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Volume I.— No. I] 



SATURDAY, APRIL 24, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



ALLIGATORS. 

[From the New York Herald, of 1849.] 

Chagres, New Granada, Jan. 2, 1849. 

James Gordon Bennett : We left New York 
amid the huzzas of friends, who bade us a most 
affectionate adieu. The passengers are from 
every section of the Union. There are men 
of talent and high integrity among us. The 
emigrants in the Crescent City have never 
been excelled, always excepting the Pilgrim 
Fathers. On leaving the Pier, I noticed 
but two females, who waved their handker- 
chiefs most gracefully, and imparted their 
sweetest smiles. The stewardess is the only 
female on board, who Is a legion, and has 
contributed much to make us happy. Extra- 
ordinary harmony has prevailed. All are 
armed to the teeth, which warns us to respect 
each other. I have not heard an unfriendly 
■word since I left New York, nor seen a wry 
face, save off Cape Hatteras and while cross- 
ing the Gulf Stream in the trough of the sea, 
with the wind blowing very hard. Christ- 
mas was the sickest and saddest day of my 
life. The Orescent was a perfect hospital. 
All were sick, including some of the boat's 
officers, and extending even to the crew. On 
the first day out, the knives and forks rattled 
like hail, but on Christmas, hardly a man made 
his appearance at table. Such sighs and 
groans, and anathemas of gold — such longing 
for friends, and home and safety, and such 
contortions as on that unhappy Christmas, I 
have never seen. A countryman staggered 
up and down the cabin, solemnly vociferating 
that he had vomited a fragment of his liver, 
and that he must soon die, and bade us all a 
most doleful farewell, and besought us to 
kindly remember him to his wife and child- 
ren. But the surgeon came and analysed his 
apparently ejected liver, which proved to be 
a huge junk of beef which he swallowed the 
day previous, without mastication. The same 
verdant genius asked the Captain, during the 
awful gale, what he would charge to turn 
round and take him back to New York. The 
Captain screamed, and swallowed a large cud 
of tobacco, and seized a handspike and threat- 
ened to dash the countryman's brains upon 
the deck if he didn't go* below. Amid the 
horrors of the hurricane, the gentle and cour- 
ageous stewardess gave us gruel, for which 
we rewarded her with a purse of gold. The 
tempest was terrible. The ocean mountains 
smote the frantic clouds, and the snowy spray 
of the ocean vales resembled lakes ot "glitter- 
ing silver. The Crescent's stern was muti- 
lated, the bniwarks stove, the wheel-house 
injured, and a man washed into the preca- 



rious sea, who was miraculously rescued by 
four daring men, whom 1 trust the Humane 
Society will reward for their extraordinary 
courage and humanity. His preservation 
caused much joy on board, and those who 
saved him have been lions since. "When 700 
miles from Chagres, the thermometer was 95 
in the shade on deck, and in the sun or cabin 
the heat was almost intolerable. The intense 
heat made us stare, and wonder what was in 
store for us when we first mounted the fiery 
steed of the equator. Some of the passengers 
were very languid, and gasped for breath like 
Peytona when leading Fashion a span on the 
fourth heat. Chagres is the Five Points in 
miniature, consisting of the very dregs of 
filth, squalid penury and human degradation. 
I have been reading Blunt's Coast Pilot, and 
found on page 476 the following consolatory 
narrative of Chagres and its ftvtal harbor, from 
the pen of Captain G. Sidney Smith, of Her 
Maje-ty's sloop Bastard : " Chagres is more 
sickly than the same latitude on the coast 
of Africa. The bar of Chagres harbor has 
two and a-half fathoms on it at low water. 
The entrance is rather difficult, and at all 
times requires a fair wind, but when in you 
are perfectly safe. (0, me! O, Jonah!) I 
would not recommend its being entered if the 
measure could possibly be avoided, or suffer 
the boats to be there at night. It is, perhaps, 
the most unhealthy place known. The Bas- 
tard's cutter was, by stress of weather, ob- 
liged to stay at night in the harbor. The 
consequent loss was a Lieutenant and seven 
men. Only one of the number attacked re- 
covered. This happened between the 27th 
and 30th of November, 1827." We approach- 
ed Chagres this morning, amid torrents of 
rain. The land for 20 miles was high and 
undulating, with occasional bluffs towering 
high above the general elevation, and rocks 
some distance from the shore. The American 
Consul arrived to-day, at Chagres, and in 
crossing the Isthmus sunk into the mud 
nearly up to his hat, mule and all. There 
are about 50 huts at Chagres, with a popula- 
tion of about 300. An alligator snapped at 
our boat, near Moro Castle, while approach- 
ing the shore, and we learn that the banks of 
the river are literally covered with hideous 
reptiles. The Castle is very dilapidated, and 
about 200 years old, and has within its dis- 
mal walls some 80 brass pieces, with no sol- 
diers, and a family of natives. A large 
sample of all the abominable reptiles with 
which these fatal latitudes abound, lurk with- 
in and around it. Board at Chagres is $5 per 
day, in a common hut. We are about to 



draw lots for the first opportunity of ascend- 
ing the river. I shall endeavor to be fiitb- 
ful in my narratives, during my entire pil- 
grimage. Adieu. 

STKPnEN H. Branch. 



Latoon, twelve miles from Chagres, 
6, P. M., in the doorway of a hut. 

James Gordon Bennett: Four of us left 
Chagres, at 12, M., to-day. in a canoe about 
25 feet long, 3 feet wide, and 18 inches deep. 
Our average weight is 160 pounds. We have 
three boatmen averaging 140 pounds each. 
Our baggage weighs about 800 pounds — total, 
1,860 pounds. In high water, as now, in con- 
sequence of heavy rains, the oarsmen paddle 
against a current of six, miles. Our canoe 
has a thatch covering composed of bamboo 
leaves and canvass. You cannot sit upright 
with a hat on, in the canoe, but must lie or 
rest on your elbow. The thatch roof is about 
two feet six inches from the bottom of the 
canoe, and about eight feet long, under which 
four of us sit and lie in a most uncomfortable 
position, with the air very close, and ants, 
and white, green and red spiders, and galli- 
nippers, crawling all over us, with alligators 
snapping at us occasionally (when we look 
over the sides of the canoe), with now and 
then a hideous water snake leaping into the 
canoe, when nearly on its beam ends. The 
rain has poured in torrents since we left, and 
after " tea" (good heavens ! what tea !) at 
the house, or hut, or hog-pen, of one of our 
boatmen, at Latoon, embark for the night on 
our journey towards Gorgona, Cruces and 
Panama. The equator children are yelling 
and squalling in the contiguous huts ; the pigs 
are squealing; the hens and ducks cackling, 
and the reptiles on the banks of the river are 
breathing the most frightful sounds. Before 
me is Jamaica rum, cocoa nuts, oranges, 
lemons, sugar-cane and other poisonous sub- 
stances, which my companions have eaten, 
uid one of them has already had the gripes. 
Latoon has some 20 huts. From Chagres to 
this place I saw three or four residences on 
rising ground, one of which, contrasted with, 
the dismal scenery of the Chagres, looked ra- 
ther pretty, which I espied while emerging 
from the most sepulchral views I ever beheld. 
Nearly all the fruits of the earth grow in wild 
luxuriance on the banks of the Chagres, and 
the atmosphere is the sweetest I ever iuhaled 
— fragrant even unto poison. Birds of all 
hues and o r all climes assemble here, and fill 
the air with the most delightful music. And 
yet, with all this to cheer the traveler of these 
burning zones, the rain, sun, currents, aha- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



dows unci malaria, and anacondas large as 
trees, and the ceaseless chattering of monkeys, 
and growls of panthers, and snaps of alliga- 
tors, render the Chagres the most internal 
river in the world. This is called the dry 
Reason, and, so far, it lias rained or poured 
about twelve times a day. The lightning is 
so vivid and incessant as to produce the most 
brilliant, yet frightful illumination of the 
scenery and atmosphere, and the thunder 
sounds like the crash of ten thousand worlds. 
But I must close, as I now embark on my 
solemn journey for the night. — Adieu, 

Stei'ubn H. Bkanoh. 



In my canoe, on the Chagres, Jan 4, 1849. 

Our supper, last night, consisted of rice and 
a stew of bad meat, with a sprinkling of all 
tha fruits I have yet seen in Grenada I 
smelt, hut did not eat a particle. My com- 
rades ate freely, and they look blue this morn- 
ing. The natives poison rats with goat milk 
and pine apple combined, or with bananas 
and brandy. Either of these combinations 
will kill a man in about one hour, so I guessl 
shall keep a bright guard on what goes into my 
belly, which is rather loose and gripy to-day. 
To continue long wet is a matter of death in 
these latitudes, and if the bowels begin to de- 
generate, you must say your orisons imme- 
diately. A native died one hour before our 
arrival, during the fifth shake of fever and 
ague. On reaching the canoe, last evening, 
to embark, we hailed it out, chopping up 
and casting overboard some dozen water- 
snakes, that had got into the canoe while at 
tea. Last night was the hardest I ever passed. 
It rained very hard, the monkeys chattered 
in droves of thousands. Our boatmen sang 
the most doleful songs all night Bull frogs 
rent the air with their discordant sounds; 
the snakes hissed, and the alligators brought 
their jaws together so fiercely, as to make 
even the forest tremble. Amid this frightful 
scene, with the thermometer at 97°, pent up 
in the veriest cubby hole you ever saw, where 
we could not move or turn over without en- 
dangering our lives by upsetting the canoe — 
it was altogether a night of extreme suffering 
to us all. We stopped at about two tins morn- 
ing, at a hut on the borders of the river, where 
being very sleepy, we took lodging for two 
hours, for which, with three cups of coffee, 
we gave $1 5(1, and departed at about five 
o'clock. Our bed was a piece of cloth spread 
on a bamboo floor, with a pillow about one 
foot long and six inches wide. It was the 
funniest pillow I ever saw, and we had hard 
■work to keep our beads upon it. When the 
natives supposed we were asleep, I heard 
some of the rascals whispering about our as- 
sassination, and I awoke my comrade from a 
protound snore with asevere pinch and acrateh 
with my long nails, when the glistening of our 
weapons, and a whisper between ourselves, 
and a slight movement towards arising amid 
the total darkness, scattered the cowardly 
assassins back to their hammocks, when we 
arose, and descended the ladder stairs, and 
paid our bill, and went to onr canoe. The 
males and females nearly all smoke, and men. 
■women, and children are nearly in a state of 
nature. I heir apparel costs them very little, 
and the green earth affords them, without 
cultivation, every species of vegetable and 
animal production. 

Stephen II. Branch. 



Cruces, and will, doubtless be the first canoe 
in, and then we will try our luck over the 
mountains to Panama. We have had a truly 
awful time. The current ran against us in 
some places at the rate of eight miles, and we 
came near upsetting several times. The ther- 
mometer is SHI this morning. 1 must close and 
run to the canoe. I will write you wheu I 
get to Panama, but doubt if you will get my 
letters, as every tiling is uncertain. I have not 
eaten tor twenty-two hours, and have been 
lying wet in my canoe nearly ever since 1 left 
Chagres. ftly health is good, but irregularity, 
fatigue, and loss of sleep, affect me adversely, 
but 1 shall strive to vanquish all impediments. 
I have acquired more practical knowledge of 
animate and inanimate nature, since I left you, 
than I have attained in all my travels, but I 
have paid dearly for my information. Poor 
Columbus, Vespucius, Robinson Crusoe, and 
Daniel Moon are constantly before my vision, 
with whom I can truly sympathise, being like 
them, a pioneer in the exploration of the 
Western Hemisphere, and its adjacent isles. 
I could drop a tear to-day, 1113' feeliugs are so 
extremely pensive, and yet I wont, but, if 
necessary, I'll yet brave tigers in their dens. 
So, good bye. 

Stephen H. Bkanoh. 



Gomoka, Jan 5, 1819. 
[St A. H .] 
James Gordon Bennett: I thank God that 
I have arrived at this infernal place, because 
it is the least odious of all the mud holes be- 
tween this and Chagres. Ours was the first 
canoe into Gorgona. Money made our men 
work for their lives. We are about to take 
brexkiuit on the shore, and then pass on to 



Pa.sama, New Grewada. 

Sunday, Jan. 17, 1S49. 
James Gordon Bennett : this being a very 
interesting locality of the globe, at this time, 
I will strive to transmit daguerreotype views 
of what transpires. I stopped at Cruces one 
night, where several died, whose graves were 
dug by the natives (just, below the earth's 
surface,) with little sticks and earthern bowls, 
which is the custom of the country. In one 
case, the grave was not dug long enough, and 
the neck was broken by turning tbe head 
over on the breast. I found several American 
officers at Cruces, under the command of Gen- 
eral Persifer F. Smith, who had proceeded to 
Panama. Finding no mules in Cruces, I 
wandered alone in the swamps in pursuit of 
one, amid rain, lightning and thunder that, 
shook tha deep foundations of the earth, and 
made the alligators show their hideous jaws. 
Through a flash of lightning, I discovered a 
inujeiteer in the dark and deep perspective, 
with whom, by signs and grim contortions, I 
contracted for a mule. The tempest twi- 
light passed, and the mild equator stars 
emerged from their mysterious depths, and 
guided myself and muletteer from the dismal 
swamp. I learn from a passenger who has 
just entered my apartment at the Americano, 
that three emigrants were buried last night in 
the mountains. Two more are supposed to be 
dying at the French hotel. God only knows 
where all this will end. An aged passenger 
entered the gate of the city about three hours 
since, whose locks were as white as the un- 
trodden snow, crying, with uplifted arms: 
"My children! my children! O God ! restore 
my beloved children." lie looked and enact- 
ed the character of Lear more perfectly than 
I had ever seen it. The snow that fell on 
Grandfather Whitehead and poor old Lear, 
were only wanting to make it the most har- 
rowing scene I ever witnessed. But unfortun- 
ately, it has not snowed on the equator, since 
the "advent of creation. The old man's chil- 
dren arrived about. an hoursince, and I had the 
pleasure of bathing the father of the flock with 
brandy, which revived and exhilcrated him, 
and made him dance before me quite a reel. 
The old fellow really danced wonderfully ; I 
think I never saw a man of his years step 
round so lively, alter I washed bis exterior, 
and especially Ids interior, with sparkling 
brandy. The old man has just told me that 
a person went from his canoe into a thicket 
on the Chagres, and shot a monkey, when all 
his tribe began to chatter wildly, and drop 



from the trees upon him, and stole his bat, 
and scratched, and bit him severely, and 
finally, about 400 monkeys chased l.im into 
the Chagres, where he liad to swim for his 
life until he was rescued by his comrade*. 
Although my brandy has made the old man 
extremely loquacious and facetious, yet I be- 
lieve his monkey story is as reliable as my 
snake and alligator narratives. 

(To be continued ) 

jstepfitn |). gkaiulu ^Uiptor. 

NEW YORK, SATURDAY APEIL 24 1858. 

Like Adam and Eve at the hymeneal altar, 
contemplating the interminable generations 
of sinners ; like Noah surveying the horrors 
of the deluge; like Julius Caasar projecting 
the passage of the Rubicon ; like the Chris- 
tians braving the persecutions of the Jews- 
like William Tell, with his bow and quiver, 
hurling defiance at Gesler in the mountain 
gorges of Switzerland ; like the great Colum- 
bus going into a midnight storm in untraversed 
latitudes; like the supernatural Washington go- 
into into battle, on whose consummation the 
liberty of the human race impends; likeNapole 
on at Helena reviewing his wondrous reign; like 
Andre and poor Orsini going to the scaffold, a- 
mid the tears of their countrymen ; and like the 
cheerful moon, in her ramble with romantic 
lovers through summer skies and groves of 
perfume, we calmly survey the horizon in our 
virgin advent of to-day, although we discern 
a snowy cloud that, resembles the terrific 
monsoon. But as the impetuous sun darts 
through infinitude, we shall soon dash among 
the adversaries of integrity and patriotism, 
and be as merciless as Jackson to the robbers 
of the toiling masses, or to the cruel In- 
dians, or to British tyrants. 

"We have exhibited some old wares to-day, be- 
cause a tried article, like a winter friend, wears 
well. We did not deem it necessary to italicise ar- 
ticle and wears. And to be more specific in the Ro- 
man language, Alligators, Autobiography, William 
Tell, and Worms, can never expire, but be as 
eternal as the garments of nature. 

Senator David C. Broderick challenged us to 
fight a duel in 1848, and Congressman John B. 
Haskins brought the challenge. The law might 
cage us if we acknowledged our acceptance of t le 
challenge, but we will permit Broderick or Has- 
kins to declare if we stained the mantles of Gresn 
and Perry of Rhode Island, whose gorgeous canopy 
we first beheld. 

"We shall soon give sketches of President. Buchan- 
an, Mayor Tiemann, Comptroller Flagg, members 
of the Common Council, the Supervisors, Ten Go- 
vernors, Commissioners of Recoi d. Education, and 
Emigration, and of our New York editorial breth- 
ren, including their Secretaiies. James Watson 
Webb being the eldest, we may start with him. We 
shall also sketch the lives of the newspaper venders, 
and give those the most immortal characters who 
sell the most of our Alligators. 

To the Metropolitan Police. — A large reward 
will be paid to the policemen who will prove by 
affidavits, or the poll lists, that Chief Mat6ell, 
the Corporation Counsel, Register, County 
Clerk, or Corporation Attorney, have voted for 
municipal, state, or national officers, since the pro- 
mulgation of our Brandon Report, on the aliens of 
both hemispheres. As the County Clerk and Cor- 
poration Attorney are formidable candidates for 
Comptroller, it is "important to know if they have 
been naturalized. We will bet they have not. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



Correspondents will address Stephen H. Branch 
through the Post Office, whose editorial room will 
be in a house, whose floor is the green earth, and 
whose ceiling is the glittering dome of Heaven, un- 
til his patronage will enable him to hire commodi- 
ous apartments in the central business portion of 
the city. 

Our warm and graceful salutations to the editors 
of New York, who clung to us in adversity, whom 
we will love forever. 

A Fuff of Merit without Charge. — "William 
T. Brttt engraved our Alligator, whose wide- 
spread jaws speak for themselves in tones of 
thunder. 

Advertisements are One Dollar a line. Tho 
overshadowing Bonner cannot have a page, lest he 
shoot the Alligator with our wadding. 

We shall have no pictures for premature chil- 
dren, save the omnipotent Alligator, who can de- 
vour a lion, or swallow an eagle without contor- 
tion. 

The withered grass of Kansas not admitted in 
the jaws of the Alligator, lest it lacerate his bowels 
with black vomit. 

Beware of alluring serpents in virtue's paths, and 
save your money, and buy nourishment for your 
wives and children. 

"We shall commence, next week, the publication 
of Alfred Carson's thunderbolts at the Common 
Council of 1850. 



Entered accordu g to Act of Congress, in the year 1867, by 

STEPHEN H. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for Uie Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H- Branch. 

Mortals who write their lives are shy 

01 crimes that ivouotl and make them sigh ; 

But I'll disc ose my evil deeds, 

Although my heart in sorrow bleeds. 

1 was born in Providence, Rhode Island, 
July 11, 1M3, and am the second son of Ste- 
phen and Lucretia Branch. My mother was 
my father's second wife. My father had four 
wives, the last of whom survives. 

Historians are liars, and gild distinguished 
villains, whose political, religious, and military 
views harmonize with their own. Autobiog- 
raphers are liars, and beast of virtues they 
never possessed, and conceal vices they always 
cultivated. I shall divulge the whole story of 
my funny and mournful career. I shall mean- 
der life's comic and dismal stream, from the 
earliest recollections of childhood to the pres- 
ent hour, and moisten my manuscript with 
tears of mirth and sadness, as my capers and 
errors emerge from the mysterious realms of 
memory. As I advance, the retrospect of my 
freaks and follies may appal, but it shall not 
deter me from its proclamation to the pres- 
ent and coming generations. I desire to record 
my frivolities and foibles, that youth and age 
may avoid them as alligators, (with hideous 
jaws distended,) in hot pursuit of their affright- 
ed victims up the embankments of the Cha- 
gres, and into the tallest trees. 

I did not inherit my peccadilloes, as I can- 
not discover a notorious sinner among my 
ancestors for nearly two centuries. My father 
was one ot the purest men I ever knew, and 
his deeds are inscribed on the archives of 
Rhode Island, in letters that can never be ef- 
faced. Although the minds of my parents 
had a beautiful symmetry, yet I can trace my 
eccentricity to their parents, who were as 
strange as Diogenes in his tub, or Zantippe in 
the streets of Athens torturing poor Socrates. 

Mrs. Grey was my first school-marm, and 
Mr. Hill my first school-master, followed by 
Miss Latham, Mr. Shaw, Pettis, Osborne, 
Record, Hammond, Gregg and Ainsworth, 
all of whom I terribly tormented. Although 
my mother died before I was seven years old, 
yet I remember the trouble I gave her, and 



bow 1 cried when the messenger came to the 
Bchool-house, and told me of her sudden death, 
and how my father and aunt Lucy wept on 
my arrival home. My father's third wile was 
my first step-mother, and although she was 
very kind, yet there was a melancholy vacuum 
in my home, and at eight years old, I sought 
diversion at the circus and theatre, and resolv- 
ed to be a circus-rider, and ground and lofty 
tumbler. But a fall from my horse while 
standing on one leg, and serious bruises while 
striving to turn summersets, disgusted me with 
the circus, and 1 determined to be an actor, 
and carried the wardrobes of the actors lo and 
from the theatre, for which I was admitted 
free. But my father heard of it, and told me 
not to visit the theatre again. But I went, 
and he gently whipped me. On the next 
night, brother Albert accompanied me to the 
theatre, and while I was wildly screaming at 
the Dromios, father entered the pit and seized 
me, amid the convulsions of the audience and 
actors. On arriving home, he took us down 
cellar, and began to rope Albert, who in- 
stantly bellowed : " O, my salt rheum ! O, 
spare "my salt rheum!" Father then grabbed 
me, and I cried : " O, my boils ! O, spare my 
boils !" when he roped me in a fresh spot, and 
did not cease until he gave me my own chas- 
tisement and Albert's too, and I never let 
Ally go with me to the theatre again, as my 
own licking was about as much as I could 
endure. But I derided father's castigation, 
and the following night, I retired at nine 
o'clock to my bed-room, in the second story, 
and tied a rope to' the bed-post, and, at the 
peril of my life, descended the house front- 
ing the yard, and went to the theatre, and 
about midnight ascended the house, and haul- 
ed in the rope, and went to bed. In about a 
week, John Horsewell got locked out, and I 
invited him to ascend the rope and sleep with 
me, to which he readily assented. In the 
morning, I did not rise at my usual hour, and 
father came to ascertain the cause, when he 
heard John Horsewell snoring like thunder 
under my bed. He looked, and discovered 
John, and grabbed him by the hair, and spank- 
ed him most awfully, and while spanking poor 
John, I jumped from the bed, and seized my 
clothes, and ran down stairs, and did not st(jp 
until I got into the barn, where I dressed my- 
self, and went to school without my breakfast. 
After school, I prowled around the house until 
father left for his place of business, and 
then went into the house and ate my dinner 
I took an early tea and went to bed ; but 
father soon cams home, and into my bed- 
room and severely spanked me, and struck me 
several times with the very rope with which 
I had descended and ascended the house, mut- 
tering something about one Hainan of old, 
while he roped me. I then exchanged a top 
for a fi>hing-line, and told my brother William, 
that if he would tie one end of the line to his 
little toe, and throw the other out of the win- 
dow, so that I could pull it and arouse him 
from his midnight slumber, to softly unlock 
the door and let me in after the theatrical 
performance, that I would let him tie the fish- 
ing-line to my little toe on alternate nights 
while he went to the theatre. This plot was 
successful for about two weeks, when some 
boys on their return from night-school, came 
into our yard to get some waterfrom our well. 
After one of the boys had enjoyed a delicious 
draught of water from our bucket, his keen 
eyes rested on the plummet at the end of the 
fishing-line, which he seized, and began to 
pull without success; when he jerked it so 
hard, as to snap the line, with cries of fire and 
murder in the second story. Himself and lit- 
tle comrades seized their scholastic lanterns, 
and scampered for their lives. Oneofthem was 
caught by a faithful watchman and brought 
into our yard, when my father escorted them 
up stairs, where brother william was welter- 



ing in blood that flowed from his toe and nose, 
and from bruises he received while running 
and tumbling over chairs and tables, and other 
bed-room utensils, when the boy gave his last 
terrible jerk of the fish-line. The boy and 
watchman now departed, and father put salve 
on "William's toe, and checked the copious ef- 
fusion of blood from his nose, and bathed his 
wounds with water and apple-jack, and put 
him to bed with a solitary but tremendous 
spank, with a promise of more when his dis- 
located toe was set and healed. Father then 
took his ambush position in the yard, and 
awaited my arrival from the theatre. 1 softly 
opened and closed the gate, and while feeling 
for the plnmmit, he suddenly grabbed me, and 
nearly scared me into the eternal world. He 
then led me into the barn, and illuminated the 
stable lantern, and took off my pants, and 
spanked me with the curry-comb until the 
blood spurted in his face, and the horse snort- 
ed and kicked him so hard that he had to 
arouse and send brother Albert for a surgeon 
to dress the fearful wound. I always blessed 
the humane and intelligent old horse for kick- 
ing father, aud thus saving my blood and 
bones, and I so intensely loved the noble ani- 
mal, that I stole father's oats, and fed him 
until he got so fat that I dared not give him 
more lest his belly would explode, and the 
oats fall out, and my theft be discovered. Af- 
ter my last trouncing, I became disgusted with 
the theatre, and resolved to go no more to 
witness such nonsense. Soon afterwards, I 
told John Horsewell that for a dozen marbles, 
I would give him some of my father's corn, 
that would parch as white as snow, and as 
round as hail, 

And would pop as high 
As the pretty sky. 

John assented, and we went up stairs to the 
attic, where fatherkept his corn. John brought 
his father's rainy hat, so that he could get 
much corn, and while I was filling it, I heard 
footsteps on the lower stairs that closely re- 
sembled father's. John's hat was about half 
full, and when I put it on his head, it sunk so 
far as to require both his hands to keep it 
above his eyes. We met father on the garret 
stairs, when John boldly looked up into his 
face, (with corn pouring down over both ears,) 
and gravely exclaimed : " Mr. Branch, I aint 
got no corn." Father uplifted the hat, and 
down went about two quarts of horse corn on 
poor John's head. I crawled between father's 
legs, and was at the bottom of two pairs of 
>tairs in ahouttwo strides, and away 1 tlew to 
the woods, about two miles distant, and did 
not return for two days, fearing that father 
would murder me for stealing corn so soon 
after my rope and fishing-line, and theatrical 
operations. When I next saw John, he com- 
plained of a sore back and legs, and declared 
that father grabbed and wrenched a handful 
of bis posterior pants clean off, and tore hair 
enough from his skull to render it slightly 
bald. I trembled at this intelligence, but I 
got cold and hungry, and went home to take 
my licking, but my step-mother was ill, and 
she ardently plead my cause, and father for- 
gave me. 

{To he continued.) 

Stephen H. Branch's Farewell to his 
Country, 

[Prom the New York Daily Times, of 1856.] 
Although I have traveled all over the globe, and 
have no desire to rove again, yet I am constrained 
to forever leave my beloved country. You may 
not mourn over my departure, but I leave you 
with painful emotions and apprehensions. I would 
linger, and toil, and die among you, but your fana- 
ticism drives me to foreign skies. The noble deeds 
of my father and his sires are inscribed on the civil 
and military archives of Rhode Island, whose vir- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



tues I would imitate and consecrate to the glory 
of my whole country ; but your reckless tendency 
towards disunion, with all its horrors, forces me to 
abjure my native land, nnd the hallowed tomb 
erected by my lamented father for the eternal re- 
pose of liis immediate posterity. Go on, then, yo 
fanatics and devils of all sections, to your hearts' 
content, in your apo»tacy to the living and depart- 
ed patriots of your distracted and divided country. 
Stop not unlil your wives and children run wild 
through streets and fields of blood, and this whole 
land is a pile of bleeding and burning ruins. Go 
on ye incarnate fiends in your bloody enterprise, 
until the mounds of your fathers are divested of 
their fragrant verdure, and are trampled by foreign 
marauders, who wildly gloat over your impending 
snicide. An irresistible horde of demagogues and 
vampires, and fanatics and lunatics, are at the 
throats of the American patriots, and threaten 
them with strangulation and utter annihilation. 
Go on, then, ye demons of hell, and tear to frag- 
m nts the glorious Constitution that was created 
by Washington, Greene, Jefferson, Madison, Ham- 
ilton, Warren, Franklin, Adams, Lafayette and 
Kosciusko, and nobly defended by Jackson, Perry, 
Taylor, Webster, Clay, Calhoun, Harrison, Grogan, 
Decatur, (and the living Scott), whose sighs and 
tears, and expiring energies, were consecrated to 
it3 eternal duration. Go on, then, ye slimy vul- 
tures, in your ruthless desecration of their graves, 
until despotic soldiers line our streets and frontiers, 
and stab the patriots who breathe the enchanting 
word of liberty. Go on, I say, in your inhuman 
Bacrilege, but I will fly to Switzerland, in whose 
deep mouutain glades I will strive to efface that I 
was born and reared among the gang of consum- 
mate fools and knaves who now level their rifles 
at the race of noble birds that have graced the 
American skies for nearly a hundred year's. Go 
on, then, ye dastard traitors, in your bloody demo- 
lition, but i will go and Sve and die in the kind cf 
William Tell, whose fair posterity evince a 
purer fidelity to their remotest ancestors, than 
those pernicious monsters whose infernal madness 
will soon surrender the bones of Washington and 
Jackson to the despots of Europe, whose shafts 
they foiled, until they went down, with tottering 
footsteps, into their immortal graves. Farewell, 
then, ye crazy parricides — farewell, ye Burrs and 
Arnolds — and when you have consigned your de- 
luded countrymen to all the horrors of anarchy and 
eternal despotism, think of the humble admonitions 
of one who, rather than behold the downfall of 
his beautiful and glorious country, sought peace, 
and succor, and a mausoleum in the mountains of 
Switzerland, once traversed by William Tell and 
his gallant archers, who created a love of liberty 
that has survived the flight of centuries, and which 
can never be subdued by foes without, nor fools 
within, her borders. In my voluntary exile, I will 
implore God to visit you with His displeasure, 
through the withering curses of your children, and 
their posterity to the remotest age, for destroying 
the liberties of their country, which you should 
bequeathe to them as they came to you from your 
illustrious fathers, whose sacred and silent ashes 
you dare not visit and contemplate at this fearful 
crisis, amid the pure and tranquil solitudes of the 
patriotic dead lest the memory of their heroic 
deeds and sacrifice should remind you of your hell- 
ish treason, and paralyze your hearts, and smite 
your worthless bodies to the dust, and consign your 
pallid livers to undying torture. Although these 
admonitions are inscribed in tones of burning scorn, 
yet they emanate from a bosom that glows with 
love for my bewildered countrymen. And my last 
request is, that every patriotic father will gather 
his littlo flock around him at evening shades, and 
read this parling admonition in a clear and feeling 
voice, and then kneel before the God of nations, and 
implore Him to preserve their liberties, with a 
blessing on the humble author of this production, 
in his unhappy seclusion in a distant land. I would 
write more, but gushing tears blind my vision, and 
swell my heart with dying emotions. 
Affectionately, 

Stephen H. Branch. 
New York, May 30, 1856 



[From the New York Times, of 1S55] 

Stephen H. Branch on Worms,— The Ver- 
micular Theory of Greatness.— Subdued 
Sea-Serpents — Alligators Outdone 
Look out for a Rise iri the price of Ver- 
mifuges- 

To tlie Editor of the New York Daily Times : 

Some men donate or construct public and 
private institutions for the public applause 
while living, while others write the sunny side 
of their lives from motives of fame and accu- 
mulation. I shall leave both sides of my career 
for the historian after I have departed for the 
spirit hind. 

Since my return from Europe, with the 
Brandon Register, with little Geprgy Matsell 
recorded therein, (as having been baptised and 
received into the Church in 1811, which cor- 
responds with his own oath before the Police 
Committee, that he was born in 1811 — stick 
a pin here,)— I have been violently assailed by 
journals in the Matsell interest, published on 
the Five Points, who attack me for sins com- 
mitted while I had a superabundance of mis- 
chievous worms in youth and early man- 
hood, and while I was shattering wild oats 
rather profusely over ray father's field. 

No man lives who would not gladly efface 
every oat he sowed during the fervors and ex- 
hilerations of boyhood and early manhood. 
But the deliberate perjury of full-grown man- 
hood can only be effaced through long years 
of retired and tearful contrition. By unceas- 
ing supplication, the wilderness may ultimate- 
ly hide from scorn the cool and premeditated 
perjurer; but no man exists who would not 
blot from the living and eternal records whole 
rows of wild oat hillocks; and no infant who 
has not premature teeth, to bite and snarl at 
their nurses, and to scream and raise Beelze- 
bub all oigi ■ ,,., lhll 
have a profusion of worms, and a nature lit- 
erally suffused with sharp vinegar and aqua- 
fortis, with two or three little devils in his 
stomach — no infant or boy without these 
hateful qualities ever make much stir in the 
world. And if, in the morning of life, we do 
not reflect Vesuvius in our eyes, and belch 
lava and brimstone from our mouths, we sel- 
dom effect much in the great scuffle of lite, 
nnd go down to our graves with Miss Nancy 
inscribed at the bead and tail of our grassy 
mounds. 

Man, like a horse, must have mettle, and 
plenty of it, with an immense bottom, or he 
cannot expect to contend with the fiery steeds 
of the turf and the forum. And, above all, a 
man must have a crop or two of worms at 40. 
All men have more worms in their bellies than 
they are aware of, (or their physicians, either,) 
and some have quarts. 

But they must not keep the old crop too 
long. Worms must come and go with the 
seasons, or they will produce incarcerated 
wind, which often produces apoplexy and par- 
alysus. Nervous dyspepsia also arises from an 
old crop of worms and a pent-up ttaiosbhere. 
1 got rid of eleven worms, ten inches long, 
about two years since, and I have been losing 
my energy and courage ever since. I caught 
the rascals thus : While in a bath-room one 
day, I siw something very mysterious. I ap- 
plied a lighted cigar to its bead or tail, (for it 
was sharp at both ends,) and I observed a 
slight movement. I touched it at the other 
end, and it moved in an opposite direction. I 
then struck a match, which I applied to its 
middle, when, lpl it was a worm, and alive 
and kicking. It died in about two minutes 
by Shrewsbury clock. I began immediately 
to take worm seed, and the following day I 
discovered five worms, one of which was tied 
in a perfect knot. The last worm I discovered 
was very small, which satisfied me that it was 
the last of his race. T think I always had 



whole generations of worms up to this last 
little scamp, and I kept him to transmit to my 
posterity. For, when coming home from school 
one day, I pulled on a worm until I could pull 
no longer, and got another boy to pull him 
entirely out. And when I beheld the mon- 
ster on the ground, I ran home for my life, 
and before I got home, a thunder storm arose 
and terrified me almost to death. 

Worms, doubtless, are the source of impulse. 
And impulsive persons have more or less 
worms, and never less than a pint. And very 
impulsive persons have not less than a quart. 
Matsell is nearly as fat as Daniel Lambert, 
and has about two gallons of colossal worms. 
And these miserable worms conquer us when 
living and dead. They have been my masters 
all my days They have produced the dark 
spots in my history, over which I have drop- 
ped many a tear, and over which I shall weep 
until I get down into my extremely narrow 
and tranquil and undying abode. 

Worms produce the evil in the history of 
all men, and yet they are prolific of infinite 
g 1. When they violently dart from extrem- 
ity to extremity, and come up and look over 
the tongue, and dart back to the sweet bowels' 
depths, and squirm most horribly for their reg- 
ular food, a man swells with uneonquer ible 
fear, and can face the cannon's mouth, and 
the devil himself, and people call him a cour- 
ageous patriot, — -when worms achieved every 
battle that was ever won. Napoleon had a 
most ungodly quantity of worms, and in their 
constant pecking at his liver, they finally pro- 
duced a cancer of which he died. Worm« did 
not start Patrick Henry's eloquence until he 
was forty years old. Jackson, too, had worms, 
that made his eye flash like a rifle and his 
voice drown the cannon. Jackson's worms, in 
early life, elicited a passion for horse-racing 
and ( ' ' Ions 

as "by the Eternal." But as soon as the 
worms left him he lost his nerve, and joined 
; the Presbyterians. The worms of Julius Caa-ar, 
at the verge of the Rubicon, were asleep over 
a hearty meal, but during his protracted con- 
templation of its passage, they suddenly awoke, 
; and over he went with gigantic strides, and 
; established Brandon, in the eastern counties 
1 of England, where little Georgy Matsell was 
born. Worms incarcerated Lafayette and 
Louis Napoleon, and worms made Eve tempt 
I Adam, and Cain kill Abel, and are the source 
of the rise and fall of empires, and of all the 
good and evil that exist. And Shakspeare's 
worms got hungry one day, aad he went out 
on a poaching excursion, and thereby lost his 
honor, and had to fly from the dear scenes of 
his youth. But a fresh crop of worms, and 
their subsequent generations, directed a pen 
that will entwine his memory around and 
within the body, flesh, blood, bones and mar- 
row of the solitary being who beholds the 
orbs of night and day forever close their bril- 
liant eyes on a numerous, funny, and mysteri- 
ous race of worms that have so long defaced, 
and pollni awled through earth, oea 

and air, leaving 1 their nanscous slime behind. 
Respectfully, Stephen H. Braxoh. 

Advertisements— One Dollar a line. 

ROGERS, BOOKSELLER, STATIONER, 
AND NEWS VENDER, Broadway, near 
Twelfth street. 

Books, all the new ones cheap, at Rogers. 

Magazines, soon a3 out, cheap at Rogers. 

Stationary, London made, cheap at Rogers. 

English Papers, imported by Rogers. 

American Papers, all sold by Rogers. 

Books to Read, at one cent a day, at Rogers. 



BX0ELS1OR PRINT, ill CBNTRS-ST. N. Y. 




TOR. 



Volume I— No. 2.] 



SATURDAY, MAY 1, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1657, by 

STEPHEN H. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H- Branch. 

John Horsewell was a poor boy, and had 
duck legs. My brother William was taller 
and older than John, and had a new suit of 
clothes, with which I clad John from head to 
foot. Bill's hat and boots were too large for 
John, and his coat on John nearly grazed the 
ground. I put on my Sunday suit, and off we 
went to Boston, forty miles distant. We quar- 
relled on the road, in a deep wood, and I de- 
manded John to take off Bill's clothes, at 
which he called me hard names, and I left 
him, and directed my steps towards Provi- 
dence, leaving him reclining on the embank- 
ment of the forest road. 1 wandered half a 
mile at a quick and revengeful pace ; but as 
twilight was approaching, and I heard the 
bark of a dog, with lungs of thunder, I be- 
came alarmed, and hurried back to John, and 
craved his pardon, and we lingered uutil the 
stage arrived, when we took passage for Bos- 
ton, reaching the Marlboro' Hotel at midnight. 
Mr. Barker was the host, and, on our inquiry 
for lamps to retire, he exclaimed: " Who are 
you, and whence came you ?" John was dis- 
concerted, but I was cool, and replied : " Our 
names are Branch and Horsewell, and we are 
from Providence." " Did you visit Boston 
with the permission of your father and 
mother ?" " No, sir." " You ran away, then ?" 
'' No, sir; we walked away." "What can 
you do in Boston in your clouts?" "Learn a 
trade, sir." " Have you any money ?" "Forty 
cents, sir." " Bob : Take these brats to your 
room, and make a bunk on the floor, and lock 
the door, and watch their movements closely 
until morning, when I will put them in the 
poor house or county .jail." And off we 
tramped to bed, up four flights of stairs, and 
were locked in until Bob came to bed, when 
we snored terribly, pretending to be in a doze 
so profound, that a cannon could not arouse us. 
John cried all night, and at daylight we 
crawled softly from our hard nests, while Bob 
was asleep, and softly turned the key, and de- 
scended the stairs in our stockiugs, and fled 
for our lives. We went to the market, and 
got a cheap breakfast, and then sought the 
theatre, where we saw Mac Cready announced 
as " Hamlet." We ardently desired to go, 
but had not sufficient money ; and away we 
trudge to Brattle street, and exchange our 
new clothes for worthless rags, with five dol- 
lars besides. We then return to the theatre, 
and linger on its steps until the performance 



begins, when we purchase tickets, and rush, 
with about forty negroes, up stairs into the 
gallery, like a gang of maniacs, (so wild was 
our common joy,) where we witness a vast 
plain of woolly heads that resemble the 
Black Sea. The heat was intense, and we 
perspired like cotton slaves, and the stench 
was as intolerable as cholera malaria. During 
the day, we engaged lodgings with a little col- 
ored barber, opposite the theatre, for nine- 
pence each a night. At the close of the per- 
formance we thumped a long period before he 
let us in, and then we found him partially in- 
toxicated. In the morning, we strolled on the 
Common, and John became homesick, and be- 
sought me to return to Providence ; and he 
cried and implored so hard, that I yielded ; 
and while engaging our passage, a young man 
named James Baker recognised us, and desir- 
ed ine to remain in Boston under his protec- 
tion, to which I assented, but John departed 
for Providence. I went to board with Jim 
Baker in Theatre Alley, with Mrs. Charnnck, 
a superannuated actress, aud afterwards at the 
Sun Tavern and other places, for which we 
did not pay our board, and walked to Salem, 
where I wrote to father for money, which he 
sent me, and I returned to Providence. He 
received me with intense affection, and I 
wept with commingled joy and sorrow at my 
return, and his anguish at my dishonorable 
absence. At about ten years old, John Horse- 
well and myself stole some pigeons from Dex- 
ter Spencer's barn, and we were caught with 
them in our hats. Father took my hand, aud 
led me to the wharf, where ships could float, 
and suspended me over the water, until I had 
a slight fit, when he carried me home. It was 
baking day, and aunt Lucy was very angry 
because he did not drown me, awl in her 
wrath, while he was absent, she took out the 
pies and brown bread, and put me in the oven 
head foremost, and nearly baked me. A few 
seconds more in the oven, and I would have 
smothered. I told father when he came to 
dinner, and he boxed Aunt Lucy's ears severe- 
ly, and demanded her to instantly surrender 
the dress and bonnet he gave her the day pre- 
vious. But she cried so hard, and wrung her 
hands so piteously, that he soon restored them, 
lest she would have cramps in the stomach, 
with which she was often dangerously afflict- 
ed, through her excessive fondness for cheese 
and hard-shell clams, of which she often ate 
until she could scarcely breathe. A month 
later, I stole some peaches and currents from 
Captain Prouds' garden, and oldjunk and iron 
from the ship yards. Father was a Justice of 
the Peace, and took me to jail, and put me in a 



cell ; but I screamed so fearfully, that he re- 
stored me to liberty in about five minutes ; 
and when I emerged from the dungeon, I 
sprang upon his bosom, and kissed him as ten- 
derly as a cow laps her calf, and I also kissed 
the turnkey, whose keys terribly scared me. 
I soon went to a country boarding school, and 
terrified the farmers for miles around, who 
petitioned father to come after me, who visit- 
ed the unsophisticated countrymen, and strove 
to tranquilise their nerves with the assurance 
that I would not contaminate their children, 
nor desolate their fields and orchards, and 
that it was the crows and not me that pilfered 
their early crops of frnits and vegetation. 
But they shook their heads, and besought him 
to restore the wonted quiet and confidence of 
the parish, by my iuunediate departure for 
some distant region. Father succumbed, and 
we left for Providence, where I became the 
very youthful clerk of Norman White, who is 
now an extensive type and paper merchant in 
Beekman street, with whom I remained until 
I left for New York with Jim Baker in the 
steamer Washington, Captain Bunker, con- 
cealing ourselves in the water closets nntil the 
boat passed Newport, when we appeared on 
deck, and strutted as boldly and proudly as 
Robert Macaire and his companion. But the 
Captain soon discovered us to be impostors, 
and made us pass pine wood to the firemen for 
our passage. Jim was older and stronger than 
me, and the Captain and first mate made him 
work like a slave; but I was seasick, and 
vomited dreadfully all over the deck, and the 
firemen, and passengers ; and as the Cap- 
tain slowly passed me, I belched a copious 
volley of the most bitter bile plumply in his 
face, for which he severely shook me, and 
made me express my sorrow for the dire cala- 
mity and apparent insult, and drove me down 
below, where I implored the Cook to throw me 
overboard, and relieve me from my deathly 
sickness. The nigger Cook laughed uproar- 
iously over my misfortunes, aud declined my 
request, and brought me a stew composed of 
pork, molasses, and onions, for my dinner; 
and, as I smelt, and inhaled, and gazed upon 
the nauseous dish, I let fly a torrent of bile 
into the darkey's face, who run for his life, 
and molested me no more during the voyage, 
and I never saw Sambo again. We arrived in 
New York, at Fulton market, and went to 
Holts' Eating House, and ate heartily, and Jim 
Baker went in pursuit of work as a segar 
maker, and I tagged on behind. He got em- 
ployment, and we boarded in Fulton street, 
near Broadway. I soon got a situation as tar 
keeper, with Mr. Saunders, in Laurens street, 



Q 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



next to the theatre, and soon .afterwards went 
a few doors above, in the basement, as bar- 
tender for Mr. Oilman. I then became a 
waiter in a New York and Albany steamboat, 
and afterwards in a Hartford steamer. I then 
went to an Intelligence office (whose proprietor 
strove to cheat me), and for 50 cents got asitua- 
tion with Win. Chapman, No. 60 Pine street, 
at $2 a -week, and boarded in Water street, 
near Beekman. Wm. II. Stansbury was Mr. 
Chapman's book-keeper, who left soon after I 
came, and went with James Brooks, of the 
" New York Express," as book-keeper, wherehe 
is now. Thiswasin 1826. My duties consisted 
in helping William Chapman softly draw his 
coat over his rheumatic shoulders, and going 
to the Post Office, and copying letters. 1 told 
Mr. Chapman that I had to pay two dollars a 
week for board, and that he must increase my 
salary, or I could not remain. He said that 
he could get a boy for less than two dollars a 
week, and I left him, and got a place with two 
brothers, named Morton, in Front street, for 
two dollars and twenty-five cents a week. 
While passing the sailor hat store of Mr. 
Leary, Mr. Leary's mother called me into the 
store, and said : " Little boy, if you will take 
this bottle, and go to the grocery and get me 
some gin, I will give you some pennies." 
When I returned with the gin, she asked me 
if I would like to be a clerk for Mr. Leary. I 
said that I would come for my board and 
clothes. She told me to call in the evening 
and arrange the compensation with Mr. Leary, 
who would then be in the store. I did so, 
and on the following day I told the Messrs. 
Morton that I must leave them, as two dol- 
lars and twenty-five cents a week could not 
buy my food and clothes, and pay for washing 
my two shirts and two pairs of stockings. Mr. 
Leary, his wife, mother, children, and myself, 
were packed like pork in two small rooms in 
the rear of the store, which were used as 
kitchens, bed-rooms, parlors, wash-rooms and 
everything else, which rendered the atmos- 
phere slightly dense and foggy, and perhaps 
impure, and in the night we often had 
skull collisions, and tumbled over each 
other, which strongly resembled a rough and 
tumble cabin scene in a terrific storm. I 
might have endured all this, but to make 
fires, open store, sell hats to drunken sailors, 
run errands, and take care of squalling chil- 
dren, so taxed my patience, and wasted my 
pale and naturally delicate form, that I resolv- 
ed to leave instanter, and, with the Pilgrim's 
heavy burden, away I flew in pursuit of em- 
ployment. Mr. Leary now keeps a hat store in 
the Astor House, whose boys are wealthy mer- 
chants in Exchange Place, whom I often re- 
mind of the days when I bore them in my 
arms, and spanked them when they squalled. 
From Leary's I went to the Harpers in Cliff 
street, and was placed in the pressing and 
folding room, in the upper story. I boarded 
with Fletcher (the youngest of the Harpers) 
in Batavia street, between James and Roose- 
velt. The firm then consisted of John, James, 
and Wesley Harper. Fletcher was the fore- 
man of the composing room, (where I was 
ultimately placed), who corrected my earliest 
errors in the printer's stick— and a precious 
job he had of it — consuming more of his valu- 
able time than my composition was worth. 
Fletcher was a fireman, and recently married, 
and rather wild, and had two children, one of 
whom was the partner of Raymond, Wesley and 
Jones, of the "New York Daily Times" at the 
origin of that Journal, whom I often fondled in 
my arms in his infancy, who was a very pretty 
child, though rather lively for one so extreme- 
ly young, whose extraordinary vivacity I at- 
tributed to worms. Wesley narper was in- 
comparably modest and susceptible in those 
days, and visited and married a lady residing 
with Fletcher, who was connected with his 
wife. While they were courting up stairs, 



the servant girl, myself, and other appren- 
tices often annoyed them with our fanny 
tricks ; hut Wesley and Fletcher did not dare 
complain of us to John and James Harper, as 
the courtship of Wesley was without the 
knowledge of the elder Harpers. The ser- 
vant of Fletcher imparted to us this precious 
secret, and we long teased the timid lovers 
with impunity, in which the mischievous 
servant participated with great hilarity. 
(To be continued to the mournful eve of our last gasp ) 



Steven f. grsncjj's Jtlliptor. 

NEW YORK, SATURDAY, MAY 1, 1858: 



Listen! — On Saturday last we arose with 
the glorious sun, and went to our printing 
office, and found the printer's devil asleep in 
his dingy bunk. We applied a bodkin, and he 
sprang at us like a tiger. We grappled, and 
discovering that he had an Editorial Alligator 
by the throat, he released his grasp. We then 
banged the gong, and the printers appeared, 
like the imps in Robert the Devil, from the in- 
fernal regions. We then placed our leviathan 
form on the press, and lit the faggots, and 
puff, puff, went the machinery, like the drums 
and trumpets in Musard's Express Train Gal- 
lop. We filled our carpet bag with Alligators, 
and flew like a whirlwind to the wholesale 
newspaper merchants in Beekman, Nassau, 
and Ann streets, where we found a plumed 
battalion awaiting the advent of the Alligator. 
The wholesalers, and retailers, and newsboys 
approached us in platoons, and clasped our fer- 
vent bauds until they squeezed them into icicles, 
and we cried for quarter, and returned to our 
printing office, for another carpet bag of Alli- 
gators, which we sold on our way to Ann 
street, and returned again, and again, and yet 
again, for Alligators, until the weary sun re- 
tired to his downy bed in the bleak peach and 
potato fields of^the Jerseys. Our printing 
office was besieged throughout the day, for 
Alligators, and on our return from Ann street 
the second time, we found our office stairs so 
thronged with applicants for Alligators, that 
we had to meander a dark alley, and ascend a 
ladder, and enter our office through a window. 
During the day, several bloody collisions trans- 
pired on the stairs, between the newsboys, in 
their struggles for the Alligators, as they 
emanated from our electric presses; and in one 
of the desperate conflicts, the Police were sum- 
moned to preserve the public peace. And, alto- 
gether it was a most laborious and exciting 
day for us, and at early twilight we were 
weary and worn, and retired soon after the 
curfew strains expired on the evening air. 
But we had an awful nightmare, in which we 
soliloquised in tones so stentorian, (about news- 
boys and Alligators,) as to arouse and terrify 
a venerable nervous gentleman in the next 
apartment, who thought we were either fight- 
ing or dying, and he rapped against the wall 
with his poker until he awoke us. While on 
the eve of our emergence from the nightmare, 
we dreamed that a colossus spider was de- 
vouring our proboscis, at which we levelled a 
Hyer blow, 

When pure hlood oozed from our nose, 
Like water from Sikeay's hode, 

which aroused us, and we darted into the bath 
room, and applied the healing Croton without 
effect, and had to dam our nostrils with putty, 
which checked the copious effusion of blood, 
but which made ns talk in nosy and twangy 
accents. In about an hour, the putty became 
thoroughly saturated and drippy, and we had 
to make fresh applications, and ultimately 
the putty dam was victorious. But our eyes 
are rather crimson, and we have fearful rum- 
bling sounds in our ears, resembling distant 
thunder, and the bugle in the mountains, and 



we fear our nostrils are in a state of inunda- 
tion, and that our blood will effect a passage 
through our eyes or ears, and rush wildly into 
the open air. But we checked the blood, 
and leaped into our couch, and off we went, 
like a patriotic rocket, into a slumber like 
that of the pure and sweet Annua, in the 
chamber of Rudolpbo, and was no farther mo- 
lested with horrible dreams of the newsboys 
and Alligators. 

Fra Diavolo and his Italian Brigands. 

Three hundred and sixteen thousand dollars 
have been drawn from the Municipal Trea- 
sury, for printing the worthless Records of the 
County Clerk's office, and nearly as much for 
the Register's Records. Who got the $550,000 
for which there is nothing valuable to show? 
Can the smooth, and glossyj and sweetly- 
scented Connolly, or Wetmore, (or Busteed 
and his kinsman, Doane,) or Nathan, or Nelson 
tell us ? Of course they can, as they were the 
corrupt disbnrsers of this prodigious plunder. 
Speak, then, ye infernal robbers of the toiling 
millions, whom ye bamboozle, and starve, and 
disease, and jam, and ram, and smother in cel- 
lars and attics and tenement houses, and whose 
devoted wives and virgin daughters you drive 
unto prostitution for food ami rent and medi- 
cine and apparel. You consummate these per- 
nicious wrongs and oppressions through your 
Janus and Judas professions of democracy, 
which no more resemble Jefferson's, Madi- 
son's, Calhoun's and Jackson's political creed, 
than your sleek hair, and fancy apparel, and 
thievish propensities resemble the simple garb 
and integrity of those democratic legions, 
whose votes you literally steal through your 
honied political heresies, and the lavish ex- 
penditure of the very money you steal from 
the people, through such jobs as the Record 
printing. With fast horses, wines, and costly 
gluttony, and daubed all over with pomatum, 
you revel high in your dazzling Persian Pa- 
vilions, whose construction and gilded furni- 
ture, and luscious viands, are stolen directly 
from the honorable and deluded millions. 
These are truths, and we will proclaim them 
from the steeples of the metropolis, and strive 
to arouse a people who slumber on the con- 
fines of volcanoes, while thieves, and rapes, 
and incendiaries, and midnight assassins are 
softly crawling towards their throats. Your 
perjured alienage we might extenuate, but 
your robbery of the honest and laborious 
masses we will expose and combat, if wo rot 
in the dungeons of Blackwell's or Sing Sing. 
The purest editors of this thievish age are too 
pliable, and politic, and mercenary for the 
public welfare ; but we will dissect your rob- 
bery, if we are crucified with spikes, and our 
limbs are chopped and hacked with a butcher's 
axe, and our flesh, blood, bones and marrow- 
burned to cinders, and our ashes cast upon the 
whirlwind for annihilation. The axe and faggot 
we defy. God only do we fear. So, come on, ye 
teeming caverns of infernal thieves, and seize, 
and incarcerate, and butcher, and strive to 
annihilate our mortal scabbard, but you shell 
not have the soul, which will elude your 
wicked and revengeful grasp, and have eternal 
succor in the realms of purity and bliss, if, in 
its mortal pilgrimage, it be true to God and 
his pilfered, oppressed, and misanthropic chil- 
dren. 

Ice Cream. 

Under the genial, affable, and generous Jo- 
seph Gales, of the National Intelligencer, 
James Watson Webb is the senior editor of our 
country, and James Gordon Bennett is close 
at his heels, whose venerable and majestic 
forms will soon descend the dismal steps of 
the tomb, and their extraordinary souls ap- 
pear in the awful presence of a Judge, from 
whom there is no appeal. Solemn thought I 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



and almost paralysing in its contemplation. 
Webb was born in America, and Bennett on 
the mountains of Scotland, where one of his 
parents survives, to enjoy the success and pro- 
tection of her faithful son. With James Wat- 
son Webb we never exchanged a word, which 
we can scarcely realise in view of our intimate 
relations, for twenty years, with other metro- 
politan editors. But with James Gordon Ben- 
nett we have had the closest relations, and we 
proclaim, with no ordinary emotions of plea- 
sure, that he has treated us more like a brother 
than a stranger. In our memorable mnemotech- 
nic controversy with Professor Francis Fauvel 
Gouraud, in 1843, when almost every editor 
in America was arrayed against us, and eter- 
nal ruin seemed inevitable, James Gordon 
Bennett came to our rescue, and, with George 
W. Kendall, of the New Orleans Picayune, 
George D. Prentice, of the Louisville Journal, 
and Mrs. Walters, of the Boston Transcript, 
we were sublimely victorious in that scholas- 
tic disputation. In consideration of his mag- 
nanimous conduct, we wrote to the Herald 
about one hundred columns from Panama and 
California, when the civilized world was rock- 
ed, to its profoundest basis, with the dazzling 
gold discoveries, and on our return, he gave us 
money, and ever cheered us in our illness and 
penury. When we wrote the inflammatory 
Beport of the noble Alfred Carson, against the 
Common Council of 1850, we gave it to Mr. 
Bennett, to the exclusion of the other editors, 
because he had been true in our adversity, 
when the hands of all mankind seemed up- 
lifted to annihilate our pale and feeble frame. 
We had boarded with Horace Greeley, for 
seven years, at the Graham House, in Barclay 
street, and all our relations had been of the 
most friendly character ; and yet we deemed 
it our sacred duty to send our Pilgrim letters 
to Mr. Bennett, and also give him Carson's 
famous Report, to the exclusion of Greeley, 
because Bennett's fidelity was next to our 
Father's. Greeley was a formidable candidate 
for the Mayoralty, when Carson's Report ap- 
peared, and if we had given it to him instead 
of Bennett, he would have been the successor 
of Mayor Woodhull. But in giving it to Ben- 
nett for publication one day in advance of 
Greeley, so exasperated the latter against Car- 
son and ourself, that he attacked the Report 
like a ferocious bull dog, and slew himself, 
whose name was hardly whispered in the 
Mayoralty Convention that soon followed. 
Alderman Morgan Morgans, (President of the 
Board of Aldermen,) Alderman Robert H. 
Hawes, Alderman George H. Franklin, and 
Mayor Woodhull himself were also candi- 
dates. But as they were all severely de- 
nounced in Carson's Report, for discharging 
culprits without examination or trial, and for 
other offences common to Aldermen in those 
days, they were all rejected by the Conven- 
tion, when the oily Ambrose C. Kingsland en- 
tered the arena, and was nominated and easily 
elected, which proved to be the saddest muni- 
cipal calamity of that period, as he was in 
collusion throughout his term with official 
scoundrels, and made more money than any 
Mayor who preceded him, as one of our Al- 
dermanic pupils often assured us; and if Kings- 
land will publicly deny our accusations, we 
will adduce our informant's name,and paralyse 
him. And to be briefly explicit, our infor- 
mant was connected with Kingsland and 
Draper's operations to rob the city of the 
Gansevoort property. Kingsland's appoint- 
ment of Matsell as Chief of Police partially 
corroborates the assertion of the Alderman 
who imparted his precious information. Kings- 
land's appointment of Matsell was effected thus : 
According to his custom, with Mayors elect, 
Matsell invited Kingsland to a ride into the Me- 
tropolitan suburbs, on the morning after his 
election, and in passing a gaudy edifice, the 
Brandon Chieftain halted and exclaimed: 



" Kingsland, my boy, is not that a fascinating 
mansion ?" Kingsland crimsoned, and gazed 
rapiers and scabbards, and in baffled accents, 
mildly ejaculated in the expressive language of 
Jemmy Twitcher: " Veil, vot of it?" "O, 
nothing, — only I thought I would inquire how 
you enjoyed yourself in its rainbow halls on 
Friday evening last. And, by the way, how 
about the appointment of Chief of Police? 
Have you resolved whom to appoint ?" "Cer- 
tainly I have. Yon well know my ancient 
love for you, and that you are my choice for 
Chief, beyond any being living or dead. I was 
elected to eject you, but I shan't do it, my 
boy. 'Thou art the man !' Ha, ha, hal Give 
us your hand, old boy. Ha, ha, ha ! A very 
fine day, ain't it Matsell ?" " Kingsland, you 
have really got a magnificent Palace in the 
Fifth Avenue, but I think your front parlor 
requires a five thousand dollar clock, to render 
it thoroughly gorgeous and enchanting." 
" Chief, what in the name of mud are you 
driving at ?" " I am driving for my life to 
Burnham's, for his choicest brandy and Ice 
Cream." 
More delicious Ice Cream next week. 

Our Country's Ruin. 

The seed of wide-spread corruption is cul- 
minating here, at Albany, and Washington, 
with the velocity of light, (which is about two 
hundred thousand miles per second,) which 
may rend the Union to fragments during the 
present generation. And the present leaders 
of parties will be the immediate cause of our 
country's downfall, through their sly winks 
and blinks at the robbers of their respective 
parties, to seize the public booty to elect their 
municipal, State, and national officers. Horace 
Greeley, with all his professions of purity, 
justice and humanity, will shield an anti-slave- 
ry thief at every peril of his conscience, and 
scourge the thieves of all other parties like 
Tacitus, or Diogenes, and so will the leaders of 
the American and Democratic parties. It is 
not the struggle for the boundaries of slavery 
and freedom that will rend this Union to 
atoms, but the miserable, thievish, aspiring, 
and traffic politicians who use the Negro and 
Satan, to seize the public treasure and official 
honors. It is the ungodly grab of lazy men 
for gilded booty, to enable them to revel in 
indolence, and control the elections and magic 
wires of all the parties, that will consummate 
our dissolution and eternal ruin. And Greeley 
and Bryant know this, and so does that puri- 
tannical, mercenary, penurious, white hand- 
kerchief 'd, and stiff-necked old Presbyte- 
rian, Gerard Hallock, of the Journal of 
Commerce, and those thieves of thieves, 
and Catalinian conspirators, and oversha- 
dowing plunderers, Simeon Draper and 
Thurlow Weed, whom God, or man, or 
fiend should drive to the wilderness, or 
smite from the face of the earth, and, if pos- 
sible, from its profoundest bowels. For their 
stabs at the heart of our free institutions, and 
their pernicious example to the youth of this 
generation, they should be hurled from the 
summit of the Rocky mountains. There is no 
honor or patriotism in these demons. If there 
were, they would rally like our Fathers for 
the preservation of our glorious Union, and 
the Municipal, State and National Treasuries, 
whose plunder they counsel and shield in the 
infamous persons of their political confede- 
rates, and share their spoils in darkness, with 
only the Devil present, but the Great Invisible 
in the awful distance, whose retribution will be 
terrible when it comes, beyond the grave ; 
and worms may partially devour their vile 
carcases, before they die, as with Biddle and 
Nero, and Caliglula. All leaders of parties 
are plunderers, and thus directly advocate the 
subversion of our liberties and the public dis- 
honor. God, alone, from the Revolution to 
the present hour, has shielded the Americans 



from foreign and domestic adversaries, with 
his beneficent arms expanded over our fertile 
vales, and fields, and plains, and forests, and 
noble mountains, and has rescued us from the 
Burrs and Arnolds, and Goths and Vandals, 
who strive to.paralise our progress in a pure and 
sacred civilization. But our disunion and 
subversion are as inevitable as the advent of 
the morning sun, unless some Washington, or 
Cincinnatus, or Brutus the First come forth, 
and stab the incarnate devils down, and tram- 
ple their worthless bodies in the dust. Thieves, 
rapes, incendiaries, assassins, and traitors teem 
like the Egyptian locusts throughout our bor- 
ders, and the odious vices, and bloody strife, 
and crumbling ruins, and all the horrors and 
havoc and universal chaos of the Roman Em- 
pire, and other ancient States, will be our 
awful doom, unless the wisdom, and virtue, 
and firmness of our country rally in the Forum, 
and impart the principles of integrity and pa- 
triotism to the people, and immolate the lead- 
ing scoundrels and traitors of the age. Thus 
only can we avert the overshadowing evils 
that flit like midnight spectres through every 
street and habitation, and will soon spread 
through every meritorionsfireside. And thus 
only can we avert the execrations of our pos- 
terity, for being recreant to the Roman Fathers 
of the Revolution, and for not resisting with 
our lives, the barbarians of the present gene- 
ration. 

Nice and Modest.— The son and son-in-law 
of Peter Cooper as Mayor and Street Com- 
missioner of the largest city of the Western 
Hemisphere, worth haif a million per annum. 

Aminidab Sleek, 

(Without a shriek 

For freedom, 

Or bleed 'em, 

Or Sodom, 

Or Gotham,) 

Could make that sum at least, 

And for life have a feast. 

The office-holding Coopers 

Are worse than the Hoopers, 

So fat grow they, 

On pap all day, 

Throughout the year, 

Which seems so queer, 

For Reformers, 

Or Performers, 

Which was always so, 

In this vale of dough : 

Our eves are wo I 

oi on om 

Dev'l-in a Bakery. 

Hawes, the New York baker, says: "Branch, 
do you know Charley Devlin?" "Yes." "Well, 
Branch, I was a baker apprentice with him, 
and also a journeyman. He was burned and 
floated out of his bakery in the Fourth Ward 
some years since, and he desired to bake for 
his customers in my oven until his own was 
repaired. I, of course, consented. Subse- 
quently, he became a primary politician, and 
for several years past has besought me to sell 
my bakery, and become a contractor. I hesi- 
tated for a long period, but hist year, (finding 
that he had acquired wealth very fast,,) I re- 
solved to dispose of my bakery, and join him 
as a contractor. A neighbor learned my pur- 
pose, who assured me that, to his sorrow, in 
early life he was a politician,, and that if I 
joined Devlin as a contractor, I would be com- 
pelled to take at least three false oaths a day 
throughout the year, (for which people are 
sent to States Prison ten years, and forever 
lose their suffrage,) which so alarmed me, that 
I abandoned my intention, and narrowly es- 
caped the portals of a dungeon, and the loss 
of my patronage as a baker, and my reputa- 
tion as an honorable man, for which I de- 
voutly thank the Great Disposer of Events." 
We congratulated our honest friend Hawes, 
and warned him to beware of the Dev'l-jn a 
bakery. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



The Happy Family. — How cunning for 
Peter Cooper and Mayor Tiemann to 6end 
Hopeful to the Democratic General Commit- 
tee, and beat Elijah F. Purdy by one vote for 
Chairman; and then for L»aniel and Edward 
(the sons of Peter) to turn up Mayor and 
Street Commissioner. It is the more cunning, 
as Peter Cooper and Daniel F. Tieraann have 
held Municipal offices since 1828, and now, 
with Hopeful, have two of the most lucrative 
and honorable offices in America. Iu view of 
all this, Peter can well afford to give two or 
three upper stories of a Bowery edifice to the 
city for educational purposes, without feeling 
it very keenly. Besides, the immortality of 
the gift is of some moment. Verily, the Tie- 
mans and Coopers should be a very Happy 
Family ; and if Death do not confuse and 
thwart their successful and extraordinary tac- 
tics, as with poor Joseph S. Taylor, (who, with 
all his faults, had a heart as big as a moun- 
tain,) they will doubtless acquire sufficient 
from the public teats, which they have suck- 
ed so long, to render them co.iJbrtable in 
their superannuation. 

For Pale Students, and Bomantic 
Virgins. 

In 1780, Washington defrayed the educa- 
tional expenses of a youth, who was an imme- 
diate descendent of Pocahontas, and procured 
his passage to Scotland, where he became a 
student in its noble highlands. In his class 
were two youths, whom he loved with enthu- 
siastic fondness. One was from Damascus, 
and the other from the Oriental Empire, who 
was born beneath the native village skies of 
Confucius, to whom he traced his blood. On 
the eve of graduation, and just prior to their 
departure for the remotest portions of the 
globe, they fondly rambled in the woods and 
groves, where they oft had wandered, and as- 
cended majestic mountains, on whose celestial 
peaks, (with the pale moon in her zenith roam- 
ing,) they sung these pensive lines, in their fa- 
vorite Alpine bowers : 

When shall we three meet again ? 

When shall we three meet again? 

Oft shall glowing hope expire ; 

Oft shall wearied love retire ; 

Oft shall death and sorrow reign, 

Ere we three do meet again. 

Though in distant lands we sigh, 
Parched beneath a hostile sky ; 
Though the deep between us rolls, 
Friendship shall unite our souls ; 
Long may this loved bower remain ; 
Here may we three meet again. 

When the dreams of life have fled ; 
When its wasted lamp is dead ; 
When in cold oblivion's shade, 
Beauty, wealth and power are laid; 
Where immortal spirits reign, 
There may we three meet again. 
They soon departed for their respective 
countries, and never met again 1 Alas 1 

** The human heart, like the muffled drum, 

Is ever beating funeral marches to the graTaf 

WANTED-Temperate, energetic, and impulsive 
young men to canvass the city for the Alliga- 
tor, who can be carriers on those routes where 
they obtain subscribers. There are thousands 
of masters and misses, and fathers and mothers, 
and grandfathers and grandmothers who will 
take the Alligator. So, young men, off with 
your coats, and fly through the city like a 
tornado, for subscribers to the Alligator. And 
first visit the Astor, Saint Nicholas, Metro- 
politan, Lafarge, Everett, and other splendid 
Restaurants and Oyster Saloons, not one of 
whose proprietors will refuse the Alligator. 
But if they should, just let us know, and we 
may, in our wrath, blight their custom with our 
fatal jaw. And visit the Reverend Doctors 



Potts and Taylor, and see Brown, the fancy 
Sexton, and ask the loan of his magic whistle, 
which will guide you to victory like a wand 
of enchantment. If Potts and Taylor salute 
you like Diogenes, and Brown declines his 
festive and mausoleum whistle, we may haunt 
them with a peep through their private win- 
dows on the first dark and boisterous midnight. 
So, boys, look aloft, and arouse yourselves, and 
select your own routes without our consulta- 
tion, until you desire our Alligators to serve 
your ecstatic patrons. 

The following was written, in 1854, by Ste- 
phen H. Branch, for Aid. Orison Blunt, then 
Alderman of the Third Ward, but is now 
Supervisor from the Fifteenth Ward: 

Captain Robert Oreighton : Sir: I am au- 
thorized by the Corporation of the City of 
New York to extend to you the Freedom of 
the City, together with a gold box, as a tes- 
timonial of their regard for you. I might 
linger on the thrilling incidents connected 
with your fidelity to suffering humani- 
ty, from the moment you discovered the San 
Francisco, until you rescued from a watery 
grave, more than 200 distracted beings. I 
might touchingly allude to your tears from 
day to day, as witnessed by your sailors, be- 
cause you could not sooner relieve the unfor- 
tunate. I might speak of the fearful respon- 
sibility you assumed in violating the insur- 
ance of your ship and valuable cargo, by de- 
viating from your specific course ; of your 
fearful perils amid the howling tempest ; 
of the four inch stream of water pour- 
ing in upon yon, which caused both 
pumps to be constantly wrought before 
you discovered the wreck ; of the disadvan- 
tages of four hundred tons of iron, and large 
quantities of merchandise, in a ship of only 
seven hundred tons burthen ; of the loss of 
every sail before you saw the wreck, save 
your foresail and mainsail. I might dwell on 
these historical truths, and on your affection- 
ate regard for the rescued, but I forbear. All 
this, and even. more, is on every tongue, and 
uttered around every fireside, and cannot be 
glorified by me. The contemplation of the 
good you have effected will ever be a delight- 
ful solace to you, and your humanity will be 
a precious inheritance to your consanguinity. 
The wives and children of those whose lives 
you have preserved will ever love you, and 
transmit your name to their farthest posteri- 
ty. The mariners of every ocean will strive j 
to imitate your meritorious example. The 
noble youth of our country will read of your 
heroic deeds, and resolve to emulate 
your manly virtues. Little children already 
lisp your name in terms of praise. Tears of 
gratitude are freely shed for you by either 
sex, and fervent prayers go up to Heaven 
from the habitations of all this land, that your 
valuable life may be long preserved, and that 
health, happiness, and prosperity may ever be 
your lot. And your name will be revered by 
coining generations, when every being who 
beholds the sun of this day, shall be a tenant 
of the tomb ! 



Advent Record— One dollar a line. 

George W. Matsell was born in Brandon, 
England, and weighed 15 pounds at birth, and 
won the first premium at the Brandon Baby 
Show. Robert Dale Owen visited Brandon on 
the day after his birth, and gave him some 
sugar plums and a silver porringer. 

Richard B. Connolly was born in Bandon, 
Ireland, (R., for Rogue, being the only differ- 
ence between Matsell and Connolly's birth- 
place), 20 miles west of Cork, and will leave 
with his parents for Independence Hall, Phi- 
ladelphia, where he will be naturalized. 
Richard is a handsome and promising child, 
and opened his expressive eyes and sweetly 



smiled, and said Mum and Pap when two days 
old, when his astounded Mum dropped him 
into the lap of Bridget, and screamed and 
swooned and fell and rose with dishevelled 
hair and projected tongue and frothy mouth 
and distended nostrils and run into the neigh- 
bors, with Pap after her with gigantic strides. 
Three days alter birth, little Dick said 

Slippery- 
Dicery, 
Hickory- 
Trickery, 

when his confounded Mum scampered to the 
Fortune Teller, and Pap to the Physician for 
worm seed, and to the Nurse of the Infant Lu- 
natic Asylum, for a strait-jacket for the little 
scamp, when the medicine and jacket sooth- 
ed him into a gentle slumber, with Mum and 
Pap slowly expiring on his precocious lips. 

And as he lay, 
All the lone day, 
In a cradle, 
Like a stable, 

in his starts and stitches and solliloquies, he 
often roared to Pap and Mum the words 
" County Clerk," " Contractor," " Silent 
Alms House Governor," " Ex-oflicio Record 
Commissioner," " Comptroller," and inquired 
for Simeon Draper, 

Whose clerk he would like to be, 
In the land beyond the sea, 
Called the Free America, 
Where there's " lots" of trickery." 

Dickey may be a model Comptroller, unless 
he prematurely dies with proboscis paralysis. 

Richard Busteed was born near Tipperary, 
Ireland. His eyes reflected a thrilling flip- 
pancy on the fourth day. Will soon leave 
Tipperary with his Daddy and Mummy for 
New York. Will probably excel in the so- 
phistry and metaphysics of law. Has prodig- 
ious conscientious developments, projecting 
like cliffs and promontories all over his skull. 
Will always desire to pay his debts before 
they are due. As he matures, he will be sus- 
ceptible and impulsive to the 90th degree, and 
have marvellous compunction. Will never be 
rude nor impolite, nor snatch candy from 
other boys, although his bump of snatchitive- 
ness may grow in wild Irish luxuriance, or 
through Catalinian pomatum, which may 
cause him to snatch pap from his Mummy's 
breast, (while she is serenely snoozing, to re- 
cruit from his unreasonable demand for pap,) 
which may nourish and increase his hillock of 
diminutive snatchitiveness, and cause him to 
snatch like Bobby Morris, and thunder and 
lightning, when he grows to the size of a tai- 
lor, in America, where he will be naturalized 
through his father's residence (?) And, altoge- 
ther, little Dickey Busteed is a cute infant, 
and will soon be a rouser of a brat, and may 
rise from a petty-foggy lawyer, to a keen and 
pious Corporation Counsel, and might make a 
very shrewd Record Commissioner, but will 
always be poor, from his too moderate and 
compunctive legal fees. 



Increase Record— One dollar a 


line. 


None. 


Decrease Record— One dollar a 

Paupers Gratis. 


line. 


None. 


Marine Intelligence. 





The Clipper Stephen H. Branch arrived 
this morning in a tempest, with a cargo of 
Alligators, consigned to 

Ross&Tousey, 121 Nassau street. 

Dexter & Brother, 14 Ann street. 

Hamilton & Johnson, 22 Ann street. 

Samuel Yates, 22 Beekman street. 

Madden & Company, 21 Ann street. 

Cauldwell & Long, 23 Ann street. 

Boyle & Whalen, 32 Ann street and 

Bell & Hendrickson, 25 Ann street. 




AJUJU 



moR. 



Volume I— No. 3.] 



SATURDAY, MAY 8, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Truth Whips Fiction. 

Love and Sin. — Fatality of the Metropolis. — 
Domestic Vices. — Virgins Betcare. — Parsons 
Profess too much, and Practice too little. — 
" We must be Cruel to be Kind." — A Terri- 
ble Example. — Let Sacred Teachers Warn 
their precarious Daughter* to Avoid the 
Snares of Music and Fiction. 

In the shades of twilight, amid the perfume 
of the sunny zones, sat a pale and attenuated 
6tudent from the northern climes, musing of 
his native vales and hills, and the sweet idol 
of his heart, whose latest thoughts he had just 
perused. He had consumed too much mid- 
night oil at college, and his health was gone, 
and he sought the towering bluffs of Natchez 
for restoration, where he was a sophomoric 
pastor. The figs, and flowers, and balmy 
breezes restored his health, and he returned 
to his native latitudes, and married one of 
Eve's most fascinating posterity. He preach- 
ed 

In dale and vill. 
And shore and bill, 

and came to the metropolis, and cast a gaunt- 
let to Dr. Wainwright on bishops and crino- 
line, which made owls screech, and worms 
squirm, and frogs sing, and alligators grimly 
grin, and snakes and toads hiss and belch se- 
pulchrals. Wainwright boldly seized the 
gauntlet shaft, and the sacred pugilists closed 
like panthers, and the people hissed, and 
laughed, and applauded, as the battle raged, 
and Bennett filled the air with his most comic 
darts, which made the Herald sell like Slieve- 
gammon news. We had worms and boils, and 
salt rheum, and ate Graham-bread and mush, 
and slept with Horace Greeley in Barclay 
Btreet, till our bones did rattle, and we could 
not laugh beyond a whisper, and 

Our shanks were 80 thin, 
That negroes did grin, 
And, as we passed by, 
Dogs and caca did cry. 

"Long time in even scale the battle hung," 
until Potts and Wainwright retired from the 
field as conquerors, in the estimation of them- 
selves and enthusiastic friends. The sun and 
moon and romantic stars performed their 
wonted evolutions, and Potts and Wainwright 
had their salaries increased, and rose to Bish- 
oprics and the giddy alpines of the godly ave- 
nues, and we went to the setting sun, and al- 
most beyond the world. On our return from 
the bleak, and shady, and snowy slopes of the 
Rocky Mountains, in 1849, we dwelt with 
Mrs. Mitchell, at the corner of Houston and 
McDougal streets, whose family consisted of 



her daughter, two nieces, a sister, and Otto 
Dressel, a teacher of piano music, whose style 
was soft, pensive, sacred, and bewitching. We 
had boarded with Mrs. Mitchell, in Broadway, 
eight years previous, and in 1841, while going 
np the dark alley that led to Jackson's pawn- 
broker's shop in Reade street, we met Mrs. 
Mitchell coming down the lane, who sneezed 
while wo coughed, when we both passed on 
with crimson cheeks and sly glances of each 
other. Otto Dressel's sleeping apartment at 
Mrs. Mitchell's in Houston street, in 1849, was 
next to ours ; and many a summer eve, while 
reclining on our couch, has Otto borne us into 
the unconscious realms of Morpheus, with his 
soothing and entrancing music. The pale 
and rosy and dark-eyed offspring of the 
mother and departed sister, were ever at 
his door, and perhaps too often within, or 
on the music side of his portal. We often 
heard the thrilling echo of kisses, and the 
sudden tap of his piano, to drown the reverbe- 
ration emblems of a lover or libertine. And 
we often warned the mother and sister of the 
fatal intimacy between the music serpent, and 
the pretty virgins of their blood. But they 
smiled, and said: "O, fy ;" and we let the 
music-teacher have his way, and he kissed 
and hugged the lovely maidens to his heart's 
content. The eldest girl was Julia Mitchell, 
who drew near one evening while we were 
seated on the sofa, (with no light save the 
milky rays of an autumnal moon,) when she 
said: "Stephen, can you keep a secret?" 
" Yes." " Then listen : Otto Dressel, you 
perceive, is morose and reserved, and digni- 
fied at our table, but he is a thorough scamp, 
and so loquacious when alone in the presence 
of pretty girls, that his tongue rattles like a 
rattlesnake; and his music, in the society of 
spotless virgins, is so alluring, as to enrap- 
ture, and bewitch, and deprive them of self- 
control and consciousness. Almost every 
evening, the beautiful, and musical, and intel- 
lectual daughter of the Rev. Doctor George 
Potts archly and slyly drops gilded notes on 
our steps, when Otto, who is watching her 
arrival from his bedroom window, runs down 
stairs with the velocity of a deer, and clutches 
the pale and lovely missives, and bounds np 
stairs like a bloodhound. Otto is her music- 
teacher, and he tells me that he reads with 
her, at her father's and elsewhere, all the la- 
test English, French and German works of fic- 
tion, which fill her impulsive genius with the 
profoundest romance and fatality. It is about 
the period of her appearance, and [ desire you 
to take a position at the window, and behold 
how prettily, and gracefully, and archly, she 



leaves her mysterious note for her adored 
Otto." We sat near the window, screened by 
the lattice and gauzy curtains, and presently 
we behold her in the distance ; and, after gaz- 
ing at Otto's window, she discovers him on 
the watch, and rapidly crosses the street, and, 
after leering cautiously around, she softly 
places the letter on the steps, and hastily de- 
parts, when down comes Otto, like a vulture 
for its prey, or like Putnam down the rocky 
precipice, or like the Falls of the eternal Ni- 
agara, and seizes the pretty note, and flies 
like an eagle to his celestial cloister. Julia 
gently smiles, and intently gazes at us, and we 
at her, in the profoundest silence, when we 
arise, and pace across the moonlight rays that 
gild the rainbow carpet, in disconcerted medi- 
tation. Julia becomes alarmed, and exclaims: 
" Stephen, you seem agitated and bewildered, 
and 1 fear you will disclose in Bennett's Herald 
what you have seen to-night." We assured 
her that we would not, and then she besought 
us, in plaintive tones, never to divulge our 
painful observations to the Reverend Doctor 
Potts, and \tts assented, and soon retired, but 
could not repose, and arose and paced the 
room, and in fancy rambled through our early 
days, and parted the lattice, and gazed upon 
the autumnal firmament, and counted its biil- 
liant constellations. We saw the meteors fall, 
and heard the watchman's solemn cry, and 
closed the lattice and retired, (with the im- 
prudent Parson's daughter, like an affrighted 
ghost, flitting before our midnight vision,) and 
there was no repose for us. We tossed hither 
and thither, like a vessel in a storm, and 
heard the doleful clock measure the passing 
hours, and heard the shrill music of the King 
of hens, and gladly hailed the first pale ray of 
the morning twilight that lit upon our nose, 
and we arise, and enter the exhilerating atmo- 
sphere, and stroll with the earliest rays of 
Aurora, as she gilds the hills and sacred skies. 
We pace the streets in excited contemplation, 
and waggons, and rustics, and butchers, and 
debauchees, and homeless wanderers pass us 
in rapid succession, for whose hard and mys- 
terious destiny, our poor heart beats high in 
tearful sympathy. We pass on, and intoxi- 
cated girls, of incomparable beauty, reeled by 
our side, who had just emerged from dens of 
infamy, where they had been decoyed, and 
their virginity forever blighted by incarnate 
demons. We rove through the commodious 
Park, bearing the enchanting name of Wash- 
ington, and recline beneath its mellifluous 
foliage, and soliloquize in the mental disquie- 
tude of Aristotle, when he apostrophised on 
his expiring pillow, with his arms across his 



a 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALMGATOR. 



breast, and liis deluged vision turned to Hea- 
ven : "0 God ! I entered the world in sin, — 
have lived in anxiety, and I depart in per- 
turbation. Cause of causes, pity me, poor 
Aristotle." We ruminate with our bewildered 
eyes riveted on vacancy, and suddenly resolve 
to divulge all to the Reverend Doctor Potts, 
and at a bound are in his dazzling habitation, 
close by his side, whom thus rudely do we ac- 
cost: "We are a stranger, on a mission of 
love and duty. What we disclose will appal, 
and you may lose your sacred temper, and 
drive us from your presence. Hut, as we came 
to save your daughter from the embraces of a 
villain, if you violate our person, we shall 
yearn for a terrible revenge, and may, in 
our awful wrath, slay you in your own do- 
mestic castle." lie paled and trembled, — bis 
eyes glistened and lips quivered, and his hair 
actually arose. We told him to be as serene 
as the morning sky without, as we bad come, 
like the Saviour, to rescue his beauteous child 
from ruin, and himself, and wife, and other 
children from eternal degradation ; and that 
what we should disclose, -must be concealed 
in his heart's most secret recesses, until the 
Ourfew tolled the departure of his final sun, to 
which he most solemnly assented. And then 
we divulged all we have here narrated, when 
he arose, and, with bis hands clasped, lie cried 
in tones of melting tenderness : "What! my 
daughter! my darling child, who is the hope 
and solace of my being, to drop notes for Otto 
Dressel in Houston street! Impossible, sir — 
impossible — utterly impossible. Mr. Dressel 
is a great pianist, and came to this country 
with letters to me from the leading men of 
Germany, and I have the highest confidence 
in his integrity, and I permit him to visit my 
family, and he often passes his leisure in my 
house, and teaches music to my daughter, and 
they often sit for hours at the piano, and play 
duets and sing together like brother and sis- 
ter ; and I think they admire, but do not love 
each other, as she is betrothed to a southern 
gentleman of great affluence. Otto I love, 
and so does my wife, and other children, and 
we treat him like one of us ; but my eldest 
daughter simply admires, but cannot love him 
without infidelity to her betrothed. All her 
purest and most sacred affections are concen- 
trated on another. But Otto 'will ever be 
welcome to my house, for I like his delightful 
music and his modest demeanor, and I cannot 
and will not believe that he could be guilty 
of dishonorable stratagem, to rob me of my 
favorite child. It is impossible, and I will not 
believe it." We arose, and smiled, and de- 
parted with the usual courtesy of departure. 
And soon we received the following, which we 
punctuate and italicise precisely as we re- 
oeived it : — 

" To Mr. Branch : Dear Sir — It has just 
occurred to me, that I owe you a line, to ex- 
press again my thanks for the manly straight- 
forward way in which you brought to me the 
derogatory scandal you had heard. Far bet- 
ter such a method of dealing, than that of 
talking ahout people of whom we have heard 
disparaging statements — and far better than 
anonymous letter-writing, which shoots ar- 
rows in the dark. Although the affair yon 
brought to my ears — plausible as seemed the 
statements you ree'd — had no farther founda- 
tion, than the passing of notes about indiffer- 
ent matters — still I am none the less obliged 
to you for the manner in which you mado it 
known to me. My promise of holding you 
harmless, is the only reason, why I do not call 
upon the parties named, and take them to task. 
This, however, I cannot do, without your per- 
mission — nor perhaps is it of any importance 
I should. I may, however, suggest to your- 
self a good office toward the young person, 
With whom this story, (which owes its plausi- 
bility to a little fact, and a good deal of sus- 



picious fancy,) originated: namely to warn 
her of the danger of letting her imagination 
and her tongue run away with her. Respect- 
fully yours, 

Geoegb Potts. 
Nov. 0, 1849. 

P. S. — If it should lie at all in your power, 
you would oblige me if you could verify the 
lory of the dropping of notes, and who the 
person (if such an one there be) is. 

here is oub beply. 

New Yoke Citv, Nov. 12, 1810. 
To the Rev. Dr. PotU : Dear Sir— Your 
approval of my course is truly grateful to my 
feelings. On my return to my abode on the 
day I saw you, my interrogations elicited the 
following, which I forward as an answer to 
your request in yoH* postscript, although I 
supposed I had sufficiently verified all I dis- 
closed. MisS Mitchell says that she knows 
your daughter, when she sees her, and her 
mother and two nieces also know her by 
sight; that the Saturday previous, (three days 
prior to my visit to you,) she saw your daugh- 
ter ascend the steps, ring the bell, request the 
servant (who is in collusion with Dressel and 
your daughter), to hand a note to Mr. Dressel, 
and depart as far as the corner of Sullivan 
and Houston streets, where she tarried until 
Mr. Dressel (leaving immediately on the re- 
ceipt of the note in his room) overtook her, 
when they walked away together, arm in 
arm, and that similar scenes occurred while 
Mr. Dressel boarded with them in Bond street, 
last Winter, where the correspondence began, 
which has also been conducted through the 
Dispatch Post ever since, Mr. Dressel some- 
times receiving as many as three letters per 
week ; that a colored boy has sometimes 
broughtthe letters ; that these letters (at least 
those Miss Mitchell perused, at Mr. Dressel's 
request,) comprised sis closely written pages, 
with the name of your daughter annexed, be- 
ginning with : "My dear, dear Otto :" and with 
"My dearest and very best friend," &c. ; that 
these letters bear the impress, on the seal, of 
"Happiness," "Pain," "Eye," &c; that Mr. 
Dressel has your daughter's daguerreotype, 
which has been open on the piano, in the par- 
lor of Mrs. Mitchell, or on the piano or bed in 
Mr. Dressel's apartment. Now, my dear Sir, 
if all this be fallacious, Miss Mitchell deserves 
a severe retribution. Time will show as to 
its truth. I am equally tho friend of Mr. 
Dressel, and of the family of Mrs. Mitchell, 
and of your own family, all of whom are 
strangers to me in the light of consanguinity, 
and nearly by association, save as the boarder 
of Mrs. Mitchell now and hitherto. But if I 
can save your daughter from the dreadful 
calamity of elopement, and her parents from 
the deep mortification and anguish that would 
arise therefrom, I assure you that I will do so, 
come what may. The pride and glory of your 
family, and of a large circle of acquaintance 
and friends, shall not be suddenly and surrep- 
tiously sacrificed forever, if I can avert it. 
So, my dear Sir, you can command my ser- 
vices as you please, in a rational way, in all 
this business. I repeat what I said at our in- 
terview, (in reply to your assertion of implicit 
confidence in your daughter,) that you must 
not lose sight of tho frailties of our nature, 
with its unreliable and treacherous impul- 
sions, nor of the power of genius, nor the ex- 
traordinary fascinations of music (in tho hands 
of a great master,) over the delicate, unso- 
phisticated, and enthusiastic mind of a female, 
with kindred musical genius; and that even 
opposing natures oftenform alliances of friend- 
ship and matrimony. 

From your friend, 

Stephen H. Branoti. 

To Rev. Dr. Georgo Potts. 



N. B. — I trust you will excuse the haste 
with which this letter was written, owing to 
the arrival of friends from California, on yes- 
terday. S. H. B. 

Time rolls! Mr. Perkins, a young lawyer, 
(formerly of Natchez, but who had removed 
to New Orleans,) comes North, and marries 
the daughter of the Rev. Dr. Potts, and they 
sail for Paris, where he discovers in her trunk 
the very letters that Dressel wrote her while 
at Mrs Mitchell's, in response to her " drop 
notes," and also letters from Dressel that she 
had just received in Paris, which were en- 
closed in her mother's letters from New York. 
Terrible scenes transpire, resembling those 
between Othello and Pesdeinona, and she 
flies from him in terror, and conceals herself 
in Paris, and writes to her father, who goes 
t<> Paris and accompanies her to America, 
when he immediately sends for us, and weeps 
in our presence, and deeply regrets that he 
had not adopted our advice, and driven Dressel 
into the street, who, with the imprudence of 
bis own wife, in inclosing Dressel's letters to 
bis daughter in Paris, had plunged his family 
into irremediable ruin. Perkins returns and 
goes to the Irving House, at the corner of 
Chambers street and Broadway, where we 
bad frequent interviews, when he cries like a 
little child; and denounces Mr. and Mrs. Potts, 
but defends the chastity of his wife, and re- 
grets his passion and his furious anathema of 
her in Paris. The matter is thrown into the 
Courts, and Perkins employs Daniel Lord, 
William Kent, and Benjamin F. Butler, and 
Potts engages Wm. Curtis Noyes, Ogden Hoff- 
man, and Staples, and both Perkins and 

Potts strive to induce us to testify in their 
favor, and because we peremptorily refused, 
and assured them we should disclose the truth 
on the stand, they dared not call the case for 
trial, lest our testimony would overwhelm 
both parties, and consign them to eternal 
odium and misery. Perkins obtained a di- 
vorce, and was elected to Congress, and mar- 
ried a Southern lady. Miss Potts remains 
single, and is a noble ornament of society. 
One of Mrs. Mitchell's nieces was seduced by 
a monster, and had a child, and she soon 
became a prostitute, and her mother a 
lunatic. Julia Mitchell married a Southron, 
who professed great wealth, but proved to be 
a pauper, and a villain of the deepest calibre. 
Julia obtained a divorce, and married a Mr. 
Moffat, who was also supposed to be im- 
mensely affluent. Mrs. Mitchell died, and her 
other niece resides with Mrs. Julia Moffat. 
And thus ends the first Chapter of this mourn- 
ful narrative. 

O whence have we come ? 
And where shall we go? 
And why are we here 
To combat woe? 
come fair spirit 
Through the air, 
And tell us more 
Of this affair. 

NEW YOBK, SATURDAY, MAY 8, 1858; 

Ice Cream. 

The toiling million starved by the heartless 
Politicians, and the Fifth Avenue Robbers 
of the Public Treasure, irho are the sovree of 
Oppressive Taxation, and Exorbitant Rents, 
and Fuel, ami Food, and Raiment, and 
Prostitution, and Suicide, and of Theft, 
Rape, Arson, and Assassination. 
Reclining on the velvet banks of the Hud- 
son, were Mayor Kingsland and little Georgy, 
with steamers, and mariners, and forests, and 
tho full round moon, and radient stars re- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



fleeted in the placid waters. With segars, 
and wine, and luscious cream before tliem, 
Georgy said : " Kingsland : I came from Bran- 
don in the ship Perseus, in 1817, and was a 
valiant youth. Patrick Dickey was a passen- 
ger, with 400 others. We exchanged vessels 
at Halifax, and tarried several months at 
Perth Amboy, and resided in Banker street, 
(the Fifth Avenue of those days,) and at Nib- 
lo's Garden, where my father was a fashion- 
able Broadway dandy tailor, on whose big 
sign was ' George Matsell, Tailor, from Lon- 
don.' Our residence was the first brown- 
stone mansion erected on Broadway. My 
father was of the Paine, Wright, and Owen 
creed, which I early imbibed. My brother 
Augustus was the Secretary of Fanny Wright, 
and I was her enthusiastic disciple, and sold 
her books, and pretty pictures, which were 
not obscene, and for which I was not indicted ; 
nor were my associates imprisoned thirty days 
in the Tombs, whom I induced to visit Amer- 
ica. Through Fanny Wright and George H. 
Purser, (who was the favorite of Fanny,) 
and Robert Dale Owen, I became a Custom 
House officer, under Martin Van Buivn, and 
a Police Justice under Mayor Varian, and 
Chief of Police under Mayor Havemeyer, with 
whom and all his successors I had great in- 
fluence. I pulled the nose of every Mayor 
save Havemeyer, whom I found extremely 
mulish ; and yet I made him fear me when 1 
chose. Although my salary was small, yet I 
realized a stupendous fortune like yourself, 
since you began your political career in the 
First Ward, as a shoulder-hitter, and a 
candidate for Assistant Alderman, and suc- 
cessful municipal oil contractor. We under- 
stand these political ropes and wires, Kings- 
land, and it is unnecessary to linger on them. 
You are on the Fifth Avenue, in a Persian 
Palace, while I adhere to Stanton street, in a 
humble dwelling, lest I be suspected by my 
enemies of acquiring vast treasures through 
my office of Chief. I think you commit a 
fatal error in your display of magnificence, 
hut I'll not murmur, as all are responsible for 
their own sins and imprudence. You may 
have a boisterous career, and a gust may 
arise, like that of Astor Place, when you may 
require my services. My coolness and intre- 
pidity on that occasion, saved the city from 
universal massacre and conflagration. I judi- 
ciously remained in the Opera House, and 
commanded Woodhull, Talmadge, Westcrvelt 
and Sandford, to fire at the mob in the street, 
or all would have been lost, and the city in- 
stantly demolished, and its inhabitants butch- 
ered and burued to bleeding fragments and 
Kansas cinders. I was in the stage-box 
throughout the frightful spectacle, lest from 
my immense fat, 1 might be as palpable a 
target for the foe, as Daniel Lambert, my re- 
motest ancestor on my Daddy's side. Lam- 
bert is from Lamb, a word of Brandon origin, 
and hence the mildness of my disposition, 
although I am terrible in bloody conflicts, 
where the fate of a city is involved. And the 
eye of Providence was in my appointment 
by Havemeyer, and my skillful and cour- 
ageous direction of the entire Astor Place 
riots. The Mayor, Recorder, Sheriff, and the 
General, were pale and timid, and faltered, 
and it required the lungs of Knox, (who could 
bellow into the ears of Washington across the 
icy and tumultuous atmosphere of the Dela- 
ware,) and the nervous fat of an immediate 
descendant of Lambert, and the herculean 
vigor of Sampson, and the impetuosity of Put- 
nam, to brave the demons of Astor Place, 
who strove to exterminate my countryman, 
the gallant, and graceful, and intellectual 
Macready, who was right in the introduction 
of a dance in Hamlet, as Hamlet's grand- 
father was a dancing master to the King 
of Denmark, and hence Ned Forrest had no 



right to hiss Macready for his testimonial of 
respect to Hamlet's grand-father. Shake- 
speare, himself, was long a correspondent of 
Hamlet's grand-father, and introduced the 
dance in Hamlet from his respect to his old 
friend, which Johnson ejected during the 
very year that Shakespeare died, because he 
had a quarrel with Hamlet's grand-father in a 
ball-room, in Denmark, when Johnson not 
only got licked, but had his nose broken in 
five places, besides the horrible and irreme- 
diable fracture of its tip end. This is 
the gist of the whole Astor Place quarrel, 
and MacCready was familiar with all these 
historical truths, and hence his introduction of 
the dance in Hamlet. I saved the city and 
MacCready, and by adroit tactics I saved my- 
self, by adhering to the stage box, (with a pis- 
tol in either hand,) until the massacre was 
over in the street, and the exasperated popu- 
lace had dispersed, when I rushed into the 
open air, and knocked down a blihd-crippled- 
music-grinder, and brandished my sword and 
pistols ferociously, and frightened a little boy 
almost to death, who was inquiring for his 
mother. It was hard for me to order the 
.Mayor, Recorder, Sheriff, and General, to fire 
upon the Americans; but my duty to a fel- 
low-countryman in peril, and to myself, and 
to the people, whose alien Chief I was, — and, 
above all, to a God, in whom I ardently be- 
lieve, and love, and fear, and into whose eter- 
nal embrace I expect to go, demanded me to 
indirectly give the thrilling and fatal word of 
fire, which hurled a score of beings into the 
dreary entrails of the globe, and into the sud- 
den and awful presence of our common Dei- 
ty. And now, Kingsland, my dear boy, in 
view of my tried courage, and my prodigious 
influence with the file of Mayors who have 
preceded you, and of my aid to you in pri- 
mary elections, and of m} T powerful recent se- 
cret support of you in your nomination and 
election — and — and — you know, Kingsland, 
all the rest. I say that, in view of all this, I 
desire you to let me remain as Chief of Po- 
lice, for which I will cling to you as I did to 
Fanny Wright, and Robert Dale Owen, and 
George H. Purser, and to the City of New 
York in its hour of peril. Do this, my dear 
Kingsland, and I will lobbj T through the Com- 
mon Council the Gauze voort jobs, and all the 
oil contracts you desire, and let you go where 
you please unmolested ; and you can join 
Messrs. Paine & Phalon in musical, or lot- 
tery and policy operations, and buy as many 
millions of dollars' worth of land in Williams- 
burgh and Greenpoint, and own as many licen- 
tious houses in Church, and Leonard, and 
other streets, as you desire, and I will not cull 
a solitary hair from your beautiful and con- 
scientious skull. What is your response ?" 

Kingsland, — "Have I not declared that you 
were my first choice for Chief of Police?" 

Maxell. — " Yes. But that was only a ver- 
bal declaration. I desire the bird in my own 
cage. I want the fascinating documents un- 
der your signature." 

Kingsland. — "Waiter: Bring me pen, ink 
and paper. [Writes.] There, Matsell, there it 
is, but do not use it until I see my political 
friends, and conciliate them with the assur- 
ance that your appointment w r as absolutely 
essential to the preservation of the Metropolis 
from riots, and sword, and fire, and ashes. It 
I fail to allay their exasperation, I shall send 
them to you, and if you fail to pacify them 
with promises of appointment, and those 
sweet accents that flow like Stuart's syrup 
from your ruddy lips, and your oriental bows, 
and meek scrapes, and cringing smiles, — why, 
then, you must put your bloodhounds on their 
track on howling tempest nights, (when only 
owls dare prowl through the fearful dark- 
ness of ether,) who will pursue them to the 
dens of infamy and revelry, and blasphemy, 



and obscenity, and dicery, when you will have 
them in your awful clutches, as you have me. 
O, God! Matsell, I hardly know what I say. 
Wine works wonders, and now let us fill our 
glasses to the brim, and have another dulcet 
cream, and depart for the Metropolis, — and at 
our nocturnal farewell, let us kneel and swear 
beneath the universal concave, that we will 
cling to each other like Damon and Pythias, 
or Burr and Arnold, until our wormy con- 
querors begin their happy feast, and grin and 
dance over our silent and icy forms in the 
dreary and awful sepulchre. But remember 
my oil and other contracts, Matsell. Be pi- 
ously true to them. When we next meet, I'll 
tell you how to effect their continuation with 
the Aldermen, if you don't know already, from 
your limited experience. 

Chorus. 

0, oil is the thing 
That the stuff will bring, 
Which will buy sweet cream 
To eat on life's stream. 

[More ice-cream next Saturday, of a superior quality.] 

Supervisor Blunt. 

Two more public documents, written by 

Stephen II. Branch for Orison Blunt, who 

was Alderman of the Third Ward in 1854, 

and Alderman of the Fifteenth Ward in 1857, 

and is now Supervisor from the Fifteenth 

Ward. 

[From the N. Y. Herald, April 22, 1851.] 

Paul Julien's Second Concert. 

The youthful artist has created a perfect 
furore in musical circles — amateurs, profes- 
sionals, dilettanti and every body else; Ids 
talent is wonderful, and his improvement still 
more remarkable. He lias, withal, the modesty 
which is the companion of true merit. His 
second concert was given at Niblo's Saloon, 
on Thursday evening, and it was attended by 
as full and fashionable an audience as that 
which welcomed him on Tuesday evening. 
Mavseder's grand variations were given for 
the second time, upon a single string; the 
second attempt was even more successful than 
the first, and the young artist gave the high- 
est proof of genius in overcoming difficulties 
previously regarded as insurmountable. Ano- 
ther gem of the soiree was a duet for violin 
and piano-forte, by Julien and Richard Hoff- 
man. It was capitally given and was encored. 
The vocal part of the concert was given by 
Mine. Commettant and M'lle. Henrietta Beh- 
rend. The enthusiasm of the audience at the 
matchless execution of Jnlien was unbounded. 

But an episode occurred yesterday which 
was more telling in its effects than the ap- 
plause of the audience on Thursday evening. 
It was a grand " variation" in the form of 
five one thousand dollar bank notes, a gift to 
the young musical genius. The following ex- 
traordinary letters describe the affair: 

New York, April 21, 1854. 

Waster Paid Julien: I have heard your 
delightful music in the Concert room, and 
you have had the kindness to play for myself 
and friends at my residence. In earlier life I 
strove to learn the violin, but I abandoned it 
as too difficult for me. Its intricacies are un- 
conquerable to all save those who are inspired. 
I have heard of the extraordinary persever- 
unee and severe pecuniary trials through 
which your father has passed, to impart to 
you, his only child, a musical education. And 
I deem the efforts of both father and son 
highly commendable, and truly worthy of en- 
couragement. I therefore present you with 
five thousand dollars, which I trust will bo 
consecrated to your intellectual, musical, and 
moral culture. — Sincerely, 

Orison Blunt. 

[Tarn over /or Pavl'n response.] \SS~ 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S AIXIGATOR 



New York, April 21, 1854. 

My Dear Sir : — More words, though bright- 
ly glowing with affection, could not express 
ray grateful emotions for your unexampled 
munificence. Nor could the most stirring 
strains I ever expect to conceive, reflect the 
chords you have touched in my heart. I can 
only assure you, that I will be very studious, 
and fondly cherish you next to my father and 
mother. I may soon return to France, and it 
you should ever visit me, I am sure that my 
friends would cordially receive you, for your 
substantial kindness to me during my sojourn 
in a far distant land. Affectionately, 

Paul Julien. 
Alderman Oreson Bluut, 

Warren street, New York. 

We led Alderman Blunt into this, and we 
trust the public will not censure him-, but lash 
us most unmercifully for such a vile imposture. 
Blunt never gave a cent to Paul Julien, — and 
when we asked him some time afterwards, to 
aid Paul, he declined ; but Alderman Thomas 
Ohristy gave Paul $80, to relieve himself and 
rather and mother. When we had our last 
sad interview with Madame Sontag, just prior 
to her fatal departure for Mexico, by way of 
the Lakes, (in a conversation of three hours 
at her room in the Mansion House in Albany) 
she assured us there never was such a talent- 
ed youth as Paul Julien, and that she had 
adopted him, and warmly besought us never 
to desert him, not only as his private teach- 
er, but as his pecuniary friend, and we most 
solemnly promised we would not. After Son- 
tag died in Mexico, Paul became very poor, 
and as we were also indigent, we hatched this 
stratagem to deceive the public, and create 
excitement, and fill a conce.it room for Paul, 
and we asked Blunt to sign this sham letter, 
which he did. We have ever been disgusted 
with this wicked imposition, and have suffer- 
ed the compunction of a penitent thief, and 
we now dash the odium from our conscience, 
as a midnight spider prowling round onr nose. 
And as it is the only Barnum and Oilman oper- 
ation in which we ever were enlisted, we trust 
and believe that the public will forgive us. 

James Gordon Bennett knew nothing of 
our imposition, nor did Frederick Hudson, his 
Private Secretary, until the present week, 
when we disclosed the whole infamous pro- 
ceeding to Mr. Hudson. 

Fun, and Sun, and Shade. 

Frances Fauvel Gouraud, the mnemonic lec- 
turer of 1843, gave gold pencils and othor gilded 
trinkets to males, and reticules to females. John 
Innrnau was oditor of the Commercial Advertiser, 
to whom he gave a massive gold pencil, and dosired 
to give a reticule to his fair lady, who was sister of 
the once famous Clara Fisher, and now Mrs. Maeder. 
The day was warm, and the cholera diarrhoea was 
prevalent, and he loudly rings the bell, and dashes 
into the house with all the enthusiasm of a French- 
man, and screams : "Mrs. Innman: Have you got 
one necessaire ?" She is dumb for seconds, and her 
lily cheeks are balls of fire, and indignant phreuzy 
glares in her eyes, when she proclaims : " I will 
call the servant," and furiously retires. The ser- 
vant darts in and balls out : " Come hither sir," and 
on he tramps, behind the servant, into the base- 
ment and the yard, where he is politely escorted 
into the necessaire, when he savagely ejaculates : 
" The (liable ! Tou von tarn skamp I Why for 
you take me in dis vile place ? By gar I by dam 1 
What is dat I smell ? What you for eat so much 
unions in dis country ? You one tam rascal 1 What 
for you bring me in dis nasty place" ? 

Servant — " Mrs. Innman directed mo to show 
you the necessaire." 

Gouraud — Necessaire! Vat 1 — You call dis 
necessaire t By gar I You tell one tam lie. A 
necessaire is full of holes." 

Servant — " And is not this necessaire full of 
holes?" 

Gouraud — "Yes — dat we admit for de argu- 



ment — but they are such tam pig holes, dat de 
ladies' perfume would all run out into de street. 
Why does for you laugh right in my face? Me 
will break youi' tam head if you laugh at me. A 
necessaire has very small holes iu my superb 
French beautiful and sublime and very glorious 
pountry. Me did not mean to ask Mrs. Imuran 
for dis kind of necessaire. Me mean one little 
box, or bag, or rc-ticklo-'em, to put her sweet per- 
fume handkerchief, and other pretty little things 
in. Whewl 0, by gar I Me shall sneeze ? How 
me nose do tickle 1 Git me out of dis one tam yard. 
Mo be sick already. By dam — mo are ruined. 
Ah ehe — Horatio I Dare — does you not see dat ? 
Did not me say me should sneeze ? By dam 1 
How you does smell in dis nasty country. Where 
is Mrs. Innman ? Me must explain to her that 
me mean de other necessaire, and not dis necess- 
aire." 

Servant — " You perhaps had bettor see Mr. Inn- 
man, as it would not be proper to explain such 
a thing to Mrs. Innman." 

Gouraud — (Seiziug the servant by the throat) — 
You are one tam villain, and me tell you me 
must seo Mrs. Innman, for to ask her pardon, or 
Mr. Innman will give me no more pufls of 
my astonishing System of Mnemotechny. Me 
must see Mrs. Innman. Dare — dare is one gold 
pencil, (it was copper plated) and now let me see 
Mrs. Innman." 

Servant — "Well, I will ask her if it be agreeable 
to see you." 

Gouraud — " Bury well — bury well — and me will 
wait domb stairs, until you come with Mrs. Inn- 
man." 

Servant — (returns) " I have explained every- 
thing to Mrs. Innman, who says that she hopes 
you will excuse her from an explanatory interview, 
and regrets that necessaire has been confounded 
with something less fragrant, and that she is very 
sorry she had you escorted into the yard." 

Gouraud — Seizes both hands of the servant, and 
dances, and runs him up and down the parlor like 
fury, and cuts half a dozen pigeons' wings with 
his buoyant legs, and sings Marseilles, and darts 
out of the house, and down the street, as though 
a creditor was after him ; and in the far perspect- 
ive, with his elastic step and fancy and frantic ges- 
ticulation, ovinces a wild delight that resembles 
the ecstaeies of Elysium. 

Our Beloved Brethren of the Press. 

The Reporters of the Common Council have 
received 200 dollars each for their laborious ser- 
vices, which is a happiness to us beyond expres- 
sion. We know their generous emotions, and 
their evening toil in a sickly atmosphere, some 
of whom have the ability and genius to wield 
the destinies of a city or nation. Although Hor- 
ace Greeley recently told us that he had never 
been in the Board of Aldermen, and would 
hardly know where to find it, yet James Gordon 
Bennett has told us that he served a terrible ap- 
prenticeship as a Reporter of the Common Coun- 
cil, more than a quarter of a century since, and we 
know that most of tlie metropolitan editors were 
Municipal Reporters prior to their present exalted 
and lucrative, and powerful position as public 
journalists. Even before we baptised the Alligator, 
we had to endure the tortures of a ten years' pil- 
grimage around the corners and through the 
subterranean caverns of the City Hall. But no 
more of this. We sincerely congratulate our 
Reportorial friends, on the reception of a trifling 
remuneration for their severe and honorable 
toil. 

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1867, by 

8TEPHEN H. BRANCH, 

In the Cleric's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H Branch. 

My brother Albert came to Now York without 
the knowledge of father, and I got him a situation 
at the Harpers. I shall never forget how hard 1 
besought John Harper to employ Albert, who did 
not want a boy, but kindly employed him to please 
mo. Albert had the salt rheum, and also had very 
small and spiteful yellow bugs on the surface of 
his cranium. As I had to sleep with him, I comb- 
ed his head every day, and when I found one of 



the little villains, I most cruelly tortured him with 
pins and flame, to terrify his brethren who remain- 
ed, and to thwart his return to Albert's head. But 
in spite of my bloody precaution, poor Albert's 
skull teemed like Egypt of old, with ferocious ani- 
mals, and I retired with him at night, invested with 
the fear of a culprit on his march to the scaffold. 
The yellow scamps made such a Napoleonic resist- 
ance, that I procured a finer comb, and in my vio- 
lent efforts to drag out and exterminate the enemy, 
(who were deeply embedded and irresistibly forti- 
fied in his invulnerable skull,) poor Ally screamed, 
like an eagle on his cliff, and Mrs. Harper came to 
the basis of the attic stairs, and severely scolded us 
for quarrelling and fighting, as she supposed. Mrs. 
Harper was extremely nervous, and fearing she 
would learn that Albert had battalious of animal- 
cule in the region of his brain, and also tremblihg 
lest they would ground arms, mid encamp and form 
tents iu my luxuriant intellectual foliage, I advised 
Albert to return to Providence, and after long per- 
suasion, with candy and peanuts, and peaches, he 
assented, and I went to Captain Bunker, Junior, 
who kindly consented to take him to Providenco, 
without charge. While leaning on the railing of 
the steamer, with our eyes on the beautiful pano- 
rama of the bay, Captain Bunker told me that my 
lot was cast in a vicious eity, and that I must re- 
sist evil temptation, and always be a good boy, 
and become a worthy man, and breathed other kind 
words into my ears, which soothed my lonely 
and inexperienced heart, made me cry vocife- 
rously, and I have always cherished him with the 
purest affection. Albert went to Providence with 
Captain Bunker, but instead of going to father's, he 
proceeded to Boston with the money John Harper 
gave him, and thence to Eastport, Maine, where 
the yellow bugs increased so rapidly, that he was 
compelled to return to Providence, where father 
had his head shaved, which presented a bloody 
battle plain, full of teeming entrenchments, and 
his yellow foes so bewildered him, that the 
hospital nurses had to watch him closely, for seve- 
ral days, lest he would destroy himself. 

John Harper often called me from the compo- 
sing to the counting room, and sent me to the Banks 
in Wall street to get or deposit money. I often 
contemplated the robbery of the Harpers, by 
flight to a foreign land ; but when I reviewed their 
| exact justice to all men, apd their kindness to my- 
self and brother Albert, and to all their apprentices, 
'journeymen, and laborers, I would falter in my 
j wicked purpose. While returning from bauk 
( with a $500 bill, 1 dropped it by design, and 
, asked a stranger if he had lost it, who said yes, and 
strove to seize it from the^pavement, but I was 
about one second in bis advance. While about to 
run, he seized me and demanded the return of his 
$500 bill. I cried and screamed lustily, and dur- 
; ing the scuffle, two gentlemen came to my relief, 
I when my antagonist soon fled, and I run down Cliff 
street, like a bloodhound. Better time was never 
i made from the old pump of Saint George's to the 
i Harpers. I never again pretended to lose a $500 
biH. 

(To be continued to our last groan.) 

The following meritorious gentlemen are 
wholesale agents for the Alligator. 

Ross&Tousoy, 121 Nassau street. 
Hamilton & Johnson, 22 Ann street. 
Samuel Yates, 22 Beekman street. 
Mike Madden, 21 Ann street. 
Oatildwell & Long, 23 Ann street. 
Boyle & Whalen, 32 Ann street and 
Bell & Hendrickson, 25 Ann street. 



Advertisements— One Dollar a line 

IN ADVANCE. 

AVO. BUKNTASO, SMITHSONl \IV NEWS 
DEPOT, Books and Stationery, 608 BROADWAY, cor- 
ner of Houston street. 

Subscriptions for American or Foreign Papers or Books, 
from the City or Country, will be promptly attended to. 

Foreign Papers received by every steamer. Store open 
from 6 A. M. to 11 P. M throughout the week. 

OUKRS, KOOKSEI.I.EK, STATIONER 
and NEWS VENDER, Broadway, near Twelfth street. 

Books, all the new ones cheap, at Rogers. 

Magazines, soon as out, cheap, at Rogers. 

Stationery, London made, cheap, at Rogers. 

English Papers, imported by Rogers. 

American Papers, all sold by Rogers. 

Books to Read, at one cent a day, at Rogers. 

"EXCELSIOR PRINT, 211 CENTRE-ST, N. Y. 



R 




Volume I— No. 4.] 



SATURDAY, MAY 15, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Let Dad and Son Beware ! 

Peter Cooper and Mayor Tiemann are old 
and sacred friends of George TV. Matsell, who 
are more familiar with each other than they 
are with the Bible, or morning and evening 
prayers. Mayor Tiemann was elected with 
the express condition that Matsell should 
be restored to his old position, and Peter 
Cooper and Mayor Tiemann, and James TV. 
Gerard, and Ambrose C. Kingland are at work 
for their lives to effect the restoration of Mat- 
sell, and all impends on the election of a Com- 
missioner in place of the noble Perrit. Mat- 
sell was in the city at the last Mayoralty elec- 
tion, conspiring against Wood, who saved him 
from the scaffold, after we convicted him of 
alienage and perjury, and the dastard and 
sacriligious abjuration of his country. And 
at the late election, he stabbed his benefactor 
down in the dust, in the assassin's darkness, 
and did not play Brutus for the public virtue. 
but to consummate his restoration to an office 
(he had always degraded) which was in the 
contract between himself and Cooper, Tie- 
mann, Gerard, and Kingsland, and other slav- 
ish friends. TVe know them all and the ren- 
dezvous of all their kindred Diavolos, whose 
names would fill the jaws of the Alligator. 
Matsell professed to enter the city from Iowa 
with flags and music on the day after Tie^ 
mann's election, but he was in the city long 
before, and concealed in as dark a cavern as 
the odious Cataline, while conspiring to foil 
the patriotic Cicero, and consign the eternal 
oity to a million thieves. And we now warn 
Cooper, Tiemann, Gerard, and Kingsland to 
beware. For if they foist Matsell on the city 
through the purchase of Nye or Bowen with 
Mayoralty, Street Commissioner, or the pap of 
the Mayor's Executive vassals, we will make 
disclosures that will make them stare like 
affrighted cats, (Gerard a la he-cat, and the 
others a la she-cats,) and rock the city to its 
carbonic entrails. Talmadge must remain, al- 
though he annoyed his nurse and mother when 
a brat, and so did we ; and in boyhood and 
early manhood we both had worms, and raised 
Sancho Panza, 

And we rambled around the town. 
And saw perhaps Miss Julia Brown, 

as we may develope in the publication of our 
funny reminiscences ; but we are both grow- 
ing old, and told our experience at the recent 
revival, and asked admission as pious pilgrims, 
when the deacons said that we should both be 
put on five year's trial, but we begged so hard 
they let us in. Talmadge joined the Pres- 
byterians, and he looks pale and pensive, but 
we joined the noisy Methodists, and look 



mighty cheerful, and sing and dance, and 
scream like the devil in delirium tremens, and 
nervous neighbors murmur at our thundering 
methodistic demonstrations. Talmadge as 
Recorder was too kind and lenient, but he 
erred on the side of humanity, which is pref- 
erable to err on the side of a pale and icy and 
bloodless liver, though we should steer be- 
tween the heart and liver, and consign the 
culprits to the pits and gulches of the navel, 
where the voracious worms could soon devour 
them. The valor of Talmadge conquered 
the ruffians of Astor Place, and he has a 
Roman and Spartan nature, and is as generous 
and magnanimous as Clay or TVebster, whom 
he loved as his own big heart. No man ever 
had a more genial or sympathising bosom, 
than Frederick A. Talmadge. And William 
Curtis Noyes married his favorite daughter, 
and while the spotless Noyes walks the velvet 
earth, and his father-in-law is Chief of Police, 
all will go well. Wm. Curtis Noyes is one of 
the ablest jurists of our country, and Washing- 
ton himself had no purer, nor warmer, nor 
more patriotic heart. We selected Mr. Noyes 
as our counsel against little Georgy Matsell, 
when arraigned before the Police Commis- 
sioners, and to his ability and fidelity are 
New Yorkers profoundly indebted for the 
downfall of Matsell, and the worst and most 
formidable banditti that ever scourged the 
Western Continent. Beware, then, Cooper 
Tiemann, Gerard and Kingsland, and other 
trembling conspirators, or we will make you 
howl, and open the gates of Tartarus, and set 
a million dogs and devils at your heels, and 
when they bite, may God have mercy on your 
poor old bones. Beware, or we will harrow 
your superannuated souls into the realms 
of Pluto, where Robert le Biahle will grab 
and burn you in liquid brimstone, through 
exhaustless years. Beware of those forty 
pages yet behind. 0, beware, we implore you, 
in the name of your wives and children, and 
your God ! Beware of Matsell and his gang, 
as the big and little demons of these wicked 
times. 

Advents and Public Plunderers. 

Richard B. Connolly, the County Clerk, was 
born in Bandon, Ireland, and arrived in Phil- 
adelphia twenty-five years since, (as his glib, 
and slippery, and truthful tongue assever- 
ates,) and thence immigrated to our metropo- 
lis. He became Simeon Draper's Friday clerk, 
who taught him the politician's creed of plun- 
der, and has ever used him as a spy in the de- 
mocratic legions. Draper got him in the Cus- 
toms, and kept him there through several 



Administrations. Draper and Connolly 
long controlled the Ten Governors, and do 
now. Draper has been in all camps, and Con- 
nolly has figured in democratic conventions, 
primary and legal, of all stripes and checks, 
through which he acquired the immortal 
name of Slippery. Dick is an alien, and of 
fered us between the pillars of Plunder Hall a 
lucrative position in the office of County 
Clerk, and also proposed to play Judas against 
Matsell, if we would not expose his perjured 
alienage. We had three interviews, when we 
assured him that we despised both treason 
and traitor. He then got Alderman John 
Kelly to read a letter in the Board of Alder- 
men, declaring that he was naturalized in In- 
dependence Hall, Philadelphia, whither w< 
repaired, and got certificates from the clerks, 
declaring that he was never naturalized in 
Philadelphia, which we published in the New 
York Daily Times. In his Aldermanic letter, 
he declared that his document of naturaliza- 
tion was framed, which he regarded as his 
most valuable piece of furniture, and cor- 
dially invited his friends and the incredulous 
to call and behold its graceful decoration of 
his parlor. The gallant Alderman John H. 
Briggs, (the Putnam of the Americans, who 
braved and defied all the thieves, and murder- 
ers, and demons of hell in the Matsell cam- 
paign,) called to see Dick's valuable gem of 
furniture, but he could not find it on the wall, 
nor elsewhere. We then called, and Dick's 
wife told us it was locked in a trunk, and her 
husband had the key. Others called, with 
similar success. On his election as County 
Clerk, Dick and Draper got a law enacted at 
Albany, giving the County Clerk $50,000 fees, 
which was just so much stolen from the peo- 
ple, whom the Municipal, State and National 
robbers will not let live, but strive to rob' 
the:n of their last crumb, and drive them into 
the winter air. Public plunder is devoted to 
greasing the political wheels, and burnishing, 
and twitching the mysterious wires, through 
which the honest laborer is burdened with 
taxes, that mangle his back like the last 
feather of the expiring camel. Connolly, Bus- 
teed, Doane, Wetraore, Nathan, Nelson, 
Draper, and Weed, got the Record Commis- 
sioners appointed, through which $550,000 
have been squandered for printing the useless 
County Clerk and Register's Records, which is 
the boldest robbery of modern times. We 
never could induce Greeley, Bryant, Webb's 
Secretary, the Halls, and others, to breathe a 
word against this Dev-lin-ish plunder. And 
Flagg, himself, through his old printing friends, 
Bowne & Hasbrouck, and others, is involv- 



2 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



ed in this record robbery up to his chin, 
who never uttered a syllable against it, until 
we goaded him through our crimson dissec- 
ti hi in the Daily Time*, and even then he 
only damned it with lago praise. Since July 
last", Flagg has paid more than $300,000 for 
Record printing, for which, old as he is, he 
should be consigned to a sunless dungeon, and 
rot there, with spiders only for his nurses and 
mourners. La^t summer Flagg told us there 
never was a more wicked band of robbers 
than the Record Commissioners, and yet he 
paid them from July to December the prodig- 
ious sum of over $300,000, and had paid 
them more than $200,000. And Flagg 
paid this enormous sum without a murmur, 
and has no possible facility to place the infamy 
on the scapegoat Smith, who seems to roam 
at large unmolested by Flagg, who yet fears 
Smith's disclosures of his delinquency and 
superannuation. Flagg sputters a little in his 
reports, for show, against him, but he is not 
chasing Smith very hotly in the Courts, nor 
dare he, as we have good reason to believe. 
Through the Alms House, Navy Yard, County 
Clerks' Office, Record Commissioners, metro- 
politan and suburban lots, and other plunder- 
ing sources, Connolly has amassed a fortune 
of nearly a million of dollars, and now lias the 
audacity to proclaim himself a candidate for 
Comptroller, at which the honorable citizens 
of New York should rise and paralyse his in- 
famous effrontery. Not content with indo- 
lence all his days, — with robbing the laborer 
and mechanic, and merchant, and widow, and 
orphan, for whom he professes such boundless 
love, through his spurious and mercenary de- 
mocracy, — with corrupting the ballot box, and 
packing juries, to imprison and hang us ac- 
cording to his caprice and public or private in- 
terest, — with the election of Mayors and other 
municipal and even State and National offi- 
cers, through his fraudulent canvass of votes 
as County Clerk, — and with his awful perjury 
in connection with his alienage, he now ap- 
pears with his stolen money bags, and^pro- 
claims himself a candidate for Comptroller, 
for which he should be lashed, and scourged, 
and probed to his marrow bones, through the 
streets of New York, beneath the glare of 
the meridian sun, and the gaze and withering 
scorn of every honorable and industrious citi- 
zen, whom he has robbed, through intolera- 
ble taxation. Connolly has not voted since 
we exposed his perjured alienage in 1855, 
when he strove to bribe us to shield him from 
the odium arising from his alienage. A public 
thief, and perjurer, and alien, this man or 
devil announces himself for Comptroller of 
this mighty metropolis, with a prospect of 
nomination and election, unless his throat is 
cut by George II. Purser, a deeper and more 
dangerous public villain than Connolly. Pur- 
ser has robbed this city for a quarter of a cen- 
tury, and is also an unnaturalised alien, and 
we have positive evidence of the fact, and he 
.knows it. His corrupt lobby operations in 
the Common Council and at Albany would 
make a large volume. And both Connolly and 
Purser are nauseous scabs of the Democratic 
party, and grossly pollute the glorious prin- 
ciples of Jefferson and Jackson. And now, 
where, in the name of God, are the people, 
or is there no spirit and integrity, and patriot- 
ism, and courage, to resist the infernal public 
thieves of this vandal age ? Should the people 
slumber when a gang of robbers, and devils, 
and assassins, and fiends of rapine, are thun- 
dering at the gates of the commercial empo- 
rium, and even at the very doors and firesides 
of our sacred domestic castles, and daily and 
hourly rob our coffers, and ravish our daugh- 
ters, and cut our throats, in open day, and 
through their hellish robbery, and taxation, 
drive the mechanic and laborer, and their 
dear little ones, to hunger, and rags, and mad- 
ness, and crime, and to the dungeon, or scaf- 



fold, or suicide? Where is the concert of ac 
tion of Boston and Providence, and through- 
out New England ? And where are the po- 
matum villains of our aristocratic avenues, in 
this solemn hour? They are in league with 
your Greeleys, and Bryants, and Webbs, and 
Wetmores, and Drapers, and Connollys, and 
Pursers, and Devlins, and Smiths, and Erbens, 
devising schemes to plunder the people here, 
at Albany and Washington, for gilded means to 
support themselves in idleness and extrava- 
gance, and to carry the elections against the 
gallant Southrons, whose throats they would 
cut from ear to ear, and deluge this whole 
land with human blood, ere they would toil 
a solitary day like the honest laborer or me- 
chanic, or surrender a farthing of their ungod- 
ly plunder, or breathe a syllable in favor of 
the eternal glory of the Union of Washington. 



>ttj!{rtit f . §raiujfs JJliptffr. 



NEW TOEK, SATTTRDAY, MAY 15, 1858: 



The Mayor and Charley. 

Charley — That you have wronged me doth 
appear in this : You have condemned and 
noted the devil for taking bribes of the office 
holders and contractors, wherein my letters 
praying on his side, because I knew the man, 
were slighted oft'. 

Mayor — You knew better than to pray for 
the devil. 

Charley — I can get no fat meat nor oyster 
stews, if every devil is condemned. 

Mayor — Let mo tell you, Charley, that you, 
yourself, should be condemned for itching to 
sell your offices and contracts for gold to a 
gang of devils. 

Charley — I got the itch ! You know that 
you are great Peter's son, or, by golly, you 
would not say so twice. 

Mayor — The name of Itch or Scratch honor 
this corruption, and by the Eternal, if Hickory 
dont hide his head at the Hermitage. 

Charley — Hickory ! 

Mayor — Remember November, — the hides 
ot November, O remember. Did not great 
Fernando bleed for me and Peter and Edward's 
sake ? Who touched his carcase, and did stab, 
and not for me and Peter and young Edward ? 
What! Shall thoy who struck the foremost 
man of all this city, but for supporting rob- 
bers, — shall we now use our fingers, save to 
grab the Mayor's and all the Executive De- 
partments ? By all the bellonas and dough- 
nuts of the world, I'd rather be a hog and 
grow as fat as Matsell, than to be a cadaver- 
ous crow, and live on vultures, and the 
shadows of the moon. 

Charley — Daniel : I'll slap your chops. I'll 
not stand it. You forget yourself to pen me 
in. I'm a contractor, I, older in practice, and 
sharper than yourself to make contracts. 

Mayor — Go to : You are not, Charley. 

Charley — Dam if I aint. 

Mayor — I say you are not. 

Charley — How dare you so excite my dan- 
der? Look out for your dimes. I had a father, 
and I was a baker. 

Mayor — Away spare man. 

Charley — Toads and frogs ! Am I Charley, 
or am I not. Where's the looking glass ? 

Mayor — Hear me, for I'm dam'd if I dont 
belch. Must my bowels yield to your cholera ? 
Shall I be frightened because the diarrhoea 
looks knives and scorpions through the win- 
dows of your liver ? 

Charley — O, me. Must I stand this ? O that 
I had a dough knife, to let out my honest 
blood. 

Mayor — -This ? ay, and a dam lot more. 
Growl till your liver bursts. Go and tell your 
contractors and office-holders, how hard you 
have got the diarrhoea, and make them trem- 



ble, lest you kick the bucket, and they get 
fleeced. Must I gouge ? Must I lick you. Ur 
must I get between your duck legs ? By all 
the mush and Graham bread in the coat and 
boots and belly of Horace, you shall digest all 
the grub and gin you have gulched to-day, 
though it do split your spleen and kidneys. 
And henceforth I'll use you as a brush and 
ladder for Peter and Edward and myself, to 
sweep the streets, and scale the gilded heights 
of Record Hall, at whose prolific and teeming 
hive we will suck your honey like bumble 
bees. 

Charley — O, where am I ? 

Mayor — In a dam tight place. You say you 
are a better contractor. Prove it. Make your 
braggadocio true, and I'll not grumble. There 
may be better contractors than me, but dam 
if I believe you are, though. 

Charley — O gingerbread ! You gouge me 
every second, Daniel. I said an older con- 
tractor, not a better. I know you can make 
better contracts than me, in paint and oil and 
glass and putty, hut I'm some on ginger-nuts 
and doughnuts, aad affy-davy's, and street 
openings. Did I say better ? 

Mayor — I dont care a dam if you did. 

Charley — If the devil were here, you would 
not dare talk thus. 

Mayor — The devil is hard by, and you fear 
his claws, and dare not oppose his will. 

Charley — Dare not ? 

Mayor — No. 

Charley — What! dare not oppose the devil? 

Mayor — What I have said, I have said. 

Charley — If you trifle too much with my 
liver, dam me if I don't kick you, and give 
you a black eye. 

Mayoi — I dare you to try it. I scout your 
threats, Charley, for I'm fortified so strongly 
through my supposed integrity, that they pass 
by me like incarcerated wind, which I can re- 
sist with a penny fan, or potato popgun. I 
did send to you for the legitimate keys of the 
Street Commissioner, which you refused me, 
for I despise false keys. By Juno, I would sell 
all the paint, and oil, and glass, and putty in 
my factory to the city, at a good price, before I 
would use false keys, or bamboozle the dear 
people, who think me so honest, and love me 
so intensely. I sent to you for the keys of 
Peter and Edward, which you denied me. 
Did not Charley err in that ? Would I have 
treated Charley so ? When Daniel is so mean 
as to refuse the keys of Blackwell's Island to 
his Charley, be ready, Branch, with all your 
bombs, and dash out his honest and tender 
brains. 

Charley — I denied you not. It's a dam lie. 

Mayoi — I swear you did. 

Charley — I did not. I gave the keys to the 
Turn-key, and told him to bring them to you. 
O! Daniel hath rent my liver, who should 
overlook my trivial faults, and not magnify 
them so hugely. 

Mayor — I do, until you exaggerate my lit- 
tle peccadillos. 

Charley— Daniel hates me. 

Mayor — I dislike your didos. 

Charley — None but an owl could discern 
my tricks. 

Mayor — An alligator would not, unless he 
were hungry, and Charley was in a tree. 

Charley — Come, Whiting, and young Con- 
over, come, and revenge yourselves on Char- 
ley, who is weary of this wicked world. 
Hooted by the people, and braved by a Mayor, 
and checked like a forger, and all his thefts 
detected, and found in a note-book, and reci- 
ted and sung by rote, and thrown into my very 
jaws — O ! I could cry like a crocodile, until 
my eyes were balls of blood and fire. There's 
my keys, and razor, and scissors, and here's 
my yearning belly. Within, a liver, and blad- 
der, and frogs, and kidneys, and tripe, and 
sausages, tenderer than my heart, itself, which 
nought but worms can ever conquer. If thou 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



3 



are not a bogus Mayor, or cunning spoilsman, 
apply tliy scissors, and pluck them out, and 
appease thy insatiate palate. I, that denied 
thee keys, will yield my entrails. Strike, as 
thou didst at poor Branch's claim, for I do 
know, that when thou didst hate him worst, 
thou lov'dst him better than ever thou didst 
Charley. 

Mayor — Sheathe your scissors. Be was- 
pish when you please, — you shall have sea- 
room. Be tricky when you will, — I'll call it 
fun. O Charley ! Ton are like Father Peter, 
who carries lightning as a withered limb 
bears fire, — who, tightly squeezed, shows a 
hasty flash, and straight is coal again. 

Charley — Hath Charley toiled, and sweat, 
and- groaned, and grunted all his days, to be 
the scoff and derision of his Daniel, when 
clouds and sorrows fret him ? 

Mayor — When I derided the honest Char- 
ley, I had the dyspepsia most horribly, with a 
touch of Peter's chronic piles. 

Charley — ginger-snaps ! Do you acknow- 
ledge so much corn ? Give me yonr fist. 

Mayor — Take it, with its nails and knuckles. 

Charley — O, Daniel ! 

Mayor — What's the matter, Charley ? 

Charley — I hear the echo clank of a cul- 
prit's chains, and I almost feel the hangman's 
halter round my neck. And have you not 
gizzard enough to forgive me, when that rash 
humor which the people gave me, makes me 
savage and forgetful ? 

Mayor — Yes, Charley, and henceforth, 
when you are over-savage with your Daniel, 
and refuse the keys to gilded treasure, and 
strive to rob his brother Edward, and Father 
Peter of a million spoils, he'll say that only 

Horace can deride, 
And black people chide, 
And he'll let you slide 
Down the rapid tide 
Into the grassy dell, 
Near the borders of— — 
Where the first sinners felt, 
And where contractors dwell, 
And all who truth do sell, 
So, Charley, fare thee well. 

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by 

STEPHEN H. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H Branch. 

With John, James, and Wesley Harper's per- 
mission, I returned to Providence, and went 
with Smith & Parmenter, who published the 
" Literary Cadet and Rhode Island States- 
man" whose editor was the handsome and 
talented Sylvester S. Southworth, now editor 
of the " New Fork Mercury." Samuel J. 
Smith courted Miss McBride, a beautiful ac- 
tress, who extended her hand behind her for 
sewing silk, when her sister penetrated and 
broke a needle in the palm or rear of her 
hand, and she died in two days of lockjaw. I 
attended her funeral, and so piercing were her 
lover's cries, and so mournful was the general 
scene, that I had to join the mighty throng in 
the universal lamentation. After the coffin was 
lowered, and the first spade of earth imparted 
its thrilling reverberation, he became frantic, 
and leaped into the grave, and strove to re- 
move the lid, amid the horror of the vast as- 
semblage. In those early years, as now, I was 
extremely susceptible, and as nature's even- 
ing mantle was closing its sombre folds around 
us, — and, as the extraordinary spectacle of the 
enthusiastic lover had thrilled and chilled me 
to the soul, I departed for my abode, amid the 
overwhelming cries of a desolate man, who 
soon sold his interest in the " Statesman" and 
published the " News" which;, was the first 
Sunday journal established in New York. I 
went with John Miller, of the Providence Jour- 
nal, with Hugh Brown, who printed the Pro- 
vidence Directory — with Mr. Congdon, of New 
Bedford, — with Beales & Homer, of the Bos- 



ton Gazette, — with Mr. Eldridge, of the Ham- 
den Whig, of Springfield, — with John Russell, 
of the Hartford Times, — with Charles King, of 
the New York American, whose publisher was 
D. K. Minor, — with Michael Burnham, of the 
New York Evening Post, whose editors were 
William Cullen Bryant and William Leggett, 
whose fervent nature and jovial risibles I can 
never forget, — with Thomas Kite, a stingy 
Quaker, of Philadelphia, who would not pay 
me for the fat matter, and when he became so 
bold as to plunder .the title and two blank 
pages, I pulled off his wig, and run for my 
life, with Tommy after me, but my fleetness 
vanquished, and I kept his wig, — with Francis 
Preston Blair, of the Washington Qlobe, whose 
publisher was Win. Greer. I now learned of 
the sudden death of Charles Manton, of Prov- 
idence, whom I had most fondly loved since 
rosy childhood, whose demise cast a gloom 
over my heart which has never been effaced. 
I left Washington for Philadelphia in 1830, 
and took a room with Edward Dodge, with 
whom I had been a schoolmate in Providence, 
and who is now a distinguished banker of 
Wall street, with whose recent misfortunes 
I strongly sympathize. I now receive a let- 
ter from father, requesting my immediate re- 
turn to Providence, and on my arrival, he in- 
troduced me to James Fenner, the Governor 
of Rhode Island, and to Gen. Edward J. Mal- 
lett, the Postmaster of Providence, who mar- 
ried Gov. Fenner's daughter. I became a 
clerk in the Post-office, at $400 per annum. 
[Gen. Maliett's second wife was a widow of 
the affluent Haight family, of this city, and he 
was the President of the St. Nicholas Bank.— 
He has just been appointed by President Bu- 
chanan, Commercial Agent to Florence, 
where he will probably die, as he is tottering 
in the bleak evening of life.] I had borrowed 
money from Israel Post, of New York, before 
I went to Washington, and when he learned 
that I was a clerk in the Post-office, he de- 
manded payment, and threatened to write to 
Gen. Mallett, if I did not immediately cancel 
his claim. I wrote him that I would pay him 
from my salary. He replied, that he would 
not wait. His letters were exciting, and fear- 
ing he would write an extravagant letter to 
Gen. Mallett, and perhaps effect my dismissal, 
I took the money from the till, and inclosed it 
in a letter, and as I was about to seal and mail 
it, Captain Bunker's admonitions, and my fa- 
ther's kindness in procuring my clerkship, and 
my horror of a thief, caused me to forbear, 
amid tears of joy at my victory over the de- 
mon of dishonor. Although this transpired 
in the Post-office at midnight, and although I 
boarded near the Post-office, which was a 
mile from father's, yet I went home, against a 
winter's tempest, and aroused him from his 
slumber, and told him of the horrors of my 
position. He stood before me in robes of 
whiteness, like a Roman statue, and when I 
told him that I had taken and instantly re- 
stored the money to the till, big drops rolled 
from his cavern eyes in exhaustless profusion, 
and after pacing the room in utter silence, he 
halted and said : — " Stephen, my dear son, in 
early years, you were dishonest, and I feared 
you were so now. But your firmness and in- 
tegrity on this occasion, gladden my heart 
more than I can evince in language. It is 
midnight, and a storm rages with terrific fury, 
and I hope you will remain at home to-night, 
and in the morning you shall have the means 
to cancel the claim of Mr. Post. Take the lamp 
and retire, Stephen, and you will go to your 
repose with my most fervent blessing." And 
as I was about to go, with his hand upon 
the latch, he gazed, and lingered, and hesita- 
ted, and advanced and embraced me as never 
before, and while he kissed my forehead, his 
copious and burning tears rolled down my 
pallid cheeks. We parted in silence, as neither 



could speak. I arose early, and went to the 
Post-otfice, and before meridian, father gave 
mo i,W- mum-}-, which I sent to .Mr. Post, 
which made me the happiest being in Provi- 
dence. The students of Brown University 
daily came for letters, with some of whom I 
formed the warmest friendship, and I soon 
discovered my superficiality through their sn- 
perior intelligence, and I resolved to emerge 
from the ignorance and superstition that be- 
clouded my intellect, and made me unhappy. 
I studied Greek and Latin very hard during 
my leisure hours, and recited to Hartshorn, 
Farnsworth, and Gay, and made rapid ad- 
vances. The clerks became jealous soon after 
I embarked in my intellectual enterprise, and 
strove to prejudice Gen. Mallett against me, 
assuring him that I did not come to the office 
early in the morning, and let them go to 
breakfast, although I hastened to the office 
immediately after I closed my morning meal, 
and sometimes without it, to please the clerks. 
They also told him that I studied during office 
hours, and negleeted those who called for let- 
ters. Gen. Mallett believed their fallacious 
accusations, and often severely denounced me, 
and I left the Post-office, with the approbation 
of my father, and began the study of law 
with Gen. Thomas F. Carpenter, one of the 
most eminent lawyers of Rhode Island, and a 
man of noble nature. Gea. Mallett soon re- 
quested me to return, by direction of Gov. 
Fenner, who was the constant personal and 
political friend of my father more than forty 
years. I returned, but the clerks again con- 
spired, and apparently gave Mallett no peace 
— although I learned that Mallett himself, if 
not their instigator, was, at least, their fellow 
conspirator, which aroused a hundred tigers 
in my breast. The clerks adduced another 
batch of colored charges, and Mallett belched 
a scathing phillippic, when I sprang like a 
panther at his throat, and gently squeezed and 
hugged him like a bear, until he showed his 
lying and vituperating tongue, and rolled his 
phrenzied eyes, when he made a superhuman 
effort, and eluded my nails and fingers, and 
fled into his private office, whither I pursued 
him. My father was in the printing office of 
Wm. Simons on the floor above, and hearing 
my blows and awful anathema of Mallett, and 
scratches, and gouges, and wild cat screeches 
and echos, he rushed down stairs, and into the 
private office of Mallett, and locked the door, 
and put the key in his pocket, to coneeal us 
from the public gaze ; and after a desperate 
conflict, he dragged me from Mallett, who 
then seized the poker, and run behind the 
stove and wood and coal box. While father 
held, and strove to calm me, Mallett feared I 
would got loose, and suspended one leg from 
the window, and asked father if he had not 
better leap to the ground. Father told him 
that he might break his neck or legs, and that 
he would strive to hold me until my anger was 
allayed. My eyes glared like Forrest's in one 
of his terrible revenges, and my tongue pro- 
jected, and mouth foamed, and my cheeks and 
lips were of deathly pallor, and I had the 
strength of a small panther, and father ex- 
claimed : " Why, Stephen, don't you know 
me ? I am your father, — and won't you recog- 
nise me, and heed my friendly counsel ? It 
is the familiar voice of your father that ap-. 
peals for your restoration to serenity. Do, I 
implore you, tranquilise your nerves, and ap- 
pease your fearful wrath, and allay your dead- 
ly fury, and gratify your aged father, who 
always loved you." I faltered and gazed 
around, and as my wild and fatal eye balls 
rested on Mallett, he again cries out: "Judge 
Branch : Don't you really think I had better 
jump ont of the window?" Father said: 
" No, I guess not. Stephen will soon abjure 
his dreadful anger, and be himself again." He 
then bathed my temples, and stroked my curly 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



hair and fanned my fevered cheeks, and I slow- 
ly emerged from my protracted aberration, 
and took a seat, and father unlocked thejloor, 
and Mallett darted out like a cat from IrRlark 
closet, and scaled the stairs with a solitary 
stride, and I returned home with father. Gov. 
Fenner truly loved me, and deeply regretted 
the sad intelligence of the quarrel, and on the 
following day insisted on my immediate re- 
turn to the Post Office, and threatened to kick 
Mallett and all the clerks into the street, 
because they had long plotted such infamous 
mischief to get mo out of the office, and to 
effect, if possible, my earthly ruin. I sincerely 
thanked the Governor for his friendly feel- 
ings, and assured him that I could not return 
and dwell with happiness among such a gang 
of miserable wretches, when he honored me 
■with an elegant donation, and expressed the 
warmest desire for my future welfare. Gov. 
Fenner told me, in the presence of my father, 
that he would request Gen. Jackson to remove 
his son-in-law as Post Master, if he did not 
instantly hurl every clerk into the street, who 
had conspired against me. But my father and 
myself besought the noble Governor to com- 
mit no rashness, as it would be impossible to 
conduct the affairs of the Post Office, in the 
sudden absence of all the experienced clerks. 
I then shook the Governor's throbbing hands, 
and, as we parted, I am quite sure I saw a tear 
fall from his venerable and intellectual eyes, 
and I know that grateful and hallowed waters 
fell like equator rain from my pensive vision. 
I left for Andover, and entered Phillips' Acad- 
emy, in the Greek and Latin classes, where 
I formed a devoted friendship with Win. Au- 
gustus White, who was a poor youth, and 
a beneficiary of the Education Society, and 
who is now an Episcopal minister in Mary- 
land. I left Andover for Boston, and caught 
the itch from a filthy bed at a hotel in Wash- 
ington street. I went to Cambridge, and en- 
tered the law school of Judge Story and Pro- 
fessor Greenleaf. A law student from Provi- 
dence asked me to gamble, and I won about 
$20 in cash, and he denounced me, because I 
would not gamble with him after he had lost 
all he had, and owed me $50. I told him that 
persons seldom paid gambling debts, and I 
could not stake cash against credit in a game 
of cards. I also told him that I would return 
the $20 I had won, and give him the $50 he 
owed me, if he would never ask me to gam- 
ble, when he flew into a fearful passion, and 
said I grossly insulted him. He strove to irri- 
tate me to blows, and I anticipated a scuffle, 
but lie did not dare strike me, as he doubtless 
saw fatality and a pale sepulchre in my eyes. 
We had known each other nearly all our days, 
but dice and cards separated us for ever, and 
he is in the grave. News arrived at Cam- 
bridge of the great fire of 1835, and I went to 
New York, to see my brothers, and the deso- 
lation, and proceeded to Philadelphia, but my 
itch increased, and I returned with forced 
cars to Cambridge, and consulted Dr. Plymp- 
ton, who gave me ointment, which I applied, 
and the itch suddenly disappeared, and com- 
mingled with my blood, and raised Beelzebub 
with my emotions. I felt cold, and made a 
rousing fire, and went to bed, and had a vio- 
lent perspiration, and out popped the itch 
again like a porpoise, and made me scratch so 
hard and incessantly, that I could not sleep 
of nights, and I was in a horrible predica- 
ment, and I got alarmed, and went to Provi- 
dence, and immediately to bed, as my physi- 
cal energies were utterly exhausted, from loss 
of rest, and from my eternal scratching, and 
off I went into a thundering snore. My 
brother William arrived from New York dur- 
ing the night, and got into my bed, and I slept 
so soundly that he vainly strove to awake me. 
I told him in the morning that I had the itch, 
and he laughed heartily, and I tried to join 



him, but I could not. He soon returned to 
New York, and I to Cambridge, and in about 
a month, lie wrote me that he had got the 
itch, and asked me what he should do to cure 
it. I told him to apply itch ointment exter- 
nally, and to gently scratch the developments, 
or they would increase like fury, or a snow 
ball. He then wrote me that itch pimples 
had appeared between his fingers, and on the 
back of his hands, and desired to know what 
to do to screen them, or cure them quickly, 
and spare the mortification. I told him to 
wear gloves or mittens constantly as I did, 
and to pretend that he was learning the art 
of self-defence, and went to a boxing school 
so often that it began to seem natural to wear 
gloves or mittens without cessation, or through 
absence of mind. Brother Bill never troubled 
me again about his itch, and I was glad, as I 
did not like to commune of itch, even through 
correspondence with a brother, as my own 
itch required my unremitting attention. The 
students often asked me why I scratched my 
legs and back so much, and why I always had 
pimples in the rear of my hands, and between 
my fingers, and on my knuckles, and why I 
wore boxing gloves so much. I toid them that 
I had the salt rheum that my dear mother 
gave me. I went to Andover, in a sleigh, 
with a student named Terry, who had a sweet- 
heart in the suburbs of the town, with whom 
he lingered until late in the evening. On our 
return to Cambridge, we got lost in the woods, 
at midnight, and came near freezing. In our 
emergence from the forest, and while sharply 
turning a corner of the country road, we up- 
set, and both were thrown with great vio- 
lence, on the uneven snow and ice. Terry 
fell on his prominent, though handsome nose. 
The night was dark, and his hands were numb, 
and on applying his fingers to his nose, he 
could not feel it, and thought it had frozen, 
and broken, and gone, as blood flowed freely 
from where his nose ought to be, and once 
was, and in abject despair, (for Terry dearly 
loved his nose,) he exclaimed: "Branch! 
where are you ?" " I am here." " Well, do 
come here, for the Lord's sake." " What's 
the matter, Terry ?" " Branch, can you see 
my nose ?" " No. It is so dark, I cannot see 
you. Where are you, Terry V " Here." We 
then found each other, and he besought me, 
in touching accents, to feel for his nose, 
and I did, and told him that I feared 
his nose was gone, as I could not 
feel it, nor could I, because my arms 
and fingers were so numb. Poor Terry 
wept bitterly, while I laughed into smoth- 
ered hysterics. We got into the sleigh, 
and off we went towards Cambridge, with 
Terry moaning over the loss of his nose, and 
I laughing through the disguise of a cough or 
sneeze. On our arrival at Ins College room, I 
struck a match, and Terry rushed for the glass, 
and lo ! his mangled nose was there, gleaming 
and streaming with icicles of blood, and the 
pale liquid of nature. He made a fire, and 
bathed his wounds, and melted his nosy icicles, 
and jumped and hopped and leaped with un- 
wonted ecstacy. The previous cold and sud- 
den heat of Terry's fire irritated my itch, and 
I wanted to scratch my pimples, but dared not 
in Terry's presence, and I put on my coat to go 
to my college apartment, to bathe my body 
with itch ointment. But Terry wanted me to 
sleep with him. He had a large feather bed, 
and the fire was blazing, and I was sure I 
would get into a perspiration, and give him 
the itch if I slept with him. So I declined. 
But he insisted, and locked the room, and hid 
the key. What to do I did not know. I dared 
not tell him I had the itch, but told him that 
I must go to my room, and get my lessons for 
the morrow, to which he would not listen. 
I had not applied ointment for fifteen hours, 
and I was anxious to do so that night, and 



made a warm appeal to Terry to unlock the 
door, but he would not. He then made some 
warm punch, and displayed his crackers, 
cheese, apples, cake, and segars, and firmly 
declared that if I did not sleep with him, he 
would never speak to me again. So I had to 
stop, and we went to bed, when he proposed 
to snuggle up a little before we went to sleep, 
and I had to let him do it. But the cold 
had made him sleepy, and he soon turned over, 
and away he departed in a roaring sleep, to 
my infinite delight, as the punch and crack- 
ling fire had caused my pimples to itch horri- 
bly for two hours, and I could only slyly and 
gently scratch them while he was awake. So 
I went at them with my long nails, which I 
had cultivated for scratching, and I soon made 
the pimples smart and bleed instead of itch, 
which afforded me the same relief that an eel 
obtains in his desperate leap from the pan into 
the lurid coals. The college bell aroused Terry 
early, but not me, as I was already aroused, 
not having closed my eyes, though I pretend- 
ed (out of compliment to Terry's nice punch 
and feather bed,) to have had the most de- 
lightful repose. So we arose, and clad our- 
selves, and combed our hair, and brushed our 
teeth, and Terry let me out, and I departed 
for a two hour's communion with itch oint- 
ment. In about three weeks, while Terry was 
telling a most comical story to myself and some 
students in his room, he suddenly stopped, 
and made a desperate grab at the calf of his 
left leg, which he scratched like a cross and 
sick hen, in pursuit of food for her hungry 
chickens, until I thought he would tear his 
pantaloons. Terry scratched so hard and long 
that he excited one of the students, who begun 
to scratch his head, and asked him if he ever 
discovered fleas in his room. Terry looked in- 
dignant, and ceased scratching, and continued 
his story. Presently he made a lunge for 
the other leg, higher up. The students stared 
at Terry, and looked extremely solicitous to- 
wards each other, and two left very suddenly. 
Terry closed his story, and the other students 
left, leaving myself and Terry, who hauled up 
his pantaloons, and exclaimed : " Why, 
Branch, I think I must have fleas, for, good 
God, just look at my legs, they are covered 
with pimples, and they itch most awfully." 
I inquired if a dog had been in his room re- 
cently, to which he negatively responded. I 
then said : " Perhaps you have not got fleas, 
but the itch." He instantly straightened him- 
self, and looking me dead in the eye, said : 
" Branch : If 1 had the itch, I think I would 
commit suicide." I replied : " That would be 

(To be continued to our last groan.) 



The following meritorious gentlemen are 
wholesale agents for the Alligator. 

Ross&Tousey, 121 Nassau street. 
Hamilton & Johnson, 22 Ann street. 
Samuel Yates, 22 Beekman street. 
Mike Madden, 21 Ann street. 
Cauldwell & Long, 23 Ann street. 
Boyle & Whalen, 32 Ann street and 
Bell & Hendrickson, 25 Ann street. 



Advertisements— One Dollar a line 

IN ADVANCE. 

THERE IS SOMETHING MTSTEKI0U3 

IN THS 

PICAYUNE. 
You are 9incerely warned not to look at THB PICAYUNE. 
AVOID THE PICAYUNE ! 

SHUN THE PICAYUNE 1 
Or if you must have it, STEAL it. 



PC. GUUKRISY, STATIOXBR, llcmiiSKI,- 
. LER and General Newsdealer, 834 Broadway, 
New York, near 13th street. 
At Godfrey's— Novals, Books, &c, all the n»w oDes cheap. 
At Godfrey's — Magazines, Fancy Articles, Ac, cheap. 
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At Godfrey's— All the Daily and Weekly Papers. 
At Godfrey's — Visiting Cards Printed at 75 cents per pacls. 
At Godfrey's — Ladies Fashion Books of latest date. 



EXCELSIOR rRINT, 211 CENTllB-ST., N. Y. 




X IT If- 

AJUJU 



*^As %JrsM%<* 



Volume I.— No. 5.] 



SATURDAY, MAY 22, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S57, by 

STEPHEN II. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H Branch. 

very silly, as ointment will soon cure it." He 
said: "1 knew a man who applied ointment 
five years, and his itch got worse every year." 
This was a bomb that quickened my pulsa- 
tion. I then said : " Perhaps you have got 
the salt rheum, and I advise you to consult 
Dr. Plympton immediately." He said : "I'll 
go now, and I want you to go with me." As 
Plympton was the Superintendent of my itch, 
I did not know what response to make. But 
as he might he absent, or if at home, deter- 
mined to remain without while Terry went in, 
I at length said: "Well, I will go with you," 
and over we went to the Doctor's, who, to 
my great joy, was not in. I then told Terry that 
I must go to my room, and get my lessons, but 
that he must remain until Dr. Plympton re- 
turned, and he said he would. Terry rushed 
into my room in about an hour, a shade paler 
than a ghost, and exclaimed : — " Branch! the 
Doctor says that I must have caught the itch 
from you, as it is precisely like yours." If a 
cannon ball had entered the window, it could 
not have thrilled my frame like the disclos- 
ures of Plympton, which I regarded as safe 
with him as myself. But the old cat was out, 
and I had to face her sharp claws. So I told 
poor Terry the whole story, and that if he 
had not locked the door, and forced me to 
sleep with him, he would not have caught the 
itch. lie mildly eluded .me for not disclosing 
that I had the itch, as, if I had, he certainly 
would have unlocked the door with much 
pleasure, and let rue out. But he forgave me, 
and asked me to room with him, so that we 
could apply the itch oiutment together, be- 
fore the same fire, and talk the matter over, 
and compare symptoms, and sympathize with 
each other, and eat and sleep together with 
impunity, and read distinguished itch authors, 
and go to Dr. Plympton's together, until we 
got cured. I told Terry that if we did all that, 
we would so thoroughly innocculate eacli other 
with the itch, that all the doctors of the globe 
could not wrench it from our blood, and that 
we would transmit the itch to our posterity 
for ten thousand years, and then it would not 
be entirely out of the system. Terry looked 
amazed, and said he felt faint, and eu'lled for 
giu and water, and stared like an 

Egyptian Daddy, 

Or Tiemann Granny, 

Or Peter Mummy, 

Or Edward Sonny, 

Borne five thousand years old, 

Whose wills were never sold, 



Nor their offices for gold. 
As we oft have been told ; 1 
Who loved their constituents 
Far better than stimulants, 
Or their sons and brothers, 
And a good many others. 
0, fiddle-de-dee, 
Ye Coopers three, 
You'll not cheat m«, 
No, sirs-ree, 
While I'm free, 
As you'll see ! t3F~ 

And Terry said he hoped I would excuse him, 
as he felt nervous, and would like to go to 
bed, and I bade him good night, and went to 
see Plympton, and assured him that if he told 
the students I had the itch, it would mortify 
my feelings, and spread, and terrify all Cam- 
bridge, and I might be mobbed, and he most 
solemnly vowed that he would make no fur- 
ther disclosures. And I returned to the Col- 
lege, and saturated my body with ointment, 
and retired, and sweat, and scratched all 
night, and did not close my weary eyes until 
the Cambridge rooster crowed. 

(To be continued to our last loan.) 

Let the Firemen Stand to their Guns ! 

And Nerer Surrender their Glorious Vol- 
unteer System to the Corrupt Politicians, 
and with it their Widows' and Orphans' 1 
Fund. * 

We wrote and published the following doc- 
ument in the New York Herald one year be- 
fore we opened our batteries against George 
W. Matsell's alienage. But it is more appro- 
priate now than in 1 85-t, as the enthusiastic 
champions of a Paid Fire Department are in- 
closing and about to overwhelm the adversa- 
ries of that fatal system, like the allied armies 
the great Napoleon at Waterloo. Although 
we had written the Annual and Special Fire 
Reports of Alfred Carson in 1851, '2, and '3, 
yet we wrote and published this document 
without his consultation, as he was in Troy, 
New York, when it appeared in the Herald ; 
but when he read it ir. the cars between Al- 
bany and New York, he was delighted with 
it, as he informed us on his arrival in this 
city. The Firemen will perceive that it was 
written soon after the destruction of Jeuning's 
Clothing Store in Broadway, and the loss of 
human life; and that we hurl back the ungen- 
erous charges of almost the universal press of 
Mew York, that the firemen were a gang of 
thieves, because some cheap and scorched aud 
wet clothing was placed over the chilly and 
mangled and dying firemen by their weeping 
comrades on that mournful occasion, and 
found on their dead bodies in the City Hos- 
pital. 

But read, Firemen, read, and unite to a man 
against all who would destroy the Volunteer 



Fire System of New York, which is the best 
ever devised since the forests aud Indians 
yielded to civilization and freedom. 

From the New York Herald of May 14, 1854. 

Firemen of New York : — The columns of 
almost every public journal are closed against 
you. The hand of almost every editor is up- 
lifted to strike yon down. The scurvy politi- 
cians, to a man, are against you, and the in- 
surance corporations are spending their mon- 
ey freely to distract and subvert your organ- 
ization, for the first time since the Indians 
transmitted their fire department to the pale 
faces. And why this unhallowed alliance of 
the press, politicians, and insurance corpora- 
tions, for your demolition? I will tell you. 
The press would blot out Alfred Carson, be- 
cause he dared attack them, and silence their 
base libels on his good name; the corrupt pol- 
iticians would bury yourselves and Carson in 
one common ruin, because you have driven 
their Aldermanic cronies back to their dreary 
abodes of reflection and remorse, and the bi- 
ting neglect of meritorious citizens ; and the 
insurance companies have secretly united to 
destroy you, because you and your predeces- 
sors have been so kind and true to them and 
their ancestors for one or two centuries. In- 
gratitude is of rare occurrence among honor- 
able men, but from soulless corporations it is 
to be expected, although they are composed of 
creatures who profess to have souls. 

A paid fire department is the ostensible cry 
of the press; but your chastisement is their 
leading motive, because you have clung like 
brothers to your Chief, against their maledic- 
tions. Their first object is to render you ob- 
noxious with the people. And how woidd 
they effect this? Not by honorable means, 
hut by branding you indiscriminately as 
thieves, even while some of you are imploring, 
in the name of a humane God, to be extrica- 
ted from burning ruins, and when the thrilling 
cries of your deceased comrades could be 
heard in their editorial closets ; and, when ex- 
tricated, (some dead, and others apparently in' 
their last gasp,) these editors send you, edito- 
rially, to the hospital or to Greenwood, as a 
gang of worthless thieves. They thus de- 
grade and lacerate the bleeding hearts of your 
distracted kindred ; and, to make sure of their 
victims, living and dead, they devise a hellish 
plot to entrap your noble Chief Engineer to 
testify against your departed companions, 
whose testimony before the Coroner's Jury, 
was most shamefully perverted by almost 
every press in the city. And these editors do 
all this to operate on the people, and in favor 
of a paid fire department. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



Firemen, you do not merit this degradation 
and this cruel persecution from the press, (the 
safety of whose costly establishments you 
watoh with such sleepless vigilance,) simply 
because you have conscientiously testified 
your undeviating devotion to your Chief, who 
has shared your perils for so many years, 
■while those who would degrade and destroy 
you, are sweetly reposing on feather beds, and 
making glorious dividends from your gratuit- 
ous and perilous labors. 

The editors prate about the thievish pro- 
pensities of firemen, as though there were no 
thieves among the editors ; but these editors 
mnst be a most infernal set of scamps from 
their glowing accounts of each other. And 
the editors prognosticate no more thefts if the 
firemen are only paid good fat salaries, and are 
called brigadiers, or brigade firemen. These 
brigadiers must come direct from Heaven, if 
there be not, here and there, a devil among 
them. Louis Napoleon elected himself Em- 
peror through his fire brigades, and other sim- 
ilar organizations ; and Matsell, backed by 
a large portion ot the press and the politicians, 
may have some mischievous game in view, for 
he is in his shirt sleeves for a fire brigade. — 
Brigadier Matsell ! How that would sound ! 
And a Brigadier of two Departments, viz. : 
the fire and the police. O, there's much in 
that. Did not Matsell once attempt to wear 
a white fireman's cap ? and did not Anderson 
make him take it off? And did not Matsell 
order a general alarm at the fire in Forsyth 
street the other day ? Oh, firemen, why will 
you repose on a volcano ? 

Much is said by the press of the indepen- 
dence of the police, under its present organiza- 
tion. But does not Matsell report the trem- 
bling policemen for misdemeanor to the Mayor, 
Recorder, and City Judge, whose action is 
final in their removal? This power, in the 
hands of Matsell, is a lash, and enables him, 
in connection with his captains and lieuten- 
ants, to control the city. How easy for a po- 
lice captain, under instructions from Matsell, 
to silence the clamors of their political oppo- 
nents at the polls, and to incarcerate, (in the 
Tombs or station houses, until the election is 
over, and the votes are " satisfactorily" count- 
ed,) under the pretext of disturbance, all those 
who dared oppose Matsell's candidates, and 
the candidates of Matsell's friends among the 
press and the politicians. And if we had 
another powerful political organization, in the 
form of a paid fire department, or Napoleonic 
Fire Brigade, that would harmonize in its ac- 
tion with the police department, and with the 
leading politicians, and with the press, and 
with the insurance and other corporations, 
what would become of the right of practical 
suffrage in the city of New York ? It would 
exist only in name. 

With power equally distributed among the 
nations of Europe, there would be no cause 
for war. Nicholas thinks he can resist all 
Europe in arms : hence the present war. 
What mainly preserves the union of the States 
is the eqality of representation of States in 
the American Senate, through which the re- 
served rights of the States are chiefly protect- 
ed. And what will preserve the city of New 
York from conflagration, and best protect the 
ballot-box, and promote the best interests of 
the city, will be for the press to be far less 
grasping in its desires for universal power, 
through its advocation of, and its subsequent 
intimate connection with, the leading officers 
of dangerous political organizations, which 
must ultimately result in their absorption of 
the right of suffrage, and perhaps in tho de- 
struction of the city itself. Let the press and 
tho public organizations studiously move in 
their respective spheres, like the States and 
the General Government, — a serious collision, 



or too friendly intimacy, being equally fatal 
to both, and to all concerned. 

The Press has power enough, and quite as 
much as the people can safely allow them. 
The public corporations have more power 
than is consistent with the public safety, and 
the purity and exercise of the elective fran- 
chise. But I repeat, that with a police de- 
partment, and paid fire department, and other 
public corporations, and the press, all united 
in a specified object, God have mercy on the 
city of New York. Farewell, then, to the 
right of suffrage in this city. The paid fire- 
men and the paid policemen, openly or tacitly 
sustained by the press, would utterly block 
up and control the passages leading to the 
ballot-boxes, permitting (as many of the police 
do now) only those to vote who could give 
the countersign. This fearful consolidation of 
power in the first American city might lead 
to the roost deplorable results to the whole 
country. We have not existed eighty years 
as a Republic, which is a very brief period in 
the silent and trackless footsteps of centuries. 
The American eagle might fall to-morrow 
from his projecting cliff, never to rise. Rome 
ruled, and finally destroyed the Roman Em- 
pire. So with Athens and Alexandria, and 
other ancient cities. Paris, through political 
organizations, rules France. These associa- 
tions, controlled by a bold, reckless, and ac- 
complished leader, can make France a repub- 
lic to-day, and a despotism to-morrow. Lon- 
don, through her public corporations, which 
were gradually stolen from the people, con- 
trols the British empire, on whose vast pos- 
sessions the sun never sets. And why should 
not New York, with similar organizations, 
and controlled by a crafty, irresponsible, un- 
scrupulous, and unbridled press, ultimately re- 
duce the Whole country to despotism and de- 
grading vassalage ? Some of our leading and 
most honorable statesmen will tell you that 
the city of New York controls the national 
conventions of either party, and the national 
politics, through half a dozen bloated politi- 
cal scamps, located in this city and Albany. 

Firemen of New York, and other citizens, 
are you prepared to incurthese perils? If not, 
arise and resist the superhuman efforts to dis- 
grace ant destroy you! Grasp and hold with 
giant strength the little you have left of the 
right of suffrage ; — cling, with undying firm- 
ness and affection, to your noble organization ; 
resist the attempts to saddle this tax-ridden 
city with an additional tax of nearly one mil- 
lion of dollars, for the support of a paid fire 
department, and avert the possible contin- 
gency that some mushroom scoundrel may, at 
no remote day, haughtily dispense the curses 
of monarchy or unlimited despotism on the 
ruins of your country ! 

A paid fire department, composed of a limit- 
ed number of hired mercenaries, could not 
protect this city so effectually as a voluntary 
system. It could be done in the cities of Eu- 
rope, where the habitations are composed of 
bricks, granite, marble, and other substances 
impervious to fire, but not in New York, 
where almost every edifice is a pile of shav- 
ings, or combustible matter. Moreover, hired 
civilians are the same as hired soldiers. Both 
work for pay, and not for public utility and 
renown. But the volunteer firemen of New 
York are as zealous and courageous as the 
soldiers of the Revolution, while paid firemen 
would evince the slothfulness and cowardice 
of the British in that memorable contest. 
Any man contending for liberty, and his wife 
and children, can easily rend to fragments 
three cowardly mercenary combatants, and a 
volunteer fireman of New York, panting for 
deeds of valor, and the love and respect of his 
fellow men, can effect more than half a dozen 
paid lazzaroni, who go to their perilous task 
as slaves go to the field. 



For years the press of New York has dis- 
gusted and insulted the firemen, by striving to 
make the people believe that the police were 
more efficient at fires than tho firemen ; and 
most of these puffs are written at Matsell's 
and the Captains' offices. We now begin to 
see the motive of this, which was two-fold. 
First, to make tho police system popu- 
lar with the people — and it has required an 
immense deal of puffing to make it even tole- 
rable with the people. And, secondly, to pre- 
pare the people for another police organiza- 
tion in the form of a paid fire department. We 
shall not recur to the past, but will recur to 
the future, files of the press, and we will ven- 
ture the prediction that, ere many days, it will 
be publicly announced that poor Matsell has 
either broken his thigh at a fire, or had his 
coat burned entirely from his back, or that he 
has saved the lives of seventy-five policemen, 
by ordering them down stairs just as the fatal 
crash was about to come ; or, fancying him- 
self Chief Engineer, he has actually struck a 
general alarm, as in Forsyth street. Or it may 
be announced that Captains Brennan, Leon- 
ard, or some other daring policemen, have 
quenced a tolerably large conflagration before 
the firemen arrived ; and that, at the same 
terrific Are, they saved the lives of several 
men, women, and children, at the imminent 
risk of losing their own valuable lives. 

This base stuff', and these monstrous lies, 
which daily fill the columns of the Press, con- 
cocted by the Police Department as early and 
valuable news, may have rendered the Police 
Department a little more tolerable with the 
people, but, at the same time, it has created a 
breach and a deadly hatred between the police- 
men and the firemen that will not be effaced 
while the present race of editors shall exist. 
And if they would atone for the mischief they 
have thus created, and would have more 
friendly relations subsist between the Police 
and Fire Departments, the sooner they stop 
such disgusting nonsense the better for them, 
and for the city at large. 

Stephen H. Bkanoh. 

May 14, 1854, 

And now, firemen, be vigilant, or you are 
lost. You are surrounded by spies and internal 
foes, who talk in favor of the Volunteer Sys- 
tem, and yet in ambush are toiling unceas- 
ingly against it. The Fire Department swarms 
with these hypocrites, who are mostly politi- 
cians, and employed to stab your Volunteer 
System by the chief robbers of the politicians, 
who desire to strangle the rights of tho peo- 
ple, and rob and oppress them with taxation, 
through two suoh overshadowing political 
organizations as the Fire and Police Depart- 
ments. 

Sttpfetn f. § ranch's ^iliptnr. 

NEW YORK, SATURDAY, MAY 22, 1858. 

LAMENTATIONS OF A GKAHAMITE. 

At the advent of Homreopatby a physician 
said : " There, Branch, take one drop every 
hour, and if you feel a twitch in the arms, or 
lingers, or toes, describe your electric thrills 
as accurately as possible, and let me see your 
notes when we meet again." The anticipated 
twitches in the far extremities alarmed us, 
lest our heart might get a slight twitch, and 
we bo very suddenly twitched into the grim 
abode of withered skeletons. We were eating 
Graham bread at this time with Horace Gree- 
ley, in Barclay street, and averaged about 
eight loaves a day between us, exclusive of 
the mush and stewed apples. An allopathic 
physician had assured us that all our fat was 
gone, save a small chunk near the spleen, and 
Horace warned us to take no medicine, but to 
duck our carcase every day, which would 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



soon bring to the surface all the indiscretions 
of early j T ears, as he had long averaged two 
baths a day, which produced two hundred 
boils, of which only twenty-eight remained. 
So, on a winter's morning, about five o'clock, 
we entered a little Egyptian mummy canvas 
perpendicular box, (before the introduction of 
the blessed Croton,) and hooked the canvas 
pine-frame door, and pulled the string, and 
down came the icy water. In our thrilling 
despair and unconsciousness, we grasped the 
string, like a drowning man a straw, and 
jerked and re-jerked it, until we broke the 
entire upper cistern arrangements, when down 
came ten hogsheads of rain water on our poor 
head, and washed away the mummy box, and 
us with it. After a Jonah scuffle, we crawled 
out of the box, and opened the bath-room 
door, and screamed fire, and murder, and sea- 
weed, and ran down stairs, with ten hogs- 
heads of water at our heels. "We ran into the 
kitchen, where the servants slept, who sprang 
from their beds, and ran into the street, and 
yelled, and aroused the neighbors, — and hens 
cackled, and cats mewed, and dogs barked, in 
all directions. We seized a tub and dashed 
up stairs against the overwhelming torrent, 
and found about forty lean Grahamites, up to 
their knees in water, and poor MacDonald 
Clarke and Horace Greeley among them, bail- 
ing for their lives, in their nocturnal mantles. 
Chairs, and books, and umbrellas, were float- 
ing on the bosom of the waters, and the scene 
resembled the devastation of Noah's deluge, 
or the encampment of California miners, at 
the rise and desolation of the Sacramento and 
her tributary streams. The walls were soon 
re-plastered, and new carpets laid, and chat'-. 
and saturation departed. We partially recov- 
ered from the bathing concussion, but were 
slowly wasting, and approaching the Spirit 
land, when we consulted an allopathic physi- 
cian, (who was an old friend of ours,) who 
told us that Graham bread and mush had di- 
minished and nearly paralyzed our kidneys, 
and that we must drink gin or die. We told 
him that our Father was President of the 
Rhode Island State Temperance Society, and 
that we belonged to three Teetotal Societies, 
and was President of one, and Recording Se- 
cretary of another, and that we could not 
drink gin, although we might possibly go gin- 
ger pop, without violating the Constitution of 
either Society. The Doctor then said : " Well, 
Branch, give me both hands, and let me also 
embrace you most fervently, and even kiss 
you, as you will probably die in about three 
days, and I shall never see you again, until I 
cotne to your funeral. Good by, my good 
fellow, and may God bless you in the other 
world." " Good Lord, Doctor, don't go — but 
bring on your gin, and I'll drink a gallon to 
begin with, and more if you say so. I'm not 
prepared to die, and dam the Temperance 
Societies, where life and death and decayed 
kidneys are involved." He then went to the 
Astor House, and got a quart of the purest 
gin, and told us to drink freely of it, which 
wo did, and soon felt so happy that we arose 
from our bed, and went to Mitchell's Olympic 
Theatre, where the sweet Mary Taylor was 
placarded for the Child of the Regiment, and 
Mitchell for Jem Bags. The gin had now got 
the better of us, and we talked, and laughed, 
and hissed the actors, until Mitchell approach- 
ed the foot-lights, and made an inflammatory 
speech against us, when a deafening shout 
arose: u Put him out! put him out!" and 
out we went, in a mighty hurry, over the 
heads of ladies and gentlemen. On reaching 
the outer door, a policeman saw us, whom we 
had learned to read and write, who accompa- 
nied us to the Graham House, and left us at 
the street door. We staggered up stairs, and 
got into the bed room of two nervons old 
maids, who were rigid Grahamites, and as 



thin as shads, who screamed so frightfully, that 
we got out as soon as possible, lest they would 
scratch our eyes out, and tear us to bleeding 
tatters. We then got into the bed room of 
Horace Greeley, who poked out his bald head 
from his straw pillow and scanty Graham bed- 
clothes, and exclaimed : " Who's there ?" 
" Thou pale and ghastly shadow ! what dost 
thou in my bed ? How dare you enter the 
sacred precincts of my domestic castle ?" 
"You dam drunken vagabond! you are a liar, 
if you say I'm in your bed. This is my room, 
and my couch, and if you don't leave, I'll 
throw my boot at your bewildered skull. — 
Hence! thou miserable sot! Away!" We 
then approached him, and sat on the side of 
his narrow cot, and stroked his chin, when he 
gave us a tremendous blow, in the face, and 
made our nose bleed copiously. He then 
arose, and perceiving who we were, ex- 
pressed the deepest sorrow, and bathed our 
nostrils, and led us to our room in the attic, 
and undressed us, and put us to bed, and 
tucked in the blankets, and after a scathing 
lecture against intemperance, he left us with 
a fond good night. We sent for our gin phy- 
sician, who said that whoever cured us, must 
cure our nerves, and he could not do it. This 
we regarded as our final knell, and we began 
to read the Bible and hymn hook, and prepare 
for death. But a homoeopathic physician was 
strongly recommended, whom we consulted, 
who gave us phosphorus and aconitum, which 
revived us like galvanic batteries, and he then 
told us to exchange Graham bread and mush 
for beef-soup and tenderloin, and we recovered 
rapidly. We were teaching a lad, whose dear 
little sister had the dysentery, with two allo- 
pathic butchers in attendance, who, after 
bleeding, and leeching, and blistering, and 
suffusing her system with mercury, recom- 
mended brandy as a last resort. The little 
angel had her last fit, as was supposed, and as 
her father was exhausted and bed-ridden with' 
grief and a burning fever, we went for a coffin 
towards midnight, and entered a store where 
there was a lamp in its expiring rays, and rang 
the bell, when in the drear and narrow per- 
spective, we beheld the lank and greedy grave- 
digger in his shirt and pants, and black 
nightcap, approaching us, in about the 
measured pace of " Hamlet's Ghost." — 
He had a dark lantern, and seemed a hideous 
spectre emerging from the regions of the dead. 
We were extremely nervous, and awfully dys- 
peptic, and unusually depressed from the pro- 
tracted storm, and could endure his fearful 
aspect no longer, and when within five paces 
of our trembling person, we darted from the 
coffin store, and ran as though the evil Nicho- 
las was after us. The sexton suspected us for 
a thief, and chased us several blocks, but we 
fiew like a whirlwind, and the devil himself 
could not have caught us. On reaching the 
abode of the suffering innocent, we found 
that she had emerged from the last fit, and off 
we scampered for the homoeopathic physician 
who had saved our life with phosphorus, and 
aconitum, and beef soup, and tenderloin. We 
aroused him from his couch, and we were by 
the side of the little invalid in twenty minutes, 
when the Doctor removed a tooth, (her jaws 
being apparently closed in death,) and depos- 
ited about four drops of medicine in her 
mouth, which was continued during the night, 
and at twelve, meridian,, she ate egg and 
potato combined, with milk, and in five days 
she rollicked all over the house. While con- 
ducting the Matsell Investigation, we wrote a 
Disquisition on Worms, and Mrs. Doughty, 
(the amiable wife of Mr. Doughty, who was 
long counected with the New York Street 
Department, and whose lovely daughter mar- 
ried a member of the great Banking House of 
Prime, Ward, & King,) called on the noble 
and supremely beautiful Mrs. Alderman John 



H. Briggs, and said : " I reside near Newark, 
New Jersey. My husband's name is Samuel S. 
Doughty, (who was Street Commissioner of 
the City of New York in 1SU and '-15,) and 
is very wealthy, and has erected a mansion that 
will compare with any in New Jersey. We 
have spacious grounds, and gardens, and or- 
chards, and horses, and carriages, and all that 
can render us happy in the evening of our 
days, and yet we are very miserable. A dark 
cloud hovers over our magnificent abode, that 
we fear will soon belch the elements of de- 
struction, and overwhelm us all in one common 
ruin. I have a sweet, and intellectual, and 
generous-hearted daughter, whose rare con- 
versational powers, and vocal and instru- 
mental music,, cheered us in other days, who 
has been chained to a couch of illness more 
than two years. So disconsolate is her heart, 
that she will not permit her rosy and 
curly children to enter her apartment, nor a 
solitary mortal, save myself and husband. 
Her stomach rejects every species of food, and 
she has the piles most awfully, and several 
other diseases. Doctors Parker and Mott, and 
other eminent Americans, and two distin- 
guished European physicians, have crossed the 
Atlantic, and toiled long and hard for her res- 
toration. Now, my dear Mrs. Briggs, please 
listen very attentively to what I am about to 
disclose. A week since, I discovered a long 
article on Worms in the New York Daily 
1'iines, signed by Stephen H. Branch, and read 
it to my daughter, to elicit, if possible, a smile 
from her sad face. Bnt I had scarcely closed 
it, ere she partially arose in her bed, and fixed 
her excited eyes upon me, and most terribly 
alarmed'' me, as she had not arisen in her bed 
for months, without assistance, and I said : 
' Why, my dear child, did you arise without 
my aid, and why, dear Caroline, do you stare 
so at your mother ?' She waved her hand, 
and faintly cried: 'Go on, dear mother, go 
on, and let me agaiu hear the delightful music 
of those words. I am saved, mother, I am 
saved, and Stephen II. Branch is my deliverer. 
Read, mother, read, and gladden the heart of 
poor Caroline.' And I read it again, and she 
alternately wept and laughed until I closed it, 
and then she softly laid her head upon her 
pillow, and crossed her asms on her excited 
and swelling bosom, and breathed a prayer to 
God for the preservation of Mr. Branch, until 
she could behold him. Her words were per- 
fect inspiration, and I cried until my eyes 
were highly inflamed, and until I almost fell 
upon the floor, and I dared not cry more, and 
I had to leave her and call my husband, who 
came and relieved me. She had not slept 
without laudanum for months, but in ten 
minutes after I closed Mr. Branch's article on 
Worms, she passed into a gentle and natural 
slumber, and did not awake until the follow- 
ing day at meridian. And her repose impart- 
ed a rainbow glow to her icy cheeks, and ex- 
changed roses for lilies. And she beckoned 
me to her bedside, and softly said : ' Mother : 
I want you to visit Mr. Branch, as I believe I 
have got worms, and I am sure, from his 
glowing and truthful Dissertation on this novel 
theme, that he fully understands my caso, 
which the most eminent physicians have fail- 
ed to fathom.' I smiled, and assured her that 
it would be useless. But for several days she 
has afforded me no peace, sueh have been her 
importunities for me to see Mr. Branch. And 
as I conceived it very dangerous to oppose her 
will, in her critical condition, I have come, 
and I desire you to exert all your influence to 
induce Mr. Branch to accompany me to my 
residence in the suburbs of Newark, and see 
my beloved child, who will salute him like a 
brother and deliverer, and who is nearly dis- 
tracted to behold him." Mrs. Briggs sent for 
us, and we personally responded on the fol- 
lowing day, when wo told her that we were 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S A LLIGATOR. 



chasing MatseJl night and day, and could not 
spare the time to visit Newark invalids; nor 
did wu desire to, as we were not u practical 
physician, and if we assumed the awful respon- 
sibility of treating chronic piles and worms, 
if a patient died while under our care, we 
might be arrested for murder, and be tried by 
a jury packed by Dick Connolly, as County 
Clerk, and be condemned and hung. So, in 
comes Mrs. Doughty again, and again, and 
through her tears, and those thrilling and irre- 
sistible apostrophes of a devoted mother, she 
touches the magic cord in the heart of Mrs. 
Briggs, who resolved to get me to Newark, if 
possible. So, she comes at me like General 
Putnam's or Samson's wives, and demands me 
to visit Newark to gratify the. invalid's curi- 
osity to see me, as a matter of humanity, and 
said' that if I did not go, the daughter might 
die in a lit, and I would be responsible to God 
and man, and to woman also, for she, herself, 
would forever bold me responsible for the 
premature demise of the pale divinity of New- 
ark. So, we proposed to go, if her husband, 
Alderman John H. Briggs, would accompany 
us. We then winked to Jack, and he hesi- 
tated, which pleased us well, and we peremp- 
torily declined to go. But Mrs. Briggs then 
flew at Jack with a fork and pepper box, and 
Ja/k yielded like a docile lamb, and we also 
had to go, or perhaps receive the perforation 
of a fork, or a gill of pepper in our eyes, or 
listen to a tongue that might have blistered 
our conscience. So we saw our extraordinary 
physician, who had ejected eleven worms from 
our belly, (one of which was tied in a square 
knot,) and over we went to Jersey City, 
where Mr. Doughty, and the most beautiful 
horses and carriage, with driver and postilion, 
anxiously awaited our arrival, and on we go 
to the suburbs of Newark, crossing a stream 
in a ferry boat, that strongly reminded us of 
the immortal river Styx. We reach Mr. 
Doughty's elegant residence, and rove through 
the meandering patios, aud cull pretty flowers, 
and luscious peaches, and enjoy a rural din- 
ner, and are escorted by Mrs. Doughty into 
the presence of her daughter, who extends 
her skeleton fingers, and archly lays them in 
ours, whose icy coldness thrills the fibres of 
our bowels. She strives to smile, and casts ten- 
der glances, and looks down into our soul, for 
a deliverer. Our eyes reflect the fondest hope, 
and as she beheld this cheerful word, on the 
surface of our vision, she sweetly smiles, and 
presses onr palm with tenderness and love. 
And then she breathes patient words of her 
atllictions, and touching soliloquies, and sings 
plaintive verses, and eclipses the sad Ophelia, 
when moaning for Hamlet, or scattering with- 
ered flowers, or on the rosy margin of the 
glassy brook, where she meets a watery grave. 
In her lucid intervals, we describe her symp- 
toms and emotions with such minuteness, that 
we quickly win her confidence, and she is 
ready to show us her piles and half a dozen 
other diseases, including worms, and she di- 
rects her mother to remove the bed clothes, 
and let us behold her scabs and frightful 
probes and lacerations, and inhuman mutila- 
tions, by the leading physicians of Europe and 
America. But we very emphatically direct 
Mrs. Doughty to replace the sheets, and quilts, 
and blankets, as we were not a physician, and 
had no license, and as the authorities of New 
Jersey (which were rather severe when they 
caught a foreign barbarian in their dominions) 
might cage us, if they learned that we were 
examining female patients without a Jersey 
permit. But we assured both mother and 
daughter, that the gentleman below, in com- 
pany with Alderman Briggs, was the very 
physician who drove eleven worms from our 
stomach, and that he could critically examine 
her diseases, as he was a licensed physician. 
go, although the invalid abjured her own 



lovely children, and her dear kindred, and 
doctors, and all save her father and mother, 
yet she bad such confidence in us, that she 

permitted our physician to enter her cham- 
ber, where he critically examined her person, 
and' immediately assured her that, he could not 
only save, but cure her in six weeks. She 
swooned at this thrilling intelligence, and did 
not recover her consciousness for two bonis, 
when ourself, and the Doctor, and Alderman 
Briggs, returned to New York. Two months 
afterward-, we called on the Doctor, who in- 
formed us that he bad just returned from a 
very large party in Layiayette Place, where he 
had passed the evening very pleasantly with 
Mr. and Mrs. Doughty and their lovely daugh- 
ter, who was entirely restored to health, and 
who played the great piano music of Thalberg 
ami Liztfor him, and sang nearly equal to Al- 
boni, and that be had the pleasure of a waltz 
in her graceful and bewitching embraces, who 
darted through the parlor in a dance, like an 
eagle through the air, and that the father, and 
mother, and daughter, warmly inquired for 
Mr. Branch, whom they regarded as the 
saviour of their earthly happiness. And thus 
closes the lamentations and humanities of a 
ghastly Grahamite, whose narrative on Worms 
restored a marble statue to vitality, and her 
parents, and children, and kindred and friends, 
to the divinest hilarity and joy. And for miles 
around the residence of the Doughtys, invalids 
have been rescued from early graves by this 
supernatural physician, who recently was 
compelled to conceal himself from the regi- 
ments of skeletons who applied for his magic 
skill and medicines, which is the only reason 
why we do not disclose his mighty name, lest 
his patients waste him to the mournful realms 
of Greenwood, where his slender frame will 
soon repose forever. 



make this a glorious, an immortal day. When 
we are in our graves, our children will honor 
it. They will celebrate it with thanksgivings, 
with bonfires and illuminations. On its annual 
return they will shed tears, copious, gushing 
te ar8 — no t of subjection and slavery — not of 
agony and distress — but of gratitude, of con- 
solation, and of joy. And I leave off as I be- 
gan — that live or die— survive or perish — I 
am for the Declaration. It is my living senti- 
ment, and by the blessing of God it shall he 
my dying sentiment — Independence now, and 
Independence forever !" 



A Melancholy Postscript !— We called last evening to 
read these lamentations to the Doctor of Mrs. Doughty s 
daughter, and we learned that he was reposing in the dark 
and silent caverns of the globe. 0, the rats and mice and 
pigmies and shadows and phantoms of life's funny and tear- 
ful and mysterious fandango. We open our eyes in the 
sweet twilight of ttie morning, and behold the gorgeous 
panorama of the Universe, and form the warmest attach- 
ments, and go to our rest at sunset, never to awake ! Peace 
to the soul and ashes of Dr. DaTirJ Perry, who is the la- 
mented Physician of our narrative, who was the student of 
Dr. Cheesnan, and preserved thelife of.ourself and brother 
and other kindred and friends. 

For American Youth to Read, and for 
Thieves and Traitors to Ponder. 

With the Declaration of Independence in 
his right hand, John Adams, on the Fourth of 
July, 1776, rose and said : 

"Mr. President : — Read this Declaration at 
the head of the Army ; every sword will be 
drawn from its scabbard, and the solemn vow 
uttered to maintain it or perish on the bed of 
honor. Publish it from the pulpit : religion 
will approve of it, and the love of religious 
liberty will cling around it, resolved to stand 
with it or fall with it. Send it to the public 
halls— proclaim it there— let them hear it who 
heard the first roar of the enemy's cannon — let 
them see it who saw their sons and their 
brothers fall on the field of Bunker's Hill, and 
in the streets of Lexington and Concord, and 
the very walls will cry out in its support. 
Sir, I know the uncertainty of human affairs ; 
but I can see — see clearly through this day's 
business. You and I may not live to the time 
when this Declaration shall be made good, — 
we may die — die colonists — die slaves — die, it 
may be, ignominiously and on the scaffold. — 
Be it so— be it so. If it be the pleasure of 
Heaven that my country shall require the poor 
offering of my life, the victim shall be ready 
at the appointed hour of sacrifice, come when 
that hour may. But while I do live, let me 
have a country, or at least the hope of a coun- 
try, and that a free country. Through the 
thick gloom of the present I see the brightness 
of the future, as the sun in Lieaven. We shall 



Reflections at the grave of Chaeles A. 
Jesup, who reposes in the suburbs of West- 
port, Ct. ; written by Stephen H. Branch, in 
liis early years : — 

To thy loved tomb I've come to day, 
To sing of thee a mournful lay : 
Not in the strain I used to sing, 
For life is now a weary thing. 

As I came here, I gladly found 
A pretty bird upon thy mound : 
It lingered long, and sang as though 
Departed worth reposed below. 

Bv thy lone grave, in this strange land, 
'Neath April skies, I hapless stand : 
While num'rous flocks and herds I spy, 
With honest farmers ploughing nigh. 

I can but think, as I look round, 
That you once played upon this ground : 
The hills ! the stream ! the velvet lawn ! 
E'en house I see where thou wast born 1 
Where thou wast born? Alas ! where died, 
And all our best affections tried : 
Aye, on that drear, autumnal day, 
When, round thee, dying, all did pray. 
That was, indeed, a cruel year. 
To cut down one to kin so dear ; 
So full of promise, and so young, 
To whom we all so fondly clung. 
Was't not enough, with fatal blow, 
A nation to o'erwhelm in woe? 
In that fell year, a chieftain died— 
Brave Harrison — his country's pride. 
But we'll not chide — 'twas God's decree : 
Thv day was come — He wanted thee : 
Thy sudden death spread gloom— indeed, 
Caused many a manly heart to bteed. 
Ton weary farmers cease to plough, 
To mingle with sweet twilight now, 
Which warns me to depart this place, 
And wend my way at rapid pace. 
Dear Charley ! all the past I see ! 
Our fav'rite walks ! thy happy glee! 
God ! farewell ! in tears I leave ! 
My heart would here forever cleave ! 



The following meritorious gentlemen are 
wholesale agents for the Alligator. 

Koss&Tousey, 121 Nassau street. 
Hamilton & Johnson, 22 Ann street. 
Samuel Yates, 22 Beekman street. 
Mike Madden, 21 Ann street. 
Cauldwell & Long, 23 Ann street. 
Boyle & Gibson, 32 Ann street and 
Hendrickson & Blake, 25 Ann street. 

Advertisements— One Dollar a line 

IN ADVANCE. 

riiiiK iti'.i) i i, v<; (joustm's jouknai.) 

J. will be unfurled on Saturday, May 15th, with most 
terrific cuts, by ttie sanguinary editor, at Bennett, Sickles, 
Rynders, Old Buck, and even Branch, though to that Dear 
Boy he is in no degree a " stern parient." Give your orders 
— down with the dust — 3 cents each— at the office, 102 Nas- 
sau street. 

THERE IS SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS 

IN THE 

PICAYUNE. 
Tou are sincerely warned not to look at THE PICAYUNE. 
AVOID THE PICAYUNE ! 

SHUN THE PICAYUNE! 
Or if you must have it, STEAL it. 



PCGOUHlKli, STAI'lllJKK, BO< >KSI';l,- 
• l>l<'.K and General Newsdealer, S31 Broadway, 
New York, near ISth street. 
At Godfrey's — Novels, Books, &c, all the new ones cheap. 
At Godfrey's— Magazine*, Fancy Articles, Ac, cheap. 
At Godfrey's— Stationery of all kinds cheap. 
At Godfrey's— All the Daily and Weekly Papers. 
At Godfrey's — Visiting Cards Printed at 75 cents per pack. 
At Godfrey's — Ladies Fashion Books of latest date. 



ATJ«. BRKM'ANO, SMlTHSONI «. <* \KWS 
DEPOT, Books and Stationery, 608 BROADWAY, cor- 
ner of Houston street. 

Subscriptions for American or Foreign Papers or Booki, 
from the City or Country, will be promptly attended to. 

Foreign Papers received by every steamer. Store open 
from 6 A. M. to 11 P. M throughout the week. 



"EXCELSIOR. HUNT, 211 CENTRE-ST., N. Y. 




X T T 



Volume I— No. 6.] 



SATURDAY, MAY 29, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



For Boys and Girls, and Wives and Hus- 
bands, and Venerable Men to read and 
remember forever ! 

The corrupt antecedents of Judge Russell 
and Superintendent Tallmadge — Sad revela- 
tions — The founders of Straw Bail dissected 
to their marrow bones, by a man who was in 
collusion with them in their deeds of pub- 
lic villainy. 

In 18±1, I (Stephen H. Branch) went into 
the law office of Mr. Seely, in Fulton street, 
who, being absent, I awaited his return. He 
had an interesting boy to open his office and 
run errands. I asked him if he was a native 
of the -city, and he said yes, and told me chat 
his father and mother were dead, and that 
his grandmother had recently died, and that 
his only surviving relative was an aunt, who 
was an actress, and travelling over the coun- 
try, and that she seldom visited the city, 
which made him feel very lonely and un- 
happy. I asked him if lie would like to have 
me teach him gratuitously, and he said he 
would^-that he was at school in Connecticut 
before his grandmother died, and was obliged 
to close his studies in consequence of her 
death — and that he would have travelled with 
his aunt, after his grandmother died, if she- 
had not made him promise on her bed of 
death, that he would never become an actor. 
I saw genius in the youth, and strongly sym- 
pathised with his loneliness and misfortunes, 
and soon began to teach him during his lei- 
sure hours. His aunt was long absent, and 
sent him no money, and the lady with whom 
he boarded got uneasy, and I took him to 
board with me, at Mrs. Mitchell's, in Broad- 
way, with whom Otto Dressel, the Reverend 
Doctor George Potts' music teacher, subse- 
quently boarded in Bond, and at the corner 
of Houston and McDougal streets. While we 
boarded with Mrs. Mitchell, an English boy 
came there, and formed his acquaintance, who 
had recently come to America with a German 
traveller. They were about the same age, 
and congenial from mutual loneliness, and they 
immediately formed a devoted friendship. I 
taught them, both in English and Latin, and 
I dearly loved them. I did all I could to 
please them, and improve their minds, and I 
took them to Flushing, and Newark, and Al- 
bany, for pastime. The English boy left the 
city with the German traveller, and was ab- 
sent several months. I got the American hoy 
situations in lawyers' offices and dry goods 
stores, where he seldom stayed long, and he 
became a great tax on my limited means, but 
I clung to him in my darkest hours. He told 
me that he desired to dine at the Astor House, 



with the son of a lawyer, in whose employ he 
had been. I rather doubted his story, but let 
him go. Soon afterwards, he requested me 
to let him go again, and I did so, going my- 
self, soon after he left me, and took a position 
near the door, after the gong had summoned 
the boarders to dinner. On emerging from 
the dining room after dinner, I asked him 
where the son of the lawyer was. He said 
that he was in the dining hall. I told him that 
I would like an introduction to him. His 
cheeks were naturally as red as a rose, but my 
unexpected presence, and request for an in- 
troduction to the lawyer's son, made his face 
as pale as a ghost's, and I saw that he had 
stolen his dinner, which he slowly acknowl- 
edged, and admitted that he had dined twice 
at the Astor without an intention to pay for 
his dinners, and that he knew no sou of a 
lawyer residing at the Astor House. I vio- 
lently upbraided him, and told him that he 
would ultimately become the tenant of a 
prison, and perhaps die on the scaffold, if he 
did not check his thievish propensities. He 
said that I observed small things, which so 
provoked me, that I told him I must abandon 
him, — that he was in the bud and blossom of 
the precarious Spring, and easily blighted for 
ever by a frost or tempest, — that even the 
mighty oak, that has defied the storms of cen- 
turies, is felled to the earth by a blast of light- 
ning, — and that the towering avalanche, which 
is formed from silent and solitary flakes of 
snow, could bury the largest, city of the globe. 
He evinced great sorrow, and cried bitterly, 
and assured me that he would never steal 
another meal. I then paid for both dinners, 
and left the Astor, and kept a close guard 
over his movements. In about three weeks, 
he was arrested for an attempt to rifle a man's 
pocket in Wall street. The gentleman did not 
appear against him, and he was discharged. I 
then went to an actor to ascertain in what 
part of the country his aunt was, and imme- 
diately wrote to her, and she came to the city, 
and I surrendered the thievish boy to her fu- 
ture protection. She got him a boarding 
place, and left the city to fulfil her theatrical 
engagement. He urged me afterwards to give 
him a recommendation to the extensive whole- 
sale dry goods firm of Fearing & Hall, in 
Exchange Place. I told him that I would do 
them great injustice, as he might steal, and 
then they would hold me responsible. But he 
said his aunt had not sent him money for a 
long time, and that he had nowhere to live, 
and wept aloud, in Chatham street, and so 
wrought upon my feelings, that I consented 
to recommend him. During my interview 



with Mr. Fearing, (who was the senior part- 
ner of the firm,) he said that out of one hun- 
dred responses to his advertisement for a 
clerk, he had chosen my young friend, because 
he was pleased with his appearance and ad- 
dress, and that he was the only boy out of 
the one hundred who had removed his hat 
on entering his counting room. I had a year 
previous told the boy to always remove his 
hat when he entered the presence of a lady or 
gentleman, and this was the propitious fruit 
of his recollection and exercise of the polite- 
ness I had imparted. Mr. Fearing also said 
that although he could .get the boys of afflu- 
ent parents for nothing, (who deemed the 
knowledge of business they would acquire as 
a compensation for their services,) yet he was 
so pleased with my young friend, that he 
would give sufficient means to support him, 
if he proved industrious, and displayed the 
talents lie thought he discovered in him. I 
hft, and the boy went on the following day 
as a clerk of this extensive firm, who soon in- 
formed me that their anticipations were rea- 
lised as to the capacity of the boy, — that he 
was as quick as a flash, in all his movements, 
and was more valuable to them than any boy 
they ever had. Mr. Fearing made him pres- 
ents of apparel, and paid his board, and gave 
him pocket money, and treated him like his 
own son. He soon got into the habit of at- 
tending balls, and places of amusement. 
Money was missed, and although traced to 
him, yet Mr. Fearing kindly forgave him. 
More soon disappeared, and was fastened 
upon him, and he was discharged, amid the 
tears of Mr. Fearing, who fondly loved him. 
He alternately boarded in Fulton and John 
streets, and borrowed an elegant pair of tight 
dancing pantaloons of a fellow boarder and 
companion, named Robert M. Strebeigh, who 
is now the first book-keeper, and one of the 
proprietors of the New York Tribune, and a 
lear relative of Mr. McElrath. He wore the 
pants to a ball, and stained them, and burst 
them, and never returned them, which sorely 
troubled poor Strebeigh for a long time, and 
I often have a laugh with Strebeigh at this 
remote day, about those pants, but he can 
never smile when I allude to the loss of his 
fancy ball pantaloons. Some months later, 
he was arrested for stealing clothing, and had 
an accomplice, who escaped. Be was arrested 
at the Battery, while getting into an omnibus, 
and strove to bribe the officer with money. I 
went to the Tombs to see him, and wrote to 
his aunt, who came to the city. She was (and 
is) an actress of uncommon talent, and enacted 
the leading characters of Shakespeare. I had 



<2 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



often seen her elicit tears from a vast assem- 
blage, with her affected pathos. But now I 
beheld her unaffected sorrow, and heard her 
piercing cries for the deliverance of her 
nephew from his dreary and degraded con- 
finement. And her strong, clear, and musical 
voice, and large, dark, penetrating eyes, and 
uplifted arms, and dishevelled hair, and rapid 
pace too and fro, and furious gesticulation, 
and frenzied glances, harrowed my feelings 
beyond endurance, and I had to shield myself 
as far as possible from her pitiful and over- 
whelming presence. I went to the Tombs, and 
saw the boy, and told him his aunt had arrived, 
and he desired to see her. I returned and told 
her his request, and she exclaimed: "I know 
he wants to see his beloved aunt — the dear, 
dear boy, with no father, nor mother, and his 
kind old grandmother also dead — I know he 
yearns to see his only surviving relative — the 
dear, darling, unfortunate boy, and I will go 
to see him, and kiss him, and comfort him in 
his dreary dungeon, and die with him, in his 
captivity, if necessary," and thus she solilo- 
quised and wept in tones of strangulation, 
while arranging her shawl and bonnet before 
the glass, and I cried also, and besought her 
not to go, as I did not desire to witness the 
harrowing prison scene between herself and 
beloved nephew. But she assured me that 
she would control her feelings, and would not 
weep, nor evince extraordinary emotion in his 
cell, if I would accompany her. I doubted her 
power of dissimulation, when she beheld her 
nephew, in his narrow cell, with a stone and 
block for his bed and pillow, and restrained of 
his liberty by locks, bars, bolts, and chains. 
But she most earnestly assured me that she 
could master her sympathies, and appealed to 
her control of her passions onthestagc, as evi- 
dence of her ability to subdne he& feelings in 
a prison. She did not convince, but smiled 
like an angel through her tears, and persuaded 
me to go in accents that would have conquered 
and melted a fiend into submission. On our 
arrival at the Tombs, her eyes were excited 
with fear, and as we ascended the steps that 
led to the cell, she trembled like a little girl, 
and hoped I would pardon her tremulation, as 
it was her first appearance in a real prison, 
and trusted it would be the last. I tranquil- 
ized her fears, and we enter his cell, and when 
she beholds his pale and sad and lovely face, she 
screams, and embraces, and hugs, and kisses 
him, until it seems she will strangle and devour 
him. After the shock, she slowly recovers 
herself, and adheres, as far as possible, to her 
pledge to check her agony, until we arise to 
leave him, when I behold a scene between 
herself and nephew, far more affecting than I 
ever witnessed on the stage of a theatre, or in 
human life. She raved and pulled her hair, 
and pressed him to her panting bosom, as 
though she was bidding him an eternal fare- 
well, prior to his immediate departure for the 
scaffold. The boy becomes alarmed, as she 
had almost suffocated him with affection, and 
in his herculean efforts to extricate his neck 
from her terrible Bearish embraces, they both 
fell violently on the floor of the cell, when I 
implored her to release her grasp, lest she 
would strangle him. But Bhe was in a trance 
of affection, and was utterly unconscious, and 
the boy soon crie3 for instant succor, or he 
must die, when I seize her with all the strength 
I could summon, and after a severe struggle 
(in which I tear the apparel of both, and scratch 
their faces,) I separate them, and in half 
an hour, through the most tender persua- 
sion, I effect her emergence from the cell, amid 
an avalanche of renewed embraces, and mutual 
kisses, and parting words. On leaving the 
cell, a captive (who had the freedom of the 
prison, and whose heart was moved by the 
noise in the cell, and the touching presence of 
the lady,) beckoned me aside, and told me that 



a friend of his got out of prison the day before 
for thirty dollars, and that he expected to ob- 
tain his liberty tho following day for twenty 
dollars, which was all the money he could 
raise. I asked him how it could be done. He 
said that Abraham D. Russell was the lawyer 
of himself and friend, and got a great many 
guilty persons out of prison t'or a small sum of 
money, and that if I would consult him, he 
could easily get my young friend out in a day 
or two. I thanked him kindly, and left the 
prison with the boy's aunt, and to restrain her 
tears, I immediately imparted to her the 
pleasing news I had heard. She was almost 
frantic with joy, and said that although she had 
not much money in consequence of the great 
expense attending her suit, then pending for 
divorce, against her brutal husband, yet she 
would pawn her jewelry and theatrical ward- 
robe, if necessary, to release her nephew from 
his dreadful incarceration. I told her the pris- 
oner said that it would cost only thirty dol- 
lars, which she promised to raise as soon as 
she could send the servant to the pawnbrokers. 
I escorted her to the boarding house, and left 
her to procure the money, while I went to 
Mr. Russell's office, to ascertain if the prisoner 
told the truth. Mr. Russell was absent, but 
his boy, Theodore Stuyvesant, (recentlya mem- 
ber of the New York Legislature,) said he would 
soon return, and in about ten minutes he came 
into the office. 1 briefly stated the case, and 
he said that for thirty dollars in advance, he 
would have the boy restored to liberty. I ran 
to the boy's aunt, and told her the precious 
news, and she let me have thirty dollars, which 
she borrowed from the stage manager of a 
theatre in this city, and thus saved the wound- 
ed heart and cruel sacrifice that are the sure 
result of forced dealings with pawnbrokers. I 
hastened to Mr. Russell's office, and cheerfully 
gave him the thirty dollars, and went to the 
prison and told the boy what I had done, who 
was wild with delight. On the following 
morning, I went early to the Court of Sessions, 
and a gang of thieves made their appearance, 
and were huddled like sheep in a corner of 
the Court Room. I had firmly refused the re- 
quest of the boy's aunt to be present, and if I 
had not, I think she would never have sur- 
vived the awful scene. To behold a youth so 
beautiful and classical, amid a group of ugly 
burglars of all hues, and of either sex, was a 
spectacle that painfully disgusted me, and 
made me almost sick of life, but I disguised 
my feelings as far as I could, and rivetted my 
eyes on the boy and the officer who called the 
prisoners for trial and sentence, which were 
nearly simultaneous. . The boy's name was 
near the close of the list, and was not called 
that day, and he was remanded to his cell. 
Throughout the painful scene, I was writhing 
with suppressed anger, at the absence of Mr. 
Russell, and after the boy was remanded to 
prison, I rushed to Russell's office in terrible 
anger. I demanded why he had abandoned 
the boy after receiving thirty dollars, and that if 
three more prisoners had been called to appear 
in front of the Judge for trial, my young 
friend's name would have been reached on the 
list of culprits, and he doubtless would have 
been condemned and sentenced to the States 
Prison for tho want, perhaps, of a lawyer to 
defend him. Russell said that he was busy, 
and could not be in the Court of Sessions to 
defend him ; but that he would certainly be 
there on the following day, and save him. As 
he had got the thirty dollars in his relentless 
grasp, I deemed it expedient to restrain my 
anger, and try his integrity once more. The 
morning came, and the thieves were again 
driven like cattle into the Court Room, and I 
soon discovered the bright eyes and noble fea- 
tures of my young friend among the hideous 
and wretched criminals. But Mr. Russell was 
not there, and I inquired for him, and a young 



lawyer told me that he was in the ante-room, 
whither I literally flew, and asked him why 
he did not come into the Court Room, and 
he prepared to defend the boy, as the 
Judge was in his seat, and the prisoners 
were about to tie called and tried. He told 
me not to be in such a flurry, and that he 
should come when he pleased, and not before, 
which so exasperated me, that I cried out: 
" Then give me the thirty dollars I gave you 
to effect his liberty." He stared at me with 
his bad and revengeful eyes, like an owl in a 
midnight tempest, but he breathed not a syl- 
lable. Several persons heard my voice in the 
Court Room, and came into the ante-room. 
I then exclaimed : " You black looking ras- 
cal, restore the thirty dollars instantly, or I 
will tear you to pieces." This terrified him, 
and he gently took my arm, and besought me, 
in God's name, to be silent, and not expose 
him, and most solemnly declared that he 
would go immediately into the Court Room, 
and have the boy's trial postponed, and that 
be would get his sacred friend, Frederick A. 
Tallmadge, the Recorder, to permit him to be 
discharged on bail in a few days. This paci- 
fied me, and he went into the Court Room, 
where I watched his movements as a cat does 
a rat, and presently he caught the eye of the 
Judge, and smiles and winks were simultane- 
ously exchanged, and the boy's trial was post- 
poned, and he was again conducted to his 
gloomy cell. On the second day following, 
Mr. Russell, myself, the boy's aunt, and a well 
clad, and very genteel one-arm man, went to 
the office of Frederick A. Tallmadge, the Re- 
corder, and the Straw Bail Court was opened, 
in whose infamous proceedings I enacted as 
vile a part as Russell or Tallmadge, or the 
neatly attired, and otto-perfumed, and sleek 
haired one-arm man, who was engaged by 
Russell to be the spurious bail, although my 
motives were on the side ot humanity, and 
theirs on the side of gilded lucre. The Re- 
corder said : " "Well, Mr. Russell, please state 
your case," and Russell said : " A lad is con- 
fined in the Tombs on a charge of stealing 
clothing. That he is guilty of theft is not yet 
proved, as he has not had his trial. But his 
aunt and friends are here in deep affliction, 
in whose name I most devoutly pray that 
your honor will release the boy on bail, with 
a solemn pledge from bis aunt and friends that 
he will immediately be sent to sea." A few 
winks, and blinks, and intelligent smiles, 
graced the eyes, and lips, and cheeks, and 
temples of several persons present, while the 
Recorder was considering the merits of the 
case, with his perturbed and thoughtful visage 
buried within his hands, which he anon re- 
moved, and desired the friend of the boy to 
come forward, who was prepared to be his 
bail, and presto! the long-haired, and smiling, 
and smooth-faced, and fragrant, and well 
dressed one-arm man, appeared in front of the 
Recorder, and with a great display of New 
York or London assurance, he signed the docu- 
ment that restored to liberty one of the 
shrewdest little rogues of the age. The boy's 
aunt thanked Mr. Russell and the Recorder, 
and the one-arm man and myself went through 
the same formality, (I apologising to Russell 
for my harsh words at the Tombs,) and we 
separated, and the boy's aunt went home in 
an omnibus, and I went to the Tombs, to wit- 
ness the discharge of the culprit captive boy. 
He was released from his cell, and both Turn- 
key and Russell warned me to beware of the 
Judge, and we descended the prison steps, and 
I shall never forget the shock we received as 
we were passing through the prison yard, at 
meeting the Sessions Judge, who had just got 
information of Russell's operations, and would 
doubtless have detained the boy until he got 
his share of tho thirty dollars from Russell. 
But the boy adroitly, aud like lightning, turn- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



3 



ed his head, and the Judge passed on without 
recognising or suspecting that the boy was 
already on his way to liberty. "We paused a 
moment at the prison gate and desk, where 
the boy's name was carefully examined on the 
books, and the boy severely scrutinised, and 
the clerks imparted their sly and extremely 
expressive leers, and the last prison gate was 
opened, and the boy was free, and went to 
his aunt's boarding house, and rushed into her 
arms, who swooned, and fell like a corse to 
the floor, and was with difficulty restored to 
consciousness. Like the pure and noble Soc- 
rates, I always conceived it a monstrous 
crime to illegally effect the liberation of cap- 
tives, and I repeat, that in all this violation of 
law, and stupendous villainy, I knew that I 
was enacting as vile a part as Russell and Tall- 
madge, and the One- Arm Straw Bail Scamp, 
but it has always been a pleasing solace to 
know that sympathy, and not money, led me 
to embark in a plot to effect the liberation 
of a notorious little convict. Lawyer Russell 
and Recorder Tallmadge subsequently became 
(and are now) the City Judge and Superin- 
tendent of Police of the great commercial 
metropolis of the "Western "World, and the 
one-arm man I recently saw in Broadway, 
and on the steps of the Tombs, as glossy as 
ever with sweet oil and broadcloth, and who 
always reminded me of that class of conspira- 
tors under the monster Cataline, whom Cicero 
describes as past all hope of a restoration to 
private or public virtue. I subsequently 
learned that the one-arm man was a penniless 
and cunning and thievish vagabond, and had 
subsisted for years from what he got from 
straw bail lawyers, for being bail to prisoners. 
I do not positively know that the Recorder 
knew he was utterly irresponsible, and even 
if he did, he may have accepted him as bail, 
from motives of the purest humanity, although, 
in doing so, he must have known that he was 
violating and degrading his position as a lead- 
ing City Magistrate, and that he was treacher- 
ous and ungrateful to the people who kindly 
elected him to protect their lives and pro- 
perty from the thieves and murderers of the 
metropolis. But we are of the opinion that 
Russell powerfully aided Tallmadge in his elec- 
tion as Recorder, and that there was collusion 
between them, and that they both knew what 
a miserable scamp and outcast the straw bail 
one-arm man was and is to this day. It now 
devolved on me to send the boy to sea, and 
the aunt signified her readiness to aid me, and 
to procure his' sea clothes, and the boy was 
willing to go, and I went on board of several 
vessels, and at last obtained him a situation as 
cabin boy, but his health was very delicate, 
and I feared he would die, and I could not let 
him go to sea. I then proposed that he 
should visit the village in Connecticut, where 
he went to school before his grandmother 
died, in order to recruit his health, and his 
aunt gave him some money, and he left for the 
country, to return in the autumn, and obtain 
a situation in some respectable pursuit. His 
aunt left the city, to join her theatrical com- 
pany, and I continued in my business as 
teacher of colored and Irish and other ser- 
vants. I soon received a letter from the boy, 
informing me that he was in a very melan- 
choly mood — that his old school mates 
had all left the village, and the peo- 
ple with whom he formerly boarded had 
learned of his thefts through the newspapers, 
and he desired to return to the city. I wrote 
immediately, and directed him to come to the 
city, and I would strive to get him a place to 
learn a trade, and did so, but he soon left, and 
got into vicious society, and I had to let him 
pursue his own course, as I was very poor and 
ill, and he had nearly worn me to the grave. 
The next I heard of him, was that lie had been 
arrested in Philadelpha, and taken to Boston, 



where he had committed forgery, in connec- 
tion with an old convict. He wrote me several 
letters from the Boston jail, which I could 
scarcely road, in consequence of their melan- 
choly character. I wrote to his aunt in vain, 
as she either did not receive my letters, or, if 
she did, concluded to leave him to his awful 
fate. He turned State's evidence, and thus got 
his term of punishment reduced from five to 
three years. I visited him at the prison in 
Charlestown, and I was the only person of his 
acquaintance, who went to see him during his 
long imprisonment. I also, by his request, sent 
him the New York Evangelist and Observer, 
and other New York papers. The kind Super- 
intendent of the Prison often wrote me, that 
the boy was popular with the officers of the 
Prison, and also with the prisoners in the 
Sunday school, and prayer meetings, and 
in the debating Society of the captives, 
and was a leader in all the religious and musi- 
cal and literary exercises of the prison. His 

time expired, and he came to New York, and immediately 
flew to me. I gave him money, and he soon ascertained in 
what part of the country his aunt was engaged in her pro- 
fession of theatricals, and he soon found her, and became 
an actor, although he had promised his Grandmother on 
her dying bed that he would never be an actor. He subse- 
quently performed in this city, at Burton's in Chamber 
street, and Burton discharged him and leveled a revolver at 
his head, for a suspected intimacy with an actress. He 
went to Providence, where we saw him perform at the Thea- 
tre in Westminster street. The New York Police Gazette 
attacked him and exposed his antecedents, whose publica- 
tion he assured me Burton obtained and paid for, to injure 
him and drive him from this section of the country, and I 
told him he had no right to cast affectionate glances at Bur- 
ton's actress ; that Burton was justified in his revenges even 
unto death, and I advised him to leave New England and 
the central States, and he did, and got married, and had 
children, and I recently saw his affable and accomplished 
aunt, who told me that her nephew had risen to the summit 
of his profession, and that he was a good husband and 
father, and that he was rapidly accumulating a splendid 
fortune And now, dear reader, you may enjoy this exci- 
ting and truthful narrative, but I do not. And I will tell you 
the reason why. This boy has become a valuable member of 
society, and entertains multitudes of his species, and ex- 
cites tjieir mirth and grateful sadness, and arouses their ha- 
tred of dishonor and oppression, and is, like every merito- 
rious actor, an honor and a benefactor of his race. And 
hence it is most acutely painful to array his past sad ca- 
reer before his vision and the world. And yeti had to dis- 
close his melancholy story, in order to expose the rascality 
of Ihe officials of this Metropolis. And here again I am 
in sack cloth. For Judge Russell is the ardent friend of 
James Gordon Bennett, who has clung to me in days of ill- 
ness and penury and gloom, when I often expected to 
drop dead in the streets of New York. And then again, 
Wm. Curtis Noyes married the favorite daughter of Superin- 
tendent Frederick A. Tallmadge, and Mr. Noyes has been 
like a brother to me, and has loaned me money to buy bread 
and shoes during my recent pecuniary calamities, when 
nearly every being on the face of God's earth refused to 
loan me a farthing to save my trembling frame from starva- 
tion. I weep (as few ever wept, over these melancholy lines), 
to find myself compelled to hold up to wasteless scorn, the 
friends and relatives of Wm. Curtis Noyes and James Gor- 
don Bennett, but I would trample the bones and ashes of 
my father in his coffin, if I knew that he died with the 
odium on his forehead, that wiil pursue Russell and Tal- 
madge to their graves, and forever degrade their unfortu- 
nate posterity. If murder is never out-lawed, these crimes 
are still fresh, and the culprits should be punished. And 
shall friendship screen those public monsters, who render 
New York a purgatory, through their official protection of 
thieves and assassins, and the whole catalogue of human 
devils? Nothing but a voice from Heaven could have 
sawd the head of Benedict Arnold, if George Washington 
had got him in his clutches. And shall Russell and Tall- 
madge and other traitors to justice and the people, be 
screened from the public execration, because I love the hu- 
manity and private succor of their friends and kindred ? 
No, no. In tones of thunder and earthquakes, and the 
crash of a trillion worlds, no, no, no. I now have a Press 
to expose the public villains, and I will stab down to igno- 
minious graves, and to hell itself, all the plunderers and 
murderers and accursed traitors of my adored country. 
And I defy the Universe in arms to paralyze the Will 
that dissects the precocious monsters of this pernicious 
age. 



5t*plun f . §nuu|»'s gtlligatffr, 



NEW YOKE, SATURDAY, MAY 29, 1858. 



Degradation*. — Mayor Tiemanu walked arm in arm with 
George \V. Matsell, in "front of the City Hall, (while the for- 
mer reviewed the Eighth Ward Police,) to the disgust of pri- 
vate citizens and the policemen themselves. We recently 
intimated that Peter Cooper, James W. Gerard, Ambrose C. 
Kingsland, and Mayor Tiemaiin were afraid of Matsell' s Black 
Book. Tiemann's review of the Police, leaning on the arm of 
Matscll, (with Talmadge coldly neglected in the background,) 
partially corroborates our assertion with reference to the May- 
or. And we believe that Matsell could make Tiemann take 
his arm and parade in worse localities than the Park, and 
could make him kiss his big toe, or force him to degrade him- 
self, or distribute his vast patronage as the alien perjurer, and 
inhuman abjurer of his native land demanded. 



What induced Frank Leslie to attack the Milkmen 7 To 
make money from the sale of his nauseous pictures. Ami thus 
benificenoe flows from mercenary minds. Leslie is a British 
alien, and cares far less about American cows, and milk, and 
poisoned infants, than the American dollar. The town is in a 
perfect uproar about rat's bane milk, but all will so<m be as 
placid as a summer sea. Gilded metal will soon heal the hu- 
man palm of all its ills. We have witnessed these milk spasms 
all our days, and we lived near the Sixteenth street depot, 
many years ago, and nearly died from the poisonous atmos- 
phere. Let fathers and mothers', and grandfathers and grand- 
mothers assemble at these murderous depots, and saturate the 
guts of the proprietors with their bloody and scabby milk 
poison, and then put them in a pillory, and pelt them with 
rotten eggs, and then tie them to a whipping post, and give 
them a thousand lashes, with cow tails, until their backs are 
raw down to their bone and marrow. And we doubt if even 
this terrible scourge would drive them from their fatal avoca- 
tion. For years on years our most respectable citizens have 
petitioned the Common Council to destroy these poisonous 
milk establishments, hut their proprietors have always united 
and bought a majority of the members of the Common Coun- 
cil to refuse their just and humane petitions. And where is 
Ex-Mayor Ilavemeyer, who has resided within a stone's throw 
of the Sixteenth street cow establishment for twenty succes- 
sive years ? He, alone, could have released those poor dumb 
animals, and have saved the lives of ten thousand infants. 
And we had rather incur the perils of twenty murderers at 
the har of God, than the mysterious and incredible leniency of 
Ex-Mayor Havemeyer towards the milk assassins, who have 
committed their deeds of hell under his very nostrils at the 
foot of Sixteenth street during a third of his mortal career. 
G"d's wrath on him should and will be terrible indeed for hia 
inhuman dereliction. 

CAN Major Tiemanu or Peter Cooper inform us who origi- 
nated tli<- Ward Island speculation, through which the city 
has been and will be plundered till doomsday 7 We will bet 
heavily, that Tienianu and Cooper know more about the Ward 
Island purchases than they would like to disclose. We shall see. 

We approach our career as a lover in the next chapter of 
our '" Life." We dread this, as it is nearly the only portion of 
the past that we review with sadness. But we must com- 

iin-i tin- painful task in the next number of the Alligator, 

which will elicit many a tear and smile from the curious chil- 
dren of Adam and Eve, hut there will be more tears than 
smiles from us, aa we record, for coming ages, cur most extra- 
ordinary domestic history. The Turks and Mormons and de- 
scendants of the amorous patriarchs will wildly stare, when 
they peruse our legal relations with human divinities. 

Who was the confidential friend of Joseph S. Taylor? 
Mayor Tiemann. — Who was forever prowling around the 
Street Commissioner's Office in the days of Jo. Taylor ? May- 
or Tiemann. — Who boasted that he could always control the 
vote of Ex-Governor Tiemann? Jo. Taylor. And who al- 
ways did control the vote of Ex-Governor Tiemann? Jo. 
Taylor!— O Moses! 



A vouvg scamp sends us a threat. 
with K., which is the initial of " Knell !' 
understand? 



Hia surname begins 
Knave! Dost thou 



And pay thy debts, 
And cease thy threats, 
And Godless frets. 



Go to thy work, 

With probe and fork, 

And earn thy pork, 
Coward ! Save your ink and paper and valuable time, and 
bring your threat, and we will spank you, or we are no 
American. 



Some complain of the length of our articles, but let all read 
them understanding^, and they will find them abort and 
sweet as 'lasses. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S57, by 

STEPHEN II. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H- Branch. 

Some students met to play a game of card?, 
■when one proposed to bet some money, which 
was accepted. This led to universal betting. 
Cauldwell, of Virginia, proposed a heavy bet, 
which I accepted and won. Cauldwell then 
asked me to accompany him to his room, 
where we could play by ourselves, and I went, 
and we gambled several nights, including Sun- 
day. We were about even, and I proposed to 
play a limited number of games and stop, as I 
loathed gambling, and feared it might lead to 
a gambler's fate. My proposition was accept- 
ed, and at the close of the games, he owed me 
about eighty dollars, which he paid me the 
following day, which closed my gambling at 
Cambridge. I seldom attended the recitations 
at the Law School of Judge Story and Profes- 
sor Greenleaf, but rode fast horses with the 
Southern students, and accompanied them to 
the opera of Mr. and Mrs. Wood, in Boston, 
and other places of amusement and dissipa- 
tion. My sojourn at Cambridge cost my 
father a large sum, for which I acquired 
nothing. And, disgusted with myself and 
lamenting my ingratitude to my father, I pro- 
posed to leave Cambridge, and return to An- 
dover, to which, to my surprise, my father 
readily acceded. I engaged excellent board 
and parlor, and hired a horse daily for exer- 
cise, and employed three private teachers in 
English, Greek,"and Latin, and I studied fifteen 
hours a day for six months, and acquired a 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



more critical knowledge of principles than 1 
had obtained in all my life. I nave ray En- 
glish teacher two dollars an hour, who devoted 
(our hours a day in recitation and explanation. 
I gave my Greek and Latin teachers two dol- 
lars an hour, who each taught me two hours a 
day. I permitted no one to visit mo, save my 
teachers, and my only recreation was a ride 
on horseback every day. Large as my hills 
were, my noble father paid them without a 
murmur. The only serious mistake 1 made 
daring my residence at Audover, was a jour- 
ney to Washington, by invitation of Nathaniel 
P. Causin, Jr., who, during his visit to Provi- 
dence, while I was in the Post Office, was in- 
troduced to me by Trista a Barges, Jr. I 
thought youug Tristam neglected Causin, and 
I introduced him to the. students and pretty 
girls of Providence, for which he often ex- 
pressed the warmest gratitude in letters from 
Washington, and I at length favorably re- 
sponded to his frequent importunities to visit 
him. So fond was Causin of me, that while I 
was in the Law School at Cambridge, he de- 
sired to join me in my class, and room with 
me, and actually packed his trunks at Wash- 
ington for his departure to Cambridge, but I 
advised him to go to the New Haven Law 
School, as I did not dare have him come to 
Cambridge while I had the itch, lest he might 
catch it, through our constant intimacy. I 
left Andover with one hundred dollars, and 
was warmly received by Causin on my arrival 
in Washington. He accompanied me to the 
President's, to cither House of Congress, to 
the Executive Departments, and to Mount 
Vernon, where we fertilized the tomb of 
Washington with our tears. And he now 
proposes a dinner iff honor of me, to which 
the distinguished ladies and gentlemen of 
Washington are to be invited, which made me 
nervous, and I send a note affecting sudden 
illness, when Causin comes and implores rac 
to accompany him in a carriage to his father's. 
I feared to go as the lion of such a gay and 
polished throng, as doubtless would be there, 
but I yield to his irresistible persuasion, and 
assure him that I will come in the evening. 
Causin departs, and I repair to the abode of a 
Virginian in Washington, who was a famous 
linguist at Cambridge, and inform him that I 
am invited to an intellectual festival, at which 
would he the genius and beauty of Washing- 
ton, and that as it was a compliment to me, I 
trembled lest I should be forced to give a toast 
or make a speech, or be propounded questions 
which I could not answer with fluency and 
accuracy. My friend sympathises, and con- 
sents to go, and talk to them, if necessary, in 
six languages, and give them toasts, and 
speeches, and answer all the questions they 
could ask in the whole range of the sciences, 
and freely partake of all the liquids and solids 
they could place before him. And he directs 
me to be sure and sit close beside him, ami 
when I get cornered, to pinch him, and lie 
will monopolise the conversation, and keep up 
such a loud and everlasting chatter, that I can 
have no possible chance to respond to the 
questions of the guests. Young Causin's fa- 
ther was the physician of Henry Clay, and 
other Senators and Representatives, and when 
I enter the parlor and behold Clay himself 
towering above the assembled intelligence and 
dazzling magnificence of our National Capital, 
I thought I 6hould fall, and leaned firmly on 
the arm of my accomplished companion for 
support. With Causin as our faithful guide, 
we passed around, and bowed to the intellec- 
tual guests, and their lovely wives and daugh- 
ters, who gleamed with jewels, and formed a 
brilliant constellation. My Virginia friend 
•was perfectly at home, and shook the hand of 
Clay with as much nonehalence as if he had 
been his own father, and saluted the wives 
and virgin coquettes like his own mother and 



sisters; and one glorious and irresistible crea- 
ture, I thought he would kiss and conquer on 
the spot, so interminably did their tongues 
revel in French, Spanish, and Italian. lint I 
was giddy, and asked Causin for water, and 
through this happy pretext, emerge from the 
gorgeous display. My friend desires to linger, 
but I twitch and coax him to leave with 
myself and Causin, as I fear he might seat 
himself at the approaching dinner beside some 
black-eyed maiden, and thus place mo in the 
dilemma I had sought to avoid by inviting 
him to the festival. We descend the stairs, 
and drink wine, and smoke segars until the 
gong summons us to the banquet. Causin 
clings to me, and I to the Virginian, and wo 
seat ourselves in the centre of the table with 
myself between Causin and my guest. The 
covers are removed, and the posterity of about 
all the ducks, and hens, and roosters, and 
flocks, and herds, that were preserved in the 
Ark are in the arms of death before us, for 
their last grind and annihilation. But as I 
was a professed invalid, I dared not eat, al- 
though my stomach craved the ducks and 
veuison most acutely. After the poor ani- 
mals were hacked and devoured, the pastry, 
jellies, cream, and fruits appear in such pro- 
fusion, that it seemed as though Java, Madeira, 

the tropics, Indies, and all of the Mediterranean isles had 
heen pillaged and desolated to appease our palates, ami corks 
flew like rockets, and rivalled tile reverberations of rifles in a 
siege. I drank some wine, but was extremely cautious, and 
more than once besought Causin to let me retire, hut he per- 
emptorily refused. And now the majestic form of Clay 
arises, who addresses the ladies in a straiu of fervor and exhil- 
aration that fascinated every heart. He then addressed the 
gentlemen, and when about to close, rests his searching eyes 
on me. I begin to tremble, and when be articulates my name 
as the distinguished guest of the occasion, I can scarcely 
breathe, and uneonsciausly take a glass of brandy (for water) 
which was designed for my Virginia friend, and which nearly 
choked me, and plunged me in deeper misery. The great 
Kentuckian closed with a glowing eulogium on Rhode Island, 
and her manufactures, and warriors, and statesmen, and lin- 
gered on the genius, and valor, and eloquence, and patriotism 
of Greene and Perry, and Tristam Burges. All eyes are now 
upon me, and I pinch the Virginian in vain, and fear paraly- 
sis, unless he instantly relieves me. So, having a gold tooth- 
pick in my hand, I plunge it into his leg as far as it would go, 
and op lie sprang as though suddenly gaivauised, and breathed 
a strain of eloquence worthy of tie: best days of old Virginia. 
He extenuated my non-response to the pleasing remarks of 

the distinguished Kentuckian, on the ground of mdiapoaiti 

and, after happy allusions to the patriotism of Rhode Island, 
Virginia, and Kentucky, in the darkest period of American 
history, he rivctted his piercing eyes on the magnificent array 
of female loveliness, and entranced the sweet angels with 
language as luxuriant as Antony's to Cleopatra, in the high 
antiquity of Roman and Egyptian splendor. The matrons 
smiled, and the virgins clapped their tiny and lily fingers, and 
the gentlemen struck the table, and stamped their feet, and 
rose, and ejaculated bravo! Senators, and Representatives, 
and scholars spoke in strains of powerful eloquence, and elic- 
ited enthusiastic praise. All now arise, and repair to the 
parlors, where vocal and instrumental music, and dancing, 
und waltzing, and Intellectual communion of the moat solid 
and brilliant minds of our country, close the pleasing exer- 
cises of the memorable occasion. The Virginian departs for 
his abode near the President's, and Causin and myself go to 
Gadsby's. While strolling on Pennsylvania Avenue, on the 
following evening, Causin Baid : "Branch, in yonder marble 
edifice is a band of gamblers, where many a promising youth 
and meritorious gentleman have been ruined tor ever." I ac- 
company Causin to his residence, and listen to the delightful 
music of his sister, and invite him to dine with me on the 
followieg day, and leave for Gadsby's, and halt at the petal 
of the gambler's den, and thus soliloquise : " My expenses 
have In ,11 more than I anticipated, and 1 have hardly suffi- 
cient funds to pay my bills, and reach Cambridge, and a week 
must elapse ere 1 can obtain money from my father. I have 
always been fortunate in the halt a dozen times I have gam- 
Ided.'aud I will try my luck once more, and for the last time," 
and I enter the gamester's hell, and drink some delicious 
wine, and eat some turkey and pickled oysters, and advance 
t., tlio g. oning table, and in one hour I am penniless. I return 
to Gadsby's, and retire, but cannot sleep, rolling from side to 
to side like a ship in a howling tempest, t'ansiu and his 
cousin dine with me, and after dinner, we stroll in the beauti- 
ful paths around the noble Capitol, and visit some lovely girls 
in the evening, whom Causin bad known from ebildoood, tind 
we separated at nearly midnight. I then go to the gamester, 
.mil beseech him to restore a portion of the money I had lust, 
to convey me to my distant home, which he refuses with the 
glances 'il a demon. 1 then go to a Member ot Congress from 
Rhode Island, who was a friend of my father, and ask him to 
loan me sufficient to pay my bills and defray my expenses to 
Audover, which he readily vouchsafes, tin the following 
morning, I go to Causin's, and bid himself and father and 
mother and sister a warm adieu, and depart for Andover by- 
way of Hartford and Worcester. I knew the son of the 
Superintendent of the Lunatic Asylum at Worcester while he 
was a student at Brown University, in Providence, aud am 
anxious to see him, and leave my hotel about 10 P. M. for the 
Asylum, which was in the suburbs of Worcester. On arriv- 
ing at tile gate, I am permitted to enter after a hrief delay, 
and proceed to the Institution. I had not gone far, when I 
am attacked by two huge Newfoundland dogs. I coax one, 
aud intimidate the other, and advance. ( >n reaching the 
front entrance of the Institution, I find it closed, and pass 
round t.. the rear, and enter the basement, where 1 lind a 
solitary candle emitting its last beams, aud a stout luna- 
tic is seated in the corner, who instantly approaches 
me with distended tongue, ejaculating : " Lar, lar," 
about a dozen times in rapid succession, when I 
inquired: "Is young Mr. Clark at home," to which 
he responds, with both hand* on my shoulders: "Lar, 



lar, cbick-a-de-dee." and his eyes rolled fearfully, and his 
tongue appears and disappears with the velocity of an angry 
rattle snake's. I am alaruied, and strive in vain to extricate 
my shoulders from his giant grasp, when he knocks oft" my hat, 
and grabs my hair, and pulls it so hard that I cry murder, and 
be releases bis hand, and kisses me, with both arms around my 
neck. While picking up my hat, lie gratis me again around 
the waist, aud belehcB his infernal " lar, lar," and protrudes 
his tongue, and laughs like thunder, and again incloses my 
neck with his long arms, and evinces the affection of a bear, 
and squei ■/.. s me so hard, that I can scarcely speak or breathe, 
when I summon all the vigor that God and Nature gave me, 
and cast him fearfully to the floor, and run for my life, with 
the lunatic and both dogs close at my heels. I proceed not 
tiir, when a hall comes whizzing by, which is fired by a senti- 
nel from the window of the Asylum, which increases my 
speed, and presently down I go all sprawling into a vault, that 
was partially cleansed that day, or 1 would have been instant- 
ly drowned from a most awful suffocation. 1 crawl out, with 
the aid of the man at the gate, who comes to my rescue when 
he hears the report of the rifle, and the hark of tile dogs. Pres- 
ently the sentinel comes, and I accompany them into the 
dreary basement of the Asylum, where the caudle is in its linal 
throes, when youug Clark makes his appearance, aud, after 
recognising my voice, is about to embrace me, when I most 
solemnly warn him to stand off, and, for God's sake, to forbear 
until I am scraped and washed, and freshly clad. He runs to 
his bed room, and brings apparel, and a tub, and soon 1 am 
clean as mountain snow, and we eat and drink and smoke aud 
sing and laugh until the daylight does appear; aud at meridian, 
I leave Worcester for Andover, resolving never to Leave again, 
until I close my intellectual career in its sacred aud melliflu- 
ous groves. 

(To be continued to our last roam.) 



Legislative Robbers. 

There is a small tornado in the coffee-pot 
about the scamps who bought a majority of 
the Municipal and Rural Legislative Members 
to vote them a lease of the Washington Mar- 
ket property. Words and threats and Legis- 
lative and Court appeals are all moonshine. — 
When the scoundrels who lobbied the obnox- 
ious Bill through the Legislature with gold 
appear in Washington Market, let the butch- 
ers and fishermen and hucksters seize them 
and put a cable around their necks, and carry 
them to the piers' extremities, where big sharks 
often roam, and sink them to the water's bed, 
and draw them to the surface very slowly, 
and let them blow as long as a porpoise, and 
sink them again, and yet again, trebly and 
quadruply, until they relinquish their Dev-lin- 
ish claim to the market property, and swear 
on the surface of the chilly waters, that they 
will never shadow the Capitol with their 
odious carcases during their natural lives. 
This is the only mode, in these degenerate 
days, of foiling the thievish propensities of the 
leading traffic rogues of the Republican, 
American, and Democratic parties. All other 
means will prove idiotic abortions. 



The following meritorious gentlemen are 
wholesale agents for the Alligator. 

Ross&Tousey, 121 Nassau street. 
Hamilton & Johnson, 22 Ann street. 
Samnol Yates, 22 Beekman street. 
Mike Madden, 21 Ann street. 
Cauldwell & Long, 23 Ann street. 
Boyle & Gibson, 32 Ann street and 
Hendrickson & Blake, 25 Ann street. 

Advertisements— One Dollar a line 

IN ADVANCE. 

AUG. Itl<i\l wo, sMiTHSOM V* 1M KWS 
DEPOT, Books and Stationery, 60S BROADWAY, cor- 
ner of Houston street. 

Subscriptions for American or Foreign Papers or Books, 
from the City or Country, will be promptly attended to. 

Foreign Papers received by every steamer. Store open 
from 6 A. M. to 11 P. M throughout the week. 



PC.GOUFRKY, STATlO.Vtill, BIM'KSHi- 
. I.EK and General Newsdealer, 831 Broadway, 
New York, near 13th street. 
At Godfrey's — Novels, Books, &c, all the new ones cheap. 
At Godfrey's — Magazines, Fancy Articles, Ac, cheap. 
At Godfrey's— Stationery of all kinds cheap. 
At Godfrey's — All the Daily and Weekly Papers. 
At Godfrey's — Visiting Cards Printed at 75 cents per pack. 
At Godfrey's — Ladies Fashion Books of latest date. 

THERE IS SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS 

IN THE 

PICAYUNE. 

You are sincerely warned not to look at THE PICAYUNE. 
AVOID THE PICAYUNE ! 

SHUN THE PICAYUNE ! 
Or if you must have it, STEAL it. 



AMERICANS— TO THIS RKSCUK ! 

J0BS0N, in his RED FLAG, of the 24th inst. (published on 
Thursday), is mauling your beloved Bennett and L N. 
Bonaparte, in a manner the most inhuman. 

STOP HIM ! by buying and burning a copy of his san- 
guinary Journal, for 8 cents, at the office, 102 Nassau street, 
or any respectable Newsvender. 



EXCELSIOR PRINT, 211 CENTRE-ST., N. Y. 




Volume I.— No. 7.] 



SATURDAY, JUNE 5, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S57, by 

STEPHEN II. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H Branch. 

While pursuing my studies at Andover. I 
am corresponding with a girl who resides in 
my native city. There were girls in Provi- 
dence far mora beautiful than her, (and whose 
parents were more affluent than hers,) from 
whom I could doubtless have selected a com- 
panion for life, but her father had been a boy 
with my father, and she loved me as a sister 
her brother, or as a fond mother loves her 
precious offspring. These truths had their in- 
fluence with me. Moreover, this girl had pur- 
sued me for years, and (to illustrate her devo- 
tion) if I went to a ball, she was there. If I 
took my position in a cotilion, she would soon 
be opposite, and staring me broadly in the face, 
and, as we crossed over, she would cast the 
most tender glances, and press my hand with 
deep affection. If I proposed to dance with 
her, her eyes would kindle with the wildest 
enthusiasm. If I went to church, site would 
be in the next pew, and enter mine, if it were 
not full. If I turned a corner, I often would 
meet her. If I looked behind, while prome- 
nading Westminster, (the Broadway of Prov- 
idence,) she would often be prancing towards 
me like an Arabian courser. She would ad- 
dress letters to herself through the Post 
Office, and call for them when I was at the 
letter delivery. If I went to a party, she 
would contrive to get an invitation, and a day 
seldom passed, when I did not see her. 
Juliet never loved Romeo more fervently than 
she loved me. And because I knew she loved 
me as no virgin ever loved, I resolved to have 
her. All her kindred favored our union, and 
before I went to Andover, her father came, on 
summer evenings, to the Post Office, and 
conversed with me in the most friendly tones. 
So, in the Autumn of 1836, I bade adieu to 
Andover, forever, and repaired to Provi- 
dence, and married her at her father's. The 
wedding was large and magnificent. My father 
obtained me a clerkship in the Rhode Island 
Cloth Hall, but manufactures were long de- 
pressed, and its directors resolved to close its 
affairs, which deprived me of a situation. 
The commercial desolation of 1837 was in 
embryo, and merchants wore curtailing, and 
extensive failures transpired, and clerks and 
mechanics were discharged throughout the 
country, and my father could obtain no lucra- 
tive employment for me, and dared not estab- 
lish me in business in such a frightful panic. 
Myself and wife resided at her father's. I 



made several journeys to Boston and New 
York for a clerkship, but I could obtain none. 
The Spring of 1837 arrived. I was proud 
and ambitious. Heartless comments were 
made, all over Providence, about my idle- 
ness, and my prolonged residence with the 
parents of my wife. I got uneasy, and was 
mortified beyond expression and endurance. 
I made a final passage to New York, and re- 
solved, if I obtained no employment, to have 
a crisis. I could procure no situation, and 
went to Philadelphia, where I was also un- 
successful. I saw an advertisement for a clerk 
in Westchester, Pennsylvania, whither I re- 
paired, but a clerk had been obtained. My 
means were nearly exhausted, and I strove to 
sell a diamond ring and gold pencil case to 
the barkeeper, and was suspected as a thief, 
and arrested, and my trunks examined in the 
presence of a large crowd, who came to the 
Hotel from every part of the town. I was 
honorably acquitted, and instantly left for 
Philadelphia, where I sold my ring and pencil 
case, and proceeded to New York, where I 
sold my watch. I now became desperate, 
and resolved to bring matters to an imme- 
diate consummation. I wrote a letter to father, 
and told him that I was almost deranged, and 
besought him to save me. The banks sus- 
pended specie payment on the day I wrote to 
my father, and the whole country was a com- 
mercial ruin. Father wrote me, that he had 
spent thousands of dollars for my education, — 
had recently paid my debts in Andover and 
Providence, amotmti ng to a thor.s tnd dollars, — 
had let me have large sums since my mar- 
riage, — was not worth over twenty thousand 
dollars, — feared he might soon be compelled 
to assign his property, and could obtain no 
clerkship for me while the money panic 
raged. I proceeded to New Haven, and wrote 
to him again, and he responded that he would 
see my father-in-law, and pledge himself to 
meet him half-way in any proposition he 
might make to save me, if he sacrificed his 
last dollar. I went to Norwich, and wrote 
him again, and he informed mo that he had 
seen my father-in-law. who declined to aid 
me to the extent of a penny, and said that 1 
must effect my salvation in my own way. 
Although my father-in-law was worth several 
hundred thousand dollars, he had let mo have 
but twenty-five dollars before orsince my mar- 
riage, and when he placed this amount in my 
hand, he sneeringly exclaimed : " I always 
like to help the unfortunate." In view of all 
this, I loathed my father-in-law, and loved 
my father, and wrote a fearful letter to both, 
(superscribing it to the former,) threatening 



to visit Providence, and tear their hearts out 
if they did not instantly relieve me. I in- 
cluded my father in this awful letter, so that 
my father-in-law could not be the sole com- 
plainant against me, as I feared he would con- 
sign me to prison for years, if possible. And 
I was fortunate in including my beloved father 
in my dreadful letter, as the sequel will show. 
I then advanced to Seituate, about ten miles 
from Providence, and wrote another letter to 
my father and father-in-law, threatening to 
come to Providence on the following day, and 
take their lives, if they did not rescue me 
from my horrible dilemma. Two constables, 
named Gould and Potter, came to Seituate, 
and arrested me at the Hotel of Dr. Battey, 
(from which I had dated my letter,) and took 
me to Providence in a carriage, and put me in 
jail as a debtor, on a debt of five hundred 
dollars, created for the occasion by the wis- 
dom of my father. My father-in-law desired 
to imprison me as a criminal, (as I had antic- 
ipated,) but my father's counsels prevailed, 
and I was saved from a felon's doom. In those 
days, debtors were incarcerated, and I was 
confined in a dark cell, by locks, and bars, and 
bolts, as all Providence feared I would escape, 
and kill my father and father-in-law, and per- 
haps others. Their fears were supremely 
ridiculous, as, if I had seriously con- 
templated their death, I would not have 
told them where 1 was in Seituate, 
nor the precise period that I should come to 
Providence and dispatch them. But my ob- 
ject was attained. 1 meant to have a crisis, 
and I got it with a vengeance on all sides. 
The night I entered my cell was the happiest 
of my life. My bed was on the floor, and rats 
and bugs crawled over me to their hearts' 
content. I never slept more sweetly, though 
occasionally aronsed by the enormous rata 
squealing and nibbling at my nose. The privy 
of the prisoners in the large debtors' apart- 
ment joined my cell, and the stench was al- 
most intolerable, and yet I soon became ac- 
customed even to that, and for days I laughed 
and danced and sang as never, for I had emerged 
from anxiety and torture approximating purga- 
tory itself. Mr. Parker, a debtor, soon joined 
me in my cell, and we played cards, and nar- 
rated our curious experience, and had a merry 
time ; but Parker obtained his liberty, and I 
was again alone, and I soon got melancholy, 
and I wept bitterly over the calamities of my 
beloved wife, through her penurious and de- 
mon father. In three weeks I was permitted 
the freedom of the jail, which imparted per- 
fect bliss to my disconsolate mind. I review- 
ed my classics and mathematics in prison, and 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



some faithful companions called, and time 
again passed merrily. In six weeks my father 
(■:imc, and (as my only complainant) effected 
my discharge, hy withdrawing his fictitious 
suit for debt against me. lie accompanied me 
in a carriage to the steamboat, and gave me 
money, with his most affectionate blessing, 
and I departed for New York, an outcast, in 
company with a dear relative named Frank- 
lin Oooley, who had been very kind to me 
during my entire confinement, and through 
all my days. I left my benefactor in New 
York, and departed for Albany, and went to 
my Aunt Lucy's, whom I had not seen for ten 
years, who resided in the town of Groveland, 
near Genesee, in Livingston County, in the 
State of New York. My grandfather, on the 
mother's side, left Connecticut forty years ago, 
in consequence of extreme melancholy, after 
his wife's demise, and buried himself in the 
wilderness of Groveland, and wrote to none 
of his kindred for twenty years. He first 
worked on a farm, and as the country became 
more populous, he taught school and realized 
enough to buy him a farm from the famous 
Mr. Wadsworth, whom he knew in youth in 
Connecticut. At the expiration of twenty 
years, he wrote to East Hartford, Ct., and his 
surviving daughter, Lucy, with her husband, 
a drunken and cruei vagabond, went to Grove- 
land, and in about five years after their arrival, 
my grandfather died, and Aunt Lucy and her 
husband coaxed him in his closing hours to 
leave his farm to them, which was worth 
about twenty thousand dollars, one-half of 
which should have reverted to my mother's 
children, who were allowed one dollar each, 
so that they could not break the will. On 
my arrival, I found my aunt's husband drunk, 
and she told me that he had involved the 
farm in debt, which was mortgaged for a large 
amount, and that he treated her like a brute. 
They lived in a one-story hut, consisting of 
one room, and a pigeon-house in the roof. 1 
arrived at midnight, in a stage coach, and as 
there was no house within a mile, I was com- 
pelled to stop all night, but where I was to 
sleep I could not divine. Aunt Lucy asked mo 
if I was prepared to retire, and responding yes, 
she lit a cheap candle, and led me to the rear 
of the hovel, and up she went a ladder, like a 
s jiiirrel, and bade me follow. On arriving at 
the door of the pigeon-house, she suspended 
one leg to enable me to pass her, and then 
gave me the candle, and wo bade each other 
good night, and I crawled in, passing through 
dense partitions of cobwebs, and battalions of 
spiders and rats, and down I lay for the night, 
and counted minutes until the morning's 
dawn, when I emerged from the hideous hole, 
in which I had nearly suffocated. I took 
breakfast, consisting of pork and herring, 
and visited my grandfather's grave in a distant 
field, and departed for Geneseo in the mail 
coach, where I examined my grandfather's 
"Will, and found that my mother's children 
could never obtain their share of his beautiful 
estate. I left for Rochester, and departed for 
Albany in a canal boat, and worked a short 
time in a printing office at Utica. I left for 
New York, and worked a brief period in the 
job office of William A. Mercein, and went to 
Philadelphia, where I worked a week, and 
left for Baltimore, where I found my brother 
Albert, who was a compositor in the printing 
office of the Baltimore Sun, just started by Mr. 
Abel, (an old friend of mine,) whose editor 
and subsequent famous Washington corres- 
pondent was Sylvester S. Southworth. [Mr. 
Abel is a native of Warren, Rhode Island, and 
established the Philadelphia Ledger after the 
Baltimore Sun. In earlier years, Mr. Abel 
and myself often worked side by side as com- 
positors in Providence, Boston, and New 
York.] I worked a few days in Baltimore, 
and arrived in Washington just prior to the 



extra Session of Congress in 1837, and ob- 
tained a situation in the job .office of Gales & 
Seaton, through the influence of their book- 
keeper, Levi Boots, who was a room-mate of 
mine when I worked and boarded with Wm. 
Greer, of the Washington Olobe, during my 
residence in Washington in 1830. I got $10 
a week at Gales & Seaton's, and soon entered 
Columbian College, which was located nearly 
two miles from Washington, whose worthy 
President was Mr. Chapin. I studied nights, 
and recited privately with Professors Ruggles 
and Chaplin, at daylight, and took breakfast 
with the students, and left for Gales & Sea- 
ton's with bread and cold meat, in a littlebas- 
ket, for my dinner, and, after working all day, 
returned to Columbian College at sunset. 
These were the glorious days of the American 
Senate, and I was enchanted with Clay, Cal- 
houn, Webster, Benton, Preston, Crittenden, 
liuchanan, and others, whose eloquence and 
anathema against the public robbers, were 
equal to the philippics of Cicero and Demos- 
thenes against the scoundrels of their respec- 
tive countries. The House of Representatives 
was full of duelists, tigers, monkeys, screech- 
owls, and wild-cats, who formed a perfect 
menagerie. I heard the exciting debate that 
led to poor Cilley's immolation, and attended 
his funeral, whose exercises were the most 
imposing I ever witnessed. I saw the un- 
earthly Calhoun in the mournful procession, 
as it moved from the Capitol, whose brilliant 
eyes reflected the profoundest sorrow. I studi- 
ously avoided my old friend Causin, as I did 
not wish to see him after my terrible rever- 
sion of fortune. But we met by chance in 
the Rotunda of the Capitol, and when I re- 
lated my sad story, he was deeply affected. 
We met again, and he seemed quite friendly, 
but the charm was broken, and our enthusi- 
astic friendship soon became a matter of ob- 
livion. I now receive a letter from William 
Augustus White, (dated Burlington, Vt.,) with 
whom I was intimate in Andover, while I was 
a member of Phillips' Academy, and while I 
studied under private teachers. Young White 
wrote me that the Massachusetts Education 
Society undertook his education, but it had 
failed during the bankruptcy of 1837, and he 
was at the College at Burlington, Vt., and 
knew not what to do, and solicited funds to 
enable him to join me in Washington. I told 
his story to the President and Professors and 
students of Columbian College, and to Gales & 
Seaton, and to Mr. Grouard, the generous fore- 
man of the job office, and other liberal gen- 
tlemen, who contributed money that I for- 
warded to White, and he came to Washing- 
ton, where I obtained him a situation with Mr. 
Abbott, who had a Classical Academy near the 
President's. White roomed with me at Co- 
lumbian College until 1839, when I became 
so ill, that I was compelled to relinquish my 
studies. My blood rushed fearfully to the 
brain, and I was so nervous, that I imagined 
if I spoke beyond a whisper, that I would 
break a blood vessel. I also thought if I ate 
solid food, I would have the cholic as soon as 
it entered my belly. Dr. Thomas Sewell, of 
Washington, came out to the College, and the 
students and professors gathered around my 
bed, and I thought I was about to die, when 
the Doctor, (after punching my belly rather 
roughly,) exclaimed: "Why, Branch, you 
are not dangerously ill, and you could not "die, 
if you wanted to, without suicide. You are 
only nervous and dyspeptic, and you remind 
me of a nervous person recently described 
in an eminent British periodical, who imagin- 
ed that ho had glass legs, and that, if he at- 
tempted to walk, they would snap like pipe 
stems. He made his friends dress him, and 
carry him about the house for a long period, 
until he nearly wore them out, and they re- 
solved to do it no longer ; and believing that 



he could walk as well as they, they determin- 
ed to try an experiment. So, they asked him 
if he would like to take a ride into the coun- 
try. He said he would, if they would put him 
iu the carriage. They first placed masks, 
torches, horns, and Indian apparel in a trunk, 
and placed him in the carriage, and off they 
drove, arriving in a deep wood before sunset, 
and asked him if he would get out, and sit on 
the grass. He said he would, if they would 
take him out. They carefully took him out, 
and seated him on the grass, and then got into 
the carriage, saying that they were going 
back to London, and that, if he accompanied 
them, he must get into the carriage himself, 
which he assured them he could not do, with- 
out breaking his glass legs. So, oft' they drive, 
amid his frantic cries to take him with them. 
In about two hours, a thunder storm arose, 
and four of them, in their frightful disguises, 
rapidly approached him, (amid rain, thunder, 
and lightning,) all masked and attired like 
devils and wild Indians, and made the woods 
ring with drums, and horns, and bagpipes. 
He sat firmly until they were about to inclose, 
and apparently devour him, when he sprang 
to his feet, and ran so fleetly on his supposed 
glass legs, that they pursued him for half a 
mile, and gave up the contest. The)- then re- 
paired to their carriage, and although they 
drove tolerably fast, yet, when they arrived 
at their home in London, they found him sit- 
ting quietly in his easy chair, as though noth- 
ing had transpired, his fancy glass legs having 
distanced the fleetest horses." I had not 
laughed for two months, but Dr. Sewell's 
funny and truthful story made all the students, 
and President, and professors roar, and I had 
to join them against my will. When they all 
retired, I arose from my bed, for the first time 
in ten days, and dressed and shaved myself, 
and raised my voice far beyond a whisper, and 
in one hour talked in my usual tone, and call- 
ed for some beef steak, of which I ate quite 
heartily, and found that my nerves had bam- 
boozled me most shamefully, and I recovered 
rapidly. But I was delicate, and could not 
work at the printing business, and my blood 
concentrated in the brain, and I had to cease 
my severe mental application, and I resolved 
to return to my father's in Providence as the 
prodigal son. Young White accompanied me 
to my father's door, and told my mournful 
story, when my lather embraced me with his 
wonted affection, after an absence of nearly 
three years. 

(To be continued to our last moan.) 



NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JUNE 5, 1858. 



Tins is the seventh week of the Alligator, 
and nearly every editor in this city has had 
the courtesy, and kindness, and generosity to 
notice my efforts to establish a journal on the 
basis of truth and justice, save James Gordon 
Bennett, Horace Greeley, and Henry J. Ray- 
mond. As I have written for the Herald, 
Tribune, and Times nearly since their birth, 
the premeditated slight ot Bennett, Greeley, 
and Raymond seems so impolite and unkind 
and ungenerous, that I have resolved to an- 
alyse the editorial career of these notorious 
big and little villains of the press, who are a 
greater curse to the people of this country 
than all the thieves who ever entered the City 
Hall, or our State or National Capitols. And 
next week I will begin their dissection, and 
pluck out their livers, and cast them to the 
cadaverous and greedy vultures for a choice 
repast, which will present the novel spectacle 
of thievish crows devouring the livers of their 
own species. It is the custom of these editors 
to unite and crush those who dare oppose 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR.-: 



them, and expose their crimes, by refusing to 
let the wholesale newspaper venders have the 
Herald, Tribune, and Times, if they sell the 
public journals of their adversaries. If they 
strive to deprive me of bread, by intimida- 
ting the wholesale newspaper dealers of Ann, 
Nassau, and Beekman streets, so help me God, 
I will enter their editorial closets, and lash 
them until the blood streams from every pore, 
if I am slain in the attempt. Next week, then, 
and as long as I can wield a pen, I will show 
the people of this country how these editors 
blow hot and cold, and black mail, and col- 
lude with thievish politicians, and share their 
spoils, and sell the people ! And from my 
knowledge of Bennett, Greeley, and Raymond 
(after a close communion with them for twen- 
ty years,) I brand them as three of the biggest 
villains that ever breathed. So, next week, 
let the American people prepare for startling 
revelations! 

James E. "Whiting is a man whose head 
commands our profoundest respect, and his 
heart our warmest attachment. This is no age 
for him. He is like a cat in a strange garret 
among the Busteeds, and Connollys, and Pur- 
sers, and Devlins, and Smiths, and Erbens, and 
other perjured aliens and plunderers that 
prowl around the City Treasury. But James 
B. "Whiting would have been adored in the 
halcyon or tumultuous days of the Persian, 
Egyptian, Grecian, or Roman Empires. But 
neither the press nor the people will ever ap- 
preciate his wisdom, patriotism, and sacrifice 
in these degenerate times. God bless James 
R. "Whiting ! and when ho dies, the honest 
people will weep over his departure, as the 
Athenians did over the bones of Socrates, 
whom they kicked, and cufl'ed, and taunted 
with insanity, and accused of corrupting the 
youth of his country, and thrust poison 
down his throat, but they deeply regret- 
ted their folly and cruelty, and the Grecians 
of every age have mourned his melancholy 
fate, and cursed their ancestors for their neg- 
lect and persecution of the scholar and pa- 
triot, and unrivalled Eather of Philosophers, 
since the globe was launched into the atmos- 
pheric waves. 

Peter Cooper's Avarice and Infernal 
Antecedents. 

"We all know how John Jacob Astor and 
Stephen Girard got their first thousand dol- 
lars. And now let us see how Peter Cooper 
obtained his first fifteen hundred dollars. 
"When quite young and penniless, the American 
Government owed Peter Cooper's aunt fifteen 
hundred dollars, as pension money, which Pe- 
ter long besought his aunt to let him strive to 
obtain, and she invested him with the power 
to collect it, and he soon obtained it without 
much difficulty through some of the vagabond 
politicians of those days, for whom he had done 
some dirty work in securing their election to 
Congress and other civil trusts. On obtaining 
the money, Peter requested the parties who 
got it for him never to disclose it, and they 
promised they would cot. After he got it, 
Peter would often visit his sick and needy and 
aged aunt, and assure her that he had not ob- 
tained it, nor would he ever be able to force 
the Government to pay her. One evening a 
friend called on Peter's aunt, (who had been 
absent in a foreign land,) and found her very 
ill, and in the last stages of poverty, having 
sold or pawned nearly all she had. On per- 
ceiving this sad state of her affairs, he ex- 
claimed : " Why, my good lady, how could 
you so rapidly squander the fifteen hundred 
dollars, with interest, that Peter Cooper ob- 
tained for you from our Government, as the 
pension due you for the patriotic services of 
your illustrious kindred ?" She slowly raised 



her skeleton form from the bed, and reclining 
on her hands and side, she said in a husky and 
feeble tone : " My dear nephew, Peter Cooper, 
has often told me that my claim is invalid, and 
that I can never obtain a cent." Her friend 
then started from his chair, and shook her 
hand, and kissed it, and told her to be of good 
cheer, and rushed from the house, and was on 
his way to Washington in one hour, and soon 
returned to New York with a letter from the 
President of the United States, (who knew her 
husband in his early years,) affectionately as- 
suring her that her claim was paid to Peter 
Cooper, as her accredited agent and nephew. 
Great mental excitement and a protracted and 
dangerous illness followed these painful dis- 
closures, during which Peter did not visit her. 
After she partially recovered, she instituted a 
suit against Peter, which he resisted through 
all the Courts for sixteen years, when the 
Court of Appeals directed Peter to pay his 
aunt four thousand and five hundred dollars. 
The instant Peter heard of the Court's fatal 
decision, he mounted a fleet horse and reached 
his aunt's at midnight, and approached her 
with these sweet words : " O, my dear aunt, 
how do you do ? I am so glad to see you. I 
declare, how well and young you look for one 
so old as you. Well, my dear aunt, I have 
come to pay you the money I owe you, which 
I have kept all this time, and opposed you for 
sixteen years in the Courts, simply because 1 
feared if I let you have it, somebody would 
get it away from you, and you would then be 
poor and penniless in your declining years. — 
Now, my dear aunt, I do assure you that I 
always intended to let you have the money; 
but your memory was so very bad, and you 
were always so charitable and easily influ- 
enced, that I thought I could take care of 
your money much better than you, and so I 
have always kept it against my will, and 
solely for your good. And now, dear aunt, I 
have written a receipt for you to sign, and if 
you will just take this pen, and sign it, you 
can have all this money in gold that you see 
in my handkerchief, which will keep you com- 
fortable all your days." And the poor old in- 
firm creature tottered to the table, and put on 
her spectacles, and signed a receipt with her 
skeleton and trembling hand, for two thous- 
and dollars, in full of all demands against Pe- 
ter Cooper, which the unparalleled villain bad 
thus cunningly written to defraud her of the 
balance of two thousand and five hundred dol- 
lars, which the Court of Appeals had directed 
him to pay her, after sixteen years of obstinate 
and wicked litigation on his part. He then 
gave her two thousand dollars, and left her as 
a robber darts from a habitation when its ten- 
ant is after him with a dagger or revolver. 
She threatened to prosecute him for obtaining 
$2,500 through false pretences, and he dared 
her to do it. But she descended from patriotic 
blood, and was so excited and exasperated at 
his wrongs, and disgusted with her species 
and modern kindred, and being superannuated 
and broken-hearted, and literally worn out, 
that, wdiile sitting in her bed dictating a letter 
to the President of the .United States respect- 
ing the monstrous robberies of Peter Cooper, 
she fell back and expired, with her withering 
execrations of her nephew on her lips. And 
it was the belief of the most eminent jurists 
of those days, that her sudden demise saved 
Peter Cooper from a residence of ten years in 
the dungeons of the State. 

Peter Cooper has long bamboozled this city 
and country with his bogus philanthropy. He 
has not, and never will surrender his right, 
nor that of his heirs, to the building bearing 
the imposing inscription of "Union" and "To 
Science and Art." He will let the first four 
stories, and pocket the rent, but the fifth story 
being (like the upper story of the Wall street 
buildings,)almost valueless, and which ho could 



hardly let at all, he designs devoting to human 
learning, by letting it to itinerating lecturers 
for as much as he can squeeze out of them, and 
put that in his pocket also. And from my 
knowledge of his narrow mind, (he having 
been my Grammar pupil in his old age,) I do 
not believe that he will ever let the fifth story 
of his bogus scientific ediflce to any lecturer 
who differs with his political or religions 
views. The penurious old rascal has furnished 
the immortal " Union" and " Science" and 
"Art" fifth story with the dilapidated and 
wormy benches of the old Wash Tub Taber- 
nacle, and of Dr. Spring's old brick church, 
which were too much decayed for a whole- 
some and patriotic or political bonfire. By all 
his noise and imposture about devoting his 
building to " Union, Science, and Art," he has 
succeeded in prohibiting the construction of 
an edifice (on the vacant square at the junc- 
tion of the Third and Fourth Avenues) far 
more beautiful than his, and by foiling that 
project, he greatly enhanced the value of his 
own property. And through his stupendous 
" Union," and " Science" and " Art" imposi- 
tion, he has cheated the New York Common 
Council into voting him a reduction of $8,000 
worth of taxes on his building. There never 
was such a cunning wretch as Peter Cooper, 
whose craft would make the devil himself 
blush. Through his pretended love of his 
species, and his spurious earnest regard for the 
culture of the youth of the present and of 
coming generations, he has foisted the merest 
old granny that ever existed on the noble Me- 
tropolis as Mayor ; and, not content with the 
Mayoralty and nearly all of the Executive De- 
partments in his grasp, this cunning old rat 
directs the Mayor (who married his adopted 
daughter) to appoint his (Peter's) own son 
Edward as Street Commissioner, which is 
worth millions in the hands of such cunning 
old thieves as Peter Cooper and Daniel F. Tie- 
man, who have been stealing the public mo- 
ney through their enormous speculations and 
gigantic suburban operations, ever since they 
entered the Common Council in 1S28. I have 
got the data to write a hundred pages on Pe- 
ter Cooper's indictment, while he had a glue 
factory on the old Boston road, and his nig- 
gardly meanness to his nieces and nephews, 
and other kindred, and to the poor Irishmen 
at present in his glue factory in the vicinity of 
New York. He screws down all in his em- 
ploy to such low wages, that he barely per- 
mits them to subsist, although their employ- 
ment of skinning diseased cows feet and mak- 
ing glue is the most offensive labor under 
Heaven. For his cruelty towards an inoffen- 
sive apple-woman, (whom he seized by the 
throat, and dragged from his store, and threw 
into the gutter,) he should be horsewhipped 
from the Battery to Harlem. And through 
his artifice and eternal excuse, (to the poor 
starving wretches who have solicited aid since 
he began his bogus intellectual edifice,) that 
he could not contribute a dollar to any char- 
ity except his building, he has saved thousands 
that other equally affluent citizens have con- 
tributed to relieve the sick and hungry and 
naked during the several winters of famine 
through which we have passed, since Peter 
Cooper began the construction of his sham 
literary institution. And these reprobates 
now strive to starve the sick old fathers and 
mothers and grandmothers and dear little 
brothers and sisters of the noble newsboys 
who sell their papers amid the rain and sleet 
and freezing cold, while these leprous and 
chronic-pile old scamps are sweetly reposing 
in feather beds they stole from the tax-payers, 
under the garb of City Reform. Peter Cooper 
must soon meet his plundered aunt in the 
realms of shadows, whose contemplation makes 
him tremble like a murderer going to execu- 
tion. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



The Early Penury of the Three Napo- 
leons of the American Press— Bennett, 
Greeley, and Baymond. 

The Hon. Jolin Kelly (now Member of Con- 
gress from the city of New York) told me that 

ho was the first boy whom James Gordon 
Bennett employed, when he issued the first 
number of the Herald, — that he (honest 
Johnny Kelly) was then a poor, barefooted 
boy, with scarcely means to live, — that his 
duties consisted in sweeping out the office, 
running errands, folding and selling the//<T- 
aM, and in doing every thing required in and 
out of the office, — thai Bennett then had an 
office in the basement of a dilapidated build- 
ing in Wall street, near William, which was 
in constant danger of tailing, and for which he 
paid no rent, — that Anderson & Ward then 
published the Herald, whose printing office 
was in Ann street, in a building subsequently 
destroyed by fire, and which occupied the lot 
of the present Sunday Atlas edifice, — that 
Anderson ct Ward would not let Bennett have 
a solitary copy of the Herald until he paid for 
it, — that lie (John) used to go every day with 
Bennett to Anderson & Ward's to get the Her- 
ald papers, and that Bennett often had no 
money, and would appeal in vain for the 
Herald, — that in tears he often pawned his 
watch to Anderson & Ward for the Herald 
newspapers, — that on one occasion, he had no 
money, and Anderson ife Ward held his watch 
as security for the preceding day's Heralds, 
and Ward was drunk, and Anderson was ab- 
sent, and Bennett cried so long and hard that 
Ward finally let him have the newspapers, — 
that nothing but Ward's generosity, arising 
from his intoxication, saved Bennett on that 
critical occasion, as, if Ward had withheld the 
papers, and the Herald had not appeared as 
usual, it might have ceased to exist, and the 
WorM have ne^ er heard of James Gordon 
Bennett. And thus one event (even the whim 
of a drunkard) often shadows or illuminates 
our pathway to ceaseless adversity or pros- 
perity, or to eternal obscurity or immortality. 
The Hon. Horace Greeley was so poor when 
he published the New Yorker, that he could 
not pay his Wheat Bread Board, and even 
failed to pay his Unbolted Wheat, or Graham 
Bread Board. I boarded with Mi-, and Mrs. 
Greeley for seven years at the old Graham 
House in Barclay street, and (sometime after 
Greeley established the Tribune) Mrs. Greeley 
often borrowed money of me, from one shil- 
ling to five dollars. She always paid me, but 
often kept it for weeks, which subjected me 
to great embarrassment, as I was at the por- 
tal of starvation. But Mrs. Greeley was a 
poetess, and very interesting in conversation, 
and a sweet and gentle lady, and extremely 
beautiful, and her pretty smile emitted the sol- 
ace of an angel's wand, to a cadaverous and 
gloomy Grahamite like me, which was of infi- 
nite value to my digestive organs, and I never 
could resist her arch persuasion to loan her 
money, although it was often my very last 
shilling. I know a printer in this city who 
caught Greeley in one of Simpson's Pawn 
Boxes. Greeley had just pawned a coat and 
silver watch, (which the printer saw dart up 
the 6poutlikea Fourth of July rocket,) and 
he, Greeley, being near-sighted, was leaning 
over the counter, counting the pawn money, 
when the printer, being in the next Pawn 
Box, (and who had worked as a journeyman 
printer by the side of Greeley in a printing 
office in Chatham street some years before,) 
seized Greeley's ear, and slapped him on the 
back, when Greeley looked up, and blushed 
profusely, and trembled from hat to boot, and 
picked up his money from the counter, and 
walked out of the pawnbroker's shop, with 
gigantic strides, amid the screams of Simpson 
and his clerks, and the printer, and all the 



miserable wretches present, including the 
darkies. Three years afterwards, Simpson 
got the boss of the printer to print some auc- 
tion | lacards, and told him that Greeley never 
redeemed his coat and watch, which were 
sold at a Pawnbroker's public sale. 

Lieutenant Governor Henry J. Raymond, 
(soon after he came to New York,) was the 
room-mate of my brother Thomas in Beek- 
man street, nearly opposite Saint George's 
Church, at the boarding house of a superan- 
nuated Presbyterian clergyman named Brown. 
Gov. Raymond told me, three weeks since, 
that my brother Thomas was the first person 
he roomed with in New York. My brother 
Tommy had run away from home, and ap- 
pealed to me for money, and to get him a 
situation. He arrived from Providence in a 
snow storm, and as Mrs. Tripler, (with whom 
I boarded, opposite Saint George's Church,) 
was full, I got him board at Parson Brown's, 
in a small dark attic room, for two dollars a 
week. Two days after he began to board at 
Brown's, young Mr. Raymond came there, 
and Brown put him in Tommy's apartment, 
where they roomed and slept together for a 
long period. Raymond was very short, but 
Tom was much shorter, with the hump of 
King Richard on his back, but they slept 
soundly, and snugly, and sweetly, and cosily, 
and seldom kicked or scratched each other. 
After Raymond came into Tom's bed, (it was 
a double, rickctty, second-hand cot,) Brown 
reduced Tom's faro twenty-five cents, which 
made his board one dollar and seventy-five 
cents a week, and even that was quite a tax 
on my attenuated purse. Tom has often told 
me that he and Raymond would sometimes 
talk on religion and politics until the doleful 
hours of midnight, and related many funny 
anecdotes of Raymond, which I shall publish 
in the " History of my Life." Tom said that 
Raymond was so poor at this time, that he 
could hardly subsist, and used to have his hair 
cut close to the skull, to save barber*s money, 
and wash his handkerchiefs and stockings, 
and sometimes his shirts, and used to mend 
his shirts and stockings every Sunday morn- 
ing, and the room was so cold, that Raymond 
sat up in the cot, with his legs covered with 
the sheet and blanket, while ho darned his 
stockings and sewed the rips of his shirts, and 
that he, (Tom,) suffered severely while Ray- 
mond was sitting up in the cot mending his 
duds, letting in the cold air on his (Tom's) 
back and legs. Poor Tonr.ty is cold now, 
(dying from the rheumatism and dropsy that 
Raymond gave him,) and I recently bore his 
tiny body, and big heart, and intelligent brain 
to our family tomb in Rhode Island, by whose 
side I may soon repose. 

Bennett, Greeley, and Raymond are now 
at the summit of the American Press, and we 
shall soon show that they have not been true 
to the children of the Great Being who raised 
them from utter penury and obscurity to their 
present exalted position. And we shall re- 
view the source and rise of their Secretaries, 
Hudson. Dana, and Tuthill, on some very fine 
day, and then we shall analyse our own mys- 
terious career, and then O me ! O glass ! 

O paint! O putty! O Cooper! O Tiemann [ 



O Edward ! 
Tasso 1 



O Jeremiah! and the Italian 
A Sweet Letter. 

Rahwit, May 15th, 1858. 
Stephen H. Branch — 

Dear Sir, — Having read a great deal about you, 

I have taken a great interest in you. Although a 

stranger, I tako my pea to address you a few lines, 

hoping you will excuse the liberty I take. It is 

pure admiration of your persevering character that 

causes me to write ; for I have never teen your 

face to my knowledge. In your poverty, I deeply 



sympathised with you, and in your prosperity, I 
rejoice with you. And now I suppose you would 
like to know who it is that takes such an interest 
in you. I am a country lady. My name is Miss 
James, not the whole of it though, the rest I will 
give when I hear from you. I resido in Railway, 
New Jersey. I hope at some future day to become 
better acquainted with you. If you tako interest 
enough in the writer to answer this — please an- 
swer this at once, and direct to 

CARRIE JAMES, 
Rahway, New Jersey. 

Carrie, Carrie, 
Why will you tarry? 
Come, come with me, 
And my darling be. 
And we will soon be three, 
And roam o'er land and sea, 
And free lovers be 
To eternity ! 

how 1 cry 
To see thy eye, 
And hear tliv sigh ! 
O ! I ! O ! my I 

1 almost die 

To see thy thigh ! 

Good by, Carrie, 

Thee I'd marry ! 

So come quick to town, 

And I'll buy a gown, 

And to Foils we'll trot. 

Who'll soon tie our knot, 

And to the Astor we'll go, 

And put honey on our dough, 

And say avaunt to woe, 

And scream and jump Jim Crow, 

Till the Rooster doth blow 

His cock-a-doodle do, 

And hens cut-ka-dar-cut. 

And cats mew from their gut. 

And we will gaze, and huir, and kiss each other, 

Like Adam, our father, and Eve, our mother : 

And we will toil like thunder, 

In winter and in summer, 

To have a brat far better 

Than poor old Cain, our brother. 

So do not tarry, 

Sweet little Carrie, 

But come to me, 

And I'll love thee, 

Forever and ever, 

And scold thee never : 

And now on my lone bed, 

I will lay my poor head, 

And dream sweetly of thee, 

Until thy face I see ! 



The following meritorious gentlemen are 
wholesale agents for the Alligator. 

Ross&Tousey, 121 Nassau street. 
Hamilton & Johnson, 22 Ann street. 
Samuel Yates, 22 Beekman street. 
Mike Madden, 21 Ann street. 
Cauldwell & Long, 23 Ann street. 
Boyle & Gibson, 32 Ann street and 
Hendrickson & Blake, 25 Ann street. 



Advertisements— One Dollar a line 

IN ADVANCE. 

BLOCKWOOD'S, BROADWAY LETTER OFFICE AND 
• Stationery Store, 4'22» Broadway, New York. Let- 
ters delivered in the city and to the U. S Mails, just before 
their times for closing, in all directions. Stationery— a gen- 
eral assortment wholesale and retail. Lockwood & War- 
ren's Ink, a very superior article — jet black — does not cor- 
rode. All orders punctually attended to. 

B. LOCKWOOD. 



PC. GODFREY, STATIONER, BOOKSELLER, AND 
• General News dealer, 831 Broadway, New York, 
near ISth street. 

At Godfrey's — Novels, BookB, Ac, all the new ones cheap 
At Godfrey's— Magazines, Fancy Articles, Ac, cheap. 
At Godfrey's — Stationery of all kinds cheap. 
At Godfrey's — All the Daily and Weekly Papers. 
At Godfrey's— Visiting Cards Printed at 75 cents per pack. 
At Godfrey's — Ladies Fashion Books of latest date. 



AUG. BRENTANO, SMITHSONUN NEWS DEPOT, 
Books and Stationery, 608 BROADWAY, corner of 
Houston street. 

Subscriptions for American or Foreign Papers or Bookf, 
from the City or Country, will be promptly attended to. 

Foreign Papers received by every steamer. Store open 
from 6 A. M. to II P. M throughout the week. 

THERE IS SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS 

IN T1H 

PICAYUNE. 

You are sincerely warned not to look at THB PICAYUNB. 
AVOID THE PICAYUNE ! 

SHUN THE PICAYUNE I 
Or if you must have it, STEAL It. 



EXCELSIOR PRINT, 211 CENTRE-ST., N. Y. 




Volume I.— No. 8.] 



SATURDAY, JUNE 12, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



James Gordon Bennett, Horace Greeley, 
and Henry J. Baymond. 

I shall review the editorial career of these 
men, (whom I regard as extremely vicious,) 
and I shall begin with Bennett, because he is 
the eldest and biggest villain of the trio. I 
have written for the Herald since I was a 
student at Cambridge in 1836, for which I 
have received only $250. I have written for 
the Times nearly since its advent, for which I 
have received nothing. I have written for 
the Tribune since the first year of its exis- 
tence, for which I have received nothing but 
infinite detraction. So, in all I may say of 
these ungrateful scoundrels, I shall evince no 
ingratitude or treachery. Bennett's face is 
the reflection of hell and the prince of devils. 
In conversation, he is obscene and blasphe- 
mous, and thoroughly wicked in every thought, 
and to listen to his obscenity, and blasphemy, 
and corrupt suggestions, in Ids old age, makes 
one shudder with horror to the inner temples 
of the soul. lie is a low and cunning Scotch- 
man, of a large brain, of superficial cultiva- 
tion — has no critical knowledge of grammar, 
and his orthography is quite imperfect — could 
accurately define Websters " science," only as 
it represents the mode of extortion — has read 
very little — is an unnaturalized alien, and a 
monarchist of the deepest dye. His leading 
motive, since he acquired his almighty dollar 
position as a journalist, has been to oorrupt 
the people, and thus subvert our institutions, 
and cast us again into the embraces of British 
despots, whom he still loves, and will ever 
recognize as his native masters. His wife 
permanently resides in Europe, and the son 
who bears his name was educated in London, 
Paris, and Vienna, — and Bennett himself lias 
passed most of his latter years in Europe, with 
flying visits to America to black mail private 
citizens and the politicians in our Municipal, 
State, and National elections. As incontro- 
vertible evidence of his sympathy with cor- 
ruptionists, he never wrote a syllable in favor 
of the election of an honorable man to office. 
In the abstract, he prates of virtue, and has 
always denounced public rogues as no other 
man in America, but concretely and in the 
assassin's ambush, he toils from choice and for 
a cash consideration to elect prison birds for 
our rulers. As long as the candidate for of- 
fice holds him through a beautiful woman, or 
will jingle gold before his eyes, he will sustain 
him, and magnify him into a human god ; but 
the moment she ceases to fondle, and caress, 
and hug, and kiss his hideous features, or her 
beauty fades, or her paramour falls through 
penury, or the loss of the public confidence, — 



when one or all of these calamities transpire, 
he seeks new victims, and tramples the old 
like spiders, as lie now does George Law and 
Fernando Wood, and others, whom he has 
bled of half a million. Ami when Mariposa 
fails to yield its wonted supply of gold, he will 
abandon Fremont, and support some notorious 
scamp for President, who is a perjured alien, 
or a great national plunderer, or a dastard 
traitor to the Union of our Fathers, — pro- 
vided the candidate will give him $1(J0,0U0 in 
cash, with the promise of a first-class Foreign 
Mission. There is a married woman alter- 
nately in the Metropolis and its suburbs, to 
whom Bennett has long been an abject slave. 
And there is a woman alternately in Washing- 
ton and its suburbs, to whom President Bu- 
chanan himself is a Russian serf. Bennett and 
Buchanan, while I write, are in the embraces 
of two cunning and bewitching ladies, who 
control the destinies of America. It was 
through the fascinations and machinations of 
these two women, that George Law and Fer- 
nando Wood ultimately fell, never to rise ; 
and it was through these two Cleopatras that 
the English and Jewish alien, Abraham 1). 
Russell and Daniel E. Sickles were elected to 
the Judiciary and Congress, and will be again, 
as long as James Buchanan, James Gordon 
Bennett, Judge Russell, Daniel E. Sickles, and 
the two lovely ladies in question rule the des- 
tinies of the White House, and meet in its 
gorgeous halls, and around its festive tables. 
Dan Sickles could pull Buchanan's nose with 
impunity, and Judge Russell could pinch Ben- 
nett's big proboscis, and he would not dare 
breathe the faintest murmur. Pretty women 
ruled the Egyptians, Grecians, Romans, Eng- 
lish, French, Germans, Spaniards, and Italians, 
and why should they not rule the Americans? 
Bennett's Corporation plunder and his black 
mail of politicians and private citizens will 
appal the city and country, when I disclose 
his prodigious operations, and place Frederick 
Hudson, (his smooth Private Secretary,) and 
his brother Edward W. Hudson, (the author oi 
the Herald Money Articles,) in the infamous 
position of their master. Bennett and Fred 
and Ned Hudson originated the Parker Vein 
and Potosi villanies, through which my bro- 
ther William was reduced to beggary and 
ceaseless illness, for which I will haunt them 
to their capulets, and beyond, if possible. 
And now, as the Alligator's jaws are limited, 
they cannot hold more of Bennett's and the 
two Hudsons' carcases to-day, but he will bite 
them mighty hard next week, and take larger 
chunks from their black mail hides, at his 
second lunge. And when my Alligator's 



fangs reach Greeley and Raymond, he will 
revel and grin and snap his jaws, and fatten 
his belly, as though he was basking on the 
fertile borders of the Chagres. 

Early Years— Senator Henry 3. Anthony. 

When I was in the Providence Post Office, 
Henry B. Anthony was a student of Brown 
University, whose noble father resided in Cov- 
entry, and the pale and delicate Henry would 
descend College Bill at evening shades, and 
present his sweet little face at the Post Office 
window, and inquire in solicitous and music 
tones : "Good Stephen, did my dear father or 
mother write me to-day?" And if I said yes, 
his tiny face reflected the innocent hilarity of 
childhood. But if I said no, he would depart in 
silence, with tears careering on his brilliant and 
intellectual eyes. One summer evening, while 
in the doorway of the Post Office, we had a 
long political disputation, Henry was a Whig 
and I a Democrat. He was a Hamiltonian, 
and I a Jeffersouian. Samuel and Joseph 
Bridgham, Wm. Henry Manton, Giles Eaton, 
David Perkins, Halsey Creighton, Edward 
Hazard, Nathan F Dixon, George Rivers, and 
other students of Brown University, were 
there, and most of them were Whigs, and op- 
posed to Gen, Jackson, who was then Presi- 
dent. We had a very exciting discussion, and 
the students applauded as we warmed and 
glowed and rounded our periods ; but Henry 
received the most applause, and I the 
most hisses. I endured all this with compo- 
sure ; but when Henry corrected my pronun- 
ciation of the military word "corps," (kore,) 
which I pronounced like corpse, (korps,) a dead 
body, — he brought blushes to my cheeks, and 
copious blood to my brain, and the conquest 
was his, and I retired into the Post Office, and 
studied dictionary for some time, and resolved 
to acquire the principles of the English lan- 
guage. And from that memorable evening, I 
have been a laborious student. Wheu this 
same Henry B. Anthony became Governor of 
Rhode Island, my father was the Senator from 
Providence County, which is the second 
honor of the State Administration, and the 
duties more arduous than those of the Gover- 
nor himself. And father has told mo that 
Henry often consulted him during his Guber- 
natorial Administration. When poor father 
died, I called on Henry at the Providence 
Journal offioe, who received me with the cor- 
diality of a brother, and said : " Stephen : My 
father lias recently died, and I profoundly 
sympathize with yon, as I know what it is to 
lose a good father like mine. As to your father, 



STEPHEN PI. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



Rhode Island never had a wiser nor a better 
citizen, nor a purer patriot,— and years will 
roll ere she will rear a man of his integrity 
and penetration. Our whole State is in tears, 
and will e\ er cherish him with warm affec- 
tion." Henry was elected an American Sen- 
ator last week from Rhode Island, and here 
am I, with a dagger and revolver in my hand, 
exposing the robbers and parricides of my 
country, and with not one truly reliable friend 
in all the world ; and even the few dollars that 
I recently received from the Corporation for 
public services, are in ceaseless danger through 
the stealth of heartless and greedy wretches, 
whose avarice will never be satiated until they 
have wrested the very last farthing from 
trembling hands that are in constant peril of 
paralysis. And now, dear Henry, receive my 
most affectionate congratulation on mounting 
the ladder of your highest ambition. But if 
you join the plunderers and traitors of the 
Senate, and be recreant to truth and justice — 
to Greene and Perry— to the Rhode Island 
Line, so fondly cherished by Washington — 
and to our dear native soil, and to the loved 
stars of our glorious canopy, and of the long, 
dark, cold, dreary, and sleepless nights of 
the Revolution,— if you bo recreant to these 
sacred lights of our early years, I will par- 
alyze you with execrations, — and if I survive 
you, I will trample and blight the verdure that 
blushes over your odious and accursed mau- 
soleum. 

The Patient and Doctor— The First In- 
terview. 

Patient — Doctor, I have got the piles and 
dyspepsia most awfully. I have taken lots of 
medicine, and it has made me more costive, 
and caused my head to ache worse than ever. 
Now, Doctor, what on earth shall I do to cure 
me of the piles and dyspepsia ? 

Doctor — Buy Branch's Alligator. 

Patient — What kind of medicine is that? 

Doctor — It ain't medicine. It is a pepper. 

Patient — What kind of pepper? 

Doctor — A darn funny pepper. 

Patient — How can that cure the piles and 
dyspepsia t 

Doctor — It will make you laugh and cry at 
the same time, and move your bowels, and it 
actually gave one of my patients the^diarrhcea 
and hysteric cramps in the stomach last week. 

Patient — Where can I find it? 

Doctor — At any depot in the city. 

Patient — I will try it. How much shall I 
pay you for your medical advice ? 

Doctor — Only one dollar. 

Patient — There it is. Good day, Doctor. 

Doctor — Good day. 

Patient — (stumbles going down thesteps) — 
It looks awful cloudy, Doctor. 

Doctor — Quite so. It looks like rain. 

Patient — Yes, rather. Good day, Doctor. 

Doctor — Good day. Call again. 
Patient — I will. [Exeunt.] 

SECOND INTERVIEW. 

Patient — Good morning, Doctor. 

Doctor — How do yon do ? 

Patient — -1 am so weak I can hardly stand. 

Doctor — It must be owing to the warm 
weather. 

Patient — No it ain't. I have been reading 
BtanclCs Alligator, and I have got the dys- 
entery so bad that I fear I shall lose my en- 
trails and die before sundown, if you don't 
give me something to stop it. Why, lord bless 
your dear soul, Doctor, I was up all last night, 
and have been out ten times to-day. do 
relieve and save me, Doctor. Only give me 
back my piles and dyspepsia again, and I'll 
be satisfied. The dysentery is more dangerous 
than either, and I'm not prepared to die. I 
joined the Church at the time Awful Gardner 
and Ex-Alderman Wesley Smith did, but I 



didn't hold on, and I am worse now than I 
was before I joined the Old Dutch Church in 
Fulton street. Do save me, Doctor, do. O 
do ! All this trouble has come npon me, be- 
cause you told me to read UrancKs Alligator, 
which made me laugh so, that my bowels got 
under way, and I conldu'tstop them. Do save 
me, dear Doctor. 

Doctor — Do you ever read the Herald, 7'imcs, 
or Tribune? 

Patient — No. I consider it a sin to read 
those papers. 

Doctor— Why ? 

Patient — Because they lie and black mail 
so, and deceive and sell the people, and plun- 
der them, and erect such elegant buildings 
with their plunder. They never could make 
so much money by honorable industry. 

Doctor — Well, now, you go and buy a copy 
of the Herald, Times, and Tribune, and go 
home and read the editorials, and the letters of 
their Albany and AVashington correspondents, 
and their mercenary Wall street money arti- 
cles, and read their billingsgate of each other, 
and their horrible black mail articles, and 
they will so thrill your blood, as to produce 
an instant reaction, and you will soon 'be more 
costive than before you read Branch 1 * Alliga- 
tor. 

Patient — I'll do it. How much shall I pay 
you for your advice ? 

Doctor — Not a cent. 

Patient — You are too generous, Doctor. 

Doctor — Not at all. Those editors ain't 
worth a cent, only what they steal from the 
government, and the politicians, and the peo- 
ple. They don't make a millionth as much 
on their paper and advertisements, as they do 
on black mail. They are the source of all gov- 
ernmental evil. 

Patient — Them's my sentiments exactly. 
Good morning. Doctor. 

Doctor — Good morning, patient. [Exeunt.] 

TniRD INTERVIEW. 

Patient — Good evening, Doctor. 

Doctor — Good evening. 

Patient— Well, Doctor, the Herald, Times, 
and Tribune have cured me. I swow, Doc- 
tor, how Bennett, Greeley, and Raymond can 
lie. I read their fibs, white and black, and 
their billingsgate of each other, and their 
abuse of private citizens, and contractors, and 
politicians, (which seemed like polite invita- 
tions for interested parties to walk up to their 
gilded offices and settle,) until my blood run 
cold, and icicles formed in my veins, and my 
zig-zag circulation flew about and rushed 
from my toes, fingers, nose, ears, heart, and 
liver, into my skull, until my dysentery- 
was reduced from ten to four times a 
day ; and then I put ice on my head, and a 
poultice over my navel, and bathed my spleen 
with brandy, and went to bed, and slept like 
Rip Van Winkle, and I now feel as well as I 
did at my birth, — and I have come to express 
my gratitude, and pay you a standing fee for 
disclosing the important secret, that 1 can al- 
ways cure the piles and dysentery by reading 
the abominable lies and black mail editorials 
of the Herald, Times, and Tribune. 

Doctor — I am of a costive nature, and never 
have the piles nor dysentery, and therefore 
never read those disreputable newspapers ; 
but if I ever should have the cholera, or vio- 
lent diarrhoea, I should read those public jour- 
nals for my life, as I have cured dysentery 
patients for years by recommending the perusal 
of those journals for only half an hour. And I 
shall always recommend Branch's Alligator 
for costiveness. 

Patient— Don't mention the Alligator, if 
you please, Doctor, because I fear it will start 
my bowels, and again set them in a terrible 
and dangerous commotion. So, good night. 
Doctor, and may God forever bless you. 



Doctor — Good night, sir. 

Patient — Remember me kindly to your wife 
and children, Doctor. 

Doctor — I will. 

Patient — Good night. 

Doctor — Good night. [Exeunt'] 

The Doctor closes the door, and Patient 
skips up the street, singing, a la Bayadere: 

Happy am I, 

From piles I'm free, 
Why are not all 
Merry like me ? 



Sitpjrew fj. irRitcjj's Alligator. 

NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JUNE 13, 1858. 

War with Great Britain. 

Don't let the grannies and daddies get dan- 
gerously nervous over the bloody rumors from 
Washington. Drink your tea, good matrons, 
and take your snuff, old gentlemen, as strong 
as ever, and talk as serenely and happily of 
other days, as though we were to have per- 
petual peace. There will be no war between 
parent and child, so long as New York and 
Liverpool exist in mutual interest and broth- 
erly affection. For these two cities, with 
their mighty commerce, are the peaceful ar- 
biters of nations, and will be, after all who now 
behold the Universe have returned to ashes, 
and coming generations cannot find their mor- 
tal caverns. 

Tremendous Display of Crinoline, 

[WALLACES THEATRE JUST OUT — A DRIZZLINO 
KAIN.] 

Omnibus Driver — Broadway — ride up ? 

Dad (on sidewalk) — I say, driver, have you 
got room for all my family ? 

Driver — How many have you got? 

Dad — Myself and two female children — 
two girls in their teens, and my wife and 
mother. 

Driver — Yes, daddy, I can accommodate 
you, as I have just got room for yourself, old 
boy, and your two female children, and two 
kegs, and your two girls in their teens, and 
two barrels, and for your wife and mother, 
and two hogsheads. Jump in, old cock, with 
all your tribes and trappings. 

Dad — Thank you, driver, thank you, — but 
darn your impudent reflections about crino- 
line. But it rains, and I'm anxious to get 
home, and I'll forgive your facetious com- 
ments this time. There, now, get in wife, 
and mother, and girls, and children — get in 
as fast as possible, and get out of the rain, and 
save your bonnets, and shawls, and silks, and 
kegs, barrels, and hogsheads, that our waggish 
driver prates of with such truthful severity. 

Driver (peeping through the hole) — Are 
you all right inside, daddy? Crinoline all 
nicely arranged and tucked in? eh? old cock? 

Dad — Go ahead, you rascal. I'll tell Major 
Tiemann and Peter Cooper of your didos, 
and have you arrested. 

Driver — Laughs, and snaps his whip, and 
away they go. 

A Queer Letter. 

New Yoi:k, May 28th, 1858. 
Sn:iiii:x H. Branch, Esq. — 

Dear Sir, — As a reader of your rapacious 
Alligator, and a warm sympathiser with 
you throughout your misfortunes, I think I 
am entitled to make a suggestion, which I 
believe to be for your own good. I want to 
praise the manner in which you have con- 
ducted your Journal thus far, and it is because 
I.do not wish to see it unworthy of considera- 
tion that I have taken the liberty to write to 
you— a perfect stranger, as far as personal 
acquaintance goes. Your sanguinary and cha- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. •; 



3 



ractcristic fearless attacks on the magnates of 
Tammany and the City Ilall have won you 
great favor among the honest and peaceful 
citizens of New York, as well as elsewhere, 
but I am of opinion that an attack on the city 
press would only be productive of serious mis- 
chief to yourself. In your latest number, 
you mention the apparent slight of the Alli- 
gator by Bennett, Greeley, and Raymond, 
and avow your intention to " let up " on 
them in your next. I seriously advise you not 
to do it. It will hurt you. Only a week 
since you spoke of your unwillingness to at- 
tack and expose Russell, because he is Ben- 
nett's friend, who aided you in your misfor- 
tunes. It may hurt the man's feelings some- 
what to see his friends or relations calumni- 
ated or condemned, but it is much worse (and 
savors of ingratitude in the assailant) to be 
set upon himself. Besides, if you wake the 
wrath of these three Leviathans, it will take 
a bigger and stronger animal than the Alli- 
gator to extinguish it. It is therefore a mat- 
ter of policy in you not to weaken yourself 
by entering into a war with the Herald, Times, 
or Tribune. You are yet weak, and need all 
the help you can possibly obtain. You know 
yourself that newspapers are not established 
in a day, however high their aim or select 
their contributions, and to be drawn into a 
controversy with the papers named, will be 
almost fatal to your editorial prospects. 

Again: they may have reasons for not no- 
ticing your paper, as a press of business, ne- 
glect, overlooking, and so forth, and may, 
when a more convenient season presents itself, 
give you a highly flavored puff. Would it not 
be better to ask thein privately to speak favor- 
ably of your new enterprise, than to attempt 
to force them to do it by a public attack in 
your paper ? 

Yours very respectfully, and with sincere 
Irishes for your welfare, R. P. C. 

(Private.) 

This letter came from the Herald, Time*, 
and Tribune offices, and was the result of the 
deliberations of Bennett, Greeley, and Ray- 
mond, through their Secretaries, Hudson, 
Dana, and Tuthill. My heart was moved 
while reading this production. The genial 
spirits of Houston and Hamilton, of the Her- 
ald, and of the equally meritorious dead in 
the Times and Tribune establishments, passed 
before my vision, and I was unmanly, and 
wept like a delicate female. And with elec- 
tric flights of the imagination, I grasped the 
long and happy years I have passed in the 
Herald, Times, and Tribune offices, in the 
pleasing effort to improve the Fire and Police 
Departments. I thought, too, of the noble 
hand of intellectual living giants connected 
with the Metropolitan Press in question, and 
I wept to know that we would be less friend- 
ly, and that my form and intellect were never 
more to be reflected by the leading Press of 
America. And why must this be so ? Why 
must I pass in silence, in my whole journey to 
the grave, such men as Bennett, Greeley, and 
Raymond, and their Secretaries, Hudson, 
Dana, and Tuthill ? Is it because they have 
not noticed the Alligator? I would despise 
myself, if I could be governed by so mean a 
motive. A spark will light a flame that will 
defy a million men. Isolated snow will come 
silently from Heaven, and form mountains 
that will bury thousands. And I admit that 
after my gratuitous labors in the Herald, 
Times, and Tribune establishments for so 
many years, (in which I devoted the in- 
tegrity and education that my father 
gave me,) the refusal of Bennett, Gree- 
ley, and Raymond to notice my feeble efforts 
to establish a truthful press, kindled a blaze 
in my bosom that they can never quench. 
For seven weeks I looked with solicitude for 



the mention of my Journal in their columns, 
and crushed to the earth witli pain and dis- 
gust with my species, I resolved to dissect the 
bodies that were animated by such contracted 
souls. Their refusal to notice and encourage 
the efforts of an old and tried friend like me, 
(who has toiled so long and hard to give them 
important public documents and early valua- 
ble domestic and foreign intelligence,) arous- 
ed a million demons that have slumbered in 
my bosom, and yearned for years to expose 
the villainy of American editors, who hold 
the destinies of my country and of human 
liberty in their palms, and who trille and play 
with the people, and sell them like cattle in 
the face of the morning sun. Bennett, Gree- 
ley, and Raymond never meet by daylight, 
but they do by night light in great emergen- 
cies. They fret and scold before the people, 
but they act in concert in subterranean cav- 
erns. And their Secretaries, Hudson, Dana, 
and Tuthill, daily walk arm-in-arm, plot- 
ting deeds of hell for their wicked mas- 
ters, in which the people are invariably 
sold. And so with the money-article writers 
of these public journals. They see each other 
often, and act in concert, and spread terror 
in Wall street, and throughout the country, 
and desolate the hearth of many a happy do- 
mestic circle, in the journey of every sun. 
And shall I be silent, and go down to my 
grave, with these fatal secrets on my heart, 
that have depressed me for years ? Snail I be 
recreant to my mission, and to the toiling mil- 
lions, on whom their accursed treason falls ; 
Shall I not tell the American people, that the 
evils and corruption that overshadow our 
land, and threaten to subvert our glorious in- 
stitutions, have their source in the American 
I And shall I not adduce my proof and 

argument, and scathing analysis of their per- 
nicious motives? And shall I be silenced by the 
threats in this letter, that I will be crushed by 
three Leviathans the instant I open my fatal 
batteries ? No, no. All hell shall not deter 
me from my exposition of Bennett, Greeley, 
and Raymond, and their vile Secretaries. For 
my honor I care every thing, and he who 
strives to deprive me of it, through un- 
merited detraction, shall die by my avenging 
hand. But for life I care nothing, only to be 
useful to my kind, and to adhere to integrity, 
and serve the God of my supreme adoration. 
Life ! Take it ! Take the poor, trembling, 
pining, mortal trunk and scabbard, but beware 
of the sword and soul ! Look, but touch not 
them, lest the ground rock, and open, and 
yawn, and swallow, and cut, and dash, and 
burn your demon bones and nerves through 
undying ages. Beware! I say! beware! 
and tremble ! For I have a superstition,, that 
a soul is sacred in the eyes of God, according 
to its love of truth, or its hatred and horror 
of such hypocrites, thieves, and traitors, as 
Bennett, Greeley, and Raymond. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S57, by 

STEPHEN H. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H. Branch. 

The news of my return to Providence spread 
rapidly, and the political newspapers un- 
friendly to father most cruelly announced my 
arrival in blazing capitals. I then told my 
father that if he would furnish me the means, 
I would go to the sea shore, and lie instantly 
complied. I departed for Boston with White, 
whose father resided in Pepperell, Massachu- 
setts, whither he went, and I took the stage 
to Salem and Gloucester, near C.;po Ann. 
When I parted witli White, I was overwhelm- 
ed witli tears and desolation. 1 passed the 
first night in Gloucester at a hotel, and the 
next day engaged private board. I HOW WHS 



very lonely, — had no congenial spirit by my 
side, — knew no one in Gloucester, — was a 
mere skeleton,— could not read nor compose, 
without snffusing my brain with blood, aud i 
sometimes thought I should drop dead, and 
seriously contemplated self-destruction. Cut 
the ocean air revived me, and I gave lessons 
in penmanship to a Mr. Story and his two 
sons, who gave me $5 a week, which del rayed 
my expenses, and diverted my mind from the 
melancholy past, which was a precious 
solace. The summer closed, and the 
leaves began to fall, and the first blast of 
autumn made its advent from the north, and 
I returned to Boston, and went to New Ynrk 
by way of Hartford and New Haven. I en- 
gaged board witli Mrs. Reeve, in Pearl street. 
near Franklin Square, and hired a cheap 
piano of Firth, Hall, & Pond, and gave En- 
glish lessons to the son of Mr. Vultee, for 
which he imparted musical instruction. 1 
then went to Arthur Tappan, and informed 
him that I contemplated the instruction of 
colored persons, who sent me to his brother, 
Lewis Tappan, with whom I had a long con- 
versation, at his store in Pearl street, during 
which he examined my qualifications in spell- 
ing, reading, figures, and penmanship, and 
gave me a letter of introduction to a colored 
man named Van Ransselaer, who kept a res- 
taurant under the office of the Journal of 
Commerce. I taught Mr. and Mrs. Van Rans- 
selaer and their adopted boy for some weeks. 
for which I received my meals at their res- 
taurant. They had a room in the sixth story 
of one of the Wall street buildings, and, in 
climbing the stairs, I often thought I should 
die before I reached the upper story. I now 
see an advertisement, and obtain a situation 
as teacher on the plantation of Mr. Bennett, 
near Franklin, Alabama, and departed for 
Apalachicola, in the brig Sampson, Captain 
Robinson. The passengers could scarcely 
move in consequence of the barrels of pota- 
toes and apples on deck. We paid our pas- 
sage in advance. The proprietors of the ves- 
sel allowed the captain a limited sum for sail- 
ors, and, to save a portion of the money for 
himself, the captain obtained most of his sail- 
ors from the hospital, from those just recover- 
ing from protracted illness. One was lame, 
and another had but one eye, and all were 
pale and extremely feeble. We had a gale off 
Cape Hatteras, and some of the more emaci- 
ated sailors were instantly prostrated, and re- 
tired to their berths, and the passengers had 
to work night and day, or go to the bottom of 
the ocean. In a week after I left New York, my 
hands were nearly raw with blUters from 
hauling ropes. The owners permitted the 
captain to provision the vessel as he pleased, 
and render his account to them at the close of 
the voyage, and he nearly starved us, although 
he charged the proprietors of the vessel for the 
best provisions the market afforded. I often 
caught the captain drinking wines and eating 
luxuries behind the masts, whioh the passen- 
gers should have had, and I denounced him, 
but to no purpose. I discovered the helms- 
man asleep at midnight, and the vessel going 
stern foremost, and aroused the passengers 
just in time to save all from y. watery grave. 
There was a passenger who had been a skilful 
mariner, and we acted in concert, or we must 
havo been lost. We watched tho helmsman 
on alternate nights, but got weary of the task, 
and shared the toil with other passengers. 1 
emerged from my berth at midnight, and 
found botli passenger and helmsman asleep, 
when I aroused all hands to witness the ex- 
traordinary spectacle, and our common peril, 
and, after that, the passengers formed a Vigi- 
lance Committee to unceasingly watch the 
captain aud sailors. In a week, land was dis- 
covered, although the captain assured us one 
hour before the discovery, that we were about 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



one hundred milea from hind. It was near 
sunset, and it' we had not discovered hind 
before dark, we would have gone ashore, and 
been drowned, or butchered by the hos- 
tile Indians on the coast of Florida, who 
were then engaged in their final struggle with 
the Americans. We had a hurricane soon 
afterwards, and lost all the apples and [iota- 
toes from the deck, but we at last arrived 
at Key "West. We took in water, and some 
bread and herrings, and steered for Apalaehi- 
cola. and on the following day, we took four 
men from a vessel that must have sunk in one 
hour after we rescued them. The poor fel- 
lows had been several days on the wreck, 
without food or water, and they shivered and 
cried like children, when they reached our 
vessel. It was a very affecting scene, and 
none could restrain their tears. We hail a gale 
in the Gulf of Mexico, and expected to be 
lost, lint we ultimately reached Apalachicola. 
which I found a perfect desert. My employer, 
and a wagon with two horses, anticipated my 
arrival, and we went to Saint Joseph, and 
thence up the banks of the Chattahoochee 
River, and often passed near the encampment 
of hostile tribes of Indians. There had been 
no rain for two months, and the woods were 
on fire at times throughout the journey, which 
presented at night a scene of great sublimity. 
We were often surrounded by smoke and 
flame, and were scorched and nearly strangled 
by the dense smoke that emanated from the 
burning pine trees. On one occasion, the 
horses were unmanageable, and ran towards 
the flames, and we supposed we would be lost, 
but we subdued the terror of the horses, and 
emerged from the flames after infinite peril 
and trouble. The miserable habitations were 
often thirty miles apart, and we nearly died 
from thirst, but we reached Franklin, Ala- 
bama, after unexampled suffering. I soon 
repaired to Bennett's Plantation, five miles 
from Franklin, and opened my sehoei, near 
his house, in a log cabin, to which Bennett 
permitted children to come from the surround- 
ing country. My health was poor, and I 
nearly died witli dyspepsia. 1 soon discovered 
that Bennett was intemperate and cruel to his 
slaves, most of whom had committed grave 
offences, and had been confined in the prisons 
of Georgia and Alabama. Bennett's Overseer 
whipped the slaves every morning, and my 
feelings were lacerated almost beyond endur- 
ance, when I heard the lash, and their pierc- 
ing cries for mercy. Mike, a slave, fled in 
the night, and Bennett and the Overseer pur- 
sued and captured him partially drunk in a 
swamp. They tied him to a tree, near my 
window, and paddled him with a wooden 
spade full of holes, which brought blood and 
blisters at every blow. I bad witnessed the 
executions of murderers at the North, but I 
never beheld brutality like this. I closed my 
window, and went to bed, and buried myself 
in the clothes, so that I eonhl not hear the 
blows, and poor Mike's thrilling appeals for 
succor. Chloe, a slave from Africa, (who was 
seventy years old, and had been the slave of 
Bennett's father,) told a lie to screen one of 
her children, who bad been absent two nights 
on a drunken frolic, and she was tied to a tree, 
#nd severely horsewhipped on her naked back. 
I shall never forget the moans of poor 
-Chloe, as the whip lacerated her scanty flesh, 
ami aged bones. Mrs. Bennett taught her 
children, nude and female, to whip the chil- 
dren slaves, jnd when they did not strike 
hard, she worn,; fly into a fearful passion, and 
lash her own children for their lenity towards 
the sinless little slao es. These cruel scenes 
disgusted and harrowed njy heart beyond the 
power of language to express, and I resolved 
to resort to honorable stratagew to get away 
from Bennett's Plantation. So, on Bennett's 
,retnrn from his favorite amusement of hunt- 



ing deer at night, with which the country 
teemed, he was very proud of his success in 
killing deer, and was partially intoxicated, 
and in sparkling humor, and I breathed in 
his merry ears the following' plaintive intelli- 
gence. 1 told him that I was ill, and antici- 
pated a return of fits, which sometimes tor- 
mented me for months, — that, at times, when 
[ emerged from these tits, I was wild and dan- 
gerous, uuless confined in irons, and that I 
once nearly strangled a child, during my deli- 
rium. He started back, and stared like an 
owl, and his wife opened her mouth, and 
stretched her large gray eyes prodigiously, 
and asked me how long I had had symptoms 
of the return of fits. I said, about two days. 
Bennett then inquired about how long before 
1 expeeled they would commence. I replied, 
in a day or two. He asked me if I desired to 
return to Apalachicola, and thence to New 
York, or would rather go by way of Colum- 
bus, Georgia. I told him that I had a brother 
in New Orleans, who was proprietor of the 
" New Orleans Daily Times" and I would 
like to go to him, as he knew how to nurse 
me, when the fits were on. He said that he 
would let his slave Edward take me in his 
wagon down the banks of the Chattahoochee, 
to the point where the mail stage passed, an 
its way to Lagrange, where I could get a 
steamer to Pensacola, and thence to Mobile 
and New Orleans. I told him that I had no 
money. He said lie would supply mo with 
enough to defray my expenses to New Or- 
leans. In the morning, while the Overseer 
was whipping slaves in the yard, I started 
down the Chattahoochee, and, after an encamp- 
ment of three nights, reached the road that 
led to Lagrange. On the following day, the 
stage arrived, and I left for Lagrange. General 
James Hamilton, of South Carolina, wds a pas- 
senger, with whom I had many a pleasant 
conversation. After a tedious journey through 
the piny solitudes of Florid;., we arrived at. 
Lagrange, and left for Pensacola, in a ricketty 
steamer, in which we came near being lost in 
the Gull' of Mexico, in about half a gale. At 
Pensacola, we took the steamer Champion, 
and proceeded to Mobile, and thence to New 
Orleans, by way of Lake Pontchartrain. I 
boarded with my brother Albert in Poydras 
street, and worked in his printing office. I 
learned, through the newspapers, that the 
Captain left Apalachicola for Havana, but 
could'nt find it, and went to Key West — that 
he left for New York, and was capsized in the 
Atlantic ocean, and only the second mate was 
saved, who stated in substance that "six of us 
were on a raft for nine days, and, after we ate 
the dog, we drew lots for each other, and that 
he who drew the shortest piece of shirt from 
my inclosed hand, should die, but have the 
privilege of resisting the other five in their 
attempted slaughter of his body for his blood 
and flesh as their water and food, — that a 
Hungarian passenger drew the shortest cut, 
atid fought for his life for two hours, on the 
raft, which was the roof of the deck cabin, 
and very large, and could hold twenty men 
with safety, — -that the Hungarian at last fell 
asleep at midnight, against his will, ami we 
cut bis head entirely off, and drank his blood, 
and ate his flesh, aud J never relished any food 
like the Hungarian's, — that on the tenth day, 
the first mate died from eating too heartily of 
the Hungarian, and on the eleventh day a pas- 
senger and sailor died from exhaustion, — that 
on the twelfth day a vessel came near, and 
while on a mountain wave just over my head, 
the cook discovered myself and the last sailor 
down in the cavern of the ocean, — the cook 
screamed. — the helmsman discovered us, — a 
rope was cast, and I seized it, and tied it 
around me, — another is thrown, — I tied it 
around my comrade, and gave the signal to 
hoist away, and up we went into the vessel, 



but, alas ! my sailor boy was dead, dying 
from exhaustion and excessive joy at his too 
sudden and unexpected rescuo!" This melan- 
choly news cast a profound gloom over my 
meditations for several weeks. I now see an 
advertisement for a teacher in Napoleonville, 
on Bayou Lafourche, about twenty miles from 
Donaldsonville, and seventy -five miles west of 
New Orleans, on the plantation of Thomas 
Pugh, who was a classmate of President Polk, 
the Keverend Doctor Hawks, and the Reverend 
Doctor Thomas House Taylor, of Grace 
Church, and other distinguished men, at 
Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Albert 0. Ains- 
worth and Senator Conrad, of New Orleans, 
gave me letters to Mr. Pugh, which secured 
the situation. Mr. Pugh was a Member of the 
Legislature, and so was .Mr. Conrad. Mr. 
Ainsworth was a native of Providence, Rhode 
Island, and an old school mate of mine, whose 
father was a school master. Mr. Pugh had 
about two hundred slaves on his sugar and 
cotton plantations, and his brother, just below 
him, on the Bayou, had a thousand slaves. I 
found Mr. Thomas Pugh to bo a noble cha- 
racter, and very kind to his slaves, who most 
fondly loved him. I had a school house in the 
centre of a beautiful field, to which came the 
pretty children of Mr. Pugh, and about a 
dozen others from the contiguous plantations. 
I had six hundred dollars per annum, and a 
horse to ride when I chose, and aslavenamed 
Nathan to wait upon me. The country teem- 
ed with poultry, and we had the most deli- 
cious oysters, and all the choice fruits and 
vegetables of those sunny and prolific lati- 
tudes. I was thrown from my horse one 
moonlight evening, while riding along the 
Bayou, and soon after was bitten by a snake, 
and in about a week found a lizzard in my 
bed when I awoke in themorning, and I got 
uneasy and very nervous, and left Mr. Pugh 
and his interesting family with tearful sorrow, 
because they had treated me with parental 
kindness. I returned to New Orleans, and 
engaged pasaage in a steamer for Louisville, 
Kentucky. 

(To be continued to our last dream.) 

Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit — From two to four seconds, or as Ion? ns the Ad- 
vertiser can hold hia breath ! Letters and Advertisements to 
be left at No. 211 Centre street, or at the Post Office. 

FULTON IRON WORK S.— JAMES MURPHY k C0~ 
manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers', 
&c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East 
River. 



AUNSON T. BRIGGS— DEALER IN FLOUR BARRELS, 
Molasses Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks. 
Also, new flour barrels and half barrels ; a large supply 
constantly on hand. My Stores are at Nos. 62, 63. 64, 0°, 
T8, 75, 77'and 79 Rutger's Slip ; at 235, 287, and 289 Cherry 
street ; also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and 
Rutger's Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in 
Williamsburgh are at Furman k Co.'s Dock. My yards in 
New York are at the corner of Water and Gouverneur 
streets; and in Washington street, near Canal ; and at Le- 
roy Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger's Slip. 
ALANSQN T. BRIGGS. 

JOHN B. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, 718 WATER Sl'REET. 
My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those of any Boat ,Builder in the World. Give me a call, 
and if I don't please you, I will disdain to charge you for 
what does not entirely satisfy you. JOHN B. WEBn. 



SAMUEL SNEDEV, SHIP k SI'EAMIIOA t' oUILDER.— 
My Office is at No. 81 Corlears street, New York ; and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have built 
Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Gh.be, for a 
long term of years, and continue to do so on n asnnable 
terms. SAMUEL SNEDEN. 



C1HARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, ESTABLISHED IN 
/ 1SU8,) Sign of the Golden Horse, 89 Bowery, New York, 
opposite the Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his articles as low as 
any other Saddler in America, and warrant them to be equal 
to any in the World. 



HN WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 
• 451 Broadway, bet. Grand and Howard streets, New 
York. My Iceland Moss and Flaxseed Candy will cure 
Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time. 



JAMES GRIFFITHS. (Late CHATFIELD 4 GRIFFITHS.) 
No. 278 Grand St., New York. A large stock of well-se- 
lected Cloths, Cassimeres, Vestiogs, Ac , on hand. Gent's, 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in the most 
approved style. All cheap for Cash. 



C TYSON, CORNER OF NINTH STREET k SIXTH AVE. 
• Has for sale all the hue Publications of the day, in- 
cluding all the Daily and Weekly Newspapers. 




DOR. 



Volume I— No. 9.] 



SATURDAY, JUNE 19, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



James Gordon Bennett's Editorial 
Career. 

Kennett left his native hills of Scotland in 
1819, and arrived in Boston in 1820. After 
enduring the tortures of poor Goldsmith (as 
teacher, traveler, editor, and author) for fif- 
teen years, he takes the basement of the 
crumbling ruin at No. 20 Wall street, and ad- 
vertises for a boy, when John Kelly (now a 
Member of Congress from the Fourth, Sixth, 
Tenth, and Fourteenth Wards) thus responds: 

Eater John Kelly in rags and barefooted. 

John—yiv. Bennett: Mother says you ad- 
vertised for a boy, and sent ins to ask you for 
the situation. 

Bennett — What's your name? 

John— Johnny Kelly. 

Bennett — Where do you live? 

John — In the Fourteenth Ward. 

Bennett — How long have you been in this 
country? 

John — I have always been in this beautiful 
conntry. 

Bennett — Aint you an Irish boy? 

John — No, sir, — I am an American boy, 
and I'm very glad I am an American. 

Bennett — Why are you glad of that ? 

John — Because George Washington was an 
American, and I dearly love his memory, 
because he always spoke the truth, and was 
good and brave, and loved and saved his 
country. 

Bennett — Who told you all this? 

John — My grandfather first told me of 
Washington's greatness, and goodness, and 
bravery, and since he died. I have read the 
Life of Washington several times. 

Bennett — Where was your grandfather 
born \ 

John — In Scotland. 

Bennett — Ah ! then, you are of Scotch 
descent ? 

John — Yes, sir. 

Bennett — Did you ever hear of Wallace? 

John — Yes, sir, and of William Tell, and his 
son Albert, of Switzerlaud. Grandfather 
told me all about their courageous deeds and 
great love of country, 

Bennett — -Where were your parents born ? 

John — In poor old Ireland. 

Bennett — Why did they leave their coun- 
try? 

John — Because liberty was dead, and the 
people starving, and sorely oppressed by 
tyrants. 

Bennett — Who crushed the liberty of Ire- 
land? 

John — England, Scotland, and Wales. 



Bennett — That will do, my boy, and I am 
pleased with your intelligence and love of 
liberty, though you should not denounce the 
glorious Scotland, because your grandfather 
came from its pretty vales and majestic moun- 
tains. 

John — If Scotland and Wales had sympa- 
thised with Ireland, and fought her battles for 
freedom, the sweetest and greenest Isle of all 
the earth would now be free like my dear 
America, and Scotland and Wales could also 
have enjoyed the blessings of liberty. 

Enter Washer Woman. 

Washer Woman — And so I have caught the 
old Scotch Serpent at last, eh ? I have been 
here a dozen times, and also at your last 
boarding house, which you left without pay- 
ing a poor widow (with five young children) 
for your board, and she is very sick in con- 
sequence of your cowardly villainy, and is 
about to have another child, and her landlord 
told her yesterday that she must move imme- 
diately, or he would turn her into the street, 
for not paying her rent. But I'll stand none 
of your wickedness. Aud now, Bennett, if 
you don't, instantly pay me for washing and 
mending your filthy and ragged clothes, I 
will rope you on the spot. (She takes a rope 
from behind her apron.) 

Bennett — Call in the morning, and I will 
certainly pay you. 

Washer Woman — I shall do no such thing, 
you lying diddler. I will have it now, or I 
will rope you, and pull your hair, and scratch 
and bite, and maul you to a jelly. (She ap- 
proaches him with menacing gestures.) 

Bennett — There, good woman, — there's 
your money. (She seizes it and departs, wag- 
ging her head and body with victorious vocif- 
erations.) 

Bennett — There, Master Kelly, you per- 
ceive that I am very poor. 

John — Y"es, sir, and so am I, and I like to be 
with the poor, because they are far more kind 
and generous than the rich. 

Bennett (wiping a tear from his eye) — My 
boy, I can see a noble heart in your breast, 
and you remind me of the happy friends I left 
in my native land, whom I may never see 
again, and who are ignorant of the terrible 
vicissitudes through which I have passed, 
since I left my dear father's roof. 

John — What country is yours ? 

Bennett — Scotland. 

John— Ah! Scotland 1 My adored grand- 
father's native home I O, I love you much 
better, now that I learn you came from Scot- 
land. 



Bennett — No more of this, dear boy. I can- 
not talk of my present poverty, and of my 
native skies, without sad emotions. And now 
to business. Can you write a handsome 
hand ? 

John — I can write a plain hand. 

Bennett — Can you spell well? 

John— Tolerably well, for a poor boy. 

Bennett— Do yon understand figures? 

John — Better than spelling or writing. 

Bennett — How much do you want a week? 

John — Enough to buy shoes and jacket and 
trowsers, and pay my father and mother some- 
thing for my food and lodging. 

Bennett— Well, if you prove active, and 
answer my purpose, I will reward you ac- 
cording to my success in my new enterprise. 

John — When do you want me to come ? 

Bennett — Y r ou may stay now, and, after 
sweeping out the office, aud folding that pile 
of papers in the corner, which I could not sell 
yesterday, you can accompany ine to my 
Printers, Anderson & Ward, in Ann street, 
for the Herald papers of to-day. (John 
sprinkles and sweeps out, and folds the papers 
in half an hour, and he and Bennett start for 
Ann street.) 

Bennett (at his printer's in Ann street) — 
Mr. Anderson, are my papers ready? 

Anderson — Y'es, but you can't have them 
until you pay me for them. 

Bennett — I have not got enough. 

Anderson — Then you can't have theru. 

Bennett — But the newsboys are outside, 
waiting for them. 

Anderson — I can't help that. 

Bennett — But, my dear sir, do let rn> have 
them. 

Anderson — I shan't do it. 

Bennett — Will you take my watch ,' 

Anderson — I have taken that twenty times, 
and, as I am not a pawnbroker, I am sick of 
taking your watch as security for the results 
of my honest labor. 

Bennett — Do take it once more. 

Anderson — I told you, when you last re- 
deemed it, that I should not take it again. 

Bennett (crying) — Do take it once more, 
Mr. Anderson. 

Anderson — No, sir. Here, Rnfus, put these 
E'er aids in a box, and nail it, and take the box 
to my house. 

John — Do take his watch once more, kind 
sir. Mr. Bennett has just employed me, and 
I'm not afraid to trust him. Besides, just look 
at his tears. See how big they are, and how 
fast they flow and roll down his manly cheeks. 
Do, sir, O do let him have the papers, and 
spare his tears, and heal his broken heart. 



2 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



Anderson (looking over his spectacles) — 
"Who the devil are you? 
John— I am Johnny Kelly. 
Anderson — What! Does your father live 
in the Fourteenth Ward '. 

John — Yes, sir, and that's just where I was 
horn, and have always lived, and always mean 
to, and die there also, and, if possible, 1 in- 
tend to be buried there, in some beautiful 
cemetery, because I most fondly love the good 
and generous people of the Fourteenth Ward. 
And now, Mr. Anderson, have I not often 
seen you at my lather's, on winter evenings, 
telling each other fanny and pleasing stories 
of the past ? 

Anderson — Seen me at your father's, you 
young rogue ? Why, to be sure you have. I 
came to America with your fat her aud mother, 
and my wife was present when you were born 
in Molt street, and after your mother got well, 
we had a great frolic at your Christening, and 
went to the Park Theatre, and you were the 
fattest and prettiest baby I ever saw. 

John — You don't say so ? Give roe your 
hand — 

Anderson (jumping over the counter) — 
and a kiss, too, you rosy little rascal. (Kisses 
him, and then turns to Bennett.) There, 
Bennett, take your papers, and give me your 
old dumb silver turnip once more, but I'll be 
hanged before I will ever take itagain. Ami 
you may attribute your good luck this time 
to this bright and pretty and honest little hoy, 
whom I have loved since his infancy. (Ben- 
nett and John take the papers, and let the 
boys outside have some, and then depart for 
No. 20 Wall street.) 

Bennett (on his way to Wall street) — Well, 
my lad, you have saved me to-day, and I'll 
remember it with gratitude as long as I live. 
Tell your father and mother that I will come 
and see them on Sunday evening, and take 
tea with them. You can tell them that I will 
let you have money enough on Saturday 
night to get you a pair of shoes, as it won't 
do for you to bo my clerk with naked feet. 
Besides, I'm afraid you will get nails or splin- 
ters in your bare feet, and have the lock jaw. 
So, John, you had better ask your father to 
let you wear his shoes until Saturday. 

John — Daddy hasn't got any shoes, lie has 
been sick a long time with inflammatory rheu- 
matism, and he can't work any more, and he 
is obliged to go barefooted like myself. 

Bennett — Good Lord ! Then ask your .rother 
to let you wear her shoes until Saturday. 

John — Mother aint got but one pair, and 
they are slippers, and nearly worn out. 

Bennett — Well, then, I must try to get you 
some second-hand shoes in the morning. I 
have only one pair myself, but I think 1 can 
borrow some that are considerably worn from 
one of my room-mates. So, good day, Johnny-, 
and come down early in the morning, and I 
guess I'll have some protection for your ten- 
der feet, 

John — Good day, sir, and I hope you will 
not cry any more until I see you. 

Bennett — -1 thank yon, my dear boy, for 
your genial sympathy, and I will strive not to 
cry again until I see you. So, good by. 

John — Good by, sir. (They separate.) 

(To he continued.) 

Incomparable Meanness. 

I taught Richard T. Oompton grammar and 
composition, while he was President of the 
Board of Aldermen, at his residence, for which 
he never fully paid me. I also went nearly 
two years to Ambrose 0. Kingsland's princely 
residence in Fifth Avenue, for the purpose of 
his education in spelling, grammar, and com- 
position, and he has never paid me. Dick 
Oompton's Bill is small compared with Kings- 
land's, who owes mo a large sum. President 
Compton and Kx-Mayor Kingsland were the 



most corrupt men ever in the City Hall. 1 
have asserted, and still assert, and intend to 
assert, to the very last hour of my existence, 
that one of my Aldermanic pupils of the 
scabby Common Councils of 1851 and 1852, 
assured me that Ex-Mayor Kingsland made 
more money while Mayor in 1851 and 1852, 
than all the Mayors wdio preceded him, and 
that he (my Aldermanic pupil) was an eye 
witness to many of Kingsland's plundering 
operations. So, Compton and Kingsland, just 
put all tins in your pipes and smoke it, and 
now, if you attempt to violate my person (for 
publishing what I and you know to be true, 
and what I yearn to prove in the Courts,) 
you can come on as soon as you please, and 
if 1 don't tumble your thievish carcases into 
the liquid fires of hell, I shall prove an un- 
worthy advocate of the millions you have 
robbed and tried to starve, and of the land of 
Greene and Perry from which I proudly hail. 
I dunned Kingsland a long time for my just 
dues, and wearied and shocked with his mean- 
ness, I sent him a letter long since, presenting 
him with my entire claim for learning him to 
spell the simplest words. And if he will pub- 
lish my letter, I will give him a clock, gilded 
with gold and silver, as an ornament to the 
Chief parlor of his gorgeous mansion, which 
ho stole from the poor creatines who crawl in 
nakedness to the corner groceries for food to 
keep them from the grave. I recently asked 
Compton for an advertisement for the Alliga- 
tor, in order to indirectly get the monej he 
owes me for instruction, but he even declined 
the advertisement. And now I publicly give 
him the entire balance of my claim against 
him for instruction, while he was President of 
the Board of Aldermen. Compton was as 
corrupt when he was in the Common Council 
in 18-15 and 184G, as he was in 1852 and 1853. 
His Ice Partner, Joseph Britton, was Assistant 
Alderman of the Fifteenth Ward in 1848, and 
Alderman in 1849, 1850, and 1851, and (as 
Chairman of the Finance Committee, in con- 
nection with James M. Bard,) he did not steal 
over $200,000. It is most time for Compton 
and Britton to return to the Common Council, 
and make fresh grabs at the pockets and 
throats of the people, who should seize such 
villains and hang them in the Park, and thrust 
their worthless bones into a felon'.s grave. 



Striven p. §nttulj's glliptor. 



NEW Y0KK, SATURDAY, JUNE 19, 1858. 



to know, and, if you don't soon publish the 
interminable list, I will. Is Robert, your 
former book-keeper, and other family rela- 
tives, stdl in the Custom House, and other 
public stations, and to keep them there, do 
you jump Jim Crow from Fremont to Bu- 
chanan, and defend the everlasting Wetmore 
robbers, and the brothers Schell, and other 
public plunderers? You know you do, you 
double-dyed villains. And you know that 
I know that Bennett and Fred and Ned Hud- 
son, and black-mail-bottle-holder-Galbraith, 
and " Obscene-publication"-" British-alien"- 
" thirty-days-in-the-Tombs"-" Drury"-" go- 
between"-Fire Marshal Baker, are an irre- 
deemable band of consummate scamps. I 
mean to strip, and lash, and brand yourselves 
and' whole tribe of vultures, so that you can- 
not longer deceive the people. So, prepare, 
ye two-faced, nauseous, scabby, leprous, and 
hellish gang of thieves, for a dissection that 
will enlarge the eyes of honest men, and 
make them staro like affrighted owds. You 
have quoted Scripture long enough, and I in- 
tend that you shall hereafter quote from your 
friend the Devil, and cease your hypocrisy. 

The Way New York is Bamboozled. 

" First Annual Report of the American and 
Foreign Emigrant Protective and Employ- 
ment Society," of which Peter Cooper is 
President, and Horace Greeley and Solon 
Robinson are Directors. 

AN.NIAL STATEMENT. 

Receipts to date, from all sources — April 
30, 1855. 
By cash received in donations, 

subscriptions, fees, &c, $7,822 67 

$7,822 67 
Payments to Date — April 30, 1855. 



STEPHEN II. BRANCH'S "ALLIGATOR" CAN BE 
obtained at all hours, (day or night,) at wholesale and 
retail, at No. 128 Nassau S'rett, Near Beekman Street, 
and opposite Ross & Tousey's News Depot, New York. 

Spectres and Hobgoblins, 

Poor Helen Jewetfs ghost appeared to James 
Gordon Bennett last night, and he leaped 
from his bed, (a la Richard from his tent,) 
and sweat terribly, and his jaws clattered, 
and his frame trembled, and he screamed for 
Grinnell and others to come to his relief. But 
they could not respond, because they were 
long sinco bled to death in the rear of the 
City Hospital, and are at the High Court of 
God, awaiting the speedy arrival of Bennett's 
soul, which they will convict of crimes that 
will consign his wicked spirit to wasteless 
fires i 

To James Gordon Bennett and Frederic 
Hudson, his Cunning Secretary. 

How many members of your families and 
Herald spies are quartered in the Depart- 
ments of our Municipal Government i in the 
Post Office? in the Custom House? in the 
Departments at Washington ? I am anxious 



$350 38 



444 


50 


1,113 


92 


3,663 


20 


310 


07 


356 


73 


525 


75 


50 00 


482 


33 


525 


79 



Cash paid for repairs and offices 

" furniture and office 

fittings, 
" rents, firing, &c, 

" salaries, 

" petty disbursements, 

" advertisements, 

" books, stationery aud 

printing, 
" licenses, 

" transportation of emi- 

grants, 
Balance of cash on hand, 



$7,822 67 
We do hereby certify that we have examin- 
ed the books of account of the American and 
Foreign Emigrant Protective and Employ- 
ment Society, and audited the above account, 
and find the same correct. 

jAsrEIi E. COKNINQ, ) n ■., 

H. Plasten, \ OmmtUt. 

New York, May 22, 1855. 

So that " $482,33, for transportation of 
emigrants,' 1 '' was every cent (out of the an- 
nual receipts of $7,822,67) that was devoted 
to the legitimate objects of the Society. This 
is the boldest robbery of a Charitable Society 
on record, though the following is close at its 
heels : 

Official Statement of the Hunter Woodis 

Academy of Music Cedieo Ball. 

Receipts, (rogues' exhibit) $9,202 .30 

Expenses, (rogues' exhibit,) 4,288 72 



Balance disbursed for John Heeler * 
Bread, with a very small balance 
still in the hands of rogues 4,913 58 

Peter Cooper was also President of this 

Ball, and Mayor Tiemann and James W. Gerard 

the Secondary Malingers. 

Official Statement of the Crystal Palace Ball, 
of which Petc-r Cooper was the President, 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



:3 



and Mayor Tiemann and James W. Gerard 

the Secondary Managers. 
Receipts, (rogues' exhibit,) $10,147 38 

Expenses, (rogues' exhibit,) 6,828 03 

Balance still in hands of the Hunter 

Woodis Roguish Managers, 3,310 35 

So that not one cent of the enormous receipts 
of this famous Ball has heen devoted to the 
purchase of one little loaf of John Eecker's 
Bread, nor to the relief of the indigent thou- 
sands, whom the receipts of this Ball were in- 
tended to relieve. The Hunter Woodis So- 
net;/ Managers told me on Monday last, that 
the receipts of the Crystal Palace "Ball were 
$10,147,38, and that the expenses were 
$6,828,03, leaving a balance in the hands of 
their Treasurer of $3,319,35, which is now in 
their Safe, and that they have not disbursed 
one cent for bread nor any thing else for the 
relief of the poor, and do not intend to, until 
the next winter. I had a long interview with 
the officers of the self-constituted Hunter 
Woodis Society, (at their official quarters,) 
who are remarkably well clad, and smelt very 
strongly of cologne and pomatum, and they 
seemed extremely happy in their gaudy easy 
chairs, aud 1 learn that they can often be seen 
on the fashionable avenues with fast steeds, and 
at the Italian Opera, and the aristocratic clubs. 
One of the leaders of the Hunter Woodis So- 
ciety (doubtless fearing that I was about to 
let loose my Alligator upon himself and asso- 
ciates,) breathed honied words during my visit 
to the Society, and boldly said that Peter 
Cooper was any tiling but an honest man, but 
that the Hunter Woodis Managers were all 
honorable men, and that all the members of 
the Hunter Woodis Society were Know Noth- 
ings. He told me this three times, lest I 
should forget it, the fool supposing that I re- 
garded Know Nothing thieves with less 
abhorrence than Irish or British thieves, of the 
Busteed, Connolly, or Matsell brand. I believe 
that most of the charitable funds of the 
" American and Foreign Emigrant Protective 
and Employment Society," and of the " Acad- 
emy of Music and Crystal Palace Balls," have 
gone into the pockets and bellies and bladders 
of the scoundrels who collected those sacred 
funds for the immediate relief of the Emigrants 
and Starving Poor of New York. 

Startling Revelations. 

In my coming revelations of Bennett and 
Hudson's rascalities, I shall prove that the 
former strove to black mail me during my 
protracted Mnemonic Controversy with Pro- 
fessor Francis Fauvel Gourard in 1843, for 
which I drew a revolver on Satan in the Her- 
ald office. I shall also prove that I got Bennett 
the Corporation Printing at $3,000 per annum, 
through my influence with my Aldermanic 
pupils, — that I wrote the Printing Re- 
port, proposing to give Bennett $3,000 a 
year for t lie Common Council Printing, and 
the other Journals only §1,000 a year, — that 1 
told Bennett I was teaching the Aldermen, 
and, among them. Alderman A. A. Denman, 
of the Sixteenth Ward, who was Chairman of 
the Committee to whom tlie Corporation 
Printing was referred, — that I bet Bennett 
$100 that I would get the Corporation Print- 
ing for the Herald at $3,000 per annum, — that 
I not only wrote the Printiug Report for the 
Committee, but got it adopted by both Boards 
of the Common Council, and got the Mayor 
to sign it, when Bennett gave me the $100, 
which was a part of the $250 that I have 
only received from Bennett during my volun- 
tary connection with the Herald since 1836, — 
that after I got the Corporation Printing for 
Bennett, I continued to scourge the Common 
Council through the Fire Reports of Alfred 
Carson, aud a Caucus was held, and a vote 
passed, demanding me to cia.-e rr.y philippic; 



against the Common Conncil, because they 
had given Bennett the Corporation Printing 
at my request, — that I told the Alderman who 
was delegated by the Aldermanic Caucus to 
request me to cease my philippics, that I should 
not comply with their monstrous demand, 
and that I would see Bennett and Hudson and 
the Herald, effaced from the earth, before I 
would desert Alfred Carson and his noble 
band of firemen, — that this Alderman then 
went to Bennett, (by direction of the Caucus,) 
and requested him not to publish my Fire 
philippics against the Common Council, and 
Bennett, (fearing they would deprive him of 
the Printing if he refused,) cowardly and 
mercenarily complied, and also pledged 
himself to conceal the anticipated rob- 
beries of 1852 and 1853,— that the 
Common Council was so pleased with 
Bennett's course, that they made him over- 
tures, through which he acquired a princely 
fortune, as he did under Fernando Wood's ad- 
ministration, — that one of the members of the 
Committee, who reported in favor of Bennett's 
Printing, (who was my pupil,) received by a 
vote of the Common Council, 204 valuable lots 
on the banks of the East River, which he 
holds to this day, — that this corrupt Alder- 
man boldly besought me, at his house at mid- 
night, to abandon Alfred Carson, and go into 
the embraces of the Common Council, which 
would ensure me a splendid fortune, — that I 
nearly smote him on the spot with my male- 
dictions and my indignant glances, — that this 
Alderman w as a bosom friend and confidant 
of the then Aldermen Tiemann and Peter 
Cooper, — that he is the sacred friend of Mayor 
Tiemann and Peter Cooper now, — that Mayor 
Tiemann and Peter Cooper fear this Alderman, 
who has known them and all their political vil- 
lainy since 1828, — that this is the Alderman 
who first told me of Mayor Tiemann's and 
Peter Cooper's public robberies, — that Mayor 
Tiemann was an Alderman of the Common 
Council that gave Bennett the Corporation 
Printing, and voted for it, — that this Alder- 
man introduced me to Alderman Tiemann on 
the very day that Tiemann originated the 
Ward Island Purchases, which have been and 
are the foulest sources of corruption and plun- 
der in the annals of municipal legislation, — 
that Tiemann and this Alderman acted in con- 
cert in the Ward Island Purchases, and he as- 
sured me at the time that Tiemann was the 
slyest and most pliable member of the Board 
of Aldermen, when there was an enormous 
sum to be made at one grab, but that Tiemann 
would not peril his reputation by embarking 
in small plundering operations — that Gov. 
Wm. T. Pinkney recently told 'me in the rear 
of his Insurance Office in Wall street, that this 
was precisely Tiemann's course while a mem- 
ber of the Board of Ten Governors, who 
never could be drawn into small ope- 
rations. I will also prove that Bennett 
has always been a Secret Corporation 
Plunderer, and also a Stato and National 
Thief, — that his unceasing denunciation of 
the Common Council, and the Legislature, 
and Congress, is only to blind the people, 
and enable him to steal the more, — that 
Frederick Hudson, his Secretary, while Ben- 
nett was in Europe, got $30,000 from the 
Common Council, for suppressing one of 
Alfred Carson's terrible philippics against 
the Corporation, at the election of all the As- 
sistant Engineers of the Fire Department, — 
that one of my Aldermanic pupils assured 
me that $30,000 was the sum that Hud- 
son received, and which I publicly nail- 
ed on the brow of Hudson at the time, 
in the iV r <??o York Sim, and other Jour- 
nals, including the Firemen's Journal. These 
are only some of the numerous villanies I 
shall prove against these scoundrels. I will 
also show that Bennett and Fred and Ned 



Hudson conceived the Parker Vein and Potosi 
Swindles, through which thousands were 
ruined, including widows and orphans, and 
my brother William and his wife and interest- 
ing children, who were reduced from affluence 
and happiness, to utter destitution. Poor 
brother William is now a skeleton and shadow 
and wanderer in the streets of Saint Louis, and 
forever separated from his wife and adored 
offspring, through the heartless mercenary 
macliinatious and deviltry of Bennett and the 
Hudsons of the Herald. When the details of 
these Revelations are spread before the world, 
the question will be forever settled as to the 
overshadowing Black Mail Operations of the 
J¥ew York Herald. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year ISo", by 

STEPHEN 7 II. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H Branch. 

From Louisville I went to Wheeling, and 
thence to Baltimore, where I visited a noble 
youth who had been my classmate, and dur- 
ing my illness at Columbian College, he was 
ever by my side, when young White was ab- 
sent. He was now an invalid, and about to 
leave for the Meditterranean in a clipper ves- 
sel, owned by his lather, and strongly urged 
me to accompany him without charge. Iu 
about a week we left Baltimore for Gibraltar, 
with the captain, first and second mate, and a 
choice crew. We had but one gale in the At- 
lantic, and, after a brief sojourn at Gibraltar, 
we passed on, touching at various ports, until 
we reached Alexandria. We visited the 
Pyramids, and passed a moonlight evening on 
the Nile, and went to Damascus, Jerusalem, 
Constantinople, Athens, and Rome, where 
we sailed on the Tiber, and reveled on 
the soil of the departed Romans. We left for 
Baltimore, and had terrific gales iu the Medit- 
terranean, and in the Atlantic. About ten 
days before our arrival in Baltimore, my 
friend died, which shook me to the soui with 
grief. On our arrival at Baltimore, his father 
and mother and sisters kissed the dust in 
agony, and treated me like a son or brother. 
The father gave me $100, and I departed for 
New York, in deep affliction at my irreparable 
loss of a generous youth who had been so 
kind to me. I became ill, and nearly died, 
and exhausted the $100, and wrote to father, 
who sent me money, and I recovered after a 
severe struggle with the arrows of death. I 
again saw Lewis Tappan, and began to teach 
colored persons, for which I received a miser- 
able pittance. I now obtained board in 
Beekman street, with Mrs. Triplet - , some of 
whose boarders were named Thompson, 
Woodbury, Chapman, and Cutiiffe. A Mr. 
Bliss boarded there, who had been an eminent 
bookseller, and an early friend to William 
Cullen Bryant, and, as he was now very poor, 
Mr. Bryant obtained a situation for him in the 
Custom House. Mr. Bryant often came to 
Mrs. Tripler's to see Mr. Bliss, and they 
weekly dined at the Spanish Hotel, in Fulton 
street. It was a pleasing and noble spectacle 
to behold Mr. Bryant's fidelity to Mr. Bliss ir. 
his penury and old age. Henry J. Raymond 
(now editor of the New York Times) was in 
the employ of Horace Greeley, at $4 a week, 
with a promise of more, if hn 2 j rovcd true to 
Greeley, and became an expert paragraphist. 
Raymond roomed and slept with my brother 
Thomas, at a boarding house in Beekman 
street, near mine, and they each paid $1 75 a 
week, for board and lodging, exclusive of 
washing, ironing, and mending. Their room 
was next to the roof, and their only window 
was the sky light. There was a large pillar 
in the centre of their funny little extra attic 
cubby-hole, which had recently been placed 



STEPHEN H.IBHAN CITS ALLIGATOR. 



mere, to prevent the dilapidated and shrunken 
and sunken roof from utterly caving in, and 
buryiDg the entire inhabitants of the superan- 
nuated edifice, including the Lieutenant Gov- 
ernor in embryo of the Empire State. A man 
ninety-four years old lived over the way, who 
told me that he was born in the venerable 
building in question, and that his aged aunt 
often told him that she was born there, and 
that the building could not be less than one 
hundred and seventy years old. 1 closely 
examined the beams and chimneys, and form- 
ed the opinion that it bad seen nut less than 

two hundred winters, including summer tor 
nadoes. 1 often visited brother Thomas, and 
always dreaded climbing the ladder that led 
to his and Raymond's apartment. And wlicn 
1 entered their comic room, 1 had to take off 
my hat, and squat down, and often when I 
arose to depart, I bumped my head severely 
against the pigeon-bouse ceiling. But Tommy 
and the proud Governor and Editor in the in- 
visible future were very short, and could walk 
erect as turkeys without bumping their heads, 
and they ival'h seemed to enjoy their little 
oven amazingly. They had but one squeak- 
ing cot, (that Parson Brown, their host, 
bought at auction,) and only one stool, and a 
pine table with only three legs. The fourth 
leg was Raymond's cane, which he placed 
under the table when he wrote bis $t a week 
articles for Greeley's Tribune. And it was a 
funny spectacle for me to see Raymond seat- 
ed on the stool, beside the three legged pine 
table, (with his hair shaved to the skull.) 
writing for his life, with Tom on the squeal- 
ing cot, waiting for Raymond to close his last 
paragraph, so that he (Tom) could have a 
chance to write a letter in answer to an Ad- 
vertiser in the New York Sun for a clerk. 
They bad no wash bowl, nor pitcher, nor 
comb, nor looking glass, and washed their 
hands and face in the yard with cistern water. 
I bought a pocket comb for Tommy, which 
he often loaned to Raymond, and finally sold 
it to him for a free ticket to a concert, which 
Greeley gave Raymond. I at last obtained a 
situation for Tommy, and about daylight 
rushed into his boarding house, (the dour was 
always open all night,) and up I tlew the last 
Sight of stairs and precarious ladder, and 
popped into their cosy room, and there they 
lay, reposing and dreaming of the past, and 
of better day- in perspective. Tommy was 
on his side, and his face was partially eclipsed 
with his sheet, but Raymond was flat on his 
back, and lie had a tooth-ache poultice on his 
cheek, covered with bis handkerchief, which 
encircled hi.-- head around his ears, and he 
looked pale, and plaintive, and cap.' worn, 
and I pitied him. I softly thrust my hand 
into the clothes, in pursuit of Tom's feet, 
which I began to tickle, when Tom (who was 
always as nervous and ticklish as a very siis- 
eeptible girl) suddenly popped over on the 
other side, and gave Raymond's poultice a 
hang, when the latter gave a growl, and 
popped over on his other side, and, in doing 
so, dislocated his poultice, which came out in 



great prolusion, 
down into his n 
vet the ( lovernof 
e& on, a> though 
then made another 



iL>i 1 OX 

u and 1 

li unfli'. 



n all over iii^ face and 

ud the bed clothes, and 
Editor in embryo snor- 
ing had transpired. 1 
imge for Tommy's feet, 
md grabbed one, and hold it, and tickled it 
tremendously, which proved to be Raymond's, 
who darted up from Ids pillow, and exclaim- 
ed: "Sir: What under Heaven are you doing 
with my feet? I demand you to let them 
alone. I despise your impertinence," and, 
without waiting for my explanation or apolo- 
gy, he violently buried himself in the clothes, 
and off he went into a profound and noisy 
slumber. I seized Tom by his ear and hair 
and arm, and dragged him from the bed, and 
lie unconsciously pulled all Hie bed clothes 



with him, as he was yet about half asleep. It 
always took about half an hour to thoroughly 
arouse Tom from bis morning orisons. But 
when i told Tom I had got him a situation, he 
awoke mighty quick. Raymond was so mad 
to find himself stripped of all the bed clothes, 
that he threatened to tell Parson Brown, the 
host, but Tom told him if ho did, that he 
would give him the worst thrashing he ever 
had, which made Raymond tremble. Although 
Tom was much shorter and weighed infinitely 
less than Raymond, yet he could strike a 
powerful blow", and Raymond knew it. Tom 
and Raymond slept together two nights alter 
that, without saying a word to each other, 
lint Sunday morning came, and ns Raymond 
was a stiff Presbyterian, and attended Dr. 
Potts' Church, ho extended the hand of for- 
- and friendship to little Tommy, who 
acci pted his apology, and they were sweeter 
friends than ever. I now get mournful 
intellignce from New Orleans and Provi- 
dence. I receive news of the death of my 
dear brother Albert at New Orleans, and my 
father writes me that my wife's father told 
him that he was about to induce his daughter 
to apply for a divorce from mo. My lather 
told him that I had been in delicate health 
for several years, which had kept me very 
p 00r) — that he was obliged, from humanity, 
to send me money occasionally, and that under 
these melancholy circumstances, and in view 
of all that bad "transpired in previous years, 
if he chose to induce his daughter to apply 
for a divorce, he could not help it, and that 
probably neither himself nor myself would 
oppose it. My father-in-law then said that 
there was no' alternative, and his daughter 
would apply for a divorce immediately, and 
my father and father-in-law bade each other 
a cold farewell, and never recognised each 
other afterwards. The divorce soon followed, 
to which I made not the shadow of resistance. 
What rendered the divorce extremely painful 
was the almost daily visits of my wife to my 
father's house ever since my disastrous crisis 
in 1837, when I was confined in the Provi- 
dence jail. And even after the divorce, my 
faithful and unfortunate wife continued her 
visits to my father's for a long period, without 
the knowledge of her father and mother, and 
wept, and wailed, (as my step mother has 
often told me.) like the disconsolate and ever- 
weeping Niobe. My father-in-law owned 
several ships, and not long after the divorce, 
the carrying trade was suddenly paralysed, 
and be 'failed for an immense sum, and he 
struggled, and tottered, and fell, and never 
recovered his commercial position. And the 
magnificent mansion in which I was married, 
was violently seized during his occupation, 
and his furniture thrown into the street, and 
himself and family ruthlessly ejected from 
its palacioUS halls. I lamented his downfall, 
hut his fellow merchants did not, as they ever 
regarded him as a merciless miser. 1 brooded 
long on my wife's calamities and my own, and 
with a melancholy heart T went to Saint 
Thomas's Church on ? cloudy summer day, and 
tie- Sexton politely escorted me to a pew. 
I had not long been seated, when a youth 
entered with beautiful eyes aud hair and 
features of touching sadness, and took a seat 
beside me. He so strongly resembled a youth 
named Charles Mantou, who early died, (and 
whom I loved as no other being not of my 
kindred blood,) that I could not withdraw 
my eyes from his fascinating form and expres- 
sion." During the prayers and chanuts, we di- 
vided the sacred book between us, and at the 
close of the exercises, we left the pew to- 
gether. As wo were about to leave the church, 
I inquired his name, and residence, which he 
readilv imparted, informing me that his name 
was Charles A. Je.sup,— that he had recently 
lost his father,— that his mother resided in 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit — From two to four seconds, or as long as the Ad- 
vertiser can hold his breath 1 Letters and Advertisements to 
be left at No. 128 Nassau Btrect, third floor, back room. 

A~LANSONT. BRIGGS— DEALER IN FLOUR BARRELS, 
Moiatses Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks. 
Also, new flour barrels and half barrels; a large supply 
constantly on hand. My StoieB are at Nos. 62, 63, 64, 69. 
78, 75, 77 and 79 Rutger's flip ; at 286. 237, and 239 Cherry 
street ; also, in South and Water streets, between I'lke and 
Rutger's Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in 
Williamsburgh are at Furman & Co 's Dock. My yards in 
New York are at the corner of Water and Gouverneur 
streets; and in Washington street, near Canal ; and at Le- 
roy Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger's Slip. 
ALANSON T. BRIGGS. 

Q AMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP A STEAMBOAT BUILDER.— 
O My Office Is at No. 81 Corlears street, New York; and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpolnt. I have built 
Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a 
long term of years, and continue to do so on reasonable 
rms. SAMUEL SNEDEN. 



JOHN B. WEBB, BOAT HOLDER, 71? WATER STREET. 
My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those 'of any Boat Builder In the World. Give me a call, 
and if I don't please you, I will disdain to charge you for 
what does not entirely satisfy you. JOHN B. WEBB. 



FULTON IRON WORK S.-JAMES MURPHY & CO., 
manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, 
&c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East 
River. 



BRADUICK & HOGAN, SAILMAKERS, No. 272 South 
Street. New Yoik. 
Awnings, Tents, and Bags made to order. 

JESSE A. BRADDICK, 
RICHARD IIOGAN. 

WILLIAM II. SOMERV1LLE, WHOLESALE AND 
Retail Druggist and Apothecary. 205 Blcecker st , 
corner Mineua, opposite Cottage Place, New York. All the 
popular Patent Medicines, fresh Swedish Leeches, Cun- 
ning, 4c. Physicians' Prescriptions accurately prepared. 
r WM. M. SOMEKVILLE. 



AW. & T. HUME, MERCHANT' TAILORS, No. 
. 82 Sixth Avenue, New York. We keep a large and 
elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman re- 
quires. We make Coats, Vests and Pants, after the latest 
Parisian fashions, and on reasonable terms. 

A. W. & T. HUME. 



T 1 



HE WASHINGTON, By BARTLETT & GATES. 
No. 1 Broadway, New York. Come and see us, good 
fnenda. imd eat and d'Jnk and be merry, in ihe same capa- 
cious and patriotic halls where the immortal Washington's 
voice and laugh uncc reverncf-iUd. 
O come to cur lintel. 
And you'll be treaied well. 

BARTLETT & GATES. 



.!. 



N. GEMN, FASHIONABLE IIaTTEB, 214 Broad- 
way. New York. 



G 



ENIN'S LADIES' & CHILDREN'S OUTFIT! INO 
Bazaar, 513 Broadway, (St Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.l 



I -DWARD PHaLON <fe SON, 497 and 517 Ilroadwiy, 
v i New York — Depots lor the sale of Perfumery, and 
every article connected with the Toilet. 

Wo nowinliodnce the •'BOUQUET D'OGARITA, Or 
Wild Flower of Mexico," which is superior to any thing of 
ihe kind in the civilized world. 

EDWARD PHALON & SON. 

I. XCELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 CENTRE ST., IS 
L furnished with every facility, latest improved presses, 
and the newest styles of type— for the excution of Book, 
Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens. 



CMIARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, (ESTABLISHED IN 
/ 1S08,) Sign of the Golden Horse, 89 Bowery, New Y'ork, 
opposite the Theatre. Mr. V. will sell his articles as low on 
any other Saddler in America, and warrant thorn to be equal 
to any in the World. 



N. WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 
451 Broadway, bet. Grand and Howard Btreets, New 
York. My Iceland' Moss aud Flaxseed Candy will cure 
Coughs null Sneezes in a very short time. __ 



H. 



JAMES GRIFFITHS, (Late CtlATFIELD 4 GRIFFITHS,) 
No. 278 Grand St., New York. A large stock of well-se- 
lected Cloths, Cassimeres, Testings, Ac , on hand. Gent's, 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in the most 
approved atyie. AUclwapforCMB. 

AUG. BRENTANO, SMITHSONIAN NEWS DEPOT, 
Books and Stationery, 60S BROADWAY, corner of 
Houston street. 

Subscriptions for American or Foreign Papers or Books, 
from the City or Country, will be promptly attended to. 

Foreign Papers received by every Btearner. Store open 
from 6 A. M. to It P. M throughout the week. 



PC GODFREY, STATIONER, BOOKSELLER, AND 
. General News dealer, 631 Broadway, New York, 
near 18th street. 

At Godfrey's— Novels, Books, Ac, all the new ones cheap 
At Godfrey's — Magazines, Fancy Articles, Ac, cheap. 
At Godfrey's— Stationery of all kinds cheap. 
At Godfrey's— All the Daily and Weekly Papers. 
At Godfrey's— Visiting Cards Printed at 75 cents per pack 
At Godfrey's— Ladies Fashion Books of latest date. 



C TYSON, CORNER OF NINTH STREET A SIXTH A VK. 
. Has for sale all the late Publications of the day, In- 
cluding all the Dally and Weekly Newspapers. 



JOBSON'S "RED FLAG," OF 

Published a! No 



'EE 

} monetroux news 



THIS DAY. Fol; 
102 Nassau Street 




Volume I— No. 10.] 



SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S57, by 

STEPHEN II. BRANCH. 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H- Branch. 

"Westport, Connecticut, — that he boa riled at 
No. 21 Rleecker street, with Mrs. Mallory, 
and that he was a clerk for Perkins, Hopkins, 
and White, in Pearl street, near Hanover 
Square. I carried some beautiful books to his 
place of business, and requested him to accept 
them. He sweetly smiled, and opened the 
books, ami warmly thanked me, and said he 
would be pleased to receive them, but that as 
I was a stranger, he would rather I would see 
his guardian, Morris Ketcliiim, a Banker in 
Wall street, and give him my name and ad- 
dress, and if he were satisfied with my refer- 
ences, and approved of his acceptance of the 
generous gift, he would be most happy to 
receive the books. I was fascinated with his 
modesty, and caution, and I took the books, 
and repaired to the Banking llotmo of Mr. 
Ketchum, to whom I briefly imparted what 
had transpired, and left my references' and 
departed, and called again, when Mr. Ketchum 
said that he had inquired respecting my char- 
acter, and that young Jesup was prepared to 
receive my books, which I soon placed in his 
bands, and our acquaintance began under the 
most favorable allspices. I soon invited him 
to dine with me at Mrs. Tri pier's, when all 
the boarders were enchanted with his beatiti- 
f il person, and pleasing manners, and highly 
c titivated mind; and I shall never forget how 
pr.md I was, as he sat beside ine. After dinner, 
1 invited him to my room, where 1 gave him 
ca'.e and lemonade, and filled his packets with 
delicious oranges. I then played " Washing- 
ton's March," "Yankee Doodle," and "Hail 
Columbia," for him on the piano, and ho de- 
parted for his place of business, lie went 
with me to Niblo's Garden, then in its glory, 
and as we strolled arm-in-arm in the mean- 
dering paths, and inhaled the exhilarating 
perfume of the flowers, I was charmed with 
liis chaste society, and enraptured and inspired, 
and I breathed the music of language in his 
ears, and we both were invested with the 
purest and loftiest and happiest emotions. In 
a week from that joyous evening, he was 
seized with bleeding of the lungs, caused by 
excited feelings, during his enthusiastic efforts 
to please his employers, in the sleepless busi- 
ness season of early autumn. He was borne 
to his mother's abode in the country, where 
he soon calmly resigned his soul to the Sa- 
viour, whose sacred virtues he had always 
strove to imitate. Although I had briefly 
onioyed the pleasure of his society, yet his 



premature demise created a void in my bosom 
that made the world a desolation. His mother 
soon removed to New York, and occupied No. 
30 Bond street, where I gratuitously taught 
her children in English and the classics. But 
the invisible germ of consumption has borne 
to the grave her pure, intelligent, and lovely 
Caroline, Charles, Kichard, and Frederick, 
and Morris, Arthur, Samuel, and Sarah 
anticipate the same remorseless destiny. 
And may God cheer and bless their mother 
in her loneliness and tears. The father 
of this interesting and unfortunate family, 
was prostrated in the commercial crash 
of l8-'i", and his depris.-.d and spotless soul 
fled for refuge to the bosom of his God. 
Morris Ketchum was his early business asso- 
ciate and friend, and has educated his children, 
procured them lucrative clerkships, afforded 
them facilties to visit nearly every nation, 
for health and general culture, estab- 
lished them in houses of commerce, and 
has clung to them, in sun and storm, like 
Pythias to Damon, and like Washington to bis 
country. At this period of my eventful career, 
I taught colored and Irish servants, and those 
of all countries, in their kitchens in the even- 
ing, and sometimes by daylight. Some paid 
me one shilling a lesson, and some two, ac- 
cording to their wages and generosity. I 
taught the servants of the Reverend Doctor 
Waiuright, the Reverend Doctor Orvillo 
Dewey, Daniel Lord, James T. Brady, Mr. 
Bowen, of Brooklyn, (of the firm of Bowen it 
McNamee, of New York,) and the servants of 
other distinguished citizens. I obtained schol- 
ars by going from door to door, in the base- 
ment, and asking the servants if they would 
like to learn to spell, read, write, and cipher. 
My health had been nrift rabj , since I left 
Columbian College, and I often expected to 
fall dead in the street, or suddenly expire in 
the presence of my pupils. For a long period 
after young Jesup died, I was very gloomy, 
and became utterly helpless and bed-ridden, 
and called oftener on my father for money 
than I desired, to pay for board and medical 
attendance. 1 got better, and crawled out 
into the open air, and went in pursuit of schol- 
ars in a snow storm. I began tit the Battery, 
and applied at every door, until I came to 
No. 70 Greenwich street, when I was asked to 
come in and warm myself, by a daughter of 
the lady of the house, who kept boarders, 
After a long conversation, by a cheerful fire, 
1 was engaged to teach the daughter in the 
English branches, for my breakfast and tea, 
and a very small dark room as a place of lodg- 
ing, which I could not conveniently occupy 
without a candle in the day time. Humble 



as were to be my accommodations, my feel- 
ings were extremely buoyant, and my ghastly 
form trembled with delight at my unexpected 
resurrection from the depths of indigence and 
despair. Mr. Ditchett, (subsequently a very 
efficient Captain of the fourth Ward Police, 
and a brave fireman, and an honest man,) had 
just married the eldest (laughter, whose sister 
was to be my pupil. I was kindly treated, 
and remained until the first of May, when I 
went to Dey street, and afterwards to tho 
Graham House, at No. G3 Barclay street, 
where I saw the lean Horace Greeley, 
one of the founders of the Graham System. 
The boarders were mostly skeletons, and 
several were limping about the house, like 
frogs or lizzards or grasshoppers, and among 
the limpers, was Horace Greeley, who had 
what the Grahamites called a boiling crisis, 
or crisis of boils, which was the result of 
youthful indiscretion, shower bathing, and 
eating heartily of bran bread, mush and mo- 
lasses, squashes, turnips, beets, carrots, pars- 
neps, and onions, for a long term of years. 
Although I had been a miserable invalid a 
large portion of my days, yet I fancied a speedy 
restoration to health, by eating unbolted 
wheat bread and vegetables, and frequent 
bathing. I entered into a spirited conversa- 
tion with Greeley, who was reclining on the 
sofa, and in a loquacious mood, who told me 
that he expected to be quite smart after tho 
disappearance of a large number of boils then 
all over his person, which he attributed to salt 
rheum, that he inherited from his father, and 
which was recently driven to the surface of 
his skin by a rigid adherence to the Graham 
System, and three shower baths a day; and he 
advised me to begin to bathe immediately, and 
to eat nothing but Graham bread for one 
month, with warm water, milk, and sugar. I 
asked Greeley if he was sure it was the 
secondary or inherited salt rheum that had 
come to the surface of his snowy flesh in the 
form of boils, and he said be was q^ite sure it 
was, as his father had it from his boyhood. I 
asked him if his secondary or inherited salt 
rheum ever itched, and he said yes, some- 
times, but he was sure it was not the second- 
ary itch, as he never had the first itch. 1 then 
looked him dead in the eye, and asked him if 
be was positively sure his boils were not the 
result of itch, and he asked me what I meant 
by such severity of scrutiny. I replied, that 
I once had the itch, and read many books on 
the subject, and knew all about it. and that 
his boils (he had two on his pale nose) looked 
very much like secondary itch blossoms. He 
cast searching glances, and sat in paralytio 
silence, save when he scratched his boils, and 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



the bell summoned me to my first Graham 
dinner, and Greeley hopped to the table on 
one leg, and sat near Mrs. Guss at the head of 
the Graham festive board. About forty 
skeletons were present, and among them were 
Sylvester Graham (Bread,) himself, on a 
lecturing tour from his country seat at North- 
ampton'; John McCraeken, of New Haven; 
Ralph Waldo Emerson; Abby Kelly; Fred 
Douglas and lady ; Francis Copcutt, mahogany 
dealer, who used to eat raw oats, and ride 30 
miles a day on a hard trotting horse for dys- 
pepsia; Jeremiah 0. Lanphear, tailor, and 
now first deacon and missionary of the Fulton 
street Dutch Presbyterian Church, who had 
a gravel nearly as large as General Winfield 
Scott's^ which" was (lie largest that ever 
emanated from a human bladder ; Mrs. Farn- 
ham, the accomplished lady and genuine phi- 
lanthropist, and wife of the noble and famous 
California traveler, who was the rival of 
Fremont as a mountaineer ; Mrs. Anna Ste- 



phens, 



the fertile and ger.ial authoress; th 



il ibrated Doctor Shew and lady; Mrs. Storms, 
i • Troy, and long a writer and foreign corres- 
n indent of the New York Sun, and now of 



Galu- 



Texas; poor MacDonald Clark, the poet 
tia B. Smith ; Matthew B. Brady, the daguer- 
reotypist, who married his sweetheart at the 
Graham House, and the room being crowded, 
I saw the exercises through the key hole; 
Mrs. Travis; Albert Brisbane, a moonlight 
dreamer; Mrs. Andrews, a strong Unitarian, 
(ninety-eight years old,) and her grandson, 
Albert L. Smith, a nervous and catarrhal 
gentleman, who now keeps a Graham House 
and Water Cure Establishment in West Wash- 
ington Place; Dr. John Burdell, brother of 
Dr. Harvey Burdell, who was assasinated at 
No. 31 Bond Street; Leroy Sunderland, a 
Mesmeriser and Pathetic lecturer; John M. 
King; George Foss; Dr. Henry W. Brown; 
E. Gould Buffum, and his brother, William 
Buffum ,now Consul at Trieste; Mrs. Horace 
Greeley; Mr. Clntz; Mrs. Van Vleet ; 
Messrs. Tyler, Bennett, (a tailor), Otis, and 
Ward; Mrs. Gove; C. Edwards Lester; Mr. 
Danforth, a spurious reformer; the brothers 
Fowler, phrenologists ; father Miller, the Mil- 
lenium impostor; Mr. Seymour, a journeyman 
hatter at Beebe's, who got among the noisy 
methodists, who frightened him into a danger- 
ous nervous affection, and in bed one night, 
poor Seymour felt cold and strange and numb, 
and pinched himself in the arms and legs, and 
it did't hurt him, and he thought he was dead, 
and he got up, and kindled a match, and lit a 
candle, and looked in the glass to see whether 
he was dead or alive, and when he saw his 
eyes roll, and his jaws open and close, he got 
into bed, and went to sleep. This was the 
gang at table, and for dinner, we had bran 
bread and crackers, bean soup, roast apples 
and potatoes, and boiled squash and carrots, 
but not a particle of meat, grease, nor spices. 
All grabbed violently at the Graham viands, 
and brought their teeth together like swine, 
and with similar grunts and squeals. I calmly 
surveyed the motley and hungry group, and 
saw many small piercing gray eyes, hollow 
cheeks, and sharp chins and noses, and 
the voices of nearly all were husky and 
fearfully sepulchral. The themes dis- 
cussed were Anti-Slavery and Grahamism, 
and I soon perceived it extremely perilous to 
breathe a word against the ultra views of 
the susceptible and long-haired Graham 
spectres, who seemed united to a ghost 
on these prolific themes. So, I listened and 
breathed not a syllable in opposition to the 
crazy views advanced. I took a stroll after 
dinner, and returned at sunset, and seated 
myself for my evening meal, when we had 
Graham-bread-coffee, milk porridge, apple 
sauce, Graham mush, and boiled rice, spar- 
ingly saturated with molasses and liquid gin- 



ger. I ate and drank freely of this light food, 
and arose from the table in excellent spirits, 
though I belched frequently. My belly soon 
began to swell, and I got alarmed, and I 
asked Mr. Goss, the Graham host, what it 
meant. He seemed perfectly cool, and said 
that his boarders were often affected in that 
way, in passing suddenly from greasy meats to 
the pure food of Grahamites, which was 
chiefly of a vegetable and somewhat of a 
gassy and flatulent character. Goss then left 
me. I thrice paced the parlor hurriedly, and 
began to feel choleric and crampy, and went 
down stairs into the kitchen, and asked Goss 
to send for a physician immediately, which he 
declined to do, as he thought I was only a 
little spleeny, which would soon pass away, 
and advised me to go to bed. He got me a 
Graham candle, and up we went, and did not 
stop until we reached the roof, where he put 
me in a little room, with two cots, on which 
there was a straw mattress, and a straw 
bolster, and scanty covering, ne said good 
night, and shut the door, and I got into bed, 
and strove to sleep. I squirmed like an eel 
for about two hours, and could endure my 
pains no longer, and arose and awoke my 
room-mate, and asked him to escort me to 
the sleeping apartment of Mr. Goss. He did 
so, and I knocked at his door, and out he came 
in his nightcap and white apparel. I told 
him that I had cramps, and had an awful 
quantity of frantic wiud in my stomach, 
and felt as though my belly would burst 
before morning, and that I was deathly sick, 
and asked him what on earth I had eaten at 
his table to give me such violent cramps and 
flatulence and diarrhoea, and nauseous and 
strange emotions. He told me that I was 
nervous, and not accustomed to Graham food, 
but that I soon would be, and urged me to 
again retire, and strive to sleep. He spoke 
these words with kindness, and they soothed 
me, and I shook his hand, and off I went up 
stairs to bed again. But in about ten minutes, 
I had a severe spasm, with choking sensations, 
and I leaped from my nest like a man in his 
last gasp, and unconsciously cast myself on 
the cot of my room-mate, who instantly emerg- 
ed from a profound sleep, and sprang like a 
tiger from his bed, and threw me severely to 
the floor, and cried murder to the pinnacle of 
his voice, and began to pelt me in the most 
brutal manner, leveling the most savage, ran- 
dom blows at my head and stomach. Goss and 
the spectral boarders rushed into the room, 
and Greeley soon came limping in, and they 
searched in vain for knives, revolvers, and 
human blood. And they soon learned the 
cause of the cry of murder, and raised me from 
the floor, and put me into bed, with a bloody 
nose and dark eye, that my room-mate gave 
me, who apologised for his blows on the ground 
that he always slept soundly, and was only 
partially awake when he beat me. I accepted 
Ins apology, and Goss and Greeley, and half- 
a-dozen attenuated Grahamites left me, for 
their beds again, and my chum took a seat by 
my cot, and strove to soothe me. But the 
cramps returned, and I became faint and gid- 
dy, and began to vomit profusely. I soon filled 
basins, pitchers, spit boxes, hats, and boots, 
and deluged every thing we had in the room, 
and my chum got a pitcher and basin in the 
next room, and I soon flooded them, and I 
vomited until I thought I felt my entire bowels 
struggling at my throat to get out, which 
nearly strangled me. At last an enormous 
chunk came out, which proved to be the core 
of a stewed apple, and the crust of Graham 
bread combined into a sort of petrified sub- 
stance, and I began to breathe again, and 
slowly improved till daylight, 

When I embraced a sweet repose, 

And snored like thunder through nly nose. 

(To be continued to my last scream.) 



jsUpfjtn fj. Iraiuli's ^lliptor. 



NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 1858. 



STEPHEN II. BRANCH'S "ALLIGATOR" CAN BE 
obtained at all hours, (day or night,) at wholesale and 
retail, at No. 128 Nassau Strett, Near Beckman Street, 
and opposite Ross & Tousey's News Depot, New York. 

Supervisor Bltmt, and Paul Julien—My 
Last Interview with Madame Sontag. 

When I taught Alderman Orison Blunt the 
English branches at his elegant residence in 
Murray street, I gave instruction to Paul 
Julien, the juvenile Paganini, and to Rocco, 
and also to Madame Sontag in elocution, in 
anticipation of her appearance in English 
Opera at Niblo's, on her return from Mexico. 
At the close of a long and interesting lesson, 
Sontag opened her great heart to me, and dis- 
closed her career from her earliest recollec- 
tion. Her narrative was eloquent and exci- 
ting, and as she sat before me at the parlor 
lattice, in alternate tears and smiles, with the 
moon rolling like a ball of silver through the 
air, she seemed too pure and beautiful for 
earth. Her tears were the very soul of sor- 
row, and none could resist their overwhelm- 
ing influence, — her smiles were irresistibly 
enchanting, — her voice in conversation was 
full of entrancing melody, — her cavern dim- 
ples were the emblems of purity and charity, 
and her entire expression was divine. And as 
her blood warmed, and her bosom rose and 
fell, and her voice trembled and darted from 
the faintest whisper to its highest intonation, 
her glorious eyes reflected gorgeous temples 
in her soul, filled with sinless angels, breath- 
ing sweet music to millions of her species. 
And tha beauteous Sontag told me, as we sat 
together in our last communion as human pil- 
grims, that her childhood, and girlhood, and 
early womanhood were all devoted to the 
cultivation of music for the enjoyment of the 
world more than herself, which rendered her 
early years an utter sacrifice, and had 
deprived her of the pastimes enjoyed by all 
her sex in the morning of life; that from the 
hour she was called " The little Daughter of 
the Danube,'" there was no happiness for her; 
that she was early beset by lovers from nearly 
every nation of Europe ; that kings and queens 
lavished their choicest treasures upon her; 
that princes besought her affections in tearful 
supplications ; that all Franco prostrated her- 
self at her feet ; that amid the flattery and 
adulations of all classes and kingdoms, she 
was induced, in a thoughtless hour, to cast 
herself into the eternal embraces of a being 
who proved a jealous and savage tyrant, and 
a heartless gamester ; that ere her emer- 
gence from the brief hours of bliss that should 
follow the marriage vow, he became odious in 
her eyes, and she beheld a life of misery in all 
her future ; that after years of torture in his 
demon fangs, and after he had squandered her 
splendid fortune of four millions of dollars, lie 
dragged her from the sacred precincts of pri- 
vate life, and from the pleasing society of her 
children, into the public arena, to toil for his 
subsistence ; that he forced her to exchange 
hemispheres, and leave her tender offspring, 
when they most required a mother's protec- 
tion ; that he often brandished a dagger in her 
eyes, when she refused to fill his purse for 
bibbling and gaming purposes ; that she was 
in fear of his poignard throughout her long 
confinement in his hideous clutches ; that for 
his traduction and persecution of Alboni in 
her early years, she resolved to pursue her to 
America to annoy, and, if possible, ruin her, 
for his sake, by singing against her in the 
leading cities ; that on the very day she pub- 
licly announced her intention to visit Amer- 
ica, Alboni went to the Cathedral, and knelt 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



3 



at the altar* and swore that she would pursue 
her through all latitudes, and cut the grass 
heneat]i her feet, to avenge herself on Count 
Eossi, who strove to blight the buds and 
hlossoras of her youth and indigence ; that 
she kept her oath, and followed her through 
city, town, and village, and allured her chor- 
isters, through extravagant salaries and dona- 
tions, and sang on the evenings of her Concert 
and Opera entertainments, and greatly reduc- 
ed her receipts ; that Eossi seized her funds, 
as they accrued, and deposited them in banks 
unknown to her ; that her children often 
wrote in vain for means to defray their 
domestic expenses; that Eossi, and Maretzek, 
and Ulhnan received all the benefit of her 
arduous labors ; that her lovely daughters 
were in the eare of strangers in Europe, and 
exposed to all the sDares of life ; that their 
education was fatally neglected in her ab- 
sence ; that she was a slave to Eossi, Maret- 
zek, and Ullman, all of whom she thoroughly 
despised, and that she had very seriously con- 
templated suicide. And thus did this celes- 
tial being breathe her pensive music in my 
soul, and bathe my vision with nature's hal- 
lowed waters. And amid our mutual tears, 
and smiles, and cheerful tones, and lingering 
glances, she enters the dismal cars, and the 
hell proclaims the parting signal, and she 
penetrates the deep .perspective, until she is 
forever buried from my melancholy view. 
She gives concerts on the borders of the north- 
esn lakes, and visits Cincinnatti, and quarrels 
and separates from Ulhnan, and goes to New 
Orleans, and performs in Opera, and enters 
Mexico, amid the revengeful maledictions of 
Ullman, who, as Eocco told me, dug her early 
grave, by arousing the fearful jealousy of 
Eossi, to whom Ullman wrote from New York, 
that he would find letters in her trunk from 
Pozzolini, the young and fascinating tenor ; 
that Eossi did find letters in her trunk from 
Pozzolini, (filled with the most enthusiastic 
love,) which Eocco said were doubtless placed 
there by UJlnian, prior to her departure for 
Mexico, to- Avenge himself on Sontag, for her 
refusal at Cincinnati to give more Concerts 
under his direction ; that Eossi belched words 
of fire, and threatened her with instant death ; 
that herself and Pozzolini were seized with 
violent pains, on their return from the Mexi- 
can festivals ; that during her confinement, 
Rocco daily called, but was not permitted to 
see her ; that Eossi paced the balcony as a 
sentinel for days and nights, and would let no 
one visit her; that he permitted Eocco to 
enter her apartment only one hour before she 
died, when he found her in the wildest deli- 
rium. And Eocco told me that Sontag and 
Pozzolini were doubtless poisoned by Count 
Rossi, and that Ullman was the instigator. 
Eossi artfully attributed their sudden death 
to cholera, hut the rumor flew on the wings 
of lightning, that Eossi was their murderer, 
and he fled for his life to New York, 
witli all her jewels, and went to Europe. 
And Eocco sorely grieved to see her borne 
to her sepulchre without kindred mourn- 
ers in a far distant land; and when he 
saw her form exhumed, and borne through 
mud and stones, and deposited as luggage in 
the filthy suburbs of Vera Cruz, and exposed 
for weeks to the heat and rain of those wither- 
ing latitudes, — when he gazed at the remains 
of a being who had been the pride and glory 
and adoration of all civilised nations, and who 
had long been his own dear friend, poor Eocco 
prostrated himself beside her coffin, and wept 
tor hours in loneliness and utter desolation. 
And now, dear Sontag, I can see thy pure and 
genial spirit in its happy home, heyond the 
pretty stars. And while I indite these melan- 
choly words, thy sweet face smiles upon me 
from my parlor wall, as you appeared in the 
immortal Somnambulist. It is the likeness you 



gave me at our final interview, and represents 
Amina, in the joyous bridal scene with Efaino, 
among her native cottagers in the mountains. 
Ah I Sontag ! I often think of thee, and my 
highest solace is in gazing at thy bewitching 
smile, and laughing eyes, and lovely dimples, 
and even teeth, and classic temples, as de- 
picted in thy likeness, which I shall keep while 
I linger in the dreary paths of earth. And I 
will part with fame and fortune and with life 
itself, ere I will separate from the precious 
picture of my adored Sontag. And my last 
prayer to God shall be, that I may join my 
Parents and Kindred and Sontag in the realms 
of eternal bliss. 

James Gordon Bennett's Editorial 

Career. 

Bennett's office in 1835. 

Enter John Kelly. 

Bennett — "Well, my lad, I have borrowed a 
pair of old shoes for you from my bed-fellow 
in Cross street. They may be rather large, 
but you must contrive to wear them until 
Saturday, when I will get you a new pair, if 
I have the money to spare. Sit down, Johnny, 
and try on the shoes. 

John (puts them on)— They are much too 
large, aint they ? 

Bennett — Well, yes, hut if you put some 
pieces of newspaper in them, you can lessen 
their size. 

John (stuff's them in the heels and toes and 
sides with fragments of the Herald of the 
preceding day) — There, sir, I guess I can wear 
them now, and I am truly obliged to you for 
borrowing them for me. 

Bennett — Notat all, John, for you did more 
than that for me yesterday, in obtaining my 
papers from Mr. Anderson. 

John (in hurriedly walking across the 
office, steps out of one of the aged shoes, but 
steps in again before Bennett's keen eyes per- 
ceived that one foot had stepped out) — That 
was a great pleasure, sir, and I hope you will 
have the same good luck to-day. 

Bennett — I sold very few papers yesterday, 
and I have very little money, and Anderson 
has my watch, and I fear he will not let me 
have the papers until I redeem it, and pay him 
for the Heralds of to-day. 

John — I will do all in my power to obtain 
them for you. 

Bennett — I know you will, my dear little 
friend. But come — we will go and try to get 
the papers. (They arrive at Anderson & 
Ward's, in Ann street. Anderson is absent, 
and Ward is partially drunk and asleep on the 
counter, and Bennett arouses him.) 

Ward — What are you about ? (rubbing his 
eyes and garrping.) What do you want (hie) 
so early in the morning, you vagabonds? 
hie, hec, hoc. 

Bennett — I want my papers. 

Ward — You can't (hie) have them without 
the money, (hoc.) 

Bennett — Please let me have them. 

Ward — Where's your (Lie) watch ? 

Bennett — I let Mr. Anderson have it yes- 
terday. 

W'trd — Don't you (hic-a-che-a-che-Horatio- 
darn it, how I sneeze) sell any Heralds now- 
a-days? a-che-a-che-a-che-Horatio — O, Jeru- 
salem ! will I never stop sneezing ? 

Bennett — It stormed yesterday, and I did 
not sell many, but it is pleasant this morning, 
and I think I shall sell a large number. 

Ward— Well, I'll not be (hie, hie, hie,) too 
hard with you, old fellow. There, take your 
papers, and try hard (hie) to sell (hie) them 
to-day, and (hic-a-che) bring a whole lot 
of money to (hie) morrow. 

Bennett — I will, Mr. Ward, and I'll always 
remember you with gratitude for your gene- 
rosity to-day. Good day, sir. 



Ward — Farewell, old boy. And just shut 
the door after you. I have been (hie) on a 
spree all night, (hec,) and I don't want any 
body else to come in and bother (hie) me, 
until I finish my nap. 

Bennett — I'll lock the door outside, and put 
the key in the window. 

Wrrd — Do so, old (hie) boy, do so. (And 
he goes to sleep, and Bennett and John wend 
their way to Wall street.) 

Bennett — Now, John, this is the last chance 
I shall have. If I fail to sell my papers to-day, 
I am ruined for ever. 

John — Had I not better go into the stores, 
and try to sell the papers. 

Bennett (kisses him in Nassau street) — My 
dear boy, if you will do that, I will love you 
next to my God. My great trouble has been 
to get honest boys to sell my paper, and re- 
turn the money to me, instead of going to the 
Theatre and eating peanuts with my funds. 
Now, you take some, and I'll take some, and 
you take one side of the street and I the other, 
and let us toil for our lives (until the sun goes 
down) to sell these papers, and, if we fail, my 
fate is sealed for time, and perhaps for eter- 
nity! 

John — What! You won't commit suicide ? 

Bennett — God only knows what I shall do. 

John — -Well, I see there's no time to be lost. 
So, give me some papers, and I'll go into the 
first store on this side, and you take the other 
side of the street. (They separate, John going 
into every store on his side, and Bennett into 
every store on the other side, until they arrive 
at Wall street, when they go into Bennett's 
office, in the old rat hole at No. 20 Wall street, 
where-they count their pennies, and find that 
they have sold quite a large number of Her- 
alds. They then drink some water and eat 
some ginger nuts, for their breakfasts, and go 
down Broad street, and enter every store on 
either side, and meet with great success. John 
then t;ikes South street, and Bennett Front 
street, from the Battery to Fulton street, and 
afterwards take Water and Pearl streets, and 
then they canvass either side of Wall street, 
and sell all their Heralds, and go to a Bestau- 
rant and get something to eat, and separate in 
the afternoon in high spirits. John then got 
some boys in the Fourteenth Ward to sell the 
Herald, and in ten days Bennett had about 
$40 surplus, and begins to put on aristocratic 
airs, and domineer over Johnny Kelly. 

(To be continued.) 



For the Alligator. 
Wide-mouth shocking Alligator! 
I wish you were a Boa Constrictor 1 
And crush within your awful fold, 
The villains with our pilfered gold, 
Who, with sanctimonious face, 
Steal with such a pious grace : 
They dance and dress and call it good, 
Because it gives the hungry food. 
But hold your mirror to their face, 
And show them their sad black disgrace : 
One roba the City's golden coffers, 
And then a mighty Fabric offers, 
And tries to court a worldly fame, 
Out of such an impious shame. 
The temple thus to science rears, 
That he may surely soothe his fears, 
Lest his ignorance should bo known, 
And lack of knowledge shown, 
And so the starving, suffering poor, 
He drives them fainting from his door ; 
And tells them : (Oh! how very strange !) 
The Mansion's taken all his change ! 
And in his high, majestic WTath, 
He kicks a female down to earth ' 
The mansion he will never give, 
While one heir of his shaU live. 
See how this modem Simon Magus. 
Blinds our eyes, and then deceives us. 
Soon we shall Bee how very funny, 
He'll make his " Union" yield him money : 
He finds it is so very pretty. 
To have a Mayor made of putty. 
That he can mould him at his will, 
To make his son an office fill. 
But lest Columbia prove too new. 
He lays a wire the ocean through, 
That ne all Europe may invite, 
To bask in his resplendent sight. 
Oil ! most happy England Queen, 
When she can say : " I've Peter seen '." 
Now see him cringe, and jump for fame, 
To reach the scroll, to write his name : 
But as he lives alone for fame. 
My verso will sure preserve his name. 

Peter Piper Pict. . 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



New Yobk, June 15, 1858. 
Stephen H. Bhanoh : 

Sir:— Permit, me the privilege of making a 
few brief passing remarks, asking a few ques- 
tions, and respectfully suggesting a few bints 
a>tn your weekly publication, the All.iga.tok. 
Please to attribute any intrusive errors in this 
communication as emanating from an ineffi- 
cient method of expressing my sentiments, as 
my heart is with you whole and entire in 
spirit, and, with a few exceptions, to the very 
letter, in your laudable endeavor to bring to 
light before the open day the hidden villainies 
of the many detestable tyrants that have risen 
from the very scum of poverty and criminal 
degradation, and who now so unaccountably 
hold despotic sway under the garb of honor- 
able industry in every branch of society, to 
the unjust injury and oppression of the poor, 
humble, but honest mat). 

I am rejoiced to find the Ai.uga.tor creep- 
ing its way to the literary tables of almost 
every respectable News Depot in this and the 
adjacent cities, piercing its deadly fangs into 
the very vitals of every influential thief and 
scoundrel, and that the business public are 
now availing themselves of the opportunity in 
patronising it as an advertising medium, and 
I sincerely wish you every success. 

Wherever I have an opportunity, I en- 
deavor, indirectly, to pave the way, to intro- 
duce the merits of the Alligator, and, as a 
matter of course, have to give and take in the 
various opinions expressed as to thecarniver- 
ous propensities of that astonishing animal, 
and tlie choice objects it pitches into for its 
daily food. The opinions and ideas expressed 
on the subject are as varied as the colors in 
the rainbow. Any man whose past mis- 
deeds trouble his conscience, dreads the 
animal, as he would a drawn sword, lest its 
brutal tusks should tear open to public gaze 
what he had secretly hoped was unknown 
to mortal being. 

If the crawling reptiles you select to satisfy 
the craving appetite of that amphibious animal 
(with such extended jaws continually gaping) 
are really of such an abhorrent and loathsome 
nature as represented by you in such bold re- 
lief, I should never cease lashing their dis- 
eased and ulcerated carcases with whips of 
poisoned scorpions, till I purged and purified 
their polluted system with wholesome anti- 
dotes. It strikes me that your gormandising 
hydra-headed monster can never be satisfied 
with common carrion : it seeks for something 
more nutritious for its sustenance. It appeal a 
he is like I'haroah's lean kine — the more he 
devours, the thinner begets, and bis rapacity 
Increases, and what seems so singular is, that 
he has abundance of choice prey for ever at 
his side, which he selects indiscriminately, 
and an untold amount laid up in his store 
houses for ages to come. 

Nothing do I admire more than the free use 
of strong and emphatic language to express 
our approbation or disapprobation of men's 
nctio'is public or private, and from the gene- 
ral tenor of your style, and the peculiar ad- 
vantages you possess as a scholar, and the un- 
limited information you have treasured up as 
a man of experience, with regard to public 
characters and measures, I feel confident that 
you can convert every tooth of the Alligator 
into a poisoned arrow that will deal death and 
destruction into every panicle ut air where- 
cver it wings its flight, and you can more ef- 
fectively bit your mark with surer certainty 
by avoiding the use of such terms and phrases 
as would be looked upon by the general class 
of readers, as rather coarse or vulgar; al- 
though I myself consider your style as 
purely hieroglyphic, and that your sar- 
castic way merely emanates from a proud, 
manly, straightforward, bold and independent 
above board kind of a spirit than that of 



malice, with the view to convey the senti- 
ments of your mind, in order to express your 
strong feeling of detestation and abhorrence 
of every unprincipled scoundrel, against whom 
your fiery shafts of indignation may happen 
to be turned, cutting to the very heart's core 
like a two edged sword. 

The body of the Alligator is too small by 
a long shot. It would greatly enhance its 
usefulness by being more liberal. Increase its 
pages, extend its columns, devote a space to 
correspondents, and, if need be, stretch its 
stomach so as to afford an opportunity to 
others to open their store-houses, and contri- 
bute their quota of similar wholesome food to 
the hungry cannibal, in order the better to 
assist in the process of digestion. 

Yours Kespectfuly, 

Akti-tyraxt. 



JOHN B. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, 718 WATER STREET. 
My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me a call, 
and if I don't please you, I will disdain to charge you for 
what does not entirely satisfy you. JOHN B. WEBU. 



SAMUEL SNEDE\, SHIP £ STEAMBOAT bUILUER — 
My Office is at No. 81 Corlears street, New York ; and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpnint. I have built 
Ship's and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a 
Ion" term of years, and continue to do so on reasonable 
terms. SAMUEL SNEDEN. 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit — From two to four seconds, or as long as the Ad- 
vertiser can hold his breath ! Letters and Advertisements to 
be left at No. 12S Nassau street, third floor, back loom. 

HEIl INO'S PATENT t:IIA\lPION FIRE AND BUR- 
glar 1'rnol Sate, with lldl's Patent Powder Proof 
I ocks, ^ff.'rd the gre ties; security of any Safe in the world. 
Als '. Sideboard ai.d Pat lor talcs, of e egant workmat.slup 
a d finish, for plate, it. S. C. IIEKUI.NO 4 Co.. 

251 Broadway. 



JAMES MEI.ENFY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAUUEL 
Hopper.) Grocer, and Wholesale and Rrlail Dealer in 
Pure Country Milk. Teas. Coffee, Sugars 4 Spices. Flour, 
ltiuler. Laid. Cheese, r srgs &c No. 158, Eighth Avenue. 
Near 18th Street, New York. F.imtlies .upplitd. by leaving 
their aodr.ss at 'he Store. 



BOOT * SHOE E ..PttlilllMs EDWIN A. HUM KS, 
Importer and Manufacturer of Poo's. Sh es & Gaiters, 
Wholesale and Retail, No. 575 Broadway, ana 15U Fulton 
Street. New York. 



DR. SMITH'S ELECTRIC "II. CURES PAIN IN A 
few moments. Dr. Smith's Eictne Oil gives almost 
instant re M' in all nervous diseases. Acute iheu < atic 

piius need only a few applications. Dr. Smith may he con- 
sulted at the Smithsonian House, and at 91 Hudson Street. 
Try it. 



MCSPEDON ANDIHKElfs SI AlloNEUY WaRE- 
honse and Envelope Mat uf&ctory, Nos. 29, 31, and 
33 Beektniu street. New Y-rk. 

EsvtLOPts of .ill patterns, s'y'cs mid quality, on hand, 
and made to order for the trade and olhers, by Steam Ma- 
chinery. Pa'ented Apr. I 8.|i. 1850. 



t-uZZENS' HOTEL < <>A" I) ES,— STABLE, Ni s 34 and 
36 Canal street New York 
I will t-trive l.ard t" please II ihose generous citizens 
who will kindly fjvor me with ilieir patronage. 

EDWARD VAN RANST. 



J\V MASON, M ItMlt-'ACI UllEK. WHOLESALE aid 
Retail dealers in all kirns ol i hairs. Wash Stands, 
Settees Ac. 37" 4 379 Pearl Street New York. 

Cane and Wood Seat ' h lira, in Boxes, lor sh pping. 



IjEiVJAMIN JONES, CUM vl! iSKIN MEM. EH, IN Ileal 
I) Estate. Houses »nil t-tnres and lots lor sate in all 

pans of the citi. Ofli e at ihe junction ol Bioadway. 

Seventh Avenue, and rnrl\-Si\lh Mre. t. 



I^ULl.^EU AND WOOD ' AfTIUAGE M uiU'acturcis 
"• 239 West l!hh Str m. New York. 
Horseshoeing done with deiimltta and in the mod sci 
ent fie manner, and tin re i^. n bh terms. 



WE. KNAPP'S NEWS I El'oT. 279BI.EEKEH ST., 
. near Barrow s reel. subscriptions tor Diilics 
Weeklies, and Monthlies. « huh will be fcerved as soon as 
issued. 



CMIKAP PERIOD'l'.Al. AMI PA M PULE T BINDERY. 
/ Nu. 50 Mm street. N Y. F. S. Pillinnn. successor to 
io II. H. Randall Mr. Gouverneur t'arr atu N S. 1 ulnam 
have po chas-tl an io'.'est in h c.nn-e.u. 



\ UG. BItEN'TANO, SMITIISON'I >N NEWS DEPOT, 
■T. Books and Stationery, O.iS BROADWAY, corner of 
Houston street. 

Subscriptions Tor American or Foreign Papers or Books, 
from the City or Country, "ill be promptly intended to. 

Foreign Papers receive I by every steamer. Store open 
from 6 A. M. to 1 I P. M throughout the week. 



1) C.GODFREY, ST il IONEII, BOOKSELLER, AND 
General News dealer, tSil Broadway, New York, 
near 1.1th street. 

At Godfrey's — Novels, Book's. Ac., all the new ones cheap 
At Godfrey's — Magazine-, Fancy Articles, Ac, cheap. 
At Go'l'ie'v's— Stationery of all kinds .heap. 
At Godfrey's— Ail the Daily and Weekly Papers. 
At Godfrey's — Visiting Car.ls Printed at 75 cents per pack. 
At Godfrey's— Ladles fashion Books of latest dale. 



I < TYSON, CORNER OF NINTH STREET * SIXTH AVE. 
V^ . Has fur sale a'l the late Pub ications of the day, In- 
oloiiing all Ihe Daily and Weekly Newspapers. 



AL«NSON" T. BRIGGS— DEALER IN KLOUR BARRELS, 
MolasseB Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks. 
Also, new flour barrels and half barrels ; a large supply 
constantly on band. My Stores are at Nos. 62, 611. 61, 69, 
78, 75, 77'and 79 Rutger's Slip ; at 235. 237, and 239 C.erry 
street ; also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and 
Rutger's Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in 
Wihiamsburgh are at Furman & Co 's Dock. My yards in 
New York are at the corner of Water and Gouverneur 
streets ; and in Washington street, near Canal ; and at Le- 
oy Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger's Slip. 

ALANSON T. BRIGGS. 



FULTON IRON WORKS.— JAMES MURPHY & CO., 
manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, 
&c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East 
River. 



BRADD1CK * HOGAN, SAIL.MAK.EIIS, No. 272 South 
Street, New Yoik. 
Awnings, T euts, and Bags made to order. 

JESSE A BRADDICK, 
RICHARD HIillAv, 



\.\ 11.1.1AM M. SOMEKVII.I.E, WHOLESALE AND 

VV R. tail Druggist and Apothecary. 205 Bieeckirst, 
corner Mitutis. opposite Cottage Place. New York. Alllhe 
po|itlar Patent Medicines lie^l Swedish Lieclos. Cuj- 
ping, 4c. Phjsiciats' Prescriptions Hccur. teh prepaied. 
WM. M. MIME!. VII. I. E 



AW. & T. HUME, MERl.'IIANI' TAILORS. No. 
• 82 Sixth Avenue. New York. We keep » lu-ge and 
elegant assortment of every article that a geiillnn in re- 
qni es VVV make Coats. Ve-ts and Pants, alii r the latest 
Parisian fashions, and on reasonable t. rtns. 

A. W 4 T HUME. 



EE '-JOIISON'S RED FLAIL" OF THIS DvY. FOR 
5 interesting news. Published at No 102 Nassau Street. 



'I'UE V 
1 No. 



I1ARTLETT A- IHTES, 
1 llroailwav, New Y'rk. Coo. e and see us good 
friends am! eat an I d ink and be inero. in the same capa- 
cious and patiiolic halls v, lute ihe immortal Washington's 
voice and laugh once reverberated. 
O come to ■ ur Il-'iel. 
And you'ti be treated well. 

HAKTLETT & GATES. 



N. GSMN. FASHIONABLE IUTIEK. 214 Bioad- 
way New Yoik. 



(> 



ENIN'S LADIES' & CHILDREN'S OHlI-lTlING 
Hazaar 513 Broadway (St Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.> 



UWAlll) PUALON A S«<N, 497 aKi ai? Hroadwny. 
New York — Dtpnls for llie sale ol Pcifuiiie.r>, and 
every article connected with 'lie TnlteT, 

We ii wintrodi.ee the ■* KnU^UET D'OOARITA. or 
Wild Flmve. ol Mexico,*" which is superior 10 any tiling of 
ihe kind ill ilie Civilized world 

EDWARD rilM.ON * SON. 



XCKI^IOR PRINTING HOUSE, '211 CF.NTKK >'l\, 13 
furnij-hed with every facility, luti st improved pi esses, 
and the newest s>y:es of type— for the excution ol Boob, 
Juh and 0<nament";il Punt nj:. Call and see specimens. 

CiIlARLES FRANCIS, fcUSDLBK, ESTABLISHED IN 
v lShS, Si^ri of the Golden Hor»e,89 Bowery, New York, 
o|tpos te ihe Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his articles as low as 
any oilier Saddler in America, and warrant them to be equal 
to anv in "he World. 



HN WI. D, STFAM CAINUY M * NUF AU'I UKLR, No. 
. 451 Broadway! bet. Grand and Howard streets, New 
York My Iceland Moaa mid Flaxseed Candy will cure 
Coughs and Sneezes in a very (ffobrt lime. 



J AMI'S Gl IFHTH-*. I Late (Ml \'I FIELD A GRIFFITHS,) 
No. 278 Grand st., New York. A hirpe stock of well-se- 
h cted Cloths, Cassimetes, Vesting, Ac , on band. Gent's, 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in the most 
approved style. All cheap for Cash. 



Jac;aTE a hi,me\'s furnishing go»ds 
» mid > Inr i Manufacture? a 256 lima w v. New York 
Shirts made t • or*Jer mid yu •rantPed i« fit 

.i agate. *• . w .talking ton. 



Bl LlARD TABLES.— I J IIM.A.V» IttFRnVED BIL- 
iKt'dTrtbl- e- n<i fomhioi lin Cushion^— Protected by 
titers p item, da. d Feb 19 IB56 : Oci v8. I-M3; lit c. 8, 
1857; Jin i2, 1858 l !»•■ recent hi proven rtsiirt in hese 
Tardea link'- then uusarpatwed Hi the world. 'I hey are 
now offered to lh*> scieiit'fi- Bill ard players as combining 
speed wiih I' ni h never hrfi.-e obtained in am Ril'iard T.ble. 
-aies-room-; Nos 7bfi and 788 Bronlway, Niw Vink Manu- 
I'aet ly No. 53 Attn Sin et. 

i i'CONNoK A t oLi.ENpor. Sob- Manufacturer*. 



L oLMSIEaD, IMPORTER, MAM'FA' TDItER 
and Johi.er of Men's Fur l*hitig Good-, No *J4 Bar- 



S 

clay Street 



IMfVlKI Eli 

en's Fur i-liii 
uri er olciiiirrh Ki w V.. 



I < D. [I A IL'II. DILI ER A MER-EHE.AII, luipii'iers 

t d Ji'bbers I'f.Meir*. Fiirnixhirig <;<roils and Mann- 

fit-iurers ufliie Guide ■ Hill Shir's 99 i hambers slrrel, N. 
E. corner i i.urch Sire. I. New Verh. 

LA ROSBNMIM.ER DRUOGlsl'.NO. 17S EIGHTH 
. Avenue. New York. Cupping & Leeclnnj;. Medi- 
cines at all hours. 




Volume I— No. 11.] 



SATURDAY, JULY 3, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S37, by 

STEPHEN II. BRANCII, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H- Branch. 
McDonald Clarke had the dyspepsia badly, 
and would board at the Graham House while 
his money lasted, and then Goss would re- 
quest him to leave. At the table he always 
created infinite mirth. I often met him on the 
Battery, (with his pockets filled with stale 
Graham bread,) and at Mercer's Dining Saloon, 
at the corner of Ann and Nassau, and on the 
steps of the Astor, and while rapidly prome- 
nading Broadway, with his eyes riveted on the 
ground. I also saw him every Sabbath in 
front of Dr. Taylor's Grace Church, at the 
corner of Rector street and Broadway, where 
lie used to await the arrival of Miss Jonea, 
and almost stare her into fits, and to whom he 
addressed such lines as these through the pub- 
lic journals : 

Her form's elastic aa a willow tree, 

Glorious in motion, when the winds are free : 

She moves with timid dignity and grace, 

"While thought is thrilling through her sweet young face. 

In his last days, he often came to the Graham 
House, and Goss was very kind to him, and 
did not charge him for his meals. He called 
on Sunday morning, when all were at church 
save myself. I was ill, in the rocking chair, 
and for an hour ho amused me with his inco- 
herent flights of eloquence, and the recitation 
of his choicest poetry. He came several times 
during the week. On a stormy evening, while 
I was seated by the stove, he rushed in and 
took a seat beside me, and wept aloud, and 
spoko of his intense affection for Miss Jones, 
(the daughter of the wealthy Banker, and Pres- 
ident of the Chemical Bank,) whom he sup- 
posed was ardently in love with him. He 
said that he had been twice invited to her 
parties, but that on ringing the bell, he was 
twice ejected by the servant. The cards of 
invitation were forgeries, but those who im- 
posed on McDonald, assured him that they 
were genuine, and were written by Miss Jones. 
I strove in vain to disabuse McDonald's mind, 
who said he should make the third attempt 
the following week, and, if possible, he would 
have an interview with the precious object of 
his affection. On the afternoon of the follow- 
ing Sunday, he came to the Graham House, 
and violently rang the bell, and dashed into 
the parlor, greatly excited, and took a seat on 
the sofa, where I was reclining, and exclaim- 
ed : " Why, Branch, people call me crazy. 
But you don't think I'm crazy, do you, Branch? 
I know you don't. You love me, don't you, 



Branch ? I know you do. Heigh ho! I'm not 
long for this world. I'm going to Heaven in 
a few days, where I shall fare better than 
among the unkind people of this world. Yes, 
I rambled through Greenwood, last week, by 
the Silver Lake, and selected the lovely and 
romantic spot where my poor bones will soon 
repose and wither, (llis tears now began to 
fall like summer rain.) And there will be the 
sacred bells, and the Grace Church exercises, 
conducted by the pure and eloquent Dr. Tay- 
lor, and the mournful music, and solemn pro- 
cession, and the Sexton's dreary hearse and 
spade, and the pale white monument. And 
those who now deny me bread, and call me 
crazy, and trifle with my affections, will then 
sadly miss me, and my beautiful poetry, and 
lament my melancholy fate. And they will 
come and stand before my monument iu 
Greenwood's Silver Dell, and weep, and pro- 
foundly regret that they always neglected poor 
McDonald Clarke. Yes, Branch, I see my 
snowy monument by the Silver Lake, and I 
shall soon be there. O God! Yes, I shall too 
soon be in that dismal vale. But you will 
come and see me, won't you, Branch? I know 
you will. I know you will, God! God ! 
My destiny is very hard." And he buried his 
face with "both hands, and cried with all the 
simplicity of childhood, and I strove to re- 
strain my tears, lest he would not cease his 
lamentation, if he saw my eyes moistened with 
nature's sympathising waters. And I breathed 
kind words into his lacerated heart, and he 
leaned his head upon my shoulder, and was 
silent, for some minutes, when he sprang to 
his feet, aDd said he would like a bath, and 
went to the bathing room. In half an hour, 
he returned, went to the tea table, ate spar- 
ingly, came into the parlor, went to the win- 
dow, and knelt and prayed in whisper tones. 
The clouds had suddenly dispersed, and the 
moon was full, whose soft rays rested on the 
sad face of McDonald. He then got the Bible, 
and read a chapter, and was absorbed in a 
second prayer, just above a whisper, when a 
transient boarder (from Boston) entered the 
parlor, and sat on the sofa, and began a spirited 
conversation with a friend who had long been 
waiting for him. McDonald, while engaged 
in prayer, in a kneeling posture, sprang to his 
feet, and rushed towards the two gentlemen 
in lively conversation on the sofa, and told 
them that if they did not cease to laugh, and 
talk so loudly, he would smite them on the 
spot. They were amazed and terrified, and 
dared not speak. McDonald then rapidly 
paced the parlor, and exclaimed : " I am only 
40 years old, with nearly half the period 



often allotted to man yet to run, and [am 
near my journey's close." And then, with a 
sudden" halt in the centre of the parlor, he 
again riveted his wild eyes on the gentlemen 
seated on the sofa, who had excited his i rCi an 1 
stamped, and most violently exclaimed : " How 
dare you talk and laugh in God's Lo';: hour? 
This 'is the all-glorious" Sabbath, and it is sac- 
rilege to talk and laugh beyond a whisper. 
Do it again, and as sure as my name is Mc 
Donald Clarke, I will paralyse you where you 
sit. Silence, I say, (stamping,) silence! 1 ' 
The two gentlemen then arose, and left the 
parlor, in pursuit of Mr. Goss, and Mc 
Donald went to the window, and delivered a 
glowing apostrophe to the moon and stars, 
and asked me to play sacred music on the 
piano, which I did, and he strove to sing, but 
his voice was severely weakened, and nearly 
lost, by his nervous excitement, and through 
his severe anathema of the two gentlemen 
who had just left the parlor. As I played, he 
stood beside me, and hummed and beat time 
with his hands. I closed the piauo, and he 
went to the window, and prayed again, and 
breathed the most eloquent and touching solil- 
oquy I ever heard. Such melting pathos and 
purity of language never flowed from human 
lips, ne rose to the highest inspiration in 
bis allusion to his departed mother, and his 
anticipated joy' at his early reunion with her 
in Heaven. I have always regretted that I 
had no pencil and paper on this sad occasion, 
so that I could have preserved his supernat- 
ural soliloquies, which impressed me with 
the profoundest solemnity. Mr. Goss now 
came into the parlor, and asked McDonald 
where he boarded, and he said he had no 
home. Goss then asked him if he had any 
friends. He said that James Gordon Bennett 
was his friend, and had been kind and gener- 
ous towards him, and had given him money 
and apparel, and published his poetry in the 
Herald. He also said that he ate, and some- 
tim -, -kpt, at a Dentist's in Park Place, and 
that he would now go there. I asked him if 
I should accompany him, and he warmly 
thanked me, and ho put on his cloak and cap, 
and very carefully adjusted his large red com- 
forter around his neck, and took my arm, 
and I accompanied him to the residence of his 
dentist friend in Park Place. I rang the bell, 
and the servant came, and said the dentist 
was out, and McDonald then shook my hand, 
and bade me an affectionate good night, and 
walked in and closed the door, which was my 
last communion with poor McDonald 
Clarke. I called the next day, and the ser- 
vant told me that McDonald left in half an 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S AI^LIGATOR. 



hour after my departure on tlie previous night, 
and had not returned. I went in pursuit of 
him, but could not find him. The next I 
heard of him was through the newspapers, 
which stated that lie was found at midnight, 
1 \ a Policeman, in Broadway, near St. Paul's 
Church, in a terrible storm, and in a state of 
raving insanity, with his apparel partially 
gone, — that he was conveyed to the Tombs, — 
that neither the Policemen nor any of the 
officers at the Tombs knew McDonald, nor 
was he sane enough to disclose his name, — 
that on going to feed him in the morning, his 
place of confinement was partially' filled with 
icy water, (in which he was bathing himself,) 
which had been running all night, and which 
gave him a chill of death, — that lie was 
finally recognised by one of the Tombs' offi- 
cer^, and conveyed to the Alms House Hospi- 
tal, where he soon died. I called to see him 
before he died, but he did not know me. His 
v. :i-on entirely returned just prior to his 
death, when he called for a custard, (of which 
he was always extremely fond,) and he ate a 
little, and said he was glad his hourhadcome, 
as he was tired of earth. He bade his nurse 
an affectionate farewell, and died without a 
contortion or a moan. His sudden and pauper 
death produced great excitement, and the 
newspapers severely lashed his murderers, 
who strove to make him think that Miss Jones 
loved him dearly, and had invited him to her 
aristocratic parties. But the names of the 
villains were not published, (as they should 
have been,) because they belonged to the 
upper circles. Some kind friends erected a 
monument to his memory, on the very spot 
McDonald had selected, by the Silver Lake 
in Greenwood, for which they received much 
praise. And thus closes my sad allusion to 
poor McDonald Clarke. 

(To be continued to my last sun.) 

A Melodious Fragment ! 
TO ALL WHO LOVE ENTRANCING MUSIC. 
Header: — Did you ever behold the tumul- 
tuous excitement of the populace at a Race 
Course, as the furious steeds neared the judge's 
stand on the last heat? Then go and see 
Gazzaniga's reflection of the passions at the 
Academy of Music, and behold the glow and 
palor, and joy and terror, and stamps and 
screams of the excited and enraptured multi- 
t: lies. Did you ever see the moon emerge 
from a tranquil ocean, or the sun descend a 
wild horison ? Then see Gazzaniga. Did 
yon ever see a peerless virgin at the altar, or 
on her journey to the sepulchre? Then see 
Gazzauiga. Do you remember the merry 
laugh of childhood, or your fond mother's 
gentle tones ? Then see Gazzaniga. Do you 
lament Ophelia's sadness and mournful des- 
tiny, and the fatal grief of Portia at the ab- 
sence of Brutus? Then see Gazzaniga. Do 
you love the murmurs of the rivulet, or of 
summer zephyrs on the moonlight waters ? 
Then see Gazzaniga. Do you love the melody 
of the birds, and the hues of the pastures, and 
the romance of the forest, and the perfume of 
the foliage, and the silence of the wilderness, 
and the beauty of the vales, and the majesty 
of the mountains? Then see Gazzaniga. Do 
you love the security of a calm, or the sub- 
limity of a storm? Then see Gazzaniga. 
Have you seen Niagara or Vesuvius, and ad- 
mired and trembled in their glorious and aw- 
ful presence? Then see Gazzauiga. Have 
you read and dreamed of Antony and Cleo- 
patra? Then see Brignoli and Gazzaniga. 
Have you read Ctesar's hatred of Cassius 
and Horace Greeley, and his love of Matsell 
and fat men ? Then see Ullman and Armodio. 
Do you love to roam in dells and caves aud 
deserts ? Do you love the pensive meditations 
of genius in cavern solitudes? Do you love 
to gaze at Heaven's Panorama, in the silence 



and glory of midnight ? Do you love your 
parent's admonitions, and the sweet tones of 
your brothers and sisters, and wives and chil- 
dren? Do you remember your early love, 
and pleasant rambles with your devoted and 
beauteous Juliet ? Do you love to witness the 
reflection of your own heart ? Do you love 
to shed tears of joy at the triumph of the vir- 
tuous, and to paralyse the vicious with your 
terrible execrations? Have you breathed 
Italian skies, and wandered by Italian streams, 
and fondly lingered on Italian sunsets? O 
then go and see and hear Gazzaniga, whose 
mighty soul reflects the smiles and tears — 
lovers and misanthropes — beauties and melo- 
dies — calms and storms — rainbows and land- 
scapes — plains and mountains — cataracts and 
volcanoes — thunder and lightning — rain and 
hail — tornadoes and earthquakes — witches and 
angels — devils and demons — ghosts and hob- 
goblins, and suns and globes and caravans of 
Universal Nature. O Gazzaniga ! Thy tran- 
quil music is the echo of a Choir of Angels, 
and thy frenzied strain is the yell of a gang 
of devils. More than a thousand millions of 
human pilgrims rove in the romantic paths 
of earth, but in all this mighty throng, on its 
inarch to a common sepulchre, there is but 
one Gazzaniga in the delightful realms of 
melody. 



SUpIun f. §niuli's ^Iliptflr. 



NEW YOEK, SATURDAY, JULY 3, 1858. 



STEPHEN II. BRANCH'S "ALLIGATOR" CAN BE 
obtained at all hours, (day or night,) at wholesale and 
retail, at No. 128 Nassau Street, Near Beekman Street, 
and opposite Ross & Tousey's News Depot, New York. 

Human Devils. 

Some §10,000 have been expended in build- 
ing fences, and improving the forest grounds 
at the corner of Fourteenth and Fifteenth 
streets and the Sixth Avenue ? AVe have re- 
ceived a card, heralding a "Palace Garden," 
signed by De Forest and Tisdale, Proprietors. 
Mr. De Forest was the Treasurer of the Crys- 
tal Palace Ball, and Mr. Tisdale is the Treas- 
urer of the Hunter Woodis Benevolent So- 
ciety. A few loaves of John Hecker's bread, 
distributed among the poor, was the only 
charitable result of the Academy of Music 
Ball, and none of John Hecker's bread, nor 
of any baker, nor any necessaries of life were 
distributed among the indigent, as the result 
of the mighty and lucrative Crystal Palace 
Ball. Both of those Balls were given by the 
public — for the benefit of the Poor — in the 
name of the self-constituted members ot the 
Hunter Woodis Society, and Do Forest and 
Tisdale, who control the vast receipts of that 
Society, now open an Ice Cream and Lager 
Bier Saloon on a scale of unprecedented mag- 
nitude and magnificence, while the poor crea- 
tures are starving, who own all the surplus 
funds in the vile grasp of the Hunter Woodis 
Society, and of the outside scamps, who par- 
tially control those pauper funds. De Forest 
and Tisdale (who thrice cunningly assured 
me that all the members of the Hunter Woodis 
Society were Know Nothings) beckoned me 
last weok to their gorgeous chariot on Broad- 
way, and told me that they were " snags," 
and through dagger eyes, and ferocious ges- 
tures, and stunning declamation, threatened 
my utter annihilation, for my recent exposure 
of their plunder of our generous citizens, and 
the private paupers, whose funds they with- 
hold and squander. If one of the huge vil- 
lains of these devilish days in which my lot 
is cast approaches me with menacing look or 
attitude, he will be a dead thief before ho can 
implsre the God of truth and justice and 
mercy to forgive him for his awful crimes. 



Where the |40,000 that were doubtless re- 
ceived by the Managers and Treasurers of the 
Academy of Music and Crystal Talace Balls; 
and where their vast private collections have 
all mysteriously vanished, will never be dis- 
closed to the poor of this, nor of coming 
generations, but, at the Throne of God, these 
consummate villains and infernal scamps will 
have to confront the famishing creatures they 
have robbed and starved, when they will be 
convicted, and condemned, and hurled from 
Heaven's resplendent heights into a gulph of 
yelling devils, who will pinch them, and prick 
them, and bite them, and lance them, and 
roast them through wasteless ages. 
O, what I hear, and what I see, 
Makes me from earth yearn to be free. 

James Gordon Bennett's Editorial 
Career. 

Bennett and John Kelly. 

Bennett — John, the wall cracked again yes- 
terday, and I fear this old ruin will soon fall, 
and bury us in death. So, after you have 
folded those papers, you can take them and 
the broom, and I will take my memorandum 
book and easy slippers, and we will go to the 
new quarters that I hired yesterday in Broad- 
way. The rent is very cheap, and I am not 
to pay it until the end of the month, which is 
a godsend in these clays of poverty. 

John — I have only got fifty papers to fold, 
and I will soon be ready. 

Bennett — Hurry, Johnny, for the building 
may fall before we get out. (John folds papers 
mighty fast.) 

John— I am ready, sir. 

Bennett — Come on then. (They depart for 
Broadway, with all their luggage, consisting 
of fifty Heralds, a broom, memorandum book, 
and Bennett's easy slippers.) 

Enter Landlord. 

Landlord — Mr. Bennett, I told you that you 
could pay your rent at the end of the month, 
but I have concluded to require it in advance. 

Bennett — I have not the money to spare, 
but I will let you have my watch as security. 

Landlord — I have no pawnbroker's license, 
and I fear it would be a violation of the law 
to take a watch in pawn. 

Bennett — I have let Anderson & Ward have 
it as security for the payment of my papers 
some fifty times, and they have not been ar- 
rested. 

Landlord — Is it gold or silver? 

Bennett — Silver. 

Landlord — What is its value ? 

Bennett — Twenty dollars. 

Landlord — Does it keep good time ? 

Bennett — It goes well, don't it, Johnny 
(giving him a wink.) 

John — Yes, sir. (May God forgive me for 
this lie.) 

Landlord — I will take it, but you must try 
to pay the rent before the close, of the month. 

Bennett — I will, sir. Our circulation is 
rapidly increasing, ain't it, Johnny? 

John (pale as death) — Y-c-s, s-i-r. (O, 
Heavenly Father, do forgive me for another 
lie.) 

Landlord— Good day, Mr. Bennett, and 
may success attend your enterprise. 

Bennett — Good by, sir, bnt don't call again 
until the very last week in the month. 

Landlord — I will be as lenient as I can. 
Good day. (He goes.) 

Bennett — John, why did you say y-e-s, 
s-i-r ? This is no time to drawl your words. 
And I saw your lips quiver, and your eyes 
and arms directed to Heaven, as though you 
were engaged in silent prayer. This won't 
do, sir. My case is desperate. Can't you lie, 
in matters of business, without invoking the 
celestial pardon? If you can't, yon will soon 
ruin me. What say you, John ? 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



John— My parents will not let me tell lies. 
They would kill me, it' they caught me in the 
two lies I have told for you to-day. They 
are extremely indigent, hut they are as honest 
as poor Burns, the great poet of your native 
hind, who said: 

*' The honest roan, tho' e'er eae poor, 
Is king o' men for a' lliat." 

And who also said : 

" O, wad some Pow'r the giftie gie ua 
To see oursels as ithers see us I" 

Bennett (stamping the floor) — Darm it, boy, 
this is no time for poetry. Hang Burns, who 
was an old fold, and lived on air, like all the 
poets. I prefer Richard, who said : 

" I have set m)- life upon a cast, 
And I will stand the hazard of the die." 

Or Iago : 

" This is the night, 
That either makes me, or fordoes me quite." 

Or Ophelia, with -whose beautiful aphorism 
I closed my leading editorial, in the first num- 
ber of the Herald; 

" Lord, we know that we arc, 
But know not what we may be." 

But darm the rhyme. We want bread and 
butter. I have been starving on truth and 
poetry, and I intend to lie, and cheat, and 
black mail, during the residue of my days. 
Do you understand me ? 

John — Yes, sir, but I can't lie. I had rather 
bo poor, and tell the truth, than lie, and cheat, 
and wrong my fellow creatures, and be loathed 
by my parents, and be despised by myself, 
and by others, and have sleepless nights, and 
be in constant fear of death, and be in danger 
of a prison or the scaffold. So, you had 
better get another boy. 

Bennett — I am sorry to part with you, dear 
Johnny, because you have been so true and 
kind to me. 

John — I would like to remain, but I must 
leave, if you require me to lie. And yet 1 
dread to inform my poor father and mother 
that I have left you, and have no means to 
aid them. But I had rather go hungry than 
tell lies, and I hope and believe that my 
parents will forgive me for leaving you. 

Bennett — I fear you are too conscientious 
to be my associate in the reckless and unscru- 
pulous career of journalism before me, and 
therefore I shall advertise for another boy to- 
morrow. 

John — -Very well, sir. (John takes his hat 
to go.) 

Bennett — Don't go until I get another boy. 

John — I must go now, because you have 

proclaimed yourself a dishonest man, and I 

should be unhappy if I remained longer in 

your presence. 

Bennett — How much do I owe you ? 
John — Nothing. 
Bennett — Yes I do. 

John — You can have it, because I fear 
you did not get it honestly, and I do not want 
it. (John goes.) 

Bennett (soliloquises) — This boy's rebuko is 
terrible. And now I am alone. O God ! if I 
only had his integrity, I would make any 
sacrifice. That boy has got the principles of 
AVashington in his breast, and the world will 
hear of him. No earthly power can crush 
the love of truth in the heart of that dear 
little boy. And now what shall I do ? His 
merited castigation has unnerved and un- 
manned me. I know not which way to turn. 
I have but little money. I cannot get another 
boy so faithful as Johnny. I must strive to 
sell ray papers in the stores alone, now that 
Johnny is gone, and, if I fail, I am forever 
ruined. But this won't do. I must not 
despair. I must rally. (He arises, and paces 
his office rapidly, with compressed jaws and 
lips, and distended nostrils, and clenched 



fingers, and ferocious gesticulation.) I must 
not whine now. I must cut and smash, and 
detract and terrify the innocent, and levy 
thousands on the affluent, or I am forever 
lost. I have no associate, nor friend, nor 
kindred in all this land, and I can only degrade 
myself, as my aged parents are in the deep 
mountain glades of Scotland, and can never 
hear of my degradation. So I will be a devil. 
I will advertise for another boy, and if I get 
one who will conspire with me in my con- 
templated villainy, my fortunes will yet be 
vast. (Ue writes an advertisement, and puts 
it in the New York Sun.) 

(To be continued.) 



Peter Cooper's Funny little Grocery- 
Groggery, at the Corner of the Bowery 
and Stuyversant Street, in 1820. 



r-ETEP. BEHIND THE COl'NTEE. 

Enter Female Castomer. 

Customci — I want two candles, and a quart 
of soft soap, and a pint of gin. 

Peter — There's the candles, and there's the 
soap, and now I will get the gin. (Measures 
it.) And there's the gin. 

Customer — Put it all down on the book. 

Peter — I will only put it on the slate, as I 
want you to pay me by Saturday evening. 

Customer — O, certainly. (She goes.) 

En ter Jim, a Darkey. 

Jim — Mr. Cooper, I want a plug of tobacco, 
and a glass of rum, and I will pay you on 
Saturday night, when I get my week's wages. 
Peter — I can't trust any more to-day, as I 
have just let a woman have some candles, 
soap, and gin on credit, and I shall ruin myself 
if I trust so much as I have recently. My 
capital is very small, and my credit is so bad 
that I have to pay cash for nearly all I buy, 
and if I trust much, I shall have to fail again, 
and shut up my little shop for ever. So, Jim, 
I can't trust you any more. 

Jim — Then I will trade elsewhere. I have 
been drinking your rum for a long time, and 
I have always paid you for it, andT have got 
drunk many a time on your rum, and now you 
won't let me have a glass on credit. You must 
have an iron heart. 

Peter — Jim, you have drunk a large quan- 
tity of rum at ray bar, and you have always 
paid me for it, as you declare, but I am going 
to turn over a new leaf, and trust no more. 
But if you will promise never to ask me to 
trust you again, 1 will let you have as nice a 
glass of rum as you ever drank. 
Jim — Agreed. 

Peter— (pours out some cheap and nasty 
rum, and squats down behind the counter so 
that Jim can't see him, and adulterates it 
about two-thirds with old Manhattan water, 
that had been in the pitcher all day) — There's 
your rum, Jim, and now drink it, and enjoy 
yourself. 

Jim — (drinks, and can hardly taste the 
nasty rum, and makes wry faces,) — How much 
bilge water did you put in this mean rum, and 
how much do you intend to put down on the 
slate against me for this disgusting dose of 
rum and water? 

Peter — That is nice rum, Jim, and I shall 
charge you ray usual price of three cents a 
glass. 

Jim — Take that, and that, and that, you 
stingy old villain. (Throws most of the rum 
and water into his face, and strikes him twice, 
and knocks' him down, and runs down the 
Bower}'.) 

Peter (solus and nose bleeding profusely) — 
I fear the black rascal has broken my nose 
and ribs, and blackened my eyes badly. I 
will close the shop, and go and see a physician, 



and I suppose I shall have to run up quite a 
Doctor's bill before my wounds are entirely 
healed. (Shuts the shop and goes to au Apoth- 
ecary.) 

Peter — Doctor, nigger Jim has just struck 
me several times with all his might, and I fear 
he has mutilated me for life. Just examine 
my nose and ribs, Doctor, and dress my nose 
and eyes as soon as possible, so that they will 
soon heal. 

Doctor — Why did Jim strike you ? 
Peter — Well, Doctor, he wanted some rum 
on credit, and because I hesitated, and finally 
gave him some very poor rum (rather freely 
adulterated), to get rid of him, he got angry, 
and threw the rum and water in my face, and 
then most cruelly beat mo. 

Doctor — Mr. Cooper, why don't you stop 
selling rum, and especially to such low char- 
acters as nigger Jim '( 

Peter — O, I can't stop selling rum, as I 
make more profit on that than any thing else. 
In fact, it is nearly all profit, if properly and 
judiciously adulterated. 

Doctor — But don't you impoverish and de- 
grade and render vicious all to whom you sell 
your poisonous alcohol, and expose their wivea 
and children to all the horrors of poverty, and 
the brutal ferocity and insanity of a drunken 
father ? 

Peter — O, I don't know any thing about all 
that. All I know, as a business man, is, that 
I get a mighty large profit on my rum, and if 
my customers get drunk, and abuse and starve 
their families, and commit theft or murder, 
that is their fault, and I shall not be re- 
sponsible for it here, nor hereafter. 

Doctor — I fear you view this matter alto- 
gether in the light of selfishness. 

Peter (terribly cornered)— Doctor, no more 
of this. I have come to have yon examine 
and dress my wounds, and if you can't do it, 
without a tedious homily on temperance, I 
will go to the other Apothecary, down tho 
Bowery, who has long been your rival, and 
would like the job mighty well. (This was a 
clincher, and smashed the Doctor's impregna- 
ble position.) 

Doctor — That is all true, Mr. Cooper, and 
I will discharge my painful duty. Here, 
Samuel, bring me some warm water. (Washes 
Peter's bloody nose and dark eyes, and dresses 
them. He then feels of his bruised ribs, and 
finds them unbroken, though very sore and 
inflamed.) 
Peter — Doctor, what is your charge ? 
Doctor — Twenty-five cents. 
Peter — Business is very dull now, and 
your rival Apothecary, down the Bowery, 
would not have charged more than twenty 
cents. Can't you take twenty, Doctor? 

Doctor — Twenty will do, if you will promise 
to come again, when nigger Jim beats you. 

Peter (very slightly blushes)— I will cer- 
tainly come again, when I have any more busi- 
ness in the Apothecary line. (Gives the Doc- 
tor an old pistareen, and departs, with poul- 
tices and bandages over his eyes and nose.) 

SUNDAY EVENING. 

Peter's Groggery full of political strikers 
and vagalonds and criminals of every hue— 
A primary election to come off early in the 
morning. 

Peter — Now, boys, I want you to put mo 
through to-morrow. 

Thieves — We will — we will. 

Peter — If you will, Til give you all the 
most glorious drunk you have had since tho 
last election. 

Head Thief- — We will elect a majority of 
our friends to the Convention, and you may 
regard your nomination as sure. 

Peter — Give me your hand on that delight- 
ful news, and now, boys, what are you going 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



to ilrink? As it is Sunday evening, aad as 
some of the stiff old deacons will soon be 
coming by on their way to Ghnrch, I will 
close my shop doors, and then we will all sit 
down, and drink and smoke until daylight ap- 
pears, so that yon can be earlier than our ad- 
versaries at the polls, and put in a handful or 
two of ballots before the i>"lls open. What 
say you ? 

Jack (one of the primary inspectors) — Go it, 
Peter, — you are the boy for me. 1 put in a 
large handful of ballots with your name on 
them half an hour since. 

Peter— That's the talk, my lad. I will re- 
member you for that, if I'm elected, (Closes 
the doors, and brings a jug of rnm.) Now, 
buys, till yourselves tu your throats with rnm, 
and in the mean time, I'll get some crackers 
and el:.' 

TTvierei (all drink like fish while Peter is 
after the crackers and cheese.) 

(To be continued for a long time.) 

T. P. Johnston has a complimentary bene- 
fit at Wallack's Theatre on Saturday evening, 
the 26th of June. I shall go early, and take 
a front seat, and enjoy his extraordinary comi- 
calities, and 1 advise all to follow my example. 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit— From two to four second?, or as long as tlie Ad? 
Yenisei- can hold his breath ! Letters ami Advertisements to 
be left at No. VIS Nassau street, third floor, baclc room. 

and RETAIL CLOTHING t FURNISH INti WARE- 
HOUSE. 70 and 72 Bowery, I" tween Can;:! ami Hector su., 
Kew Ynrk. Large and elegant assortment of Smiths' and 
Boys' Clotlmrg. ' F.B.BALDWIN, 

J. G. BARXU.M. 

F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense 
Establishment . THE LARGEST IN THE CITY! An en. 
tire New Stock of GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S and CHIL- 
DREN'S CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best 
workmen in tin' eitv. is now opened for inspection. Also, a 
sup, rior stock of FURNISHING GOODS. All articles are 
of the Best Qniilitv, and having been purchased during tin' 
crisis, WILL BE "SOLD VERY LOW! The Custom 1) ■- 

porta) • t : iini the reatest variety of CLOTHS, CASSI- 

MERES, and VESTINGS. 

Mr. BALDWIN bus associated -with him Sir. J. O BAIt- 
NUM, who has had great experience in the business, ba 
beentmrr, years connected with the leading Clothing Es- 
tabiiflbinents of Ihe city. 

THOMAS A. DUNN, 506 EIGHTH A.VJSH UK, 
has a very chr-i* 1 ' 1 assortment, of "Wines, Brandies, Car- 
dials, and Segars, which he will sell at prices that will yield a 
Alii profit, All my derm i ratic friends, and my imraednite as- 
Buciiites in the Boards of Aldermen and Councilmen are re- 
spectrally invited tu call in theirramhleBfnrougbEighth Ave- 
nue, and eujoy a good Havana sojiar, and nice, sparkling 
champagne, and very exhilerating brandy. For the segars, 1 
will charge my political friends and associates only five pence 
each, and tor the brandy only ten pence per half gill, and for 
the champagne only four shillings a glass, or two dollars a bot- 
tle. 

So call, kind friends, and sing a glee. 
And laugh and smoke and drink wiih me, 
Sweet Sangaree 
Tiil you can't see: 
( Ghana — At yoar expense 1 

(Which pays my renta,) 
F*»r my fingers do you see 
O'er mv nose gyrating free ? 

THOMAS A. DUNN, No. 506 Eighth avenue. 

J VAN TINE, SHANGAE RESTAUKANT, 
• Nu. 2, Dey Btreet, New York. 



COREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S EX- 
change, Wail street, New York-Notaries Public and C<.>m- 
missiouern — fjnited State's Pa>sports issued in GG hours, — 
Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and Notes protested, — Marine pro- 
tests noted and extended. 

EDWIN F. COREY, 
EDWIN F. COKEY, Jr. 



ARLTON HOUSE, 49(3 BROADWAY, N J! \Y 

York. Bates and Holdcn, Proprietors. 

THEOPHILUS BATES. 
OREL J.HOLDEN. 



V 



c 



B 



OWERY NEWS DEPOT, NO. 177 BOW- 

JJ ery.— Constantly on hand, Daily, Sunday and Weekly 
Tapers, Monthly Magazines, Play Bouks, stationary, &c. ic, 
English Papers per Steamers. All orders punctually attended 
to. BENNETT & CARROLL 



T 



RIMMING MANUFACTURERS. — B. S. 

YATES h CO., G39 Broadway, New York. 
Fringes, Cords, Tassels, Loops, Gimps, 
and Gimp Bande, 

GERAKD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND 
i Iota oiasion Merchants, No. 106, Wall street, corner of 
Front Btreet, New York. 

JAMES DONNELLYS COAL YARD,— 
Twenty-sixth Btreet and Second Avenue. I always have 

all binds of coal on hand, and of the very beet quality, which 
I will sell as low as any other coal dealer in the United Stab a 
JAMES DONNELLY. 



OLEY'S CELEBRATED " GOLD PENS." 

Jb'or sale by all StBtioners and Jewellers. 
OLF1CE AND STORE. 

16.3 BROADWAY. 



AMERICAN GLASS COMPANY, MA N tj 
fiirture and keep constantly on hmdat their Warehouse 
Plain, Moulded, and Cut Flint Glass W..re, in all it" varieties'. 

Also, Druggists' and Perfumers' Ware of all Kinds. Whole- 
sale Warebmises, No. 1G3 Pearl street, New York, and ,5-1 Kilby 
street, Boston. (Factories at South Boston.) D. BurrUl &. 
Co., Agent.-, New York. 



SAMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER.— 
My Ofiice is at No. 81 Corlears street, New York ; and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. 1 have built 
Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a 
long term of years, and coatinue to do so on reasonable 
terms. SAMUK.L SN'EDEN. 



w. 



W. OSBOEN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 

9 Chamber street, near Chatham street, New York. 



TNO. WARD, JR., REAL ESTATE AGENT, 

v Offices No. 5 Tryoii Raw, comer Chatham St., (opposite 
the Park,) New York, and 4th A-Vfenue, near ISSth street, 
Harlem. 



ROBERT ONDEROOXK — TiHRJ'J'.ENTU 
"" : l r ** , 4U5 and 407 Grand street, comer of Cliaton 

street, : .w lurk. 



MRS. S. S. BIRD'S LADIES' AND GENTLE- 
m< n's Duiiug and Oyster Saloons, No 31 Canal street, 
near Eust Broadway, and 264 Division street, New York. 
Oyst. rs Pickled to Order. 



WILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR, & OFFICE 
Furniture Dealer and Manufacturer, 
No. 289 Broadway, corner of Read btreet New York. Room 
No. 15. 



rpEUSSBS, ELASTIC STOCKINGS, SHOUL- 
JL der Braaes, Supporters, Bandages, 5te. H. L. Parsons, 
E D. Office, 4 Ann street, under the Museum. 

TjUSHION HOUSE.— JOSEPH HYDE PRO- 

J- prietor, corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, 
aud Cigars of the best brands. He invites his friends to give 
him a eall. Prompt and courteous attention given his patron.-;. 



S& J. W. BARKER, GENERAL AUC- 
• TIONEERS & REAL ESTATE BROKERS. Loans 
negotiated, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds 
S ild at Auction or Private Sale. 

Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses. 
OifcVe, 14 Pine street, under Commonwealth Bank. 



AUGUST BKNTANO, CORNER OF HOUS- 
t a! street &. Broadway, has all the latest Publications, 
aud receives all the Foreign Papers by < very steamer. Ho 
also has the back numbers of almost every paper published, 
including Branch's " Alligator?' 



w 



ILLIAM A. CONK UN, ATTORNEY AND 
COUNSELLOR AT LAW, No. 17U Chatham street, 
New York. Any ^business Entrusted to his e.hairge from citi- 
zens i 'ft his city or any par? 61 tie country, will receive prompt 
and faithful attention, and be c ■■•'■' i ■■■ d< n reasonable ti rms. 
W1L3 1 HI A CONKLIN. 



HrSPATfii' Vi liAMPION FlRE A' D BUR- 
_...r 1'rooi S;,!e, l vviih HalFs Patent Powder Proof 
Locks, afford the greatest security ol any Safe in the world. 
Also. Sideboard and Parlor Safes, ol elegant workmanship 
and finish, for plate, <fcc s. C. HERRING & CO., 

251 Broadway. 



JAMES MELENFY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAMUEL 
Hopper,) Grocer, and Wholesale and Retail Dealer in 
Pure Country Milk. Teas, Coffee, Sugars & Spices. Flour, 
Butter, Laid. Cheese, E°gs Arc No. 158, Eighth Avenue, 
Near lSth Street. New York. Families supplied by leaving 
their address at 'he Store. 



BOOT 4- SHOE EMPORIUMS. EDWIN A. BROOKS, 
Importer and Manufacturer of Boots, Shoes & Gaiters, 
Wholesale and Retail, No. 575 Broadway, and 150 Fulton 
Street, New York. 



yC SPEDON AND BAKER'S STATIONERY WARE- 
1*1 house and Envelope Manufactory, Nog. 29, 31, and 
33, Beekman Street, New York. 

Envelopes of all patterns, styles, and qualin, on hand, 
and made to order for the trade and others, bj Steam Ma- 
chinery. Patented April 8th, 1856. 



COZZENS' HOTEL COACHES,— STABLE, Nos 34 and 
36 Canal Street, New York. 
I will strive bard to please all those generous citizens 
who will kindly favor mc with their patronage. 

EDWARD VAN RANST. 



JW MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE and 
, Retail dealers in all kinds of Chairs. Wash Stands, 
Settees Ac. 377 & 379 Pearl Street, New York. 

Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping. 



j.iENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN Real 
li Estate- Houses and stores and lots lor sale in all 
parts of the city. Office at the junction of Broadway, 
Seventh Avenue, and Forty-Sixth Street. 



|?ULL:Y1ER AND WOOD, CARRIAGE Manufacturers, 
V 239 West 19ih Straet, New York. 

Horse shoeing done with despatch, and in the most sci- 
ent lie manner, and on reasonable terms. 



\\f E. KNAPP'S NEWS DEPOT, 279 BLEEKER ST., 
VV • near Harrow street. Subscriptions for Dailies, 
Weeklies, and Monthlies, which will be served as soon as 
issued. 



CHEAP PERIODICAL AND PAMPHLET BINDERY, 
No. 50 Ann street, N. Y. F. S. Ptttman, successor to 
to II. H. Randall. Mr. Gouverncur Carr and N. S. Putnam 
have purchased an inteicst in the euncern. 

PC. GODFREY, STATIONER, BOOKSELLER, AND 
• General News dealer, 831 Broadway, New York, 
near 13th street. 



JOHN B. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, T18 WATER STREET 
My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me a eall, 
nnd if I don't please you, I will diadain to charge you for 
what does uot entirely satisfy you. JOHN B. WEBB. 



A L ANSON T. BRIGOS— DEALER IN KLOUR BARRELS, 
Molasses Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks. 
Also, new flour barrels and half-barrels; a large supply 
constantly on hand. My Stores are at Nos, 62, 63, 61, 69, 
7::, T.\ 77 and 79 Rutger's Slip ; at 235, 237, and 239 Cherry 
street ; also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and 
Rutger's Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in 
|,Vlll Lmsburgh are at Furman & Oo.*a Dock. My yards in 
New York are nt the corner of Wafer and Gouverncur 
; and i V,\.-hin^t<<n street, near Canal ; and at Le- 
i .\ Place. My general Office is at C4 Rutger's Slip. 

A LAN SOX T. BRIGGS. 



I^ULTON IRONWORK S.— JAMES MURPHY & CO., 
. manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, 
<fcc. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East 

River. 



Li 



RADD1CK & HOGAN, SAlLMAKERS, No. 272 South 
Street, New York. 
Awnings, Tents, and Bags made to order. 

JESSE A. BRADDICK, 
RICHARD HOGAN. 



\*/ILL!AM M. SOMERVILLE, WHOLESALE AND 
t V Retail Druggist and Apothecary, 205 BJeecker-st , 
corner Mihetta, oppositeCottage Place, New York. All the 
popular Patent Medicines, fresh. Swedish Leeches. Cup- 
ping, &c. Physicians' Prescriptions accurately pi< pared. 
WM. M. SOMERVILLB, 



AW, v T. iil ME, MERCHANT TAILORS. No. 
. • 82 Sixth Avenue, New York. We keep a large and 
elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman re- 
quites. We make Coats, A ; ests and Pants, alter the latest 
Parisian fashions, and on reasonable terms. 

A. W. & T. HUME. 



THE WASHINGTON, By BARTLETT &' GATES, 
No. 1 Broadway, New York. Come and see us, good 
friends, ami cat aud drink and be merry, in the same capa- 
cious and patriotic halls where the immortal Washington's 
voice and laugh once reverberated. 
O come to our Hotel, 
And you'll be treated well. 

BARTLETT & GATES. 



N. CENIN, FASHIONABLE HaTTER, 214 Broad- 
way New York. 



G 



BENIN'S I. ^DIES* & CHILDREN'S OUTFITTING 
Bazaar, 513 Broadway, (St Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.) 



i^DWARD PHALON & SON, 497 ami 517 Broadway, 
J New York — Depots for the sale of Perfumery, and 
every artirle connected with the Toilet. 

We muvintiodnee the "BOUQUET D'OGARITA, or 
Wild Flower of Mexico," which is superior to any thing of 
the kind in the civilized world. 

EDWARD PHALON & SON. 



EXCELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 CENTRE ST., 13 
furnished with every facility, latest Improved presses, 
and the newest styles of type — for the excution of Book, 
Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens. 

C1UARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, (ESTABLISHED IN 
J 1S0S,) Sign of the Golden Horse, 39 Bowery, New York, 
opposite the Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his articles as low as 
any other Saddler in America, and warraut them to be equal 
to any in the World. 



HN. WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 
• 451 Broadway, bet. Grand and Howard streets, New 
York. My Iceland" Moss and Flaxseed Candy will cure 
Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time. 



JAMES GRIFFITHS, (Late CHATFIELD A GRIFFITHS,) 
No. 273 Grand St., New York. A large stock of well-se- 
lected Cloths, Cassimeres, Vestinps, &c , on hand. Gent's, 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in the most 
approved style. All cheap for Cash. 



J AGATE & CO., MEN'S FURNISHING GOODS 
i and Shirt Mannfacturers, 256 Broadway, New York 

Shirts made I) order aud guaranteed to fit. 
J. AGATE, F. W. TALKINGTON. 

BILLIARD TABLES.— PHELAN'S IMPROVED BIL- 
Iiard Tables and Combination Cushions— Protected by 
letters patent, dated Feb. 19, 1856 : Oct. 28, 1S5G ; Dec. 8, 
1S57; Jan. 12, JS58. The recent improvements in these 
Tables make them uusurpassed in the world. They are 
now offered to th6 scientific Billiard players as combining 
speed with truth, never before obtained in any Billiard T^ble. 
Sales-rooms Nbs. 786 and 76S Broadway, New York. Manu- 
factory No. 53 Ann Street. 

O'CONNOR & COLLENDOR, Sole Manufacturers. 



Q L. OLM STEAD, IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER 
k5» and Jobber of Men's Furnishing Goods, No. 24 Bar- 
clay Street, corner of Church, New York. 

CD. HATCH, I11LLER <fc MERSEREAU, Importers 
i and Jobbers of Men's Furnishing Goods, and Manu- 
facturers of the Golden Hill Shirts, 99 Chambers Street, N. 
E. corner Church Street, New York. 



LA. ROSENMILLER, DRUGGIST, NO. 172 EIGHTH 
t Avenue, New York. Cupping & Leeching. Medi- 
cines at all hours. 




Volume I.— No. 12.] 



SATURDAY, JULY 10, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Bennett, Barnum, and Gerard. 

Three precocious villains stripped to tlie shin. 
— Precious, and startling, and thrilling 
under-current revelations for the people. — 
Read ! Read ! Read ! 

EennctCs daily nrgence of the immediate 
creation of a Tax Payer's Party is one of bis 
old tricks, and is the detected burglar's hoarse 
cry of stop thief. Bennett got me to intro- 
duce Alfred Carson as a Candidate for Mayor, 
just after his exciting Fire Report of 1850. I 
wrote several articles in favor of Carson for 
the Mayoralty, and Bennett published them, 
when lo! one rainy morning, I awoke, and 
opened the Herald, and the hypocritical old 
villain had another Candidate. I asked him 
if he intended to drop my old friend Carson, 
and he said no, but he thought he would try 
to bring another candidate into the field, ju?t 
for a little fun, and that I could write about 
three editorials a week for Carson, and flatter 
him as much as I chose, and he would publish 
them. This was on Monday. On Wednesday, 
I caught him closeted with a formidable can- 
didate for the Mayoralty, and on Saturday, he 
very cautiously introduced a third Candi- 
date for the Mayor's honors. As these 
were all wealthy men, and as Carson was 
very poor, and perceiving that Bennett un- 
questionably intended to sell Carson, and per- 
haps had already done so, I went to him in a 
towering rage, and charged him with treach- 
ery to myself and Carson. He smiled like 
Richard and Iago, and assured me that he 
should support Carson down to the last hour 
of the election. But 1 could not believe him ; 
so I went to Carson, on Sunday morning, and 
wrote his famous declination of the Mayoral- 
ty, which rocked the parties of that day to 
their foundations with infinite delight, as every 
traffic politician had trembled to his toes, since 
the introduction of Carson's potent and honest 
name for the Mayoralty. When I carried 
Carson's Card to the Herald office, on Sunday 
evening, Mr. Bennett was absent, having gone 
to the country with Judge Russell and his 
lady. But Frederic Iludson was there— (his 
Aminadab Sleek Secretary,) who expostulated, 
and strove by every artifice in his prolific re- 
sources, to induce me not to publish Carson's 
Card until I had seen Mr. Bennett. But I de- 
manded him to let the Card appear on the 
following morning, and told him that himself 
and Bennett should be ashamed of themselves 
for striving to sell Carson through me, and 
that 1 believed Bennett had already received 
thousands of dollars for his contemplated sell 
of Carson, in favor of one of the wealthy can- 



didates. My withdrawal of Carson led to the 
election of Ambrose C. Kingslaud, a very il- 
literate man, and one of the meanest of the 
human species, and the oiliest and biggest 
conspirator and public thief since the days of 
the Roman Cataline. In 1853, Bennett asked 
me to introduce the name of Alderman A. A. 
Denman, of the Sixteenth Ward, as a candi- 
date for Mayor, to whom I was imparting the 
rudiments of the English language, athis house 
in Nineteenth street. Denman was Chairman 
of the Committee that reported favorably at 
ray request, on awarding the Corporation 
Printing to the Herald at $3,000 per annum, 
and the other journals at $1,000. Bennett 
seemed grateful to Denman for his favorable 
Printing Report, and I really thought he was 
sincere in his contemplated advocation of 
Denman for the Mayoralty ; and I saw Den- 
man, and he permitted me to iue his name in 
connection with the Mayoralty, aud I began 
to write articles, and published them in the 
Herald, strongly recommending Denman to 
the Mayoralty. At this time, Denman was 
one of the most popular men in the demo- 
cratic party, and his annunciation for Mayor, 
confused the leaders and aspirants of all par- 
ties. Presto! Bennett announces another 
candidate, in a sort of a half-and-half black 
mail way, and I instantly withdrew Denman, 
who was sadly disappointed at the loss of the 
Mayoralty honors, and joined the in jst bloated 
thieves of all parties, in the odious Common 
Counsel of 1852 and 1853, and he was soon 
forever lost as an honorable public man. Aud 
now this Scotch reprobate comes forward, 
without a blush on his vicious cheeks, and 
prates of a Tax Payer's Party, in order to ef- 
fect some hellish thievish purpose. Perhaps 
his object is to nominate Judge Russell, or 
Fire Marshal Baker, or Galbraith, or some of 
his roguish go-betweens and thimble-riggers 
for Mayor, so that he can occupy the pleasant 
relations of Peter Cooper to Mayor Tiemann, 
his amiable son-in-law. But how the intelli- 
gent tax payers of the Metropolis can be so 
easily and so often bamboozled by this super- 
ficial Scotch Juggler, is a mystery to me, 
when they all know that he has always fa- 
vored vice, and stabbed virtue. And if there 
ever was a candidate for office, during Ben- 
netts long editorial career, whom he did not 
sell, or if there ever was a truly virtuous as- 
pirant for public honors, whose election Ben- 
nett ever sincerely advocated before the peo- 
ple, without a cash consideration, I should like 
to see the most extraordinary anomaly. Ben- 
nett very ingeniously plasters his victims with 
disgusting panegyric, for a brief period, when 



he lets loose the dogs of Tartarus, and while tin y 
devour them, he tills bis cotters with gold from 
every candidate in the field, to whom he has 
pledged his support. But he is very old, and 
the devil will soon have him, and millions 
will rejoice when old Nick drags him to his 
fervent realms, and begins bis merited tortures. 
And it will require wasteless years to burn 
the sins from his infamous and loathsome and 
nauseous carcase. The creation of James Gor- 
don Bennet's Tax Payer's Party, after his 
cash advocation of all the abandoned scamps 
of America to office for thirty years, is the 
most amusing proposition of the age. And 
yet the omnipotent ballot stutters may come 
to his rescue, and adopt his plans. And why 
should they not? Is not Barnum again 
abroad, and about to shake the world with 
another humbug. Barnum has grown pro- 
digiously affluent since the Hard times began, 
and since money became scarce, aud since 
people began to starve, and since the elements 
of Pluto leveled his Oriental Palace to the 
ground, (which was highly insured!) and 
above all, since ho took as partner, that cun- 
ning old rat, James W. Gerard, who, like Dick 
Connolly and Simeon Draper, is ever found 
in all political camps. Gerard was the real 
originator of the Joice Heath imposture, and 
all of Barnurn's humbugs, aud has borne him 
through all his financial clock troubles, for 
which ho has got enough from Barnum to en- 
able him to sustain his chariots and postilions 
and magnificent establishment in Gramercy 
Park until he dies. It was Gerard who in- 
troduced Kingsland for Mayor, and other 
successful candidates, and, in the dark, ad- 
vocated Fernando Wood's course down to 
his disastrous exodus from public life. And 
it was Gerard who sustained Matsell through 
all his infamous career, down to the famous 
meeting in the Tabernacle, and in the Legis- 
lative lobby, even going into the seats of 
members, and coaxing them in various ways 
to spare Matsell. Aud it was Gerard who, 
after Wood had fallen, went into the camp of 
Tiemann, where he is now, in order to cut 
the throats of Tiemann and the Coopers the 
first opportunity, and is at this moment, in 
collusion with Bennett in the formation of a 
TaxPayer's Party. "All things to all men" 
is the motto of Gerard, and he has played his 
card adroitly for nearly half a century. But 
he has now probably got his last set of false 
teeth, and his last wig, and will probably soon 
die of old age like his old friend Bennett, who 
have operated together in ambuscade, for thirty 
unbroken years, in all the political villainy that 
has been concocted during this long and event- 



9 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALEIGATOR. 



ful period. No matter who succeeds in the 
elections, Gerard and Bennett are in the tri- 
umphant camp?, as now : Bennett in Buchan- 
an's White House, and Gerard in Mayor 
Tieinann's confidence, and both playing into 
each others hands, like Draper and Connolly. 
Picolomini is the last card that these jugglers 
will play. Gerard is a snob and a dandy, and 
an Opera exquisite, and it was he, (through 
Barnum,) who introduced Jenny Lind to the 
Americans, and got Bennett, for a large sum, 
to abuse Barnum and Jenny Lind, as an ad- 
vertisement. Bennett did not get less than 
$80,000 from Gerard and Barnum for his daily 
abuse of Jenny Lind and Barnum. I was 
daily in the Herald office in those days, audi 
often saw Barnum closeted with Frederic 
Hudson, and James Gorden Bennett. And 
Gerard and Barnum have already arranged 
with Bennett, and paid him the cash down, to 
abuse Picolomini, while the Times and 
THbune and many other journals are to be 
paid to praise her. And such a yell as we 
shall have on her arrival, will frighten the 
rats and cats. For, in this funny world, blar- 
ney is regarded as sincere praise and evidence 
of merit, while detraction is persecution, 
which verdant people won't tolerate, and 
especially when hurled at such fascinating 
creatures as Fanny Elssler, or Jenny Lind, or 
Picolomini. This' is certainly a very curious 
world, and, like Dr. Franklin, I am curious to 
know if our spiritual existence is to be as 
curious as our material ; and I am extremely 
anxious to learn if Bennett, Barnum, and Ger- 
ard are to have an eternal abode in Heaven? 



NEW YOKK, SATURDAY, JULY 10, 1858. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S "ALLIGATOR" CAN BE 
obtained at all hours, (day or night,) at wholesale and 
retail, at No. 128 Nassau Street, Near Beckman Street, 
and opposite Koss <fc Tousey's News Depot, New Yoik. 

The Fourth of July-General Washington 
in Tears—The Decline of American In- 
tegrity and Patriotism. 

There was a formidable mutiny in the Army 
of the Revolution, arising from the inability 
of the Government to pay the officers and 
soldiers, who assure Washington that, in order 
to provide food and raiment for their wives 
and children, they should return to their 
homes, and cultivate their neglected fields, 
and pursue their various peaceful avocations, 
if their salaries were not paid on a stated day. 
Washington invites the prominent leaders to 
meet him, and they accept his cordial invita- 
tion. The Hall is rilled at an early hour with 
the bravest officers of the American camp, 
whom the village bell summons to hear an 
Address from their great Commander, and as 
its doleful reverberations expire on the even- 
ing air, Washington enters with unwonted 
dignity and gloom, and ascends the rostrum, 
and seats himself, and unfolds his Address to 
his noble and impoverished comrades. He sits, 
with one hand on his heart, and the other 
over his temples and unearthly eyes, and is 
apparently absorbed in grief and prayer. The 
silence of the tomb pervades the martial 
audience, and all seem to regard the hour as 
the most momentous in human history, as the 
return of the officers and soldiers to their 
homes, at this solemn crisis of the Revolution, 
might prove to be the funeral of liberty, and 
of patriots throughout the World. Washing- 
ton approaches the desk, and stands like a 
statue, when neither whisper nor respiration 
can beheard, throughout the mournful throng. 
With haggard cheeks, and without repose for 
three successive nights, he wipes the copious 
tears from his blood-shot eyes, and moistens 



his parched mouth with water, and strives 
hard to articulate, but his big heart is so full, 
and his lips quiver so rapidly, and his tears 
fall so fast, that his speech is paralysed, and 
his vision blinded, 'lite officers regret their 
rashness, and breathe heavy sighs, and recline 
their heads in silent grief, and some weep 
aloud, which kindles their feelings into a 
general lamentation, and the patriotic ladies 
tin-ill the entire assemblage with their pierc- 
ing ejaculations. Washington strives to sum- 
mon 'his wonderful self-possession, (which 
never deserted him till now,) and he rallies 
his resources like the dead of the resurrection, 
when he breathes these figurative truths, in 
the voice of it celestial being : " My beloved 
Companions: You know that I have grown 
gray in yourservice, and now you perceive that 
1 am growing blind." And while he utters 
these touching words, his iron nerve again 
succumbs, and he moistens his manuscript 
with the waters of his supernatural heart. He 
seats himself, and buries his face, and weeps 
as in his spotless childhood. The valiant 
officers, (who had never faltered amid the 
carnage and thunders of battle,) are utterly 
overwhelmed by Washington's tears, and they 
depart for their respective quarters, and relate 
what has transpired, which infuses new forti- 
tude and patriotism and unconquerable valor 
in the breasts of the desponding and mutinous 
soldiers, who rush to arms with the wild and 
irresistible impetuosity of Greene and Putnam, 
and the liberties of America are soon achiev- 
ed. What a withering rebuke is this to the 
public thieves and traitors of the present gene- 
ration. The only hope of our country is in 
the early appearance of a race of men like 
Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Madison, 
Adams, Hamilton, Jackson, Calhoun, Clay, 
and Webster. With such corrupt and brain- 
less wretches at the head of the American 
Press as Bennett, Greeley, and Raymond, 
with their gangs of mercenary scribblers in 
collusion with official robbers in the Munici- 
pal, State, and National Capitols, may the 
Good Being who heard the prayers of Wash- 
ington (amid the snow, and blood, and hunger, 
and nakedness of the Revolution) have mercy 
on the great body of our people, who are 
threatened with general pillage and despotism 
by the vampires whom editors — in collusion 
with bands of thieves and assassins — fraudu- 
lently elect to the highest posts of emolument 
and honor. The official robbers of a nation's 
treasury arc the uncompromising foes of the 
toiling millions, and of human freedom. O 
then let the virtuous and industrious classes 
rally, and drive back the pernicious burglars 
of their firesides. And on the coming Na- 
tional Sabbath, let the pure and patriotic 
youth and meritorious age go up to the Altars 
of our Fathers and our common God, and 
swear a ceaseless crusade against the plunder- 
ers of our country, and the dastard monsters 
who would distract, and divitle, and alienate 
the affections of our countrymen, on whose 
fidelity to Washington and the Union impend 
the hopes and happiness and liberty of the 
human race for eternal years. 



Let the Supei-risors watch the operations of 
Richard B. Connolly, who has prowled around 
the Aldermen and Councilmen and Super- 
visors for several years, from whom he has 
had not a farthing less than $1,000,000 since 
he has been County Clerk. The Supervisors 
alone voted him $316,000 for the printing of 
his musty and worthless Records, which no 
paper manufacturer would have purchased, 
nor even carted to their factories as a dona- 
tion. And they are of less value to the pub- 
lic in their printed form, than to the paper 
makers. It is a study, and a sad one for the 
tax payers, to see Dick Connolly and George 
II. Purser sitting in the Boards of Aldermen 



and Councilmen and Supervisors at almeist 
every session, for many years past, watching 
and nudging and coaxing the members to vote 
for their plundering enactments. These two 
scamps have never been naturalised, and have 
perjured themselves, since they cast their first 
ballots. But they don't perjure themselves 
any more in that way, as they don't daro 
vote, and have not voted since I exposed their 
alienage, three years since. They have pack- 
ed more Grand and Petit Juries, and con- 
demned and imprisoned and hung more inno- 
cent men, and robbed the City and Albany 
Treasuries to a greater extent than any other 
two public thieves and precocious monsters 
who walk the streets of New York. And 
both of these precious rascals now announce 
themselves as candidates for Comptroller! 
And they intend to buy their nomination and 
election with the very money they have steden 
and are stealing daily from the peojde. O that 
there was a Brutus or Cincinnatus to rebuke 
these villains, and to stab them down, and to 
thus shame and scourge the people for per- 
mitting such villains to go unpunished. 

I will soon show some of the mysterious 
currents of the Metropolis, and establish the 
friendly relations of Horace Greeley and Dana 
with Dick Connolly and Simeon Draper, in 
reference to the Alms House Spoils, and other 
extensive pickings and stealings. It is amus- 
ing to me to often see Greeley's Tribune white- 
wash the rakish and thievish TenGovernors. I 
will also show he>w Connolly and Draper hold 
their influence with the Cornier and Enquirer, 
Evening Post, and Commercial Advertiser. 
And how Dick and Sim silence the mercenary 
growls of the Herald. Fred Hudson and 
Galbraith and Bennett and Fire Marshal 
Baker could disclose these little matters, but 
as they could not do it without implicating 
themselves in stupendous villainy, I shall have 
to show how the black mail growls of the 
Herald are quickly silenced. The Institution 
of Death is a clincher to these devils. O, if 
such scoundrels as Connolly and Draper and 
Hudson and Bennett could only live always, 
they wemld have a nice time, but when they 
see a funeral, or have a deadly gripe in the 
direction of their wicked livers,' they shudder 
with horror, and pray harder and louder than 
a stout noisy Methodist darkey minister, until 
the gripe has passed away, and they have a 
fresh hold on dear life again, when their nervo 
returns, and they steal more, and oppress the 
tax payers and poor consumers with less re- 
morse than before they had almost a fatal 
gripe. But the worms and the devil will soon 
grab their thievish flesh and bones, and then, 
O Moses! what a precious feast they will 
have. 

O the grave ! the grave ! 
Mourns for the poor slave ; 
But for public thieves, 
The grave never grieves. 

The Lives of Peter Cooper and Jamba 
Gordon Bennett are omitted this week. My 
Journal is so small, and my advertisements 
increase so rapidly, that I shall not be able to 
continue the lives of these distinguished men 
in every issue. But in my next number, the 
Lives of Cooper and Bennett will appear. 
These men have silenced those who have 
threatened to publish their wicked antece- 
dents, but they will never silence me, only 
through imprisonment, or poison, or assassi- 
nation, which I have reason to believe they 
contemplate. All the wholesale dealers 
stopped selling the Alligator three weeks 
since, lest Bennett would not let them have 
the Ikrabh for their country agents. I strove 
to fasten the fact upon him, that he directed 
the wholesale dealers to stop selling the Alli- 
gator, and if I had nailed upon his forehead 
his Napoleonic edicts to suppress the liberty 






STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S AUIGATOR. 



and circulation of the American Press, I would 
have deliberately gone into his office, and shot 
him dead. No foreign unnaturalised scab 
like Bennett, shall trample with impunity the 
precious rights, and the glorious liberty that 
George Washington and my Grandfather be- 
queathed tome. So, Mr. Bennett, and Fred. 
Hudson, just have a care, and I implore yon 
in your persecution, to keep your keen eyes 
strongly riveted on the last feather that broke 
the poor camel's back. 

It is very strange what has become of the 
sterreotype plates containing James Gordon 
Bennett's curious relations with Fanny Elssler, 
during her famous sojourn in America. Can 
you inform me, Boss & Tousey, where they 
are ? If you will tell me, I will not tell Ben- 
nett that you told me, which will not give 
him a pretext to stop your supply of Heralds 
again, by which you told me you lost several 
thousand dollars. Besides, if he does, you can 
get rich fast enough by selling the Ledger and 
Alligator. So tell us where these myste- 
rious plates can fie found. Perhaps they are 
on storage in Philadelphia. "Who knows?" 
as the amiable Dr. Wallace very often says at 
the close of his abrupt and hurried Herald 
editorials, when he is thirsty or hungry, or 
wants to go to the Theatre or Opera. 

Mr. Erben, the Trinity Church Organ 
Grinder, will please inform me if he owns a 
house in Baxter street, and if the character 
of the inmates are as respectable as himself, 
and especially the females. James Gordon 
Bennett will also please go into Baxter street, 
and ascertain and inform me if Mr Erben's 
house is as reputable as Helen Jewett's old 
residence, at, No. 41 Thomas street. Speak 
out, Satans Numbers One and Two. 

I had to omit the continuation of my Life 
this week, which will appear in the next num- 
ber of the " Alligator." 



Mayor Daniel F. Tiemann's Forced Se- 
duction of a Lady on Randall's Island- 
Simeon Draper's Lascivious Propensities 
—Most Damning Revelations 

Some years since, there was a lovely do- 
mestic circle in our city, consisting of a hus- 
band, wife, and three children. The father 
died, and the widow was cast upon the world, 
without means to feed and clothe and educate 
her precious offspring. She had been the fa- 
vorite daughter of affluent parents, and was 
educated by the ablest teachers. In conver- 
sation, she was eloquent and impassioned, and 
her fluent and melodious words, as they flowed 
from her red and pouting lips, and her even 
and pearly teeth, fascinated all who had the 
envied fortune to linger on her luxuriant lan- 
guage, and pretty smiles, and dimples, and 
most extraordinary purity of expression. 
Governor Simeon Draper fastens his voluptu- 
ous eyes upon her, and her fate is sealed. 
Three years since, Gov. Draper proposes that 
she become a matron on Randall's Island, and 
she accepts his proposition, and he procures 
her a situation. After she began to discharge 
her matron duties, Governors Draper and Bell 
(now Supervisor), entered her domestic apart- 
ment on Randall's Island, and asked her what 
she had in the next room, pointing their fin- 
gers to her bed room. She said they might 
look for themselves. They replied: "What 
are yon afraid of?' She said: "I am not 
afraid, hut I do not desire to go into a bed- 
room with two gentlemen." They then seized 
her, and strove to drag her into her bedroom, 
when she resisted and finally screamed, which 
alarmed them, and they withdrew their hands, 
and said : " You need not be afraid to go with 
us into the bed room, singly, as we know that 
you have lets friend go with you into your 



bed room ever since your husband died, and 
enjoy your fascinations to his heart's content." 
She said: "If my friend has done the thing 
of which you speak, neither of you shall." 
Governors Draper and Bell then retired, but 
Draper soon returned, and proposed to buy 
two cloaks for two handsome girls who were 
about to leave the Institution, and said that 
she should go to the city and buy them, and at 
the same time purchase one for herself, regard- 
less of price, and send the bill to his office, and 
he would pay it. She objected on the ground 
that if she accepted the proposition, he would 
expect licentious favors in return. Draper 
said that he was so anxious to stay with her, 
that he would'ntmind giving her $50 in cash. 
She said that she feared her friend would 
hear of it, and withdraw his affections, and 
might kill him, and perhaps her, as he truly 
loved her, and was of a very jealous and im- 
pulsive nature. Draper said she needn't be 
afraid, as he could never hear of it. She 
then accepted his proposition to go to the city 
and purchase the cloaks, and directed the bill 
to be sent to his office, which was done, and 
he paid it. At this time, a fervent friendship 
was budding into bloom and blossom, between 
herself and Governor Daniel F. Tiemann, to 
whom she immediately disclosed all that had 
transpired between herself and Governors 
Bell and Draper. Tiemann affected great ex- 
asperation, and wrote her statement, (which 
terribly excoriated Draper,) with the design 
of presenting it to the Ten Governors in open 
session. This alarmed her, and she told her 
friend what had occurred, and that Governor 
Tiemann was about to expose Governors Bell 
and Draper to the Board of Ten Governors, 
and to the whole world, to which he strongly 
objected, as it might involve them in a com- 
mon ruin, and he urged her to request Gover- 
nor Tiemann not to present the document. 
And he assured her, if she permitted Gover- 
nor Tiemann to do this favor for her, that he 
might soon want her smiles and beauty and 
caresses and embraces, (like Bell and Draper), 
as a requital for his apparently disinterested 
and meritorious services in her behalf. She 
saw Tiemann, and the document was sup- 
pressed. Draper heard of her movements, 
and became jealous of her partiality for Tie- 
mann, and he had her suspended. But Tie- 
mann had her reinstated. When Bell and 
Draper's time expired as Alms House Gover- 
nors, Gov. Tiemann immediately resolved that 
her friend should not visit the Island, as the 
first movement to his contemplated seduction 
of the beautiful matron. And he was so de- 
termined, that he resorted to the daring effort 
to exclude him, even after he obtained a per- 
mit. For Gov. Tiemann clearly saw that 
while her friend visited her, he (Tiemann) 
would have a poor chance to gratify his own 
lust. Tiemann finally succeeded in ejecting 
her friend from the Island, and on a dark and 
rainy afternoon, slyly meandered into her 
apartment, and after some loving smiles, and 
dulcet words, and melting sighs, and tender 
glances, he drew his chair towards her, 
and began to feel of her. She long resisted 
his extraordinary amorous movements, and 
struck him twice, and scratched and bit him, 
and terribly exhausted him and herself in 
their mutual struggles, and thought she had 
conquered him. But in his last desperate 
rally, he overpowered and vanquished her, 
and she had to let him go his whole length, 
and he accomplished his most hellish purpose. 
Her boy was living in the West, and wrote to 
her, that he was not only displeased with his 
relatives, but with the western country, and 
desired to return to New York. She showed 
the letter to Gov. Tiemann, and told him that 
she had not the money to spare to defray his 
expenses homo. He asked her how much it 
would cost. She said $15, when he gave her 



$f0, assuring her that he would not have it 
known for the world, that he let her have 
money to pay her son's expenses home. Sho 
quieted his fears, by assuring him that she 
would never disclose it. She sent the money 
to her boy, and he came home. Gov. Tiemann 
then got him a situation, but the boy had seen 
Tiemann take improper liberties "with his 
mother, and as he strongly suspected he had al- 
lured her from the paths of virtue, he very 
indignantly refused to accept the situation 
tendered by Gov. Tiemann. But in eight 
months afterwards, Gov. Tiemann obtained 
another place for the boy, and after unceasing 
importunity, he finally persuaded the boy to 
accept a situation in Broadway, where he now 
is. Last Autumn she had an interview with 
her friend in this city, when he charged her 
with sexual intercourse with Governor Tie- 
mann. She burst into a tremendous flood of 
tears, and cast herself into his arras, and crav- 
ed his forgiveness in rending accents. He 
asked her why she had long permitted Gover- 
nor Tiemann to use her beautiful person. She 
said that as he was poor, and Governor Tie- 
mann rich, and had foiled Draper in her sus- 
pension, and had elegantly furnished her 
apartments on the Island, and had paid the 
expenses of her boy from the West to the city, 
and had got him a good situation in Broad- 
w r ay, and had made her magnificent donations 
in jewelry and apparel, and had let her have 
money when she asked him, — and fearing that 
if she refused to gratify his lust, he would in- 
stantly have her dismissed as Matron, to en- 
dure again the tortures of penury,— that in 
view of all this, she had let him have sexual 
intercourse with her whenever he desired. 
But that she despised him for his wickedness, 
as he was a Church Member, in good stand- 
ing, and as he professed to be one of the lead- 
ing Reformers of the age. Her friend asked 
her how much money he had given her, and 
she said: " Quite a large sum, some of which 
I have deposited in a Bank," and she told 
him the name of the Bank. She also told 
him where the chairs, sofas, mirrors, stoves, 
ifcc, were purchased, and showed him the re- 
ceipted bills, which she placed in his hands, 
and he has them now. She then besought his 
pardon, and assured him that she would leave 
the Island, and come and live and die in his 
affectionate embraces. He forgave her, and 
she returned to the Island, and told Governor 
Tiemann that she desired to leave and return 
to her friend's humble abode, which alarmed 
Tiemann, who implored her in tears to remain, 
and he would protect her as long as he lived, 
and when on the eve of death, he would make 
ample provision for her support during her 
life. They were together in her apartment, 
for ten successive hours, in a most exciting 
and harrowing scene, when he promised to 
give her $500 on the following day, and she 
finally yielded, and remained, and is at the 
Island now, both as a Matron and as Mayor 
Tiemann's Mistress. Her friend was so exas- 
perated with her double treachery, that he 
went to one of the Ten Governors, (who is 
now in the Board,) and disclosed in w'riting 
under his signature the entire villainy of Tie- 
mann. The Governor in question sent for 
Tiemann, and asked him if the statement was 
true, when ho colored into a ball of fire, and 
left in shame and silence. The Governor did 
not expose Tiemann, in consequence of his 
innocent and interesting family, and his aged 
father, and his numerous relatives, including 
the versatile Peter Cooper, whose adopted 
daughter Mayor Tiemann married. These 
revelations will cause the worthy citizens of 
New York to bend their heads in sorrow, to 
behold a man of Mayor Tiemann's exalted 
professions of purity and piety, guilty of 
crimes that should consign him to the rack, 
and to an eternal hell, 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGA TOR. 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit— From two to four seconds, or as long as the Ad- 
vertiser can hold his breath ! Letters and Advertisements to 
be left at No. 12S Nassau street, third floor, back room. 



S& J. W. BARKER, GENERAL AUC- 
. TIONKERS Si REM, ESTATE BROKERS Loans 
in -. tint.-.i, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks mid Bonds 

Sold at Auction or Private Sale. 

Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses. 
Office, 14 Pine street, under Commonwealth Luck. 



foil ,win 

rtiiill. d to 

, for the sale of 

hour of 12 o'clock. 



NOTICE TO FARMERS AND MARKET 
GARDENERS— City Inspector's Department, 
N, u York, June 16, 1E5C — In conformity with thi 
resolution, tli' 1 apace therein mentioned will lie p< 
In* used as a phuje, by farmers and gardeners, 
i potables and garden produce^ until th- '• 
M daily— the use to be free of charge; 

Resolved That permission hi*, and U hereby, given to farm- 
ers and market gardeners, to occupy daily, until 12 M., free of 
charge, the vaetmt sp-.ee of the noiihem and southern extrem- 
ities of the intersection of Broadway and Sixth avenue, be- 
tween Thirty-second and Thirty-tilth streets, without infring- 
ing upon the streets which the said spare intersects, for the 
purpose only of selling vegetables and market profane, o. their 
own farms or gardens, under the supervision of the City In- 

jUso by resolution of the Common Council, The use of 
Gouvernenr slip is granted ta&rmera and gardeners for the 
salo of produce from wagons. 

GEO W. .MORTON, City Inflpeetor. 
JOSEPH CANNING, SupHof Markets. 

NOTICE— TO PERSONS KEEPING SWINE, 
OWNERS OF PROPERTY WHERE THE SAME 
MAY HE KEPT, AND ALL OTHERS INTERESTED. At 
r in.- tin- of the Mayor and Commissioners ot Health, held 
at the City Hall of the City of Now York, Friday, June 18th, 
1868 the following preamble and resolutions were adopted : 

Whereas, A large number of swine are kept in various por- 
tions of the city ; and whereas, it ia the general practice of 
persons bo keeping swine, to boil orlal and kitchen refuse and 
garbage, whereby a highly offensive and dangerous nuisance 
is created, therefore, be it" ,„■■•--. 

Resolved, That this Board, of the Mayor and Commission- 
ers of Health, deeming swine k« pt south of (80th) street, in 
this city, t i be creative of a nuisance and detrimental to the 
public health, therefore, the City Inspector be, and he is here- 
by, authorized and directed to take, seize, and remove from 
auy and all places and premises, all and every swine found or 
kept on any premises in any place in the city of New York 
B.uitherly of said street, and to cau*e all such swine to be re- 
moved to the Public Pound, or other suitable place beyond the 
limits of the city or northerly of said street, and to cause all 
premises or places wherein", or on which, said swine may 
have been so found or kept, to be thoroughly cleaned and puri- 
fied as the City Inspector shall deem necessary to secure the 
preservation of the public health, and that all expenses in- 
curred thereby constitute a lien on the lot, lots or premises 
from which sr'nd lunsaii.r- shall have been abated or removed 

Resolved, That the foregoing resolutions shall take effect 
from and after the first day of July next, and that public no- 
tice Ik-, given of the same by publication in the Corporation 
papers to that date, and that notice maybe given to persons 
keeping swine by circulars delivered on the premises, and 

that all violations of this order be prosecuted by the proper 
legal authorities, on complaint from the City Inspector or his 
oJicerd. _l 

Citv Inspf.ctor's Department, ! 
New York, June 18, 1858. J 
All persons keeping swine, or up.m whose property or prem- 
ises the same may be kept, are hereby notified that the above 
resolutions will be strictly enforced from and alter the tirst 
d\iy of July next. 

GEO. W. MORTON, City Inspector. 



CARLTON HOUSE, 496 BEO \l!\VAY,NEW 
York. Bates and Holden, Fgjgggg^ ^^ 

OREL .1. HOLDEN. 



TRIMMING MANUFACTURERS. — B. 
YATES k CO.. 639 Broadway, New York. 
Cords. Tassels, Loops, Gimps, 
and Gimp Bauds, 



Fringes, 



M. 



COULTER, Carpenter.— I have loner 
been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who 
will favor me with tin ril patrou»=<\ that I will build as good 
houses or anything else in jnv toe, as any other carpenter in 

.! N'.>v\oik. I will also be as reasonable in charges 
for my' work as any other person. 

WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter. 

t, New York. 



G 



N. GSNIN, FASHIONABLE HATTER, 214 Broad- 
way, New York. 

BENIN'S LADIES' & CHILDREN'S OUTFITTING 
Bazaar, 513 Broadway, (St Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.) 



PDWABI) 1'HaLON 4 SON, 497 anil 517 Broadway. 
\ J New York— Depots for the sale of Perfumery, and 
every article connected with the Toilet. 

Wc nowilUrodUM the. " BOUQUET D'OGMUTA, or 
Wild Flower of Mexico," which is superior to any thing of 
the kind ia the civilized world. 

KDU'ARD PH.M.ON & SON. 



SAMUEL 



SNEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER.— 
My Office is at No. 31 Corlears street, New Yoik ; and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have built 
Ship's and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a 
lon^ term of years, and continue to do so on reasonable 



SAMUEL SNEDEN. 



R.ar of 21G East Twentieth 



GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND 
Commission Merchants, No. ICG, Wall street, corner of 
Front Btrci t, New York. 



TAMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD — 

t) Twenty-sixth street ana Second Avenue. I always have 
all hinds of coal on hand, and of the very best quality-, which 
I will sell as low as any other coal dealer ta t neLnvted States. 
JAMES DUN£h Ji.Ll«x. 



GOLD PENS.' 



FOLEY'S CELEBRATED " G 
For sale by all Stationers au-t Jewellt 
OFFICE AND STORE, 

IM BROADWAY. 

WW. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 
• 9 Chamber street, near Chatham street, New York. 



1 OIIX 11. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, 718 WATER STREET 
J Mv Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me a call, 
and if I don't please you, I will disdain to charge you for 
what does not entirely satisfy you. JOHN B. WEBB. 



ALANSONT. BRIGGS- 
Moll 



DEALERIN FLOUR BARRELS, 
... .lasses Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks. 
Also, new Hour barrels and half barrels; a large supply 
constantly on hand. Mv Stores are at Nos. G'J, 63, 61, 69, 
13, 75, 77'and 79 Rutger's Slip ; at 235, 287, and 289 Cherry 
street; also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and 
Ruber's Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in 
Williamsburgh are at Furinan & Co 's Dock. My yards In 
New York are at the corner of Water and Gouverneur 
streets; and in Washington street, near Canal ; anil at Le- 
rov Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger's Slip. 
3 ' h ALANSON T. BKIGGS. 



SOLOMON BANTA, Architect, No. 93 Amos 



. New York. I have built as many houses and store 
United States, and I can 



eoLc 

as anv Architect in this city, or the United 

produce voncheri to that effect ; and I Hatter niyselt that I can 

builil edifices that will compare favorably, in point oi beauty 

and durability, with those of any architect in this country. 

am prepared to receive orders in my^line^of 

93 Amos street. New Y uk. 



usiness, at No. 
SOLOMON BANTA. 



FULTON IRON W R K S.-JAME8 MURPHY i CO., 
manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, 
&c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East 

River. 

RaDDICK & flOGAN, SA1LMAKERS, No. 272 South 
. Street, New Yoik. 
Awnings, Tents, and Bags made toorder. 

JESSE A. BRADDIOK, 
RICHARD IIOGAN. 



B 



OBERT ONDERDONK — THIRTEENTH 

Ward Hotel, 403 and 407 Grand street, corner of Clinton 
street, New York. 



R c 



ILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR, & OFFICE 

Furniture Dealer anil Manufacturer, 
No. 289 Broadway, corner of Read street New York. Room 
No! 15. 



w 



FRANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE 
and RETAIL CLOTHING St FURNISHING WARE- 
HOUSE, 70 and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Heater Bttf., 
New York. Large and elegant assortment of Youths' and 

Boy, Clothing. 6 S^UKSt?' 

F R BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense 
Eutablishment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY! An en. 
tire New Stock of GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S and CHIL 
D REN'S CLOTHING, recently manufactured-. by thi 
workmen in the city, is now opened for inapt- 

Buperiox stock of Burnishing goods. 

of the Best Quality, and having been mi 
priais, WILL BE SOLD VERY LOW! 
nartment contains the greatest variety of 
MERES, and VESTINGS. ' 

Mi. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BAR- 
NUM. who ha« had great experience in tlie business, having 
been thirty years connected with the leading Clothing Es- 
tablishments of the city. 



beat 

tiou. Also, a 
All articles are 

■based during the 

The Custom De- 

CLOTHS. CASSI- 



THOMAS A. DUNN, 505 EIGHTH AVENUE, 
bae a very choice assortment of Wines, Brandies, Cor- 
dials and Segars, which he will sell at prices that will yield a 
fair profit. All my democratic, friends, and my immediate as- 
sociates in the Boards of Aldermen and Conncilmen are re- 
spectfully invited to call in their rambles throughEig bth Ave- 
nue and enjoy a good Havana seaar, and nice, sparkling 
champagne, and very exhileratiiig hraudy. For the segars, I 
will charge my political friends and associates only five pence 
each, and for the brandy only ten pence per half gill, ami for 
the champagne only four shillings u glass, or two dollars a bot- 
tle. 

So call, kind friends, and sing a glee. 
And laugh and smoke and drink wiih me, 
Sweet Sangareo 
Till you can't see : 
( Chorun— At your expense 1 

(Which pays my rents,) 
For my fingers do von see 
O'er my nose gyrating free T 

THOMAS A. DUNN, No. 50G Eighth avenue. 



T 

E D. 



RUSSES 

der Braces, Supporter: 
Office, 4 Ann street, u 



ELASTIC STOCKINGS, SHOTJIa- 
Bauda-ses, 5tc. 11. L Parsons, 
der the Museum, 



WILLIAM M. SOMERVILI.E, WHOLESALE AND 
Retail Druggist and Apothecary. 205 Blceckrr st , 
corner Minetta, opposite Cottage Place, New York, Allthe 
popular Patent Medicines, fiesh Swedish Leeches. Cup- 
niii", <£c. Physicians' Prescriptions- accurslely p.epared. 
1 '" VVM. M. bOMEItVII.LE. 



A W. * T.HUME, MERCHANT TAILORS, No. 
1\, 82 Sixth Avenue, New York. We keep a large and 
elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman re- 
qui es. We make Coats, Vests and rants, alter the latest 
Parisian fashions, and on reasonable terms. 

A. W. & T. HUME. 



FASHION HOUSE— JOSEPH HYDE PRO- 
prietor corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, 
and Cigars uf the host brands. He invites his friends to cive 
him a call. Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons. 



WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND 
COUNSELLOR AT LAW, No. 17G Chatham street, 



Any business entrusted to his churjie from 

ity or any part of the country, will receive prompt 

and faithful attention, and be conducted on reasonable t.» nm. 



New York 
zensof thii 



HERLINiVS PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR- 
glar Proof Safe, with Hall's Patent Powder Proot 
I ocks, afford the greases: security of any Safe in the world. 
Also, Sideboard and Pailor Safes, of oiegant workmanship 
and finish, for plate, &c. S. C. HERRING & CO.. 

251 Broadway. 



JAMES MELENFY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAMUEL 
Hopper,) Grocer, and Wholesale and Retail Dealer in 
Pure Country Milk. Teas, Coffee, Sugars & Spices. Flour, 
Bnlter, Lard. Cheese, Eggs &c No. 158, Eighih Avenue, 
Near 18th Street, Ne.w York. Families supplied by leaving 
their address at 'he More. 



J. 



VAN TINE, 

No. 2, Dey strci 



SHANGAE RESTAURANT, 

t. New York. 



COREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S Ex- 
change, Wall street. New York-Notaries Public and Com- 
missioners.— United State's Pas.-porls issued in t!6 hours,— 
Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and Ni.tei protested, — Marine pro- 
tests noted and extended. 
Usui noveuinu EDWIN F. COREY, 

EDWIN F. COREY, Jr. 



EDWIN A. BROriKS, 
Importer and Manufacturer of Boors, Shies & Gaiters, 
Wholesale and Retail, No. 575 Broadway, and 150 Fulton 
Street, New York. 



IlllOT d- SHOE EMPORIUMS. 



riMIE WASHINGTON, By BARTLETT & GATES, 
L No. 1 Brnadwav, New York. Come and sec us, good 
friends, and eat and dink and be merry, in the same capa- 
cious and patriotic halls where the immortal Washington's 
voice and laugh once reverberated. 
O come to our Hotel. 
And \ou'll he treated well. 

BARTLETT & GATES. 



EXCELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 CENTRE ST., IS 
furnished with every facility, latest improved presses, 
and the newest styles of type— for the excution of Book, 
Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens. 



/1HARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, .ESTABLISHED IN 
V> 1808,) Sign of the Golden Horse, S9 Bowery, New York, 
opposite Ihe Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his articles as low- as 
any other Saddler in America, and warrant them to be equal 
to anv In the World. . 



HN Will), STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 
. 451 Broadway, bet. Grand and Howard streets, New 
York My Iceland Moss and Flaxseed Candy will cure 
Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time. 



MC SPEDON AND BAKER'S STATIONERY WARE- 
house and Envelope Manufactory, Nos. 29, 31, and 
33. Beekman Street, New Yolk. 

Envelopks of all patterns, styles, and quality, on hand, 
and made to order for the trade and others, by Steam Ma- 
chinery. Patented April 8lh, 1856. 



COZ'/.ENS' HOTEL COACHES,— STABLE, Nos 34 and 
3b Canal street. New York. 
I will strive hard to please all those generous citizens 
who will kindly favor me with th8ir patronage. 

EDWARD VAN RANST. 



JW. MASON, MANUFACTURER. WHOLESALE and 
, Retail dealers in all kinds of Chairs. Wash Stands, 
Settees 4c. 377 <fc 379 Pearl Street. New York. 

Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping. 



MRS. S. S. BIRD'S LADIES' AND GENTLE- 
men's Dining and OvsUt Soloons, No 31 Canal street, 
near East Broadway, and 204 Division street, New York. 
Oysters Pickled to Order. 



IIENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN Real 
O Estate. Houses and stores and lots lor sale in all 

parts of the city. Ollice at the junction of Broadway, 

Seventh Avenue, and Forty-Sixth Street. 



IT-ULl.MER AND WOOD, CARRIAGE Manufacturers, 
V 239 West 19lh Street, New York. 

Horse shoeing done with despatch, and in the most sci- 
ent.fic manlier, and on reasonable terms. 



JAMES GRIFFITHS, (Late CUATFIELD & GRIFFITHS,) 
No. 278 Grand St., New York. A large stock of well-se- 
lected Cloths, Cassimeres, Vestings, Ac , on hand. Gent's, 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in Die most 
approved style. All cheap for CaslL 



J. 



AGATE & CO., MEN'S FURNISHING GOnDS 
and Shirt Manufacturers, 256 Broadway, New Y'ork 
Shins made to order and guaranteed to fit. 
J. AGATE, F. W. TALKINGTON. 



ElILLIARD TABLES.— PIIELAN'S IMPROVED BIL- 
> Laid TabUsand Combination Cushions— Protected by 
letters patent, da'ed Feb. 19, 1856 : Oct. 28, 1856 ; Dec. 8, 
1857: Jan. 12, 1858. The recent improvements in Hicso 
Tables make them unsurpassed in the world. They are 
now offered to the scientific Billiard players as combining 
speed with truth, never before obtained in any Billiard Table. 
Sales-rooms Nos. 786 and 768 Broadway, New York. Manu- 
factory No. 53 Ann Street. 

O'CONNOR 6c COLLENDOR. Sole Manulactorers. 



O L. OLMSTEAD, IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER 
!?>. and Jobber of Men's Furnishing Couds, No. 24 Bar- 
clay Street, corner of Cnurch, New York. 

/-I B. HATCH, H1LLER * MERSEREAU, Importer* 
Kj> and Jobbers of Men's Furnishing Goods, and Manu- 
facturers of Ihe Golden Hill Shins, 99 Chambers Street, N. 
E. corner Church Street, New York. 



LA ROSENMILLER. DRUGGIST, NO. 172 EIGHTH 
■ Avenue, New York. Cupping ft Leeehtug. Medi- 
cines at all hours. 




AXiXc 



Volume I— No. 13.] 



SATURDAY, JULY 17, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by 

STEPHEN H. BRANCH, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United 

States for the Southern District of New York. 

Life of Stephen H Branch. 

"While Horace Greeley and myself were in 
conversation over our breakfast at the Graham 
House, Goss escorted Fred Douglas and lady 
to the table, who took seats near us. I knew 
not who they were, nor do I know that 
Greeley did, but I think he did. They had 
arrived the previous night, and this was my 
first knowledge that Goss kept colored board- 
ers, -who politely helped them, and took a seat 
beside them, and conversed on their favorite 
theme of anti-slavery. I stared at Goss and 
Fred and lady and at Greeley, who gave me a 
sly glance, and ate his bran mush and molas- 
ses as though nothing unusual was transpiring. 
I finished my mush, and retired, and felt that 
Goss had perpetrated a gross impropriety. 
And although I was then teaching negroes in 
the kitchens of New York, amid slush and 
kettles and frying pans, and thus evinced my 
warm desire to elevate the whole African race, 
yet my feelings were so grossly outraged by 
this unnatural and disgusting amalgamation, 
that I went to Major Mordecah M. Noah, (who 
published a daily evening paper,) and told him 
the whole story, who opened a tremendous 
broadside on Greeley, who dared Noah to re- 
veal the name of his informant, although he 
knew I must be the man. I besought Noah 
not to disclose my name, as I did not desire 
to have a controversy with Greeley about 
Graham bread and Africans. Noah promised 
he would not, but he discharged such caustic 
and unceasing broadsides, and poked so much 
fun at Greeley, for breakfasting with negroes, 
that he again ferociously demanded Noah to 
disclose the name of his cowardly informant. 
I again implored Noah to stand firmly, and 
not to divulge my name. Noah said that he 
did not see how he could avoid it, as Greeley 
had made such a savage demand. But I in- 
duced him, after long and plaintive importu- 
nity, not to expose me, and Noah soon with- 
drew his forces from Africa, and attacked 
Greeley on his native hills of America, on the 
subject of the Tariff and other themes. And 
in their deluge of words and detraction, I did 
not molest Noah, nor any of his descendants, 
save to pawn some of my traps occasionally to 
pay Goss my weekly board. Greeley snarled 
and growled at me for weeks, but he had a 
conciliatory nature, and magnanimously for- 
gave me, and, (as after the quarrels of two 
enthusiastic lovers,) we were better friends 
than ever. I admired the humor and genial 



nature of Major Noah, and I respected the 
transcendental talents of Horace Greeley, but 
I did not wish to be devoured by their gladia- 
torial collisions, although I was the sole origin 
of their editorial combat. Rhode Island was 
now on the verge of civil war. My father 
addressed the first assemblage at the old Town 
j House, in Providence, against the revolution- 
! ary doctrines of Thomas Wilson Dorr, and 
I harangued the friend's of Law and Order in 
various parts of the State. My brother Henry 
came to New York, and told me that my 
father had received letters from the insur- 
gents, warning him to prepare to meet his 
God, and was insulted by ruffians while cross- 
ing Providence bridge, who threatened to de- 
stroy his property, if he did not cease his in- 
flammatory speeches against them, and that 
father defied them, and told them that they 
might burn his houses, but they could not 
burn his land. I went to Providence, and was 
saluted by father in tones of the purest affec- 
tion. I slept at his house, for several nights, 
and joined the City Guards, and my company 
was assigned a position on the west side of the 
bridge, to guard the city from sunset till sun- 
rise. News came that old General Green's 
Kentish Guards, (cherished by Washington,) 
of East Greenwich, commanded by Captain 
Allen, had fired on the insurgents at Paw- 
tucket, five miles from Providence, and killed 
and wounded half a dozen of the rebels, and 
my Company was immediately sent to relieve 
the Kentish Guards. Just prior to entering 
Pawtucket, the Dorr women belched from 
their doors and windows the most disgusting 
ejaculations, and I heard one virago exclaim : 
" An't you a precious gang of soldiers ? You 
look as though Providence had taken a power- 
ful emetic." This was a hard dose, but it 
came from one who bore the form and garb 
of a lady, and we had to swallow it without a 
murmur. Ex-Governor Earle came from 
Pawtucket on the wings of lightning, and told 
us it would be instant death for us to enter 
Pawtucket without more men, but, much to 
my regret, our Captain ordered us to follow 
him into the town, whose streets were crowd- 
ed with desperate outlaws, who were hooting 
and hurling stones and fragments of iron at 
the Kentish Guards, who were literally sur- 
rounded by the mob. "When Captain Allen 
saw our Company approach, he instantly ar- 
rayed us against the insurgents for fatal action, 
and, taking out his watch, told the beligerent 
thousands present, that if they did not dis- 
perse in ten minutes, he would tire upon them. 
I suffered more in these ten minutes, than in 
all my life, because I feared the rascals 



wouldn't go, and we would have to fire at 
them. I had the dyspepsia most horribly, 
and had all my pockets stuffed with chunks 
of Graham bread, for a warrior's rations, and 
was reduced to an utter skeleton, and could 
hardly hold my heavy musket perpendicularly, 
and my bones fairly rattled when the bloody 
words of Captain Allen fell upon my ears. 
I had never fired a gun. but once, and that 
was at a snake at Topsfield, Massachusetts, 
and although the muzzle was within an inch 
of his head, the ball passed int,o the ground, 
and the snake tied before I could reload my 
gun. And yet I feared I might shed human 
blood, and perhaps kill one or more, if Cap- 
tain Allen ordered my Company to fire at the 
DorriUs. And I was very sure I would 
fall like a dead man, from the effect upon my 
dyspeptic nerves of fright and thundering 
noise caused by the simultaneous discharge of 
one hundred muskets. And I actually en- 
vied the rebels who could escape from peril, 
while I could not, as I had a gun, cap, and 
knapsack, and was hemmed in by my com- 
rades. I could not exchange my clothes, and 
wa3 closely watched by the insurgents, and if 
I left the ranks, I might be shot by my own 
companions in arms, and if I escaped their 
fire, the insurgents themselves might instantly 
dispatch me. The fatal ten minutes had nearly 
expired, and I supposed my time had come, 
as I felt sure if we fired, that two thousand 
ruffians would rush upon us, and hack us to 
bleeding fragments. 1 looked up to the bril- 
liant stars, but with all their cheerfulness and 
fascination, I feared to have my soul approach 
their glittering realms. I looked down upon 
the green earth, and I desired not an eternal 
abode for my butchered carcase below its 
fragrant surface. To kill a man I thought 
would be horrible, and forever cause unpleas- 
ant dreams. But' to be killed myself, by the 
enemy, seemed still more horrible. And I 
resolved to put nothing but powder in my 
gun, so that I could not kill or wound th« 
Dorrites. I regretted that I could not slyly 
tell them of my humane resolves, so that they 
could evince similar clemency towards me, 
when we came together hand to hand, and 
foot to foot, and nails to nails, and nose to 
nose, and belly to belly, and teeth to teeth. 
The ten minutes elapsed, and the rebels re- 
mained and yelled and stoned and defied us. 
Captain Allen passed along the line, and told 
us we had got bloody work before us, and be- 
sought us to be firm, and reload our muskets 
quickly, and fire at the hearts of our adver- 
saries, and we would conquer them, although 
they numbered thousands, and we only hun- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



dreds. I came near falling at this intelligc; . 
and leaned very heavily against, the soldi, s 
on either side of me, who threatened to Bho t 
me if I didn't stand straighter, which straigh - 
ened me mighty quick. Captain Allen sp< 
of American patriotism, and our duty to aOt 
native State, and to the United States, and of 
the valor of Green and Perry, hut I scarcely 
heard what he said, as my terrified mind was 
contemplating the horrors of an instant upd 
Woody doom, and my gloomy prospects be- 
yond the grave. Captain Allen takes out Us 
watch, and draws his sword, and I look to- 
wards Heaven, and engage in a most solemn 
silent prayer, as I now expect to die in about 
five minutes. 

(To be continued to my last gun.) 

A Primary Election at Peter Cooppr's 
Funny Little Grocery -Groggery, at the 
oorner of the Bowery and Stuyversant 
Street, in 1820. 

HALF AN HOUK BEFORE DAYLIGHT. 

Peter— "Well, Jack, where are all the boys 
you promised me? 

Jack — They are asleep in the market. 

Peter — Zounds ! Jack ! Arouse thein, or we 
are lost. 

Jack — They have one eye open, and the 
gilded stuff will soon open the other. 

Peter — Jack, what do you mean ? Have I 
not kept open house for three days and nights, 
and swilled yourself and comrades with liquor 
for a week, and haven't you all been drunk at 
my expense for several days ? By Jupiter 1 
Jack! you won't desert me, after drinking so 
much of my best rum, will you ? 

Jack — The boys won't expose their eyes and 
nose, and teeth and skulls, and bellies to the 
sharp claws and big fists, and stones and clubs 
of your political adversaries, without some 
money in advance, to tickle the palms of the 
surgeon and nurses at the Hospital. For doc- 
tors and nurses won't trust the poi 
know, and especially the boys who get their 
skulls cracked at the primary elections. 

Peter — Well, Jack, tell the boys that I will 
fill them with good rum until the primary 
election is over, and then, if I am victorious in 
the Nominating Convention, I'll reward them 
liberally with money. 

Jack— (With his fingers whirling like a 
windmill over his nose) — The boys an't so 
green as to trust the politicians until they have 
fought their bloody sieges, and elected them 
to offices where they can steal fortunes from 
the people, including many a chunk of choice 
grub from our own mouths. No, no, Peter. 
It won't do. Down with the cash, and all 
will go well. 

Peter — Have I not often got yourself and 
friends out of the Watch House ? 

Jack — And have we not long bought your 
grog, although you adulterated it more than 
other liquor dealers? And have we not fought 
your public battles, and exposed ourselves to 
imprisonment, and periled our lives to give 
you political influence to liberate us from the 
Watch House, when we got into a bad scrape 
on your account? 

Peter — You lie, yon thief and drunken vag- 
abond, if you say I adulterated my liquor more 
than other mm sellers. 

Jack — Have a care, Peter, have a care, for 
did I not catch yon in the very act of pouring 
water by the pailfull into a ruin hogshead last 
week, that was only about half full of spurious 
alcohol, when yon began to adulterate it ? 

Peter — I was afraid the boys would drink 
so much, that they would not be sober enough 
to whip my political enemies to-day, if I did 
not adulterate my pure and strong rum, which 
came from Jamaica only last week. 

Jack — That will do, Peter — that will do, for 
you always could tell a smoother and bigger 
lie than me, and I give it up. 



Peter — Come, come, Jack — this won't do. 
The sun will soon be climbing the eastern hills, 
and there's no time to be lost. What's to be 
done? 

Jaek — Fork over, Peter, and we'll die, if 
necessary, in our effort to .stuff the ballot 
boxes, and keep them stuffed all day, and drive 
your foes from the polls, and seize the boxes 
at sunset, and count the votes in favor of your 
delegates to the Convention. 

Peter — Will you be true? 

Jack — As money to the poor man. 

Peter — Then awake the boys, and let them 
all come quickly, and get some stuff. 

Jack (Scampers to the market) — Get up, 
you lazy drunken thieves, and run for your 
lives to Peter Cooper's, and get some precious 
stuff. (They all spring from the butcher 
stalls, and run like bloodhounds for Peter's 
groggery.) 

Jack — Here we are, Peter. 

Peter — So I perceive. (They all slyly smile 
and wink, and screw their expressive mouths.) 

Jack — Shall I help the boys to some grog, 
Peter, while you are counting out our primary 
wages ? 

Peter — O yes, but don't give them too stiff a 
horn, Jack, as 1 fear they will all get dead 
drunk before sundown, and then I'll surely be 
defeated, as the hardest fighting will be after 
the poles are closed. So, boys, please drink 
moderately until the election is over, and fight 
like bull dogs till the result is declared, and 
then, if I am the conqueror, you can all get 
drunk on my toddy for a week or month. 

Jack — That's the talk. Them's our views, 
an't they, boys? 

All (drinking) — Well — they are. 

Peter — There, Jack, there's your share, and 
now you divide the balance among your honest 
and noble companions. 

Jack — Boys — do you hear the compliments 
of our candidate? 

All — Well — we do, and he is a man of his 
;w ','. tfni #eTl put bin 1 tl ifvtgh. 

Jack — (Putting all the money in his pocket) 
— Scissors! boys! Look down the Bowery ! 
There come, on the full jump, about forty 
bullies with Ned, the murderer, at their head, 
screaming and beckoning his bloody gang to 
follow him. 

Peter — God! Stand by me, friends, or 
I'll be murdered before the polls open. For 
Ned threatened to kill me yesterday, if I didn't 
withdraw my name as a candidate. So, don't 
let him and his desperate band murder me. 
For I'm sure they will, if you abandon me. 
O dear ! Do stand by me, brave young gen- 
tlemen ! Won't you? Please do? (He be- 
gins to cry.) 

Jack — Here they come, and they are armed 
with clubs, knives and pistols. 

Peter— Lordy! (And he crawls under 
the counter, and gets behind a rum cask, and 
is as quiet as a young rat.) 

Ned (bursting through the door, and his 
cronies smashing the windows) — I understand 
you stuffed the ballot-box last night for Peter 
Cooper, and intend to carry the election to- 
day, by spurious ballots already deposited. 

Jack — You are a liar. (They close, and 
Ned throws Jack, and mauls him awfully.) 

Ned — Go in, boys, and give no quarter, 
and drag Peter Cooper from behind the rum 
cask, under the bar, and give him a dreadful 
flogging, for not withdrawing in favor of my 
candidate. 

Peter — O spare me, Ned, spare me, and I'll 
withdraw from the field. 

Ned — Shut up, Snarlyow. Give it to him, 
boys, and knock his teeth down his throat, 
and make his nose as red as his crimes, and 
his eyes as black as his heart. Hit him again, 
and avenge his robbery of his poor old Aunt. 

Peter — O spare me, kind gentlemen, and I'll 
give you all tho rum I've got in the bar, and 
down cellar, too. 



Ned — Close your jaws, Shylock. Your time 
is come. (Jack now,rallies, and a bloody col- 
lision ensues, and two are stabbed, and one 
shot, and Peter is terribly beaten, and thrown 
into the cellar, ] ut soon crawls up stairs, and 
Peter's friends fly for their lives.) 

Peter — (sitting on a ram cask, with his nos- 
trils blocked with coagulated blood, and his 
face mashed to a jelly, and Ned and his bullies 
drinking, laughing, singing, and dancing) — O 
dear me, I wish somebody would come and 
relievo me from the clutches of these awful 
men. 

Ned — (throwing a glass of rum in the face 
of Peter) — No impudence, Peter. Another 
insolent word, and I'll skin you. (The Police 
now rush in. and, after a bloody struggle, ar- 
rest Ned and all his followers, and drag them 
to prison.) 

(To be continued.) 



SitjilUK f. iraiufc's ^Uiptffr. 

NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JULY 17, 1868. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S "ALLIGATOR" CAN BE 
obtained at all hours, at wholesale and retail, at No. 114 Nas- 
sau Street, (Second Story), near Ann Street, New York. 

A Precious Fossil. 

Mayor Tiemanii's trickery and treachery to 
the Americans thoroughly exposed. 

The following Card was placed in every 
house and store and workshop in 1843, by 
direction of Daniel F. Tiemann, and was pub- 
lished in all the newspapers of that memo- 
rable period : 

"TO THE VOTERS IN THIS HOUSE. 
The inclosed Ticket is presented by the 
American Republican Party, for your suffrage 
— it is composed exclusively of Americans 
who have withdrawn from the great contend- 
ing parties of the day, for the sake of the 
ooi trj ..id ;:.-• institutions; their character 
anil standing in the community is well known 
to be unexceptionable and highly honorable ; 
they have pledged themselves, if elected, to 
support and carry out the principles of this 
party, which are as follows, viz : — 

1st. We maintain that tho Naturalization 
Laws should be so altered as to require of all 
Foreigners who may hereafter arrive in this 
Country, a residence of twenty-one years, be- 
fore granting them the privilege of the Elec- 
tive Franchise ; but at the same time, we dis- 
tinctly declare, that it is not our intention to 
interfere with the vested rights of any citizen, 
or lay any obstruction in the way of Foreign- 
ers obtaining alivlihood or acquiring prop- 
erty in this country ; but on the contrary, 
we would grant them the right to purchase, 
hold and transfer property, aud to enjoy and 
participate in all the benefits of our country, 
(except that of votng and holding office,) as 
soon as they declare their intentions to be- 
come citizens. 

2d. We advocate the repeal of the present 
Common School Law, and the re-establish- 
ment of the Law, known as the Public School 
Law. 

3d. We maintain that the Bible, without 
note or comment, is not sectarian — that it is 
the fountain-head of morality and all good 
government, and should be used in our Pub- 
lic Schools as a reading Book. 

4th. We are opposed to a union of Church 
and State in any and every form. 

5th. We hold that native Americans, only, 
should bo appointed to office, to legislate, ad. 
minister, or execute the Laws of their own 
country. 

These are our principles — if yon like them, 
we ask your support, for the enclosed Ticket. 
We believe the time has come when we ma}', 
with truth, exclaim, "Delay is dangerous." 
The above principles aim at Kchtintf evih, 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALL1GATOK. 



3 



which have grown to such enormity as to 
threaten seriously our dearest and most sacred 
rights. We have waited loug aud anxiously 
for some movement from among other parties 
to check these evils, and we have waited in 
vain. The only hope that remains, is for 
Americans to organize a new party, to com- 
bat and counteract them. This we have done. 
The Presidential question we have nothing to 
do with. — We invite you to our Standard : it 
is raised in the cause of Civil and Religious 
Liberty, and no true American can tight 
against it. It is the same Banner that was 
raised by Americans in '76. 

DANIEL F. TIEMANN, President. 

J. B. Dennis, Secretary. 

New York, November 1, 1843." 

This will do pretty well for a man whose 
father is a Holland Dutchman, and cannot now 
speak the American language so as to be easily 
understood, — who is appointing the ejected 
garroters of European Capitals, to, the most lu- 
crative and honorable positions, while poor and 
honest and intelligent Americans (for whom 
he professed such boundless love in 1S43,) 
are haughtily denied the humblest appoint- 
ments in his gift, — who has toiled with sleep- 
less vigilance, — since his recent election as 
Mayor by the Americans, — to reinstate the 
odious George W. Matsell, and who has, after 
an arduous struggle, succeeded in effecting the 
reappointment of Captain Leonard, a Canadian, 
and of Captain Dowling, an Irishman, (both 
of whose naturalization papers I would like to 
see, or the man who has seen them,) who 
were smuggled back to their old quarters by 
Cooper, Gerard, Tiemann, Bowen, and Strana- 
ham, to cut the throat of Seward, and to dif- 
fuse poison through the Police Department, 
and to re-create the perjured carcase of Mat- 
sell on the ruins of Tallmadge and Win. Curtis 
Noyes, his noble son-in-law. Tiemann as- 
pires to the honors of a Governor, and himself 
and his brother Edward Cooper, (the Street 
Commissioner, and the own son of Peter 
Cooper,) are appointing all the ruffians of 
both hemispheres to office, to effect the nomi- 
nation and election of Tiemann as Governor 
of the Empire State. But Peter, and Daniel, 
and Edward will be foiled. No man can at- 
tain the distinguished honors of America, who 
prostitutes his own integrity and that of his 
fellow citizens, to effect his ungodly designs. 
Aaron Burr and other ambitions rogues tried 
that experiment, and they were resisted and 
foiled by the God who loves and protects our 
beloved America, and they went down to 
ignominious graves, whose ashes will beloathed 
and tra i pled by a thousand generations. 
Mayor Tiemann is a ninny and a hypocrite — 
has basely disowned his native Holland skies 
— has never been naturalized — bamboozled the 
Americans in 1843 and 1857 — loves neither 
American nor foreigner, nor his God — but 
adores himself and Peter Cooper, and fears 
George W. Matsell and his Matron Mistress 
on Randall's Island, whom he forced and 
nearly strangled, while he committed a deed 
of hell, in the violation of her person, for 
which, in any city of Europe, he would be 
dragged to a dungeon or the block, and per- 
haps torn to pieces in the market place, by 
the indignant and phrensied populace. 

Editorial Career of James Gordon 
Bennett. 

john kelly's home. 
Enter John in tears. 
John's Mother — Well, dear Johnny, why do 
yon cry so hard ? Where on earth did you 
come from? Have you been fighting, and did 
you act the coward, and get whipped, and run 
home? Speak, my darling boy, and speak 
quickly, so that your dear mother can sympa- 
thise with yon. 



John — (still crying) — Dear mother, my 
heart is so full of woe, that I cannot speak. 

Mother — (begins to cry) — O, God ! I fear 
something awful has happened to my adored 
son, and that he is -injured internally, and 
will soon die. (Falls on her knees, aud clasps 
her hands, and wails in piteous tones, and 
implores God to spare her son.) 

John — (seizing her)— Don't cry. dear mother, 
my heart, not my form, is bruised. 

Mother — And who bruised your big heart? 
Did a ruffian throw a stone, or kick you, or 
strike your heart with his fist ? O tell me 
quickly, so that I can fell him to the earth. 

John — Neither, good mother, neither. I 
spoke figuratively, when I said my heart was 
bruised. 

Mother — And an't figures facts ? How 
strangely you talk, dear Johnny. Did not 
your old mother go to school, and did she not 
cipher as far as Distraction? And when you 
say your poor heart is bruised figuratively, 
you talk from the Rule of Distraction, don't 
you ? Mr. Daboll used to say so, before you 
was born. Go to, my son, go to, for your old 
mother is not so far distracted as not to under- 
stand figures as far as Distraction. 

Father (just emerging from a profound nap) 
— What is'all this row about? 

Mother — Some rowdy has bruised Johnny's 
heart. 

Father — Where is my hat ? I'll pursue the 
rascal. 

John— Hold, father, hold, and you, mother, 
please calm your nerves, and listen to my 
brief but plaintive story. 

Father — Go on, dear son. 

Mother — And we will judge impartially. 

John — I have left Mr. Bennett. 

Mother — Good Lord ! For what? 

John — Because he wanted me to tell lies. 

Mother— (falling)— God! O God! We 
are hungry and nearly naked, and may soon 
be houseless, but thou hast blessed us with an 
honest boy, which is a far more precious boon 
thai food and raiment and shelter. (And she 
utters a long and fervent and grateful prayer to 
God, for the unwavering integrity of her be- 
loved son, while Johnny and his father weep 
alovid on their bended knees.) 

Father (the distracted mother still prostrate 
on the floor) — John : Did Mr. Bennett pay you 
what he owed you? 

John — He offered to, but I would not take 
it. 

Father— Why ? 

John — Because I thought he got it dis- 
honestly, as he wanted me to tell lies. 

Father — My landlord was here to day, and 
I told him I expected some money from Mr. 
Bennett for your services, and he will be here 
this evening, for his rent, and I fear he will 
turn us into the street, when I tell him that I 
cannot pay him. 

John — I am very sorry, father, that you 
will be cast into the street, on my account. 
(The father weeps, and the mother springs to 
her feet, and kisses Johnny, and swears that 
if the landlord attempts to drive them into the 
open air, she will dash his brains out.) 

John (putting on his hat, and with one hand 
on the latch) — Don't cry, dear father and 
mother, nor he excited and unhappy in my 
brief absence. 

Mother — Where are you going, Johnny? 

John — I am going round to the fire engine 
house, to see a noble young fireman, who is 
a warm friend of mine, and whose father is 
very rich, and I am sure he will cry when I 
tell him that my poor old father and mother 
are sick and hungry, and are about to be 
thrust into the street. 

Mother (on the verge of despair) — Tell him 
our mournful story, Johnny, but do not beg. 
No, my Johnny, for God's sake, don't beg. 
Let us all die before wo implore alms. Your 



mother is too proud to have her son descend 
to chat. Don't beg, Johnny, don't beg, I im- 
plore you. It is my last prayer to my dear son. 

John — I could not beg, mother. I would 
die before I would thus degrade myself and 
noble parents, who have seen fairer days than 
these. Besides, my friend is humane, and so 
are his parents, and I am sure I will not have 
to beg him to relieve us." It will be sufficient 
for him to learn of our destitution, and that 
we became utterly poor, because I would not 
tell lies for James Gordon Bennett. 

Father — Go, my son, to your young fireman 
friend, and tell your story in your own way. 
I'm sure you will never degrade your father 
and mother, after your refusal to lie for Mr. 
Bennett. 

Mother — Go, Johnny, and soon return to 
your distracted parents, aud let them know 
their fate. 

John (kissing his mother, and warmly press- 
ing bis father's hand) — Good bye, father and 
mother, and I'll soon bring you pleasing news, 
and a deliverance from abject penury. (He 
goes ) 

Eren ing — Enter Landlord. 

Landlord — Well, Mr. Kelly, have you got 
my rent? 

. Mr. Kelly — No, sir. My son has left Mr. 
Bennett, because he wanted him to tell lies. 

Landlord — For what? 

Mr. Kelly — Because he wanted him to lie. 

Landlord — What a fool your son must be. 

Mrs. Kelly — Don't you call my son a fool, 
sir. God loved George Washington because 
he would not lie, and made him the Liberator 
of his country. 

Landlord — That's all gammon. Washing- 
ton was an old Federalist, and an old knave 
aud fool, and could swear and lie as hard as a 
delinquent tenant. 

Mrs. Kelly (throws the tea pot, full of 
scalding water, at his head) — Take that, you 
miserable old tory and miser. (The landlord 
rushes upon Mrs. Kelly, when Mr. Kelly, for- 
getting Ins rheumatic leg, flies at him like a 
tiger, and while they grapple, and level their 
deadly blows, with Mrs. Kelly pouring hot 
water down the neck and back of the land- 
lord — in comes John, and his young fireman 
friend, who both seize the landlord, and hurl 
him down stairs, and kick him into the street, 
amid the frantic yells of all the neighbors. 
John then introduces the young New York 
Fireman to his father and mother, who re- 
ceive him with courtesy and fervor.) 
(To be continued.) 

Fools. 

Bennett and Hudson (through their influ- 
ence with the wholesale news dealers,) sup- 
posed they could check the circulation of the 
" Alligator," among the honest masses, who 
have been kicked and cuffed and sold by the 
Bennett's, and Greeley's, aud Raymond's, 
since the immortal Pudding Dinner of Benja- 
min Franklin, to the wicked aristocracy and 
tories of Philadelphia, who threatened to crush 
Franklin's bold and independent Journal, but 
who got egregiously mistaken. Stop my 
"Alligator!" Eh? You could as easily 
dam the thundering torrents of Niagara, that 
have sublimely rolled into their rocky beds 
for nnnumbered ages. Withhold my "Alli- 
gator" from the glad embraces of the intelli- 
gent and industrial classes ! Lh ? First strive 
to roll back the Father of Waters to its sour- 
ces in the mountain wilderness, or beat back 
the God of Day, or stop the Revolutions of 
the Globe! Stop my "Alligator!" Eh? 
Fools, fools, fools ! 

I have received the first number of " Tlie 
Fact" whose editors are Win. B. Smith and 
D. A. Oasserley. It is about the size of the 
" Alligator," and full of interesting matter. 
I hope it will be liberally patronised. 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit— From two to four seconds, or as long as the Ad- 
Tertiser can hold his breath I Letters and Advertisements to 
be left at No. 114 Nassau street, second story, front room. 



gTEPHENILBRANCH'SALLIGATQR. 



IS 



OTIOE TO FARMERS AND MARKET 

OARnENER.S_--C.TV Inspectors Departm^t 
New York, June lb, 1858._Iu conformity with the followiS 
resolution, the space therein mentioned will be permitted to 
be usedaa a place, by farmers ami gardeners, for thi .. 1. ,.( 
vegetables and garden produce, until the hour of IS o'clock 

M., daily— the use to be free of chare, 

Resolved That permission he. and is hereby, given to farm- 
ers and market rardenera, to occupy daily, until 12 M., free of 
charge the vacant space of the northern and southern extrem- 
ities of the intersection of Broadway and Sixth avenue I 
tween Tbtoy-seoond and Tnirty.fi fth streets wiftouftofri^ 

,ug upon the streets which the ssi.i space intersects, "' rthe 

purposeoulyoi selling vegetables and market produoe oftheir 

sTto " ° r eUS ' lm ' V ' r """' "'t"-i vision of the Citj In- 
Also, by resolution of the Common Council, The use of 

S.TS V 1 ™'" 1 to farmers and gardener, for th 
sale ot produce from wagons. 

9£?™£; MORTON, Citv Inspector. 
JOSEPH CANNING, Sup't of Markets 



Q & J. W. BARKER, GENERAL AUC- 

Oe T10MEERS i REAI, ESTATE BROKERS. Loans 
negotiated, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds 
Sold at Auction or Private Sslo. 

Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses 
Office, 14 Pine street, under Commonwealth Bank. 



CARLTON HOUSE, 496 BROADWAY, NEW 
York. Bates and Holder}, Proprietors. 

THEOPHILUS BATES. 
OREL J. HOLDEN. 



PRIMMING MANUFACTURERS. 

*- YATES 4 CO , 639 Broadwav, Now York. 
Fringes, Cords, Tassels, Loops, Gimps, 
and Gimp Bands, 



-B. S. 



NOTICE— TO PERSONS KEEPING SWINE 
OWNERS OF PROPERTY WHERE THE SIMP 
MAY BE KEPT, AND ALL OTHERS QTOERESTED At 
a meeting of the Mayor and Commissioners of Health i 'held 

ibm e „ ci V'n JaU uf Uw a S "' ? ew v '" k > Fridky. WiBth, 

18J8 the following preamble and resolutions were adopted • 

H hercas, A large number of swine are kept in varibus por- 
tions of the city ; and whereas, it is the geSeral practice of 
person, so keeping swine, to boil offal and kitchen ret,,.-,, and 
garbage, whereby a highly offensive and dangerous nuisance 
is created, therefore, be it 

Resolved, That this Board, of the Mayor and Commission- 
era of Health, deeming swine kept south of (86th) street, iu 
Sr I,'' nwrt™ l{ a ''.usance and detrimental to the 
public health therefore, the City Inspector be, aud he is here- 
by, authorized and directed to take, seize, and remove from 
any and all places and premises, all and every swine found or 
kept on any premises in anyplace in the city of New York 
southerly of said street, ani to cause all such swine to be re- 
moved to the Public Pound, or other suitable place bey ,nd the 
limits of the. city or northerly of said street, and to cause all 
premises or places wherein, or on which, said swine may 
have been so found or kept, to be thoroughly cleaned aud puri- 
fied as the City Inspector shall deem necessary to secure the 
preservation ,.t the public health, and that all expellee, hi 
enrred hereby constitute a lien on the lot. lots or premises 
lilV'l A "on '",Y""r' »' 1 ? 11 1»™ been abated or removed 
Resolved That the foregoing resolution, shall take effect 
from and after the hrst day of July next, and that public no- 
tice be given of the same by publication in the Corporation 
papers to that date, and that notice may be given to peraom 
keeping swine by circulars delivered on the premised, and 
that all violations of this order be prosecuted by the proper 
officers" ' Ut '"' 0U com P laint from the Cdty Inspector or nil 
City Inspector's Department ) 
.„ , . . New York, June 18, 1858. S 
All persons keeping swine, or upon whose property or prem- 
ise, the same may be kept, are hereby notified that the above 
day ofJ°uT e t y cnfurced fr °™ and after the first 
GEO. W. MORTON, City Inspector. 



\jy~M. COULTER, Carpenter.— I have Ions' 

T T been encaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who 
will tavor me with their patronage, that I will build as good 
houses, or anything else in lay line, as any other car.., ute, ,„ 
the city of New 1 ork. I will also be as reasonable in charges 
tor my work as auy other person. 

WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter 
Rear of 216 EaBt Twentieth street, New York. 

GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION~AND 

J-A Commission Merchants, No. 106, Wall street, corner of 
rront street, New York. 



N. GEN1N, FASHIONABLE HATTER, 214 Broad", 
way. New York. 



lENIN'S LADIES' 4 CHILDREN'S OUTFITTING 
' Bazaar, 513 Broadway. (St Nicholae Hotel, N. Y.) 



I^DWARD PHaLON 4 SON, 497 and 517 Broadway, 
-Lj New York— Depots for the sale of Perfumery, and 
every article connected with the Toilet 

Wo n.w introduce the "BOUQUET D'OGARITA, or 
Wild Flower of Mexico," which is superior lo any thing of 
the kind in the civilized world. " 
EDWARD PIIALON 4 SON. 



[AMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD - 

Twenty-sixth street and Second Avenue. I always h'av 



„u i • i e J i -..-" -.- »,wuu ii,ciiiir, i aiwavs nave 

ds of coal on hand, and of the very best quality' which 
'»- coal dealer in the Unite's States. 



I willaell as low as auv othc 



JAMES DONNELLY'. 



TROLLY'S CELEBRATED " GOLD PENS" 

For sale by all Stationers and Jewellers 
OFFICE AND STORE. 

163 BROADWAY. 



CJAMDEL SNEDEN, SHIP A STEAMBOAT BUILDER — 
kJ My Office is at No. 81 Corlears street, New York ■ and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have built 
Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a 
one; term of years, and continue to do so on reasonable 
SAMUEL SNEDEN 



T OHN B. W EBB, BOAT BUILDER, 71S WATER BTRKET 
O My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me a call 
and if I don't please you, I will disdain to charge vou for 
what docs not entirely salisfv you. JOHN B. WEBB 



w, 



W. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 

9 Chamber street, Dear Chatham street, New York. ' 



COLOMON BANTA, Architect. No. 93 Amos 

KJ street, New York. I have built as many homes and stores 
as any Architect in this city, or the United States, and 1 can 
£!i«d" l 'S-«" U l:1 J, r ' '° .'hat etlect ; and I flatter myself that I can 
build edifices that will compare favorably, iu point of beauty 
and durability, with those of any architect in this country I 
am prepared to receive orders in my line ofbnsineu at No 
SJAmos street. New York. SOLOMON BANTA 



"ROBERT ONDERDONK — THIRTEENTH 

7" . ^ ard P"V ''• ' 105 anJ 4U7 ° rand street > ^°rucr of Clinton 
btreet, New lurk. 



A L ,.^ S0N T ' BMOGS-DEALER IN FLOUR BARRELS, 
f, 1 Molasses Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks 
Also, new flour barrels and half barrels ; a large supply 
constantly on hand. My Stores are at Nos. 62, 68, 6L 69 
78, 75, 77 and .9 Rutger's Slip ; at 285, 287, and 289 Cherry 
street ; also, ,n South and Water streets, between Pike and 
Rutger 3 Slip extending from street to street. Mv yards in 
Williamsburgh are at Furman 4 Co 's Dock. My yards In 
New York are at the corner of Water and Gou'verneur 
streets; and in Washington street, near Canal ; and at Le- 
roy Place. My general Office is at 61 Rutger's Slip. 
ALANSON T. BRIGG8. 

FULTON IRON WORKS.-JAMES MURPHY 4 CO 
manufacturers of Marine and Land Emrines, Boilers' 
*c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East 
River. ' ~ M * 



F EA ?r£l S B ' BALDWIN, WHOLESALE 

HOUSF ? ,f TA l^ S L0TH l NO * FURNISHING WARE- 
HOUSE. 70 and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester sts 
2 ,?.',.,■• eB and " e Eaut assortment of Youths' and 

Boy.' Clothing. F.B.BALDWIN 

,,,,.,,„„,„, ,, JG.BARNUM.' 

*•».■ BALDWIN has just opened his New and ImmenBe 
Establishment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY' A " 

DREN'S cr r)T°Hl'i?,. NTLEM , EN ' S ' Y °UTH'S an"d CHIL- 
DREN S CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best 
workmen in the city, is now opened for inspection Also a 
superior stock of FURNISHING GOODS. Al artick- are 
of . t . he ,?, e »'Q | I^'y,. »nd having been purchased durin- the 
crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERY LOW! The Custom 1), 

Ceres' SaraTO^a*"' vari ' ,ty of 0LOTHS ' CASSI ' 

w?£ BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BAR- 

NUM who has had great eiperience iu the business, bavins 
been thirty years connected with the leading Clothing E». 
tablishments of the city. * 

THOMAS A. DUNN, 5U(i EIGHTH AVENUE 
has a very choice assortment of Wines, Brandies Cor! 
dials, and began, which he will sell at prices that will yield a 
fair proht. All my democratic friends, aud my immediate as- 
sociates m the. Boards of Aldermen and Councilmcn are re- 
spectfully invited to call in their rambles througliEig nth Ave- 
nue, and enjoy a good Havana segar, and nice, sparklm- 
champagne, and very exhilerating brandy. For the segar. 1 
will charge my political tnenris and associates only nvc'pence 
each, and for the brandy only ten pence per half gill, aid for 
the cnampagno only four •hillings a glass, or two dollars a bo" 

So call, kind friends, and sing a glee, 
And laugh and smoke and drink wii'h me, 
Sweet Sangaree 
Till you can't see : 
( Chorua — At your expense ! 

(Which pays my rents,) 
>or my fingers do you see 
O'er my nose gyrating free 7 
THOMAS A. DUNN, No. 506 Eighth avenue . 

J \m TINE, SHANGAE RESTAURANT, 

** * No. 2. Dey Btreet, New York. ' 



WILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR, & OFFICE 
F urnituro Dealer and Manufacturer 
No 15° Broa<lwa >'' CUTn,!I 0{ nt ' a ' 1 strtet New York. Room 



TRUSSES, ELASTIC STOCKINGS, SHOUL- 

,, n d r',« Bra ', <, "v Supporters, Bandages, &c. H. L. Parsons, 
U D. Office, 4 Aun street, under the Museum. 



"T^ASHION HOUSE.-JOSEPH HYDE PRO- 

X pnetor corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, 
and Cigars of the best brands. He invites his friends to give 
mm a call. I rompt and courteous attention given his patrons 



BRADDICK 4 HOGAN, SA1LMAKEHS, No. S72 South 
Street, New Yoik. 
Awnings, Tents, and Bags made to order. 

JESSE A BHADDIOK, 
RICHARD HOGAN. 

\yil-LlAM M. SOMERVIL1.E, WHOLESALE AND 
»» Retail Druggist and Apothecary. 2U5 Blcecker St 
corner Mmetta, opposite Cottage Place, New York Ail the 
popular Patent Medicines, ftesh Swedish Leeches Cup- 
ping, 4c. Physicians' Prescriptions accurately prepared 
VVM. M. SOMEKVILLE 



A *5,*'£HUME, JIERCH4MI TAILORS. No. 
-CI. 82 Sixth Avenue. New York. We keep a large and 
elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman re- 
oui.es. W e make Coats, Vests and Pants, after the latest 
Parisian fashions, and on reasonable terms. 
A. W. & T. HUME. 



WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND 
v COUNSELLOR AT LAW, No. 176 Chatham street, 
New York. Any business entrusted to his charge from citi- 
zensof this city or any part of the country, will receive prompt 
and faithful attention, and bo conducted on reasonable terms 

WILLIAM A. CONKLIN. 

IT ERHINfi'S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR- 
i , gla J f f00f s af«, with Hall's Patent Powder Proof 
1 ocks, afford the greatest security of any Safe iu the world 
Also Sideboard and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmaushin 
and finish, for plate, ic. S. C. HERRING 4 CO., 

251 Broadway 



T H 5 WASHINGTON, By BARTLETT 4 GATES 

1 No. 1 Broadway, New York. Come and see ua. good 

friends, and eat and d.ink and bo merry, in the same capa- 

ctous and patriotic halls where the immortal Washington's 

voice and laugh once reverberated. «»mugion a 

O come to our Hotel, 

And you'll be treated well. 

BARTLETT 4 GATES. 



tV\0ELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 CENTRE ST 18 
J-j furnished with every facility, latest improved presses, 
and the newest styles of type-for the excution of Book 
Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens 



TAMES MELENFY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAMUEL 
O Hopper,) Grocer, and Wholesale and Retail Dealer m 
Pure Country Milk. Teas, Coffee, Sugars 4 Spices. Flour 
Bntter , Lard. Cheese, Eggs 4c No. 158, Eighth Avenue 
Near 18th Street, I«ew York. Families supplied by leaving 
their address al Hie Store. * 



/1HARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, .ESTABLISHED IV 
V> 1S0S.I Sign of the Golden Horse, 89 Bowery, New York 
opposite the Theatre Mr. F. will sell his article, as low as 

"Ltinth" World. AmenCa ' aDd WarrMt th6m '° be e « Usl 



|)OOT A. SHOE EMPORIUMS. EDWIN A. BROnKS 
,"TTu 1 ,n, P° rt<!r 3nd Manufacturer of Boots, Shoes 4 Gaiters' 
\\ holesale and Retail, No. 575 Broadway, and 150 Fulton 
Street, New York. 



TV1CSPEDON AND BAKER'S STATIONERY WARE- 
™ d f° U8e ?' ,d Envel °P 6 Manufactory, Nos. 29, 31 and 
33. Beekman Street, New York. ' - 

.n5 NV V ,0 . ?tS °1 a 'i P a,lerns ' »'yl«. and quality, on hand, 
and made to order for the trade and others, by Steam Ma 
chinery. Patented April 8ih, 1856. ' 



IT N WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 
v„eJ ^1 r° a ^ W y\. bet ' Grand and Howard streets, New 
loik My Iceland Moss and Flaxseed Candy will cure 
Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time. 



T A ,? 1E f,?3. tIFFITHS ' < Late CHATFIELD A GRIFFITHS I 

lected°r, 7 ^'' r d 8 , t '' N " ? ;° rk ' A ^ e 8tock of weiLse- 
lected Cloths, Casslmeres, Vestings, Ac , on hand. Gent's 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in the most' 
approved style. All cheap for Cash. 



T A °a A 1B 'H, CO " MEN ' S FURNISHING GOODS 
O > and Shirt Mannfacturers, 256 Broadway, New York 
, . „ . ™ s made tJ oruor and guaranteed to fit. 
J. AGATE, F. W. TALK1NGTON. 



rOMENS'HOraLCOACHE8,-STABLE, Nos 34 and 
v> 36 Canal street. New York. 

J wil .' 6 '"" h a rd to Please all those generous citizens 
«ho will kindly favor me with their patronage 

EDWARD VAN RANST. 



r<OREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S EX- 

V^ change, \\ all street, New York.-Notaries Public and Com- 
missioners -United State's Passports issued in 36 hours - 
Bill, of Exchange, Drafts, and Notes prote.tcd.-Mariue 1. 
teau noted and extended. "'r™ 

EDWIN K. COREY, 
EDWIN F. CO REY! Jr. 

RS. S. S. BIRD'S LADIES' AND GENTLE- 

men's Dining and Oyster Saloons, No 31 Canal street 
'"■•y, and 284 Division stree* "■ 
ysters Pickled to Order. 



M 



_ ".^« - ~-.~.„ B «u u.rsei oaioous, ISO Jl Uaiial S 

aetr East Broadway, and 264 Division street, New York 



JW. MASON, MANUFACTURER. WHOLESALE and 
. Retail dealers in all kinds of chairs. Wash stands 
Settees, 4c. 377 4 379 Pearl Street. New York. 

Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping. 



BILLIARD TABLES.— PHELAN'S IMPROVED BIL- 
liard Tables and Combination Cushions— Protected bv 
letters patent, daied Feb. 19, 1856 : Oct. 28. 1856 ■ Dec « 

t.m ; Ja " t,' 2 ' I 858 ' The rem " i-provei'i..,,.. ',„ these 
I awes make them uusurpassed in the world Thev are 
now offered to the scientific Billiard players as combining 
speed with truth, never before obtained in any Billiard Table 

^oVyX^ Annuel 788 Br ° adWay ' ^ V °' k ' M "» : 
O'CONNOR & COLLENDOR, Sole Manufacturers. 



BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN Real 
Estate. Houses and stores and lots lor sale in all 
parts of the city. Office at the junction of Broadwav 
aevenln Avenue, and Fony-Si.vlh Street. 



R U t» M ,S 11 AND WOOD CARRIAGE Manufacturers, 
A' 239 West 19th Street, New Y'ork. 

Horse shoeing done with despatch, and in the most sci 
cnfflc manner, and on reasonable terms. 



Q L. OLMSTEAD, IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER 
O, and Jobber of Men's Furnishing Goodsf No 24 Bar 
clay Street, c orner of Church, New York. 

C B ' h HA T? U ' U , I ^ K * MERSEREAlJTimpor.er, 
y, and Jobbers of Men's Furnishing Goods, and Mann! 
facturers „l the Golden Hill Shirts, 99 Chambers street N 
E. corner Church Street, New York. wnm, n 



T A_ ROSENMILLER, DRUGGIST, NO. 172 EIGHTH 




AJUJU 



Volume I.— No. 14.] 



SATURDAY, JULY 24, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



Conference of Methodists. 

The miser Harpers still Harping on the Dimes 
— The self-degradation and downfall of the 
Harpers, who "played on the Harp of a 
thousand strings — sperrits of just men made 
perfte /" 

John Harper — Brothers: These are des- 
perate times. 

Wesley Harper — Yes, and something must 
soon be done, or we must again suspend. 

Fletcher Harpei — That's so. 

Ecil Genius — Go ahead! 

Good Genius — Beware! 

Jack — Our stock in the Courier and En- 
quirer don't pay. We have had the best 
place and the largest type in the columns of 
that Journal for 20 years, and I tell yon, 
brothers, it don't pay. While young Fletch 
had stock in the Times, we had the best place, 
and the biggest type, but you all know it 
didn't pay. Nor do any of the public journals 
yield a fair return for our enormous adver- 
tising investments. 

ji, n — Jack : What in the devil are you 
driving at? Upon my soul, you positively 
alarm me. Why, I declare, I never saw your 
eyes roll so, nor your jaws close so fiercely, 
nor your fist fall so heavily on your knee. 
Now, for the Lord's sake, do disclose, in com- 
mon parlance, what you mean by your mys- 
terious declamation. (Wesley takes out his 
pen knife, and cuts his nails, and Fletcher 
takes a fresh cud of tobacco, and crosses his 
legs.) 

Jack— I have bad an interview with James 
Gordon Bennett. 

Jim — Fletch: Hand me that fan. Wes: 
Please open the window. Sam : Bring me a 
glass of ice water. Now, Jack, proceed. 

jack — Bennett spoke of other days, and in- 
quired after our health. 

Jim— .Whose health ? 

Jack — Mine and yours. 

Jim — What the devil did he mean by that ? 
My health is always good. I never had the 
rheumatism or gout, like you, Jack. What 
did the old reprobate mean by inquiring about 
my health ? I'll thank him to mind his own 
business. 

Jack — Jim : Listen : For thirty years, you 
have imposed on me the financial department 
of our vast establishment, until I have racked 
my brain, and nearly worn myself into the 
grave, and I am pursued in my old age, by 
our creditors, as never before. True, we 
recently resumed payment, but we know that 
we did that for effect, and before we were 
fairly out of the woods. I tell you, brothers, 



we are in a very critical condition. People 
want bread, instead of books and papers, in 
these days of famine and commercial desola- 
tion. Now, brothers, I am desperate, and I 
favor a resort to desperate measures, to save 
the credit of our House. 

Jim — I think I smell a skunk. To save our 
pecuniary credit, you would sacrifice our 
honor. Talk out, Jack, for I too am growing 
desperate, when the scuffle is between credit 
and honor, and I will die in defence of the 
latter. 

Jack — Is not our Weekly declining, and our 
Monthly rapidly decaying, and our general 
business nearly paralysed. Must we not pay 
our notes? And how can we do that, unless 
we adopt the course of Bonner, who is de- 
vouring all the publishers of the civilised 
world. Now, Jim, it is very pleasant for you 
to sit here two or three hours every day, and 
talk about temperance, (and take a glass on the 
sly occasionally,) and praise Methodism, (and 
go to the Theatre, and some other very curi- 
ous places of amusement,) and hold political 
meetings in our counting room, which you fill 
daily with a gang of seedy political vagabonds, 
who once, (with the aid of Divine Provi- 
dence, and Methodists, and Daniel F. Tiemann, 
and Peter Cooper, and Judge Sidney Stewart, 
and the politicians of the Second, Sixth, and 
Eleventh Wards,) set a ball in motion, that 
elected you Mayor of New York, from which 
you did not make a cent, and did not add a 
cipher to your private fortune, — I say, all this 
is mighty pleasant for you, hut not for me, as 
the entire financial department of our im- 
mense establishment has ever been on my 
shoulders, and I am getting very old, and I 
now am about to change our tactics, or we 
are forever lost. 

Jim — Go on, Jack — go on. But stop a 
moment. Fleteh : Just open the desk, and 
pass me the bottle of brandy. (Takes a stiff 
horn.) Now, Jack, go on, for I am prepared 
for anything. 

Jack — I told Bennett that I thought of pub- 
lishing his biography favorably in our Weekly. 

Jim — And what did the old devil say to 
that? 

Jack — His eyes brightened and glistened 
with perfect delight, and he said it was a darni 
fine idea. 

Jim — Wes: Do you hear all this? 

Wes — O yes : I was with brother John, at 
the interview with Bennett and Hudson, at 
the Herald Office. 

Jim — And Fletch : What have you to say ? 

Fletch — I was there, too. 

Jim — Here, Ike. run for your life to the 



Apothecary, and get me some Camphor and 
A.ssafetida. Sam: Bring me a lump of 
ice, and hold it on my head. My blood rushes 
with great violence to my brain. Fletch : Just 
pass the brandy bottle this way once more. 
O my God, my good brothers, I fear you will 
be the death of your brother James. I never 
thought we would come to this. John is 
nearly seventy years old, and I am on the winter 
side of sixty, and Wesley is sixty, and Fletcher 
is nearly sixty, and after a long life of toil, 
and the preservation of our business honor, 
and with children and grandchildren soon to 
till our places on the field of action, it is now 
proposed to prostrate ourselves at the feet of 
a man, who has led a life of infamy from his 
youth to the present hour, and who has pur- 
sued to the grave many a virtuous and timid 
female, and many a noble merchant, who 
were so unfortunate as to get in his wicked 
clutches. O, brothers, I had rather starve, 
than succumb to Bennett, who has abused us 
all our days. We can survive our present 
misfortunes, without disgracing our Weekly 
with the panegryrio of James Gordon Ben- 
nett, which will injure our respectable family 
journal more than we shall realise from our 
advertisements and all the puffs we can squeeze 
from Bennett. There's my private fortune. 
Take'it, and I will gladly return to a one story 
dwelling, and to utter penury, before I will 
sacrifice my self-respect, and my honor, to 
such a monster as James Gordon Bennett. 

Jack — Myself, and Wesley, and Fletcher, 
have long considered this, and we are un- 
changeable, as we deem it our only means of 
salvation. It is incontrovertibly true, that 
Bennett has the largest circulation of any 
paper in America, and if he will permit us to 
advertise, and puff us like Bonner, why, I am 
willing to make any sacrifice. 

Jim — I perceive the old liar has been as 
quiet as a mouse about his prodigious circula- 
tion, since he had to swear in the Carr libel 
case, that his circulation was only about 50,- 
000. The old scamp, just prior to his oath, 
declared that his circulation was nearly 100,- 
000. Once a liar, always a liar, is my motto, 
and I don't believe the Herald's circulation is 
as large as that of the Sun, which is conducted 
by Moses S. Beach, who is an honest man, 
and a true Christian, and a meritorious gentle- 
man. 

Jack — Say what you will, Jim. — Wes. and 
Fletch. and myself are resolved to extend our 
hands to Bennett in terms of the warmest 
friendship. 

Jim — Well, brothers, you are three to one, 
and as ours are democratic institutions — that 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOK. 



is. ns the country we have adopted, is demo- 
cratic (for some of us are of English birth, and 
the rest of us had a very narrow escape, al- 
though the world is ignorant of the fact)— 
I say, that as you arc all against my judgment 
id this matter, and as I don't like to leave you 
in my old age, why, 1 shall very reluctantly, 
and in tears— as you see— (he cries) consent 
to sell ourselves to James Gordon Bennett, 
whom I have always regarded as the incarna- 
tion of a lie, and of the devil. And now, 
brothers, I am prepared to goto the Herald 
Office, and for your sake, affectionately press 
Bennett's hand in hypocrisy, and publish his 
biography, in our Weekly, daubed all over 
with whitewash, and without any severity of 
a!ln<ion to Helen Jewett, or Grinnell, or any of 
his black mail victims, or the numerous males 
and females whose early graves he dug. And 
now I'll take another copious draught of 
brandy, and then I'm ready for our degrada- 
tion, and for the first step in the eternal down- 
fall of the Harpers, who have preserved their 
business honor all over the world, until this 
evil and melancholy hour. Now, brothers, 
come on, and I'm ready to face Bennett and 
the devil himself, and kiss their toes, if it is 
your behest. (They all go to the Herald 
Office, two abreast, with their numerous pos- 
terity, three abreast, in the rear, young Fletch 
leading the younger tribes, with a Weekly 
and Monthly in either hand, to show Mr. 
Bennett as a sample.) 

(To be continued.) 

Randall's Island. 
The etening sun gilds the trees and sp ires — 



The lily and rosy and classic Mistress on her 
couch reclining. 

ENTER GOVERNOR DANIEL F. TIEMANN. 

Amorous Ban — Good evening, my pretty 
Violet. 

Violet — A warm salute to my kind protec- 
tor. 

Dan — Has Governor Simeon Draper been 
here to-day? 

Violet — Yes, and Governor Bell. Simeon 
forced a dozen kisses from my lips and cheeks. 
Dun — O, the scamp ! (Sits by her side, and 
sips luscious fragrance from her cherry and 
rosy lips, while she archly reclines on the sofa 
that he purchased for her) — Sim is a bold 
villain. Did he seek more than a kiss? 
Violet — He again strove hard to ravish me. 
Dan — But you foiled him? 
Violet— I did. 

j) an — O, my love, let me reward thee with 
these grateful lips. (Kisses her twenty times 
in rapid succession.) 

Violet — 0, dearest, I fear you will smother 
rae with gratitude. Do not strangle me with 
such emblems of affection. 

Dan — I love thee too fervently, my charm- 
ing Violet. 

Violet — I'm sorry you have a family. 
Dan — And so am I, my fair one. But 
neither kin nor stranger shall blight our sweet 
relations. Thou art all to me. "Without thee, 
I am most desolate. 

Violet — I fear Simeon Draper will mar our 
happy destiny. 
Dan^-Whj ? 

Violet — Because he loves me. 
Dan — His love is of a lustful nature, while 
mine is from the purest rivulets of the heart. 
Violet — I know you adore my spirit, while 
he only loves my form. 

Dan — And dost thou avow so much ? O, 
breathe those sweet tones again. 
I 'inlet — Shall I sing them, dearest ? 
Dan — what bliss is this! Sing, O sing, 
my beauteous Violet, and entrance my heart 
with thy celestial musio. 

YiOlel aings—Yor many a day, 
With doubtful ray, 
I gazed for thee, 
O'er lea and sea : 



And from my heart, 
Thou ne'er 6halt part, 
So dear to me, 
Thy love will be. 
So on my bed, 
Repose thy head, 
And from my lip 
Choice honey sip. 
Pan— my I and thy ! 
I will ever try 
To please thy fair eye, 
So happy am I. 
Violet — Come, come with me, 
And most happy be. 
Dan— 0, O, 1 

(They retire for the night.) 

MORNING TWILIGHT. 

Dun — Dear Violet, if Sim comes to day, and 
strives to coerce you, scream to the peak of 
your lungs, and terrify and threaten to expose 
him. I love you so devoutly, that I cannot 
live if he continues to molest you. I have al- 
ready expelled your Friend from the Island. 
My affection for my fair Violet has the in- 
tensity of Othello's for Desdemoua, ere Iago 
maddened the honest Moor with fatal jealousy. 

Violet — Simeon Draper threatens to have 
me suspended. He got me my situation as 
Matron, and as he has been a Governor much 
longer than you, and as himself and Richard 
B. Connolly have long controlled the Island, 
had I not better be a little familiar with 
Simeon, so that I will not arouse his wrath to 
such intensity as to peril my situation as 
Matron ? Please view these matters with dis- 
cretion, my noble Daniel. 

Dan — 1 can't consider them for a moment. 
Draper may be powerful, hut he has not the 
might and wealth of the Tiemanns and 
Coopers. So, don't be alarmed, dear Violet. 
Myself and Peter Cooper can protect you 
against the world. "When did Simeon threaten 
to suspend you? 

1 'Met — Yesterday. 

Dan — Did he asssign the cause? 

Violet — Because he thinks I love yon better 
than him. 

Dan — How did he learn my intimacy with 



Violet — No, but you were going to leave 
me without your wonted kiss. 

Dan — O, my pretty and tender Violet, do 
forgive my cruel mental absence. For my 
distracted mind was riveted on Simeon's plots 
to destroy you. So, there, (kissing her), and 
there, and there, and — 

Violet — That will suffice. I fear your en- 
thusiastic and endless kisses will again threat- 
en me with strangulation. O, Daniel! Daniel ! 
thou art a dear and fervent lover, and I do 
hope you will return to-morrow, and pass the 
night with thy devoted, and pensive, and lone- 
ly Violet! 

Dan — I will — I will : 

And now a very brief adieu, 
While I Sim Draper do pursue. 

(He goes towards the shore, and she fastens 
her tearful eyes on his prancing form, until it 
fades from her dismal view, and she retires 
to her lonely apartment, and weeps like the 
wretched Niobe.) 

(To be continued.) 



ittplini |. Iraiuli's Jdliptor. 

NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JULY 24, 1858. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S "ALLIGATOR" CAN BE 
obtained at all hours, at wholesale und retail, at No. 114 Nas- 
sau Street, (Second Story), near Ann Street, New York. 

My Indictment for Libel. 

"When I was a little boy, a classic youth 
passed me, on a bright summer day, in West- 
minster street, in Providence, Rhode Island, 
whose name was Sylvester S. Southworth. 
His cheeks were so rosy, and his form so beau- 
tiful, and his face so graceful, that I paused 
and gazed until he descended my farthest 
horizon. In later years, I formed his acquaint- 
ance, and he became my friend, and in all my 
vicissitudes, he has evinced the fidelity of an 
affectionate brother. "When William Tell was 
about to hurl an arrow at the temples of his 
child, he inquired, in the presence of Gesler : 
" Have I a friend here ?" when a brave youth 
leaped forth, and exclaimed : " Yes, Tell, you 
have," which thrilled the populace with de- 
light, and made Gesler tremble. On "Wednes- 
day last, when in custody of the Sheriff, and 
in pursuit of bail, I looked in the direction of 
Heaven, and I could see a friend there, in the 
spirit of my lamented Father, but in the cheer- 
less pavement, and in the cold faces of the 
multitude, I could discern no friend, and my 
poor heart was bereft of its wonted buoyan- 
cy. But when Mr. Joyce, the kind hearted 
Sheriff, accompanied me to the editorial 
room of Sylvester S. Southworth, of the 
Neio YorJc Mercury, and I inquired : " Have 
I a friend here ?" he sprang and seized my 
hands, and exclaimed: "Yes, Branch, you 
have," and he became my bail, and my heart 
bounded from the gloom of a dungeon, 
to the liberty of a mountain. For twenty 
years, I have gratuitously written for the pub- 
lic journals of New York. For seven years, 
I wrote the Reports of Alfred Carson, against 
Municipal thieves, including Mayor Tiemann, 
who was then an Alderman. For two years, 
I pursued George W. Matsell, Richard B. 
Connolly, George H. Purser, and other per- 
jured aliens. What I have suffered through 
Have Y offended thee','"sw"eet severe toil and illness and penury, in- my pur- 
angel? I suit of public plunderers, and unnaturalized 



youf 

Violet — When you came to see me last week, 
he was sitting on the sofa with me, while you 
knocked at the door. 

Dan — Good gracious ! And where did he 
go when I entered ? 

Violet — He ran into the bed room, and got 
under the bed. 

Dan — Thunder and lightning ! O, if I had 
only caught him. And why did you not tell 
me, my constant Violet ? 

Violet — Because I feared you would kill him. 
Dan — Y'ou were right, and exercised great 
prudence, and probably saved his life, as I 
might have slain him. (Paces the room in 
great agitation.) Gods! I feel murderous! 
When do you again expect him ? 

Violet — Never, as he emerged from under 
the bed in great anger, after you left, and 
cursed me long and fearfully, for keeping him 
under the bed so long, while you were per- 
mitted to enjoy the beauties of my person. 
Dan — What did he threaten when he left ? 
Violet — To have me suspended immediately. 
Dan — I dare him to make the attempt. I 
would spend my last dollar to have yon rein- 
stated. And 1 will instantly depart for the 
city, and put wires in motion that will para- 
lize his wicked purpose. 

Violet — I fear you are too late, as he left in 
a desperate rage, and has probably decapitated 
my Matron head already. 

Dan — I, too, am in a furious rage, and I am 
resolved to defeat his unhallowed project. 
So, a sweet adieu, my lovely Violet, and when 
we meet again, we'll embrace and entwine our 
forms and hearts with unwonted hilarity and 
fervor. 

Violet — (Weeping). Good-by, sir. 

Dan — And why do you weep, my fair and 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



aliens, no inspired mind can ever truly de- 
scribe. For three months past, I have ex- 
posed such bogus philanthropists and public 
thieves and rakes as Peter Cooper and Mayor 
Tiemann and Simeon Draper. And I most 
solemnly swear, that I will never cease my 
exposition of public robbers and villains of 
every grade, until the arrow of death pene- 
trates the core of my heart. The Press and 
the People may conspire against me, and a 
Jury may soon consign me to the solitude of 
a dungeon, but while I enjoy the blessings of 
liberty, I will hurl shafts of political death at 
snch monsters as Cooper and Tiemann and 
Draper, who have bamboozled and plundered 
the people for thirty successive years. So, 
come on, ye incarnate demons, and (through 
power and gold and bribes, and packed juries, 
and your official vassals and ruffians,) drag 
your victim to a prison or the scaffold, but 
God has erected a wall between you and my 
soul, that the sabres and bullets and verdicts 
of your hired assassins can never penetrate. 

Pirates on the Captive and Pauper and 
Crazy Islands. 

Gov. Anderson recently officially declared, 
that Gov. Isaac J. Oliver was a public robber. 
So that we have plunderers and Mistresses 
and Rakes on Randall's and the adjacent 
isles. I thought I felt the shock of an 
earthquake last night. O God! thou art 
most forbearing, to spare the Tiemanns and 
Olivers so long. And if one of Thy most 
awful physical visitations should level the 
habitations of these two wicked men, do, O 
do spare their spotless wives and precious lit- 
tle ones. Read, citizens, read, and go home 
at sunset, and bar your doors, and do not per- 
mit your wives and lovely daughters to leave 
your presence, after the first pretty little star 
appears. And warn them to beware of the 
Tiemanns and Olivers, when they cross their 
path, as poison and death are in their gaze, 
and amorous and thievish motions. 

From, the New Torh Tribune of July 7. 
" An Ep isode — Row Con tracts are Awarded — 
In the course of a controversy about the iron 
work of the Island Hospital, some remarks 
passed between Messrs. Oliver and Anderson 
more piquant than polite. Gov. Anderson 
said he did not want to hold any intercourse 
with so corrupt a man. Gov. Oliver would 
not take any notice of such language, except 
to hurl it back with scorn in the teeth of the 
one that uttered it. He dared any one to 
name a single fact that would show that he 
was corrupt. Gov. Anderson said that he was 
guilty of a very corrupt act when, in opening 
the bids for certain iron work, he endeavored 
to induce his fellow members on the Commit- 
tee to give the contract to a man who was 
not the lowest bidder, more especially as they 
had since discovered that two of that bidder's 
tools — one of them his foreman, and the other 
a Methodist parson in his interest — were 
among the bidders. 

Gov. Oliver said he did not know anything 
about these two men ; the reason he urged 
that the contract be awarded to his friend 
was because he liked to serve his friends, as 
the other Governors did theirs, (here several 
Governors protested against their names being 
called in question,) and because the lowest bid- 
der did not do business in the city. Some 
other words passed between Messrs. Ander- 



son and Oliver, evidently very much to the 
annoyance of the other members of the Board, 
who kept nervously remonstrating, and tried 
repeatedly, but in vain, to get the Board to 
adjourn. 

The discussion wound up by Gov. Oliver 
asserting that if any charges could be brought 
against his integrity, he hoped they would be 
referred to a Committee; cither he or Gov. 
Anderson was evidently unlit to sit in the 
Board. 

Gov. Anderson said he was quite willing to 
refer the matter to a fair Committee, and if 
he did not substantiate the charge of cor- 
ruption against Oliver, he would resign, pro- 
vided that Oliver agreed, in case the charge 
was proved, to leave the Board. 

At this interesting juncture, an indignant 
demand for adjournment from Gov. Moloney 
prevailed, and the troubled waters once more 
resumed their wonted tranquillity. 

Subsequently the members opened the bids 
for the iron work on the Island Hospital. 
There were six bids, the highest being $26,- 
875 ; th*e lowest, by J. B. & W. W. Cornell, 
$18,364." 

Gov. Anderson assures me that Oliver is a 
very corrupt man, and that he will soon give 
me the evidence of his corruption, which I 
will publish as soon as I receive it. The fire- 
men will grieve to learn that Gov. Anderson, 
their faithful Ex-Chief Engineer, is indisposed, 
and seeks the bracing air of Long Island for 
his restoration. Anderson and Carson led the 
firemen long and bravely, and of the million 
inhabitants around us, there are no two gal- 
lant spirits whom I more profoundly revere 
than Cornelius V. Anderson and Alfred Car- 
son. Both are the soul of chivalry and honor. 
And may they ever prosper, and be healthy 
and happy, and be warmly cherished by the 
firemen and by all good citizens. 

From the New York Express of Tuesday last. 

"A Novel Regatta. — Last Saturday after- 
noon, quite a novel exhibition of aquatic skill 
came off at Blackwell's Island, on the occa- 
sion of a boat race, gotten up under the au- 
spices of some of the Governors of the Alms 
House. The boats are six oared barges used 
for conveying passengers from the various in- 
stitutions on the Island to New York. The 
following were the entries which competed for 
sweepstakes : 

Alms House boat, manned by vagrants, ent. money $3 
paupers, 



Work House 
Penitentiary " 
Lunatic Asylum 



thieves, 
lunatics, 



Sweepstakes, $20 

The race was around Blackwell's Island, a 
distance of four miles, starting from a stake- 
boat moored off the Penitentiary wharf. The 
race was witnessed by the Governors and 
friends, and a large number of spectators on 
New York side of the East River. The Work 
House boat came in victor. 

After the race, Governors B. F. Pinckney, 
P. G. Maloney, and Isaac J. Oliver, with a 
large number of invited guests, sat down to a 
jolly good dinner, furnished by order of the 
Governors, at the Lunatic Asylum. The 
tables were supplied with every delicacy of 
the season, with an abundant supply of bran- 
dies, wines, champagne, &c. It has been 
hinted by some malicious persons, that the 
proceedings at table were worthy of the place 
where the feast was held." 

These cruel and lazy Governors must have 
looked funny, sprawled on the velvet banks, 
with public rum and segarsin their bladders and 
jaws, and obscenity and blasphemy in their 



filthy mouths, gazing at the unfortunate crea- 
tures, (rowing for their lives beneath a burning 
sun,) whom the public kindly placed under 
their supervision. What a gang of drones, 
and thieves, and squanderers, and unblushing 
scamps ! O that Maloney and Pinckney and 
Oliver could be made to earn, by bard labor, a 
tithe of the thousands they rifle from the 
honest and industrious classes. 

The Harpers are dead ! They have played 
their last card, and sung their last lay ! Their 
death was horrible and harrowing to their 
friends. Read their melancholy and most de- 
plorable Obituary, on the first page of their 
Weekly Journal of July 10, which contains the 
sprawling likeness of James Gordon Bennett, 
with a most glorious coat of whitewash over 
the sweet form of Helen Jewett, and a host of 
black mail imps and slaughtered victims of his 
vengeance and cupidity. Read, O read, and 
behold the price of a puff, and weep over the 
irrecoverable downfall of the Harpers, inclu- 
ding James, the unnaturalized Englishman, who 
was an American Mayor! O, jokers and 
thimble riggers ! where are you ? Appear ! 
appear! appear! and strive to crush your 
rivals! 

All is not sung from pious lung ! 

Mayor Tiemann is an Episcopalian : 

If high or low, 
Dam if I know, 
Though deeds will show, 
As vane the blow. 

The Harpers are smooth and quiet Method- 
ists, 

And value pence 
More than defence 
Of sacred Altars, 
Or pious paupers. 

Gov. Oliver is a rougli and noisy Methodist, 

And blows wind like a bellows 
To many verdant fellows, 
While in Pauper contracts, 
He seeks Robbers' barracks. 

The Police and Public Robbers. 

Now that Captains Leonard and Dowling 
are reinstated, and as new brooms sweep 
mighty clean, and as they will probably make 
more arrests and rip up more rascality than 
their associates during the next two months, 
I will direct their attention to the tax books, 
to ascertain the amount of taxes paid by De 
Forest and Tisdale before they established the 
Hunter Woodis Society. Also, what their 
associates paid. Accredited rumor says that 
all the members of the Hunter Woodis So- 
ciety were drones and paupers before they 
began to collect indigent funds for the Hunter 
Woodis Society, and before they cunningly 
devised (in connection with Cooper, Tie- 
mann, Gerard, and others) the Calico Balls 
at the Academy of Music and Crystal Palace. 
They now have their carriages, (gold and 
silver mounted,) and fast horses, and elegant 
mansions, and have even had the silly bold- 
ness to open an Ice Cream and Lager Bier 
Saloon, on a scale of dazzling splendor and 
unprecedented area, that would fascinate the 
Frenchman, and bewilder the German, and 
will astonish the American. So, just examine 
the tax books, Leonard and Dowling, and 
give me the startling statistics, and I will 
publish them. And I'll bet largely in advance, 
that they were paupers until they stole and 
appropriated the fascinating and noble name 
of Woodis, to consummate their unhallowed 
schemes, to rob the Poor of the Metropolis. 
" That's all," as Dr. Wallace too often says at 
the close of his Junius editorials in the Herald : 

Doctor, Doctor, Doctor ! 

You are a funny Proctor ! 

O De Forest and Tisdale, 

You'll soon have worms, and grow pale. 

Leonard and Dowling: To your task, 

And in my rays, you yet may bask. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLiaATOB. 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit— From two to four seconds, or as long as the Ad- 
vertiser can hold Lis breath ! Letters and Advertisements to 
be left at No. 114 Nassau street, second story, front room. 



TyroTiCE 



TO FARMERS AND MARKET 

GARDENERS.— CiirY Inspf.ctor's Department, 
N-'u- York, June 1G, 1353— In conformity with the following 
p , . ,- 1 n, the Bpa< ■■ therein mentioned will be permitted t>> 
be used ae ;i place, by fennel • and Gardeners, fur th<- Bale of 
v g< tables and garden produce, until the hour of 12 o'clock, 
p,l doily— the use t«» be free of charge : 

Resolved, That permission be, ami is hereby, given to farm- 
era ami market gardeners, to occupy daily, until 12 M., free of 
oharge, the vacant space of the northern and Bouthern extrem- 
ities oJ the intersection of Broadway and Sixth avenue, be- 
twnn Tliii-tv-se.mnd and Thirty-fifth Btreets, without mfring- 
ing upon the streets which tin- Baid space intersects, for the 
purpose only of selling vegetables and market produce, of their 
own farms or gardens, under the supervision of the City In- 
spector. _ 

Also, by resolution of the Common Council, The use of 
Ofouvernpur slip is granted to farmers and gardeners for thi 
£«ic uf produce from wagons. 

GEO W. MORTON, City Inspector. 
JOSEPH CANNING. Sup'fc of Markets. 



XTOTICE- 



COREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S EX- 
r haD£'\ \V;ill street, New Ymk.-Notaries Public and Com. 
musioneTS.— United State's Passports issued in 38 hours,— 
Bills of Exchange, Drafts, ami Notea protested,— Marine pro- 
tests uotrd and extended. - „„„ 
EDWIN F. COKEY, 
EDWIN F. COREY, Jr. 



T VAN TINE, SHANGAE KESTAURANT, 
*3 • No. 2, Diy street, New York. 



s. 



& J. W. KAKKEK, GENERAL AUC- 
TIONEERS A REAL ESTATE BROKERS. Loans 
negotiated, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds 

Si.ld ut Auctinn or Private Sale. 

Also, FCRNITURE SALES attended to at private bouses. 
Office, 14 Pine street, under Commonwealth Bank. 



CARLTON HOUSE, 496 BROADWAY, NEW 
York. Bates aud Holden, Proprietors. 

THEOPHILUS BATES. 
OREL J. HOLDEN. 



MANUFACTURERS. - 

ty, IS 

Loo'_ 
and Gimp Bauds, 



1RIMMING 

YATES Sc CO., 639 Broadway, New York. 
Fringes, Cords, Tassels, Loops, Gimps 



-B. S. 



-TO PERSONS KEEPING SWINE, 

OWNERS OF PROPERTY WHERE THE SAME 
MAY BE K.EPT, AND ALL OTHERS INTERESTED. At 
■.meeting ol the Mayor aud Commissioners of Health, held 
at the City Hall of the City of New York, Friday, June 18th, 
1858. the following preamble and resolutions were adopted : 

Whereas, A large number of swine are kept in various por- 
tions of the citv; and whereas, it is the general practice of 
persons so keeping swine, to boil offal and kitchen refuse and 
garbage, whereby a highly offensive aud dangerous nuisance 
ii created, therefore, he it 

Resolved. That this Board, of the Mavor and Commission- 
ers of Health, deeming swine kept south of (86th) street, in 
this city, to be creative of a nuisance and detrimental to the 
public health, therefore, the City Inspector he, and he is here- 
by, authorized and directed to take, seize, and remove from 
any and all places and premises, all and every swine found or 
kept on any premises in any place in the city of New York 
southerly of said street, and to cause all such swine to be re- 
moved to the Public Pound, or other suitable place beyond the 
limits of the city or northerly of said street, aud to cause all 
premises or places wherein, or on which, said swine may 
have been so found or kept, to be thoroughly cleaned and puri- 
fied as the City Inspector shall deem necessary to secure the 
preservation of the public health, and that all expenses in- 
curred thereby constitute a lien on the lot, lots or premises 
from which said nuisance shall have been abated or removed. 

Resolved, That the foregoing resolutions shall take effect 
from and alter the first day of July next, and that public no- 
tice be given of the same by publication in the Corporation 
papers to that date, and that notice may be given to persons 
Keeping swine by circulars delivered on the premises, and 
that all violations of this order be prosecuted by the proper 
legal authorities, on complaint from the City Inspector or his 
officers. 

City Inspector's Department, > 
New York, June 18, 1S58. J 

All persons keeping swine, or upon whose property or prem- 
ises the same may be kept, are hereby notified that the above 
resolutions will "be strictly enforced from and after the tirst 
day of July next. 

GEO. W. MORTON, City Inspector. 



WM. COULTER, Carpenter.— I have long 
been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who 
will favor me with their patronage, that I will build as good 
houses, or anything else in my line, as any other carpentei in 
the city of New York. I will ulso be as reasonable in charges 
for my work as any other person. 

WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter. 
Rear of 216 East Twentieth street, New York. 



EDWARD PHALON & SON, 497 and 517 Broadway, 
New York— Depots for the sale of Perfumery, and 
every article connected with the Toilet. 

We now introduce the "BOUQUET D'OGARITA, or 
Wild Flower of Mexico," which is superior to any thing of 
the kind in the civilized world. 

EDWARD PHALON & SON. 



QAMUEL SWEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER.— 
O My Office is at No. 31 Coiiears street, New York ; and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have built 
Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a 
long term of years, and continue to do so on reasonable 
terms. SAMUEL SNEDEN. 



JOHN B. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, 713 WATER STREET 
My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me a call, 
and if I don't please you, I will disdain to charge you for 
what does not entirely satisfy you. JOHN B. WEBB. 



GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND 
Commission Merchants, No. 106, Wall street, corner of 
Front street, New York. 



WAV. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 
• 9 Chamber street, near Chatham street, New York. 



s 



OLOMON BANTA, Architect, No. 93 Amos 

trcet, New York. 1 have built as many houses and stores 
as any Architect in this city, or the United States, and I can 

Eroduce vouchers to that effect ; and I flatter myself that I can 
uild edifices that will compare favorably, in point of beauty 
and durability, with those of any architect in this country. 1 
am prepared to receive orders in my Tine of business, at No. 
93 Amos street, New York. 



SOLOMON BANTA. 



ROBERT ONDERDONK — THIRTEENTH 
Ward Hotel, 4U5 and 407 Grand street, corner of Clinton 



street, New York. 



FRANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE 
and RETAIL CLOTHING & FURNISHING WARE- 
HOUSE, 70 and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester sts., 
New York. Largo and elegant assortment of Youths' and 
Boys' Clothing. F. B. BALDWIN, 

J J. G. BARNUM. 

P. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense 
Establishment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY ! An en- 
tire New Stock of GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S aud CHIL- 
DREN'S CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best 
workmen in the city, is now opened for inspection. Also, a 
superior stock of FURNISHING GOODS. All articles are 
of the Best Quality, and bavins been purchased during the 
erisis, WILL BE "SOLD VERY LOW! The Custom De- 
partment contains the greatest variety of CLOTHS, CASSi- 
MERES, andVESTINGS. 

Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G BAR- 
NUM, who has had great experience iu the business, having 
been thirty years connected with the leading Clothing Es- 
tablishments of the city. 

THOMAS A. DUNN, 506 EIGHTH AVENUE, 
has a very choice assortment of Wines, Brandies, Cor- 
dials, and Segars, which he will sell at prices that will yield a 
fair profit. All my democratic friends, and my immediate as- 
sociates iu the Boards of Aldermen aud Couneilmen are re- 
spectfully invited to call in their rambles throughEig hth Ave- 
nue, and enjoy a good Havana segar, and nice, sparkling 
champagne, and very exbilerating brandy. For the negars, 1 
will charge my political friends and associates ouly five pence 
each, and for the brandy only ten pence per half gill, and for 
the champagne only four shillings a glass, or two dollars a bot- 
tle. 

So call, kind friends, and sing a glee, 
And laugh and smoke and drink wiih me, 
Sweet Sangaree 
Till you can't see: 
( ChoruM — At your expense ! 

(Which pays my rents,) 
For my fingers do you see 
O'er my nose gyrating free 1 

THOMAS A. DUNN. No. 506 Eighth avenue. 



WILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR, & OFFICE 
Furniture Dealer and Manufacturer, 
No. 289 Broadway, corner of Read street New York. Room 



No. 15. 



TRUSSES, ELASTIC STOCKINGS, SHOUL- 
der Brai es, Supporters, Bandages, Ac. H. L. Parsons, 
M D. Office, 4 Ann street, under the Museum. 



ALANSON T. BRIGGS— DEALER IN FLOUR BARRELS, 
Molasses Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks. 
Also, new flour barrels and half-barrels; a large supply 
constantly on hand. Mv Stores are at Nos. 62, 63, 64, 69, 
73, 75, 77 and 79 Rutger's Slip ; at 235, 237, and 239 Cherry 
street ; also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and 
Rutger's Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in 
Williamsburgh are at Furman & Co.'s Dock. My yards in 
New York are at the corner of Water and Gouverneur 
streets; and in Washington street, near Canal ; and at Le- 
roy Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger's Slip. 

ALANSON T. BUIGGS. 



ASHION HOUSE.— JOSEPH HYDE PRO- 

prietor, corner Grand aud Essex street. Wines, Liquors, 
and Cigars of the best brands. He invites his friends to give 
him a call. Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons. 



V 



WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND 
COUNSELLOR AT LAW, No. 176 Chatham street, 
New York. Any business entrusted to his charge from citi- 
zens of this city or any part of the country, will receive prompt 
and faithful attention, and bo conducted on reasonable terms. 
WILLIAM A. CONKLIN. 



HERRING'S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR- 
glar Proof Safe, wiih H til's Patent Powder Proof 
locks, afford the greaiest security of any Safe iu the world. 
Also. Sideboard and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship 
a(,d finish, for plate, &c. S. C. HERRING & CO., 

251 Broadway. 



JAMES MELENFY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAMUEL 
Hopper.) Grocer, and Wholesale and Retail Dealer in 
Pure Country Milk. Teas, Coffee, Sugars A Spices. Flour, 
Butter, Lard. Chefse, Eggs Ac No. 158, Eighth Avenue. 
Near 18th Street, New York. Families bupplied by leaving 
their-address at ihe Store. 



BOOT <$■ SHOE EMPORIUMS. EDWIN A. BHOoKS, 
Importer and Manufacturer of Hoots, Shoes A Gaiter6, 



Wholesale and Ret 
Street, New York. 



ii, No. 575 Broadway, and 15U Fulto 



MC SPEDON AND BaKEK'S STATIONERY WARE 
house and Envelope Manufactory, Nos. 29, 31, and 
33. Beekman Street, New York. 

Envelopks of dll patterns, styles and quality, on hand, 
and made to order for the trade and others, by Steam Ma- 
chinery. Patented April 8ih, 1856. 



JAMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD,— 
Twenty-sixth street and Second Avenue. I always have 
•11 hinds of coal ou hand, and of the very best quality, which 
I will sell sslow as auy other coal dealer in the United States. 
JAMES DONNELLY. 

OLEY'S CELEBRATED " GOLD PENS." 

For Bale by all Stationers and Jeweller*. 
OFFICE AND STOKE, 

163 BROADWAY. 

MRS. S. S. BIRD'S LADIES' AND GENTLE- 
mrn'i Dining aud Oyster Saloons, No 31 Canal street, 
near East Broadway, and 264 Divibiun street, New York. 
Oyators Pickled to Order. 



F 



COZZENS' HOTEL COACHES,— STABLE, Nos 34 and 
36 Canal Street. New York- 
I will .strive hard to please ..II those generous citizens 
who will kindly favor me with their patronage. 

EDWARD VaN RANST. 



JW MASON, MANUFACTURER. WHOLESALE and 
. Retail dealers in all kinds of Chairs. Wash Stands, 
Settees Ac 377 A 379 Pearl Street. New York. 

Cane aud Wood Seat ChairB, in Boxes, for Shipping. 



BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN Real 
Estate. Houses and stores and lots lor sale in all 
parts of the city. Office at the junction of Broadway. 
Seventh Avenue, and Forty-Suth Street. 

r?ULLMER AND WOOD. CARRIAGE Manufacturers, 
F 239 West 19th Street, New York. 

Horseshoeing done with despatch, and in the most sci 
snttfic manner, and on reasonable terms- 



I^ULTON IRON WORKS.— JAMES MURPHY & CO., 
manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, 
&c. Iron aud Brass Castings, foot of Cherry street, East 
River. 



B 



RADD1CK & IIOGAN, SAlLMAKERS, No. 272 South 
Street, New Yoik. 
Awnings, Tents, and Bags made to order. 

JESSE A. BRADDIOK, 
RICHARD IIOGAN. 



N. GENIN, FASHIONABLE IIaTTER, 214 Broad- 
way, New York. 



G 



lENlN'S LADIES' & CHILDREN'S OUTFITTING 
Bazaar, 513 Broadway, ( St Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.) 



"4A7ILLIAM M. SOMERVILLE, WHOLESALE AND 
VV Retail Druggist and Apothecary, 205 Bleeckerst , 
corner Minetla, opposite Cottage Place. New York. All the 
popular Patent Medicines, fies-h Swedish Leeches, Cup- 
ping, Ac. Physicians* Prescriptions accurntely prepaied. 
WM. M. SOMEUVILLE. 



AW. A T. HUME, MERCHANT TAILORS, No. 
• 82 Sixth Avenue, New York. We keep a large and 
elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman re- 
quiies. We make Coats, Vests and Pants, after the latest 
Parisian fashions, and on reasonable terms. 

A. W. A T. HUME. 

THE WASHINGTON, By BARTLETT A GATES, 
No. 1 Broadway, New York. Come and see us, good 
friends, and eat and d-ink and be merry, in the same capa- 
cious and patriotic halls where ihe immortal Washington's 
voice and laugh once reverberated. 
O come to <-ur Hotel, 
And you'll be treated welt. 

BARTLETT A GATES. 



EXCELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 CENTRE ST., 18 
furnished with every facility, latest improved presses, 
and the newest styles of type— for the excution of Book, 
Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens. 



CMIARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, (ESTABLISHED IN 
/ 1808,) Sign of the Golden Horse, 89 Bowery, New York, 
opposite the Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his articles as low as 
any other Saddler in America, and warrant them to be equal 
to any in the World. 



HN. WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 
• 451 Broadway, bet. Grand and Howard streets, New 
York. My Iceland* Moss and Flaxseed Caudy will cure 
Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time. 



JAMES GRIFFITHS, (Late CHATFIELD k GRIFFITHS,) 
No. 273 Grand St., New York. A large stock of well-se- 
lected Cloths, Cassimeres, Vestings, Ac , on hand. Gent's, 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in the most 
approved style. All cheap for Cash. 



J AGATE & CO., MEN'S FURNISHING GOODS 
■ and Shirt Manufacturers. 256 Broadway, New York 

Shirts made to order and guaranteed to fit. 
J. AGATE, F. W. TALK1NGTON. 



BILLIARD TABLES.— PHELAN'S IMPROVED BIL- 
Iiard Tables and Combination Cushions— Protected by 
letters patent, da'ed Feb. 19, 1856; Oct 28, 1856; Dec. 8, 
1857; Jan. 12,1858. The recent improvements in ihese 
Tables make them uusurpassed in the world. They arc 
now offered to the scientific Milliard players as combining 
speed with truth, never before obtained in any Billiard Table, 
sales-rooms Nos. 786 and 788 Broadway, New York. Manu- 
factory No. 53 Ann Street. 

O'CONNOR & COLLENDOR, Sole Manufacturers. 



SL. OLMSTEAD, IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER 
t and Jobber of Men's Furnishing Goods, No. 24 Bar- 
clay Street, corner of Church, New York. 

CB. HATCH, HILLER A MERSEREAU, Importers 
• and Jobbers of MenV Furnishing Goods, and Manu- 
facturers of the Golden Hill Shirts, 99 Chambers Street, N 
E. corner Church Street, New York. 



A. ROSENMILLER, DRUGGIST, NO. 172 EIGHTH 

* Avenue. New Y»rk. Cupping A Leeching. Medi- 
cines at ail hours. 




>7sj^ Kr JCB^o 



Volume I— No. 15.] 



SATURDAY, JULY 31, 1858. 



[Price 2 Cents. 



James Gordon Bennett and Fanny 

Elssler. 

Fanny's Parlor. 

Bennett (Softly knocks) — Fanny, dear, aro 
you in? 

Fawny— Who's there? 

Bennett — Thy friend. 

Fanny — -Thy name ? 

Bennett — James Gordon Bennett. 

Fanny — Gracious Heaven! (She unlocks 
the door.) 

Enter Bennett. 

Bennett — Good morning-, sweet Fanny. 

Fanny — A kind salutation to my noble 
friend. 

Bennett— Where's Wyckoff? 

Fanny — I don't know. 

Bennett — Will he return soon ? 

Fanny — I guess not. 

Bennett — Then come and sit in my lap. 

Fanny — I will. (She bounds to Bennett's 
knees.) 

Bennett — Now kiss me. 

Finny — There! (Smack! smack! smack! 
and the last on his lips.) 

Bennett — O! how sweet! 

Fanny (archly) — You don't say ! 

Bennett — Yes, I do. 

Funny — And so do I. 

Bennett — Then give me another cluster of 
kisses. 

Fanny — I'll give yon a dozen or a hundred, if 
you will only puff me well, and fill the theatre 
every night. 

Bennett— Have I not puffed you well, my 
darling? 

Fanny — W-e-1-1 — y-e-s. Wyckoff says I am 
increasing my popularity every day. And 
now if you will only continue topvff me, my 
dear Mr. Bennett, I will hug and kiss you, and 
love you ever so dearly. And do yon know 
that I intend to give your beautiful wife some 
precious jewels ? 

Bennett — Wyckoff said you contemplated a 
splendid donation to my fair lady. 

Fanny — Oyes, dear Mr. Bennett, the jewels 
are all purchased, and your dear wife shall 
have them soon. 

Bennett — Hush! fair creature ! Don't talk 
so loudly. Is the door locked ? I hear foot- 
steps. Some one ascends the stairs. If you 
are seen in my lap, old Mordecah M. Noah 
will get hold of it, and put it in his Caudle 
Lectures, which bite me terribly. 

Fanny — The door is locked, and you need 
not be afraid, as it is only the servant coming 
to bring me some wine and water, and to dust 
my parlor. 



Bennett — Well, give me one more fervent 
kiss, and let in the servant, and I will depart, 
and return soon, unless you expect Wyckoff. 
It won't do for us both to be here at the same 
time, you know, eh? 

Fanny — I hardly think it will, although I 
love you both. 

Servan t — (Knocks.) 

Fanny — Busy 1 (Servant goes down stairs.) 

Bennett — Which do you love best — me or 
Wyckoff? 

Fanny — I love you the best, dear Mr. Ben- 
nett. Most people call Wyckoff the hand- 
somest, but I think you are the prettiest man 
I ever saw. Your voice is so sweet, and your 
complexion so fair, and -your features so Gre- 
cian, and your smile so lovely, and your heart 
so kind, and your figure so commanding, and 
your eyes so expressive of a large humanity. 
O, Mr. Bennett, I most dearly love you, and 
now I desire to know if you love me, and how 
much ? And before you tell me, there's an- 
other luscious kiss on your fragrant lips. And 
now, dear friend, do tell me how much you 
love your grateful and affectionate Fanny ? 

Bennett — 0, I love yon most ardently, and 
I have a mind to give Wyckoff a touch of the 
Italian, and marry you, and hide ourselves in 
some deep mountain glen of my beloved Scot- 
land. 

Fanny — 0, if you would only do all that. 

Bmnett — What ! kill Wyckoff, and marry 
you, and desert my devoted wife and child ? 

Fanny — To be sure. Did you not say you 
would ? 

Bennett — Heaven! Fanny! I am very 
nervous. Your extraordinary fascinations will 
ruin me, and I must fly. 

Fanny — Whither ? 

Bennett — To my office. 

Fanny — What! Havn't you the pluck to 
kill Wyckoff, and marry me, and all my jewels, 
and the vast possessions I have acquired 
through my grace and agility ? 

Bennett — Darm it, Fanny, no more to-day. 
Give me a parting kiss, and I will go, and we 
will resume this delightful theme to-morrow, 
when Wyckoff is promenading Broadway, or 
arranging your affairs at the Theatre and the 
printing offices. So, good-by, my adored Fan- 
ny — farewell, my precious solace and incom- 
parable divinity. 

Fanny — A fond adieu, my charming ad- 
mirer. Come againto-morrow, or I shall die. 
(She cries like a female Crocodile.) 
. Bennett — Farewell. 

Fanny — Farewell — my benefactor. O fare- 
well ! 

(He goes, and Fanny leaps, and dances, and 



laughs, and screams, and wildly rejoices over 
his departure.) 

The reader must now imagine the lapse of many 

years. 

Bennett's Office. 

Bennett — Mr. Hudson, don't let Ross & 
Tousey have any more Heralds (or their coun- 
try agents. 

Hudson— Why ? 

Bennett — Because I learn that they have 
got all my little private arrangements with 
Fanny Elssler stereotyped, and intend to pub- 
lish my connection and black mail operations 
with Elssler and Wyckoff, which will mortify 
me extremely, and forever degrade me in the 
eyes ot the people, and of my wife and child- 
ren. 

Hudson — I will see that Boss & Tousey ob- 
tain no more //. raids, 

Bennett — Give the order immediately, to 
expel Boss & Tousey forever from our estab- 
lishment. 

Hudson — I will. (Bings the bell.) 
Enter Paper Superintendent. 

Superintendent — What is your desire, Mr. 
Hudson? 

Hudson — Let Ross & Tousey have no more 
Heralds. They have offended Mr. Bennett. 

Superintendent — Is it possible ? I'll see that 
they get no more Heralds. (He goes.) 

(Hudson goes to Bennett's private room.) 

Hudson — I have given your order, and it 
will be instantly obeyed. 

Bennett — That will suffice. (Hudson retires.) 

(To be continued.) 

Richard B. Connolly and other Conspira. 
tors against my Liberty. 

In 1S55, Richard B. Connolly said he would 
give me a clerkship in the County Clerk's 
Office, if I would not expose his unnaturalized 
alienage. I declined his infamous proposition. 
He then got Alderman John Kelly to read a 
letter to the Board of Aldermen, declaring 
that he was born in Ireland, and first landed 
in Philadelphia, where he got naturalized in 
Independence Hall, and that he valued the frame 
that contauied the evidences of his naturaliza- 
tion, more than any piece of furniture in his 
honse, and invited all to call at his residence, and 
behold its graceful suspension on his parlor wall. 
I called, and his wife assured me that her hus- 
band was absent, and that his naturalization 
papers were in a trunk, and that he had got 
the kej r . Alderman John H. Briggs called, 
when Connolly was at home, but he was not 
permitted to see the evidences of his naturali- 
zation. Other citizens, and many of Con- 



Q 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



nolly's most intimate friends called and de- 
sired to see his naturalization papers, bul be 
declined to show them. I then went to 1'hila- 
(1 ilphia, and got certificates from the clerks of 
all the Courts, that Richard 1!. Connolly, of 
Ireland, was never naturalized in the Phila- 
delphia Courts, and I returned, and published 
the results of my visit to Philadelphia in the 
York Times, and otlier journals, and also 
stated that Connolly strove to bribe me not to 
I pose his alienage. At the election of County 
Clerk, which followed these events, Connolly 
did not vote, and "when taunted with his re- 
fusal to vote by his adversaries, he excused 
himself on the ground that he had bet largely 
on several candidates, and dared not vote. 
This was the very small aperture through 
which he crawled. And this is the scamp who 
i- to impannel the jury by which I am soon 
to be tried for the alleged libel of Tiemann 
and Cooper and Connolly's most sacred friend, 
Simeon Draper, with whom he was long a 
clerk, and with whom he has been connected 
in schemes of plunder and political villainy for 
nearly a quarter of a century. From Con- 
nolly's notorious character as a sly and cun- 
ning and treacherous rascal, and Jury Packer, 
I ballot stuffer, and public robber, 1 have 
every reason to believe that he will pack the 
jury that will try me. And he has four 
powerful motives for packing my jury, and 
s>: nding me to Blackwell's Island : And firstly, 
to avenge my exposure of his perjured alien- 
age, and secondly, to prove his fidelity to 
his old friend, Simeon Draper, and thirdly, to 
win the favor of Tiemann and Cooper, and 
secure their support of hint as Comptroller, 
and fourthly, to incarcerate me while he seeks 
his nomination and election as Comptroller, 
so that I cannot expose his perjured alienage 
and nefarious crimes, during his efforts to ob- 
tain an office, which will enable him to steal 
millions from the Treasury, and thus rob the 
toiling millions of ther bread and raiment and 
shelter from the pitiless elements, and drive 
many a lovely virgin, of sick and indigent 
parents, to the horrors of prostitution. In 
1852, he was almost penniless, but now he is 
worth a million of dollars, which he has 
stolen directly from the pockets of the honest 
and laborious classes, for whom he profess- 
es exhaustless love. With the Mayor and 
i larly all the Executive Departments, and 
Connolly, Draper, Sickles, Hart, and the 
Herald, Times, and Trihviie, and other jour- 
nals, and Peter Cooper, and Ex-Mayor Kings- 
land, and other millionaires against me, it 
seems almost impossible to escape a sojourn 
at Blackwell's Island, but I have confidence 
in God and truth and justice, and I defy all 
the powers of earth to vanquish my soul. 
And I most fervently thank the Great Dis- 
poser of Events, that if I am consigned to a 
felon's cell, it will not be for robbing the 
friendless multitudes, like such thieves as Tie- 
mann, Cooper, Draper, and Connolly, who 
may not be incarcerated and tortured for their 
deeds of villainy while living, although a 
b rrible retribution awaits them beyond the 
grave. Stephen, of old, was stoned for his 
virtues, and Socrates poisoned, and the Saviour 
crucified, and a poor, humble, and friendless 
heing like me, may be imprisoned, and forced 
to die in a dungeon, for exposing the public 
robbers of the present generation. But I will 
not murmur at the terrible ordeal through 
which I am about to pass. For 0y fidelity 
to tho people, I may lose my liberty. Be it 
so. And when the public thieves have con- 
signed me to a lonely and dreary cell, and my 
frail form slowly wastes away, and I am for- 
ever gone, my absent soul will only crave a 
humble mound, and the tears of the virtuous, 
to bless and fertilise the pretty flowers that 
prance over my grassy hillock, in the mild 
summer perfume. 



>teplun f . §rant|j's Jdlipt0r. 



NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JTJLY 31, 1858. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S "ALLIGATOR" CAN BE 

i.lhiM . .1 (it all hnurs, at wholesale and retail, at No. 114 Nus- 
buu Street, (Second Story), near Ann Street, New York. 

My Trial. 

Mr. Sedgwick informs me that I will be 
tried on the first Monday in August. I shall 
lie ready, and I dare Mayor Tiemann to meet 
me on that memorable day. It grieves me to 
know that my witnesses will overwhelm him 
with disgrace, because his wife and children 
will be degraded through all their posterity. 
But for Tiemann, and Peter Cooper, and Ed- 
ward Cooper, I have no sympathy, because 
they have been recreant to the people, in their 
appointment of thieves and assassins to the 
most lucrative and honorable offices. Daniel 
F. Tiemann lias been a hypocrite and a public 
thief, since he was Alderman in 1838. 'Peter 
Cooper has been a public plunderer since he 
was Alderman in 1828, and a heartless miser 
through all his days ; and Daniel and Peter 
are training young Edward to imitate their 
pernicious example. Peter Cooper is the fa- 
ther of illegitimate children, who reside in the 
vicinity of his Glue Factory, at Bushwick, and 
1 >anicl F. Tiemann has long kept a mistress on 
Randall's Island, and committed other deeds 
of hell, as I will prove on the first Monday in 
August. Let there be no postponement of the 
trial, as I yearn for a conflict, that will con- 
sign the foes of the people to undying infamy. 

National Degeneration ! 

What a consummate band of scamps wield 
the destinies of this nation. From President 
to Treasurer, and Collector, and official Sex- 
ton, all is blai k-;nail, fornication, ballot-stutl'- 
ing, and unblushing robbery. Who can re- 
spect a President, who will permit such a vil- 
lain as James Gordon Bennett to be a guest at 
his table, and dictate his domestic and foreign 
appointments, and demand the publication of 
the "List of Letters" in his chameleon and 
most infamous Journal, to the exclusion of the 
New York Sun, which has the highest city 
circulation, and which should publish the Let- 
ters according to the Acts of Congress. Did 
not Bennett first support George Law, and 
then Fremont, down to the last hour of the 
election ? And did he not traduce Buchanan, 
as no other man in America ? And why does 
Buchanan kiss the rod that strove to smite 
him? And why does he permit him to visit 
the White LTouse, as his most distinguished 
guest? Is it because he fears he will expose 
the motive of his intimate relations with Daniel 
E. Sickles, and give some curious reminis- 
cences of Fanny White's notorious tour in 
Europe, while Dan was his Private Secretary 
and flying Minister to Spain? Ostensibly, it 
was Buchanan's fear of Bennett's hostility to 
his Kansas views, but in reality, it was his 
dread of Bennett's disclosure of hellish domes- 
tic events, during Fanny White's European 
pilgrimage, that induced Buchanan to proffer 
Bennett the freedom of the White House, and 
that forced him to unite Bennett and Sickles 
in perpetual friendship. I can show where 
Bennett squints at Dan and Fan and Buck in 
the Herald, which shook the White House to 
its deep foundation. Two famous harlots long 
kept Daniel E. Sickles and Emanuel B. Hart, 
and the latter lives with a woman now, on the 
principles of Turkish Free Love. Fanny 
White kept Sickles until he went to board 
with a dancing master, whose wife he soon 
allures from the bed of her husband, and 
drives him from his own house. He then se-' 
duces their daughter, a mere child, who be- 
came six month's pregnant. Ho now fears 



the law, and gets Bishop Hughes to marry 
him to the lovely and youthful creature of his 
seduction. He then introduces Mayor Am- 
brose C. Kingslaud to his wile's mother, with 
whom Kingslaud has sexual intercourse. He 
then asks Mayor Kingsland to give him a cer- 
tificate, that he had been married six months 
before, to cover the pregnancy of his wife. 
Kingsland hesitates, when Dan threatens to ex- 
pose lils sexual intercourse with his wife's 
mother. Kingsland becomes alarmed and gives 
Dan the marriage certificate, and all is tran- 
quil. When Dan became James Buchanan's 
Private Secretary, at the Court of St. James, 
Fanny White visited London, and was very 
intimate with Buchanan, and Dan gave her 
passports all over Europe, as Mrs. James Gor- 
don Bennett. Bennett ascertained this, and 
hence the long and bitter quarrel between Dan 
and Bennett. Dan got the Hon. John Wheeler 
to give Fanny White letters of introduction to 
certain parties at Niagara Falls, as Mrs. James 
Gordon Bennett. Fanny White now lives in 
New York, and Dan is still friendly with her, 
although she is kept by another. Emanuel 
B. Hart was long kept by Eliza Pratt, who 
got tired of him, and discarded him. He sub- 
sequently took a notorious wanton, named 
Louise Wallace, from a house of ill-fame, and 
lives with her now, and introduces her into 
the first circles of society. Sickles is now a 
member of Congress, and the most influential 
man under Buchanan in the White House, and 
Hart was appointed by Buchanan, Surveyor 
of the Port of New York, which is considered 
next in importance to the office of Collector. 
And yet there are no earthquakes. And the 
people tamely submit to this monstrous degra- 
dation. And these revelations may lead to a 
scuffle of death between Sickles, Hart, and my- 
self. But if I were sure that my brains were 
to be strewn upon the pavement, I would dis- 
close to the American people, that their pub- 
lic servants are thieves, and fornicators, and 
ballot -stuffers, and black-mailers. Public men 
who will keep vile women, or (what is infinite- 
ly more degrading,) be kept and fed and clothed 
by concubines, like Hart and Sickles, should 
bo exposed and loathed by all virtuous minds. 
And Buchanan should be more despised than 
Hart and Sickles, for his known intimacy with 
them for years, and with Fanny White, and 
for his appointment of Hart as Surveyor, and 
for chopping off the heads of a hundred worthy 
officials, at the instigation of such a notorious 
rake, and thief, and ballot-stuffer as Daniel E. 
Sickles. Buchanan fears Sickles, Hart, Ben- 
nett, and Fanny White ! God of Heaven'! 
How the national morals have degenerated 
during the present century. At a recent din- 
ner at the White House sat the President, Ben- 
nett, Russell, Hart and Sickles. The Presi- 
dent sat beside Mrs. Dan Sickles — Bennett sat 
next to Mrs. Judge Russell — Russell sat alono 
— Emauel B. Hart sat next to his Mistress, 
and Sickles next to Fanny White. What a 
mournful sacrilege ! Violated shades of Wash- 
ington ! Jefferson ! and Jackson ! O Vernon ! 
and Montieello! and tho Hermitage! may thy 
hallowed verdure be forever green and fragrant. 
And paralysed be the monsters who trample thy 
mounds, and blight thy pretty violets. And is 
there an American, or a naturalized foreigner 
whose cheeks do not crimson at a bacchanal 
like this, iu the sacred atmosphere of great 
Washington's mausoleum? What! Shall a 
gang like this be permitted to desecrate the 
balls and seats once occupied by the most il- 
lustrious patriots that ever graced the earth? 
0, Father of Heaven! Do not abandon the 
honest Americans, nor the patriot pilgrims to 
theso happy shores, who still are grateful for 
Thy protection of their immortal Fathers, and 
who will strive to elect men to wield their 
destinies, who cherish Thee, and will legislate 
for the honor and welfare and glory of their 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



3 



beloved country. Do not desert them, God! 
is the fervent prayer of millions of noble 
Americans, and of all naturalized foreigners, 
who truly love Thee, and the free and sunny 
laud of their adoption. 

Does Mayor Tiemann know what became 
of the Lime Kiln Man? Most horrible 
disclosures ! In God's name, where are 
the People ? 

William O. Webb, now Superintendent of 
Potter's Field, who was appointed by the Ten 
Governors, sold and delivered last winter, five 
hundred corpses to the body snatchers, and 
has sold about the same number for several 
winters past, for which he and others received 
$17 for each corpse, forming an aggregate of 
$8,500 that was received each winter. The 
bodies are disinterred in the night, during the 
favorable tides, and carried from Potter' sField 
to the Dead House, on the shore of Ward's 
Island, — sometimes in a sleigh, and sometimes 
in a wheelbarrow, — and delivered to the body 
snatchers, awaiting their arrival at the Dead 
House. William O. Webb directs the grave 
diggers to give no corpses to the body snatch- 
ers, who died of small pox, or other contagious 
diseases, nor badly mutilated bodies. Michael 
Gilmore was an Assistant Grave Digger, and 
is now a clerk of the Superintendent of Pot- 
ter's Field. Wm. O. Webb's salary is $800 per 
annum — a house free of rent — a farm — fuel, and 
provisions, from the Ten Governors — and four 
paupers and a servant to manage his farm. 
Sometimes he has fifteen paupers to work his 
farm. Webb's clerk receives $400 a year, and 
his wife $200, and they have a large house 
and extensive grounds, and a servant and fuel 
and provisions from the Ten Governors. 
"Webb employs a boy, about sixteen years old, 
who buries the dead, and who has $300 per 
annum. This boy receives the dead bodies, 
and selects such as the Doctors desire, imme- 
diately on their reception at Potter's Field. 
Sometimes an arm or a leg is dissevered, and 
sold to the Doctors. After the bodies are re- 
moved, the coffins are sawed and chopped, and 
packed in bags, and taken to Harlem, and used 
as fire wood. The bodies are stripped of their 
dead clothes, and the best part sold in the city, 
as apparel, and the residue as rags, which con- 
st, 'intly exposes the city to contagion. The 
Ten Governors are familiar with these facts, 
and have some knowledge of what is done 
with the money that is received for the dead 
bodies. William O. Webb has long been the 
warm personal and political friend of Gover- 
nor Daniel F. Tiemann, whose mutual rela- 
tions have been of such a peculiar nature 
that, although Gov. Tiemann has often been 
apprised of Webb's monstrous proceedings, yet 
he dared not advance a step towards his re- 
moval. Webb's expenses as Superintendent 
of Potter's Field are $5,000 per annum. A 
respectable man, with the best security, 
proposed to Mayor Tiemann, when he was 
Governor, to assume the management of 
Potter's Field, for $1,000 per annum, without 
the salaries, houses, farms, paupers, and ser- 
vants, fuel, and provisions that the Superin- 
tendent and Clerk, and their wives then and 
now receive, forming an aggregate of $5,000 
per annum, exclusive of the $8,500 received by 
the Superintendent and others tor dead bodies. 
And yet, such were the peculiar relations sub- 
sisting between Gov. Tiemann and Mr. Webb, 
that the former dared not accept a proposition 
so favorable to the Treasury of the City, for 
whose economical disbursements Gov.Tiemann 
professes such anxious regard. One of the 
grave diggers refused to sell the body snatch- 
ers any more bodies, and informed Gov. Tie- 
mann of his determination, who exclaimed, 
with much levity : " If you interfere witli their 
business, there will be no inquest held over 



your body." Webb sold the corpse of his number of fools that read their nonsense, and 



wife's uncle, whose name was Brown, a builder, 
and when Brown's relatives desired his body for 
respectable interment, Webb placed another 
corpse in the coffin, and sent it to them, which 
they interred as their dear relative^ The 
Lime Kiln Man was borne to Potter's Field, 
and when his friends heard the sad intelligence 
of his death and pauper interment, they raised 
funds, which they gave to Webb, with direc- 
tions to exhume and respectably inter him. 
But Webb could not find the Lime Kiln Man, 
and placed another corpse in a coffin, and 
buried it, and when the friends of the Lime 
Kiln Man came to Potter's Field, Mr. Webb 
led^them to a grave, which" he assured them 
was the Lime Kiln Man's. At my trial, on 
the first Monday in August, I shall summon 
the Doctor, and the body snatchers connected 
with him, and the superintendent, clerk, grave 
diggers, and all others engaged in this awful 
sacrilege, to unmask the scoundrels connected 
with our public institutions. 

Bennett, Greeley, and Raymond. 

New York is the seat of Commerce, afflu- 
ence, intelligence, and journalism, and the 
devii has placed at the head of the Press, three 
such rogues as Bennett, Greeley, and Ray- 
mond. I have personally known these des- 
perate jugglers for twenty years, and if the 
reader is sceptical, when I brand them as un- 
paralleled scoundrels, let him refer to the files 
of these editors, who fiercely denounce, and 
clearly prove each other to be incomparable 
villains, and in parallel columns, they assume 
to be the censors of the public morals, and 
anathematise rogues of every grade and coun- 
try, whom they strive to allure to the 
embraces of the sacred virtues. The mighty 
destinies of our country are in the grasp of 
heartless black mail editors, and Bennett, 
Greeley, and Raymond never unite in matters 
of public good, nor in the election of meritori- 
ous citizens to public office. And when they 
scream loudest for the propagation of the pub- 
lic virtues, and the creation of wise public 
measures, their eyes are fastened on the devil, 
and his imps, and overshadowing schemes of 
public plunder. Their opinions have not half 
the force and purity of the humblest citizens, 
and yet, like foreign despots, they thrust their 
heresies into our skulls, and in connection 
with officials, as infamous as themselves, 
(whom they elect,) they trample our most 
sacred rights, and slyly appropriate the public 
treasure, and violate all laws, human and di- 
vine, and from whose editorial edicts there is 
no appeal. And thus the public evils of our 
country flow from such polluted sources, as 
the Herald, Times, and Tribune, If these 
three editors were as pure and patriotic as 
they profess to be, they would unite in the 
advocation of honest men for office, and dis- 
charge their thievish correspondents at Albany 
and Washington, (who are in collusion with 
official robbers, by direction of their employ- 
ers,) and invariably oppose the election of 
vicious men to office'. Bennett, Greely, and 
Raymond, and other editorial rogues, never 
advocate the election of a man to office, with- 
out the pledge of a share of his influence and 
spoils, which is the real source of our public 
evils. They black mail on a scale of startling 
magnitude and boldness. They watch, with 
ceaseless vigilance, for facilities to seize the 
pap from the private and public purse. They 
level their fleetest and most envenomed ar- 
rows at the subordinate municipal officers, 
Mayors, Governors, National 'Collectors, Re- 
presentatives, Senators, Cabinet officers, and 
the President, himself, whom they force to 
yield to their demands, or they spread terror 
into the camps of these public vultures. Ben- 
nett, Greeley, and Raymond have obtained 
their prodigious power, through the large 



black mail philippics. If these idiots would 
cease to read their vile and selfish stuff, and 
patronise those editors who proclaim the 
truth, and strive to promote the public wel- 
fare, such men as Bennett, Greeley, and Ray- 
mond would soon become the paupers and 
loafers and scamps of twenty years ago, when 
they had no place to lay their wicked skulls, 
nor credit for a loaf of bread. 

The Peter Cooper Institute! 

In front of this sham Institute is painted, in 
blazing letters: "These Stores, and the Story 
above to Let. Enquire in office, 2d story." 
And Peter might have advertised a portion of 
the stories above the two lower stories, as ho 
has rooms to let in every story of the build- 
ing. Even around the lecture room, in the 
second and third stories, he has constructed 
small rooms to let to any adventurer who 
comes along. Such was his avarice, and so 
greedy was he to gouge all the area he possi- 
bly could from earth and Heaven, that he dug 
as far towards China as he dared, and ap- 
proached Heaven's dome, until his architect 
warned him to stop, lest the whole edifice 
tumble into one common ruin, so feeble was 
the building's foundation. And now, Peter 
Cooper! I demand you to instantly surrender 
your right and that of your heirs, (including 
Mayor Tiemann and Edward Cooper.) to the 
building known as the Cooper Institute. You 
have made a great noise, for half a dozen years, 
about your extraordinary philanthropy, and 
you have publicly proclaimed, a thousand 
times, that you intended to give your "Art 
and Science" edifice to the city, entirely for 
educational purposes. And you have got its 
tax of $8,000 reduced with this plea. And you 
have also got the Croton water tax removed, 
although you have got a steam engine in the 
building. And yet you still hold the proper- 
ty, in the name of yourself and heirs, and from 
what I know of your penurious propensities, 
I could almost swear that you never meant to 
give it to the city. Was not the building pub- 
licly dedicated long since? And where are 
the three thousand pupils, with green satchels, 
with whom we all expected to see the build- 
ing teem? There is more cheerfulness and 
utility in the deserts of Arabia, and the classic 
ruins and crumbling desolations of the Ancient 
States, than in the dismal and Shylock echoes 
of your bogus and uncomely structure. And 
why do you still clutch it to your heart, like 
an expiring miser, his miserable dross? And 
why did you so construct the building, as to 
render it utterly inappropriate for students ? 
You have told beggars, high and low, for half 
a dozen years, that you could not give them 
a crurn of thread, because you were devoting 
all your surplus means to the construction of 
the Cooper Institute. And now that it is 
erected, and you have got all you desired, 
(and have toiled thirty years to achieve,) in 
the election of Tiemann, your son-in-law, as 
Mayor, through your specious and fallacious 
Philanthropy, and in the appointment of Ed- 
ward Cooper, your own son, as Street Com- 
missioner, by Tiemann, — after you have reach- 
ed the goal of your miserly and ungodly am- 
bition, and have got all New York in your 
breeches pocket, I find you apply your fingers 
to your infernal nose, and hurl defiance at the 
people, whom you have bamboozled, and 
evince a disposition to forever hold the build- 
ing over which you have raised such a clatter 
for half a dozen years, and now actually ad- 
vertise the stores and rooms of nearly the en- 
tire edifice, and of course, will put the rents 
in yonr yawning pockets, in the name of the 
President and Board of Trustees of the im- 
mortal Cooper Institute, which illustrious 
Chartered Body only comprises Peter Cooper! 
Peter ! Peter! you are a consummate impos- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



tor, and all tfce people will soon conceive you 
to be so, unless yon instantly disgorge the 
property you long promised t<> give them for 
educational purposes. And now, Peter, go t<> 
the City Hall at once, and record the Institute 
in the name of the people, who will ever bless 
you for your noble philanthropy. 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit— From two to four seconds, or as long as the Ad> 
rertlser can hold his breath ! Letters And Advertisements to 
be left at No. 114 Nassau street, second story, front room. 

-Li GARDENERS.— City Inspector's Department, 
New fork, June U5, 1868.— In conformity with the following 
tion, the space therein mentioned will be permitted to 
be used as a place, by .farmers and gardeners, for the sale of 
vegetables and garden produce, until the hour of I- o*i i i i., 
M , daily — the use to be free of charge : 

Et ■•■ Ived Tltat permission be, and is hereby, {riven to funn- 
els and market garcLenprs, to occupy daily, until 12 M., free of 
charge, the vacant space of the northern and southern extra 
itiesofthe intersection of Broadway and .Sixth avenue, be- 
tween Thirty-second and Thirty-fifth streets^ without Infring- 
ing up n the streets which the said space intersects, for the 
purpose uuly oi celling vegetables and market produce, of their 
own farms or gardens, under the supervision of the City In 
spector. 

Also, by resolution of the Common Council, The use of 
Gouverneur slip is granted to farmers aud gardeners for the 
side of produce from wagons. 

GEO. W. MORTON, Citv Inspector. 

JOSEPH CANNING. Sup't of Markets. 



FULLMER AND \VofU>, TARMAGE Manufacturers. 
239 West luih Street, New York. 
Horse-shoeing done ivii h despatch; and in the most scl- 
ent. fk' manner, and on reasi nable terms. 



MC SPE0ON AND BAKER'S STATIONERY WARE- 
house and Envelope Manufactory, No's. 2'.', 31, and 
33, Beekman Street, New York. 

Envelopes of all patterns, styles, and quality, mi hand, 
and made to order for the trade and others, by Steam Ma- 
chinery. Pa'ented April 8ih, 1856. 



COREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S EX- 
cbange, Wall Btrei t. N. « York.-Notaries Public undCom- 

i. .i -.].,],, . r ,. — United StateS I'd-spnrN issued in 36 hours,— 
Bills of-Excnauge, Drafts, and Notes pretested,— .Marine pro- 
tests noted and extended. 

EDWIN F. COREY, 
EDWIN F. COREY, Jr. 



J VAN TINE, SHANGAE RESTAURANT, 
• No. 2, Dey street, New York. 



k% TIC 



J. W. BARKER, GENERAL AUC- 

ONEEHS fit REAL ESTATE BROKERS. Loans 
negotiated, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks and Bunds 
Sold at Auction ot Private Sale, 

Also, FURNITURE S"ALES attended to at private houses. 
Office, 14 Pine street, under Commonwealth Bank. 



NOTICE— TO PERSONS KEEPING SWINE, 
OWNERS OF PROPERTY WHERE THE SAME 
MAY BE KEPT, AND ALL OTHERS INTERESTED. At 



_._STED. At 
a meeting of the Mayor and Commissioners of Health, held 
at the City Hall of the City of New York, Friday, June' I3th, 
1858, the following preamble and resolutions -were adopted : 

\\ hereas, A large number of swine are kept in various por- 
tion! oi the city; and whereas, it is the general practice of 
I as bo keeping awine, to boil offal and kitchen refuse and 

garbage, whereby a highly offensive and dangerous nuisance 
io created, tlitretme, he it 

Resolved, That this Board, of the Mayor and Commission- 
ers oi Health, deeming swine Eept'soutn of (86th) street, in 
this city, to be creativeofa nuisance and detrimental to the 
public health; therefore; the City Fnspectoi be, and he is here- 
by, authorized and directed to take, seize, aud remove from 
any and all places and premises, all and every swine found or 
kepi nil any premises in any place in the city of New \ ori 
southerly of said street, aud to cause all such swine to be re- 
moved to the Politic Pound, or othersuitable place beyondthe 
limits of the city or northerly >.t said street and to cause all 
premises or places wherein, "or on which, said swine ow 
have been so found or kept, to bethoroughly cleaned and putt 
It"-] ;i the City Inspector shall deem neiWsary to Secure the 
preservation of the public health, and that all expenses in- 
curred thereby constitute a lien 'on the lot, lots or premises 
from which said nuisance shall have been abated or removed 

Resolved, That the foregoing resolutions shall take effect 
from and alter the iirst day of July next, and that public no- 
tice he given <.t the Barqe by.publication in the Corporation 
papers to that date, and that notice maybe given to persons 
keeping swine by circulars delivered on the premises, aud 
that all violations of this order be prosecuted by the proper 
legal authorities, on complaint from the City Inspector or bis 
officers. 

City Inspector's Department, ) 
New York, June 18, 1858. J 

All persons keeping swine, or upon whose property Or prem- 
ier- I lie same m iv |„- k-'pt, are hnel,-, ],■ titled that "the above 
resolutions will be strictly enforced from and after the first 
day ol July next. 

GEO. W. MORTON, City Inspector. 



CAKLTON HOUSE, 49G BROADWAY, NEW 
York. Bates and Holden, Proprietors, 

THEOPHILUS BATES. 
OREL J. HOLDEN. 



TRIMMING MANUFACTURERS. — 13. 
YATES & CO., 639 Broadwai, New York. 
Fringes, Cords, Tassels, Loops, Gimps, 
and Gimp Bands, 



s. 



W M i 



COULTER, Carpenter. — I have long 

been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who 
will favor me with their patronage, that I will build as good 
houses, or anything else in my line, as any other carpenter in 
the city of New York. I will also be as reasonable in charges 
for my work as any other person. 

WILLIAM COULTER. Carpenter. 
Rear of 216 East Twentieth street, New- York. 



GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND 
Commission Merchants, No. 100, Wall street, corner of 
Front street, New York. 



WW. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 
• 9 Chamber street, near Chatham street, New York. 



COLOMON BANTA, Architect, No. 93 Amos 

lO street, New York. I have built as many houses and stores 
as any Architect in this city, or the United States, aud I can 

Eroduce vonchers to that effect ; arid I flatter myself that I can 
uild editiees thut will compare favorably,- In point 61 beauty 
and durability, with those of any architect in this Country. "I 
am prepared to receive orders in my line of business at No 
m Amos street. New York. "SOLOMON BANTA. 



ROBERT ONDERDONK — THIRTEENTH 
Ward Hotel, 405 and 407 Grand street, corner of Clinton 
street, New York. 



FRANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE 
ami RETAIL CLOTHING fc FURNISHING WARE- 
HOI SE, 7ii and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester sts. 
New York. Lunze and elegant assortment of Youths' and 
Boys' Clothing. F. B. BALDWIN, 

J. G. BARSU.M. 

F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense 
Establishment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY ' An en- 
tire New Stock of GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S and CHIL- 
DKFrN'S CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best 
workmen in the city, is now opened for inspection. Also a 
superior stock of FURNISHING GOODS. All articles are 
ot the I'.est Quality, and having been purchased duriuj: the 
crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERY LOW! The Custom De- 
partment contains the greatest variety of CLOTHS t ASSI- 
MERES, and VESTINGS. 

Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BAR- 
NUM. who has had great experience in the business, having 
bi I ,, thirty years connected with the leading Clothing Es£ 
toblisbments of the city. 

THOMAS A. DUNN, 50G EIGHTH AVENUE, 
has a very choice assortment of Wines, Brandies Cor- 
dials and Segan, winch he will sell at prices that will yield a 
fcir profit. All my democratic friends, and my immediate as- 
sociates in the Boards of Aldermen and Councilmen are re- 
■pe< tfully invited to call in their rambles throuphEig hth Ave- 
nue, and enjoy a good Havana fiegar, and nice, flparklinc 
Champagne., and very exhilerating brandy. For the segarij 1 
will charge my political friends and associates only fire pence 
each, and for the brandy only ten pence per half gill, and for 
the < hampagne only four shillings a glass, or two dollars a bot- 
tle. 

So call, kind friends, and Bins a glee, 
And laugh and smoke and drink wiih me, 
Sweet Sangaree 
Till you can't see: 
( Chorui — At your expense ! 

(Which pays my rents,) 
For my fingers do you see 
O'er my nose gyrating free ? 
, THOMAS A. DUNN, No. 506 Eighth avenue. 



WILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR, & OFFICE 
Furniture Dealer and Manufacturer, 
No. 2"9 Broadway, corner of Read street New York. Room 
No. 15. 



FASHION HOUSE.— JOSEPH HYDE PRO- 
prietor. corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, 
and Cigars of the best brands. He invites his friends to give 
him a call. Prompt and courteous attention given Ins patrons. 



WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND 
COUNSELLOR AT LAW, No. 17G Chatham street, 
New York. Any business entrusted to his charge from citi- 
zens of this city or any part of the country, w-ill receive prompt 
and faithful attention, and be conducted on reasonable tern,, 
WILLIAM A. CONKLIN. 



HERRING'S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR- 
glar Proof Safe, with Hall's Patent Powder Proof 
Locks, afford the greatest security of any Safe in the world. 
Also. Sideboard and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship 
and finish, for plate, <fec. S. C. HERRING & CO., 

251 Broadway. 



EDWARD PHAI.ON & SON, 497 and 517 Broadway, 
New York— Depots for the sale of Perfumery, and 
every article connected with the Toilet. 

We now introduce the "BOUQUET D'OGARITA, or 
Wild Flower of Mexico, 11 which is superior to any thing of 
the Kind in the civilized world. 

EDWARD PHAI.ON & SON. 



QAM1 II. SNEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER.— 
iJ My Office is at No. 81 Corlears street, New York; and 
my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have built 
Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a 
long term of years, and continue to do so on reasonable 
SAMUEL SNEDEN. 



JOHN IS. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, 71S WATER STREET 
My Boats are of models and materials unsurpassed by 
those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me a call, 
and if I don't please you, I will disdain to charge you for 
what does not entirely satisfy you. JOHN B. WEBB. 



ALANSON T. BRIGGS— DEALER IN FLOUR BARRELS, 
Molasses Casks, Water, and all other kinds of Casks. 
Also, new Hour barrels .and half-barrels; a large supply 
constantly on hand. My Stores are at Nos. C'2, fi", 01, 69, 
7:;, T5, 77 and 79 Rutger'fl Slip ; at 285, 237, and 289 Cherry 
street ; also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and 
Rutger's Slip, extending from street to street. My yards in 
Williamsburgta. are at Furman & Co.'s Dock. My yards in 
New York are at the corner of Water and Gouverneur 
streets; and in Washington street, near Canal ; and at Le- 
roy Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger's Slip. 

ALANSON T. BRIGGS. 



FULTON IRON WORKS.— JAMES MURPHY & CO., 
manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, 
&c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, East 
River. 



BRADDICK & HOGAN, SAILMAKERS, No. 272 South 
Street, New Yoik. 
Awnings, Tents, and Bags made to order. 

JESSE A. BRADDICK, 
RICHARD HOGAN. 



JN. GENIN, FASHIONABLE HATTER, 214 Broad- 
• way 



vay, New York. 



GENIN'S LADIES' & CHILDREN'S OUTFITTING 
Bazaar, 513 Broadway, (St Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.) 



WILLIAM M. SOMERVIL1.E, WHOLESALE AND 
Retail Druggist and Apothecary, 205 Bleecker-st , 
corner MineUa, opposite Cottage Place, New York. All the 
popular Patent Medicines, fresh Swedish Leeches, Cup- 
ping, &c. Physicians' Prescriptions accurately prepared. 
WM. M. SO.MEKVILLE. 



AW. <fc T. HUME, MERCHANT TAILORS, No. 
. 82 Sixth Avenue, New York. We keep a large and 
elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman re- 
quires. We make Coats, Vests and Pants, aRer the latest 
Parisian fashions, and on reasonable terms. 

A. W. & T. HUME. 



I-'HE WASHINGTON, By BARTLETT & GATES, 
No. 1 Broadway, New Y'ork. Come and see us, good 
friends, and eat and drink and be merry, in the same capa- 
cious and patriutic halls where the immortal Washington's 
voice and laugh once reverberated. 
O come to our Hotel, 
And you'll be treated well. 
BARTLETT & GATES. 



EXCELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 CENTRE ST., IS 
furnished with every facility, latest improved presses, 
and the newest styles of type— for the excution of Book, 
Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens. 



C1HARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, 
J 1808,) Sign of the Golden Horse,? 



(ESTABLISHED IN 
. 9 Bowery, New York, 
opposite the Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his articles as low as 
any other Saddler in America, and warrant them to be equal 
to any in the World. 



H. 



N. .WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 
451 Broadway, bet. Grand and Howard streets, New 
York. My Iceland Moss and Flaxseed Candy will cure 
Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time. 



MRS. S. S. BIRD'S LADIES' AND GENTLE. 
men's Dm ng aud Oyster Saloons, No 31 Canal street 
near East Broadway, and 2G4 Division street, New York 
Oysteri Pickled to Order. 



JAMES MELENFY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAMUEL 
Hopper,) Grocer, and Wholesale and Retail Dealer in 
Pure Country Milk. Teas, Coffee, Sugars & Spices. Flour, 
Bntter, Lard. Cheese, Eggs <tc No. 158, Eighth Avenue, 
Near 18th Street, New York, families supplied by leaving 
their address at ihe Store. 



BOOT If SHOE EMPORIUMS. EDWIN A. BROOKS, 
Importer and Manufacturer of Boots, Shoes * Gaiters, 
Wholesale and Retail, No. 575 Broadway, and 150 Fulton 
Street, New York. 



JW. MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE and 
i Retail dealers in all kinds of chairs. Wash Stands, 
Settees, 4c. 377 & 379 Pearl Street. New Y'ork. 

Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping. 



BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN Heal 
Estate. Houses and stores and lots lor sale in all 
parts of the city. Office at the junction oi' Broadway, 
Seventh Avenue, and Forty-Sixth Street. 



FOLEY'S CELEBRATED " GOLD PENS.' 
For sale by all Stationers and Jewellers. 
OFFICE AND STORE, 

1G3 BROADWAY. 



JAMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD,— 
Twenty-sixth street and Second Avenue. I always have 
all hinds of coal uu hand, and of the very best quality, which 
I will sell as low as any other coal dealer in the United State9 
JAMES DONNELLY. 



JAMES GRIFFITHS, (Late CHATFIELD & GRIFFITHS,) 
No. 273 Grand st., New York. A large stock of well-se- 
lected Cloths, Cassimeres, Vesting?, &c , on hand. Gent's, 
Youths' and Children's Clothing, Cut and Made in the most 
approved style. All cheap for Cash. 



Ji 



AGATE & CO., MEN'S FURNISHING GOODS 
and Shirt Manufacturers, 256 Broadway, New Y'ork 
Shirts made to order and guaranteed to fit. 
J. AGATE, F. W. TAL KINGTON. 



BILLIARD TABLES.— PIIELAN'S IMPROVED BIL- 
liard Tables and Combination Cushions — Protected by 
letters patent, dated Feb. 19, 1856 ; Oct. 28, 1856 ; Dec. 8, 
1S57; Jan. 12, 1858. The recent improvements in these 
Tables make them unsurpassed in the world. They are 
now offered to th6 scientific Billiard players as combining 
speed with truth, never before obtained in any Billiard Table. 
Sales-rooms Nos. 780 and 788 Broadway, New York. Manu- 
factory No. 53 Ann Street. 

O'CONNOR & COLLENDOR, Sole Manufacturers. 

OLMSTEAD, IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER 
and Jobber of Men's Furnishing Goods, No. 24 Bar- 
clay Street, corner of Church, New York. 

CB. HATCH, HILLER & MERSEREAU, Importers 
i and Jobbers of Men's Furnishing Goods, and Manu- 
facturers of the Golden Hill Shirts, 99 Chambers Street, N 
E. corner Church Street, New York. 



C L. 
KJt an 



LA. ROSENMIXLER, DRUGGIST, NO. 172 EIGHTH 
• Avenue, New York. C unping & Leeching. Medi- 



cines at all hours. 




Volume I.— No. 17. 



SATURDAY, AUGUST 14, 1858. 



Price 2 Cents. 



TRIAL OF STEPHEN H. BRANCH, 

FOR "'"^ 

LIBEL. 

For want of room we omit the evidence and 
insert summing up of counsel for defendant, 
remarks of Mr. Branch, sentence, by the Re- 
eorder and opinions of the Press 

' [From, the .V. )' 
" r ^" '"""SUMMING up fos DEFENCE. ^ .-^i 
£? Shortly after the opening of the Court, Mr. 
Ashmead rose and commenced to sum up for 
th» defence. He opened by pointing out the 
res] ^risibilities of the Jury, stating that should 
they find a verdict in favor of the prosecution, 
it would establish a precedent which would 
strike a serious blow at the liberty of the citi- 
zen. He characterized the prosecution as one 
of the most extraordinary character. In com- 
menting on the experience of the opposing coun- 
sel, he said he remembered a comment by a most 
eminent divine, on the words of Solomon, "I 
have never seen the righteous forsaken, nor 
Ms seed begging their bread," namely, that 
what Solomon had not seen he had. He spi >kc 
strongly against the fact that the prosecution 
had originated with the Grand Jury, instead of 
taking the - action before a' committing magis- 
trate, having a preliminary examination. 
Here was a citzen, humble if they pleased, on- 
one side, while on the other was the Mayor of 
the greatest city in the New World, and these 
officers of the Grand Jury, forgetting that in 
this republic all should be treated alike, en- 
eroached upon the liberty of this citizen by 
stepping out of their nsual course.* Should the 
jury adopt the precedent of convicting a man 
under such circumstances, then God help the 
liberty of the citizen; but the consequence-. 

' would rest upon the heads of them ami their 
children. [Mr. Ashmead here read extracts 
from the opinions of eminent Judges, showing 
that a prisoner had a right to a preliminary ex- 
amination before the case could go before the 
Grind Jury.] But fcia unfortunate man u.i- 
not so served; he knew nothing of the accu- 
sation, nor 'was he brought face to face with 

■ his powerful accusers. Were this man immac- 
ulate, he stood, under these circumstances, sub- 
ject to all the lightning eleqnonoe of the oppo- 
site side, and was not able to do as was his 
right, namely, bring an action for damages 
against his accusers, because the responsibility 
rested with the public prosecutor. 

Mr. Ashmead continued to read from the 
same book, contending that no indictment! 
should bo smuggled into a Grand Jury room 






as this had been. The Mayor, or the Gov- 
ernor, or His Honor on the Bench had no right 
to adopt a system denied to the meanest citizen; 
and in their anxiety ti5 [juuish crime, they 
should take care that they did not strike a 
blow at the liberty of the community, nor 
should Judicial Legislation take away the 
rights of the citizen. The Jury should take 
care that this man was not made a victim 
through the variation of the Grand Jury from 
the usual course; but they should follow the 
example of English Grand Juries, and take 
care how they struck a blow at Constitutional 
rights. He next referred to the noble speech 
of Robert Emmet, before Lord Norburv, who 
several times attempted to stop the criminal 
when speaking before he was sentenced. lie 
said : " Though I am to be sacrificed, I insist 
that all the forms be gone through." Let the 
Jury, then do a- Emmet did to Lord Norbury 
— make the Mayor go through the forms. 
(Here McKeon smiled.) And though the Dis- 
trict Attorney should smile at these remarks, 
this matter was serious, and a laugh and a 
sneer were not an argument. He referred to 
the case of tlie libel of Macintosh, where, it 
was asserted, there was on one Btde a NTapo 
[eon I hi eulei > '.I ■ r ■ itest empire in the 
world, and On tic other, Sis in this case, a poor 
and obsen yet in that case a British 

Jury fciuigbl futur i g aerations a lesson, andi 
show h an American Jury 

should endeavor to follows TJ ^^m 

Mr. Ashmead next read from the revised 
statutes, showing thai m iceused person should 
have a preliming i before being 

indicted, md contended that agreat privilege 
had beeii taken from Ids client, and by this 
mi ins had b ■> ■■ liberties 

of tl I tVtud ■ 1 to the fact that 

Mr, i . . 'i ifpre i I Irand 

Jut") ..; '!■. and yet : id been in- 

dicted For a lib this w i '''"I 

ing v. the J 

establii ipirl'e • eal ing down 

all the : - ■ ' .i'li- irrdumled 

the citizen. He. insisted that the prosecution 
had taken away everj privilege fromthis man. 
an.l enviroaed him by a wall, so that hi ob'uld 
not escape, by getting up this Trinity of 
indictments. These three indictments were 
united so that one should support the other. 
The Recorder had said that Mr. Draper was 
old enough to take care of himself, but wis-* 
doni didn't come with length of year--, and 
certainly Simeon Draper was not bred in the 
school of Chesterfield, for he forgot common 
courtesy by saying the alleged libel was a lie. 
Mr. Ashmead then commented on the conduct 



of the prosecution in putting in only one half 
of the libel in the indictment, and keeping out 
that part which had a foundation in truth, 
which he said was a piece with the remainder 
of these proceedings. Such conduct struck 
a serious blow at our free institutions, and as 
Erskine said if such proceedings were to ob- 
tain, our halls of justice would be turned into 
altars, and the poor victim would be immola- 
ted at the shrine of persecution. 

Mr. Ashmead then proceeded to explain the 
the law of libel, contending that it was n. 
sary that "malice" should be proved, in or- 
der to sustain an indictment for libel. He 
spoke of the law in England, which would not 
permit the truth to be given in evidence, and 
contrasted such with the laws of New York, 
which provided that if an article was publish- 
ed without malice, it, was not libellous ; for it 
permitted a reporter to publish the proceed- 
ings of a meeting or of a legislative body 
without holding him liable, provided it was 
proved that it had been published without mal- 
ic. . The counsel then commented on the re- 
mark made by the Recorder relative to his 
taking no decisions but his own, and that Mr. 
Ashmead's points would not be fit for a Karns- 
chatka Court, and proceeded to justify his own 
course in the matter. 

The Recorder remarked that Mr. Ashmead 
must have«forgotten his own observations, he 
had said that "a certain decision had been 
made by one of the Judges of this Court" and 
that caused his Honor to make the remark to 
which he had alluded. *~ .i^p 1 —'''-.^- 

Mr. Ashmead replied that it had been so 
ruled in this Court in the case of Coleman vs. 
Magoon, in 1818. The Counsell then pointed 
o.iil the fact that Mayor Tiemann had testified 
that he had been ■ >okeu to on this subleet near- 
id wanted to know why he had 
ursued the originator of these stories. 
■ily that Branch did not origi- 
nate • J , and that therefore there 
wa> no mail in bis part. — He complained 
that the testimony for the defence had been 
entirely shut out by objections, and asked why 
the Mayor did not come in manfully and clear 
hi- skirls of these charges, without shielding 
himself under technicalities. He, however did 
not pursue the originator of this story, but 
when this poor man who considered himself 
a sentinel upon the watch-tower of this great 
city, exposed what lie considered to be cor- 
ruption in high places, then tho Mayor pounced 
upon him. Why did not tho Mayor go into the 
civil court, as ho could havo done, and then this 
poor man could stand on an equal footing with 
him, and tell his own story? In God's name if 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



they wanted a victim let them take him, but 
they should not condemn him without show of 
a trial. If a sacrifice was required Mr. Branch 
was ready to be immolated ; but here was an 
extraordinary fact. Why did not Mayor Tie- 
man bring forward the matron ? He had seen 
her before witnesses. If this thing was done, 
no one knew it but his Excellency the Mayor, 
and this lady. No eye but that of the Omisci- 
ent One above, saw the act if it had occurred ? 
Why, then, did he not bring this lady here, 
and then if she swore that it did not occur, 
there was an end of the matter. But they 
might ask, why did not he (Counsel) bring the 
lady ? For a very sensible and legal reason, be- 
cause, if he had brought her into Court, she 
would become his own witness, and he could 
not bring evidence to contradict her, whereas, 
if Mayor Tiemann had put her on the stand, and 
she had told her statement, then they could 
have cross-examined her and brought Evans 
and other witnesses to contradict her. If, there- 
fore, the prosecution had examined her, and 
other evidence would have been admitted 
which had been shut out, but by the course the 
prosecution had pursued half the defence was 
made non-effective. He admitted that what 
was acknowledged by the Mayor did not amount 
to proof, yet it was very extraordinary. The 
Mayor admitted that there was a friend who 
visited the lady whom he ordered should not 
be allowed on the island. — There was no im- 
propriety shown in these visits; he came every 
Sunday, he behaved himself, and yet he was 
interdicted. Now there was other matrons 
there ; they had friends, no doubt, and yet this 
lady was the only one selected for deprivation 
of her friend's society. This to say the least of 
it was very extraordinary. Another thing, the 
Mayor had lent this lady money, but he lent 
money to no other matron. Now this was cu- 
rious, if lie was simply friendly to this lady he 
would not prevent her other friends from com- 
ing to see her, or did he give this money to the 
lady, and give her the money for her torn dress 
to compensate her for interdicting her friend 
from visiting the island ? 

But this was not alone, — Mr. Draper sus- 
pended this lady, and the Mayor persuaded her 
to write an apologetic note, and so she got re- 
stored. Now this was a friend indeed a friend 
he was going to say that " sticketh closer than 
a brother" (laughter), but he allowed her to 
have no friend but himself, although one would 
suppose that a lone woman should be sur- 
rounded by friends. Now these little things 
loomed up curiously, but his honor was not 
content with being h-er friend, he was the 
friend of her boy ? He said it vfas his duty to 
procure situations for boys; yes, certainly; but 
this boy was not then in New York at all — he 
was in the far West, and not under the control 
of the Alms House Governors at all. He had 
been sent safely away from the temptations of 
this great Metropolis: and yet the Mayor 
brought him back, and provided for him — 
proving himself the friend of the boy's mother 
in every way, except that of letting her other 
friend come on the island. The Mayor was 
willing to lend her money, to get her boy a 
situation, to get her friend, Waters, a situation, 
and to do everything for her except to allow 
her friend to see her. He did not say that this 
proved anything against Mayor Tiemann ; he I 

W.1S an honorable 'mil nnrio-tit inon oo fov no tllm m l qualification!!, and he Bent me to Mr. Van Rensselaer, 
was an nonoiaote ,inu upilgnt man, as tar as]vmderthe Journal 0/ Commerce. I taught a colored boy for him; 

which he gave me my board. Ilostniy i c.lth, and finally— but 
on't mention names— I taught a candidate for Alderman of the 
Fourteenth "Ward. That was the first nubile man Ievertaughtin 
New York. There was a man namta Gouraud, a Frenchman, a 
teacher oftheartof memory. I found lie was trying to humbug 
thepubrlc. I saw he was an impostor, and exposed him. He had 
si-cured the press and the people, and I exposed him. I attended 
his lectures, and saw there William Cullen Bryant, Horace Oreely, 



the Judge wanted the word only left out, and 
Mr. Erskine defended the verdict, notwith 
standing that the Judge threatened to proceed 
in another manner. Erskine replied that he 
knew his duty as an advocate, as weD as His 
Lordship knew his as a Judge. 

Mr. Ashmead then submitted several points, 
— upon which he argued, — namely : That if the 
libel was published with au holiest motive, then 
the defendant was guiltless: that the Jury, in 
in Libel cases were judges of the law as well 
as of the fact, they having the right and the 
sole right to determine what was and what 
was not a libel, and this was the law in England 
and Ireland, also. He contended that according 
to the Mayor's testimony the base of the libel 
was true, and if so, he begged and pleaded 
that the Jury would not, for the sake of truth, 
for the sake of an innocent man, for the sake 
of a newspaper publisher, who did no fabricate 
what he wrote, for the sake of the liberty of 
the press, immolate this humble citizen. But 
he concluded, if Branch must be immolated, he 
had only to say in the words of that immortal 
Irishman Curran : — 

" If it be determined that because this man 
would not bow to power and authority, be- 
cause he would not bow down to the golden 
calf and worship it, he should be cast in the 
fiery furnace, I do trust in God that there is a 
redeeming spirit in the constitution which will 
go with the sufferer through the flames and 
preserve him unhurt by the conflagration." 

Mr. Ashmead sa£ down amid a burst of ap- 
plause, which was immediately checked. His 
speech which occupied about an honr and a 
half, was spoken of by several as one of the 
most brilliant specimens of logical eloquence 
which has been heard in this Court for years. 
It was listened to with breathless attention by 
the largest audience which had assembled in- 
side those walls since the Huntingdon trial. ]~ 

ilFrom the NewTork Sun.']. |jj , 

EPBEN"| 11, BEANCH'B / SPEECH. 

My counsel has done well. He has made an effort of which I am 
proud, and of which your Honor ought to be proud. 

The Recorder — I am, 6ir, 

Branch— lam sorry' that I have not prepared to address you. I 
came to this country thirty-live years ago, a poor boy. I got a 
clerk's situation at ©2 a weet. Then IwenttoLeary'shatstore, 
in Water Street. Afterwards I went to Harper's, then to the New 
Y oik American, and afterwards to the Evening Post. Then I 
returned to Rhode Island, and went afterwards to Boston, Hart- 
ford, Springfield and New Haven, and worked at the printing 
business, and was the first compositor on the Washington Globe. 
and set up the first article on that paper, which was a comment 
on the conduct of General Jackson, from the pen of Amos 
Ki ndalL I then took a room with Edward Dodge, of Philadelphia, 
and roomed with him some time. My father sent me a letter from 
Providence, and procured for me a situotion in the Post Office, and 
I was there four or five years. I became ambitious, and studied at 
nights. I studied with Thomas F. Carpenter. I left the Post 
Office, and continued my Greek and Latin studies. 1 returned to 
the Post Office, but such was my desire for learning that I went to 
Cambridge Law School, and studied under Judge Story. I min- 
gled with Southern students, and spent much money. They were 



igh-bloodB, and I spent a dissolue winter. I came tack, and went 
to Andovcr, where I resumed my studies in Greek and mathe- 
matics. I then left for Providence, and was unfortunate in my 
domestic life. I left Providence and went to Washington, where I 
got $10 a week at the printing business. I went next to Columbia 
College, when I would take my basket of bread and butter, work 
all day at the job office, walk back to the College at ten o'clock at 
night, and study till daylight. I would then get to the office at 
seven in the morning. 1 lost my health in doing this, and was 
reduced to the verge of the grave. My father remained true to 
me, notwithstanding my domestic misfortunes. I came to New 
York, and saw an advertisement In a paper, that a teacher was 
wanted in Alabama. I secured the sitnation, and afterwards went 
to Apalachicola, thence to Alabama, and taught 6ehool. 1 found 
they were cruel to slaves there. The lady on the plantation used 
to whip the slaves oarly in the morning- it disgusted me, and 1 
went to New Orleans. My brother Albert printed the New 
Orleans Tines. I advertised for a situation as teacher, and soon 
secured one. I remained there till my brother Albert died— no, 1 
am mistaken, he did not die then' I came to New Y'ork, and bad 
but little money left. I could not work at the printing business. 
M y father BU6tained me in the sun and rain, alteough he was a man 
of limited means though of high position, for he was a Judge of 
Rhode Island. 1 went to Arthur Tappan, who introduced me to 
his brother Lewis. I told him that I wanted to teach colored 
te | scholars. I suppose you win call me a lunatic for that. I told 



Counsel knew ; but tbese little circumstances ij™ 
looked suspicious, and it was curious that the 
Mayor had shut out the rest of the testimony. 
The whole case however showed that Mr. 
Branch had not fabricated these stories, and 



certainly did not publish t&etoTnth malice; \^^^£&ti?^^?§£&$&8Sg% 

and therefore he OUght to be acquitted. Mr. [exposed him In various eitiea. I exposed him, and stopped him. 

Ashmead then referred to an extraordinary j SenTgot^ 

conversation between Justice Buller and Mr. pn J? n ^ »™ as possible, and eoiwifi .be brief. 

-r, ,.,,.. . _ The Recorder— There is no desire to get you Into prison, Mr. 

i^rfkme, in a libel case, where the Jury re- ' Branch. 

tnmpfl <* v^rrlfot nf "trniltv nfr,n hHchinn- nvr v» Branch— I taught the Aldermen till the California mania broke 
lunieu a Vei diet OT gUUty OI pil OnsniUg ONLY out, -when I went to California. I wrote a letter to the New York 



Herald, about alligators on the Isthmus, which gave rue the trtle ol 
■"Alligator." 1 taught servants and public men. Alfred Carson 
wanted me In write his reports for him, which I did. In 1866, I 
gotmto the Matsell campaign. I pursued Aim. You allknowthe 
result. I wtnt to Brandon, England, to find his birth place, andl 
found it. Soon after I saw Carson, 1 found that the officers of thte 
city were very corrupt. Carson asked me to write his report*. He 
inlurmed me that the officers around the City Hall interfered wit* 
the affairs of the Fire Department. I advised him to resist ft, I 
wrote bis reports for s. .me years, I got through with the French- 
man, Gouraud. I got through with teaching public men and 
servants, and with the lire and Matsell campaign. J thought I 
would start the Alligator. I did, and/ dont regret it. There* 
a gang of thieves around the City Hall, and your Honor knows H» 
and we all know it. I purcuecf them hard, days and nights for 
years, in defence of honesty, lntfustry, and the tax-payers, rich and 
poor, but especially the poor, who go to comer groceries, bare- 
footed, naked, who live in attics. I— a lunatic, so-called, have 
passed my days in their defence. Ask Carson : ask Harry Howard 
— I saw him here to-dav — ask t he editors, if I have not passed the 
midnight hours in their editorial habitations— if I have not been 
true to them, to Carson, and all for whom I profeawd friendship — to 
all whom I found advocating the cause of the poor tas-payerB ? 
Do I regret the establishment of the Alligator f No; and why? 
I have attacked thieves Indiscriminately. Hitherto these rue* 
had reputation as public officers, and amid tears oftentimes, my 
shafts have fallen harmless. But now, 1 have struck at a dynasty 
which has existed in this city for thirty years, the Peter Cooper 
guild. He w;is Hlderman in 1828, '29, and '40. Tiemann was 
Alderman in llvi9, '44, '62, and "63. Through Denman, who was a 
pupil of mine, I first heard that Tiemann and Cooper were corrmpt 
men. 

The Recorder— Mr. Branch, I must stop you. You cannot be 
allowed to use sueh language In this Court. 

Mr. Ashmead— Will your Honor remember the case of Lord 
Norbnry, to which I drew your attention this morning ? 

Recorder — 1 remember Lord Norburv, and evory other lord, bnt 
I cannot permit such language. 

Branch— I will spare your feelings. Peter Cooper and tm 
daughter I taught in hia own house. He does not deny it; but, X 
1 had taught my father, and was satisfied he wascorrupt,! would 
trample him down. 1 nave attacked the Mayoralty, and for that I 
am on my way to a prison, tfend rnc there. I will walk with a 
Ann step to my dungeon. Before God— before God, I declare 
with my hand on my heart, that this is t he happiest moment of my 
life. What have 1 stolen? Whom have! murdered? What 
crime have 1 committed ? I have pursued tha plunderers of tho 
masses, and for that you send me to a dungeon. You can desert 
me — the prosecution can oppress me, but God — but God will not 
desert me. Your prisoner is ready. 



Sttgfyn f). §raotfe's piptor. 



N ew York, Saturday, August 14, 1858. 



IN MY CELL. 

On either side of me are three murderers, 
and my cell has a murderer's lock. My bed is 
straw, with a blanket. I slept well last night, 
and had a good breakfast this morning, whioh 
my keeper kindly procured for me, and- who 
has extended the kindness of a brother towards 
me, in obtaining every thing I desired for my 
comfort, and in permitting my friends to visit 
me. I have read all the daily papers ; and to 
Horace Greeley, Doctor Frank Tnthill of the 
Times, and to James and Erastus Brooks, for 
their genial sympathy, I express my cordial 
gratitude. The Courier & Enquirerw silent, and 
that is preferable to denunciation, in my shackle* 
and dnngeon gloom. Bennett lashes me with the 
stings of a scorpion, who has fattened on libel 
and obscenity, and blasphemy, and black mail, 
from the dawn of his infamous editorial career. 
In his aged visions be often beholds the poor 
creatures whom his defamation hurled into pre- 
mature graves. Halleck, of the Journal of 
Commence, is brief but bitter in his comments 
on my alleged lunacy. The Daily Neios I have, 
not seen.lnit I learn that its anathema of me is 
terrible, and has a bulletin against me written 
in letters of blood. Its former editor, Mr. Auld, 
is the Mayor's Clerk, which accounts for the 
severe comments of the News. But the article 
in the Sun grieved me more than all the phi- 
lippics of my editorial adversaries. The Sim 
has clung to me for a dozen years, and to bave 
it desert me now, is like the fatal stab of Bru- 
tus at Caesar. But I will forgive Moses S. 
Beach and John Vance of the Sun for their 
leep and unexpected gashes in my heart. Let 
all my friends be cheerful, when I inform then* 
that neither sighs nor tears have passed from 
my lips or eyes, and that I only grieve at the 
official stabs at the liberty of speech and of the 
press, which the people will be sure to avenge, 
and soon consign the Grand Jury Inquisition* 
to the Spanish despot/3, and all their advocates 
to an ignominious destiny. 

STEPHEN H. BRANCH. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



OPINIONS OF THE PRESS. 
[From tiki X. V. Express.] 

The Branch Libel Case. — Stephen H. 
Branch has been convicted of a gross and mali- 
cious libel upou Mayor Tiemaun, Simeon Dra- 
per, and Isaac Bell, and has been sentenced to 
be imprisoned in the penitentiary for one year, 
to pay a fine of $250, and stand committed un- 
til that sum shall be paid. The scene at the 
dosing of the Court on Wednesday was a very 
melo-dramatic one, and fully in keeping « itb 
all the previous steps in this extraordinary 
case. Mr. Branch being asked what he had to 
say why sentence should not be pronounced 
against him, made a long speech, in which he 
reviewed the various events of his somewhat 
eccentric life ; but just as he commenced to al- 
lude to the libels, and to speak thereon and the 
persons aggrieved, the court stopped him. The 
prisoner -bore himself with the air of a martyr 
to the cause of public virtue, and said it was 
the happiest and proudest day of his life ; but 
his excitement at the close of his address was 
very great, and his delivery vehement and ear- 
nest almost to weeping. The court was full of 
his sympathizers, who did not scruple to say 
that they believed the convict to be more sinned 
against than sinning. 

This extraordinary case will long be remem- 
bered. The libels published and circulated by 
Mr. Branch were the most outrageous ever 
perpetrated in this city, and the prosecution 
has been in keeping with the provocation, 
amounting in its virulence almost to a persecu- 
tion. Circumstances on the trial favored the 
presumption that the whole of the proceedings 
had been decided upon in advance, even to the 
wording of the recorder's charge and sentence. 
His honor himself informed the counsel for the 
prisoner that he had considered his possible ap- 
plication for a suspension of judgment, had ex- 
amined th* point, and had made up his mind 
that such a motion could not be allowed. Every 
precaution had been taken. The whole power 
of the corporation — executive, legal, judicial — 
was invoked to annihilate Mr. Branch, and the 
end was attained. The offence was outrageous, 
and will admit of no palliation ; but it was 
hardly good taste in the powerful complainants 
to take every advantage of a criminal whom 
many believe to be a monomaniac, and by 
the extreme vindicativeness of the prosecution, 
give to the administration of public justice the 
appearance of private revenge. 

The arguments in the case were worthy of 
the best days of the criminal bar of New York. 
Mr. Ashmead distinguished himself highly in 
his appeal for the prisoner, and had the case 
gone to the jury before the cool and dispas- 
sionate reasoning of Mr. McKeon had partially 
weakened the effect of Mr. Ashmead's elo- 
quence, the result might have been different. 
The charge of the Recorder was decidedly 
against the prisoner, and his sentence, it will 
he seen, was severe in its terms to an excess 
that was not called for. The punishment im- 
posed was the extent of the law, and was by no 
means disproportioned to the offence ; but it 
was entirely gratuitous on the part of the Re- 
corder to drag into his remarks matters extra- 
neous to the issue, and not at all connected 
with the present trial. The Recorder's an- 
nouncement of the rod he has in pickle for cer- 
tain other libellers who he intimates are short- 
ly to be tried, will probably put those prospec- 
tive culprits upon their guard, and they will at 
least have this advantage over Mr. Branch that 
they will not he taken unawares. 

We congratulate the distinguished citizens 
whose characters have been cleared again by 
this conviction of Mr. Branch ; but can assure 
them that their fair fame by no means suffered 
so much from the attacks of the "Alligator" 
as they presumed that it did. 

We understand that Mr. Ashmead will to- 
day prepare a bill of exceptions, and move in 



'the Supreme Court for a writ of certiorari and 
stay of proceedings. The hill will not be set- 
tled until late in the day, and the motion in the 
Supreme Court cannot be made until to-mor- 
row. In case,' therefore, that Mr. Branch 
should be sent to Penitentiary to-day, the mo- 
tion will not avail him. It is hardly to be pre- 
simicd that when a motion for arrest of judg- 
ment was denied without argument, tin pri 

soner will be allowed time to benefit I y an 
appea l to the Supreme Court. 

[From the X. Y. Tribune.] 

Stephen II. Branch was yesterday convict- 
ed of a gross libel on Mayor Tiemann and 
others, and sentenced by the Recorder to the 
Penitentiary for one year, and to pay a fine of 
$250. Considering that the libel, however 
groundless essentially, appears to have had a 
real foundation in statements made to Branch 
by persons whom he undoubtedly believed, 
and whom his counsel had ready to produce 
(but their testimony was not allowed), we 
must consider this sentence a severe one. We 
believe it will excite for him a sympathy which 
it is unwise to provoke. Branch, we believe, 
has been trying pretty hard to libel un in his 
abusive little sheet; but we have never con- 
sidered his slanders worth any sort of notice. 
It may be well to stop his career, but not to 
make him a martyr. And we say most deci- 
dedly, that considering the libel for which he 
was indicted was really based on information 
furnished him by persons whom he had reason 
to believe, we deem his sentence a harsh one, 
and trust it may be mitigated by pardon. 

[From the New Tori Times.] 
The verdict and the sentence startled a great 
many people. Branch was immediately sur- 
rounded by a troop of friends, who nearly 
shook his hands off with their greetings. He 
was followed to the Tombs by a large crowd, 
who only left him at the gates of that edifice. 
But though incarcerated in prison, we have not 
as Branch says, heard the last of Brangh. 

~~m1igat6bsT 

Panama, New Granada, ( 

Jan. 7, 1849. \ 

James Gordon Bennett, 

Editor of the N. Y. Herald : 
When three miles from Panama, I saw two 
spires of the largest and most imposing cathe- 
drals here — larger than any church in Ame- 
rica. On either side I beheld the Cordi- 
leras and the Andes, towering high up to- 
wards the glorious sun — the CordUeras con- 
necting the Andes with the Rocky Mountains. 
As you near the city, you are gradually lead 
■npon a beautifully paved road — paved by Piz- 
zaro, the fiend, under whose superintendence 
the path from there to Cruces was made, 
through which Pizzaro, with his terrible 
banditti, often passed. On entering the city, 
the natives outside the gates were singing 
and dancing menOy in honor of some festi- 
val. Boys were flying their kites on the road, 
which they seemed to enjoy like the youth 
of all countries. There kites were made in the 
form of a coffin, and fringed on the sides with 
a very curious tail, partially resembling a rat- 
tlesnake. The more genteel natives wore 
white dresses and Panama hats. These hats 
are not made in Panama, but at St. Helena, 
and other places on the coast, which was news 
for me. Panama contains an impoverished 
population, whose leading maintenance is a 
few merchants of very little energy, who deal 
in British drillings and manufactures of vari- 
ous kinds. There are some choice relics of 
the eld Castilians who are never seen in the 
streets by day, hut who walk in their rear bal- 
conies in the evening to inhale the tropic air. 
The female Castilians are as beautiful as the 
Georgians or Circassians, and will not regcog- 
nize the common natives, nor even the English 



or Americans, nor.the aristocracy or nobility of 
any country as their equals. I had the fortune, 
through influential letters to a large mercan- 
tile house here, to get an introduction to a 
Castilian family, and I was invited to a rural 
gathering of the friends and relatives of this 
family. The loveliest girl I ever saw is the 

daughter of the p< ntlcman who is at the head 

of the family. '1" attempt a description of 
her accomplishments and extraordinary per- 
sona] fascinations, would be a^ impossible us 

to describe the horrors of a trip up the ' I a 

and especially the defile from this to 
■ a, which -till haunts, and will haunt me 
for a long period. The best description I 'an 
convey to mj countrymen of the river Gha- 
gres. ;> it- comparison with the river Styx, and 
you can form a slight conception of the defile 
between this and Cincc- by its comparison with 
purgatory, as described by an illiterate and 
boisterous parson ; and you can appreciate the 
loveliness of this Castilian female, by fancying 
that she is the very prototype of the unearthly 
Cleopatra, the accomplished and captivating 
queen of ancient Egypt, who was familiar with 
all the dialects of the East (thirty in number), 
whose glowing eloquence and brilliant eye, 
■and majestic' form, and perfect symmetry of 
mind and body and feature, only could have 
allured the eloquent, rich, and noble Anthony 
from his ambition of military glory and his 
love of his native country. The Cathedral is 
dingy and very gloomy. All the bells are 
cracked, and their doleful tones thrill the 
senses. I saw the leading priest to-day, who 
seems very old and infirm. In front of the 
Cathedral, are the Twelve Apostles, with the 
Saviour. The spires are adorned with pearls, 
with which the coast abounds. I have visited 
the temples, jails, walls, churches, old govern- 
ors' palaces and trenches, and my heart wa» 
filled with pensive emotions, as I gazed on these 
crumbling ruins of other generations. The 
best idea I can give about this place, is its com- 
parison with New York, after the great fires of 
1835 and '46. The tortures and mode of life 
here are very peculiar. I slept on a bare cot, 
and with only one sheet over me — sweat like 
blazes. The meats and cooking are extremely 
novel. Lizzards, spiders, musquitoes, galinip- 
pers and ants, crawl around and over me, and 
often penetrate the ears and nose. Some liz- 
zards gathered around my head the other 
night and awoke me, which I scattered very 
quick. I think they were preparing to play 
some trick on me, and perhaps even contempla- 
ted'the decapitation of my beloved proboscis, as 
one of the rascals was smelling around my nos- 
trils when I suddenly awoke. I hate lizzards, 
but I can stand spiders and alligators, and_ the 
other animalculae of the country tolerably 
well. A girl only ten years of age was mar- 
ried to-day. This seems incredible, but you 
may repose implicit confidence in its tftith. 
Females mature more rapidly here than in any 
other part of the earth. At eight* and nine 
there is often every indication of puberty. I 
saw the young " lady " of ten, who was mar- 
ried to-day. I was utterly astonished at her 
prodigious maturity. She was extremely beau- 
tiful, and her glances were bewitching, and 
she seemed very devoted to her young* and en- 
thusiastic lover. It rains or pours in these lati- 
tudes ten months in the year, which the natives 
call the wet season. The other two months 
are called the dry season, when it only rains 
about twelve times a day. The lightning is 
sometimes incessant, and the thunder is terrific 
and makes the alligators look glassy abont.the 
eye. We had a shock of an earthquake last 
night which lasted some seconds. It created 
quite a sensation among the emigrants, but 
it did not terrify the natives, as they are used 
to earthquakes. A small lizzard crawled into 
the ear of an emigrant, who lives near the 
shore., which nearly killed him. I attended 
the Cathedral this morning, and the music ani 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR, 



•eremonies wore grateful to my heart After 
the solemn scenes of last week, and the death 
of a beloved friend on Tuesday last. The at- 
tendance was not large. Youth, age; de- 

ori I i !■■- competence, afflue penury and 

uttervags, all knelt side by side. Six priests oi 
Tariouo grades were present. A - 1 gs ied on these 
«],'. ndi ! ruins, at the images, paintings and 
oosl '. on id 

the long line of generations of 8] 
who had worshipped in it- b* i i lisle 
gazed down to the sepulchres of their fath- 
ers, contrasting this dismal str 
tottering walls And spires, with its ancient 
glory, and as 1 gazed on its wildness and dilapi- 
dated magnificence, 1 was impressed with the 
mo and overwhelming emotions. 

La-* evening I visited the ramp irts, 
ole a portion of the city. The work is 
beautiful and exhilarating at early twilight., 
when theburning sun is gone, and when, as in 
last evening, the fall tnoon was emerging 
sncommon splendor from the far horizon of a 
tranquil sea. A group of lovely children .just 
passed my window, followed by their slaves, 
with gorgeous turbans clad in red, white A 
blue, A passenger, just entered my apartment 
and informs me that while dozing- in his ca.noe 
on the banks of the Chagres, he was suddenly 
aroused from his slumber and saw an enormous 
alligator crawling over the base of his canoe, 
when lie sprang and leaped to the shore and 
ran for his life up the embankment with the 
alligator in hot pursuit, which nearly caught 
him by the tail of his coat. He rushed into 
the hut of a friendly native, and closed and 
barred the door, and flew to the* roof, where 
he found piles of stones for defensive opera- 
tions, and immediately opened a battery of 
flying stones at the alligator, causing him to 
retreat and disappear beneath the waters of 
the Chagres. There are turkey buzzards' in 
countless thousands hovering over the city, 
which greatly alarm the natives. Suck flocks 
were never seen before. The timid and su- 
perstitious natives predict the most awful visi- 
tations from the sudden appearance of so 
many buzzards, which darken the air like a 
cloud with their hideous presence. Somo of the 
natives prognosticate a famine, or others fatal 
convulsions of nature. My chum predicts ex- 
traordinary heat (therernometer now about 100 
in ^the shade), and a shower of rain (only 
rained sis times to-day,) and other calamities. 
But I do not fear these terrible disasters from 
the advent of large flocks of turkey buzzards, as 
I have been taught to scout every thing in 
the form of representation. 

Stephen H. Branch. 



improvements will, it' .adopted, result in great 
benefit to the City, State and Nation. 

A good government in this city, like the 
heari of a great body, will make itself felt 
throughout our State, our Nation, and to some 
hrroughout the world. Desiring greatly 
to -vi ure for my native city, the inestimable 
blessings of good government 1 have ventured 
to propose and urgently recommend, to the se- 
rious consideration of your Hon. body, a plan 
I : on a principle, that I believe will do 
ibOut security, order and good 

lit, than any and all other measures, 
are within the range of our municipal 
powers, to adopt. The plan and principle to 
v, liich I allude, will make it directly the dollar 
and c ■ ie three-quarters of all 

the officers in the employ of the city govern- 
ment to faithfully perform their duty. 

If this can ho shown to be conveniently 
practicable, it must be admitted that it would 
bring about greater efficiency in the execution 
of all useful law.- and ordinances, than any 
Other means which have ever been applied to 
the government of our city. 

Before 1 attempt adeseription of this plan, I 
will state that it will require greater conveni- 
encies for the extinguishment of fires than those 
now provided by our present arrangement. 

The neessary facilitities for conveniently put- 
ting out fires, can be arranged in a short time 
and at comparatively small expense, by plac- 
ing a boiler-iron tank of some thirty feet in 
height, on the top of the present reservoir on 
Murray Hill. This tank to be filled and kept 
full of water by a small steam engine provided 
for that purpose. 

And as an additional security I would pro- 
pose that the present City Hall be raised an ad- 
ditional story, and covered with an iron tank 
that, would hold some ten feet of water. The 
outside of this tank to be made to represent a 
cornice around the building. 

If an additional building should be put up, 
to take the place of the one lately destroyed 
by fire, it should be so formed as to be in har- 
mony with the present City Hall, and covered 
with a similar tank, and corniced to correspond. 
With this greater head and supply of water al- 
ways at command, and ready for connection 
with the present street mains, the moment the 
signal is given from any Police Station, it 
will be apparent that all the hydrants will be 
made efficient to raise water over the tops of 
the highest houses in the city. 

I would, in addition propose, that there 
should be placed at convenient distances in ev- 
ery street, a small cart containing some three 
hundred feet of hose. These carts should be 
so light that one man could draw them to the 
nearest hydrant to the Are, and bring the Water 
on the fire in the shortest possible time. With 
., this arrangement, I propose to make it the in- 
°*%£iK* S i'*™ It terest of every man in the police, to watch 

against incendiaries and thieves, and to use ev- 
ery possible effort to extinguish fires as soon as 
they occur. To make it the interest for the 
police to perform their duty faithfully, I pro- 
pose that the Corporation should set apart as a 
fund, two shillings per day, in addition to the 
wages of each man, to be held by the Corpo- 
ration to the eud of each year, and when it 
shall he ascertained that the loss and damage 

shall 



This fund to be added to the Corporation 
fund of two shillings per day, and to be equally 
divided with the men forming the City Polfce. 
This would enable every one of the members 
of the police to secure for himself sufficient to 
pay his rent every year over and above hii 
present wages. They would also have the 
elevating satisfaction of knowing that while 
they are saving one dollar for themselves they 
are saving fifty dollars for 'the community, and 
in addition saving thousands of individuals 
from that wretchedness and misery annually 
produced by the desolating ravages of fire. 

A police appointed for and during good be- 
havior, with the liberal salary they now re- 
ive, and with the additional privilege of se- 
curing to themselves annually SO large a: 
amount over and above their regular salarie 
might always he he relied on to forward every 
measure that would tend to secure order anc 
good government. A department so funned 
whose duty it would he to traverse every stree 
of the city by day and night, would find it their 
interest as well as duty to watch against in 
cendiaries, and when a fire was discovered the; 
would instantly signal for as many hose cart 
as desirable, with directions for every next 
man to double his walk. When such men 
come to a fire they would all be armed with 
police powers to protect property, and to bring 
and use the carts with hose on the fire, until 
the general alarm became necesaary-to summon 
the firemen to the charge, which would seldom 
happen with such facilities and such an inier- 
est to extinguish fire«. One of the best fea- 
tures in this arrangement will be the constant 
tendency and interest there will be to draw 
into the department good men and crowd out 
bad men. They find it their interest to have 
man turned our who is either drunken, 
idle or dishonest, and to have in their place 
those that are sober, honest and efficient. They 
find it their inteuest to close every .mm shop 
that is selling without license, and they will 
not be long in finding out that a large part of : 
the fires arise from drunkenness and the de-j 
gradation and carelessness that are the natural 
ignite of dissipation. 

[Conclusion in our next, 

83?" Owing to an unusual amount, of matter, 
in this number, we have omitted our advertise-- 
ments. They will be inserted in next issue. 



AN IMMORTAL PETITION. 

The Wise Peter Gooj>cr, and his most extraor- 
icd of a Tank on the 
of the City Hall, for the < ttinguishmwt of 
disastrous conflagarations. 

[Document No. 13.] 

Board of Aldermen, \ 



February 6, 1854, 
The following petition of Peter Cooper, in 
-relation to the prevention and extinguishing j of 
fire, and to give greater efficiency to the Police 
Department, was received and laid on the table 
and ordered to be printed. 

- D. T. Valentine, 

'"' Clerk. 

To the Hon. the Mayor and Common Council 
of the city of New York. 

The subscriber takes this method to present 
to your Hon. Body, certain improvements for 
the prevention "and extinguishing of fires, to 
give greater efficiency to the police and greatly 
lessen the labors of the Fire Department, and 
at the same time give greater security to life 
and property, and the government of our city. 

Your subscriber is of the opinion, that these 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit . — From two to four seconds, or as long as the Advertiser* 
can bold his breath ! Letters and Advertisements to be left at NoM 
114 Nassau-street, second story, front room. 



COREY AND SON, MERCHANTS EXCHANGE. WALL 
street, Hew York, Notaries Public and Commissioners— United i 
States Passports issued in 3C hours.— Bills of Exchange, Drafts, ana I 
-ted,— Marine protests noted and extended. 

EDWLN F. COREY, 
EDWIN F. I'oREY.Jn, 



HERRING'S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR-. 
glar Proof Safe, with Hall's Patent Powder Proof Locks, 
afford the greatest security of any Safe in the world. Also. Side- 
board and Parlor Safes, of elcgnnt workmanship and finish, for 
plate, &c. S. C IIERK1M1 it CO, 

551 Broadway, i 



SA1STE MEKTO—No. 29 ATTORNEY STREET. NEAMj 
Grand, has a superior assortment of Cloths, Cassimeres, and,. 
Vestings made to order in the most fashionable and approved Parj 
tisianstvlc- and at abort notice. Let gentlemen call and patronize! 
me and'i will do my Utmost to pleaMiny customers. 



by fire, and the loss of property stolen 
have been reduced below the average of the 
last ten years, then this fund of two shillings 
per day, in addition to their former wages, shall 
bo equally divided between the men forming 
the Police Department. 

In addition to this I propose that the Cor- 
poration should request all the Insurance Com- 
panies interested in the property of this city to 
bid or offer the largest per centage that they 
are willing to give on all, that the loss and 
damage by fire can be reduced below the ave- 
rage agreed upon. 



VAN TINE, SHiKGAE RES! AURANT, No. 2 DET.i 
street. Now York. 



L3 A i.W. r.ARKF.i;. GENERAL AUCTIONEERS* REAL 
n. ESTATE BROKERS. Loans negotiated. Houses and 
Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds Sold at Auction or Private Sale. 

Also, FURNITURE SALFiS attendee t" at private houses* 
Office, 11 line street, uoderCommouwcAlth Bunt:. 

ARLTON HOUSE, 496 BROADWAY, NEW YORE* 
Bates and Houlen. Proprietors. TtIEOpmLrjs BATES . 1 
OREL J, HOLDEJ1. 

GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AMD COMMISSION 
Merchants, No. 106, Wall street, comer of Front street, New 

Y ork, _ ■ 1 

AMUEL SNEDEN. SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER. - 
My Office is at No. 31 Corlears street. New York; and my yar OS 
■ind residence are at Groenpoint. I nave built Ships and Steame rs 
for every portion of the Globe, for a 1°"^'!, ''1;'™™^,™° "' 
tinue to do so on reasonable terms. SAMUEL SNfc.t»k«. 



s 




Volume I.— No. 18. 



SATURDAY, AUGUST 21, 1858. 



9B 



Price 2 Cent* 



OPINIONS OF THE PRESS, 

We conclude, the public feel slightly inter- 
ested in our libel case ; therefore we shall take 
the liberty to lay before our readers a few ex- 
tracts from the weekly press of our city, as we 
did in our last the opinions of the dailies. 
[From, the N. Y. Weekly Despatch.] 
During the last three months Branch's Alliga- 
tor ha3 been the talk of tho town. Through 
the columns of his little sheet, Branch has made 
charges of the most serious nature against pro- 
minent citizens and office holders. At first no 
notice was taken of these attacks, finally, how- 
ever, these charges were so generally talked of 
that it became necessary for the parties assailed 
to notice them. Mayor Tiemann, Simeon Dra- 
per and Sup visor Bell united in a complaint be- 
fore the Grand Jury, who found an indictment ; 
whereupon all the rest of the individuals who 
had been honored with the attenions of the Al- 
ligator set to work to aid in bringing Branch to 
justice. His case was set down for Uial in the 
sessions on Monday last. When the case was 
called, Branch announced himself ready for 
trial; the Distriot Attorney, however, said he 
would not be ready till Tuesday. An attempt 
had been made on Saturday to prejudice the 
case by one of his bondsman, beiug indusel 
to surreuder Btanch, and on Tuesday, in 
the middle of the trial, Mr. Southworth, 
the other bondsman, went into Oourt and sur- 
rendered him. In both cases other parties 
came forward and took the places of these 
pretended friends. By applying the sharpest 
rules of legal practice, his testimony was ruled 
out and Branoh was convicted, and without 
giving him time to breathe, he was sentenced 
to pay a fine of $250 and to be imprisoned in 
the Penitentiary for one year. The Recorder 
in his remarks volunteered the gentle hint to 
the rest of the newspapers, that there were a 
number of other editors whom he meant to 
put thruugh a similar course of sprouts. While 
we do not care to quarrel with the ver- 
dict of the jury, and certainly do not wish to 
be understood as advocating the license of the 
Press to assail unjustly the character of any 
individual in the oommunity, we must say to 
the Recorder and the parties to tho trial, that 
we hardly think they will find any other case 
in which they will be permitted to put an edi- 
tor through with quite such railroad speed, 
though we admit that if justice were as 
promptly administered in all cases, the Oourt 
of Sessions would stand much higher in public 
estimation. Of the real merits of Branch's 
case we have no means of judging. That he 



believed the truth of the oharge3 he made we 
have not the slightest doubt. If there was 
any falsehood in the matter, he was the dupe 
of it and not the perpetrator, and we sincerely 
regret that the prosecutors saw fit to avail 
themselves of legal technicalities to shut out 
what his witnesses had to say. It is quite as 
unfortunute for them as it is for Branch. 
While their suppression consigns him to prison 
it leaves the prosecution open to invidious 
comments, all of which might have been si- 
lenced by dragging the slanderers (if suchthey 
are) into the light of day and refuting these 
calumnies. That, however, is their business, 
not oars. In the meantime poor Branch has 
been consigns! to the tender mercies of the 
Tea Governors — one of whom, at least, has 
[) i'ji'u-ly announced his determination to "put 
him through the rotijhest course of training 
any man ever got on the Island." We were 
surprised to hear that the Governor in ques- 
tion had made this hiartleis speaah. We sup- 
posed him to be a Oiristian and a mm, but 
we cannot reconcile the idea of striking a 
fallen and powerless brother as either an evi- 
dence of Ghriiiianity or mxahool, and we 
trust the Governor will yet see the impropri- 
ety of attempting to pat his threat into execu- 
tion. We see by this morning's Ecpreu, that 
Branch was on Friday seen in the quarry with 
his hands all a mass of blisters, working away 
under a broiling sun. This looks as though 
the Governors intend to give him the full ben- 
efit of his sentence. 

The H'.riJ.i takes the occasion of Branch's 
conviction to read us a lecture on the enormi- 
ty of scurrility and libel. No other print in 
the country is so well qualified for the task. 
Bennett evidently thinks New Yorkers have 
short memories, not to recollect the obscene 
and licentious character of the Hirall in its 
earlier days. He has used Branch as often as 
any other paper in New York to abuse peo- 
ple towards whom he had incurred a hostility, 
But now he is down, Bennett kicks him with 
the rest. We perceive that George Wilkes 
has commenced a libel sait a^iinst Bennett for 
what he said of Porter's Spirit. 

[We have taken the liberty of italicizing a 
portion of the above article — El. Alligator.] 

\From the Sunday Times.] 
Libel O.vsb OuvRAOrsRisTtos. — The convic- 
tion of Stephen II. Branoh, before Recorder 
Barnard, on Wednesday, of a libel on Mayor 
Tiemann and two other public oifioers, natu 
rally created a sensation. So did the remarks 
of the bench. Sentencing Mr. Branoh to a 
year's imprisonment in the penitentiar y and a 



fine of two hundred and fifty dollars, while such, 
a man as Peter Dawson is subjeoted to incar- 
ceration for only sixty days, is not likely, how- 
ever, to exert a wholesome effect upon the 
public mind. We have no doubt the recorder 
meant, by his severity, to mike an example of 
Branch, in order to deter other indiscreet men 
who are more led by their impulses than their 
judgment from indulging in similarly reprehen- 
sible publications : but we conceive that jus- 
tice administered with such rigidity, under the 
peculiar circumstances of the case, might seem 
to wear the aspect of persecution; and convert- 
ing Branch into a martyr, neither elevates the 
character of the court, nor wins the moral 
sympathy of public opinion. The general mini 
h-is really appropriated the idea that because 
Branoh attacked so important a person as May- 
or Tiemann, the whole power of the corpora- 
tion has been consolidate! into one grand vin- 
dictive effort to crush out the courageous but 
silly slanderer. Every one naturally murmurs, 
therefore, if this be so, who may not be the 
next sacrifice? Common rumar does not hesi- 
tate to insinuate that the character of the pro- 
ceedings taken against Branch, and the per- 
emptory treatment bsstowei upon the counsel 
for the prisoner, ware the result of a precon- 
certed arrangement of the authorities. This 
assumption believed, who feels secure of justice 
should he be unfortunate enough to incur the 
enmity of a coalition so potential? 

Mr. Branch's libels were coarse, scandalous, 
and boldly reiterate 1. It was difficult to be- 
"ieve them wholly found itioaless, because an 
investigation was demmdel with such persist- 
ent audacity. Branch openly avowel his rea- 
diness to establish all his statements, however 
lefamatory; an! although they criminated ci- 
tizens whose good name we had always been 
taught to esteem, they started our incredulity, 
and set every thinking mini astir with painful 
distrust. We were glad, therefore, to find a 
legitimate course aloptel, aid an appeal to the 
laws made to decide the truth or falsity of the 
accusations. 

Mr. Branch, as a libeller of the most extrav- 
agant kind, merited condign punishment; but, 
after all, it is very clear that Mr. Branch's 
strange, wild, energetio, incoherent nature, has 
been made use of by somebody else to accom- 
plish his own purposes. Branch has been the 
catspaw of some deeper an! more sanely plot- 
ting intellect behind the curtain; and we re- 
gret that the Recorder considered it necessary 
to rule out the testimony which might have 
introduced us to the principals in this offensive 
operation, instead of their harum-scarum in- 
strument. It would have beou, as far as the 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'SALLIGATOR. 



libelled ones are concerned, much better to 
have probed the whole affair to the bottom, 
•Ten if the exact rule of evidence had been 
made to yield temporarily to the exigency. It 
would have been better for them to let the pub- 
lic perceive precisely on -what ground all this 
edifice of mendacity had been contracted. It 
would have exhibited the confidence which 
belongs to conscious innocence. It would not 
only have exposed the real wire-workers of this 
game of wholesale calumniation, 1 nt, in dem- 
onstrating the integrity of the parties assailed, 
it would have left no unexplained mystery, no 
dubious point of fact, around which malice 
might still gather the shadowy wind-breath of 
current scandal. If, however, they are satis- 
fied, we ought to be. We are not convinced 
that Randall's Island 16 a paradise of official 
morality, and the great public would not credit 
us were we to hazard an assertion to that effect; 
but we are satisfied that the particular charges 
made by Mr. Branch are mitre, though impos- 
ed upon him as truths, and we hope that, hav- 
ing had their probity completely substantiated 
in the premises, the gentlemen so recklessly 
accused by Mr. Branch are not disposed to be 
yindictiv e._fgl [ 

In conclusion, we must be permitted to say- 
that we do not admire the tone of the Recor- 
der's remarks on passing sentence. It is the 
first time we have had occasion to allude to 
this gentleman except in teims of merited 
commendation. "We entertain a high opinion 
of his general impartiality. His promptitude, j 
his disdain for pettifogger's quibbling, his nice 
sense of justice, and his freedom from those 
tainted associations which rob the bench in 
some quarters of dignity and public confi- 
dence, have all contributed to place him in the 
front rank of our criminal magistracy. We do 
not impugn his integrity, therefore, \y\t the 
quality of his judgment both in imposing so 
severe a sentence upon this weak and foolish 
victim of designing knaves, and in speaking of 
"other libellers," to all ol whom he contem- 
plates meting out a "similar punishment." 
We know very well that he intended to threat- 
en no respectable press, or to hint at fetters in 
terrortm upon its proper independence— hut 
his language may be easily misinterpreted; 
and when we consider how liable the most 
prudent journalist is to daily imposition, the 
observation that "this verdict settles the fact 
that no man can make an assertion in a news- 
paper without being liable to be punished 
criminally, unless he can substantiate it," 
seems to us one of gratuitous harshness, and 
in any body else would be called one of petu- 
lence and ill-humor. Branch's excitement, 
however, had doubtless disturbed the usual 
current of quiet feeling which characterizes 
the conduct of the Recorder, and we see the 
effect. The best of us are open to these influ- 
ences, and we are not inclined to forget how 
much the community owes to the general hon- 
esty and equity of Recorder Barnard, in our 
exceptions to what is, perhaps, but a hasty ex- 
pression or so in the present instance. 

Considering that there are at least 10 or 12 
suits for libel pending against the Herald, for 
gross and malicious libels upon sundry respec 



partirlity he little expects by coercing him, of curious comment among the people, neces- 
despite his self-importance, to keep company sarily provoked by the seemingly harsh and 
with Mr. Branch, as a reward for some of | rough-shod prooedure in the case. It is to be 

regretted the matter was not fully cleared vp 
by the production of the entire evidenoe. 

How Bhangh confkokts his Fatb. — The 
renowned tamer of alligators — I may as well 
add, en passant — was duly surrendered to 
Warden Finch on Thursday, having been es- 
corted hither to his prison by a little host of 
friends, whose temper indicated no disposition 
to desert him. Sympathy is strongly in his 
favor, on the ground, of course, that, whatev- 
er may be thought of his offence, his treat- 
ment at the hands of the officials and lawyers, 
has been such as only a weak and compara- 
tively friendless man like him would meet. 
You will soon see his prosecutors forced to sue 
for his deliverance, just as eagerly as tk*$ 
have pressed for his imprisonment. 
Besides the sensation created here, it has 



his virulent ssaults on private caharcter. 

JJ^. [Froni'the N. Y. Svnday Mtrevry.] 
liBuANcn's Sektejjce.— ■ Quite unexpectedly 
the trial of Stephen H. Branch, for libel against 
Mayor Tiemann, Simeon Draper and Isaac Bell, 
was brought up and dispatched, during the past 
week, with a velocity which would make the 
mostwhoh someimpression, were the rest of the 
District Attorney's calendar ptit through with 
equal promptness and exemplary effect. Li anch 
was found guilty, and sentenced to one year's 
imprisonment on BlfickweD's Island, and two 
hundred and fifty dollars fine. The 2'rilvne^ in 
alluding to this sentence of Branch by Recorder 
Barnard, says 

" Considering that the libeL however 
groundless essentially, appears to have had a 
real foundation in statements made to Branch 
by persons whom he undoubtedly believed, 
and whom his counsel had ready to produce 
(but their testimony was not allowed), we 
must consider this sentence a severe one. We 
believe it will excite for him a sympathy which 



been noticeable that a general scattering — "o* 
leave" — of certain subordinates, has take* 
place during the late " inquest." It is doubt- 
ful if Stephen will, even here, have a chance 
to confront the mysterious "matron." The 
fright of the trial being apparently over, the 
it is unwise to provoke. Branch, we believe, fugitives from the Aims-House will doubtless 



has been trying pretty hard to libel if* in his 
abusive little sheet; but we have never con- 
sidered his slanders worth any sort of notice. 
It may be well to stop his career, but not to 
make him a martyr. And we say most deci- 
dedly, that considering the libel for which he- 
was indicted was really based on information 



fternished him by persons whom he had reason 
to believe, we deem his sentence a harsh one, 
anfl trust it may be mitigated by pardon." 

By the press generally, the matter is regard- 
ed pretty much in the same temper, excepting case, so mysteriously and adroitly evaded by 
the anomalous instance of the Herald ! That the prosecution. Then only can the provoking 



return forthwith, tinder the discipline of 
these precincts they. will find their best pro- 
tection, as well from the impertinence of cross- 
examining lawyers, as from the no less strin- 
gent inquiries of a keen public curiosity, main- 
ly aroused by the suppression of the inside 
testimony which could be found here. The 
nature and source of this I have already point- 
ed out. Should the motion in arrest of judg- 
ment reopen the trial, it will doubtless be for 
the admission of the main evidence in the 



immaculate sheet takes occasion to give utter- 
ance' to any extent of wrath and indignation 
against Branch and his Alligator, and charac- 
teristically against such of its cotemporaries, 
present and past, as it would desire to 
denounce and stigmatise, with an odor which 
has by no means been washed from its own 
bedraggled garments. Indeed, as the di- 
rect object of the Herald would appear to be 
a malicious fling at the Spirit of the Times in 
view of another case on the Recorder's docket 
— that of Judge Russell's indictment — so the 
the Herald lays itself liable to another indict- 
ment, which has been duly entered against 
Bennett for no less than twenty-five thousand 
dollars.^ ^ ggk 

The Herald's fulminations, and the political 
pressure brought to bear upon Branch by his 
prosecutors must inevitably have the effect of 
exeiting a warm public sympathy for their ob- 
ject. Such, indeed, is the manner in which 
the infliction of the full penalty of the statute 
is regarded in this case, that the prosecutors 
themselves will be forced to step in as petition- 
ers for a pardon, or incur no little odium in the 
business. Besides, what is very sensibly re- 
marked by the Tribune, as to the foundation 
of Branch's charges, it might be added that 
the public have no means of judging whether 
those charges are well founded or not. By a 
table citizens, itls really refreshing to peruse : course of proceedings altogether extraordinary 



rumors, now so general, be set at rest, or satis- 
factorily determined. 

The fate of Branch here, it appears, will be 
in no degree lenient, as there is more than one 
petty tyrant under the vice royalty who seems 
desirous of venting his spleen upon the unfor- 
tunate man. He has taken his place, it appears r 
already, by direction of the keepers, beside 
the common fellows in the quarries. The di- 
rections of one of the Governors is quoted to 
the effect that he would be "put through the) 
roughest course of training any man ever got 
on the Island." I have purposely withheld a 
variety of matters in connection with these 
precincts this week, until the interests witfc 
Stephen, with regard to the Ten Governors, is 
more definitively settled. 



New York, Saturday, August 21, 1868. 



its comments upon the warning given by Re 
corder Barnard in the Branch case, to libellers 
generally. What the Alligutw is, the Herald 
was ; and if the latter has improved in decen- 
cy in proportion as it has increased in respon- 
sibility, necessity, not choice, lies at the bot- 
tom of the metamorphosis. We are afraid that 
the Recorder's hint was purposed, in fact, for 
the special edification of the Herald. And, 
notwithstanding that journal's sudden disposi- 
tion to saponize loth the gentlemen on the 
bench of the General Sessions, instead of its 
eustomary one, the Recorder may chance to 
give its responsible conductor a lesson of im- 



on the part of the piosecution, the apparent 
real evidence in the case was completely ex- 
cluded, and Branch convicted solely upon the 
oaths of his prosecutors, without an actual in- 
vestigation of the presumed issue on which the 
libel originated. The public are largely exer- 
cised on the matter, and inquiry is particularly 
active as to who the "Matron" really is? 
Why she was not put upon the stand, and 
what she could have to say for herself? How 
would her previous character have justified 
her taking the stand as a witness, or of hold- 
ing the position she has occupied under the 
chief magistrate? These points are matters 



If there be one thing more than another oa 
which we hael fully made up our minds it it 
this: that our country is pre-eminently free — 
yea, the freest in the whole family of nation*. 
But the history of the past week has taught M 
how very easily it is to be mistaken. 

The trial of Stephen H Branch in our Court 
of Sessions, a few days ago, teaches us a lesson 
which we ought not soon to forget. From the 
time that our great nabob, Mayor Tieman, as- 
sociated with the Peter Cooper guild, first made 
their complaint, or " Trinity" of complaint*, 
down to the passing of the sentence in tht 
Court of Sessions, the trial was one of the most 
vindictive and one-sided affair, on the part of 
the prosecution, that we recollect during our 
sojourn on this " miserable globe." 

In the first place, it was proved on the vial 
that one of the complainants, or more properlj 
persecutors, had never been before the Grand 
ury. In the second place, it would appear 
Jhat indictmeBts by the dozen must have heel 
trefsrred against the accused ; for if we reeel- 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR 



leet aright, he was arrested every day for nearly 
a fortnight, previous to his trial. And again we 
have been told — how far it is true we care not 
to inquire — that one man who professed great 
friendship for him, and became his bail on the 
last arrest, two days before his trial, on the fol- 
lowing day withdrew his bail, and delivered 
the unfortunate man up to his adversaries ; and 
in consequence of this latter act realised a con- 
tract from the city authorities. " Save us from 
©nr friends." 

If all this be true, it is one of the most arrant 
pieces of villany ever recorded of Christian 
men. 

When we come into court we, unfortunately, 
if possible, find things worse. The rnling of 
the Judge was altogether too strict — too severe 
— in fact too arbitrary. The Judge, it appears 
to us, made it a point of his business to shield, 
as much as possible, the complainants on the 
one hand, by interfering in behalf of the Ma- 
yor, when he was being cross-questioned by 
defendant's Counsel ; whilst on the other hand 
he ruled out the principal evidence in support 
of the defendant, and of course deprived the 
accused of the slightest shadow of a chance to 
establish his innocence. 

Then comes the Recorder's charge to the 
Jury. And that we think is in keeping ; or, 
perhaps, we ought to say an improvement on 
the spirit of the whole proceedings. Let any 



that the great extent of our city already, im- 
poses a burden on the present firemen so great, 
that we have no right to expect that it will be 
borne a great while longer by a voluntary Fire 
Department. 

It is evident that something should be done at 
once to furnish the Fire Department, the relief 
that they have a right to expect from the ex- 
cessive labor that is unavoidable in drawing 
their engines to and from, and the hazzard and 
fatigue of working them at the numerous fires 
that take place. 

In the opinion of your subscriber, the plan of 
placing light carts with hore at convenient 
distances in every street, to be at the service 
of a body of police, all interested to use this 
hore for the extinguishment of fires with the 
greatest possible energy and effect, is the best 
that can be adopted. By this arrangement it 
is safe to calculate that the present Fire De- 
partment will be relieved from something like 
three quarters of the duties they are now call- 
ed upon to perform. As an equivalent for this 
relief, I propose that the Fire Department shall 
become the guard of honor for our city, to be 
called out as firemen or soldiers whenever 
their services are required by the proper au- 
thorities of our city. This arrangement pro- 
poses to continue the present Fire Department 
with every privilege they now enjoy, and re- 
lieve them from more than half the labors 



one sit down and read that charge calmly and J they are now required to perform. 
dispassionately, and we venture to assert that j It is believed by your subscriber, that the 
for severity the reader cannot find a case to sur- plan proposed will make the Fire Department 



pass it, nor perhaps even to equal it in the his 
tory of modern English jurisprudence. 

Then, if we consider the hurried manner in 
which the prosecution got up this trial, and 
their mode of conducting it, as described above, 
we must consider the proceedings unwarranted 
by the premises ; and formes a great contrast 
to the tardy manner in which our Courts meet 
out their infinitismal doses of punishment to 
Thieves, Burglars, Murderers and Desperadoes. 

There is still another charge, which in our 
opinion is the gravest of all. After the ren- 
dition of the verdict the counsel for the de- 
fence moved a stay of proceedings ; now mark 
the reply of his honor. That he had yester- 
day considered the possibility of swh an ap- 
plication, and had then made up his mind 
that it could not be granted. So from this it 
would appear, that the whole affair was set 



and also the present active Police Department, 
the most useful and honorable bodies of men 
in our city. The hearty co-operation of the 
members of the Fire Department, and also the 
members of the Police to secure for our city 
the blessings which must naturally result from 
this arrangement, will entitle them not only to 
the pecuniary advantages that must result to 
themselves and their families, but to the last- 
ing gratitude and respect of every worthy in- 
habitant of our city. 

It is worthy of remark that the insurance 
companies of this city have now in their employ 
eighty (80) men, at an expense of thirty (30) 
thousand dollars a year, to watch against fires. 
I am informed that they intend greatly to in- 
crease this force ; in addition, your subscriber, 
with a great number of merchants and private 
families, have for years constantly employed 



and morals of thousands of the best and most 
enthusiastic young men of our city from being 
broken down and destroyed by their loss of 
time and the excessive labor occasioned by the 
numerous fires that take place, and which 
would mainly be prevented by adopting the 
arrangement proposed. 
All of which is most respectfully submitted. 
Yours, with great respect, 

PETER COOPER, 

"Wb have no doubt that by this time it is 
pretty generally understood, that we have an 
engagement to fulfil, with the coroperation 
which, for the present, requires our almost corv- 
stant attentions. "We offer this as an excuse, 
partly for some very excellent extracts from the 
press, which our readers will accept, together 
with our best wishes. We also indulge 
in the hope that in our Geological researches 
among the islands of the sea, that we shall 
make some valuable discoveries which will be 
of use to the inhabitants of the earth, and to 
the dwellers in Gotham in particular. 

A Capital Hoax. — Some men plagiarise the 
thoughts of others, without being at all aware, 
of the pungency of the fact as regards them- 
selves. The Herald, in alluding to a few of 
the " minor press," gotten up and "spiced' 
precisely as the Herald itself originally was, 
when it first attracted public attention, 
remarked : "These fellows must be taught that 
they cannot use the liberty of the press so far 
as to make it the vehicle of their dirty thoughts 
and dirtier expressions, and that an honorable 
profession is not to be degraded because they 
hang upon its skirts, like foul birds hovering 
over their prey." The beauty of it is, this ex- 
tract is, word for word, the language employed 
by the Courier and Enquirer, in March, 1842, 
in relation to the Herald itself 1— Mercury. 



tied before the parties came into court; and so i pl . ivate wa tchmen, to guard our stores and 
far as the trial goes, it was simply a collateral i^ atch om . dwellings from robbery and fires, 
incident of the proceedings, and not at all an | M that these cost! and more! wou] a be gladly 
operation for attaining the great end of justice. contr ibuted to a body of police who would, by 



Now, we do not say a word as to the guilt 
or innocence of Mr. Branch. He may be 
guilty — he may be innocent; we are just as 
far, if not farther, from that point than we were 
a month ago; and this is the ground of our 
complaint. 



a faithful performance of duty, secure the 
necessary relief for our Fire department, by 
lessening annually the number of fires, and 
also by reducing the amount of property stolen 
below the average agreed upon. 

I have taken the liberty to invite the atten- 



If such proceedings be allowed permanently L 
\.j. ■ ■ ■ • » • .- S tion of vour honorable body to an arrange 

to ob tarn in our courts of justice, then we say u , , •! , _ 



that " trial by jury becomes a mockery, a delu- 
sion, and a snare." 

AN IMMORTAL PETITION. 

The Wise Peter Cooper, and his most extraor- 
dinary proposal of a Tank on the summit 
»f the City Hall, for the extinguishment of 
disastrous conflagarations. 

[Document No. 13.] 



Boabd of Aldermen, \ 
February 6, 1854. , 
The following petition of Peter Cooper, in 
relation to the prevention and extinguishing , of 
fire, and to give greater efficiency to the Police 
Department, was received and laid on the table 
and ordered to be printed. 

D. T. Valentine, 
Clerk. 
To the Hon. the Mayor and Common Council 
of the city of New York. 

[Concluded.] 
It must be apparent to every reflecting mind 



mfnt and principle by which a large majori- 
ty of all the officers in the employ of the eity 
will become pecuniarily and otherwise in- 
terested in a faithful performance of their 
duty. Such performance will not only secure 
to them the large fund provided by the Corpo- 
ration, and in addition the fund to be recover- 
ed from the insurance companies, as a reward 
for reducing the loss by fire below the average 
agreed upon, but they would, in addition, find 
the faithful performance of duty the surest 
relief from excessive labor, by diminishing the 
number of fires and the amount of crime that 
now form so great and so unpleasant a part of 
their present labor. 

The principal idea in the foregoing commu- 
nication, was presented by your subscriber to 
a previous Common Council, some twelve 
years since, under a full 6ense of the great ad- 
vantages fiat would result by saving millions 
of property annually from destruction, and 
what is of more value, it would save the health 



FRANK LESLIE AGAIN ARRESTED. 

RICH SCENE AT THE TOMBS ! 

[From the Sunday Timet.] 

Frank Leslie was again arrested yesterday morning, on win- 
plaint of Aldermen Eeed and Tuomy. The officer told Mr.LeiB* 
that hie orders. were imperative to lake him at onee before Justlot 
OBOorne at the TombB, -without allowing him to send for counsel 
or seek for bail. On arriving at the Tombs, they were met by AV 
dermen Tuomy and Reed, accompanied by Mr. John Graham, 
their counsel. Justice Osborne asked Mr. Leslie if he demanded 
an examination. Mr. Leslie stated that he had not been allowed 
time to send for his counsel, and did not know what course to pur- 
sued Justice Osborne said he could have time to send for counsel 
and for bail. 

Mr. Graham then produced the complaints. That of Alderman. 
Reed set forth that Mr. Leslie had published a picture represent- 
ing him in the garb of a butcher, with a party of Irishmen driving 
a miserable and diseased-looking cow, without tail or horns, up to 
his stall. The leader of the party, Mr. Mike O'Flannagan, is rep- 
resented as saying : " I read you tould the aldermen t'other day 
that swill-fed beef was -worth half a cent a pound more than any 
other kind of meat. Here's a beauty, yer honor ; doesn't he look 
fat and luscious? Arrah ! don't yer eyes watber tolouk at it?— 
Here's the baste ; we've brought it on purpose fer yez. Hand u 
over the dimes!" 

Alderman Reed is represented as saying :— " I don't deal in that 
kind of beef. I stated that as an alderman, not as a butcher." 

Aid. Tuomy makes two complaints against Mr. Leslie. I* th* 

first oue Aid. Tuomy i 
on board the Ericsson, 
shillelah in the other, sayu— 

I'll throw him overboard, G-d d— n him." The second one tw 
braces an alleged libellous article, and a caricature of Aldermen 
Tuonirfcaiid Reed, in which their nasal peculiarities are most out- 
rageously magnified. Mr. Graham stated to the court that he 
desired to compel Leslie to pive (3,500 bail in each case; in the two 
former instances, to keep the peace for twelve monthB ond ar> 
stain from publishing any more caricatures ; and in the third case 
to answer criminally to the Sessions. Mr. Graham proceeded to 
say that they intended to show these English scoundrels that 
they could cot libel and caricature respectable citizens'. with Ur> 

Mr. Leslie said—" You had better keep cool, Mr. Graham." 
Mr. Graham, who was evidently very much excited, lumped up 
and said—" Don't speak to me, you scoundrel, or 1 shall not M 
answerable for the consequences. I ask your Honor to note tnai 
this is an attempt to intimidate respectable counsel. These fellows 
intend to caricature the whole court. I'll neck the first man I sea 
take out out a pencil. [At this juncture our reporter took out Jua 
pencil and began to take notes.] The first acquaintance I ever 
had with him showed him (pointing to Leslie) to be a d-d 
scoundrel. If they will meet me on any fiat in New York (Point- 
ing to Leslie and his friend Watson), I'll take the heads off both 
of them. Ill show them by the swelling of their chops there • 
no Miss Nancylim about me" rahaking his fist In their faces]. 

Mr. Luirji- "We are gentlemen— we are no pufUlets, ' m. 
GrabaK." 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S AL-LIGS-ATOR. 



"Ton are a G-d d— d Enjlwh thief. I can lick 
—"Mr. Graham, you must atop thii, a* I can't 



Mr. Graham.— 
the pair of you." 

Judge Osborne 
allowft." 

Mr. Graham— Within the past seventy-two hours he ha* sent a 
akaft to the heart of the only remaining parent I have on earth, 
and the other night 1 wont down alone past his establishment, in- 
ftfrtlnr If I met mm, on the curb to whip him like a dog." 

Mr. Leslie asked if the court intended to allow such procedings 
to continue. They were gentlemen, and not blackguards. 

Aid. Reed.— If they are gentleman, one has sailed under an alias 
for the past five years." 

Mr. Leslie.—" That is not true. 

Justice Osborne.— "Gentlemen, you must stop this." 

Mr Graham.— The only question La, an two gentlemen to be 
constantly libelled by these English transports? They contamin- 
ate the air. If I stay In the room with them much longer, I shall 
suffocate. [Pointing to them.]. See what mean-looking English 
thieves they are !" ', . __ . „ , 

At this juncture, a gentleman, who we believe is air. Leslie B 
printer, got up and told Mr. Graham that he must not speak to 
him In that way. Thin style of conversation continued some time 
longer, but did not lead to any breach of the peace, although it 
s evident that Mr. Graham needed but avery small provocation 



FALL ELECTION. 



Statu o? New-Toe*, 
Office op teus Sboretabt of State, 

Albant. August 3, 1858. 



[ 

: 
OIR-NOTIOri IS HEREBY GIVEN, THAT AT THE GE- 
O neral Election to be held in this State on the Tuesday succeed- 
ing the firet Monday in November next, the following officer* are 
to %e elected, to wit : 

AGovERKon, in the place of John A, King; „ „ _ 

A Lieutenant Governor, in the place of Henry R. Selden ; 

A Canal Commissioner, in the place of Samuel B. Ruggles, ap- 
pointed in place of Samuel S. "Whallon, deceased ; 

An Inspector of State Prison?, in the place of William A. 
Russell ; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of Decem- 

A Representative in the ThLrty-eLxth Congress of the United 
States for the Third Congressional District, composed of the 
First, Second, Third, Fifth and Eighth Wards in the city of New 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Fourth Congressional District, composed of the 



was ... 

to make him take off his coat and "go In. 

Mr. Leslie gave the required bail to keep the peace, justifying nw» u Sixth Tenth and Fourteenth Wards In the city of New 
himself, in $6,000, and two suretios ol $2,500 each. Messrs. Sam I Yo rk • 
S. Sherwood and Alexander Douglass became his bail. 

Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit.— From two to four seconds, or a6 long as the Advertiser 
«an hold his breath ! Letters and Advertisements to be left at No. 
114 Nassau -street, second story, front room. 



The abOTe is published pursuant to the notice of the Secretary 
of State, aad the requirement* of the Statute in such caw bm<K 

and proTided. 

JAMES 0. WILLET, "<! 

Sheriff of the City and County of New Tork, 

ry All the public newspapers In the county will publish the 
above once in each week until the election, and then hand In their 
bills for advertising the same, so that thej may be bid befora the 
Board of Supervisors, and passed for payment. See Revised 
Stat, vol, 1, chap. 6, title S, article 2d, part 1st, page 140. 



COREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S EXCHANGE, WALL 
street, New York, Notaries Public and Commissioners— United 
atates Passports issued In 3G hours.— Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and 

Notes protested,— Marine protests noted and extended. 

EDWIN F. COREY, 
EDWIN F. COREY, Jr. 

HERRING'S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR- 
glar Proof Safe, with Hall's Patent Powder Proof Locks, 
afford tlie greatest security of any Safe in the world. Also, Side- 
board and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship and finish, tor 
plate, Ac. S. C. HERRING & CO., 

251 Broadway 



QANTE MENTO.-No. 29 ATTORNEY STREET, NEAR 
J5 Grand, has a superior assortment of Cloths, Cassimeres, and 
Vestings, made to order in the most fashionable and approved Pa- 
risian styles, and at short notice. Let gentlemen call and patronize 
me, and! will do my utmost to pleasemy customers. 



J VAN TINE, SHAN GAE RESTAURANT, No. 
« street, New York. 



1 DEY 



S&J.W. BARKER. GENERAL AUCTIONEERS & REAL 
v ESTATE BROKERS. Loans negotiated. Houses and 
Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds Sold at Auction or Private Sale 



Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses. 
Office, 14 Pine street, under Commonwealth Bank. 



CARLTON HOUSE 406 BROADWAY, NEW YORK, 
Bates and Holden, Proprietors. 
THEOPHILUS BATES. 
OREL J. HOLDEN. 



GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND COMMISSION 
Merchants, No. 106, Wall street, corner of Front street, New 
York. 



SAMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER — 
My Office la at No. 31 Corlears street. New York; and my yards 
and residence are at Greenpoint. 1 have built Ships and Steamers 
for every portion of the Globe, for a long-term of years, and con 
tinue to do so on reasonable terms. SAMUEL SNEDEN. 



FULLMER AND WOOD, CARRIAGE MANUFACTUR 
ers, No. 239 West Nineteenth street. New York. 
Horse-shoeing done with dispatch, and In the most scientific 
manner, and on reasonable terms. 



BOOT & SHOE EMPORIUM.— EDWIN A BROOKS, IM- 
porter and Manufacturer of Boots, Shoes and Gaiters, 
Wholesale and Retail, No. 575. Broadway, and 150 Fulton Street, 
New York. 



WILLIAM M. SOMERYIXLE, WHOLESALE AND RE- 
tail Druggist and Apothecary, 205 Bleecker street, corner of 
Minetta, opposite Cottage Place, New York. All the popular Pat- 
ent Medicines, Fresh Sweedish Leeches, Cupping, &c. Physicians' 
Prescriptions accurately prepared, WM. M. SOMERVILLE. 

AW. & T. HUME, MERCANT TAILORS, No. 82 6th 
» Avenue, New York. We keep a large and elegant assort- 
ment of every article that a gentleman requires. We make Coats, 
Vests and Pants, after the latest Parisian fashions, and on reason 
able terms. A. W. & T. HUME. 



THE WASHINGTON, BY BARTLETT & GATES, No. 1 
Broadway, New York. Come and see us, good friends, and 
eat, and drink, and be merry, in the same capacious and patriotic 
halls where the Immortal Washington's voice and laugh once rever- 
berated. 

O come to our Hotel, 
And you'll be treated well. 

BAKTLETT & GATES. 



MC SPEDEN & BAKER, STATIONERY WAREHOUSE 
and Envelope Manufactory. Nos. 29, 81, and 33 Beekman St 
New York. 

Envelopes of all patterns, styles and quality on hand, and 
made to order for the trade and others, by Steam Maclunery 
Patented April 8th, 1856. 



FULTON IRON WORKS JAMES MBRPHY & CO. 
Manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines. Boilers, &c 
Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry Street, East River. 



BRADD1CK & HOGAN, SALEMAKERS, No.272 SOUTH 
Street, New York. 
A&ningH,Tentaand Bags made to order. 
5 B JESRE A. BRADDICK, 

RICHARD HOGAN. 



K Rf.i'resf.ntativh in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States for the Fifth Congressional District, composed of the Sev- 
enth and Thirteenth Wards of the city of New York, and the 
Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth and Sixteenth Wards of Brook- 

' a' Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States for the Sixth Congressional District, composed of the 
Eleventh. Fifteenth and Seventeenth Wards in the City of New 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States for the Seventh Congressional District, composed of the 
Ninth,' Sixteenth, and Twentieth Wards In the City of New 

And also a Representative In the Thirty-sixth Congress of the 
United States for the Eighth Congressional District, composed of 
the Twelfth, Eighteenth, Nineteenth. Twenty-first, and Twenty- 
second Wards in the City of New York. 

COUNTY OFFICERS ALSO TO BE ELECTED FOR SAID 
COUNTY. 
Seventeen Members of Assembly : 
A SnERipr, in the place of James O, Willett ■ 
A County Clerk, In the place of Richard b. Connolly : 
Four Coroners, in the place of Frederick W. Perry, Edward 
Connerv, Robert Gamble and Samuel C Hills ; 
All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of December 

ne th'e attention of Inspectors of Election and County Canvassers 
is directed to Chapter oiO of Laws of 1868, a copy of which is 
printed, for instructions in regard to their duties under said law. 
''submitting the question of calling a Convention to revise the 
Constitution and amend the same to the people of the State. 

Chap. 320. 
AN ACT to submit the question of calling a Convention to revise 
the Constitution and amend the same, to the People of the 
State: . , , 

Passed April 17, 18oS— three-fltths being present. 
The People of the Stale of New York, represented m henate 
and Assembly, do enact as follows : 
Seotion 1 The Inspectors of Election in each town, ward and 
election district in tins State, at the annual election to be held In 
November next, shall provide a proper box to receive the ballots 
of the citizens of this State entitled to vote for members of the 
Legislature at such election. On such ballot shall be written or 
printed, or partly written and printed, by those voters who are in 
favor of a Convention, the words : ■-' Shall there be a Convention 
to Revise the Constitution and amend the same ? Yes. Ana try 
those voters who are opposed thereto, the words : Shall there be 
a Convention to Revise the Constitution and amend the same / 
No " And all citizens entitled to vote as aforesaid shall be allow- 
ed to vote by ballot as aforesaid, in the election district m which 
he resides, and not elsewhere. , 

52 So much of the articles one, two and three, of title lour, or 
chapter one hundred and thirty, of an act entitled An act re 
spectlng elections other than for militia and town officer, passed 
April fifth, eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending 
the same, us regulates the manner of conducting e ections and 
lh .\ Ul „„,.., ,,hsto be administered, and inquiries to be made, pi 
persons offering to vote, shall be deemed applicable to the votes to 
be eiven or offered under the act : and the manner of voting and 
challenges, and the penalties for false swearing, prescribed by law, 
are hereby declared in full force and effect in voting or offering to 
vote under this act. ■ . ... ..„«„ 

5 2 The said votes given for and against a convention, in pursu- 
ance of this act, shall be canvassed by the Inspectors of the several 
election districts or polls of the said election in the manner pre- 
scribed by law, and as provided in article four, of title four ot 
chapter one hundred and thirty of the said act, passed April fifth, 
ei»lit-cn hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending the same, 
as far as the same are applicable ; and such canvass shall be com- 
pleted by ascertaining the whole number of votes given in each 
election district or poll for a convention, and the whole number ot 
votes given against such convention, in the form aforesaid ; and 
the result being found, the inspectors shall make a statement in 
ords. at lull length, of the number of ballots received in relation 
to such convention, and shall also state in words, at full length 
the whole number of ballots having thereon the words, Shall 
there be a Convention to revise the Constitution and amend the 
same'' No." Such statements as aforesaid shall contain a cap- 
tion stating the day on which, and the number of the district, the 
town or ward, and the county at which the election was held, and 
at the end thereof a certificate that such statement Is correct in all 
respects, which certificate shall be subscribed by all the inspectors, 
and a true copy of such statement shall be Immediately filed by 
them in the office of the clerk of the town or city. 

6 4 The original statements, duly certified as aforesaid, 'ball be 
delivered by the inspectors, or one of them to be deputed for that 
purpose to the supervisor, or, in case there be no supervisor, or 
he shall be disabled from attending the board of convaesers, then 
to one of the assessors of the town or ward, within twenty-four 
hours after the same shall have been subscribed by such inspec- 
tors, to be disposed of as other statements at such election, are 

"To r somuch of articles first, second, third, and fourth, of title 
fifth of chanter one hundred and thirty, of the act entitled, An 
act respecting elections other than for militia and town officers, 
and the acts amending the same, as regulateathe dnaesofConn- 
ty Canvassers and their proceedings, and the out; of Count) 
Clerks, and the Secretary of State, and the Board of State Can. 
vaasere, shall be applied to the canvassing and ascertaining the 
will of the people ot this State in relation to the proposed con- 
JentSn and if it shall appear that a majority of the votes or 
ballots given in and returned as aforesaid are against a conven- 



FRANCI8 B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE AND RETAJJfc 
CLOTHING 4 FURNISHING WAREHOUSE, No. W 
and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester Btreets, New York, 
Large and elegant assortments of Youths' and Boys' Clothing. 

J.' G.' BARNUM, ' 

F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense Ertab- 
lishmcnt. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY! An entire New 
Stock of GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S and CHILDREN'S 
CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best workmen in the 
city, isnow opened for inspection. Also, a superior stock of FUR- 
NISHING GOODS. Ail articles are of the Best Quality -and hay- 
ing been purchased during the crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERT 
LOW ' The Custom Department contains the greatest variety of 
CLOTHS. CASSIMERES, and VESTLNGB. „ A _„i_, 

Mr.BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BARNUM, 
who has had great experience in the business, having been thirty 
years connected with the leading Clothing Establishments of the 
city. 



JAMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD-TWENTY-SIXTH 
street and Second Avenue. I always have all kinds of coal 
on hand, and of the very best quality, which I will sell as low as 
anyothercoal dealer in the United States. „„„,.,., T _ 

JAMES DONrih.LLI. 



WILLIAM COULTER, CARPENTER.- 
been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who ' 

.a ... .1 ,.!-.,...... ll ,t 1 vvt il l.,lil.l -w .'. I, "1 hOtlSM 



I HAVE LONG 

sure all who wffl 

favor me with their patronage, that I will build as good houses, or 
anything else In my line, as any other carpenter in the city of New 
York. I will also be as reasonable in charges for my work at 
any other person. 

opk. 



WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter, 
Rear of 216 East Twentieth street, New Y 



WW. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 9 CHAMBER 
, street, near Chatham street, New York. 



SOLOMON BANT A, ARCHITECT, NO. 93 AMOS STREET, 
New York. I have built as many houses and stores as any 
Architect In this city, or the United States, and I can produce vou- 
chers to that effect; and I flatter myself that I can build edifice* 
that will compare favorably. In point of beauty aud durability, with 
those of any Architect In this country. I am prepared to receive 
orders in my line of business at No. 93 Amoastrcet.New York. 

SOLOMON BANTA. 



ONDERDONK. — THIRTEENTH WARD 
HoteC 406 and 407 Grand street, corner of Clinton street, 
New Y'ork. 



T> OBERT 



CHAIR & OFFICE FURNI- 
:turer, Nc 
of Read street, New York, Room No. 15. 



W ture Dealer' and Manufacturer; No. 269 Broadway, cornet 



HOUSE— JOSEPH HYDE PROPRIETOR, 
comer Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors.and Cigars 
of the best brands. He Invites his friends to give him a oau. 
Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons. 



-piASHION 



WILLIAM A. CONKLTN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL- 
lor at Law, No. 176 Chatham street, New York. Any busi- 
ness entrusted to his charge from citizens of this city or any part 
of the country, will receive prompt and faithful attention, aad be 
conducted on reasonable terms. „,.,,.,, , „„.,,- TT , T 
W ILLI AM A. CONKLIN. 

" KNAPP & CO., WHOLESALE AND RETAIL 
Dealers In Butter, Cheese, Eggs,Poultry and country produoe, 
No! — Clinton Market, opposite Page's Hotel, New York. 

GEO. KNAPP. 
H.D.ALBERS. 



GIEO. 



H JONES & HOFF. whose place of business is in front of the 
• Astor House, keenal] the latest publications of the day. In- 
cluding all the Daily and Weekly Nowspapers. The public patroa- 
age Is most respectfully solicited. 



FOWLER. CARPENTER AND BUILDER 



EDMUND _ 
No.74Reade street, near Broadway, New York. 
N. B.— All kinds of Jobbing doneat short notice. 



BOWERY NEWS DEPOT, NO. ITT BOWERY.-CON- 
stantly on hand, Dally, Sunday, and Weekly Papers, Monthly 
Magazines. Play Books, Stationary, Ac, &c. English Papers per 

Steamers. All orders punctually attended to. 

BENNET & CARROLL. 



AMERICAN GLASS COMPANY, MANUFACTURE AND 
keen constantlyon hand at their Warehouse, Plain, Moulded, 
and Cut Flint Glass Ware, In all its varieties. Also Druggists' and 
Perfumers' Ware of all Kinds. Wholesale Warehouses, No. 1*5 
Pearl street, New York, and No. 64 Kllby street. Boston. (Facto- 
ries at South Boston.) D. Burrill & Co., Agents, New York. 

J NO. WARD. JR., REAL ESTATE AGENT, OFFICES 
No. 5 Tryon Row, corner Chatham street, (opposite the Park,) 
a ew York, and 4th Avenue, near 126th street, Harlem. 



jjj^waj.'New *York— Depots for the sale of Perfumery, and 

every article connected with the Toilet. 

We now Introduce the "BOUUUET D'OGARITA. or Wild 
Flower of Mexico," which is superior to anything of the kind in 
the civilized world. EDWARD PHALON ft SON. 



PC. GODFREY, STATIONER, BOOKSELLER, AUD 
. General News dealer, No. 831 Broadway, New York, near 
13th street. 



AUGUST BRENTANO, CORNER OF HOUSTON STREET 
and Broadway, has all the latest Publications, and receives 
all the Foreign Papers by every steamer. He also has the back 
numbers of almost every paper published, including Branch s 
"Alligator." 

/ (LINTON LUNCH, OYSTER AND DINLW SALOON, 

I i No 19 lV.-kman street. The best of Liquors and Cigars. 
UEO. W. WARNER. 
SAMUEL M. MILLER. 



tion. then the said canvassers are require to cert tv and declare 
that fact bv a certificate, subscribed by them.' and filed with the 
Secretary b! State : but if it shall appear by the said canvass that 
a majority of the ballots or vol, s given as aturc.-ald are lor a con- 
ve inn. then th,i shall bv like certificates, to be hied as afore- 
said, declare that tact ; and tin said Secretary shall communicate 
acopvof such certificate to both branches of the Legislature, 
at the onenlng of the next session thereof: Yours, respectfully. 
irnnSm r TUCKER, Secretary of State. 



i^JKtlUS ■ GIDEON J. 



SHEBirT's Oftice, 
New Yobk, August 4, 1368. 



1) 



AVID WILLIAMS. ATTORNEY AM) COUNSELLOR 
at Law, No. 15 Centre street. New York. 



JW MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE AND 
. Retail dealers in all kinds .if Chairs, Wash Stands, Settees, 
Ac, No.S77and379Pe«rlstreet,New York. 
Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, ui Boxes, for Shipping. 



ENJAMLN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN REAL 

J l,ots for sale m all parts 

of Broadway, Seventh 



J3"3Sate, Houses"and~sforei "an i Lots foi 



of the City. Office at the junction 
avenue, and Forty-sixth street. 




Am 



Volume I—Ho. 19. 

[Reported by Our Reporter.] 

A Political Social Party—The Wire-Pull- 
BraS Ulg Notes -What they fhinkof 

[Scene opens in a private coomj attached to 
a drinking saloon, near Bleecker street where 
toff gun, are admitted by checks printed on 
sundry scraps ot cards, winch read :—'• Admit 
-ur. — a tried and proved Political Sucker."] 

The, leaders being assembled, and each one 
Having rebanished the inner man by various 
glasses ot doubtful li, JUO r, and settling them- 
selves quietly down to enjoy the luscious flavor 
01 a Havana segar— manufactured in New York 



J^ATURDAY, AUGUST 28, 1858. 



resolution. But, about-abont those contracts 
Sucker No. 1 [who acts as chairman, jumps 



fmm ™m s 7 — """"""""reuiiiflefflork some of hs friends bv furnishing t! ' ' 
^cabbage leaves, fcc-the conversation and still W ta & &£*& &"£?£ 



tbus opens: 

Sucker No 1-1 say ! gentlemen, we have 
made a bad strike !— yes, a d-d bad strike I 

auelcer Alo. 2, (looking up in surprise)— Mow 
—I a., not understand you, Brother 

Sucker No. 8.— Neither do I, unless be al- 
ludes to that unfortunate affair of Branch— a 
poor, unlawful devil, whom our most worthy 
Mayor and that Pnnce of Recorders, Barnard 
have caused to be employed to "do the State 
some service." And I say he has received his 



people honor and appreciate the Mayor and 

fcSVa the v f course ' h " 1 to act - 

c oi ding to the evidence given, and the rules 

and regulations of the Court— hence the nublic I n " ""- ™ ".au-man, mps 

wi not think anything wrong of tLm i , h' J ",' '" akeS a ^l' e ^h)-Sorry to 

will have a powerful roactioif on om ■ p. rtv- oL "? T#? ° f Sacker Na 2 so ^ruptiy 

Sucker No. 3— Then, Brothers, I say to vou 
as Brothers of this immaculate body of Suck- 
ers, ,t behoves ns as Chiefs in eomman of 
tins fraternity, to get Branch out-no differ- 
ence as to the means. We can, perhaps use 
some ot his friends, by furnishing the money 



not to be considered; we have too much at 
stake to hesitate on account oi dollars ami 
cents. Our popularity must be redeemed— or 
^washed just as you please .,, ,,,n the 
term. \\ hat say yon. Brother Suckers s 

bucket No. 2 (who appears to be deeph lost 
in some contract speculation, look-, upi-That 

last contract of ours for pav Ah ' I bee 

pardon for alluding to a new subject; hut the 

tact is 1 cannot get those contracts — - 

-Sucker No. 2, will please not 



H^oonfu r ■> " c uaH received Pis flunrmm £ 

J-g -ureas I am called by this fraternity wander ■*£& su bject. but J-JC^" 

marks to the object for which this meeting 
was called By reference to Art. 78 of the 



Sucker A o. l.- Yea , brother, that is the 
worst stroke ot political policy we ever made, 
the Press says so too, with but one or two ex- 
ceptions, and these exceptions are worthless to 
us as nobody cares what the Satanic says, (it 
not being quoted on 'Change;; and as to the 
Leader ot Democracy, that is little better than 

"' "f,^ ot • "; ei ;c.less set of editorial scamps, 
who take a fiendish delight in exhibiting us to 
the public in as many colors as the eamelion ; 
and besides, they are backed np by at least 
two-thirds of the community, who have no 
particular love for us-all of them, apparently 
A,ul P f M, IDg "n h u tWs sca P e -S°at, Branch 



.„„., , , .; , ~»wv„. uu. a so aoruptiy 

' an t help it, however, as he will not cou- 
nt f /° }H subject > ,je must «»nam 
Mlent and stand liquor all round. [No 2 
pays the liquor with bad grace.] There, that 

■o rtr " le gV ^ ly [alludin e t0 the H*™*, of 
couisej; now to the question. The conclusion 
you have arrived at relative to Branch and the 
Press, generally, I have bee, deeply cogitating 
m my own mind during the last "two weeks" 
iheseare the most important drawbacks we 
have ever had to contend against since the 
organization ot this fraternity. God knows 
»'■ have no sympathy for our victims, and 
certainly not for Branch; still, I am for pnrsn 
ing that me of policy which will benefit o U r- 

fnJnt i ,' S n , 0t F 0l .' Cy t0 P ersecut e Branch 
further. Our leech-tangs must be let loose— 
I" must be set at liberty. He can be of great 
service to us this fall. We must secure a ma- 
jority ot the city government at the next elec- 
tion^that ,s, have a majority pledged to our 
interest! l no difference what then 



c 1 1 1 • 1 1 ■ political 
' reed may be. Suckers, you know have norh 

By-laws/the Broth;; wmlind he" lias' b Jen 7 M 8 "* T'"^ ' ^ ' ; ' "'" >• «'" 
olating an important duty, which y " E 1 ! ^ mouth of each Sucker.] In order 

ery member of the Fratemttfof tuckers is to er e nf r^ el ! ction ° f those who wiU °«* 
conduct himself in the manner of a leech Ind S T? V " mst have Branch out 

never let go to grasp a new object , theW f" ^ 0t gl ' e:U senioe to ™ 

life-blood is all sucked out. and Cv bft'h „' w'TT' "* T 7 , be '&* * we can g e t 

destitute of sustenance." And farther "It S K 7 ■ n *P«™>«^ him that we are his best 
thus" we read in another part of the B 1« M Jo^ ^^ electi °"- ^ ^ becomes 



. — — ^..o ,„ r mqiera 

sity of first settling the account with our pres- 
ent victim — Branch 

;;::a'',i"i r.:; 1 ": 1 '" 1 ' ^Justness of the 



over to our side, ^-fSJS&ISS^ flS."^! ■" *?" "^"^^ ° f —- 

w- I** ^ y ° f Wire -P« lli ><y Suckers, had 
better leave for parts unknown. 

Sucker No. 2.— I coincide 



= with Brother 
Sucker No. 1. He speaks very truly We 
must check-mate this hue-and-cry of the Press 
some way or another. It will not do to 
threaten them with the fate of Branch-that 
woud only make them worse— yes, the verv 
devi s in their establishments would set an a 
Howl. No, no ! we must avoid all further de- 
monstrations of this kind. The Press will not 
be threatened. Hence you see the precarious 
predicament we occupy. No doubt but the 



~~«i,iiiim ux ours — now 

being carried on towards completion by our 
agents, that r ' 

f'^' -\<< ; 3 (rising i„ great indignation)-! 
call the Brother, Sucker No. 2, to order' He 
is wandering to those infernal contracts again. 
I hope the Chair will sustain its dignity by 
compelling the Brother to stick to Branch < 

CAavrman—The Brother will .peak on the 
subject before the , house or remain silent. 

eonS- qu ^ V3n hXrace fift fflS V^' U « ' *- -~ 

question-after liquoring all roun 1 l-I pe ■ J w/ 7 f T""!' ^ »'° h '"""- 

foctly agree with\he last propoffi sugg'es -" mean o'in inuat _ b'^ 6 S», ^ W Joes uot 

ed by our worthy Brother, and second ifaTa P hcab le to me W ° rd Iustltute " »* *P" 



h ugh as only suckers can.] I say, Brother 
Suckers, considering the rich pickings, by way 
"' '■'"■ ""A &c, after the first of 'January 
est. this ,s the best course to be pursued to 
Ine our pockets from the public treasury. 
And now, m eonclusion Brother Suckers I 
move we take . glass of rot-gut ami a Jnnl 
cigar, and adjourn until this night week, when 
we "ill agam meet here at the hour of 8 
"' dock P.M. Dmjng the week you will have 
time to think over this matter fully, and come 
prepared to vote and act decisively 

Sucter No. 2.-I like the offer of that rot 

gut lust-rate; yonr speech was long enough to 

ihll in hi ims,tit»i*» ... . » , 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'SALLIGATOR, 



Sucker M 2.— Wo! not in the least (the most tyrannical. We, of all r 

JS"! T^i Xf i ?, CaUed f ° r ,he ,if| " n '- mi the earth ' 8hOTM be ™ st jealous of the Hbe? 
O ; ™ f IK ? 6 ^ e ? tiD8 ^""'■""'l- \ \ ™ <* &« P'ess, and in every instance of vio- 
Our reporter thinks thelasl word he heard latlan of this glorious perogative, we should 



Sucker No. 2 say, as he stepped" out "o'Fthe 
door, was something to the effect thai "he 
would be d— d if he wouldn't have something 
to say about (hose contracts at the nexi meei 

ing." 

In our next, if our reporter is permitted to 
listen at the key-hole, (an arrangement which 
he has made with the bar-keeper.) we will 
give the proceedings of their next assemblage 



Answers to Correspondents. 

"Ubto" asks: "if it is a fact that two of 
the parties greatly interested in the libel 
against Branch, were on the Island about the 
time that he arrived there, and used their in- 
fluence in procuring for him a situation in the 
worst part of the quarry gang." We can be- 
lieve almost anything, but cannot think such 
to be the case. 

"J- L."— It is true that Branch's clerk went 
to the Island to get instructions as to some of 
his business matters, and was refused an au- 
dience with him on any conditions, even in 
presence of a third party. 

f,»i-ERv.— Some people are curious to know 
"hen the Mayor expects to collect that "little 
balance" (which he swore on the Branch trial 
was still due him) from the pretty matron 
And allow us to ask, at the present moment 
whether "the matron" has sold her furniture 
or who is the individual who has that and her 
in keeping? 



"New York, Saturday, August 28, 1858. 

Shame— Where is Thy Blush? 

["he sentence of Mr. Stephen H. Branch af- 

ordsa very satisfactory commentary upon the 

™Pohcy and impotency of an elected judiciary 

1 • hallenge the entire history of English jur- 

I I '" r " to produce a parallel to this one in- 

■■"•" yea, even the annals of those reckless 
decisions delivered by the infamous Jeffries 
when the majesty of the law was temporarily 
prostituted to subserve political vengeence 
We will not say that Mr. Recorder Barnard 
m his method of trying Mr. Branch, intended 
to emulate the example of that notorious ma- 
Ristl ate hut this we do say, that he has covert- 
b ailed a greal principle— one which, if 
rnrtner attacked, will destroy the cardinal 
point of our political independence. Mr Re- 
corder Barnard has virtually abrogated the 
freedom of the Press,— and, in imposing the 
leaviesl possible penalty upon an individual 
has sought to demonstrate, in this era of pre- 
sumptive freedom, that the power of the bench 
is a controlling force over the influence of the 
I . declared by the patriotic author of Ju- 
nius to be the palladium of a nation's Hbertji • 
Indeed, Mr. Recorder Barnard, while deliver 
ln 6' judgment, alludes, with evident satisfac- 
tion, to the prospective tendency of the sen 
tence by him imposed ; he tried not only the 
cs e before him, but others which he imagined 
were to come into existence: and, without 
any evidence of the fact, passed judgment upon 
M individual for crimes to be committed in 
the future. He told the prisoner thai he had 
libelled Daniel Sickles. Emanuel Hart, and 
other worthies. And was there a syllable of 
testimony delivered before that court, wherein 
the names of these individuals had even been 
whispered ? 

Next to the right of revolution, that oi free 
speech is the most sacred to a liberty loving 
people. Of all serfdom that of the "mind is 



enquire as well into the motives of the indi 
viduals as the'damage done by his offence. We 
do not believe the language 'of the law to be 
purely technical, and, therefore, deem it injus- 
tice to imply criminality unless literally ex- 
pressed. Mr. Recorder Barnard has probably 
sufficient acquaintance with criminal law to 
have encountered the case of John Wilkes, 
against whom the thunder of the common law 
of libel fell harmless from the excessive jeal- 
ousy of a free people, dreading that in his pun- 
ishment they might inflict a wound upon the 
body politic. And it was only by reviving 
antique and absurd laws against sedition and 
blasphemy, that the ministry of England could 
procure the conviction of a man, before whose 
pen they quailed. We desire Mr. Recorder Bar- 
nard to take down the voluinne of the State 
Trials containing this case, and upon some 
pleasant afternoon to peruse it carefnllv. It 
will teach him a valuable lesson in political 
ethics; it may temper his evident anxiety to 
fetter freedom of the Press ; it may cultivate 
in his breast a symptom of charity ; and above 
all, it may teach him the high value the people 
of England placed upon the principle of free 
speech by refusing to convict, under the law 
of libel, a man of notorious obscenity and pro- 
fanity. John Wilkes was a principle with 
the people of England, and may not we of 
this city be permitted to regard Stephen H. 
Branch in a similar capacity. 

It is assuredly grateful to us to have in our 
midst so inflexible, so agile, so Solomonic, a 
magistrate as Mr. Recorder Barnard, and ever 
will we bless the day when be condescended 
to emerge from obscurity and to diffuse the 
rays of justice from the somewhat dingy court 
room of the Sessions. And were he not checked 
by overweening modesty, there is no bound 
to be placed to the extension of bis political 
dignity. Taking the case of Stephen H. 
Branch as a criterion of his magisterial great- 
ness, Mr. Recorder Barnard may augment in 
brilliancy and lucidity, until future generations 
will honor his na me when those of Eldon, 
Camden, Kent and Storey are forgotten. 

But fearing least Mr. Barnard may not be in 
a position to glean public sentiment, we will 
take the liberty of informing him as to the 
light in which our independent citizens regard 
the punishment of Mr. Branch. 

We regard that, all malice on the part of the 
prisoner remaining unproven, bis punishment 
far exceeds his crime. We regard that, denial 
being insisted upon of his offers to prove the 
sources whence he derived his information, 
and consequently of the motives for its publi- 
cation, an undue advantage was taken of his 
position at the bar. We regard that, taking 
the ordinary custom of courts for the past few- 
years into consideration, this punishment of 
Branch draws an invidious distinction between 
the rich man and the poor one. How many 
fcimi i has that veteran libeller, James Gordon 
Bennett, practically courted punishment and 
received it not? We regard that in the per- 
son of Mr. Branch, a serious blow has been 
struck against the principles of a Free Press. 
Were we to desert, him in this hour, we would 
be ingratcs to the truths of American Inde- 
pendence. 



The Stuffed Beasts at the Hall. 

The electric telegraph is a great, institution, 
but the Common Council is a greater. The 
telegraph only performs marvels, "our Common 
Council are to attempt an impossibility. Over- 
powered with joy at the completion of the 
Atlantic cable, our municipal fathers have 
arranged a programme of festivity, which, as a 
matter of course, takes in a corporation dinner, 
for since the days of the Athenian Pericles eat- 
ing and drinking at the public expense con- 
stitute the mainspring of Aldermanic rejoic- 
ing. Now, as they cannot fire off a hundred 
guns, or blaze away fire-works in the munici- 
pal tea-room, we, common people, can express 
our ]oy by gazing upon these pyrotechnical 
displays, but when it comes to dinner — we're 
not there. 

Now this proceeding we consider unfair in 
the extreme, for is it not rational to suppose 
that, if the joy of an Alderman requires cham- 
paigne and turtle, the like joy of us, poor 
devils, cannot he satiated without crackers and 
cheese ? The goose's sauce should be likewise 
that of the gander? And have we not a right 
to demand at least a smell of the edibles, so 
lavishly secured from the public till ? If eat- 
ing and drinking be the standard of our joy 
at the great event of the age, why not let us 
all have a chance in ? Let us open the soup 
houses, fill the Croton Reservoir with lager, 
have hand carts of doughnuts and crullers, 
and let all hands have a good time generally. 
But the best of the joke is that our Aldermen 
are to dine simultaneously with the corpora- 
tion of London. Now, considering that the 
sun travels some four to five hours behind the 
telegraph, our Aldermen will have to shove 
the old fellow along to dine simultaneously 
with any body on the other side of the pond. 
Joshua attempted to regulate the movements 
of Sol, but then Joshua was not an Alder- 
man. 



A VALUABLE ENQUIRY . 

Some Western merchant, evidently mistak- 
ing the quality of our journal, has sent us a 
letter, enquiring the marketable price of putty. 
Did it not happen that His Honor, the Mayor, 
oossesses a soul above business, we might re 



Peter Funks, High and Low. 

Everybody knows Peter, who sells bogus 
watches; everybody knows his den, his modms 
operand i and the tricks of his trade; he is Low 
Peter Funk. But we have likewise a High Pe- 
ter Funk, who, masked in the garb of respecta- 
bility, looks with contempt upon his baser 
brothers. 

Just imagine a good sized counting-room in 
the heart of the business part of the city, with 
sundry clerks in the inside and a red flag on 
out. And there High Peter himself is the fea- 
ture of the establishment, a portly man. whose 
well-lined stomach has been the receptacle of 
charity food from public dinners for years past. 
With a gruff voice and an indecent familiarity, 
1 ie ape, the -cut leman, but looms out the hog. He 
don't sell bogus watches, not he. High Peter 
deals in storks, town lots, railroad and mining 
shares, besides holding lucrative offices, just by 
the way of amusement that is High Peter. . 

We may be stupid, but we must say we have 
been unable to ascertain the precise distinction 
between the. two Peters, although great, Put- 
tyman, the mayor, has drawn it down to a 
nicety. ( > i ii- Solon makes Low Peter frequent- 
ly disgorge, when he palms upon a verdant, 
countryman a pinch had, watch, which has at 
least, a nominal value; still he never interferes 
with High Peter, when the widow, deluded by 
High Peter's fluent speech, invests her all in 
some wild-cat railway bonds, not worth beyond 
the weight of the paper on which they are 
printed. On the contrary, the Great Put- 
tyman accepts an invitation to dinner, and, in 
High Peter's fascinating society, demonstrates 
the admirable fact, that there exists an aristo- 
cracy even in Peter Funkism. Notwithstand- 
ing this precedent, we must say, we keep aloof 
from the Peters, and if we have any sympathy 



t^^r ndentt0bim f0raSOlUtiOU l,f i'« ""-J' ^ ; viu; Low Peter7 who/ if'h7be- 
1 ■* Jthiet, is a thiel at retail. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



The Ten Governors and their Subs. 

At a meeting of the Board of Ten Govern- 
ors, the following preamble and resolution was 
manimouslv passed, upon motion of Mr. God- 
'rey Gunther : 

JPAereos.John Filch. Warden of the Penitentiary, hai 

i to Hen? the peremptory ordei of a Governor For a friend of his 

iner under his charge : and whereas, the Governors 

■ ra vested in them, are entitled to res- 

Mtnil consideral r rhe Wardens : therefore, 

Thai Ihe Warden of the Penitentiary, on and after 

; ''■' , ' "■',"'-' ,,l/ ' ": ,: ',' of any Governor to visil apiisoner 

V" ; r >" 1 ''. himself res) slble for the 

inaction of the part] to whom said order is eiven ; 11 

ipv of said resolution be fur>v,,ni,>,i to the Warden of t he Puii- 

'ntiary. 

It appears that a few individuals, desirous of 
onciliating the worst propensities of flic mean- 
it beings, placed in power above them, have 



A New Field of Glory. 
The Atlantic Telegraph, beside uniting the 
two hemispheres, has called into existence a 

new being to be deified as a pure saint on the 
American calender. Mr. Cyrus TV. Field now 
appears as the greatest and best of American 
patriots, and there can be but little douhl thai 
those, who have never known this Mr. field 
personally in his business transactions, really 
balieve him to be a supeior being. In fact 
Archbishop John, in the dedication of the 
new Cathedral, has placed his name in equal 
place of honor with the Virgin of Immaculate 
conception, St. Patrick and the ever to be cel- 
ebrated John Hughes. Unless a man was tol 



-'. r .. _ v „ . ^ i/u-. •»», iinr^ — — p*-.wv. v. nh «fl «l till l II (TOO II. » 1 - 

i far lent themselves to the desires of their I erahly well versed in Latin, and most of all in 

the very bad Latin of Archbishop John, it 
would be difficult to conceive unto whom the 
Cathedral was dedicated— to St. Patrick, the 
Virgin Mary, or to Cyrus W. Field. 

_ At the first glance, the legend of the Arch- 
bishop, which like a lady's epistle, bears aP. S. 
confers the highest honors on Mr. Field, whom a 
majority of our readers will recognize as a very 
extensive dealer in paper and rags in Cliff 
street. In truth it is well known that Mr. 
Field, before his entry into the Transatlantic 
Telegraph business, was addicted to the com- 
paratively contemptible business of paying bis 
clerks the minimum of salary for the maximum 
of work done, and that this worthv citizen on 
one occasion caused himself to be presented 
with a set of plate, paid for by himself, in the 
name of his employees and an ungrateful pub- 
lic, contemptibly insinuated that he charged 
them with the expenses of the supper, incurred 
upon the event of his proper self-glorification. 
We admire the dignity of our citizens in this 
instance. We have ignored the claims of Mau- 
ry, of Morse, and of other greatmen, whose ge- 
nius and sagacity have created the great work, 
inthe success of which we rejoice; we have 
picked out the smallest, and him let us glorify 



iperiors as to sacrifice the first principles of 
umanity to an adulation of the creatures, oasu- 
lly holding dignity of office. These creatures 
-men we will not call them, fearing that man- 
ood may be disgusted by association with 
ich contemptible beings, — desire to isolate 
lemselves from the good ..pinions of their 
;ighbors ; and bravely have thev succeeded in 
icir work of toadyism. The bold, rebuke of 
r. Gunther will assuredly call them to their 
ity; in the meanwhile, allow us to assure 
em that the stern opinion of the community 
■noeive them unworthy of the trust reposed 
them. He who insults the fallen, is to be 
garde d as the most pitiable of cowards. 



Whence the Sigh? 

We seldom take up a daily paper without 
iding in its columns some notice of a suicide, 

an attempt at suicide, by some of those un- 
rtunnte creatures, misnamed women of plea- 
re. In fact it must be remarked that self- 
strnction is almost an epidemic among cy- 
ians. 

There never can be an effect without a 
use, and we think we can solve the mystery 
tbis murderous fever. It is to be attribu- 
1 to the unwise, uncharitable and unmanly 
rsecution of this pitiable class by Mayors of 
;w York, who to gain a passing" popularity 
t.h irreflective fanatics, have turned upon 
•«c creatures the pack of Metropolitans, de- 
led as a Pratorian guard to their Honors, 
re there is the key to the solution and se- 
t to I his suicidal mania. 
A woman, fallen from practice of virtue 



RESUSCITATION. 
Never was there a human being, trampled 

to the earth, who possessed not the power of 
self-resuscitation, if not in his own person, al 
least in that of another of his species. For 
the purposes of self-defence all manhood will 
be deemed identical. The readers of the Alii 
gator have perceived 



i and recognized the 
pi ™; sp 1 we 1 rar <: "<*, driven from a means taken for the suppression of this sheet 
entnl bearthside by the prejudices of the ! through the persecution bitter and uncalled 

e of'dailTwe , T d V' e t tnk ' Jfe *"*•*"•■ ° f ** e ' lit0, ' : lmt this «*« of men " 
ZJ 1- f «. I" the obscurity of night; ly gifted for the moment with authority and 

i ventures upon the highway to excite the power, will fail of effect, inasmuch as they 



Tempora ! Mores ! ! 

The Mayor's Squad — every regiment, e^eii 
of Police boasts, an awkward squad have 
been covering themselves with glory, and no 
trouble by a re-descent upon publishers of ob- 
scenity. They broke up a store in Ann street, 
and then went to the Volks Garten, where, in 
one obscure corner, they discovered a gallery 
of obscene prints or paintings, which, in the 
language of an excited reporter, they found to 
be "exquisitely finished/' 

Now, we are not troubled from curiosity, 
but we would like to know what became of 
these prints or pictures? Asa matter oi coarse 
the grave and potent seniors of the City Hall 
had to pass judgment upon the obscenity of 
the treasure trove— it was their duty to view 
this kind of vice in all its nakedness. It would 
be disrespectful, if not invidious, for us to in- 
sinuate, that our municipal potentates, while 
thus in the discharge of their duty, may have 
feasted their eyes in a lascivious gloat over 
these portraitures of lust, for we cannot at- 
tribute to these mighty men that animal pas- 
sion, so common to men of their age, which, 
when powers of virility are lost by debauch, 
continues to mount into the brain. 

Probably this valuable collection of the 
Fine Arts has passed into the possession of 
that most ornamental of ornaments, connected 
with the most ornamental of polices— the Rev- 
erend, the property clerk, but as he is a most 
pious man, who abominates even the name of 
Paul de Kock, he would not touch them for 
the life of him. Oh ! no. If these prints 
have been destroyed, as the law require-, we 
want evidence of the tact from others, than 
those connected with the municipal or police 
department. It were better, if thev be not 
destroyed, to have them open to the public in 
the Yolks Garten, than treasured up for the 
privite inspection of the personal friends of 
Mayors, Aldermen, and the Judiciary. 



Insanity of Joy. 



mentary lust, of some amorous stranger ; 
denly she is arrested, dragged through the 
lets, incarcerated at the station, and there 
to pine upon the desolation oi her low, 
en, condition. On the morrow she merges' 



have, Cadmus-like, sown the teeth of the 
Dragon, whence for the death of one inoffen- 
sive being, a thousand armed men spring into 
existence. In stifling the voice of a single 
-, man, thrown into their power by the inal- 
toggled finery, and ,s paraded along public administration of so called' justice, Vey have 
rZ ^i am ', t] u ff i heS ^ jeers of a <n ,ked expression of opinion from others 
rtless rabble ami ushered into the presence probably stronger and more sifted than ever he 
us Municipal Majesty. Heart broken, the was to battle' in the war of the political le- 

seless homeles, child o Fve finds herself nts. Although Mr. Brand, ,„., - est in the 

be last stage of degradation, branded worse hands of the Philistines, his spirit linger' be 
abea< and whither can she turn save to hind him, and that spirit induces " ',| „ 
fcborne beyond the grave, « h, re misery is one true soul to follow in the pathway of hi 
, ' , ' , . , martvrdom. 

nink of this, oh! great Puttyman, when 
ed in thy chair of slate, ere thy pillow be 
urbed by the wail of the suicid 



it of the fallen cyprian wings itself (,, thai 
>ne of Grace, whose justice thou wouldst 
veil to imitate 



Gi id to Hear it.— We observe that the 
as the terracotta covered walls of that unsightly 



Prow Littue Seeds Great Acorns Grow." 
is confidently believed that the terrace, on 
top of Peter Cooper's Union, wl 
ing to the worthy designer of that design- 
institution, is announced to be a botanical 



abortion of architecture, called "The Peter 
Institute," are commencing to crumble 
away. In twenty-five years, it is presumed, 
that entire edifice will disappear, and New 
York be rid of the most contemptible-looking 
public building which ever emanated from 
al frenzy. 



11 Bdentiallj asserted by the 

wor hv PeJr n 3.K " lt0 ? Sp0t Where ' n i ""," N of • tha Great ''"^man. thai he intends 

■ w M «.t * '' ""° raQ K ' r l t0 decline any denomination. Sensible, Put- 

wuu^ais. ^^ |tyman;bnt- '1 not have a chance. 



We are all in a state of joy. not such as ft 
man experiences when honored by any super- 
excellent dispensation of fortune", but a real, 
good, mathematical joy, so much the square 
inch, measured out to us by the great dignita- 
ries at the City Hall. The fact is that we are 
joy I'ul by proclamation, and any man who re- 
fuses to be happy, most assuredly ought to be 
committed for contempt of authority. 

Notwithstanding our extreme happiness— 
for like every other good and loyal citizen, 
h ith the fear of the devil and Mayor Tiemann 
before our eyrs, we arc wrought up to the very 
highest pitch of rejoicing. So high indeed, 
that we think that we can take down the 
Mayor and Common Council on a good sized 
hallelujah. We sometimes think, however, we 
are making fools of ourselves. It may be an 
idea of ours, and therefore we trust it mav not 
be contagions. 

j The Atlantic Telegraph, like everything else 
| with which Mr. Peter Cooper has bad the 
misfortune to be connected, has proven itself 
to be a remarkably slowcoach. In, led, 1',,, ■ ■ 
laud his fellow laborers have reduced lightning 
to its lowest possible speed, and, for all prac- 
tical uses ,,f mercantile life, the telegraph may 
as well he in ihe other world as at the bottom 
of the Atlantic. For instance, the Que 
message, which is about the length of an ordi- 
nary dunning letter, was commenced one after- 
noon, cut up and quartered the next, and final 
ly we managed to get the whole of it hv ih, 
day alter. As ( the President's answer, from 
■ill we ,-an gather, it has no! been, as \ef 
transmitted. 

The only il, i„g kit the lightning, for the 
sake ot us ,,„ ,, reputation, is to gel angry and 
knock dow.-^Peter Cooper, and after that' little 
fOiind, t- !=>» all connection with II 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



superannuated fogy, who, we ai-e certain, 
even on the day of judgment, will be found 
hobbling into court some three hours after 
time. 



Nothing Like it.— In suing Bennett, George 
Wilkes set up his character as worth £20,000. 
There is nothing like having a good opinion oi 
one's self, and allowing for discount. Some 
man may throw off 100 per cent. 

Who <ould have doubted it ? — The 
Queen's Message came to us in two parts, and 
Peter Cooper telegraphed to Buchanan, ex- 
plaining the mutilation. Did any thing ever 
get into Peter's hands and come out whole? 



FALL ELECTION. 



State of New- York, 
office of the seobetary of state, 

Albany. August 2, 1858. 



TO the .Sheriff o f the Count}/ of New York 

SIR^NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, T 
nei 



Nick Idea.— In the programme of the telegraph 
celebration at the Crystal Palace, it is stated 
that the Common Council are to ' l praise God' 1 
And so they ought —for not being hung years 
ago. 

An Appropriate Locality. — The Mayor 
and his Squad went on a " bust " last week to 
JSheepshead Buy. Smith thinks that they 
should have discovered Muttonhead Bay, but 
we think Sheepshead the most appropriate for 
that crowd. 

Which is He? — The Democrats, expelled 
from the Custom House, consider Mr. Collector 
Schell a hard shell democrat, while the non- 
administration holders of office regard him as 
one of the soft kind. 

The expenes of the city government for the 
present year, is estimated, by those profess- 
ing to be posted in this matter, at over fifteen 
millions of dollars — an increase of $5,000,000 
the first year of Mayor Tiemann's administra- 
tion. 

Lost. — Somewhere between sunrise and sun- 
set, two golden hours, each set with sixty dia- 
mond minutes. No reward is offered, for they 
are lost lorever.— jV. )\ Ledger. 

Advertisements— -25 Cents a line. 

Credit. — From two to four seconds, or as long as the Advertiser 
can hold his breath ! Letter* and Advertisement lo be left at No. 
114 Nassau-street, second story, front room. 



... THAT AT THE GE- 

ral Election to be held in this State on the Tuesday succeed- 

e first Monday in November next, the following officers arc 

elected, to wit : 

A Govexnob, in the place of John A, King ; 



u^ the u»ol j 
o be elected 



COREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S EXCHANGE, WALL 
street, New York, Notaries Public and Commissioners— United 
Mutes Passports Leaned in 36 hours.— Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and 
Notes protested,— Marine protests noted and extended. 

EDWIN F. COKEY, 
EDWIN F. COREY, Jb. 

HERRING'S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR- 
glar Proof Safe, with Hall's Patent Powder Proof Locks, 
afford the greatest security of any Safe hi the world. Also, Side- 
board and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship and finish, tkir 
plate, .fee. S. C. HERRING & CO., 

251 Broadway. 



OANTE MENTO.-No. 29 ATTORNEY STREET, NEAR 
£3 Grand, has a superioV assortment of Cloths, Onsslnieres. and 
Nestings, made to order in the most fashionable and approved Pa- 
dsian stales, aud at short notice. Let gentlemen call iimipat<ronl^e 
me, and I will do my utmost to pleaseiny customers. 



I" VANTLNE.JSHANGAE RESTAURANT, No. 2 DEY 



street, New York. 



Si J \\ . BARKER, GENERAL AUCTION EERS& REAL 
» ESTATE BROKERS. Loans negotiated. Houses and 
Stores Rented Mocks and Bunds Sold at Auction or Private Sale. 

Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses. 
CWce, 14 Plnentreet, under Commonwealth Bank. 



CARLTON HOUSE, 41)6 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. 
Bates and Holden, Proprietors. 



THEOPHILUS BATES. 
OREL J. HOLDEN. 



GERARD BETTS it CO., AUCTION AND COMMISSION 
Merchants, No. lOti, Wall street, eoniei of Front street, New 
York. „ 



A LiEUxr-NANr Covkrxor, In the place of nenry R. Selden • 
A Canal Cohmissiont.h, in the place Of Samuel B. Ruegles ap- 
pointed in place of Samuel S. Whallon, deceased ; 

An Ixspectoh of State Pjuson.?, in the place of William A 
Russell ; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of Decem- 
ber next. 

A Repuesejttativf: in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Third Congressional District, cinnposed of the 
Fust, Second, Third, Fifth and Eighth Wards in the city of New 
\ oik. 

A Rkpheskntative In the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
Slates, for the Fourth Congressional District, composed of the 
Fourth, Sixth, Tenth and Fourteenth Wards in the city of New 
York ; 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Fifth Congressional District, composed of the Sev- 
enth and Thirteenth Wards of the city ol New York, and the 
Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth and Sixteenth Wards of Brook- 
lyn ; 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
Stales, for the Sixth Congressional District, composed of the 
Eleventh, Fifteenth and Seventeenth Wards in the City of New 
Y'ork- 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Seventh Congressional District, composed of the 
Ninth, Sixteenth, and Twentieth Wards In the City of New 
York ; 

And also, a Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the 
United States for the Eighth Congressional District, composed of 
the Twelfth, Eighteenth, Nineteenth, Twenty-first, and Twenty- 
second "Wards in the City of New York. 

COUNTY OFFICERS ALSO TO BE ELECTED FOR SAID 
COUNTY. 
Seventeen Members of Assembly ; 
A Sheriff, in the place of James C. Willett ; 
A County Clerk, in the place of Richard B. Connolly • 
Foun Coroners, in the place of Frederick W. Perry, Edward 
Connery, Robert Gamble and Samuel C. Hills ; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of December 
next. 

The attention of Inspectors of Election and County Canvassers 
Is directed to Chapter 320 of Laws of 1358, a copy of which is 
printed, for instructions in regard to their duties under said law. 
''submitting the question of calling a Convention to revise the 
Constitution and amend the same to the people of the State." 

Chap. S20. 
AN ACT to submit the question of calling a Convention to revise 
the Constitution and amend the same, to the People of the 
State : 
Passed April 17. 1S58— three-fifths being present. 
The Feoplc of the State of Neiv Yorfc t represented in Senate 
aiid Assembly, do enact as follows: 
Section 1. The Inspectors of 'Election in each town, ward, and 
election district in tliis State, at the annual election to be held in 
November next, shall provide a proper box to receive the ballots 
of the citizens of this State entitled to vote for members of the 
Legislature at such election. On such ballot shall be written or 
pnoi 1, or »artly written and printed, by those voters who are in 
Eavoi ofa * DJwention, the worda : " Shall there be a Conv. ation 
to Revise t ' x Constitution and amend the same? i'es." And by 
those voters who are opposed thereto, the words: "Shall there be 
a Convention to Revise the Constitution and amend the same? 
No." And all citizens entitled to vote as aforesaid shall be allow- 
ed to vote by ballot as aforesaid, in the election district in which 
ho resides, and not elsewhere. 

§2. So much of the articles one, two and three, of title four, of 
chapter one hundred and thirty, of an act entitled "An act re- 
specting elections other than for militia and town officer, " passed 
April firth, eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending 
the same, as regulates the manner of conducting elections and 
challenges, oaths to be administered, and inquiries to be made, of 
persons offering to vote, shall be deemed applicable to the votes to 
be given or offered under the act ; and the manner of voting and 
challenges, and the penalties for talse swearing, prescribed by law, 
are hereby declared in full force and effect in voting or ottering to 
vote under this act. 

§ '2. The said votes given for and against a convention, in pursu 
ance of this act, shall be canvassed bv the Inspectors of the several 
election districts or polls of the said election in the manner pre- 
scribed by law, and aa provided in article four, of title four, of 
chapter one hundred and thirty of the said act, passed April fifth, 
eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending the same, 
as far as the same are applicable ; and such canvass shall be com- 
pleted by ascertaining the whole number of votes given in each 
election district or poll for a convention, and the whole number of 
votes given against such convention, in the form aforesaid ; and 
the result being found, the inspectors shall make a statement in 
words, at lull length, of the number of, ballots received In relation 
to such convention, and shall also state in words, at full length, 
the whole number of ballots having thereuu the words, "Shall 
there be a Convention to revise the Constitution and amend the 
same? No." Such statements as aforesaid shall contain a cap- 
tion, stating the day on which, and the number of the district, the 
town or ward, and the county at which the election was held, and 
at the end thereof a certificate that such statement Is correct in all 
respects, which certificate shall be subscribed bv all the Inspectors, 
and a true copy of such statement shall be Immediately riled by 
them In the office of the clerk of the town or city. 

$ 4. The original statements, duly certified as aforesaid, shall be 
delivered by the inspectors, or one of them to be deputed for that 
iurnose, to the supervisor, or, in ease there be no supervisor, oi 
ie snail be disabled fn mi attending the board of convasaera, then 
to one of the assessors of the town or ward, within twenty-four 
hours after the same ahaH have been subscribed by such inspec- 
tors, to be disposed of as other statements at such election, are 
now required bv law. 

55. So much of articles first, second, third, and fourth, of title 
fifth, of chapter one hundred and thirty, of the act entitled, "An 
act respecting elections other than for militia and town officers,'" 
and the acts amending the Batne,as regulates the duties of Coun- 
ty Canvassers and their proceedings, and the duty of County 
Clerks, and the Secretary ot State, and the Board of Slate Can- 
vassers, shall be applied to the canvassing and ascertaining the 
will of the people of this State in relation to the proposed con- 
ention; and if it shall appear that a majority of the votes or 



The above Is published pursuant to the notice ot the Secretary 
of State, and the requirements of the Statute in such case made 
and provided. 

JAMES C. WILLET L 
^^ Sheriff of the City and County of New York, 

t&~ -All the public newspapers in the county will publish the 
above once In each week until the election, and then hand hi thelr 
hills for advertising the same, so that they may be laid before the 
Board of Supervisors, and passed for payment. See Revised 
Stat, vol, 1, chap. G, title 8, article 2d, part 1st, page 140 



I^RANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL 
: CLOTHING & FURNISHING WAREHOUSE, No. 70 
and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester streets. New York 
Large and elegant assortments of Youths' and Boys' Clothing 

F. B. BALDWIN,' 

F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense jfctab- 
Uahment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY' An entlreNew 
Stock of GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S and CHILDREN'S 
CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best workmen in the 
city, is now opened for inspection. Also, a superior stock of FUR- 
NISHING GOODS. All articles are of the best Quality, and hav- 
ing been purchased during the crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERY 
LOW! The Custom Department contains the greatest variety of 
CLOTHS, CASSIMERE's, and VESTINGS. 

Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BARNUM, 
who has had great experience in the business, having been thirty 
years connected with the leading Clothing Establibhnjwnts of the 
city. 



JAMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD-TWENTY-SIXTH 
street and Second Avenue. I always have all kinds of coal 
on hand, and of the very best quality, which I will sell as low as 
any other coal dealer hi the United States. 

JAMES DO NNELLY. 1 

WILLIAM COULTER CARPENTER.-I HAVE LONG 
been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who will 
favor me with their patronage, that 1 will build as good houses or 
lse in my line, as any other carpenter in the city of New 



charges for my work as 



anything 

York. I will also be as reasonable ; 
any other person. 

WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter, 
Rear of 216 East Twentieth street. New York. 



WW. OSBORN MERCHANT TAILOR, V CHAMBER 
• street, near Chatham street, New York. 



SOLOMON BANTA.ARCHITECT.NO. 93 AMOS STREET, 
New York. I have built as many houses and stores aa any 
Architect, in this city, or the United States, and I can produce vou- 
chers to that, effect; and I flatter myself that I can build edifices 
that will compare favorably, in point of beauty and durability, with 
those of any Architect in this country. I am prepared to receive 
orders in my line of business at No. 98 Amos street. New York 
__^„ SOLOMON BANTA. 



ROBERT ONDERDONK. — THIRTEENTH WARD 
Hotel, 405 and 407 Grand 6treet, corner of Clinton street, 



New York. 



WILLIAM M. TWEED. CHAIR & OFFICE FURNI- 
ture Dealer and Manufacturer, No. 289 Broadway corner 
of Read street, New York, Room No. 15. 



FASHION HOUSE— JOSEPH HYDE PROPRIETOR 
corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, and Cigars' 
ot the beat brands. He Invites his friends to give him a call 
Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons. 



WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSLL- 
loratLaw, No. 176 Chatham street, New York. Any busi- 
ness entrusted to Jits charge from citizens of this city or any part 
of the country, will receive prompt and faithful attention and be 
conducted on reasonable terms 

WILLIAM A. CONKLIN. 



GEO. KNAPP & CO., WHOLESALE AND RETAIL 
_ Dealers in Butter, Cheese, E*gS,Foultry and country produce, 
— Clinton Market, opposite Page's Hotel, New York 

GEO. KNAPP. 
H.D.ALBERS. 



H JONES & HOFF, whose placa of business Is in front of une 
■■• ^wi 01 " M ul i st '' keep^aU the latest publications of the day, In- 



cluding all the Daily and Weekly Newspapers 
age is most respectfully solicited. 



The public patron.* 



EDMUND FOWLER, CARPENTER AND BUILDER 
No. 74Reade street, near Broadway, New York. 
N. B.— All kinds ot Jobbing done at short notice. 



BOWERY NEWS DEPOT, NO. 177 BOWERY.-OON- 
stantlyon hand, Daily, Sunday, and Weekly Papers, Monthly 
Magazines, Play Books, Stationary, Ac, &c. English Papers per 
Steamers. All orders punctually attended to. 

BENNET A- CARROLL. 



AMERICAN GLASS COMPANY MANUFACTURE AND 
keep constantly on hand at their Warehouse, Plain, Moulded 

and Cut Flint Glass Waif, in all Its varieties. Also Druggists* and 
Perfumers' Ware of all Kinds. Wholesale Warehouses, No 163 
Peai I street, New York, and No. 54 Kilby street, Boston. (Facto- 
ries at South Boston.) D. Burrill & Co., Agents, New Y'ork. 

TNO. WARD, JR., REAL ESTATE AGENT, OFFICES 
«J No. STryon Row, corner Chatham street, (opposite the Park,) 
New Y'ork, aud 4th Avenue, near 126th street, Harlem. 

PC. GODFREY' STATIONED, BOOKSELLER, AND 
• General Newsdealer, No. S31 Broadway, New Y'ork, near 
laih street. 



^AMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP .V STEAMBOAT BUILDER — 
© My Office Is at No. 31 Corlears street, New York; and my yards ,_ 

and residence are at Greenpolnt. I have built Ships and Steamers • ballots given in and returned as afori said are against a conven- 
er every portion of the Globe, for a long term of years, and con- tion, then the said canvassers are required to certify and declare 
tinuetodo so on reasonable terms. SAMUEL SNEDEN. that fact bv a certificate, subset! bed by them, and filed with the 

Secretary of State ; but If it shall appear by the said canvass that 
a majority of the ballots or votes given as aforesaid are for a con- 
vention, then they shall by like certificates, to be filed as afore- 
said, declare that fact ; and the said Secretary shall communicate 
__ a copy of such certificate to both branches of the Legislature, 

>OOT & SHuE EMPORIUM.— EDWIN A BROOKS, 1M- i at the opening of the next eesslon thereof. Yours, respectfully, 
> porter and Manufacturer of Boots, Shoes and Gaiters, 6IDE0N J. TUCKER, Secretary' of State, 

holesale and Retail, Nu. 57o Broadway, and 160 Fulton Street, .Sheriffs OmOE , 

New Sfork, tf xv Yo ttK , August 4, 1853. } 



FULLMER AND WOOD, CARRIAGE MANUFACTUR- 
ere, No, 980 West Nineteenth street, New Y'ork. 
Horse shoeiug done with dispatcii, and In the most scientific 
manner, and on reauouable terms. 



AUGUST BRENTANO. CORNER OF HOUSTON STREET 
and Broadway, has all the latest Publications, and receives 
all the Foreign Papers by every steamer. He also hasthe back 
numbers of almost every paper published, including Branch's 
"Alligator." 



CtLINTON LUNCH, OYSTER AND DINING SALOON, 
/ No. iy Beekman street. The best of Liquors aud Cigars. 
GEO. W. WARNER. 
SAMUEL M. MILLER. 



lyYVlD WILLIAMS, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR 



at Law, No. 16 Centre street, New York. 



JW. MASON; MANUFACTURER, •WHOLESALE AND 
• Retail dealers In all kinds of Chairs, Wash Stands, Settees, 
&c, No. #77 and 379 Pearl street, New York. 
Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, In Boxes, for Shipping. 



BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, LN REAL 
Estate, Houses and Stores and Lota for sale In all parts 
of the City. Office at the Junction ol Broadway, Seventh 
ayeaue, and Forty-sixth street, 




Volume I.---N0. 20 



SATURDAY, SEPTEHBER 4, 1858. 



Price 2 Cents. 



And they Stoned Stephen. 

We are told by the Holy Scriptures that oue 
of the Apostles, who, preaching integrity and 
truth to the Pharisees of old, offended those 
who belonged to the Tabernacle of libertines? 
was brought before the council, which, by arou- 
ing public sentiment in a seditious manneri 
caused Stephen to be stoned. And in our 
modern day they have likewise stoned Stephen 
by placing him, unaccustomed to toil, and 
guiltless of all crime, save the free exercise of 
opinion, to labor in a quarry along with felons, 
thieves, and other obnoxious convicts ; and in 
this wise have our modern Pharisees stoned 
Stephen. 

The Warden of the Penitentiary, sufforing 
from din of public opinion, has seen proper to 
extenuate his conduct by stating that he was 
compelled, by ridgity of duty, thus to place 
Mr. Branch in a position of labor. Thus has 
he communicated his thoughts for publication 
to the editor of the Sunday Mercury, and 
when he uttered them he was well aware that 
they were a mere subterfuge to avoid personal 
indignity. And now we challenge the Warden 
to show one single word in his instructions 
rendering it compulsory upon him to employ 
any one soul in the quarrying of stone. On 
the contrary, his instructions particularly en- 
join upon him the exercise of moderation and 
forborance as a taskmaster, and most explicitly 
direct that no prisoner, incapable of physical 
labor, shall be employed at manual servitude. 
The law of the State, despite the tendencies of 
Mr. Pitch, recognizes every being, created in 
human form, to be possessed of a soul, as well 
as being of value to the commonwealth; for a 
man incarcerated in the penitentiary, is not 
devoid of civil lite as is the case with a con- 
vict to the State prison, and wherefore -then 
did he stone Stephen ? 

Mr. Fitch, the Warden, may remember that 
a woman, convicted of the most brutal of 
crimes, which the law unfortunately has left 
unvisited by proper punishment, that of the 
murder of the innocents, as yet unborn, was, 
during her residence at the Island, favored not 
only with the comforts, but the luxuries of 
an easy existence. And still they stoned Ste- 
phen. 



The Warden, in addition to this instance of 
the famous Madame Rested, may remember 
that a French gentleman, convicted of a most 
gross and obscene libel upon the Rev. Mr. 
Verien, was not only suffered to remain in 
idleness, and without the prison clothes, but 
was absolutely lodged in the Warden's house, 
remunerating him for his comfortable exist- 
ence by instructing his daughters in a knowl- 
edge of the French tongue. And stiU they 
stoned Stephen 1 

The Warden may remember, moreover, that 
Mr. Judson, convicted of a misdemeanor in 
exciting the Astor Place riot, was allowed 
two days of weekly absence to attend the pub- 
lication of a journal by him published — a fact 
notorious to every reader of Ned Buntline\i 
Own. And still they stoned Stephen ! 

We are sorry that the Warden so far com- 
mitted himself as intentionally to persecute a 
harmless, unotfensive man, whose true crime 
is a steady adherence to truth. Allow us to 
assure him that while we admire his penitence 
for the moment, we cannot forgive the fact 
that he stoned Stephen ! 



Ii the Atlantic Telegraph Actually Com 
plete ? 

It is still doubted by many whether the At- 
lantic cable is actually laid and perfect, as is 
reported. There is, we believe, no actual proof 
of the fact, beyond that in the hands of those 
who have a pecuniary interest in its being com 
pleted. It is said that the Queen's message 
and the President's reply have been transmit- 
ted. Have they ? Who knows? 

Mr. Field has notified the public that the line 
will not be opened for its use in much less than 
a month — that he also has resigned the direc- 
torship. Has he sold his stock, and thus dis 
qualified himself from holding office ? And 
will most of the stock have changed hands 
within the month? And will something have 
happened to the cable in the meantime to ren- 
der it useless? Will the directors prove the 
fact of the cable being securely laid and in 
working order, by transmitting a message and 
returning an answer, if it is but a single sen- 
tence? If they are able to transmit one word 
they can do this. It would certainly be too 
bad if it should prove to be a Kidd salvage af- 
fair. Then all the gas which has been evolved, 
and all the powder burnt in the extreme jolli- 
fication, would be a total loss ; together with 
part of the City Hall, and Justice into the bar- 
gain. We certainly would advise those who 
have been lately canonized to show these sur- 
mises to be false before their honors grow dim. 



A Commotion in the Jarsies. 

The Alligator, feeling himself some pump- 
kins, on Sunday last, ventured upon an excur- 
sion to the Jarsies, as much from a desire to 
have universal absolution by a pilgrimage to 
the shrine of St. Quietus, as from a longing to 
fraternize with the gallant Zouave, so particu- 
larly enamored with the " blunt. ' Basking in 
the smiles, literal and liquid, of the Hotel Na- 
poleon, and, sunned by the presence of the fair 
hostess, the Alligator was enwrapt in a pleas- 
ant revery, much after the owl-like manner, in 
which the sedate and philosophical Peter Coo- 
per presides over a reform convention. But 
Ins repose was broken by learning the astound- 
ing fact that the Jersies, and especially Hobo- 
ken, was in a state of political insurrection, 
and that for the moment the authority of Jamea 
Buchanan, President of these United States, was 
despised, contemned and absolutely denuunced, 
— -and even one rebel, unconscious of the Alli- 
gator's presence, absolutely expressed a fervent 
desire to punch that dignitary's venerable 
head. It seems from all that we can glean, 
that the Executive of this Republic, feeling the 
salvation of the country to depend upon the 
electors of Hoboken and the parts circumja- 
cent, directed the renomiuation of the repre- 
sentative in Congress, at present representing 
that district. This, it seems, was too much for 
Jersey patience, exhausted as it is from passive 
submission to the tyranny of Camden and Am- 
boy ; and, therefore, Hoboken has raised the 
staudard of revolt in the person of a learned 
judge, who Is to mount the stump to vindicate 
the honor of Jersey, and perhaps of its light- 
ning. How the unterrified democracy will 
survive this disaffection, we are at a loss to 
imagine — for the loss of Hoboken, which fami- 
liarly styles itself our sister city, and a very 
infant of a sister at that, must be a bitter pdl 
to an Administration in a tight place. One 
hope only is left. Cannot the President induce 
John McKeon to reduce the rebellious people 
to a perpetual slumber by one of his soporific 
orations; and even should this fail, perchance 
Mr. Justice Whitley might be induced to talk 
to them for half an hour. We are convinced 
that the people of Jersey would do anything 
rather than submit to this final calamity. 



To Our Readers. 

During the past few weeks, it has been cur- 
rently reported in some quarters, that D. W. 
Jobson, Esq., is now conducting the Alligator. 

That it not so. Mr. Jobson never had — has 
not now, and, for aught we know at present, 
never will have anything to do with the Alli- 
gator. 



•J 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



Answers to Correspondents. 

"Vas."— Tout communication will appear in mir ne*t Issue, it 
being received too late to be r.f use for the im.uieiit. 

THE ALLIGrATOR. 

New York, Saturday, September 4, 1858. 



upon the Bench. While the truly learned Jus- 
tice Clerke, a lawyer such as the way of Chris- 
tian life would make him, is simply occupied 
in matters of dollars and cents, our lives, our 
persons, our future, immaculate, are intrusted 
to the supervision of such learned pundits, as 



More Advice to Mr. Barnard. 

When Mr. Recorder Barnard sat in Solo- 
monic judgmetet on Stephen II. Branch, lie evi- 
dently forgot for the moment the dignity of a 
judge, and assumed the questionable attributes 
of a politician. That Mr. Recorder Barnard is 
nominally a lawyer we will admit, for he comes 
under all provisions of the New Code, which 
creates lawyers with the celerity of machinery; 
but that he understands the law, we emphati- 
cally deny. Before Mr. Barnard mounted the 
Bench, was his name ever known to the com- 
munity as a successful barrister ? Was he ever 
intrusted with any important civil or criminal 
case? Did he ever make a speech the most 
common-place reporter thought worthy of be- 
ing reproduced in type? Not one of those 
tests of popularity, which appertain to the 
career of the most common of attorneys, seem 
to apply to the case of our learned Recorder, 
upon whose brow honor and glory have stum- 
bled as it were by accident. 

Mr. Barnard, in sentencing Mr. Branch, evi- 
dently desired to impress the public mind with 
an idea of his individual authority; forgetting 
that be was armed with the sword of mercy, 
he wielded only that of justice, and with avin- 
dictiveness, as reckless as it was violent, loan- 
ed himself to the wishes of partizan leaders, 
who daily stand in dread of exposure from an 
unbridled press. As vermin cannot dwell in 
certain atmospheres, these men stifle coming in 
contact with the air ot a free press ; and it is 
to them we owe the bitter persecution of free 
opinion, as is glowingly instanced in the judg- 
ment passed upon Branch. A self-same pun- 
ishment would have been meted out to any 
offending editor, who may touch the dignity 
of the confederated band, who thus attempt to 
throttle speech, whose freedom should be in- 
digenous to the soil. 

How long lias Mr. Barnard learned that a 
convicted editor is a mere felon? That he 
should be maltreated, disgraced, and placed 
even below the level of thieves and malefac- 
tors? The case of Mr. Branch is probably the 
first on record, wherein a man condemned for 
libel was compelled to submit to prison discip- 
line, intended only for a minor class of felons. 
But as this case has occurred, it has afforded 
to our people a fair opportunity of judging 
upon the irresponsibility, we will not say im- 
becility, of an elective judiciary. Catch the 
most insignificant errand-boy in the nearest 
lawyer's den, and he will give you a better 
legal, if not more humane, exposition of the 
true genius of the laws than was publicly enun- 
ciated by Mr. Recorder Barnard, who indi- 
rectly repudiated pure maxims of jurispru- 
dence, and substituted vagaries of vengeance. 
Let us, therefore, profit by this casual display 
of sentiment; for say we to all quarters of the 
city, with a voice as of that of a watchman in 
the hour of alarm, that none, not even the 
pure and guileless, are sate while fantasies such 
as these are suffered to be fulminated from a 
criminal bench. And likewise mind, we draw 
a grave distinction between our civil and 
criminal judiciary. Unfortunately^ the high- 
est and most respected of our judges are 
occupied solely with the rights of property, 
and we have committed the rights of the per- 
son to the most obscure of obscure attorneys, 
accidentally thrust from pure partizan influence 



Mr. Recorder Barnard and City Judge Bus 
sell. 

Liberty of speech is a right, paramount to 
that of every other consideration; it has been 
ti easured as the key-stone to the. great, unwrit- 
ten Constitution of Britain and of our own 
land ; it is the vital essence of our political 
existence, and its abuse has been judicially 
tolerated that the spirit shall be perpetuated. 
But as Mr. Recorder Barnard has not probably 
indulged in the intellectual luxury of perusing 
Hallam's Constitutional History — such a work 
being unknown to the New Code — we will ex- 
cuse him from any implied admiration of that 
respect, yea, adoration, for personal rights, 
which animated the manly soul of Algernon 
Sidney and fired the patriotism of John Hamp- 
den. 

We simply wish to inform Mr. Recorder 
Barnard that he labors under a delusion when 
he presumes libel to be a misdemeanor in the 
literal sense of the word, and although the 
law may be virtually misconstrued in such a 
wise as to authorize interpretation that it may 
verge upon misdemeanor, still the practice of 
Courts, presided over by Kent, by Eldon, and 
by Camden, has essentially abrogated any 
such pretence in fact. In meeting out to Mr. 
Branch the doom of a common thief, in dis- 
gracing and degrading him before the eyes of 
a community, he attempted in a feeble way, 
it may be observed, to instruct and enlighten. 
Mr. Barnard and his statelites not only erred 
in tempor, but in absolute legality. They have 
reaped a harvest of glory in the unmurmured 
cases of a sympathetic public who will profit 
by the lesson we have received, and hence 
forward seek not such servants as these. 



The Law's Delay. 

It was confidently expected that a revision 
of the judgment upon Mr. Branch would have 
been had in the early part of this week. We, 
however, learn from Mr. Ashmead, that the 
Court being pre-occupied by civil business, 
have postponed consideration of his motion 
until the month of Septeinber,wben the learn 
ed counsellor feels assured that the relief he 
prays for will be granted, and a new trial be 
had. 

In this sacrifice of personal rights to the 
emolument of that of property, we notice the 
inconsistency of the law which thus creates an 
invidious distinction between things animate 
and inanimate. Here, then, we have a person 
kept in jail, in a state of vexatious misery, 
while the Court is occupied by the considera- 
tion of some quarrel of Smith and Jones over a 
bale of cotton, or some other trivially in a 
commercial point of view. Now, the most 
valuable of all rights is that of locomotion, and 
the dearest of all writs is that ot habeas corpus, 
instituted expressly for the relief of the indivi- 
dual from unjust detention. And still all the 
provisions of this famous act are neutralized 
the instant the prisoner gets into the clutches 
of the judiciary, whose slow motions are too 
often a cause of unintentional wrong-doing. 

In the case of the People vs. Haines, the pri 
soner served his time out in the State Prison, 
and was afterward granted a new trial and 
found not guilty. Ashley, tried for forgery, 
served eighteen months, when upon a new trial J 
he was found guilt less of the crime charged upon I 
him. Much as we talk about the freedom of our 
institutions, the rights of prisoners are too lit- 
tle respected by the tardy process of legal 
procedure. We trust that when the new 
constitution be framed that preference will be 
given to all cases involving personal liberty. 



The First of September— let us remember. 

It was observed by an English writer the 
heart of an alderman lays in his belly. It may 
be true of an English alderman,. but with ours 
the centre of. all affections rests in the pocket 
— ton. h him there, and you draw his life's 
blood. Dining is the mere relaxation with our 
aldermanic council, by which they occasion- 
ally while away the fatigues of mathematical 
claculations on the gross profits of contracts. 
They eat not as a matter of duty, but from 
absolute necessity. We are to have a munici- 
pal banquet on the first of September, to tes- 
tify our joy at the successful laying of the At- 
lantic Cable; and the same gentlemen, who 
did the mourning over James Muuroe, have 
kindly condescended to do our merriment over 
the cable. Our Aldermen have acute sensa- 
tions ; at one moment they are plunged in the 
depths of woe, at another they are frantic 
with delight. In a word, they do everything, 
even praise God, not in church, but at the 
Crystal Palace. 

We being of the poorer class feeders on pork 
and beans, are not expected to have stomachs, 
capable of being with fat capron lined, so we, 
tax payers will have to imagine the splendor 
of the scene, seen through the gloomy columns 
of a morning newspaper. And therefore let 
us riot in imagination and taste the pleasures 
of the honor in anticipation. 

We see before us, seated in his chair of 
state, the great Puttyman, and we worship his 
Worship like unto the mighty Bendimeer, for 
him to speak, for us to hear. And as the 
words of humid eloquence are distilled from 
his lips, we will wonder how we could unfold 
so sound, unvarnished a tale, and admit that 
painting spoils the lilly and the rose, until 
weighed down by the profundity of magiste- 
rial love, we unconsciously droop to balmy 
slumber. And then we shall have Alderman 
Clancy, whose soft persuasive tones shall wake 
thunders of applause, as he extols the fighting 
glories of the Sixth, and promises that if the 
cable has necessity of gallant defenders, he 
knows a band ready to fight for it. 

And then there will be the grave and illus- 
trious Peter, who will act the part of the skel- 
eton at the Egyptian feast, with an occasional 
smde as a token of our approaching smile. 
He will make but few remarks ; the most tell- 
ing of which will be a short sentence, offering 
the use of the basement cellar ,of the Institute 
wherein to coil away the tail end of the cable. 

And then we will have Simeon Draper, the 
facetiousjn'ince of diners-out, whose portly pre- 
sence was never known to fail a municipal 
feast. He will illuminate us with jokes, such 
as were wont to enliven the monotony of an 
Alms House board. And then we will mourn 
to think that some day must come when the 
Corporation Yorick will be no more. 

It will be a great feast! — a revelry of wit, 
humor, and sentiment; a gathering together 
of all imaginable elements of greatness, from 
every quarter of the city, and it is only to be 
regretted that the Lord Mayor of London and 
him oi Dublin cannot be sent, per the cable, 
to participate in the scene ot self-glorification, 
it would afford them such an instructive lesson 
in the principles of municipal democracy. But 
as they are requested to dine simultaneously 
with our body corporate, so shall the Alliga- 
tor, in an humble manner, it must be conceded, 
for we dine at our own expense — a considera- 
tion not entering into the heads of our author- 
ities. At the exact moment when Simeon 
Draper Cracks his sixth joke, the Alligator 
will honor Waterman with a command for 
" ein lager!" 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



Long Branch and Short Branch, 

While Branch rusticates upon the Island, 
Long Branch has had the honor of a most dis- 
tinguished assembly, lay, clerical and divine. 
While Alderman Clancy, pink of municipal 
Nestors, has consented to bloom away from 
Blossom Lodge, and here to perform the du- 
ties of the Mayoralty, his llonor, the great 
Putty man. comfortably dozes to the music of 
Jersey mosquitoes, his repose only broken by 
the unwelcome intrusion of John Mclveon— 
the leanestof Pharoah's leankine. His Honor 
and the inevitable John, although doubtlessly 
the master spirits of the mysterious conference 
held at the Branch, and which will probably 
be elucidated after the next election, however 
played second fiddle to Archbishop Hughes, a 
venerable prelate, who, well aware of the qual- 
ities of putty, can mould it at his will. What 
Peter Cooper does at the conference beqond 
yarning, it is difficult to imagine, his peculiar- 
ities being generally limited to that operation 
of the muscles. If these worthy gentlemen 
can conceive that they can use the Archbishop 
for their political purposes, they are slightly 
mistaken, for that enthusiastic prelate is too 
old a bird to be caught by any kind oi chaff, 
and we doubt whether Putty man & Co. can 
manufacture salt enough from the Atlantic 
ocean to be placed on his venerable tail. We 
may remind this scheming crew, that, some 
years ago( Governor Seward and his private 
governor, Thurlow Weed, attempted a sale of 
the worthy Archbishop, who, in return for the 
compliment, bought himself in and sold out 
his would-be purchasers at a remarkably low 
figure. With this|decided case before thier eyes, 
we beg to caution poor Putty man aud Peter 
to keep their eyes skinned, otherwise they 
may be found embalmed within the new Ca- 
thedral. 



All for a Quarter. 



We read in tire daily prints that a gentle- 
man by the name of Hoey, while returning 
from Koekaway, in compauy with a gentle- 
man and lady, in passing a turnpike gate, gave 
the girl, attending the bar, a coin which he 
persumed to be a good American quarter dol- 
lar, but which the girl pronounced to be bad. 
The turnpike man, who chances to be a justice 
of the peace, immediately caused the arrest of 
all parties, who were forced to send to Rock- 
away for bail. Even after the arrival of the 
bail the party were detained several hours 
from lack of the necessary printed blanks, 
while Mr. Justice and turnpike man Pearsall, 
copied the process from a musty law tome. It 
is needless to add that upon the appearance of 
Mr. Hoey and counsel from New York, all 
proceedings were dismissed as frivolous. 

Gross as this outrage may appear at the first 
blush, and intense as was the stupidity of the 
Long Island Dogberry, it can be daily paral- 
leled by the actions of our own law courts, 
especially when we extract our police magis- 
trates from barrooms and grogeries. Now one 
question : Have we one single police magis- 
trate in this city who ever swept out a lawyers 
office, much less ever studied the profession ? 
They are doubtlessly intelligent and well- 
meaning men, but then they are not lawyers, 
and consequently unfit to be entrusted with 
the custody of our personal independence. No 
right can be dearer than that of free locomo- 
tion, and therefore we should be more particular 
in the selection of these judges, than those con- 
trolling the right of property. Imprisonment, 
like the dew of heaven, falls alike upon the 
rich and the poor, and no citizen should lie 
jeopardized as to personal liberty and repre- 
sentation without the strongest possible pre- 
caution. 



News from a Watering Place. 

Peter Cooper, the learned, astute, and never 
to be forgotten Peter, finds it to be invaluable 
to his health, to snuff the sea breeze in the 
classic freshness of Long Brauch. Archbishop 
John, fatigued with the cares of Cathedral 
dedication, found it likewise to his advantage 
to smell the air in the same locality, and for 
fear of want of amusement he brought with 
him the Vicar General of his diocese, and a 
brother of some order — probably of the Re- 
demptorists, or of some other evangelical 
pawnbrokers. And a very strange peculiarity 
in the atmosphere brought to the self-same 
spot, our most illustrious municipal executive 
Daniel F. Tiemann. And being mutual ac- 
quaintances, on Sunday last, they enjoyed a 
most comfortable chat, regulating the moral, 
sanitory and religious condition of our citizens, 
when Peter suddenly disappeared, aud his body 
was only recovered a few hours before night- 
fall, when he was discovered thoroughly im- 
pregnated with a speech, which he will proba- 
bly transmit to posterity upon the walls of the 
Institute, but which in reality is the personal 
property of Archbishop Hughes. And on the 
morrow Peter, like his saintly namesake, being 
a fisher of fish as well as of men, went forth 
to angle with the Vicar General, and the ton- 
sured monk, but what caught he beside reli- 
gious truths, which ever hang like diamonds 
upon the voices of the Arehbishop's town 
friends, we regret to say we could not learn. 
There must be something over refreshing in 
the air of Long Branch, some resuscitating 
principle which can allure to that spot such 
a bevy of worthies, who, to while away their 
leisure, have probably settled in every manner, 
not only the Apostolic succession, but Mayor 
Tiemann's re-election. 



We would like some of our cotemporaries to 
tell us what the people have gained in the 
election of Daniel F. Tiemann and the defeat 
of Fernando Wood. The latter is a statesman, 
a fine lawyer, quick perception, brilliant tal- 
ents, and with all the accusations against him, 
proved himself an able, efficient magistrate. 
But Tiemann, what shall the historian say of j 
him ? Echo answers write — on his tomb stone ' 
— "Here lies the paint manufacturer, Daniel 
F. Tiemann, who was unfortunately, elected 
Mayor of New York, through a mistake of 
his friends. He's gone — speak gently of his 
errors — the city debt mourns — the people they 
say — nothing." 

Owing to the large and increasing demand 
for the Alligator, we are induced, by Mr. 
Brancn's friends, to enlarge, consequently next 
week will appear a full grown monster — cov- 
ering eight pages. Look out for next number. 
It will be rich and racy — full of spice. 

An After-thought. — Mayor Tiemann, in 
his epistle to the Lord Mayor of London, re- 
marks, with respect to the Atlantic Telegraph, 
that "to God be all praise."' We are glad that 
the Mayor has, like Saul of Tarsus, seen a great 
light, for last week Cyrus W. Field monopo- 
lized all the praise. 

Niagara Eclipsfd. — We had always thought 
that Niagara falls were the greatest, extaut, 
but we are mistaken. We have lately discov- 
ered one fall infinitely greater than the above — 
Mayor Tiemann's fall from the good opinion of 
the citizens of New York into the arms of James 
Gordon Bennett. 

"A Stick!" — By all means, at all times, we 
would have our friends stick beside us; but the 

assumed friend, who, seeking help, helped him- 
self with our composing stick; trom beside m, 
may he soon need a crutch. — [D.] 



A Pertinent Series of Queries. 

Tu the Editor of the Alligator: 

New Yoiik, August 24, 1858. 

Sm There are a few things which I, with many otherB of my 

acquaintances, wish to know, relative to the assistant matron ox 
i; ; - Island, who figured so conspicuously in Uj>-' press and in 

ourCourt of Sessions for the last month past. Before putting 
the questions, I would jusi say — as the subject of the noteis a 
lady— if this were the first piece of scandal the citizensof new 
York had any Knowledge of in connection with oureity appoint- 
ments, I, for one, would have been the first to have had this 

Ivor) morsel consigned to the " tomb of all the Oapulets." I'n- 

fortunately it is not so. It is a well known fact that those who 

i: fortunate enough to receive the patronage of tin corporation 

fork, ami of all tic lessei orgi 

with oureity, must, at loa-t ,- .pialifl- 

cation— they must be thoroughly destitute of honesty. Ado to 
this a great talent for plundering the public treasury, drinking 
any quantity of rum, talking profanely, and well skilled in Bat- 
talia, drinking swill milk and eating su tyedbeef. and. in a word, 
in can iboozling everybody. It would appear, fromdiscli isures lately 
made in certain quarters, the Qualifications for the female p i 
of the appointees is in no way higher than the male portion. 

The first question is— Did the Ten Govt I a, or any of them, 

kn that this woman cohabited, as alleged in the Alligatoi and 

QOt disputed on the trial, with the individual represented as her 
friend ? If so, this is a sail spectacle to be exhibited before our 
wives and daughters. 

In the second place, why did Mayor, then Governor, TiemaDn, if 
he did not knov\ prevent this particular friend from visiting the 
island, while he permitted ail the lady s other friends to visit 
her? 

In the third place, how came this lady to be in want of small 
sums of money at different times, and how came she to make her 
wants known to Governor 'f ienian ? And, far nior, ivouilerful 
still, that he should supply them repeatedly without the former 
advance being liquidated ? This seems to me passing strange 
when we come to reflect on the faet that this woman receives for 
her services on the Island $800 per year ; no small sum for an as- 
sistant matron. 

In the fourth place, if all or any of the above be true— and it 
may he true for any thing I know— (the trial of Branch did not at 
all touch these questions)— why is the lady not removed from the 
island, for sin- is totally unfitted for the responsible situation she 
now fills ? If the charges be false, why does the lady not take im- 
mediate steps to clear herself from this heueous scandal? The 
public have a right to demand that she either clear her character 

that she be removed from the Island. 

A WORKING MAN. 

EF~ The Sunday Mercury reads us a homily, and attempts to 
whitewash the conduct of the Warden of the Penitentiary. 
John Smith, Jr., of Arkansas, is a great roan in his own esti- 
mation, and it is a pity that the appreciation extends no fur- 
ther. 

XW The Tribune attempts to advise the Tarnmany Committee 
wilh regard to their political action. This is extremely civil 
as well as kind, and in return for this the Sachems will proba- 
bly vote the Republican ticket, There is nothing more useful 
than perseverance, if we except putty. 

Supreme Court. 

In the matter of Stephen H. Branch under- 
going sentence for libel. — Mr. Ashmead said he 
had obtained a writ of error in this case, lie 
was at first disposed to let the judgment be 
affirmed by this Court without argument, in 
order that it might go to the Court of Appeals, 
but he was informed by Mr. Branch's friends 
that he is failing so fast that the question is 
doubtful whether he will live until the Court 
of Appeals meets. 

Judge Davies — There is no other business 
before the Court. 

Mr. Ashmead asked to have a day set down 
for the argument in this matter. 

Judge Davies — No, sir ; we cannot meet 
again until the third Monday in September. 

Mr. Sedgwick, Assistant District Attorney, 
could not consent to the case going on out of 
the regular order. He had no doubt but Mr. 
McKeon would like to facilitate the argument; 
he was, however, out of town, and Mr. Sedg- 
wick could not name any day. 

Mr. Ashmead said that the defendant's 
points were so very clear and the exceptions 
taken so indisputable that he had no doubt 
that the case could be disposed of in fifteen 
minutes. 

Mr. Sedgwick said the reason he could not 
conset was that Mr. Ashmead had intimated 
that he would make no strenuous opposition 
to a judgment for the people in this Court, in 
order that the case might go to the Court of 
Appeals at the next term; Mr. McKeon had 
left town with that understanding, but a few 
days since Mr. Ashmead gave notice that he 
would like to argue the questions here; coun- 
sel for the people were not therefore prepared. 

Mr. Ashmead woidd consent to judgment 
for the people pro forma, but Mr. Branch's 
friends were importuning him to have the mat- 
ter disposed of, as they feared he will not sur- 
vive until the Court of Appeals meets in Sep- 
tember. 

The Court suggested that if Mr. Branch's 
health was such that his life was endangered, 
he could be admitted to bail. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



FALL ELECTION. 



State or Kxw-Yobe, 
Orrics or thb Seceetaby op Statb, 

Albany, August 2, 1B63. 



.1 



: 
IR— NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, THAT AT THE OE- 



Mr. Sedgwick said that he could be bailed 
by an order of the Court. 

Judge Davies said this Court would adjourn | 
to to-morrow or Saturday, for the purpose of: 
hearing the argnment, but Mr. Sedgwick could \ S_ 

u \f \f„c„„„ „.™,l^ „<„.» TTt./mi O neral Election to be held in this State on the Tuesday succeed- 

not say when Mr. McKeon would return. Upon i M , he flrat Mondav m November next, the Mowing officers are 
the suggestion of the Court, the case took the toV elected, to wit : _ 

** 6& i . A Gotcenob, in the placeof John A, King; 

regular order, to come beiore the General 
Term on the third Monday of September, 
which would give them time to go before the 



A LrsDTENAST Govzrnob, In the place of Henry R. Selden ; 

A Cawal Commissioner, in the place of Samuel B. Ruggles, ap- 
pointed in place of Samuel S. Whallon, deceased ; 

An Inspector of State Prisons, in the place of William A. 
Russell ; 



The above is published pursuant to the notice ot Ike Secretary 
of State, and the requirements of the Statute is such case Macs 
and provided. 

JAMES C. WILLET, 
Sheriff of the City and County of New Tort 

XB~ All the public newspapers in the county will publish the 
above once in each week until the election, and then hand lo Uelr 
bills for advertising the same, so that they may be laid before the 
Board of Supervisors, and passed for payment. See Revised 
Stat, vol, 1, chap. 6, title 3, article 2d, part 1st, page 140. 



Court of Appeals On the fourth Tuesday ofj "Alfwhose terms of office will expire on the last day of Decem- 

that month. A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 

Mr \shmead mid that he had searched the States, for the Third Congressional District, composed of the CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best w orkmen In the 
Jll. AMiiiieau MliMiMmeuauKuiuivui Second, Third, Fifth and Eighth Wards in the city of New city, is now opened for inspection. Also, a superior stock of FCR- 

books, and from the time of Charles the Second \ Tor k. 



FRANCIS B. BALDWIN. WHOLESALE AND RETAIL 
CLOTHING & FURNISHING WAREHOUSE, No. 7» 
and 72 Bowery', between Canal and Hester streets. New York- 
Large and elegant assortments of Youths' and Bovs' Clothing, fcs^ 

F. B. BALDWIN^ 
J. G. BARNUM.t~ 
F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense E ' 
lishment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY! An entire New 
Stock of GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S and CHILDREN'S 



„„„„. ,l„v trip™ is no inch sen- I A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
QOW11 to tllC present llay, mere IS UO SUCU sen \ glate% for the Four1n Congressioual^pistrict, composed of the 

tence to be found on record. 
The Court adjourned sine die. 



Fourth, Sixth, Tenth and Fourteenth Wards in the city of New 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
Trio f. .llnn-lnrr w tfchn silhstancp of Mr Ash- ; Slates, for the Fifth Congressional District, composed of the Ser- 
ine tuljon lug IS liie SUDSUUlce Ol air. .asu , e ™ and T1)irU ,, nlh Wards of the city of New York, and the 
mead's points for Branch : Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth and Sixteenth Wards of Brook- 

1. In refusing to receive the testimony of, ! A ' Representative in the Thirty sixth Congress of the United 
♦V,o tViroA nrifnHufla who offered to nrove that States, for the Sixth Congressional District, composed of the 
tne tnrCt- « lmesses W UO OlieiCU 10 (Hove, iuu | E , ev( , ulhi Fifteenth and Seventeenth Wards to the City of New 

thev told Branch the matters which he pub- , York ; . t mu .__ 

,. , J , , u" l l, A „. Ith.llnnc in A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 

lished, and Which were Cnargea aa llDeiiOUS, 111 state*, for the Seventh Congressional District, composed of the 
Order to rebut the implication Of malice. Ninth. Sixteenth, and Twentieth Wards in the City of New 

charr'in" the jury that if the defendant And also, a Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the 
° A 4.C tlw»l, „-, i„ + „,„ r.f tli,. United States for the Eighth Congressional District, composed of 
Or proved the trutll as to tWO or UK I the Twelflhi Eighteenth, Nineteenth. Twenty-first, and Twenty- 

* t _j. A.1 J. " 1. *.n +■■> s% «« r.,. r . r .r,A UTawli "... I Ik. ( 'it i' r,f Vow Yrirfr 



NfSHING GrOODS. All articles are of the B»t Quality, and haT- 
"mg been purchased duriug the crisis, WILL BE SOLI) VERT 
LOW ! The Custom Department contains the greatest variety of 
CLOTHS, CAS3IMERES, and VESTINGS. 

Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J.G.BARKUM, 
who has had great experience in the business, haying been thirty 
years connected with the leading Clothing Establishments of tbo 
city. 



2. In 

justiJed 

parties charged, yet, that inasmuch as the in- second Wards in the citv of New York. 

dictmeut embraced a libel on three, he must 

still be found guilty. 

3. That the whole proceedings are coram 
nonjudke, the Court having no jurisdiction to 
originate bilis in case of misdemeanor. 

4. In charging the jury that the law pre- 
sumed malice from the publication of a libel, 



COUNTY OFFICERS ALSO TO BE ELECTED FOR SAID 
COUNTY. 

Seventeen Members op Assembly ; 

A Sherief, in the place of James O. Willett ; 

A County Clerk, in the place of Richard B. Connolly : 

Form Coeonees. in the place of Frederick W. Perry, Edward 
Connery, Robert Gamble and Samuel C. Hills ; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of December 

The attention of Inspectors of Election and County Canvassers 
-, Is directed to Chapter 320 of Laws of 1S58, a copy of which is 

. .. „ „ ,.;_. t v, t (printed, for instructions to regard to their duties under said law. 

Without instructing them at the Same time tnat j K SUDmi , ttmg , ne question of calling a Convention to revise the 

1 Constitution and amend the same to the people of the State." 
Chap. 320. 
AN ACT to submit the question of calling a Convention to revise 
the Constitution and amend the same, to the People of the 
State 



it was only a prima facie presumption, and 
could be rebutted bv evidence. 



JAMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD-TWENTY-SIXTH 
street and Second Avenue. I always have all kinds of coal 
on hand, and of the very best quality, which I will sell as low as 
any other coal dealer in the United States. 

JAMES DONNELLY.g 

WILLIAM COULTER. CARPENTER.— I HAVE LONG 
been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who will 
favor me with their patronage, that I will build as good houses, or 
anything else in my line, as any other carpenter to the city of New 
York. I will also he as reasonable in charges for my work as 
any other person. 

WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter, 
Rear of 216 East Twentieth street. New Y'orte. 



WW. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 9 CHAMBER 
• street, near Chatham street, New York. 



O ANTE MENTO.— No. 20 ATTORNEY STREET, NEAR 
O Grand, has a superior assortment of Cloths, Cassimeres, and 
Testings, made to order in the most fashionable and approved Pa- 
risian styles, and at short notice. Let gentlemen call and patronize 
me, audi will do my utmost to pleaseniy customers. 



Branch's Condition. — A gentleman, upon 
whose statements we can place the utmost re- 
liance, tells us that a day or two ago he visited 
Branch at Blackwell's Island. After crossing 



Passed April 17, 1853— three-fifths being present. 
The People of the Stale of New York, represented in Senate 
and Assembly, do aaao\ as follows : 
Section 1 The Inspectors of Election in each town, ward, and 
election district in this Stale at the annual election to be held in 
♦I „ -;„,>,. onrl rooMiinir the Island the gentle- I November next, shall provide a proper b« to receive the ballots 
the river and reaclling ine ISianu, Hit) geunc l ()f (h( . ciUzen3 ' 01 - lni / st ate entitled to vote for members of the 
ttlfin was shown into a Small Office attached tO , Legislature at such election. On such ballot shall be written or 
limuv, aa SHU v. u iuv „„,„_„„+• printed or partly written and printed, by those voters who are in 

the Penitentiary. At this place he saw one ot i [ avor „;. a A, uv ^ M i,„ K the words : » s-hall there be a convention 

fll . j.-v, „„,,„„» on order from OUC of the to Revise the Constitution and amend the same? Yes." And by 
the Clerk S present an oruer nuiu oucui t-uo |lhMevutl , ra wll0are opposed thereto, the words: "Shall there be 
" Governors " tO be permitted tO see rirancll. I a Convention to Revise the Constitution and amend the same t 
. „ ,, ' f ... „ <•_»„„„>„ Allien iNo" And ail citizens cutitled to vote as aforesaid shall be allow- 

After a tew moments the unfortunate Alliga- » u ; v ^ e by UUot M aforMaicli m the election district in which 

tor, but still indomitable Branch, presented I he resides, and not ^"^ one] two anll thr ^ of ,„,, four , of 



of an act entitled "An act re 



himself. His face was paler than when in the 
city, and his general appearance was that of a 
man who was suffering from a want of nutriti- 
ous food and the usual comforts of life. Branch 

OUSlouuaiii r , rlann f . nfi t„,ne his hair 'oegiven or offered under the act; and the manner of voting and 

was dressed 1U the prison COStUllie, nis nail ^ w Iise . an rl the penalties tor false swearing, prescribed by law. 
Was Cropped and his whiskers shaved. He are hereby declared in full force and effect in voting or offering to 

stated that he was now employed in carrying 
the tools used by the people of the quarry, and 



52. So 
chapter one hundred and thirty, .. 

apectiug elections other than for luUitia and town officer, passed 
April hftli eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending 
the same, as regulates the manner of conducting elections ami 
challenges oaths to be administered, and inquiries to be made, of 
persons offering to vote, shall be deemed applicable to the votes to 

. __ . *r? i i . .. i i . . ns.r • nn.l I tin ii in mi it of vritifi'' and 



FULTON IRON WORKS.-, TAMES MURPHY & CO., 
Manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines, Boilers, &c. 
Iron and Brass Casting s. Foot of Cherry Street, East River. 

ROBERT ONDERDONK. — THIRTEENTH WAKD- 
Hotel 405 and 407 Grand street, corner of Clinton street. 



CHAIR & OFFICE 
■ N 
of Read street, New York, Room No. IB. 



WILLIAM M. TWEED, . 
ture Dealer and Manufacturer. No. 389 Broadway, comer 



FASHION HOUSE— JOSEPH HYDE 



JO corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, and Cigars 
of the best brands. He invitee his friends to give him 
Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons. 



PROPRIETOR, 
gars 
call. 



VITTLLIAM A. CONKLLN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL- 
yy lor at Law, No. 176 Chatham street, New York. Any busi- 
ness entrusted to his charge from citizens of this cityorany part 
of the country, will receive prompt and faithful attention, and be 
conducted on reasonable terms. 

WILLIAM A. CONKLM. 



GEO. KNAPP & CO., WHOLESALE AND RETAIL 
Dealers in Butter, Cheese, Eggs,Poultry and country produce. 
No. — Clinton Market, opposite Page's Hotel, New York. 

GEO. KNAPP. 
H.D.ALBERS. 



vote under tltis act. 

5 - 1 The said votes given for and against a convention, in pursu- 
ance 'of this act, shall be canvassed by the Inspectors ot the several 
eleetiou districts or polls of the said election in the manner pre- 
tlint •llthniiffh the work was not necessarily scribed by law, and as provided in i article four, of «Ue aur; ol 
lUai, aiUlOllgll mo wei»»» £ „„j chapter one hundred and thirty of the said act, passed Apnl tilth, 

eighteen hundred and forty -two, and the acts amending the same, 
a/far as the same are applicable ; and such canvass shall be com- 
pleted by ascertaining the whole number of votes given m each 
election district or pill for a convention, and the whole number ot 
votes given against such convention, in the iorni aforesaid | and 
the result being found, the inspectors shall make a statement in 
words, at full length, ot the number of ballots received in relation 
to such convention, and shall also state in words, at full length 
the whole number of ballots having thereon the words, shah 
there be a Convention to revise the Constitution and amend the 
same' No." Such statements as aforesaid shall contain a cap- 
tion stating the day on which, and the number of the district, the 
town or ward, and the county at which the election was held, and 
at the end thereof a certificate that such statement it correct "' all 
respects, which certitkate shall be subscribed by all the "nsPOvtors, 
and a true copy of such statement shall be immediately nled by 
them In the ottoe "of the clerk or the town or city. 
64. The original -u. . nients, duly certified as aforesaid, shall be 

*. .. -S nnn „F tl,..,ii I,, ).o ilr-iinto tor that 



too severe, yet the fact that he was confined 
all day amid the dust of the quarry, and fed on 
food which his system and appetite revolts at, 
he was rapidly losing his strength, and was 
threatened with a paralysis of his left side. He 
stated that he had to get upon several times in 
the night to rub his limbs, and that his case 
was aggravated from the fact that he was de- 
nied the use of slippers, and had consequently 
to stand on the stone floor whenever he wits 
obliireil to ri^e from his bed. He says that if 

OUUj,euioii»iuuii"'"i» _ J . §4. The original .^ulemenis,iiui) ce.iiiieo.K,^.,.-..-. »"....-- 

the oresent severe discipline is not alleviated, delivered by the inspei tors, or one of them to be deputed tor mat 

■ '.ii i- • l -J 1 1 ■ -1 M t I • oo uuruose to'the supervisor, or, in case there be no supervisor or 

lie will not live six weeks, and his chest is se- f"^' b to ,^,;, L ,\ rrulll Ending the board of convassers, tien 



JONES & HOFF, whoBeplaceof business is in front of the 

' "ions of the day, In- 

The public patron- 



jLjLe "AstorHouserkeej, aUthelatest publications of the dav. In 



eluding all the Daily and Weekly Newspaper* 
age is most respectfully solicited, 



CARPENTER AND BUILDER 
_j No. 74 Reade street, near Broadway, New York. 
N . B.— All kinds ot Jobbing done at short notice. 



T^DMUND FOWLER, 



BOWERY NEWS DEPOT, NO. 177 BOWERY. -CON- 
stantly on hand, Dailv, Sunday, and Weekly Papers Monthly 
Magazines, Play Books. Stationary, Ac., ic. English Papers per 
Steamers. All orders punctually attended to. „,„„„.. 

BENNET & CARROLL. 



verely affected by the dust of the quarry and 
the hard labor he has to perform, without ade- 
quate food. — Daily Times. 

A story is told by Sir "Walter Scott, of a 
Scotch nobleman who had a very ugly daugh- 
ter called " Mnokle Mouthed Meg," whom no- 
body would look at. Having caught a young 
mini tit' good family on his estate in some 
scrape, he had him tried and condemned to be 
hanged. When the young man appealed to 
him, he told him, "The only way 1 can save 
you is by vo nr marrying my ugly daughter." 
The young man said lie would be hanged first. 
When brought out to the gallows and the rope 
was se.-n hanging ready, the young man cried 
out, "Let me have another look at her." 



AMERICAN GLASS COMPANY, MANUFACTURE AND 
keen constantly on band at their Warehouse, Plain, Moulded, 
audCutFlint Glass Ware, in all its varieties. Also Druggists' and 
Perfumers' Ware of all Kinds. Wholesale Warehouses, No. 163 
Pearl Btreet, New York, and No. 64 Kilby street, Boston, (facto- 
ries at South Boston.) D . Burrill & Co., Agents, New Y ork. 

VnO. WARD. JR., REAL ESTATE AGENT, OFFICES 
J No. 6 Tryou Row, corner Chatham street, (opposite the Park,) 
New York, and 4th Aveuue, near 126th street, Harlem. 



to one of the assessors of the town or ward, within twenty-foul 
hours after the same shall have been subscribed by such inspec- 
tors to he disposed of as other statements at such election, are 

"Ts'irniuchof-ariiclesllrst, second, third, and fourth, of title 
filth, of chapter one hundred and thirty, of the act entitled. An 
act respecting election- othcrthan foi militia and town o Hot.-, 
and the acts amending the same, as regulates the iliitu ■, o f < ou .,- 
t, Canvassers and their proceedings, and be Sutra Conrd-j 

Clerks, anil the Secretary "f Slate, anil the Board of State Can- 

vaaeera, shall be applied to the canvassing and ascertaining the 

wufof'thepeopl.'.'.. -tins Stttein relation to the proposed con- 
vention- and if It shaD appear thai a majority ol the votes or 
ballots given in and returned as aforesaid are against a conven- 
tion, then th. said canvassers arc require, lo certify and declare 
that fact by a certificate, subscribed by them, aid Sled with the 
Seeretarv of Slate ; but if il shall appear by the said emu am thai 

a majority of the ballot* or votea given as aforesaid are foi aeon. 

veutioii, then they -ball by like certificates, to be nled as afore- 
said, declare that 'fact ; aid t be sald^ Secretary ahali eommun callt 
a cony of such certfflCate to both branches of the L.-gis lain e, 
atineooenhig of the l.«l session thereof. Yours, lespecttully, 

* UiDEON J. TUCKER, Secretary ol state. 

SiLEBirii'B OrnuE, t 

New Yuan, August 4, ISC*, j 



PC GODFREY, STATIONER, BOOKSELLER, AND 
, General News dealer, No. 831 Broadway, New York, near 
13th street. 



AUGUST BRENTANO, CORNER OF HOUSTON STREET 
and Broadway, has all the latest Publications, and receive* 
all the Foreign Papers by even- steamer. He also has the back 
numbers of almost every paper published, including Branch > 
-AUigator." 



CLINTON LUNCH, OYSTER AND DINING SALOON, 
No. ID Beekman street. The best of Limiors and Cigars. 



GEO. W. WARNER. 
SAMUEL M. MILLER. 



DAVID WILLIAMS, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR 
at Law, No. 15 Centre street, New York. 



JW. MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE AND 
. Retail dealers in all kinds if Chairs, Wash stands. Settees, 
Ac No. .".77 and 379 Pearl street. New York 
Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, In Boies, for Shipping. 



BEN.IAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN REAL 
Estate, Houses and Stores and Lots tor sale in all part* 
of the City. Office at the junction of Broadway, «■ 
avenue, and Forty-elxth street. 



Seventh 




mon. 



Volume I.— No. 21. 



SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11. 1858. 



Price 2 Cents. 



What Peter Said. 

The great Cable celebration at the Crystal 
Palace was apparently a cut and dried affair, 
for the lew speeches transmitted to us by the 
press were not only written, but printed in 
advance of delivery — a comfortable method of 
reporting, very satisfactory, but not quite lite- 
ral, as well as undignified in the orator of the 
day reading off his speech, schoolboy -like from 
the crown of his hat. Peter had his say, and 
a very funny say it was, so much so that we 
are inclined to believe that Archbishop John, 
while "stuffing" at Long Branch, intentionally 
•quizzed that venerable duck. Peter, when it 
came to his say, was chuck full of electricity ; 
he sparkled and snapped like an aurora borea- 
lis; he was better charged than the cable, and 
bis eloquence went off with a series of flashes 
like the detonations of a Leyden jar. He told 
us "his labors which required the indomitable 
courage, the far-seeing and electrifying mind 
of Cyrus W. Field to inspire and stimulate." 
Cyrus then is the electrical eel of this new- 
era, and should be carefully preserved within 
non-conductors from fear of shocking accidents. 
Then Peter got poetical, and travels in the 
great garden of the world within and the world 
without, and clothes a man there with power. 
This great garden could not he that of Eden, 
for there nobody went clothed with anything. 
And then Peter got surgical, and goes into 
midwifery, calling the cable "the umbilical 
cord that binds the mother^ continent to the 
child." Then Peter grew prophetical, and 
tells us what electricity will do some day or 
the other. And then Peter got enigmatical, 
and didn't know what he did say, and then lie 
said that language failed him, and upon this 
giving out he Silt down and looked profound 
at everybody and everything for the remainder 
of the exercises, bestowing on the audience an 
occasional yawn. 



A New Scheme. 

So the repairs to the City Hall are to be 
made by the jobbing system. The contract 
system, money-making as it is, is too liable to 
be exposed to the inspection and judgment of 
the people, but a large job that is splii up into 
a dozen or more little ones and given out to a> 
many individuals, pays better, and can be 
more secretly conducted; therefore this job 
which might be done leasoiiably low by a 
contractor, is to lie highly jobbed out piece- 
meal. Verily, we live in a great age, have 
great city fathers, an illustrious Mayor and 
plenty of paint and putty. 



Puttyman turned Merriman. 

The anecdotes of great man are the treas- 
ures of local history, and are generally pre- 
sumed to lend some light upon the trivialities 
of State life. Daniel F. Tiemann is reported 
to have remarked, in a serious manner it must 
be observed, for Daniel is thought to be a tee- 
totaller, and rarely dons the motley, that 
when the Lord Mayor of London hears of our 
celebration and burning of the City Hall, he 
would return the compliment by setting fire 
to the Mansion House. There can be no doubt 
that this charitable ebullition of ettiquette will 
be accomplished, and were it not for the ex- 
treme modesty of the worshipful Tiemann, 
there is little doubt but that his Lordship 
would be induced to re-enact the part of Guy 
Fawkes, and throw in the two houses of" Par- 
liament by way of a superior pyrotechnical 
display. The thanks of the British public are 
I unquestionably due Puttyman for his modera- 
tion, for were he to will it, the Atlantic Cable 
might require the immolation of Gog and Ma- 
gog, and. peradventure, the importation of 
the Bow Bells. But Puttyman says he was 
only joking, and in alluding to the Metropolitan 
edifice, intended merely to call forth a sally 
of wit instead of a blaze of pure genuine 
flame. 

The first appearance of Mr. Puttyman in his 
new character of Merrriman, is highly credit- 
able to a new beginner, and we have little 
duubt that after a suitable intellectual training 
by Mr. Gossin, and a few stray tricks from 
Signor Carlo, be will be able to perform a 
creditable engagement with Dan Rice. Indeed, 
« t- do not know but with the aid of lamp- 
black and a dictionary, he might be converted 
into an excellent Brother Bones, if not a joker 
in all the spirit of Tom Brown, and the quaint- 
ness of the late inveterate Horn. When other 
occupations are gone. Mr. Puttyman, from this 
specimen of jocularity, is entitled to a front 
seat in the saw dust. 



How to Shed a Ray of Light. 
At the Cable demonstration on the 1st, 
Aldermanic politeness showed itself in its true 
colors by the virtual expulsion of reporters 
from the Crystal Palace. Immediately previ- 
ously to the commencement of the exercises, 
Mr. Lowber, a protege of the reformer's, whose 
name may be remembered in connection with 
a claim against the city, ordered the removal 
of the tables and benches allowed to the press. 
Alderman Thomas MeSpedon, whose name 
will become famous to the press before the 
whole of the documents in the Hall of Re- 
cords are printed, forthwith directed the re- 
moval of the pressgang, which, like the Joseph 
Walker, was held by Mr. Lowber to be a 
nuisance. This summary proceeding was 
characteristic of aldermanic wisdom, by for- 
getting that while the wide world was inter- 
ested in the cable, our astute gentleman imag- 
ined that he had it safely coiled in his breeehes 
pocket. Luckily all the addresses, which had 
the sanction of the Common Council, were in 
print for a few days before their deliverv, and 
that portion of our municipal greatness has 
escaped certain loss. Unfortunately there are 
two sides to a question as well as an address, 
and as the British recipients of the addresses, 
as well as the Captain of the Niagara, were 
not up to the mysteries of the Tea-Room, 
their replies are forever lost. We have 
doubtless lost the wheat and secured the chaff. 



Eieek.v. — There having been great inquiry 
made as to whom the statue in the City Hall 
Park represents, we are happy to inform the 
inquisitive that we learn by a dispatch sent us 
iiy the Atlantic Telegraph, that it is the fac 
umilt oX the great Puttyman. 

A Creates Union than the Telegraph. — 
The political junction between Peter Cooper 
ami Tiemann. The cable can't stand compari- 
son with tin- cement of putty and glue. 



Strange, if True. — We read in the Herald 
the other day, that, in the opiuion of that ora- 
cle, the successful laying of the Trans-atlantic 
Cable would change the whole moral aspect of 
human affairs — the Herald included. Now we 
must confess we do belong to that class of per- 
sons which believe that physical agency and 
morals are intimately allied, and that the great 
achievement of submer^iag the cable will pro- 
duce more or less a moral effect. Still we are 
doubtiul of the Herald. We are equally doubt- 
ful whether tne successful laying of two cables 
and a half dozen other scientific victories much 
greater than anything that has yet transpired, 
could produce an improvement in the moral 
character of the Herald. Bennett is too great 
and too hardened a sinner. Still we have heard 
of repentance at the eleventh hour. 

A Good Idea. — Our devil suggests that the 
great Puttyman would do well to hire Jobs.. n 
to edit the Satanic. This might be beneficial 
to ^uttyman, but we doui't whether Mr. .lob- 
son would consent to lend his brain in such a 
tilthty channel. The great French historian 
can do better. 



STEPHEN" H. BRATNTCFFS ALLIGATOR. 



THE ALLIGATOB. 

New York, Saturday, September 11, 1858. 



Out with Them. 

Our people have by this time purchased the 
significant lesson that it is impossible to create 
an elective judiciary, worthy of esteem and 
capable of discharging the onerous functions 
committed to their custody. The learned San- 
cho Pauza observed, with respect to the im- 
possibility of oreating silk purses ont of sows, 
ears. We can do likewise as to the utter ina- 
bility of manufacturing judges, worthy of the 
ermine, from raw material, such as Mr. Recor- 
der Barnard and City Judge Russell, neither 
of whom would be selected to decide upon 
the merits of a cock tight, much less to deter- 
mine the rights of personal liberty. Is the 
evil to be longer endured, to be incessantly 
repeated, or are the people to take the matter 
iu their own hands that we may divest our- 
selves from the burdens which Sihbad-like we 
are compelled to bear on our shoulders ? 

We have thoroughly tested the question of 
an elective judiciary, both theoretrically and 
practically, and we have arrived at one con- 
clusion — that we obtain politicians instead of 
judges, and thereby jeopardize the very foun- 
dation of our national liberties. We have 
done more, and openly pandered to the lowest 
vice in suffering the right of ballot to be pros- 
tituted in order that the most unworthy of 
men may creep into the judiciary. We have 
emptied the tap-rooms ami bar-rooms of their 
tenants, and have thus sullied the dignity of 
the ermine. We have also done everything 
in our power to neutralize the benevolent in- 
tentions of our republican institutions, by cor- 
rupting the only safeguard for their perpetua- 
tion. And. this series of calamities is chiefly 
attributable to the introduction of the politi- 
cal mancevre of rendering the judiciary elec- 
tive, and thus we have sacrificed the wisdom of 
our revolutionary ancestors. 

A few years ago, when the judiciary were 
appointed by the State Senate, and served un- 
til physical infirmities limited the term, the 
New York Bench were unrivalled for learning, 
courtesy and literary acquirements. Our crim- 
inal judges were particularly distinguished, 
and the name of Richard Riker, for many 
years Recorder of New York, will be remem- 
bered as that of a worthy and respected magis- 
trate. Whence have we receded to secure 
Russells and Barnards? Nay, we have even 
gone to the length of creating offices which 
are perfectly useless, and filled them with idle 
incumbents. Will any man say that the City 
Court exists as a matter of necesity, or that 
the duties of the officers do not belong to other 
authorities? If not, why not erect a court- 
room and not compel its presiding dignitary to 
lounge a hanger-on the Court of Sessions. Pro- 
bably it is better for the common weal, ami 
more in accordance with Mr. Russell's antece- 
dents, that he be suffered to continue in this 
way of life, in which the extent of mischief 
may be kept within limit. In the approaching 
constitutional convention, the question of an 
elective judiciary will be fairly at issue, and it 
is one duty that we owe to ourselves to re- 
organize the magistracy, that its ancient char- 
acter for integrity and truth may oe revived 
and perpetuated. This work of purification 
will prodably he strenuously opposed by those 
of our politicians, who are dependent to the 
gangs of shoulder hitters, and brothel pimps, 
now infecting our city ami rendering the elec- 
tive franchise a political caricature. If we 
suffer this opportunity to escape us, we are 
unworthy the character of freemen, and de- 
servedly the cellars "I a judiciary, as inicom- 
pent as it is useless, and as useless as it is ex- 
pensive. 



The Tail of the Cable. 

We have hail our gay old time; our citizens 
have laid fireworks, and crackers, and cheese ; 
our boys have had a turn-out, and our country 
cousins have had a most stunning display ot 
municipal greatness, — in a word, we have glo- 
rified God, the Atlantic Cable, and the Field 
family. This is all very well in its way ; but 
when we come to pay tor the piping, we natu- 
rally inquire the reason for all this fuss and 
commotion — for the only thing which appears 
to be quiet is the cable itself, which neither 
works nor gives evidence of any inclination 
towards labor. Now that we have had the 
tun, let us pay for it. 

The people of England, who own the Tele- 
graph, each end being limited to British soil, 
and the ,whole line under control of British 
capitalists, seem to have rejoiced over the suc- 
cess i if the great event of the age in a most ra- 
tional and sensible manner, while we have ap- 
parently gone mad with joy over an affair 
which, in nowise, can be construed into a na- 
tional subject. Degrading as it may be to out- 
personal pride, Peter Cooper, the Field family, 
and Archbishop John, to the contrary not- 
withstanding, the Atlantic Telegraph is essen- 
tially an English triumph ; and in expending a 
large sum of money in an ebullition of passing 
insanity, our citizens have only rendered them- 
selves subjects for merriment. Who will deny 
that, although the project of an Atlantic Tele- 
graph was first broached on this side of the 
Atlantic, almost the entire credit of its success 
has been committed to British hands. The 
money was raised in England, and three out 
of four vessels, engaged in the enterprize, bore 
the British fiag. And now have we any just 
excuse to run mad with joy, and to add some 
fifty thousand additional taxes to our already 
over-taxed community ? 

The very character of the procession which 
went through our streets was a polite satire 
upon the occasion, as it can mainly be regard- 
ed as an illegal method of advertising one's 
wares, which, if persisted in, would prove ruin- 
ous to the Sunday papers. We had cracker 
bakers, alcohol dealers, gas stoves, and all that j 
sort of thing, from the beginning to the end of: 
the chapter ; and one, unacquainted with the 
nature of municipal rejoicing, would conceive 
the demonstration to have been the American 
Institute house-moving on the first of May. 
And now that the reign of folly has past, and 
the iestivity of the occasion wasted into air, a 
second, sober thought suggests to us that Ave 
have been manufacturing a very large quantity 
of excitement upon a very small capital ; and 
the more serious this consideration will become 
as the moment of payment presses on us. We 
have no right to squander public moneys, no 
more than that of embezzling from private 
persons ; still we are well aware that a differ- 
ent standard of morality governs the actions of 
officials from those of the same beings in a 
mercantile character. Now that we have 
reached the tail of the cable excitement, let us 
propound a simple query : What have we 
gained by all this frenzy beyond the glorifica- 
tion of one or two individuals, who have sud- 
denly discovered themselves to be great? We 
have foolishly spent a large sum of money — 
we have made an exhibition of ourselves, and 
have no equivalent to show in exchange for 
our funds and our honor. By the tail of the 
cable hangs a curious tale indeed. 

Too True by Half. — One of our City Fa- 
thcrs, upon being solicited for a ticket to the 
Cable Dinner on the 2d of September, refused, 
giving as a reason that he could not venture to 
in vile any of his friends, from fear of introduc- 
ing improper characters. 



The Paupers at the Town Table. 

If any man hangs around a public house, de- 
pendent upon the charity of visitors for a drink, 
even if it be absolutely necessary to his health, 
he is commonly honored with the epithet of a 
"bummer;" but when a highly distinguished 
politician or other man, too indolent to do his 
own work and subsisting from the public till, 
hangs around the City Hall, awaiting the 
chances at the public table, we fail to recognize 
the similarity of his condition with the dry and 
athirst of the common tap-room. Now we are 
blind enough not to seethe distinction between 
these two classes of worthies, and we are stu- 
pid enough to enumerate both as under the 
same category. It matters little to us whether 
the guzzler at the Metropolitan feeds at the 
public expense, or Brown at the Pewter Mug 
drinks from the involuntary contributions of 
Jones or any other private individual. In both 
instances the principle is the same, and a man 
who dines at the public expense, even if it be 
in the name of Cyrus W. Field, is as much of a 
sucker as the lounger who insists upon partici- 
pating with you in a smile. They are both 
paupers, and should be deservedly esteemed as 
such by an intelligent community. There is 
nothing like calling things by their proper 
names, although they may be distasteful to our 
so-called Reformers. 

It is exceedingly strange that any body of 
men, pretending to advocate retrenchment in 
our finances, will so barefacedly and undis- 
guisedly seize upon a large sum of money be- 
longing, as they honorably admit, to a most 
over-taxed municipality, and squander it for 
the least profitable of animal passions. Three 
thousand dollars could be better expended in a 
monument or other testimonial of our Cable 
joy, than to be guzzled down by a bevy of hun- 
gry hounds, who would have claimed boon- 
companionship with Judas Iscariot to get an 
invitation to the La6t Supper. If it be neces- 
sary to express our joy, why not do it in a ra- 
tional manner, like men gifted with reason, and 
not guzzle and swill like beasts of the field? 
Still the invincible selfishness of our Aldermen 
demanded an Aldermauic banquet, whence a 
majority ot our officials will in all probability 
be carried home on a shutter, if they do not 
succeed in procuring accommodations at the 
public expense in the Fifteenth Ward Station. 
Where better to end the bucchanalian revel? 
We bad believed that, when the iniquity of the 
tea-room was suppressed, and the bevy of 
loafers who were wont to breakfast, dine and 
sup from the free lunch of our Municipal tea- 
room, the whole fabrick of guzzling would be 
cast down, so that every intelligent and rep- 
utable man would conceive it a species of 
larceny to dine at the expense of the poverty- 
stricken tax-payers. But that which is bred 
in the bone cannot come out from the skin, 
and this habit of dining is too deeply seated 
to be eradicated from these veterans at the 
public table. It would be a curious study for 
a statician to compute the amount of groceries, 
wet and dry, consumed by some of these well 
fed officials, and, when published, would afford 
a very instructive lesson in municipal economy. 
We will venture to say that Simeon Draper 
alone, in the course of his public services, has 
deemed it a part of bis duty to consume edibles 
and drinkables to the extent at least of three 
thousand dollars. Here, then, is a question 
for disputation at the Institute that, if the 
official keep of one man costs such a sum, how- 
much would it cost to support an army. 

|^° God made man, and he rested; then he 
made woman and rested; then ire invented the 
Beecher family and rested again, and then he 
created the Field family ; and there, let us 
hope, we come to a full stop. 



STEPHEN H. BRAISTCH-S ALLIGATOR. 



Fish and Fowl 

Notwithstanding the heavy demonstrations 
of the Common Council, by word of mouth 
and by strength of lung in favor of the At 
lantic Cable, it seems that? the reception of the 
crew of the Niagara was entirely overlooked 
by these distinguished characters, who, in their 
ovations to Mr. Cyrus W. Field, and such like 
magnates, ignored the existence of such a poor 
set of individuals as the absolute toilers, who 
live by the sweat of then brow. To make up 
for this deficiency in courtesy, a few gentle- 
men invited and gave a species of demonstra- 
tion, wherein they expected to realize some- 
thing digestible for the poor Jacks of our 
navy, who, in an humble way at least, contrib- 
uted to the success of the great event. Well, 
these gentlemen in hiring a room wherein the 
speechitication could be made, naturally stum- 
bled upon the great Peter Cooper Institute, 
first from the connection Peter had with the 
tail end of the cable, and, secondly, from the 
fact that they labored under the impression 
that the building had been given to our munic- 
ipality for the ' encouragement of arts and 
sciences, and, assuredly, what could be more 
eucouraging to science than a hearty meal after 
scientific labor? 

The committee waited upon the proprietor 
of the Institute and discovered the nightly 
rent for the use of the hall of the building, so 
magnanimously donated to the city, j,o be 
.$100. However, the breasts of landlords are 
not always of stone, and the illustrious Pe- 
ier, taking into consideration the object and 
the occasion, kindly consented to receive from 
the friends of poor Jack but one-half the 
usual price for the loan of a building, vulgarly 
conceived to be public property. Now who 
dares to assert that Peter, the great and liberal 
minded Peter Cooper, never does things by 
halves? 

Cable Jollification. 

Cyrus, the great, has been out on a fishing 
excursion ; he has fished with a long line, a 
keen hook, fine bait, and in deep water — 
caught a fine kettle of fish and many shiners, 
over which the Cooper guild and corporation 
feel disposed to make themselves jolly. This 
may all be very well, but to us it looks very 
much like using an opportunity to make a dis- 
play and have a good time generally to glorify 
somebody at the expense of the people. 

With respect to the merits of this cable, 
Franklin bottled lightning, Morse discovered 
the telegraph principle, Maury the telegraph 
plateau, and Cyrus, with the assistance of 
Brooks, put the two together, for commercial 
purposes, for which Cyrus is to be glorified for- 
ever, while Franklin, Morse and Maury are 
forgotten. The whole cost of the cable cele- 
bration, to the city, will not fall mnch short of 
$15o.iiiiii. ('old winter will soon be here, and 



A Great Chance for Peter. 

Now that we are going to have a new story 
on the City Hall, would it not be an excellent 
opportunity to try the highly ingenious scheme 
of the venerable Peter Cooper, of converting 
the new portion of that public edifice into a 
water-tank ? What a refreshing idea in the 
dog-days ! 

If Peter had only studied political economy 
as deeply as he has hydraulics, he might have 
improved his scheme of fire-extinguishing and 
rendered it at least self-paying, it not a source 
of revenue. During the summer months, this 
artificial pond could be rendered an excellent 
bathing-school, where, beneath the supervision 
of some of the unoccupied police, small boys 
could be allowed, at a shilling a head, to in- 
dulge in a hydropathic luxury of a dive and 
come up again. Beyond this, during the win- 
ter, the pond being subject, we suppose, to the 
ordinary afflictions of a cold, might be advan- 
tageously employed for the healthy relaxation 
of skating, during which performance the ve- 
nerable Peter may patronize the public by an 
exhibition of his highly respected person, after 
the manner of his great predecessor, Wonter 
Von Twiller. By this ingenious arrangement 
ihe great water-tank of the great Peter may 
be rendered as great an institution in a sana- 
tory point of view, as his Institute is to the 
intellectual world of our Atlantic Metropolis. 
Peter should be a water-cure doctor. 

A Wonderful Invention. 

Much has been said about the Albany Re- 
jcDcy, whose lawgivers are Thurlow Weed, 
Seward <& Co., but they cannot compare with 
our great Puttyman, Cooper, Draper &, Co. 
For cunning reforms, soft soap and putty they 
have no competitors. While the former has 
dined on politicians, the latter has luxuriated 
on live alligators — of the short and long branch 
species — until they are looking fat and greasy. 
We advise Weed and Seward to look well to 
their pickets and walls at Syracuse on the 8th 
of September, or our great city reformers will 
not leave them an atom of power or greatness. 
Let Weed remember that these great lights of 
Metropolitan glory, have a peculiar way of 
doing business, unknown to the scientific of 
the present day. The invention is said to be 
despotic and arbitrary in its sway over the 
masses, but this can hardly be, for our Metro- 
politans are clear-sighted people and would 
certainly have made the discovery if such was 
the case; hence their popularity must origin- 
ate from the true greatness of their invention 
and the entire approval and encomiums of the 
Pres during the last three or four weeks. It 
is seldom that any new invention confers hon- 
or, fame and fortune upon the inventor, but 
this "Branch Incarceration" invention 



To THE EDITOR oE THE ALLIGATOR. 



thousands cold and hungry, without the means new era in science, law and philosophy. Th 



to supply themselves with food ami fuel; and' 
we venture to say not $500 could be raised 
from the corporation outside the usual appro- 
priations, to keep them from starvation or 
freezing. All this is the result of a nice little 
arrangement by the city fathers, who are 
mighty fond of guzzling at the public crib 
whenever an excuse can be manufactured. 
This cable laying furnishes a good one, but the 
cable is laid, so let " God be praised," but not 
untd Cyrus has had his share. 



inventors are deserving of a monument to per- 
petuate their memories to future posterity. 
Oh, great Puttyman, little did you think, when 
superintending your humble paint manufac- 
tory, that you would ever be connected in such 
a great discovery. How great, how powerful 
is genius — God-like. Praise God, Puttyman, 
that you and your fellow-inventors are not like 
other men. 



City Hall Bell.— This loud, cracked-toned 
sentinel, having become ashamed of the cor- 
Overdoxe. — It is now understood that the ruption in and round the City Hall, lias left 
persecutors of Mr. Branch have separated from the top of that institution and located rtsell 
co-partnership with Recorder Barnard, whom 



they charge with having overdone matters. It 
is a pity, but Mr. Barnard will learn that, he 
cannot serve both God and man at the same 
time. 



lUtside on a wooden tower. 



Cestral Park. — Supposed to be completed 
about the year 1880— judging by the last two 
years' progress. Cost, impossible to estimate. 



New York. August 23, 1858. 
Sir: — Hitherto I have retrained from ad- 
dressing communications to the newspapers 
upon any subject of interest to the community, 
feeling better satisfied in reading the comments 
of persons other than myself. The course of 
the prosecution towards the unfortunate Mr. 
Branch leads me. for the first time, "to speak to 
the public through the columns of a public 
journal, and suggests to me a number of ideas 
which, I think, bear upon the subject. I am 
not a personal friend of Mr. Branch, never 
having had half a dozen words of conversation 
with him. I look upon the prosecution (or, 
more properly speaking, the persecution) of 
Mr. Branch as a wholesale violation of the 
rights and privileges of the citizens of New 
York, and a violent outrage upon the spirit 
and tenor of our laws. For the first time in 
the history of our criminal jurisprudence, we 
rind a man charged with the commission of an 
offence against our laws, arrested, indicted, 
tried, convicted, sentenced, and placed in the 
vilest servitude, all within the space of two 
short weeks. In this extraordinary trial we 
see, and painfully too, the establishment of a 
recedent to take away our rights and subject 
our persons and property to the ruthless grasp 
of an interested.prosecution. 'Tis true that the 
prosecutors in the case of Mr. Branch were 
wealthy and in positions of influence, and it 
was therefore to lie expected that justice should 
lean toward them, to the taking away of the 
rights of a citizen who could not boast of 
wealth. I assert, and without fear of truthful 
contradiction, that two-thirds of our commu- 
nity to-day sympathize with Mr. Branch, and 
look upon the course of the prosecution as a 
gross violation of their own individual rights, 
and such a violation as loudly calls for the in- 
dignation of the people; and it is indeed pleas- 
ant to reflect, that to-day the persecutors of 
Mr. Branch are entitled to, and willingly re- 
ceive, the supreme. contempt and unmitigated 
scorn of every lover of justice ; and I tell you, 
sir, that scorn and contempt will manifest itself 
at the ballot-box to such a degree, that certain 
persons will wither beneath the loud condem- 
nation of the honest citizen; and the time will 
come when justice shall not be thwarted by 
the mere wink of two or three self-interested- 
individuals, who cannot boast of any povrticula/r 
merit. I take the position, that whether Mr. 
Branch be guilty or not guilty, the trial was 
unfair and the sentence unjust ; and no evi- 
dence appears to my mind causing me to doubt 
I nit that Mr. Branch's assertions were correct. 
Would it not have been much better, in order 
to the proper vindication of the character of 
the person against whom the charges were 
made by .Mr. Branch, that all the circum- 
stances connected with the affair should have 
been brought to light by an even-handed, above- 
board trial? Then, if the charges were false, 
the prosecution would have established their 
honor and integrity in a manner which would 
have satisfied tie- community, and not led them 
to look, as they now do, with suspicion. Be- 
yond all this, Mr. Branch wasMenied the right 
of a preliminary examination; thus showing 
that the first step taken by the prosecution 
was illegal and unjust. These facts, when 
presented to the mind of an enlightened public, 
present such formidable proof of the injustice 
practised towards Mr. Branch, that it is im- 
possible to arrive at any other conclusion than 
that Mr. Branch has been more sinned against 
than sinning. In conclusion 1 shall say, that, 
from what 1 have discovered of public opinion, 
it is high time that something should be done 
to rid ourselves of the present administration, 
and to put in office men who can be relied 
upon; believing a- they do that Mr. Branch 

has been the victim of political persecution. 

Let us hope that the time will soon come 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR 



« hen the rights of the community will be pre- 
served, and their persons and property pro- 
t' oted by an enlightened, intelligent and ho- 
norable judiciary. Van. 



The Genuine Cable. 

No single enterprise better illustrates the 
go'-ahead-ativeness of Americans than the pur- 
chase by Messrs. Tiffany & Co., the Broadway 

jewellers, of the entire surplus '»f the Atlantic 
Telegraph Cable, left on beard the Niagara. 
They have no possible use for it, beyond the 
selling of pieces as specimens to be preserved 
as curiosities; and yet, on this speculation 
they have advanced "some $30,000 or $40,000 
hard cash. In some cities, and some countries 
they would inevitably find themselves " stnck," 
as the newsboys say ; but here, they will, as- 
suredly and deservedly, reap a rich reward. 
They are selling the pieces, plain and mounted 
with, A"' simile certificates by Mr. Field, at all 
prices, from 50 cents upwards, about as fast as 
they can cut them off. — Sun. 

Now, of what real utility is a piece of this 
supposed cable ? None whatever. We strong- 
ly suspect hundreds of mechanics are employ- 
ed daily in manufacturing a fac simile of the 
Atlantic Cable, and doubtless will continue to 
.be so employed as long as a purchaser for a 
piece of " that Cable " can be found. For 
gullibility, New Yorkers are certainly the 
greenest of the human species. Still, perhaps, 
an imitation of "that Cable" will answer ev- 
ery purpose, and enrich the retailer at the ex- 
pense of the credulous. We intend to get a 
monster "cable" manufactured, "to order," 
to cable up our Alligator o'nights. 



A showman giving dramatic entertainments 
in Lafayette, Ind., was called upon by Terrell, 
of the Journal, who tendered a bushel of corn 
for admission. The manager refused to accept 
of it, telling Terrell that all the members of 
his company had been corned for the past six 
weeks. Our city fathers have been sham- 
paigned and cabled for the last two weeks. 

Our devil thinks it a national loss that the 
Limekiln man did not live long enough to he 
elected Mayor. No doubt of it — lime is more 
substantil than paint: 



Wonder if the great Putty-man has ever 
paid Bennett that little bill for paint advertis- 
ing ? We suppose so, as Bennett is now usiug 
plenty of va/rnish of the putty calibre. 



Advertisements— 25 Cents a line. 

Credit. — From two to four seconds, or as long as the Advertiser 
can hold his breath ! Letters and Advertisements to be left at No. 
114 Nassau-street, second story, front room. 



ClOREY AND SON, MERCHANT'S EXCHANGE. WALL 
,/ street. New York, Notaries Public and Commissioners — United 
States Passports issued in 36 hours.— Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and 
N otes protested,— Marine protests In it e<l and extended. 

EDWIN F. COREY, 
EDWIN F. COREY.Ja. 

HERRING'S TATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BUR- 
glar Proof Safe, with Hall's Patent Powder Proof Locks, 
afford the greatest security of any Safe in the world. Also, Sine 
board and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship and finish, lur 
Plate, &c. S. C. HERRING & CO., 

251 Broadway 



rVAN TINE, SHANGAE RESTAURANT, No. 2 DEY 
• street. New York. 



FALL ELECTION. 



^ &J.W. BARKER. GENERAL AUCTIONEERS* REAL 
p. ESTATE BROKERS. Loans negotiated. Houses and 
Stores Rented, stocks and Bonds Sold at Auction or Private Sale. 

Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private bouses. 
Office. 14 Pine street, undert'onimonwealth Bank. 

1ARLTON HOUSE 41>6 BROADWAY, NEW YORK 
" Bates and Holden, Proprietors. 

THEOPHILUS BATES. 

OREL J. HOLDEN. 



c 



GERARD UETTS & CO.. AUCTION AND COMMISSION 
Merchants, No. 106, Wall street, corner of Front street. New 
York. 



SAMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP A STEAMBOAT IU'1LDER\~- 
My Office is at No. 31 Cnrlears street, New York; and my yards, 
and residence are at Greenpolut. 1 have built -Ships and Steamer* 
for every portion of the G lube, for a long term of years, and eon 
tlnue to do s o on reasonable terms. SAMUEL SNEDEN 



FULLMER AND WOOD, CARRIAGE MANUFACTUR- 
ers. No. i39 West Nineteenth street, New York. 
Horse-shoeing done with dispatch, and in the most scientific 
manner, and on reasonable terms. 



State of New-Yohk, ) 

Office of the Secretary of State. > 

Albany, August 2, 1858. 1 
To the Sheriff of the County of New York: 
QIR—NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, THAT AT THE GE- 
n neral Election to be held In tliis state on the Tuesday succeed- 
ing the tirst Monday in November next, the following officers are 
to be elected, to wit: 

A lii>\ EK.voit, iii the place of John A, King; 

A Lieutenant Governor, in the place of Henrv R. Seldcn ; 
\ I 'anal Commissioner, in the place of Samuel B. Ruggles, ap- 
pointed in place of Samuel S. Whallon, deceased : 

An Inspector of State Prisons, in the place of William A. 
Russell; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of Decem- 
ber next. 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Third Congressional District, composed of the 
First, Second, Third, Fifth and Eighth Wards in the city of New 
York. 

A Representative In the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Fourth Congressional District, composed of the 
Fourth, Sixth, Tenth and Fourteenth Wards in the city of New 
fork : 

A Representative In the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Fifth Congressional "District, composed of the Sev- 
enth and Thirteenth Wards of the city ol New York, and the 
Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth and Sixteenth Wards of Brook- 
lyn- 

A Representative in the Thirty sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Sixth Congressional District, composed of the 
Eleventh, Fifteenth and Seventeenth Wards in the City uf New 
York ; 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Seventh Congressional District, composed of the 
Ninth, Sixteenth, and Twentieth Wards in the City of New 
York: 

And also, a Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the 
United States for the Eighth Congressional 'District, composed of 
the Twelfth, Eighteenth, Nineteenth. Twenty-first, and Twenty- 
second Wards in the City of New York. 

COUNTY OFFICERS ALSO TO BE ELECTED FOR SAID 
COUNTY. 

Seventeen Members of Assembly ; 

A Sheriff, in the place of James C. Willett ; 

A County Clerk, in the place of Richard B. Connolly ■ 

Four Coroners, in the place of Frederick W. Perry, Edward 
Connery, Robert Gamble and Samuel C. Hills ; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of December 
next. 

The attention of Inspectors of Election and County Canvassers 
is directed to Chapter 32U of Laws of 18o8, a copy of which is 
printed, for instructions in regard to their duties under said law. 
"submitting the question of calling a Convention to revise the 
Constitution and amend the same to the people of the Slate." 

Cuap. 320. 
AN ACT to submit the questiou ol calling a Convention to revise 
the Constitution and amend the same, to the People of the 
State : 

Passed April 17, 1S5S— three-fifths being present. 
The People of the Stale of New York, represented in Senate 
and Assembly, do enact as follows: 

Section 1. The Inspectors of Election in each town, ward, and 
election district in this State, at the annual election to be held in 
November next, shall provide a proper box to receive the ballots 
Of i he citizens of this State entitled to vote for members of the 
Legislature at such election. On such ballot shall be written or 
printed, or partly written and printed, by those voters who are in 
favor of a Convention, the words: " Shall there be a Convention 
to Revise the Constitution and amend the same? Y'es." And by 
those voters who are opposed thereto, the words: " Shall there be 
a Convention to Revise the Constitution ami amend the same ? 
No." And all citizens entitled to vote as aforesaid shall be allow- 
ed to vote by ballot as aforesaid, in the election district in which 
he resides, and not elsewhere. 

§•2. So much of the articles one, two and three, of title four, of 
chapter one hundred and thirty, of an act entitled "An act re- 
specting elections Other than for militia and town officer," passed 
April tilth, eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending 
the same, as regulates the manner of conducting elections and 
challenges, oaths to be administered, and inquiries to be made, of 

Eersons otiering to vote, shall be deemed applicable to the votes to 
e given or offered under the act : and the manner of voting and 
challenges, and the penalties for false swearing, prescribed bylaw, 
are hereby declared in full force and effect in voting or ottering to 
vote under this act. 

5 -2. The said votes given for and against a convention, in pursu- 
ance of this act, shall be canvassed by the Inspectors of the several 
election districts or pulls of the said election in the maimer pre- 
scribed by law, and as provided iu article four, of title four, of 
chapter one hundred and thirty of the said act, passed April fifth, 
eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending the same, 
as far as the same are applicable ; and such canvass shall be com- 
pleted by ascertaining the whole number of votes given in eacli 
election district or poll for a convention, and the whole number ot 
votes given against such convention, in the form aforesaid ; and 
the result being found, the inspectors shall make a statement in 
words, at full length, of the number of ballots received in relation 
to such convention, and shall also state in words, at full length, 
til e whole number of ballots having thereon the words, "Shah 
there be a Convention to revise the Constitution and amend the 
samel 1 No." Such statements as aforesaid shall contain a cap- 
tion, stating the day on which, and the number of the district, the 
town or ward, and the county at which the election was held, and 
at the end thereof a certificate that such .statement is correct in all 
respects, which certificate shall be subscribed by all the inspectors, 
and a true copy of such statement shall be immediately filed by 
them in the office of the clerk of the town or city. 

§4. The original statements, duly certified as aforesaid, shall be 
delivered by the inspectors, or one of them to be deputed for that 

Eurpose, to the supervisor, or, in case there be no supervisor, or 
e snail be disabled from attending the board of convassers, then 
to one of the assessors of the town or ward, within twenty-four 
hours after the same shall have been subscribed by such inspec- 
tors, to be disposed of as other statements at such election, are 
ih'w required by law. 

55. So much of articles first, second, third, and fourth, of title 
fifth, of chapter one hundred and thirty, of the act entitled, "An 
act respecting elections other than for militia and town officers," 
and the acts amending the same, as regulates the duties of Coun- 
ty Canvassers and their proceedings, and the duty of County 
Clerks, and the Secretary or State, and the Board uf State Can- 
vassers, shall be applied to the canvassing and ascertaining the 
will of the people of this State in relation to the proposed con- 
vention ; and if it shall appear that a majority 01 the votes or 
ballots given in and returned as aforesaid are against a conven- 
tion, then the said canvassers are required to certify and declare 
that fact by a certificate, subscribed by them, and riled with the 
Secretary of State ; but if it shall appear by the said canvass that 
a ina|oritv of the ballots or votes given as aforesaid are for a con- 
vention, then thev shall by like certificates, to be filed as afore- 
said, declare that fact ; and the said Secretary shall communicate 
a copy of such certificate to both branches of the Legislature, 
at the ouening of the next session thereof. Yours, respectfully, 
GIDEON J. TUCKER, Secretary of State. 
Sheriff's Office, t 

New York., August 4, 1858. J 



The above is published pursuant to the notice ot the Secretary 
of State, and the requirements of the Statute in such case made 
and provided. 

JAMES C. WILLET, 

^^ Sheriff of the City and County of New York. 

JW^ All the public newspapers in the county will publish tne 
abo* i once in each week until the election, and then hand in their 
bills tm advertising the same, so that they may be laid before the 
Board of Supervisors, and passed for payment. See Revised 
Stat, vol, 1, chap. 6, title 3, article 2d, part 1st, page 140. 



FRANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL 
CLOTHING & FURNISHING WAREHOUSE, No. 70 
and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester streets. New York. 
i and elegant assortments of Youths'and Roys' Clothing. j2 

F. B. BALDWIN, 
w „ . J. O. BARNUM, g 

I*. B. BALDW IN has just opened his New and Immense Estan- 
Ushment. THE LARGEST IN THE CITY! An entire New 
Stock ol GENTLEMEN'S, YOUTH'S and CHILDREN'S 
< LorillNG. recently manufactured by the best workmen in the 
city, is now openedfor Inspection. Also, a superior stock of FUR- 
NISHING GOODS. All articles are of the Best Quality, and hav- 
ing been purchased during the crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERY 
LOW! The Custom Department contains the greatest variety of 
CLOTIIS.CARSIMERES, and VESTINGS. 

Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BARNUM, 
who has bad great experience in the business, having beeu thirty 
years connected with the leading Clothing Establishments of the 
city. 



JAMES DONNELLY'S COAL YARD-TWENTY-SIXTH 
street and Second Avenue. 1 always have all kinds of coal 
on hand, and of the very best quality, which 1 will sell as low as 
any other coal dealer in the United States. 
_^ JAMES DONNELLY.g 



WILLIAM COULTER, CARPENTER.— I HAVE LONG 
been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who will 
favor me with their patronage, that I will build as good houses, or 
anything else in my line, as any other carpenter in the city of New 
York. I will also be as reasonable in charges for my work as 
any other person. 

WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter, 
Rear of -2U>East Twentieth street, New York. 



W 



W. OSBORN MERCHANT TAILOR, 9 CHAMBER 
• street, near Chatham street, New York. 



SANTE MENTO.-No. 29 ATTORNEY STREET, NEAR 
Grand, has a superior assortment of Cloths, Cassimerea. and 
"■stings, made to order in the most fashionable and approved Pa- 
risian si vies, and at short notice. Let gentlemen call and patronize 
me, and I will do my utmost to pleasemy customers. 

I^IULTON IRON WORKS.-JAMES MURPHY & CO., 
1 Manufacturers of Marine and Land Engines. Boilers, &c. 
Itod a n d Brass Castings . Foot of Cherry Street, East River. 



a 



OBERT ONDERDONK. — THIRTEENTH WARD 
Hotel, 405 and 407 Grand street, corner of Clinton street, 



WILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR & OFFICE FURN1- 
ture Dealer and Manufacturer, No. 289 Broadway, corner 
of Read street, New York, Room No. 15. 

FASHION HOUSE-JOSEPH HYDE PROPRIETOR, 
corner Grand and Essex street. Wines, Liquors, and Cigars 
of the best brands. He invites his friends to give him a call. 
Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons. 

WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSEL- 
lorat Law, No. 176 Chatham street. New York. Any btui- 
i ntrusted to his charge from citizens of this city or any part 

of the country, will receive prompt and faithful attention, and be 
conducted on reasonable terms. 

WILLIAM A. CONKLIN. 



GEO. KNAPP & CO., WHOLESALE AND RETAIL 
Dealers in Butter, Cheese, Eggs, Poultry and country produce, 
No. — Clinton Market, opposite Page's Hotel, New York. 

GEO. KNAPP. 
. H.D.ALBERS. 



H JONES & HOFF, whose place of business is in frunt of the 
« Astor House, keep all the latest publications of the day. In- 
cluding all the Daily' and Weekly Newspapers. The public patron- 
age is most respectfully solicited. 



EDMUND FOWLER, CARPENTER AND BUILDER 
No.74Reade street, near Broadway, New York. 
N. B. — All kinds ot .lobbing done at short notice. 



BOWERY NEWS DEPOT, NO. 177 BOWERY.— CON 
stautly on hand. Dally, Sunday, and Weekly Papers, Monthly 
Maga/.ines, Play Books. Stationary, Ac, Ac. English Papers per 
Steamers. All orders punctually attended to. 

BENNET & CARROLL. 



AMERICAN GLASS COMPANY, MANUFACTURE AND 
keep constantly on hand at their Warehouse. Plain. Moulded, 
and Cut Flint Glassware, in all Its varieties. Also Druggists' and 
Perfumers' Ware ot all Kinds. Wholesale Warehouses, No. 163 
Pearl street. New York, and No. 51 Kllhy street, Boston. (Facto- 
ries at South Boston.) D. Bun-ill & Co., Agents, New York. 



J NO. WARD, JR., REAL ESTATE AGENT. OFFICES 
No. 5 Tryon Row, corner Chatham m reel, (opbrndte the Parkj 
New York, and 4th Avenue, near 12Slli street. Harlem. 



PC. GODFREY. STATIONER, BOOKSELLER. AND 
• General News dealer. No. S31 Broadway, New York, near 
13th street. 



AUGUST BRENTANO.CORNEROF HOUSTON STREET 
and Broadway, has all the latest Publications, and receives 
all the Foreign Papers by every steamer. He also hantnv iia^fc 
numbers of almost every paper published, includiug Branch'* 
"Alligator." 



c 



LINTON LUNCH, OYSTER AND DINING SALOON. 
No. 19 Beekman street. The best uf Liuuura ami C'igiu-ii. 
GEO. W. WARNER. 
SAMUEL M. .MILLER. 



I) 



AVID WILLIAMS, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR 
at Law, No. 16 Centre street. New York. 

JW. MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE AND 
# Retail dealers in all kinds of Chairs, Wash stands. Settee^, 
Ac, No. 877 and 379 Pearl street. New York. 
Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping. 



BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN REAL 
Estate, Houses and Stores and Lot,-, for sale in all puna 
of the City. Office at the junction of Broadway, Seventh 
avenue, and Forty -sixth street. 




Volume I.— No. 23. 



SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 1858. 



Price 2 Cents. 



Early Boyhood and its Merry Pastimes. 

I remember the woman's echoo! at four years old, and the mer- 
ited chastisement of the school mann ; my desperate descent on 
the sugar bowl ; tha military company of which I was command- 
er ; my annual cries In the trundle bed at 13 o'clock and one sec- 
ond, A. M.: •'! wish you merry Christmas, Ma, — I wish you 
happy New Year, Pa, — now gim me cent:" with my father's: 
'* Go to sleep, you young rascal, or I'll come and Bpank you ;" the 
two cents I always got on the 4th of July, If I had been a gcod 
boy, and the solitary penny If I hadn't ; the death of my mother 
of twins ; the copious tears of my father and Aunt Lucy ; my 
grief at her sudden demise ; the country boarding school, and the 
blast of lightning that felled me to the earth, while whittling on 
the summer green ; my eyes soon open on the glories of the lurid 
universe, and I scamper into the pretty cottage, and bound into 
the arms of my aunt, who nearly smothers me with affectionate 
embraces ; the storm passes ; a bow appears, with crimson arrows, 
and lingers on the concave's rosy verge, till Venus gleams through 
the twilight leaves, when lta gorgeous hues are vailed by the re- 
volving spheres, and it descends the dazzling west. 

Whose Archer follows the resplendent sun. 
Before whose darts the stormy Furies run ; 

the moon ascends the east in matchless splendor, and roams in 
tranquil beauty through Infinitude, spreading Its Bnowy light on 
vale and mead, that vie with lakes of liquid silver ; my aunt lin- 
gers at my bed, while I say my evening prayer, and invests my 
heart with sacred feelings ; myself and brother William, on our 
way to school, through a dreary wood, espy a boy in a wagon, 
when I exclaim : " Why, Bill, there's our brother Albert ;" Bill 
stares and says: "Steve, your perceptions are very foggy, and I 
begin to think you aint got good senBe ;" I cloBely scan the boy, 
and smile, but elicit no response, the little rogue riveting his bright 
blue eyes on the vacant air ; Bill passes on to school, with : 
"Steve, you are raving mad, and I'm going to tell Aunt Freeman 
so ;" when I address the Btranger thus : " Little boy, you look like 
my brother Albert, and thbi horse and wagon resemble ours, and 
won't you please to tell me If you aint my brother Al, who Uvea 
far away from here, in a place called Providence ? I always dearly 
loved him, and I havn't seen him for a long time now, and I would 
like to see him very much ; come, now, little boy, aint yon Ally 
Branch, and If you are, won't you please to tell me so ?" Tears 
roll down his pale cheeks, followed by the sweetest smiics, (like 
simultaneous rain and sunshine,) extending bis arms, with : " How 
do you do, dear brother Stevy ;" I scream ; dart Into the wagon, 
and, placing my arms around his neck, fondly kiss him. And then 
I made the woods ring with my cries for Bill to return, and be- 
hold our dear brother, found so mysteriously alone In the forest 
wild. BUI slowly returns ; and I hear the echo of a laugh, and see 
a man emerge from the monarch oaks, whom I discern as father, 
whose playful stratagem blazes brightly before my enraptured 
vision. And with the velocity of light, I spring from the wagon, 
and at a bound, am in the embraces of my adored father. The 
vail slowly passes from the eyes of Bill, who stands like a statue 
in the dim perspective, crying lustily over my triumphant con- 
quest. We all shout and wave our hands, and Willie bounds Into 
Albert's and father's arms, whose fervent kisses soon dispel his 
tears; when his crescent and revolving eyes gently threaten to 
eclipse the sun and moon with hilarious splendor; three happy 
brothers then rock the forest solitude with merry vociferations, 
and ran like deer, and sing like Infant Jubals, with sweet re- 
sponses from congenial birds, prancing on the oaks* majestic 
branches. And with hearts of gladness, we spring like hoands 
into the wagon, and return to Aunt Freeman's, and that I regard 
as ono of the happiest days of my early boyhood. On the follow- 
ing morn, we leave for Providence, which I scarcely reach, ere our 
yard la a camp of boys, eager to embrace their favorite command- 
er, after his long captivity in the desert wilds of Woodstock ; my- 
self and Albert soon go to another country school ; we board with 



a minister who has a large family, and a small salary, which was 
tardily and scantily paid with very poor provisions ; myself and 
Al don't like the fare ; has fried pork too often for breakfast, and 
pork and beans for dinner, with a cold cut of pork and beans at 
nightfall ; and we enter our solemn protest against so much fried 
hog, and so many baked beans ; we protest, too, against his not 
fastening the doors and windows nights, as father does at home ; 
we hear strange noises nights, while abed ; and respectfully Im- 
plore him to put locks on the doors, and nails In the windows, who 
refuses, and Bays, that good boys are never afraid of robbers or as- 
sassins ; we still hear dreadful sounds at midnight ; and busy our- 
selves, head and all, in the bed clothes ; sweat terribly, and nearly 
smother ; grow pale ; lose flesh ; get very weak ; have cold night 
sweats; finally despair, and threaten to leave for home; write 
long letters to father, full of bad writing and spelling, who doesn't 
answer them, because he can't read them ; we start for Provid- 
ence; our sacred host pursues us on a cadeverous horse, whose ribs 
rattle, and captures us in the haunted woods, where, In old tlmes,a 
man was murdered, and two lovers hung themselves, because their 
parents wouldn't let them marry' ; I and Al were hurrying through 
this dreadful wood, when old cadeverous and the parson pounce 
upon us, who threatens to whip ua if we don't return, and cuts a 
switch for the purpose ; his eyes roll terribly, and, as I once heard 
he was slightly Insane at times, and/ fearing he might murder me, 
I gave the wink to Al, and we concluded to return, very gently 
shaking our heads and fists, with threats of telling our father all 
about it some day, who was a Justice of the Peace, and could lock 
up any body, and have them hung beside ; to silence our unceasing 
clamors, the parson gets some cheap second-hand locks, and rusty 
nails, fastens the doors and windows nights, aud gives us fried liv- 
er twice a week for breakfast, and lets pork and beans slide awhile, 
with very tender veal instead ; don't hear strange Bounds at night 
any more ; sleep very soundly ; don't hear the cheerless midnight 
winds as of yore ; get fat as butter ; are very contented ; Fourth 
uf July clone at hand ; father comes after us ; shed tears of joy, 
and run and jump like wild cats, and get home alive once more 
from a country boarding school ; go to a party on the night of our 
arrival ; Oscar Rivulet and Clara Violet are there ; at the party's 
close, I can't find my hat, and while In its vigorous pursuit, Oscar 
takes the arm of Clara, wheu I step up and whisper In his ear, that 
I will chastise him the very next day for cutting me out ; Oscar 
and Clam depart ; I find my hat In the oven, where Oscar doubt- 
less put it, and begin to cry with rage ; to console me, my aunt 
places the arm of Flora Rosebud In mine, who was a dashing little 
belle, with whom I slowly ramble towards her home beneath a 
brilliant sky ; soon after I bid Flora good night, at her father's 
door, a dark cloud rapidly arose and obscured the moon, and I be- 
came afraid, and ran fleetly home, expecting to meet an assassin at 
every corner's turn, but when I heard the cheerful watchman's cry 
of "half-past eight o'clock, and all's well," and beheld his noble 
form In the distance, my fears are tranquilixed, and I walk as erect 
and firm as the hero of many battles, and loudly boast of my cour- 
age, after I get snugly In the trundle bed with Albert, the shield of 
my fathers voice above me, to fortify my pretended valor. On the 
following day, my step-mother struck me on Che head with a 
Jacket with bras* buttons, for my Impudence at diner In my fath 
er's absence, because the wouldn't give me more boiled onions, of 
which I was very fond ; the blood flowed freely, and Bhe was ter- 
rified lest I would bleed to death, and she be hung ; she dressed 
the wounds most tenderly, and gave me plenty of onions and sugar, 
and warmly coaxed me not to tell father when he came to tea, 
lest he would gently chide her for her laceration of the skull of the 
prolific brain of the darling son who bora bis own father's promis- 
ing name of Stephen ; and for many days she gave me candy and 
peanuts, and gave me so many onions that I have loathed them 
since ; she even poulticed my lacerated head with boiled onions, 
which I smell to this day ; I had the tar -ache, and she even put a 
small roast onion in my ear to check the pain ; I once passed 
through Weathersfleld, (where onions are as thick as leaves in the 
Yale of Vallambroaa,) whose atmosphere caused me to fertilize ltd 



streets with bile ; my step-mother finally stops my supplies of 
sweetmeats, and I threaten to tell my father of her violent blow, 
and show him my scars, when she surrendered, and gave me sweet 
things for a long period ; and she saved me many a whipping from 
my father, when I was mischievous, lest I would tell and show th» 
relics of her tronacing, which gave me a boundless latitude for 
pranks until the scars all passed away ; at this time, my dog Watch 
was drowned, but he rose the ninth day, and I buried him at the 
foot of my father's garden, with funeral honors, a neighboring dog. 
In traces, bearing his precious body to the grave, over which I placed 
turf and Btones in memory of a dog I dearly loved ; after the fu- 
neral, Cornelius Snow, nicknamed Flop, called me names, end I 
told my father that " Flop Snow had called me names, and I meant 
to lick him for It," when my father effected a reconciliation, by al- 
lowing Cornelius to call me Steve as long as I called him Flop. 
He had long been at the head of my class, at school, and I had ne- 
ver been at the head, which mortified my father, who told me If I 
would get above Flop through good spelling, he would give me a 
sixpence ; I tried king and hard, but I couldn't do It ; so, on a very 
stormy day, while myself and Flop were the only boys of our 
spelling class at school, I told him that If he would make a mis- 
take in spelling, and let me keep at the head until school was over, 
I would give him three cents ; Flop consented, and broke down 
on beef, which he spelled tht-a-p-h-f-e, for which the teacher boxed 
his ears, and made him see ten thousand sparkling stars ; I got 
sixpence from my father, and gave Flop half of it ; there was a full 
class the next day, and down I went to the foot, my usual place ; 
my father learned of my collusion with Flop, and gave me a tremen- 
dous whipping ; the next day I went several miles down Provi- 
dence river, in a canoe with Eliae Smith and Joseph Fuller, and 
was gone four days, and all the town was terribly excited lest we 
were lost ; but Mr. Proud, a neighbor, of whose peaches and melons 
I was very fond, stuck to it like beeswax, that I would never bo 
drowned, while hemp grew In Kentucky ; the day after my return, 
my step-mother whips Albert for stealing a small lump of sugar, at 
about 11, A. M. ; father usually came to dinner at 13, M. ; Ally 
cried for a long time ; but he began to lull, and I was afraid he 
wouldn't hold out until father got home ; so, I got Ally down cel- 
lar, and pinched him, and pulled bin hair, to make him keep it np, 
untl father got home ; it being near twelve o'clock, and my step- 
mother knowing my Influence over Ally, told me If I would pacify 
him before father came to dinner, she would give me as much su- 
gar as I wanted for a whole week ; I accepted the bribe,— but Al 
overheard us, and declared that he would cry like thander, until 
father came, If I didn't give him half the sugar ; we Anally com- 
promised, by allowing Ally a quarter of all the lumps I got ; a few 
days after, while returning from a Saturday excursion down the 
river, my brother Bill cut up so, that the boat capsized, in very 
deep water, a short distance from the shore ; Jim Baker and my- 
self got on the bottom of the boat, while Bill's feet and head were 
entangled In the ropes and sail ; Sam Thurber and others swam to 
the shore ; Jim Baker and myself couldn't swim, and we expected 
to be lost ; and we bellowed murder like fury ; amid this awful 
scene, the owner of the boat came down the Bhore, and cried t 
" Pay for that boat, you rascals, pay for that boat ;" he had scarce- 
ly breathed these brutal words, when down went Jim Baker and 
myself to the river's bed ; I rose to the surface first, and went 
down again, when Jim grabbed my leg, and we came up together, 
and a noble sailor seized and bore us to the shore, where we were 
put In barrels, and pints of water squeezed out of us ; Jim and my- 
self open our dewy eyes, shake hands, and walk home arm In arm, 
with the sailor behind, thrashing the boat proprietor for demand- 
ing pay, instead of coming to our rescue, whose unparalleleb Inhu- 
manity the gallant tar couldn't tolerate. I went to bed, and had a 
horrid night-mare, and dreamed of sharks and whales. On the 
day after the boat calamity of Jim Baker and myself on Prort- ' 
dence river, I arose with the glorious sun, ate a spare repast, and 
went to school. My Btomach yet complained of salt water, and 
my head and books were at rapiers* points. The teacher, Shaw 
vainly elides me for my indolence, and summons me before bint, 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR. 



and demands my spelling-tw.ok, and gives me genuine, which I 
spell " gen-ner-winc." The school Is convulsed In the. wilib.-t 
screams. Shaw seizes his lignumvitw ruler, darts through the 
aisles, rolls his big gray eyes, and hangs the desks until the dust 
rises Into clouds, when the mirthful tumult is hushed Into the 
silence of a tomb, and he bids me take my seat, with furious cuffs 
of both ears. My brother Bill had been snickering in his hat, and 
aleeve, ami handkerchief, uutil he had saturated them all with his 
hilarious tears, and, as I passed him ou my way to my seat, he 
burst into a genuine Branch laugh, and all again was chaw. The 
scholars were more uproarious than before, and Shaw rages furi- 
ously, and calls up Bill, when all Is silent terror, and every eye Is 
riveted on Its book. Shaw demands Bill to extend his right hand, 
which he declines to do, because he has a felon, and tender warts 
all over Ids knuckles. Shaw then commands him to hold up his 
left hand, and BLU obeys, when Shaw's eyes flash sparks of Are, his 
checks are deathly pale, and his ferule descends with tremendous 

violence . . 

On the vacant air. 

As Bill's hand wan't there! 

The scholars roar again, and clap their little hands, and stamp 
their feet In the wildest ecstacy, when Shaw bellows like a rabid 
bull, and gesticulates fatality to the rebellious scholars, whose eyes 
fall quickly on their books, and all violently move their pallid 
lips, with pretense of study, while a terrible revenge rankles in 
their hearts, for flhaw's cruel treatment of BUI, whe has bo many 
warts and a felon, with salt water stitl gurgling In his ocean belly. 
At Shaw's wrathful behest. Bill again raises his trembling hand, 
and keeps his eye fastened on Shaw's ; and as the ruler nears his 
palm, he dodges, when Shaw tiles to his scholastic throne for his 
cow-skin, and descends his ramparts with the pomposity of a king, 
calmly surveying his juvenile and affrighted subjects, and directs 
BUI to remove his Jacket, who firmly declines. Shaw seizes him, 
and Bill cries murder ; the girls weep and faint, and water is 
sprinkled on their cheeks and foreheads ; the boys shake their 
fists, and dan- each other to rush to Bill's rescue, but Shaw threat- 
ens them with utter annihilation if they Interfere, and the belli 
gerent and affrighted boys leave poor Bill to his unhappy fate.— 
Fortunately for Bill, Shaw is Bhort, and of very slender mould 
Bill Is stout, knows well the physical weakness of his adversary, 
and proves himself fully equal to the awful crisis before him. For, 
while Shaw Btrives to get Bill across his knees to switch and spank 
him, Bill, by a sudden and very elastic movement, gets between, 
and coils himself, like a snake, around Shaw's legs, aud pinches, 
and bites, and tears his pants, and finally trips him, and down they 
go, with Bill on Shaw, and with both hands so firmly and desper- 
ately clenched in Shaw's white cravat, as to make his tongue pro- 
trude. The girls faintly titter, while the stoutest and bravest boyfl 
bang their desks, and wildly shout with joy. The panting com- 
batants spring to the floor, and, like two roosters, have a moment's 
respite ; Shaw is pale, and trembles with shame, and relents, and 
In feeble and broken accents, directs Bill to take his seat ; the si- 
lence of a Capulet pervades the school, when my tremendous 
horse laugh breaks the calm ; the scholars scream again with fran- 
tic contortions ; Shaw's eyes roll like a demon's, and his voice rises 
high above the universal clamor, which slowly subsides, and all is 
still again ; Shaw then comes on tiptoe to my desk, and grabs Mad 
drags me to the aisle, with one hand clutched In my throat, and 
the other in my long hair, when I grab him in a tender spot, and 
make him squeal ; and so severe and unrelenting is my grasp, that 
he gladly gives freedom to my throat and hair, and implores, in 
tones of excruciating agony, to release my hands. I slowly do so, 
when he re-seizes me, and, dragging me several feet by my hair, 
kicks away the scuttle, and casts me headlong beneath the school, 
house, closing the scuttle over me ; I can hardly sit upright In my 
new abode ; all is darkness ; I smell the awful perfume of a dead 
skunk; little mice squeal, and run over me, and nibble at my 
mouth and nose, and big aud hungry rats approach, and violently 
attack me, which 1 keep at bay with my feet and hands, and hide- 
ous yells, and they finally scamper to their holes, while a myriad 
of mice remain to torment me ; I chew tobacco, to drowu my ab- 
ject sorrow ; it is the first cud that ever graced my mouth ; Icover 
it with the fragment of a newspaper, to prevent my giddy ehllira- 
tten through a too strong taste of tobacco ; I soon got deathly sick, 
and thump and scream for Shaw to let me out, who heeds not my 
plteouscries; I am desperate, and resting my hands and feet on 
the ground, I get an irresistible purchase, and with a might y 
movement of my back, I burst the scuttle with a tremendous 
crash, and dart from my narrow and dreary cavern into the school- 
room, and run down the aisle, vomiting at every ste p ; the scholars 
are nearly gone ; as I approach the door, Shaw grabs me, when 1 
belch the purest bile plump in his face, which, of course, was pure- 
ly accidental ; Shaw is blinded with tobacco bile, and wipes his 
cheeks, and nose, and mouth, and eyes, and commands me to goto 
bis desk; I refuse ; he then expostulates, and breatheskind words, 
which allay my anger, and check the flow of tobacco aud salt wa- 
ter bile ; I go to his desk ; he dismisses the few scholars that re- 
main, save my weeping brother Bill, curled in the corner : Shaw 
laments the sad occurrence; hopes we will be better boys, aud 
permits us to go home ; on our arrival, father is at tea, listening to 
brother Albert's version of the story; Bill and myself seat our- 
Bfilves at table, when father directs each to give his melancholy 
narrative; Bill La hungry, and slowly begins, and lacks vivacity, 
and the impatient father turns to me for the rapid and vivid anal- 
ysis of the horrid scholastic anarchy and rencontre then flying on 
exaggeration's wide-spread wings, and distracting the peaceful 
BrWMfq of Providence; I swallow the delicious food already in 
my mouth ; cleanse my throat with a prolonged swallow of com- 
mingled tea and sugar, and tell my stoay in a nervous strain ; my 
father's eyes are large, and fixed on mine, throughout my exciting 
narrative, at whose close, he gets his hat and cane and autumnal 
mantle, and bids myself and BUI to follow him ; we penetrate the 



pitchy darkness, and after varied street meanderings in the turbu- 
lent and piercing evening winds, we ascend the steps, and tap at 
thu door of Shaw ; we enter his pale presence, who is extremely 
lUrtOOUS to father, who is a member of the Visitiug School Com 
inlttee, and Invested with power of a teacher's dismissal, which 
Shaw now fears; father opens his deadly batteries, and Shaw, per- 
ceiving no possible escape, pleads extenuation fur the violent tem- 
per that nature gave him ; spoke of William as a very good and 
studious boy, fa truth.) and of Stephen as a meritorious and en- 
thusiastic youth, who dearly loved his l>ooks, (a lie.) and deeply 
regretted that his heated passion led him to the chastisement of 
William, and the incarceration of Stephen ; and declared In tones 
of warm slucerity, that if father would forgive him, he would ne- 
ver whip nor tmprison us again, but lead us up the hill of science 
through gentle and persuasive means; father pities and admires 
bis humility, and, rising to depart, directs Shaw to Inform him 
every Friday by letter, how many days William and Stephen have 
played the truant during the week, and with what facility we re- 
cite our lessons, and what our general conduct is ; Shaw's eyes 
flash joy at these delightful and magnanimous behests, whllo the 
eyes of Bill and myself flash guilt and fury at Shaw's apparent 
conquest, because all our future sport is spoiled, and mine, especi- 
ally, as I played truant about twice a week, and Bill once a 
month; and because I seldom got my lessons well; Shaw and fath- 
er extend their hands, and shake a warm good night: and while 
they linger at the outer door In friendly conversation, I slyly 
crawl through father's legs, to get into the street as soon as pos- 
sible, and away from Shaw's victorious presence ; the last shake 
of hands transpire between father and Shaw, who slowly closes 
the door with a beatific smile ; father, myself, and Bill muffle our- 
selves In our fervent garments ; It snows and blows very hard ; 
and, as we walk slowly homeward against the snow and wind, 
father delivers an affectionate and mournful lecture, gently eluding 
us for the trouble we had caused him, and the rapid Increase of his 
snowy locks ; kindly warning us that we were constantly exposed 
to the sad fate of orphans, our tender mother being already gone 
forever ; and with a trembling voice implored us to be good boys, 
to study hard, to be kind and obedient to Mr. Shaw, to cultivate 
manly virtues, and strive to become intellectual giants, and the 
pillars of our country. In peace or war, after the fathers of his gen- 
eration had passed from the field of action. We both wept bitter- 
ly, and besought our dear and indulgent father to forgive the past, 
with assurances Of our efforts to please him and our teacher in the 
future. We reach home, and father kindles a crackling, hickory 
Are, and gives us cider and walnuts, and tells us pretty stories, and 
puts on extra \md clothes, because the night is so piercing cold, and 
tucks our bed at the sides, to keep out the biting air, and then di- 
rects us to clasp and raise our little hands to God, and say after him 
our evening prayer of 

"Now I lay me down to sleep, 
I pray the Lord my soul to keep, 
If I should die before I wake, 
I pray the Lord my soul to take ;"* 

and then gives us a parting kiss, and pats our little foreheads, aud 
breathes sweet tones of affection until he passes from our view, 
Bill and myself make good resolves for the future, and breathe a 
fond "good night!" and then embrace the tranquil slumber and 
Innocent dreams of early boyhood. 



Office— 114 Nassau Street 

THE A^SaTOII^ 

New York, Saturday, September 25, 1858. 



the oppressed of all lands no asylum of liberty 
and prosperity. In the sacred bosom of her 
family, woman is like the queen of night amid 
the pretty stars. In our infant years, she nour- 
ishes, and shields, and cheers us in our preca- 
rious journey to maturer years. She imparts 
the first kiss, aud moulds the first prayer, and 
is prouder of her offspring than a queen of her 
throne. As the child buds, and blooms, and 
blossoms, and ascends the hill of moral and 
scholastic science, she watches every pace with 
breathless solicitude. And in penury or afflu- 
ence, in bondage or freedom, in power or on 
the scaffold, she clings with intense affection to 
the adored objects of her creation. Every fam- 
ily is a dominion. The father is a king, and 
the mother a queen, and the children their sub- 
jects. The same laws govern a family as a 
kingdom. Judicious penalties follow disobe- 
dience, and a good mother imbues the heart 
and mind of her offspring with humanity and 
wisdom that govern the world. And over all 
presides a Being of beneficence and ubiquity, 
who wields the destinies of a Universe. Wo- 
man, under God, is the source of all that cheers 
and ennobles man in his weary pilgrimage 
from the cradle to the grave, and to her sym- 
pathies am I greatly indebted for my recent 
liberation from captivity and the partial resur- 
rection of my declining fortunes. God bless 
her, then, and in my sacred orisons and solilo- 
quies, on land or ocean, I will ever cherish her 
with those grateful emotions that I inherited 
from the genial heart of my departed mother. 



The Alligator Lives for Another Week. 

The Ladies have saved the Alligator for 
six days more, in which God made the gorgeous 
realms of infinitude ! Last week, I proclaimed 
that unless advance subscribers or patriots came 
to the rescue of the wounded and bleeding Al- 
ligator, he must soon expire amid the tumul- 
tuous exultations of his prescriptive adversaries. 
The gentlemen responded in companies, but 
the ladies in battalions, and soothed and rescued 
the poor Alligator from the jaws of immedi- 
ate death.* Without the sympathy of woman, 
man soon droops, and totters, and expires. 
Woman is the prolific source of all that glori- 
fies the cottages, and mansions, and palaces of 
the globe. And her benevolence ameliorates 
the poor, and oppressed, and disconsolate in 
every region of the earth. From Eve to Mary, 
the mother of Washington, the history of wo- 
man is a brilliant constellation. Without the 
pure and patriotic Mary, there would have been 
no Washington,— and without Washington, 
the Americans would have had no country, and 



* If Uie Alligatob dies, advance subscriptions will immediate 
ly be returned to my generous patrons, with my fervent wishes for 
their proapenty. 

William Macrae is the only person author- 
ised to collect subscriptions for the "Alliga- 
tor." And here is his likeness, that when he 
calls to solicit subscribers, all may know him by 
a comparison of this accurate engraving with 
his living face. My Office is at No. 114 Nassau 
street, second story, front room, where advance 
subscriptions will also be most gratefully re- 
ceived. 

Stephen H. Branch. 




The tomb of Franklin— if a palm flag-stone with the earth can 
be so called—is concealed from the public view by a venerable 
brick wall at the comer of Rah and Mulberry streets, Philadel- 
phia. The remains of the lightning philosopher are deposited 
there in the old burial ground belonging to Christ Ohurch. An 
appropriate monument has been accidentally reared above them. 
in the shape of a telegraphic poat, and the lightning is at constant 
play over, if not under the eye of the man who r 
to the earth. 



first chained ft 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR 



Stephen and his Adult Pupil. 

THE FlliST LESSON. 

Stephen.— What do you firet wish to learu ? 
Pupil.— I desire first to review my figures. 
8.— How far have you cyphered? 

/\_I went through the hook several times, when I was a boy. 
S.— Whose Arithmetic did you study? 
P.— Mr. Dollbay'fl. 
8.— DaboU's, I suppose, you meau. 

P.— Ah, yes, it was Daboli's; and I remember him very well 
He was a fine man, and understood figures very well. 
S._Then you went through his hook several tunes ? 
P.—O yea, I can take my oath of that. 
8. — How tmich Is twice nothing? 
P.— That is two, of course. 
S.— How much is nothiug times two ? 
P.— That is two. 

S.— How much is one-half times one ? 
P.— One. 

6*.— How much is four and a-half times four and a -half ? 
P. (scratching his head)— That must be about thirteen. 
fl._ How much Is three-quarters times five-eights? 
P.— I never saw that in Daboll, and to be candid, Mr. Branch, I 
1 have long been accustomed to rush of blood to the head, and I 
had a slight rush just now, and I guess I won't go any farther In 
figures to-day ; but I would like to renew my Grammar studies. 
£._Yery well : whose Grammar did you study In boyhood? 
P.— Mr. Murphy's. 

S.—l presume you mean Llndley Murray's ? 
P.— Ah, yes, it was Murray's, aud he once dined at my father's. 
S.— As it is absolutely essential to understand spelling, before 
Grammar, 1 will first examine you In a few words, hefere wo em 
bark in Grammar. Can you spell well, sir ? 

P.— Yes ; and I hope you don't mean to insult me with such a 
question. 
8.— Certainly not. Spell Grammar ? 
P.— Gramer. 
S.— No. 
P. — Gramar. 
&'.-N». 

P._How do yau spell it. then? 
S. — Grammar. 

P.— That's the way I spelt it. 
5.— No, air. 

P.— If I didd't, I intended to. 
8.— That may be. Spell sloop ? 
P.— Slupe. 
S.-No. 

P.— That's the way old Captain Tallman spelt it, when I was a 
boy. 
S.— It is 6pelt sloop in these days. 
P.— Ah, yes, that's correct, I remember. 
8.— Spell dough ? 
P.— Doe. 
S.— No. 

p._My grandmother used to spell It so. 
S.—li is spelt dough. 
S.-SkU God ? 
P — Gorde. 
8.— No. 

P. (is silent for some seconds, and grows pale, and sweats pro- 
fusely)— Merciful Heaven \ And do you say Gorde is incorrect 
S.—I do. It is spelt God. 

p._Ab, yes, I was mistaken. That's the way I have always 
epelt it . 
8.— Spell scholar? 
P.— Skoller, 
S.— N 0. 
P.— Skollar. 
S.— No, 

P.— That's the way I always spelt it, and I'll bet a dollar that's 
the way to spell it. 
S,_ That's a bet. 
P.— How shall we decide it ? 
fi.— Have you got a dictionary? 

P.— Yes. (Examines it.) "Well, I declare, you have won the dol- 
lar. What a curious way to spell scholar, to put ch for k\ Mr. 
Branch : who invented language ? 
S.— The Egyptians. 

P.— What old fools they must hava been? 
S.— Those Egyptians who discovered the alphabet, were the 
wisest linguists of the human race. And those Arabians who dis- 
covered the digits, were the profoundest mathematicians. And, 
as you can neither spell nor cypher well, I advise you to defer your 
arithmetic and grammar lessons until you learn orthography. 

P.— I don t know what you mean by linguist, nor by digits. 
And what op earth do you meau by orthography ? 
S. — Orthography means spelling. 

P,— Ah, yes, I thought that was it. Now, Mr. Braneh, I am in 
public life, as you know, and I am very anxious to make a good 
speech and write a good letter ; and, in order to do that, I must 
understand Grammar. And I think I can spell well enough to 
Study Grammar, Mr. Branch. You have only examined me in a 
few words, and because I slightly broke down on them, you must 
not suppnse that I ccn't spell well enough to study Grammar 
Just try me in a few more words. 

S.— Spell alderman ? 
HP— Oldermon. 



S.-No. 

P._011dermone. 
c/.-No. 

P.— How, then? 
S — Alderman. 

P.— Ah, yes, That's the way I was just agoing to spell It. 
S.— Spell Common Council ? 
P.— Komou Kounsil. 
g — > T o, sir. It is spelt Common Council, 
p.— Is it possible? 

S,_Yes. And now spell municipal ? 

p._Dam if I don't give that np ; for, although I have been a 
member of the municiple government, I nover could spell that 
awful word without looking at the dictionary two or three times ; 
and it always took me a mighty long time to find municiple, even 
In the dictionary. Now, do try mo on some easier word than that, 
—won't you, Mr. Branch? 
S.— Spell Mayor? 
P.— Mare. 
8.— No. 

P.— How, then ? 
8.— Mayor. 

P.— Ah, yea,— I forgot. That's It exactly. 
8.— Spell contracts ? 

P._I can spell that fast enough. Kontrax. 
5.— No, 

P.— Kontraclts. 
8.— No. It Is spelt contracts. 

/>_ I begin to think my memory Is getting bad, for I once could 

spell all these words. And I have had 60 many contracts from the 
Corporation, and have written that word so often, that I am sure 
I used to spell it correctly. Now give me one more easy word, 
aud if I break down, dam if I don't surrender. 
8.— Spell Cable? 

P.— I have got a few shares in that precious stock, and Til bet $5 
I can spell it correctly. 
8.—- Done. 
P.— Kabell. 

8.— No. It is spelt cable. 

P.— There's a V. And now, although I havo spelt several words 
Incorrectly, yet, as I am growing old, I desire to learn as fast as 
possible ; and I want you to give me grammar lessons and teach 
me spelling at the same time. And if you will learn me very fast, 
I will let you have one share In the Atlantic Cable, for your in 
st ructions. 

S._I would rather have the cash, as I caneot believe that a cord 
about the circumference of my thumb can permanently connect 
the hemispheres. 

p._Vcry well, sir. I have perfect confidence In the Cable en- 
terprise, and I don't care about parting with my stock. So I will 
pay you In cash for your tuition. Now pleasa give me a lesson In 
grammar. 

tf.— Well, I will strive to gratify you,— although I again assure 
you, that orthography is the basi3 of grammar, and we shall en- 
counter ruiuous obstacles In the construction of the grammatical 
pyramid, In the absence of orthography and orthcepy. 
P._For the land's sake, what is the meaning of the last word ? 
8. — Orthcepy means pronunciation, 

p,—Row queer your jaw opens and closes, when you pronounce 
that strange word. 

8.— I suppose so. I will now give you the first lesson in gram- 
mar. 

P.— Let me first take a good stiff horn of brandy to brace my 
nerves. (Drinks.) Now, sir, I am ready for Grammar, which, I 
repeat, I studied when a boy ; and I only desire to review what I 
know already. 
8,—H.ow many parts of speech are there? 
P.— What do you mean by that? 

S. — I mean, into how many parts of speech Is language divided? 
p.— Well, by golly, 1 don't know exactly,— but, from the im- 
mense number of words in the Bible, and in all the books at the 
Harpers, and in the Historical Society, and in all the newspapers, 
I should thiuk there must be, at the lowest calculation, about five 
hundred million parts of speech. 
8. — There are only nine parts of speech. 

P.— I begin to think you are crazy ; for, do you think you can 
humbug me by saying that there are only nine different words, or 
parts of speech, in the English language? I shall consider it to 
be my duty to have you put in the Lunatic Asylum, if you talk in 
that way. 

8, — I still assert that there are only nine parts of speech, which 
are : a noun, article, adjective, pronoun, verb, adverb, preposition, 
conjunction, and interjection. 
P.— Ah, yes, I recollect. 
8.— Well, what part of speech Is iron ? 

P.— As near as I cah recollect, iron is the seventh; and it may 
possibly be the ninth part of speech. 

No, sir,— It ls one of the nine parts of speech I just men- 
tioned. 

P._Ah, yes, excuse me,— I understand. Well, iron must be a 
conjunction, because it can be heated and spliced. 
8.— Iron Is a noun. 

P;— Ah, yes, I recollect perfectly well that iron i3 a noun, and I 
am surprised that I did not remember it, as I have long dealt in 
fron. and know all about it, 

S.— That will do for to-day,and I will resume your grammar les- 
sons to-morrow. Good day, sir, 

P. — Good day. I am much pleased wlte my progress in gram- 
mar, and I will see you again to-morrow with much pleasure. 
Good day, sir. 

[Exeunt, 



Stephen H. Branch, in his Cell at Black- 
well's Island—A Monrnful Scene. 

A lovely Family, at the iron door, peeping through its smat 
perforations. 
The Pawner.— What is your name, sir ? 
Stephen.— My name ls Branch. 
Father.— For what arc you confined? 
Stephen.— For an alleged libel. 
Father.— On whom ? 

Stephen.— On Mayor Daniel F. Tiemann, Simeon Draper, and 
Isaac Bell, Jr. 
Father.— What Is the period of your imprisonment ? 
Stephen.— One year. I think I have seen you before. What 
is your, name, sir? 

Father.— H d. 

Stephen.— Where do you reside? 
Father.— Jn Charleston, South Carolina. 

Stephen.— Ah ! The dearest associations of my life are con 
nected with two students bearing your name, who were from 
Charleston. 

Father.— My wife and children : I think the keeper has directed 
us to the Lunatic Asylum, Instead of the abode of convicts. Let 
us go and ask the keeper to show us to the prison, 

Stephen.— Stop, sir. I now most positively discern the relics of 
your early features. Were you a student at Cambridge in 1836? 
Father,— I was. 

Stephen.— And your brother also, who was rescued from a 
watery grave in Boston Harbor? 

Father (leans against the iron door, and his frame trembles, 
and his face assumes a deathly palor).— God of Heaven ! And 
are you the son of Judge Stephen Branch, of Providence, Rhode 
Island? 
Ntphcn.—l am, sir. 

Father (iviping sweat from his forehead and tears from his 
cheeks),— Dear Stephen : Give me your hand, after our long sepa- 
ration. Alas! my poor brother is dead, whose life you saved In 
that dreadful squall, in Boston Harbor, twenty-three years ago. 
(Ml weep, and his eldest daughter sobs aloud.) 
Stephen.— Where and when did your noble hmther die ? 
Father.— In Switzerland, ten years since ; and in hii last days 
he spoke most kindly of you. 
His Wife (in profuse tears) .—Have you a wife, Mr. Branch ? 
Stephen,— Neither wife, nor child, nor parents, nor hardly a 
relative on earth. And I am glad they have gone down to their 
happy graves. And I almost wish that I was reposing by thelr 
side. The earth ls no place for me, nor for those who expose the 
licentious officials and plundering monsters of this age, who allure 
spotless females into the horrors of prostitution, and drive the 
friendless masses into cellars and attics and crowded and pesti- 
lential habitations, and Into the inclement atmosphere. 

Wife.— But why rejoice over the eternal departure of nearly all 
your kindred? 

Stephen.— Because it would have blighted their health and fond- 
est hopes to have beheld me In a felon's dungeon. 
Wife.— But you have committed no crime ? 
Stephen.— I could not do that. And I am In prison, because I 
have exposed the crimes, and resisted the gilded bribes of official 
plunderers for a dozen years, aud utterly refused to join them In 
their various deeds of infamy. I could have been affluent, and 
had my liberty, if I had joiued the public thieves, and shared then- 
plunder. And if my parents were alive, although they would re- 
joice at my exposure of vicious public men, yet they would weep 
over the cruelty of those who consigned me to this dungeon, with- 
out an honorable trial, and rudely thrust me into the chain-gang 
of the quarries, and even yearn for my life. 
Wife— Yours seems a hard fate ? 
Stephen.— Yes ; mine is indeed a mournful destiny. 
Her Eldest Daughter (whose lovely eyes gleam with tears).— 
I weep over your misfortunes. I have often heard my dear uncle, 
whose life vou saved at the peril of your own, speak of you in 
tones of deep affection, and here Is a diamond breastpin he gave 
me in Switzerland, on the Lake of Geneva, on a tranquil moon- 
. t evening, only ten days before his soul's departure for the 
spirit realms. Take it, dear Mr. Branch, and keep it in remem- 
brance of his affectionate niece. To no other being would I pre- 
sent a sacred gift of my departed uncle. 

Stephen (with overwhelming emotion).— Please accept my pro 
roundest gratitude for your precious donation, which I will wear 
near a heart that dearly loved your departed uucle, with whom 1 
passed some of the happiest hours of my life. 

The Youngest Daughter (who is about ten years old).— Dear 
Mr. Branch : Will you take this sweet rose from me, and let me 
kiss you through the grate? 

Stephen.— O God ! This is too much for my poor nerves. (I 
shed copious tears, and all weep,) Yos, my pretty little girl, you 
can kiss me through the grate. (And her father holds her up. 
nd I place my pale, and cold, and haggard check to a perfora- 
tion of my cell door, and this affectionate little girl impirnts a 
fervent kiss, which I cordially reciprocate.) 

Father.— God has blessed me with great prosperity, and I will 
devote my fortune to your restoration to liberty. 

Stephen.— Mr. Ashmead, my able and faithful Counsel, assures 
mc that I will soon emerge from prison, through the Supremo Ju- 
diciary. I most sincerely thank you for your extraordinary gene- 
rosity, and for the visit of yourself and wife, and daughters, whom 
I will cherish all my days. 

Father.— When you obtain your liberty, you must come to 
Charleston, where you will be received with our wannest hospi- 
tality. 

Wife. — If you come, you shall never leave us. 

Eldest Daughter.— You shall have the vacant seat of my uncle 



at our table. 



STEPHENH. BRANCH'S AXJLIQ-ATOR. 



Youngest Daughter.— Yes ; and I will kiss you again— won't 1 1 
mother? — when you come to Charleston. 

Mother.— Yea, my dear child ; and you shall give him the sweet- 
est rose In our garden. 

Youngest Daughter.— That I will, and pretty flowers, too. 

Father*— Good by, Mr. Branch. (Strives to get hie hand I 
through the perforated door, but can clasp my fingers with but 
two of hie. Good by, sir — good by. 

Wife*— Good by, Mr. Branch. I hope you will be restored to 
freedom. 

Eldest Daughter— Good by, Mr. Branch. 1 shall think of you 
with kindness, after I am gone, and I shall yearn to see you at our 
home In Carolina. 

'Youngest Daughter.— Good by, dear Mr. Branch, and I want 
you to give me another kiss before I go. (I frins her, and receive 
many in return.) Good by, and you must not forget to come to 
Charleston, when these bad men let you out of prison. Good by, 
dear Mr. Branch, and I hope you will not be lonely and cry much 
after we have gone far away from you. Good by, Mr. Branch, 

Step/ten,— Farewell, kind friends, and may God ever bless you 
for your noble sympathy. (All go, and I prostrate my si f on my 
oot, and am in prayers and tears long after their mournful de- 
parture, 

I cut these lines from a newspaper when I 
was a boy. I think they bore the Christian 
name of a lady. I am no poet, and do not 
know their merit. Perhaps Bryant or Pren- 
trico can discern their beauties. Let pure and 
pensive and wild enthusiasts scan them for 
congenial spirits, and I think they will preserve 
these curious meditations which have been in my 
scrap-book since I was a pale youth, with my 
classic satchel, in the schools of Rhode Island. 
Those editors who copy these lines must not 
credit them to Stephen II. Branch, but they 
should say that they came from the jaws of his 
Alligator, as their author is unknown, and as 
that Animal introduces them to the public for 
the first time in thirty years : 

MIDNIGHT MEDITATIONS. 
Earth lies dumb before me, and the shadowa 
Of midnight cast their dim forme athwart It. 
Quiet is brooding o'er a silent world, 
And the soft hush of slumber seals each lid. 
Night Istoo fair for sleep : with me thought wakes 
And treads in distant paths, where human step 
Ne'er left an echo on the vacant air. 
The gorgeous canopy of heaven Is wrapped 
In silvery haze : Genu of uncounted wealth 
Bestud the lofty concave ; and the bright 1 
Moon seems rolling like a fiilvery ball 
Across the trackless tether, mantling the earth 
In glory ;— while her mellowed light 
Falls on my spirit with a holy calm, like that 
Of heaven. Tell us — why are we chained to earth ? 
*TIs far too gross for the Immortal mind. 
Which yearns for higher renhniB, and pants In vain 
For the full measure of perfection. Oh ! 
I have gazed upon night'B starry volume, 
Till I have read long lessons of delight, 
And drank the raptures of another world. 
Thought, living thought, bums to embrace the whole 
Of those deep mysteries eternity 
Conceals from mortal understanding ; and 
The mind speaks out, and questions every beam 
Which falls from the bright reservoir of heaven- 
Interrogates each plant and breathing thing- 
Retires within Itself, and calls- up every 
Faculty — sends powerful fancy forth to 
Search through untrod regions, but Bpends lta paw*rS 
Unsatisfied, till it sinks down at last 
Exhausted by its own Intensity. 

for a walk among those stars of light. 
Where grandeur fills Immensity ! I long 
To fling my soul upon the pinions of 
Eternity, and revel in the blaze 
Of glory unrevealed— to gaze upon 
The light that emanates from God's vast throne, 
And hear the music of the rolling Bpheres 
As they revolve In mystic circles round 
The deep centre of unknown attraction. 
Spirits of heaven are hov'ring round me, 
And breathe sweet Bongs of rapture in my ear. 
The rustle of their wings Is like the sigh 
Of leaves, when the soft zephyr moves among 
Their qulv'ring branches. Their hallowed voices 
Wake the eternity within me, and warm 
Aspirations rise from my heart's altar m 
To the great throne of Uncreated Power, 
The wings of seraphim seem wafting me 
In thought far through the bright and boundless ether. 
for the freedom of unbodied life ! 
To rove where thought ne'er ventured— where fancy 
Halts, her swift wing wearied in its lofty flight, 

1 gaze upon the stars, and drink the full 
Glory of the midnight heavens— and breathe 



The breath of spiritual existence, 

Till my soul beats, like a captive bin!. 

Against Its prison grates, and longs to soar away, and mix 

With Immortality. 

Are not the stars 
Immortal? Do they not live forever 
In a joy of light ? Have they not lookcdMown 
From age to age upon this distant world 
And watched its evolutions ? Viewed its face 
Change beneath the whelming flood— its cities 
Sink beneath the earthquake's shock— its mountains 
Belch destruction— its boasted empires fall— 
Its armies crushed in battle— its proud kingB 
Fade from earth— its ancient monumental 
Grandeur crumble Into dust ? Yet they roll on, 
Creatures of life, a beaming essence, 
A mysterious throng of heavenly 
Pageantry. But Is there not a region 
Far above that envious height ; above 
The stare ; where beings live forever, and 
No darkness comeB ; where light exists for ages. 
Unborrowed from the sun ; where storms dim not 
Its brightness ? and where rapture never dies? 
Yes, far above the sky-bound celling, there 
Is light — eternal light— Joy unsubdued, 
And everlasting life ! 

Ib there such a 
Thing as sin? I feel It not. This is a 
Holy hour. Nothing exists to me but 
Heaven, and heaven's pure habitants ; all worldly 
Thoughts are drowned in high communing. Is thew 
Such a thing as pain ? I know it not, who 
Oft have known it. Heaven's high-wrought happiness 
Is mine. This is a peaceful hour, and I 
Could deem myself already entered on 
Immortal ground, did not this clog of clay 
Assure me I am yet of earth, and have. 
Perchance, long years of pain, and wo, and sin 
To witness, and the dark vale of death is 
Yet unpassed by me, though ever near. Well, 
If it must be so, welcome the hour that 
Breaks these mortal shackles, and lets loose my' I 
Spirit on the wings of life, to find its 
Native element and long sought home, if 
Heaven at last be mine, Congenial spirit* 
Of unknown existence ! would that your forme 
Could be perceived by mortal eyes, that I 
Might hold sweet converse with you, and forget 
That lam mortal. 

Oh ! there is that 
Within, which tells me I was destined for 
A higher sphere ; that heaven was made for me ; 
For a.i— if we accept the gift, and mount 
Faith's ladder, as the word of life directs 
This life Is not our destiny ; 'tis but 
A prelude to a state eternal, a 
Mere beginning of existence, when once 
Begun, that ne'er shall cease to be. Life ! Life ! 
What art thou now— what art thou doomed to be? 
A shade ; a substauce ; dream ; reality ; 
A blessing or a curse ; a moment here ; 
Hereafter an eternity ! Dread thought. 
Eternity ! Eternity ! My soul 
Is lost in that vast subject, and I shrink 
Appalled from the unmeasured time to come. 
No more I ask to know its bidden Bpace; 
'Twill soon unfold to me, and I shall dwell 
Forever In its changeless realm ; no more 
To feel emotions known on earth, or think 
As now I think, or live as now I live ; 
'Till then, " the mysteries of fat* axe hid," 
And all lie buried in a world to come. 



A LADY M. D. OCCULIST AND AURIST RESTORES 
toSteht from Blindness, Amaurosis, Granulated Eye Lids 
and Weak and Sbxe Even of any standing ; opening Tear Glands, 
removma Cataracts, Scums, Films, Ulcers, Tumors, Cancer Ac., 
without operation or pain. Persons wearing spectacles perm* 
turelr enabled to do without them by recovering the natural 
tone of the eye Those of the aged strengthened and restored to 
the natural form or convexity. Vorst of eas.* treated smvess- 
fLilly, as seen at the Inflnnwry, from 12 M to 2 P, M., on Mondays, 
Wednesdays and Fridays. 

NO. 666 SIXTH AVENUE, NEW YORK 

(FrssT Floor, Rooms Nos. 1, 2 & X) 
Abundant personal references given that her remedies are harm- 
less, and her cures performed without operation or the slightest 
pain 



FALL ELECTION. 

State or New -York, ) 

Office of the Seohetary of State, > 

Albany. August 2, 1668. ) 
To the Sheriff of the County of New York: 
Olll— NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, THAT AT THE GE- 
O nend Election to be held in tliis State on the Tuesday succeed- 
ing the first Monday in November next, the following officers are 
to be elected, to wit : 

A Governor, in the place of John A, King ; 

A Lieutenant Governor, In the place of Henry R. Selden ; 

A Canal Commissioner, In the place of Samuel B. Ruggles, ap- 
pointed in place of Samuel S. Whallon, deceased ; 

An Inbpector of State Prisons, in the place of William A. 
Russell ; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of Decem- 
ber next. , TT , . 

A Representative In the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Third Congressional District, composed of the 
First, Second, Third, Fifth and Eighth Wards in the city of New 

A Representative In the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Fourth Congressional District, composed of the 
Fourth, Sixth, Tenth and Fourteenth Wards in the city of New 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Fifth Congressional District, composed of the Sev- 
enth and Thirteenth Wards of the city of New York, and the 
Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth and Sixteenth Wards of Brook- 

' A* Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States, for the Sixth Congressional District, composed of the 
Eleventh, Fifteenth and Seventeenth Wards in the City of New 

A Representative in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United 
States for the Seventh Congressional District, composed of the 
Ninth, Sixteenth, and Twentieth Wards In the City of New 

And also, a Representative In the Thirty-sixth Congress of the 
United States for the Eighth Congressional District, composed of 
the Twelfth, Eighteenth, Nineteenth. Twenty-first, and Twenty- 
second Wards in the City of New York. 

COUNTY OFFICERS ALSO TO I!E ELECTED FOR SAID 
COUNTY. 

Seventeen Members of Assembly : 

A Sheriff, in the place of James C. Wlllett ; 

A County Clerk, in the place of Richard B. Connolly : 

Four Coroners, in the place of Frederick W. Perry, Edward 
Connery, Robert Gamble and Samuel C. Hills ; 

All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of December 

The attention of Inspectors of Election and County Canvassers 
is directed to Chapter S30 of Laws of 1858, a copy of which is 
printed for Instructions In regard to their duties under said law. 
"submitting the question of calling a Convention to revise the 
Constitution and amend the same to the people of the State.' 

Chap. 320. 
AN ACT to submit the question of calling a Convention to revise 
the Constitution and amend the same, to the People of the 
State: 

Passed April 17, 1S5S— three-fifths being present. _ 

The People of the Slate of New York, represented in Senate 
and Assembly, do enact as follows : 

Seotion 1. The Inspectors of Election in each town, ward, and 
election district in this State, at the annual election to be held in 
November next, shall provide a proper box to receive the ballots 
of the citizens of this State entitled to vote for members of the 
Legislature at such election. On such ballot shall be written or 
printed, or partly written and printed by those voters who are In 
favor of a Convention, the words: "Shall there be a Convention 
to Revise the ( ^institution and amend the same ? Yes." And by 
those voters who are opposed thereto, the words: " Shall there be 
a Convention to Revise the Constitution and amend the same ? 
No " And all citizens entitled to vote as aforesaid shall be allow- 
ed to vote by ballot »8 aforesaid, In the election district In which 
he resides, and not elsewhere. 

52 So much of the articles one, two and three, of title four, or 
chanter one hundred and thirty, of an act entitled "Ad, act re- 
specting elections other than for militia and town officer, passed 
April fifth eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acta amcuding 
the same as regulates the manner of conducting elections and 
challenges, oaths to be administered, and inquiries to be made, of 
persons offering to vote, shall be deemed applicable to the votes to 
be given or offered under the act ; and the manner of voting and 
challenges, and the penalties for false swearing, prescribed by law, 
are hereby declared in full force and effect In voting or offering to 
vote under this act. ... ., , 

6 2 The said votes given for and against a convention, in pursu- 
ance of this act, shall be canvassed by the Inspectors of the several 
election districts or polls of the said election in the manner pre- 
scribed by law, and as provided in article four, of title four, of 
chapter one hundred and thirty of the said act, passed Apnl fifth, 
eighteen hundred and forty -two, and the actB amending the same, 
as far as the same are applicable ; and such canvass shall be com- 
pleted bv ascertaining the whole number of votes given In each 
election district or poll for a convention, and the whole number or 
voles given against such convention, in the lorm aforesaid ; and 
the result being found, the inspectors shall make a statement in 
words at lull length, of the number of ballots received in relation 
to such convention, and shall also state in words, at full length, 
the whole number of ballots having thereon the words. Shall 
there be. a Convention to revise the Constitution and amend the 
same? No" Such statements as aforesaid shall contain a cap- 
tion, stating the day on whieh, and the number of the district, the 
town or ward, and the county at which the election was held, and 
at the end thereof a certificate that such statement is correct in ail 
respects, which certificate thai] he subscribed by aU the "specters, 
anda true copy of such statement shall he Immediately filed by 
them in the office of the clerk ofthe town or city. 

84. Th •iginal statements, duly certified as aforesaid sun 1 .be 

delivered by trie inspectors, or one of them to be deputed for that 



fTlHE FINEST ILLUSTRATED WORK EVER ISSUED 

THE UFe"'ik''\VELS*AND ADVENTURES OF FERDI- 
NAND DE SOTO , Disci >VEREK OF THE MISSISSIPPI. 
1 vol 550 pages octavo 30 superb Steel and Wood Engravings, 
Printed online paper and bound elegantly^ One of these superb 
Steel Pletes is photographed of the »10,000 painting ordered by 
Congress, worth the price of the book. 

This book is indispensable to every library. Pronounced by 
The New York Herald to be " the most interesting book In the 
English language." 10,000 Agents wanted to canvass for this 
wofk, to whom we will give a district not already taken. 

Sent by mall free of postage od receipt of he money. Post- 
masters arc allowed 30 per cent on all subscribers they send us- 
Address 

JAMES T. LLOYD, PubUsher, Philadelphia, Perm. 



purpose, to the supervisor, or, In case there be no supervisor or 
he shall be disabled from attending the board of convassers, then 
to one of the assessors of the town or ward, wi hm twenty-four 
hours after the same shall have been subscribed by such inspec- 
tors, to be disposed of as other statements at such election, are 

"Tj'IIo 1 much of articles first,, second, third, and fourth of title 
fifth of chapter one hundred and thirty, of the act entitled, An 
actrespeeting elections other than for militia and town officers, 
and the acts amending the same, as regulates he duties of Coun- 
ty Canvassers and their proceedings, and the duty of County 
Clerks, and tin- Secretary of State, and the Board of State Can- 
vassers shall be applied to the canvassing and ascertaining the 
will of the people of this State In relation to the proposed con- 
vention ; and if it shall appear that a majority of the votes or 
ballots given in and returned as aforesaid are against a conven- 
tion, the, the said canvassers are required to certify and declare 
that fad by a certificate, subscribed by them and filed with the 
Secretary of State ; but if it shall appear by the said canvass that 
a majority of Ihe ballots or votes given as aforesaid are for a con- 
vention then they shall by like certificates, to be filed as afore- 
said declare that 'fact ; and the said Secretary shall common cat* 
a cony of such certificate to both blanches of the Legislature, 
St tic opening of the next session thereof. > ours, respectfully. 
^ GIDEON J. TUCKER, Secretary of State. 
SnERiFT's Orricr, ( 

New Yore, August 4, 1858. I 
The above is published pursuant to the notice ot the Secretary 
of State™ and tie requirements of the Statute la such ease mada 
and provided. 







STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S 



WEEKLY STAR, 



Vol. 1.— No. 13. 



OFFICE, 14 & 16 ANN STREET. 



Price One Cent. 



NKW YORK, SATURDAY, AUGUST 18, 1860. 



A NEW YORK CLERGYMAN IN 
THE DOMESTIC SLAVE TRADE ! 

Rev. George Polls, Pastor of the University Place 
Presbyterian Church, liviwj on the proceeds of 
the sale of fifty -six Slaves ! 

A few weeks since we published a review of por- 
tions of a Thanksgiving sermon preached by the 
Rev. Dr. George Potts, of New York, in Novem- 
ber, 185!), in which he uttered abolition sentiments 
of the most decided cast, and inveighed against j 
the " language of the statute books that degraded j 
human beings to the level of a chattel, as shocking 
to the common sense of Christendom, and entirely 
beyond vindication." Dr. Potts had further seen 
fit to say that " the crying evil of the system of 
tlavery was the liability to the breaking up of the 
domestic bond, by the separation of families ;" 
that " it demanded as prompt redress as can be 
applied," and that the existence of these separa- 
tions at all " was at war with the fundamental 
principles of Christian rights and duties." Com- 
menting upon this language, we felt called upon to 
obaerve : 

" Itisnotsuch as coming from one who had spent 
fifteen years at the south ; who owned slaves here 
and thought it no sin; who sold his family slaves 
when he left here without fear of the vengeance 
of the Almighty, and who now enjoys the fruits of 
•lave labor and slave property— it is not such as 
we expected, coming from him. His sentiments 
«annot be and are not the doctrine of his church. 
There now lies before us a file of the Natchez 
Courier, of January, 1854, in which, in a suit 
against that reverend gentleman, his large planta- 
tion of 1,200 acres in Washington county, together 
with fifty-six slaves, all set forth by name, and 
their natural increase for the preceding sixteen 
years, are. exposed for sale, and that, too, without 
» word being said about "the breaking up of the 
domestic bond by the separation of families," or 
the " degradation of human beings to the level of 
chattels," about which the doctor in the year 1869 
•o fearfully and glibly mourns. If he has ever 
thought the system abhorrent, where was his con- 
science from 1828 to 1854." 



in the discharge of duty, and to set ourselves preach before a sympathizing congregation about 
right, but agaiu to allude to it, and to let his ; the language of "Southern statute books dearad- 
denuueiatory sermon be judged in the light of j iug human beings to the level of " chattels," and 
facts which must be well remembered by him, as J to arouse them to a realization of how shocking a 
they are ready to be proven by the judicial I thing it is, and how entirely beyond vindication to 
records of our State. . • speak ol chattels at all ; and how inhuman and 

We supposed that the sale referred to was to how much at war with Christian rights and duties 



satisfy a judgment against Dr. Potts ; and thought 
him censurable, that if he had given a mortgage 
upon fifty-six slaves and their natural increase, he, 
entertaining the views thus expressed, had not 
provided in that mortgage against " any breaking 



it is to expose human beings to the breaking up 
of domestic bonds, and to the separation o: fami- 
lies. 

After his Thanksgiving Philippic to his no doubt 
delighted auditory in the Fifth avenue, New York, 



up of the domestic bond by the separation of j we should like to have read in his and their heariu 
families," in case the exigenoie*of life or business the record of his long continued and strenuous 
should compel the foreclosure of the mortgage J endeavors, success*! at last, to realise out of 
and the sale of the property so conveyed; and! such chattels his £18,892 and his ten per cent- 
hence the comparative mildness of the censure 



we cast upon the wide inconsistency between his 
views in 1838 and 1854. 

But the facts are really different, and show a 
more glaring inconsistency, and a much grosser 
fault upon the part of Dr. Potts, than we had sup- 
posed. Dr. Potts was not the real defendant in 
the suit, but was really the plaintiff; and it was 
on his application that the negroes were sold, and 
to defray the debt due him. The mortgage was 
executed to him iu May. 1838, to secure a debt of 
$18,892, with ten per cent, interest thereon; and 
the suit was commenced by him in the 
District Chancery Court at Natchez, to foreclose 'sale of I 
tin's mortgage. An English house (Deunistoun j increase. 



interest for nearly fourteen years. 

We have wondered somewhat why Dr. Potts has 
never replied to our notice of his sermon. We 
gave him every opportunity, and sent him a 
marked copy. We can now understand the motive 
of his silence :— " The least said, the soouest men- 
ded." 

So again, good night ! 



I must be cruel only to be kind ; 

Thus bad begins— but worse remains behind ! 

Good bye, Dr. Potts. The next Thanksgiving 

sermon against slavery had better be preached by 

Southern j some one who is not enjoying the fruits of the 

chattels " and their natural 



& Co.) intervened in order to render a subsequent 
mortgage given to them by the same party avail- 
able, and the contest was really between George 
Potts and Deunistoun & Co., which should save 
their money, principal and interest, out of the 
plantation and fifty-six "chattels," and the 
natural increase of those "chattels;" and that, 
too, without the slightest reference to the " domes- 
tic bonds " of those " chattels," orany consequent 
" family separations," so long as the amount due 
and interest for years at ten per cent, could be 
secured thereby. 
Dr 



The reader is referred to vol. 4 " Cushmau's 
Mississippi Reports," pages Vi etseq., for any fur- 
ther information in regard to the appeal case of 
Dennistoun vs. Potts ffaltyhez Courier, of Mis- 
sissippi. 



Had we known fully the facts of the case thus 
briefly relerred to, our language in regard to Dr. 
Potts would have been much more severe. We 
knew enough to be sure of the lack of Christian 
propriety, consistency or moderation, which his 
•ermon evinced; but, to spare the feelings of one 
ifho stood so high in this community, we avoided 
ising expressions which would have been per- 
fectly justifiable. A further tracing, however, of 
•he case to which we referred, leaves us no choice 



VERY PROPER. 

It has been reported for some time that the 
fattest thieves of New York contemplate a visit to 
Potts succeeded in the Chancery District! the Fowlers at Sing Sing and Cuba— Frank 
Court, and Messrs. Dennistoun & Co. appealed, and Ike— the first an Emigrant thief, and the 
The case was argued and re-argued before the last a Post Office robber. 1 dreamed the 
High Court, and decided in April, 1853. The other night that Manhattan Island would soon 
decision was that Dr. Potts' mortgage on these ' be destroyed by an earthquake, and 1 fear 
"chattels" held priority to that of the .Messrs. my vision will be fulfilled. 1 don't see how all 
Dennistoun; and that Dr. Potts' ten percent. America can be saved from the contamina- 
interest was not an usurious transaction, as was ting influences of .the public thieves of New York, 
alleged, it being to secure a loan of money. The save in the utter destruction of Manhattan Island, 
sale of " chattels " was ordered in January, 1854, It sterns hard for the virtuous to be engulphed 
without a word being said about " family separa- ! with the vicious, but there seems to be no alter- 
tions," and the sale was accordingly made. The native. The strong sympathy of the uncaged 
Rev. Dr. Potts received his principal and ten per , public thieves for their caged and exiled brethren, 
cent, interest, in all about $40,000, which he I demands a' speedy and terrible retfibutioni 
securely invested in other property, and upon the ! Or America will be a den 

interest of which he now lives in affluence, to Of devils in the forms of men. 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S WEEKLY STAR. 



A TREMENDOUS ALDERMAN1C 

CONTEST 

BETWEEN DRAKE AN'I) SKAGRIST. 

The approaching struggle between William 
Drake and Nicholas Seagrist, for Alderman of the 
Twenty-second Ward will closely resemble the 
contest between the American and British Cham- 
pions nt Farnborongh. I learn that the betting is 
in favor of Drake, who twice represented the 
Twenty second Ward in the Common Council. 
Bill Prake is a powerful man, and I pity the being 
who receives n blow from his mighty arm. While 
he navigated tiie beautiful Hudson, he was called 
Commodore Drake, and was considered the very 
soul of chivalry, and in the most terrible midnight 
storms, would pursue his way towards Albany 
when all other navigators sought shelter in the 
coves beneath the Hudson's mighty cliffs. On land 
or sea, Bill Drake is regarded as a daring soldier 
and mariner, and while an Alderman he wa6 the 
prolific source of wit and hilarity, and always kept 
the Board in a roar. I hear that thousands of 
electors desire his return to the Board of Alder- 
men, and that much dissatisfaction is evinced in 
the Twenty-second Ward at Alderman Seagrist's 
course in reference to the Japanese Bill and other 
matters. Although he did not finally vote for the 
appropriation, yet it is said that he secretly favored 
the action of the infamous Japanese Committee, 
who gave him a large number of tickets which he 
sold at very high prices. I know nothing of these 
reports, bnt they are whispered all over the city, 
and have been published in the daily and weekly 
public journals. If Alderman Seagrist is innocent, 
it is his duty to deny them under a question of 
privilege in the Board, or publish a card in the 
papers without delay. There iB said to be un- 
paralleled excitement in the Twenty-Becond Ward 
about the approaching Aldermanic election, and 

betting seems largely in favor of the gallant Drake. 

. m. » i^»*-* 

THE JAPANESE EXPENSES. 
Scene— JSrotm Stone's Hotel. Shylock, Jeffer- 
son Bkick and Liver, present. 

Broum Stone.— Well, Shylock, how are the Bulls 
and Bears to-day? 

Biiylock. — They are fighting as usual, like the 
Bulls of Spain and the Bears of California. 

Jefferson Brick.— I must go to the office, as I 
have a long editorial to write on the Japanese ap- 
propriation. 

B. S.— Ah, yes— well, Jeff., go it strong for onr 
hotel, and all will be right. 

Liver. — How much will be onr share? The 
" Times'' are hard you know. Bonner don't adver- 
tise much now, and Tammany Hall is down, and 
Tiemann and Cooper are lame ducks, and Greeley 
is triumphant at Chicago, and Weed is dead at 
Albany, and we have no pap at Washington or 
elsewhere, and altogether we are in a tight place, 
and in view of all this, perhaps it will be well to 
have a very definite nnderstanding. What say 
you, Brown Stone ? 

jj. S.—O. Liver, don't you be alarmed. I'll do 
the clean thing. If you do it up brown and help 
us get the appropriation through the Common 
Council, your share shall perfectly satisfy yon. 

i. If you deceive us, we shall open terrible 

batteries on your old sores. (Shylock and Jefferson 
Brick nod assent to Liver's threat). 



B. 8. — I understand you. and you shall be satis- 
fied. List! I hear music and cannon, and I do 
believe the Japanese are coming up Broadway.' 
(He looks out of the window.) My eyes! they are 
within ten blocks. 

8. — I guess we will retire, as oar presence might 
excite suspicion. 

J. B — And I think so too. 

i.— Audi. 

B. 8. — No, gents, you must remain and be intro- 
duced tc tlie Japanese. 

Trio. — You must excuse us. (A basket of Cham- 
pagne is broke'), and they drink and sing, "0 
we are a band of brothers," and the trio leave, and 
Brown Stone and his illustrious brothers take their 
position on the balcony to behold the Japanese, 
On their way 
Up Broadway. 

( To be. continued. ) 

SCOTCH TOADS. 

Bennett is puffing and blowing the Prince of 
Wales into a balloon, and while he thus enacts the 
toad himself, he warns others to beware of fulsome 
adulation of the Prince. Bennett only lives to 
punish the Fifth Avenue aristocracy for his long 
ejection from their pleasing society, and he finds 
that he can deeply plunge his steel into their hearts, 
through his 6laves Wood and Buchanan. For 
through these high officials he recently monopolized 
the Japanese, and would not let the Fifth Avenue 
aristocracy see them without kissing his hands and 
toeB, and now he hopes to monopolize the Prince 
of Wales through Wood and Buchanan. His only 
formidable rivals are wealthy British American 
residents, and lie has almost silenced their opposi- 
tion, and is in a fair way to have the Prince all to 
himself, when he will sweetly repose on his laurels, 
and revel and reel and totter and expire in the 
absence of more warriors and princes and sove- 
reigns to conquer. 

And then in turn the worms will feast 
On the carcase of this vile beast. 



A BLOODY STRUGGLE 
CONGRESS. 



FOR 



-*-•»• 



WHITEWASH. 

I wonder what Jefferson Brick got for his receut 
whitewash of the notorious Erben. It won't do, 
Henry. You must get a better endorser than the 
bogus presbyteriau of these degenerate " Times." 
Try old satan. He may possibly restore you to 
good society. 



Ben Wood, Dan Sickles, Amor Williamson, 
Hiram Walbridge, and Steve Branch are in the 
field for Congress, and are marshaling their forces 
from sun to sun. Ben and Dan rely on the " Re- 
peaters" — Amor on the "Masons" — Hiram on the 
Boarding House Keepers — and Steve on the 
patriots of '7(5. 1 ran for Alderman, Congress, 
Mayor and for the Alms House. I got a few votes 
for Alderman and Congress, one vote for Mayor, 
which was my own, and two hundred and fifty 
votes for the Alms House, which was not very 
flattering, as the dear people seemed the most in- 
clined to send me to the Poor House. But I shall 
persevere, and if I do reach Congress, my golly, 

How the feathers will fly, 

Not towards the fair sky, 

But where big demons lie 

In wait for thieves that die, 

Down in the blazing pit, 

Where they soon will be lit. 

And roasted forever 

For stealing pale silver. 



REPORTS. 

It is said that the invisible proprietors of " Tiit 
Daily World " have purchased the " New York 
Sun," and that the subscribers and advertisers of 
the latter will be transferred to the former as 
rapidly as possible. The " World" proprietors 
have their cannibal eyes and jaws and claws on 
the " Neic York Daily Times," and then the 
'• Herald .'" But they will have a mighty hard 
scuffle before they get my " Star" in their fangs. 
There is not gold enough in the " World" to bay 
my brilliant and priceless and glorious " Star," 
which I will love and defend 

Till time with me shall be no more, 
And Sexton Brown knocks at my door. 



A PRECOCIOUS VILLAIN. 

Ifreally seems, as 1 go to press, that the Com 
mon Council has agreed to eject Tappan and 
Craven, and appoint Wood-and-Bennett Crotou 
Commissioners. I predicted this three weeks 
since, and as Bennett now recommends the 
payment of the Japanese bill immediately, and 
as the Wood-Bennett-Chatfield injunction proves, 
as 1 predicted, a flash in the pan, and got up 
to coerce the Common Council into the appoint- 
ment of Wood-Bennett Croton Commissioners— in 
view of all this, 1 gue?s that the money will soon be 
paid, and Wood-Bennett Croton Commissioners 
appointed. Bennett is a precocious villian, and 
loves money and power as intensely at seventy- 
five as he did at twenty-five years old. 



CLEAR THE TRACK. 

Blow the bugle and bang the drums, 
And stretch your eyes when Purdy comes 1 
It is not probably known to this | eneration that' 
in H23 the triumphant rider of " Eclipse " was the 
uncle of Elijah P. Purdy, the great " War Horst " 
of the present age and Supervisor of the County. 
And it is not also generally known that Elijah is to 
ran a mighty race in the Congressional arena in 
the coming Autumn, when it is supposed he will 
sadly distance all his antagonists. Indeed, one of 
his constituents told me the other day, that Purdy 
would Eclipse his distinguished uncle, and run 
like a whirlwind on the storm— or like Mazeppa in 
the wilderness — or like the impetuous steeds of 
Murat, Napoleon, Washington, Jackson aud Gari- 
baldi, amid the havoc and thunders of battle. 

On ! Purdy ! on ! 

To Washington ! 

And vote to hang 1 

The traitors' gang I 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S WEEKLY STAR. 



IMPORTANT. 

Advertisers must briug their advertisements by 
nine o'clock in the evening. It is utterly impossi- 
ble to work off my stupendous and overshadowing 
edition in time for my subscribers, if my adverti- 
sers are so dilatory." Classification is out of the 
question, as the classification column is deluged 
now. This noticemust be regarded as peremptory, 
from which there can be no a ppeal ! 



E 



R. WEBB & CO.. 



THE JAPANESE RECEPTION BILL 



KOSSUTH ENTERTAINMENT. 

The Japanese Embassy and their suite — some 
seventy persons in all — were here thirteen days. 
For keeping them at the Metropolitan Hotel, riding 
in carriages, and Q nsic and bad entertainment, the 
eitv is charged $10 

On the lGth of K vemb r, 1861, Kossuth and 
suite — altogether numbering sixty-seven — arrived 
in this city. They were entertained at the Irving 
House, then the leading hotel of' New York. A 
month and ten days they were the city's guests. 
During that time theyfeasted on the best the New 
York market afforded, enjoyed tarriage riding to 
their heart's content, and had two balls given in 
their honor. The total billsfortheir entertainment 
footed up tl9,not), of which $10,000 was the hotel 
bill. Agains the payment of the hotel bill two or 
three Aldermen stoutly protested, insisting that it 
was extravagant. The bill, however, was paid, 
and thus wound up this reception of nne years 
ago. 

New York is a great city. Look on the two pic- 
tores. Comment is unnecessary. — World. 



110 Fulton, and 16 and Is Dutch Sts. 
PRINTERS' FURNISHING WAREHOUSE. 
Dealers in all kinds of printing materials, news- 
paper, card and job presses, and manufacturers 
of wood-type, cases, stands, reglet. &c. 

A large assortment of second hand type and 
presses always on hand. 

Boxwood and Mahogany lor Engravers. 

Stamps of all kinds engraved to order. 
E. R. Webb G. Dudley Wells 

William Titterton Wm. H. Havens. 



JOHN B. WEBB, Boat Builder. 1 -4 South Street, 
and 71U and 71i Water street, has a rare assort- 
mei t of oars, skulls, sweeps, l. indspiki -. gipsey 
bars, &c, constantly on hand. My boats are ot 
superior models. Please give me a call. 

JOHN B. WEBB. 



BENJAMIN JONES, Commission dealer iu real 
csiate. Houses, and stores, and lots for sale iu 
all parts of the city. Also Farms for sale or 
exchange. Office next to North-East corner of 
Forty-Sixth street, in Seventh avenne. 

OSBORN & BROWN, 
MERCHANT TATLOS& 

No, 9 Chamber Str£eT, (near Chatham.) 
New York 



GEORGE A . BUCKINGHAM & Co.. 

CIVIL ENGINEERS, 

SUBVEY0B8 ANT) CONTRACTORS. 
ROADS CONSTRUCTED OR MACADAMIZED, 

PROPRIETORS OF THB PATENT OP THE 

Russ and Excelsior* Iron Pavements, 

Belgian and other Pavements laid to order. 

Office, No. 82 Broadway, 

New York. 



I HAVE RECENTLY ENLARGED MY PLACE. 
and have Birds. Flowers, Fountains, and the 
choicest Wines and Brandies. My Bird Care is the 
largest iu the world, being 40 feet long and 40 
feet wide, ami to feet Jeep. 

ROBERT ONDERDONK, 

400 Grand st. cor. Clinton. 




iiiiiiiisj mui 




and let me sjy m/tr this KtfosnsoGE/s 
sscavo o\i.YTo CHiiiSl IPM7YM the benefits 

IT IS CAPABLE Or CONFERRING UPON RANK! KID. 
LET fJOT MEDICAL /HEN PERSUADE YOU BftAAID: 
R£7#S Pit LS AREA OJJiCX REMEDY. IT ISNOSUCH 

S^S^firCi-TO vow tor z sStTSn^^ 

>- -- COULD KOT SUPPLY FOH ONE DOLLAR >-? 

Mr HERBS A/HO EXTRACTS ARE Ail PREPARED 
f.V/WY OWN LABORATORY. WHERE A STEAM ENGINE 
OFf40 HCFISE ■ POWER IS EMPLOYED EXCLUSIVELY 
<^>FOR THIS PURPOSE BESIDES AN EXTENSIVE^ 

^S35jgta riilsYou bisk «££=^ 

s^r^i^B KEN USED KTMHgggS^ 
SO THATSPSU'./.' . QU FEEL DISPOSED TOTAKEX 
SBTSOSE YOU mil be CERTAINLY A3LE to live 
THOUGH THE OPERA TION;AMB YOU MAYA * -V 
THE LA UG/,' O/V YOUR SIDEjWHENTHE X>OC2:0 B 
TELLS YOU THAT HE HIT YOUR CASEEXAHTLY li'iT.IT-:/ . 
&AST 'Kf£0/C/A ! £. SO OH IN THE USE OE THEPIL L S. 

THEY WILL CURE WITHOUT HURTING YOU ft , 
OAGl/MS. AND IN EVERY WAY IMAASVE TOUR HEALTH, 
INTACT GIVE YOU SUCH AS WAS ENJOYED BY THE 

(KBBANBRETH'S FRINClPALGfRG? 

C^rr-iS.CAA'&i, STMCT WE'VY 

^AHnBTBFS AJLTL EM : ! 



MORRIS K. JESUP keeps constantly on hand 
a very large assortment of Railroad iron. 
Railroad Chairs, Railroad Spyfci i imotives, 

Cars, Wheels. Axles and Tyres, and will sell all ol 
. ' iv.- in small or lars qna ttitii - cheap tor 
at No. 44 !■;■■' in re I <>■.•. 

"HEAL THE SICK ." 

"A fiend □ need is a friend indeed." 1' 
of the unfortunate are disap] ted of i 
not calling on Dr. Hunter at first. The 

rian Disj sary, No. 3D viaionStn et.NewYork 

City. E abl bed in 1834, for the preservation 
of Hu aan Life. 

PATE CONSCLTATJONi — DOCTOR B.CHTI 
I his attention t 

a certain class, in which be :.. I no less 

than fifteen thi h 

of failure. The rem lie 
interruption co basinet s orch ,n D 

Hunter is in constan ■ . idam 7 in the 

morning until 10 at night, at his old office. 3 Divis- 
ion st. Charges mod rate, and o cure guaranteed. 
Sepai ate i oom i jo tha tin pi tient ees noonebut 
the Doctor himself. Inviolate secrecy in every in- 
stance. His great remedy, Hunter's Red Drop, 
cures certain diseases when regular treatment and 
all other remedies fail ; cures without dieting or 
restriction in the habits of the patient; cures with- 
out the disgusting or sickening effects of all other 
remedies; cures in new cases in less than six 
hours; cures without the dreadful consequent ef- 
fects of mercury, but possesses the peculiarly val- 
uable property of annihilating the rank and poi- 
sonous taint that the blood is sure to absorb unless 
this remedy is used. This is what he claims for 
it — what no other will accomplish. Its value in 
this respect has become so well known that scien- 
tific men in every department of medical knowl- 
edge begin to appreciate it ; for hardly a week 
passeE that he is not consulted by druggists, chem- 
ists, and physicians, in regard to some pitiful pa- 
tient who has exhausted the whole, field of the 
faculty, and still the disease will appear. What hu- 
man being with any pretension to Christianity will 
say that this medicine shall not be made known 
far and wide? Its popularity is bo great that there 
is not a quack doctor in the city that hns not at- 
tacked it; and when they find 'that their lies are 
not so easily swallowed, they then pretend that 
they make it. It is $1 a vial, and cannot be ob- 
tained genuine anywhere but at the old office, 3 
Division st. Book, 300 pages for nothing. 



COREY & SON. Merchants Exchange, Wall St., 
New York. Notary Public and Commissioners. 
United States Passports issued in 36 hours. BillB 
of Exchange, Drafts, and Notes protested. Ma- 
rine protests noted and extended. 

EDWIN F. COREY. 
EDWIN F. COREY, Jr. 

JOHN B. WEBB. Boat Builder, 718 Water street. 
My boats are of models and materials unsurpass- 
ed by those of any boat builder in 1he world. 
Give me a call, and if] don't please yon, 1 will 
disdain to charge yon for what does not fully sat- 
isfy you. 

JOHN B. WEBB. 



s 



PRTNG AND SUMS! Ml!. 



SEASON CLOSING; prices greatly reduced ; 
saving fully 25 per cent, to the purchaser. 

The most tasty and fashionable assortment of 
ready made clothing, suitable to all and in every 
variety. Children's department not excelled. 

P. B. BALDWIN. Nos. 70 and 72 Bowery. 
The largest store in the Bowery. 

FULTON IRON WORKS. James Murphy* Co. 
Manufacturers ol marine and land engines, boil 
ers. ,vc Iron and brass castings. FootofCherrj 
stn el Cast river. 

j&y We recognize no superior in oar pursuit. 

S i 'i' uFg BILLl M'li ROOM. 

i i el and Broadway, is eluded foi 

renovation and alien. li ns. Di I ihe re- 

opening will be given in this paper. All business 
order! in the meantime wil be attended t" at the 
manufactory. 63, 65, 67, and 69 Crosby street. 
PHI Li v . COl LENDER. 



MACARTHY'S SIGN SHOP, 

IORNER of Ann ant Nas? 





I am ready ! Where's the Job? 

HOC ■ IB PAINTING 

Prompliy Attended to. 



G E E G E Y • S 
FIRE-PROOF STORAGE WAREHOUSES. 

ESTABUSBED I.\ 1S4.". 

A. S. VOSBUBGH, 

Successor to George J. Gregory, 

3 Beaver Street, and fi Broadway, New 
York. Office, 8 Beaver Street. 

Refers, by permission, to 
Messrs. LAWRENCE, GILES * CO.,' 
LEAYCRAFT & CO. 
EOYD A. HINCKEN. 
WM. HULBDRT & CO. 
DARLING, ALBERTSON k ROSE. 
JOHN B. THOMPSON. 
GERARD C. LESTER A -CO. 
GREER. TURNER & CO, 
COOPER, HEWITT & CO. 
" HULMBOE 4 HOADLEY. 
Mr. JOHN VAN BUREN. 
" GEORGE W. BEALE. 



J-, 



/- an 



STEPHEN H. BRANCH'S WEEKLY STAR. 



GENERAL NOTICES. 



SAMUEL SNEDEN, Ship and Steamboat builder, 
Greenpoint. I am now prepared to build either 

wood or iron steamboats, of any style or magni- nrvTroTQ ivn top prim rr iiqepiii, 

tude, either for river., or the oce/n, at the shortest ; D ^ ?™r.\ S JoSS I^St 

possible notice. o Npn ™ tlreeiinoiiit ' street > has a white substance for all decayed teeth, 
SAM Ufcb SNEDEN, Greenpoint. , whjch bg ca , u Crystalized Enamel . Iti8 hidestruc- 

L^ocvTrirv uf,,,^, „ lmr ,„ D w „,. TzrvaT : table, free from mercury, and from every other 
OBENZO MOSES, BUILDER No. 316 WEST objec ' tionable e , e „ ient . fcv it, use, the original 
Twentieth street, is prepared _to receive orders j for J In of tne teeth „ in be restored, and the front 
for the erection ol every kind of edifice, and flat- fe ^ e9p( . cia]ly KMpd in tver7 res pect, more sat- 
ters himself, from his long experience, that he j s f ac torilythan with gold. It has been approved 
larable domestic and ,.,.,; i.\,„,;..,. 1 v.,. 



can build as elegant and 
commercial, and public habitations, us any builder 
in the Western Hemisphere. And all who favor 
him with their orders, shall not complain of his 
work, and will receive liis warmest gratitude for 
their patronage. 

HIRAM ANDERSON, No. 99 Bowery.hns M dal- 
I Carpets with Borders. Brussels carpets, 

Church carpets, Royal Velvets and Office cai ete 
Damask and Tile Floor Oil-Cloths. B tgs, Mats 
Slatting, Window Shad i ' Coi era. 

All the rbove will be sold at low pi 

HIR \M ANDERSON, I B 



T 



tf Brandrelh's ]'■ 
1 of C. ./. Fay from 131 pouti b to I - 
pout 'l ■ in in i ■ ■■ i ifAi Read: 

■ ii, X. J., May 7, ' I 



by six chemists, and by all dentists who have seen 
it, whose names will be disclosed to all who desire 
them 

1" i i . ■ proprietor of the a!.- e Invaluable invention 
offers the recipe to the profession as soon as one 
housa ! subsci ibers d r'- each are obtained. 
A. JOHNSON. 
No. ! Twelfth Street, 
Formerly of No. 35 Bond Street. 

ALANSOJ NASH, 

i OUNSELLO : AT LAW. 

No. :sb Bekkman St., 

New York. 

TRIMMING MANUFACTURERS B. S. fates 

.. I o., 6 (9 Broadway, N sv. York. Fringes, Cords, 



CB. HATCH, Importer and Jobber of Men's 
• Furnishing Goods, and Manufacturer of the 
Golden Hill Shirts, 403 Broadway, New York. 

HL CORWIN'8 New Refreshment Saloon, cor. 
Front and Beekman streets, under Fultoa 
Market, New York. 



F 



KRDINAND C. WEYRICH'S 

OYSTER SALOON, 

No. f>4 Greenwich Avenue. 
Oysters in every style. 



HUGH DAVlES,(suceessortoThomasMalianey,) 
Tenpin and Ball Manufactory, No. 121 Walker 
street, corner of Center. Constantly on hand a 
large assortment of-the above articles of superior 
quality at very low prices. Any orders from the 
country promptly attended to. Tenpin Alleys 
built to order. 



»*-B, ' ,.' IVoprS^SpBVnaf 

o write to yoi I express m >r the I > ' '_ 



to 

rat hs i 

my own ad ii Ireds, aj '. thou-an i 

of o ■ ■■ - P lis. The 

sold your pills in 
Boston, 183 . ! .'I id h lii I was then in 
:, i my friends, as 
well is myself, n] n ised my i irtbly voyage would 
soon terminati Ir. 1 : id me to take 

;ii Pills, but having used o a tch 



FULLMER & WOOD, | irriage Manufacturers, 
230 West Nineteenth street, New York. 
Horse-shoeing done with despatch, and in the 
most scientific manner, and on reasonable terms. 



FrRE, 
wit] 



BURGLAR AND DAMP PROOF SAFES, 
ith Powder and Burglar Proof Locks. The 
reputation that the Alum Patent Safes has enjoj 



lino good e :l B i in i I for many years ol perfect impenetrability ol 

,, | . ,.. indcalmlys bn t to fire mtire freedom from dampness, (the groat evil 

my fate. Mi to give me on do; a of every other safe,) comtaeuds them to thi 

boxes if I would take I pi scribed. By tion of all persons requiriatrprotection from fire and 

i ■ i them, and I ' These safes a. , lie only om - • 

ed i I '.■ i tasagift. I went | ed of heavy angle iron and corner braces, which 



bom md h ent at it most li After tak- 

betti .Well 

i i sed I is [ was a well, 

healthy mat m; weight having gone from 131 
to 1)2 pounds. I then orde 'd a supply, and be- 
tween that time and the presjnt, I nave retailed 
three thousand dollar ' worth ol these in 
pills, and am quite sure that I have therebj been 
instrtimer saving not hundreds, but thous- 

ands of liv:-s. Yi ui'S truly, 

i'. .1. FAY, Postmaster. 

Principal office for sale of 

BRANDRETH'S PILLS, 

2. )t Canal street, 
Also, No. 296 Bowery : Campbell's, corner, 8th 
Avenue and 2-th street, ami No. 4, Union Square, 
where advice is given daily without charge. 

Ey. SI'EKRY, (successor -to J. Lane,) Look- 
ing G! iss"- ril Picture Frames, No. 191,6th 
Avenue, New-York. 



cannot be cut through. Bankers and Jewelers re- 
quiring Fire and Burglar proof depositories, or 
both combined, are invited to examine the speci- 
mens at our Store, or at our Factory, where they 
can readily satisfy themselves of their superiority. 

VALENTINE & BUTLER, 
Patentees and Sole Manufacturers, 337 Broadway, 
New York. 

CHARLES CONGDON, Hardware Merchant, No. 
28 Cliff street, has every variety of Hardware, 
and will sell the same for cash or approved credit, 
at rational prices. Favors solicited from pur- 
chasers in every State of the Union, and also from 
the Canadian Possessions. 



GEORGE R. HAZEWELL, 

COAI. AND IRON AGENCY. 

No. 7 Broadway, 

New York. 



» BOOT AND SHOE EMPORIUMS— EDWIN A. 
BROOKS, Importei and Manufacturer of Boots, 
Shoes and Gaiters, wholesale and retail. No. 575 
Broadway, and 159 Fulton S ! re"t, New York. 

HN. WILD, STEAM i lNIH MANUFACTU 
rer, No. 451 Broadway, between Grand and 
Howard streets. New York. My Iceland ,M iss 
and Flaxseed Candy will cure coughs and Sore 
Throat in a very short time, 



Sr KHCTH£i 



NINC 



BOATS! BOATS! PLEASURE BOATS! 

IugersoU's Metalic Life Boats; Ships' Boats, 
Sail aad Steam Yachts on hand — making an assort- 
ment of some ion Boats at 1 igersoll's Largest and 
Cheapest Boat Establishment in the World, 243 
and 214 South street. 



PATENT 

POROUS 

PLASTERS 

2«"£™"i,MK. M>r\.Y£.O.V«t 

Ihwtwwo *v,a» 

S-|VX.S«I£WE.S1 

[itVA'SW&'TOY.NB 

gVsYTCR WAT»Y>>XS 

l?mK.«K4¥tlS V.M.V., 

9,0 OV IVSTWAk Mtt> RULTMMSWWS CW=S\ 

A^VJ SW^.W isWlv. c* -uu: ^?,T_!\^i TOW 
ivct vivvt ^ ewxWAto •vov^t wwjttoe«s twfv 
PS.*. W\iaA.\lM«JL. VRt-MtV^Wti TYJftSUi?* 

»>i VVvXSXCVMta.tO?. W,OT.t VtVVf .VAT\tM\.lW.* 
S«. VR\t*T|V.Tj B.WVS OT tJVRtCtXO^S 

%&A.-W ALLC O C K a Co. 

^YJS^ K\.\-\5WAiOO\5AS 



TttVS\.VVWt««»' 

V\\v.Vi\ t\CW\ s 

AV>«\\S SWCV^.TaO? 

VO\S"\UW. ViNC^Rs 
*Uv5t\.M«.VII«l»WO.'3 

knocmv.VALV.VCt'; 

TVsOMVAiWVT-WtS 
sooMvnwwwe 



RD-166! 



ClUMMTNGS H. TUCKER; Builder, No. 204 West 
Thirtieth St., can erect any kind of habitations, 
with wood, brick or stone, and can do his work as 
weil and as cheap as any builder in New-York. 
He has erected many school houses and other pub- 
lic buildings, and lias built some of the most ele- 
gant mansions on our most aristocratic avenues, 
and hi is prepared to erect them as I ipidly and as 
satisfactorily as any other builder in the United 
Stafs 

TOWARD DdDiiiO, 

BANKER, 

No. 51 Wall Street, 

OPPOSITE THE EXCHANGE. 

FRANCIS B. BALDWIN. Wholesale and retail 
clothing and furnishing warehouse, 7(1 and 72 
Bowe between Canal and Hester streets, New 
York. Large and elegant assortment of Boy's 
and Youth'B Clothi ig. 

F. B. BALDWIN. 

WILLIAM EVERDELL S SONS, Card auu Gen- 
eral Engravers, Business, Visiting, and Wed- 
ding Cards, Copper-plate, Letter-press. Litho- 
graphic, and Steam Job" Printers. Cheeks and 
Notes, Door Plates, Gum Tickets, Seal Presses, 
&c. Manufacturers of all kinds of Envelopes and 
business Labels. 104 Fulton Street, New York. 

BOOKS! BOOKS!! BOOKS!!! Of Dumas, 
Reynolds, Paul De Kuck, Ainsworth, Green- 
horn, J. F. Smith, etc., constantly uu hand. Call 
and examine stock. 

J. H. FARRELL, 
14aud 16 Ann St., (up stairs.) 

J A M ES DONNELLY, Coal Dealer, No. 410 Second 
Avenue, has every variety of Coal, from all the 
leading Coal Mines of America, and he flatters him- 
self that, he can sell his coal on as reasonable terms 
and give as good weight or measure as any other 
coal dealer in the whole world. 

FOLEY'S CELEBRATED GOLD PENS. 

For sale by all Stationers and Jewellers. 

Office and Store, 

463 Broadway. 



D. CAROLIN & SON, 

DRY Goal's, 
No. 7 Barclay Sti i 



( Pp Stairs,) 



New York. 



GERARD BETTS & Go. 

A UCTIONAND COMMISSION MERCHANTS, 

No. 10B Wall Street, cc rner of Front st. 

New York. 



I tOATING, ROWING \M> SAILING is deserv- 
-L) edly becoming a popular exercise for ladies, 
gentlemen and children. 



All families near the 
water, during the coming season, should have»a 
boat. 100 Life, Pleasure, Sail, Club, Ship, and 
Fancy Boats of all kinds and length-, constantly 
on hand, at INGERSOLL'S largest and cheapest 
establishment in the world, 243 & 244 South 
street, N. Y. 




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